Chapter 11: Friendly Competition

After a few more days of slow waiting, the day had finally come: The time for the Las Pegasus Road Trip. Luna had already packed the night before so she could be ready to head out early morning. To say that she was excited would be an understatement. While she actually had political business to tend to during her stay, that would only last two days at most. She and the girls (plus Helmuth, whom she ‘coerced’ to come along) would be spending about a week in the Pegasus Strip. The possibilities were endless for them! First thing was first though, actually getting everyone together. All the girls had decided to meet at Carousel Boutique as it was closer to the main road out of Ponyville.

“Helm! How are you doing in there? Got everything ready?” Luna called out from the outside of her faithful guard’s tentative quarters. She had him spend the previous evening there to make things easier.

“Come on in, Luna. I’m just zipping everything up,” she heard his voice call out. With that, she entered his room and found him closing a couple bags.

“So, refresh my memory as to why you’re making me tag along?” Helmuth asked, zipping up the second bag of his necessities.

“Because like I once did, you need to have some fun. Also, I had given Windfire the week off to keep Celestia company, and sane, while she works here, and it’s only fair that you have a week off as well. If I left that to you, you’d probably still stay here and drill. So, you’re coming with us. It’s just you and seven other girls, if that’s any comfort,” Luna said nonchalantly.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he deadpanned back. Luna spun on her heels to face him.

“Really now? I’m quite surprised at you. Most men would jump at this opportunity yet you’re cowering at it. Why? Why exactly? Why? Is it the fact that you’re surrounded by so much estrogen? ” Luna asked, attempting to decipher him.

“Not… entirely…” he responded.

“What is it then?” Luna persisted.

“Look, I haven’t had the most lovely relationships with women my entire life. Part of me is still irrational about it.”

“Well, you’ll learn to get over it. You need to grow a pair, because no personal male guard of mine is going to have a vagina. Come on, we’re burning early morning light and there’s some people I want to introduce you to. To the garage!” Luna said, beckoning him along. He rolled his eyes.

“Alright, alright, let’s go!” Helmuth stated in a conceding manner as they strode out into the corridor and into the waiting sunlight.

All the girls had been getting ready all morning in anticipation of the trip ahead of them. They had all been pleasant talk amongst themselves while they waited for Luna and her “guest” to arrive. They were actually quite curious as to who would be tagging along, since Seafire couldn’t take a week off. Their questions would soon be answered when they heard a large motor-like sound outside of the boutique.

“Oh! That must be them!” Pinkie said, bounding out of her seat and towards the front door. The others followed her out, only to be greeted by a rather large looking, military-esque vehicle. From the driver’s and passenger’s seat, dropped out Helmuth and Luna respectively.

“…who is that?” Rainbow Dash asked Rarity through a whisper.

“I’m not sure but if any inflection in your voice is key, yes he looks rather cute in my opinion as well,” Rarity replied back.

“He’s definitely a cutie pie! I’d even let him eat my pie!” Pinkie said just softly enough to be considered a whisper. The girls who heard that just facepalmed.

“Pinks… just… I didn’t need that image. Just… no,” Rainbow Dash replied. Pinkie only giggled.

“Hey girls! We all set?” Luna asked, greeting her friends.

“We sure are!” Twilight said, levitating a ton of bags outside. Luna nodded approvingly. Helmuth stood by her side.

“Excellent! Now girls, there is someone I want to introduce you all too. This is Helmuth Nightwing, my other personal guard and pretty much another one of my closest friends,” Luna said proudly, moving aside to give him center stage.

“Hey girls!” he said in a very friendly manner, accompanied by a wave and a smile. He walked forward and got introduced personally to all of them, forgoing his shyness with some effort.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle, and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Nightwing,” Twilight introduced herself, holding out her hand. Helmuth gently embraced it with his own.

“Please, ‘Miss’ Twilight, formalities are not necessary. Just call me Helmuth or Helm, whichever you prefer,” he said in a very friendly and soothing tone. Upon Twilight meeting his gaze, something clicked in her… a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time. The realization made her shy away and color at his gaze, giggling lightly. She didn’t know why she did that.

“Ah’m Applejack! Live and operate on Sweet Apple Acres… finest apples ‘n all of Equestria!” AJ introduced herself, surprising him with a firm handshake, but getting surprised in return when he reciprocated with a firm handshake of his own.

“So you’re the one responsible for all those delicious apples at the castle! It’s an honor to meet you in person, Miss Applejack.” He leaned in close. “Between you and me, Luna would sneak pounds of apples and assorted apple treats to her room at night… it was hilarious,” he added, sharing a laugh with the farm-girl. Luna playfully leered at him. Applejack felt she was liking this guy already… perhaps a little too much for first impressions.

“I’m Pinkie Pie! And I looooove to party!” Helmuth gently took her hand as well.

“Well, I enjoy partying as well, albeit not as… energetically,” he joked. Pinkie giggled. As he moved on she ‘accidentally’ bumped her forearm into his posterior and rubbed it a bit. He noticeably tensed up at this and Pinkie apologized, giggling like a mad-girl inwardly.

“My name is Rarity, and it’s quite lovely to personally meet one of Luna’s guards. I must say I’m… not disappointed in the slightest,” Rarity introduced herself, somewhat hanging on her last words. Helmuth processed this inwardly and ultimately thought nothing of it. He took her hand as tenderly as the rest.

“Ah, the lovely Rarity. A pleasure to meet you as well. You look absolutely stunning, true to your name,” He said with a smile before moving on. Rarity colored slightly as well. Such a flatterer. To be honest, Helmuth had no idea how he mustered the courage to say that.

“The name’s Rainbow Dash! Fastest runner in all of Equestria!” Dash introduced, not failing to add in her self-proclaimed title.

“Ah yes, I have heard of you believe it or not. Your loyalty and sheer need for speed have proven invaluable in the past. Tis a great honor to meet you as well,” he stated, grasping her hand in greeting. She couldn’t help but giggle at his response. The others looked at her very strangely for that elicitation. Rainbow Dash never giggled like that. Period.

“I’m Fluttershy. It’s nice to meet you, Helmuth,” she said quieter than the rest, albeit forward and direct, demonstrating her rising self-esteem and confidence. He gently grasped her hand with both of his.

“The Element of Kindness herself. Lovely to meet you, Miss Fluttershy,” he said, smiling sweetly at her. At that, she smiled back but felt very compelled to shroud her face partially in her hair; she ended up acting on that.

Helmuth knew who they were, but even so. He decided to take the initiative and be a bit more personable. Luna was even a bit impressed at this, considering he was more inwardly drawn. Then again, who was she to criticize? She was recently in the same predicament. Still, she was pleasantly surprised as to how he handled greeting each one of them.

“Once again, nice to meet all of you. I’m sure we’ll have a ton of fun on this trip that Luna forced me to accompany you all on,” he said, shooting Luna a playful glare. Luna flared her hand in her magic and conjured a teal blue balled up fist which, in turn, ‘flipped him the bird.’ Helm laughed at that; it was creative. The group decided to start loading the luggage up, but first, Luna decided to explain the mode of transportation.

“So, girls, I decided to ‘check out’ an Armored Personnel Carrier and outfit the interior with more comfortable lining. It comfortably seats ten in the back, plus all luggage can be stored under the floor plates,” Luna explained, opening up the back and showing it to the girls who were undoubtedly impressed.

“And by ‘check out’ she means ‘borrowed.’ And by ‘borrowed,’ I mean she just took it,” Helmuth quipped.

“I’ll put it back… Helm…” Luna said to him with gritted teeth.

“I’m not sure they’ll accept it back when we do take it back. You’ve been ‘secretly’ working on it for like, a month. It’s even got your cutie mark as a decal!” Helmuth pointed out.

“I can always remove it!” Luna retorted.

“I’m pretty sure most APCs in the Equestrian Military don’t have upgraded surround sound systems and a dynamic media center,” Helmuth said incredulously. Luna couldn’t argue that. The girls were finding their friendly banter quite humorous.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… know what. Screw it. It’s mine, I royally decree it, fuck you very much,” Luna said, giving up her argument.

“I’m pretty sure Seafire would be mad if that had any truth to it…” he quipped right back. Luna just glared at him, he glared right back, both of them giving off a sense of tension that made even the Elements nervous. After a good thirty seconds, both chortled and they laughed out loud.

“Har har har. Now, let’s get this in the APC,” Luna instructed. Everyone then put their own bags and necessities one by one under the floor plate. When it came time for Rarity’s bags, Luna noticed that she had about four times more than necessary.

“No… absolutely not! You are not taking all of that!” Luna stated, completely dumbfounded. Rarity looked at Luna with wide eyes. She opened her mouth to say something.

“No, you don’t need all of it,” Luna said, taking the words out of her mouth. Rarity opened her mouth again.

“No, it’s not all necessary to keep up your lady-like personality. You’re fine the way you are,” Luna finished again, crossing her arms over her chest. Rarity even tried a ‘puppy-dog’ face… complete with sad eyes and everything. Luna only hardened her stare. Finally, Rarity conceded and put several of her bags to the side, bringing only two large ones and a smaller one.

“That’s more like it. Go ahead and pack it away,” Luna said with a smile.

“You treat Seafire like that, love?” Rarity quipped over her shoulder with a smirk.

“I’m afraid not, because he doesn’t drive me insane,” she winked.

“Damn… that means I’ll have to try harder,” a voice called out from behind. Luna turned at an instant to find Seafire standing there grinning.

“Hey! Change your mind?” Luna asked as she walked into his arms.

“You know I would accompany you if I could, but work is quite busy right now. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t see you off! How long will you be gone?” he asked, placing the hands on the small of her back.

“About a week or so. Some delegation work between a few nations, nothing particularly exciting but nevertheless it must be accomplished by someone,” Luna explained less than enthusiastically. While she normally would embrace politics with open arms she really was not in the mood to do anything right now except have fun. At that moment, Helmuth walked up to the two of them.

“Everything is loaded and we’re ready to head off, Luna… Hey there, Seafire!” Helmuth spoke with a smile.

“Helmuth, my good sir!” Seafire said enthusiastically, the two of them clasping hands and shaking like good friends.

“A darn shame you won’t be able to attend, Luna’s gonna be all mopey and sad now,” he added, much to the chagrin of Luna, who was giving him a famous glare. He took that as an invitation to continue:

“I mean, you should hear her from outside her room! ‘*mock crying* Seafire…! I miss you soooo much! Baby come back…!’” he continued teasing her, Seafire laughing as well, knowing he was just joking. Luna, however, decided to smile sardonically at Helmuth.

“My dearest friend, Helm? Dost thou happen to know what it is like to be ejected at eighty miles per hour, head-first into a lake of Manticore shit?” Luna asked, reverting partially to her archaic speech.  

“Umm… not particularly…?”

“Well, it so happens that it might be thy lucky day if thou dost not ‘shut thy whore mouth,’” Luna finished with a malicious smile. Helmuth got the message and relented, only because he has been forcefully ejected out of the castle once or twice as a prank by Luna. Seafire couldn’t help but laugh at his Lunar Princess girlfriend’s antics.

“Well, I shan’t keep you all from leaving,” Seafire said with a nod before pulling Luna’s face to his in a nice few second kiss before separating.

“Have fun, my love. I’ll be in touch whenever! And Helm, take care of her, my friend!” he added. Luna nodded and hugged him once more while Helmuth saluted him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she behaves,” he said with a grin, spinning on his legs and walking back towards the APC.

“Until then, dear,” Luna said, separating and walking back, waving at him as they parted ways for the time being. Eventually, everyone was gathered.

“It bores me to stand around like this. Since everyone is ready, let’s pile in!” Luna stated, everyone entering the vehicle through the large hatch in the rear of the chassis. Luna had made sure that it would be a comfortable fit inside, as the benches and seats were lined with cushions and other lounging equipment. Helmuth climbed into the driver’s seat as everyone else got settled.

“Alright here’s the plan. I’m driving until we get outside of Ponyville and onto the main highway. Once we’re there, I’ll flip on Instinctual Auto-drive and the APC’s computer will take it from there. It’ll be a straight shot to Las Pegasus,” he explained.

“Sounds good to me, Helm. Start her up!” Luna exclaimed. The APC was brought to life and soon they were all moving at a comfortable speed, navigating through many of the newly formed street sections until they reached the city limits. Helmuth then made a left turn onto a rather large highway which continued straight into the horizon.

“Alright ladies, I’m flipping on Auto-drive… Now! Smooth ride to Las Pegasus with little traffic, I estimate about a five hour drive. Relax and enjoy the ride,” Helmuth stated as he flipped a couple switches and exited the driver’s seat, the steering wheel and pedals operating by themselves. He then joined the others inside the cabin and relaxed in a reclining position. Luna sat next to him and twisted herself so she was leaning against the edge of the chassis and her legs stretched over his.

“By the way, feel free to put on some music, as this baby has a dynamic media center. Make sure it’s good though!” Luna warned with a smile.

“AWESOME! We should listen to some pop because pop is awesome!” Pinkie responded enthusiastically. The others weren’t agreeing so much.

“Nah, pop music isn’t really ‘driving music.’ We need something that’s quick like the pace of the car. Rock usually does the trick, does it not? All in favor?” Dash queried. The others bobbed their heads in agreement, although Pinkie pouted a bit before she relented.

“Fine, you’re no fun! But I get to choose the first song!” Pinkie insisted. No one seemed to have an issue with that.

“Ah reckon that’s a fair deal since we don’ took yah first choice ‘n music outta the question,” Applejack concurred. Pinkie bounced up and down in delight, there was enough height room in the APC to apparently do that. Helmuth chuckled and remarked what a random girl she was. Pretty, but oh so random.

Pinkie keyed a few things into the Media Center’s console where there was a seemingly endless list of artists. She flicked her finger upwards, scrolling down, until she prodded it, stopping at her selection. No one could see what she was doing as she was bent over, yet she made every opportunity to try and move her ass closer to Helmuth, which he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. The others picked up on this too.

With that, Pinkie Pie prodded the console once more before the soft sound of music could be heard, getting gradually louder before a loud strumming of an electric guitar shattered the calm. Dash was pleased when she heard the note.

“Well, well, Pinks, I didn’t know you had it in you! Excellent choice!” she remarked, beginning to move in her seat to the beat.

“Quite, Darling! A wonderful song from one of my secretly favorite bands!” Rarity remarked. Apparently she hadn’t heard it in a while so she instinctually began to sing:

Bet the black comes in red, crimes of passion rule my head

I need you, you want him, dressed to kill we live in sin

Everyone turned their heads to the elegant woman, quite pleasantly surprised that she was partaking so enthusiastically. However, Pinkie wasn’t going to let her have all the fun:

Pinkie: I know the game you play, I know it well

You just keep on playin’ when all the bets are down

If anyone thought this was a bad song, they didn’t say anything. Thankfully that wasn’t the case, since everyone, including Helmuth and Luna couldn’t help but join in for the rest of the song:

All: Roulette

(Roulette!)

you’re goin’ round in a spin,

Caught up in a game you can’t win

(Roulette!)  

you’re just a fantasy

Its everything that you want it to be

Play the numbers one by one, fire the shot and the damage is done

Restless lovers pay the price, cheating hearts don’t think twice

When you make the rules no one can slow you down

You just keep ‘em waiting when you’re on the prowl

Roulette

(Roulette!)

you’re goin’ round in a spin,

Caught up in a game you can’t win

(Roulette!)  

you’re just a fantasy

Its everything that you want it to be

Rarity: Backdoor runner got away this time

Pinkie: Leaves her mark at the scene of the crime

AJ: Nothin' matters,

RD: no faces,

Shy: no names

Twi: Youre just a number, its all the same

All: You just love to play the game!

I know the game you play, I know it well

You just keep on playin when all the bets are down

Roulette

(Roulette!)

you’re goin’ round in a spin,

Caught up in a game you can’t win

(Roulette!)  

you’re just a fantasy

Its everything that you want it to be

They all applauded themselves as the song ended, giggling to themselves. Rarity was going to choose the next song so they all waited patiently. As she made her way over to the console, she gingerly brushed up against Helmuth’s leg, obtaining his attention. She merely smiled at him as she knelt down in front of the console and went to work. Luna nudged Helmuth in the side, beckoning his attention back to her. When he lightly turned to acknowledge her, she pointed with her head. He looked and found Twilight staring at him.

“Something up, Twilight?” he asked in a friendly manner. He felt a series of spasms on his legs as Luna was trying to stifle a giggle. Twilight didn’t take too kindly to being caught staring. She blushed immediately and turned away.

“N-no, nothing! What’s up with you?” she asked, attempting to rescue herself and change the subject. She had a nervous smile on her face. He looked at her with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

“Sitting here,” he pointed out. She rolled her eyes at him and he chuckled nervously. Luna was reading a book but happened to glance over. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy were talking to each other, but were very frequently glancing his way. Apparently he took no notice or didn’t care, most likely the former. Luna was observing incredulously, almost with flat out denial.

“If my interpretation of modern courting practices is still correct, there’s a very high possibility that all six of these girls have taken some kind of interest in Helmuth…”

He looked up from some papers, making accidental eye contact with Fluttershy. He smiled at her and she instantly turned away, burying her face inside her hair. He was a bit taken aback by this, fearing he did something wrong, so he looked to Applejack for confirmation. She merely shook her head and chuckled a bit, easing his fears. However, she finished her head gestures with a subtle wink. He merely smiled back and went to check on the controls. This did not go unnoticed by Luna.  

“Okay, scratch that. There is near certainty that all six of these girls are taking some sort of an interest in him. Oh dear, I think I just accidentally created some… friendly competition between them. This could prove most interesting… and hilarious,”

“AJ! I saw that!” Rainbow Dash said softly so that Helm couldn’t hear her. The same could not be said for Luna.

“Yah saw nothing and yer gonna like it,” she responded.

“Oh don’t gimme that, AJ. I saw you wink at him. No worries though, he’s definitely worth winking at,” she added with a mischievous chuckle.

“Shush, RD! He’ll hear us and it’ll be your ass, not mine!” she quietly exclaimed.

“Don’t blame me because you’re not as good of a flirter as me,” Dash responded, going straight for the ad homenim in jest.

“Just what is that supposed'ta mean?” she inquired.

“Exactly as it sounds: You suck at flirting! Isn’t that right, Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked the Pink-haired beauty sitting next to her.

“I… want no part in this,” she spoke.

“I saw you looking at him too, Shy, so don’t even try to weasel your way out of this one!” Dash said, poking her in the side. Despite as confident as she was getting over time, Fluttershy still couldn’t help but color and squee a bit.

“Dance, my puppets… dance!” Luna playfully commanded in her thoughts.

Helmuth returned to his position beside Luna, right as Rarity completed a playlist and returned to hers, brushing up subtlety against him. This time he really took notice and looked at her. Rarity only grinned slyly over her shoulder before she returned to her seat. He also noticed that Rainbow Dash, AJ, and Fluttershy were bantering amongst each other while Pinkie and Twilight were in a conversation, occasionally stealing very quick glances at him. He was starting to get uncomfortable with the unknown.

“Luna…?” he asked softly. She merely touched his shoulder.

“I know what your question and or concern is… you and I will speak privately when we arrive at our Hotel in Las Pegasus,” she replied, not looking up from her book.

“Which hotel are we going to anyway?”

“MPM Grand.”

“The MPM Grand?” he confirmed with surprise. She giggled at his response.

“Tia likes to ensure that those on diplomatic missions are well attended to. She booked everything, I had no idea where we were going until earlier today,” she added, going right back to her book. He nodded in acknowledgement before he laid his head back, resting his eyes, not before catching sight of Rainbow Dash smiling at him. He smiled back, but he was beginning to have his suspicions now that he was more aware.

This could prove to be an interesting trip.