When hooked up to an elaborate life support and life emulator, powered by aged technology and your brain itself, you want a professional working the important, lifesaving details.

Unfortunately, Twilight had to make do with an inexperienced baby dragon and an experienced pony that lacked the notable benefit of fingers.

In the best case scenario, the experienced pony teaches Spike to the best of his ability, and Spike’s years of practiced hand movements allow a more cohesive whole.

More realistically though, Spike would probably make a horrendous mistake and Sepia would not be able to act fast enough to save them.

If Twilight died because of those two, she was going to murder them. Preferably, she would murder them to death. If she died, she would kill them to death repeatedly and painfully until they learnt the bucking lesson that Twilight was going to studiously teach them.

The thought of sweet hypothetical vengeance soothed Twilight as she was filled with an overwhelming, chilling sense of her own, very fragile, mortality. As Twilight contemplated how easy it would be for her entire existence to just end at the flick of a switch in this endless white void, Pinkie Pie bounced and beamed, completely juxtaposed to Twilight’s own dread.

Then Pinkie giggled and made such an odd expression, halfway between a sneeze and a yawn, that Twilight couldn’t help but laugh with her.

Then Twilight noticed a faint leg twitch, less pronounced than a 'Pinkie sense' twitch was. Pinkie’s normal bounces were stiffer than usual, and her landings hung closer to the ground. Then there was the fact that Pinkie’s hair was ever so slightly limp.

Twilight stopped laughing and gaped when the realization hit her like one of Derpy’s deliveries. Pinkie Pie was just as terrified as she was. Pinkie Pie was giggling at the ghosties.

Twilight was filled with some deep respect for Pinkie Pie.

The awe was ruined when she realized that Pinkie’s latest bounce had landed her directly on Twilight’s horn. Twilight counted to ten before rolling her eyes skywards.

Pinkie Pie had her tongue stuck out and her eyes crossed in deep concentration. Twilight’s horn hardly felt the weight as Pinkie delicately balanced on one hoof on the very tip of Twilight’s horn.

“Pinkie…How are you doing that?” Once again Twilight skimmed over the more obvious question ‘Why are you doing that?'  Most ponies would wonder why one of their best friends would suddenly decide to perform delicate gymnastics on their face.

Twilight was not most ponies.

“Oh it’s really easy peesy ‘When life gives you lemons’ squeezy Twilight! You’ve got to really focus. You know this isn’t real, because you’re really still in the real world back with Sssepia and Ssssspike!” Pinkie gave a genuine giggle at the alliteration.

“So therefore, Twilight, this is like a dream, and you can do whatever you want as soon as you believe you’re dreaming.”

“Pinkie…Are you talking about a lucid state of recognition?” Twilight was dumbfounded.

“Yeah! Well, that’s what Dr. Tock tells me, anyways,” Pinkie grinned mischievously from atop Twilight’s head.  “I think you two smarty pantsy ponies would be really good together, once you figured out who wore the smartier pants in the relationship.”

This opinion completely distracted Twilight from even the most CERTAIN notions of death.

“I’m sorry to tell you this Pinkie,” There was a faint ‘smack’ as Twilight facehoofed hard, wobbling Pinkie’s careful balance, “But I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”

Pinkie made a vague disappointed noise, a sort of half grunt, half snort. Pinkie couldn’t apparently stick to one expression today, Twilight supposed. Pinkie’s weight shifted suddenly.

“Oh, oh, Twilight, I have the best idea ever!”

Twilight’s head bobbed slightly as Pinkie leapt gracefully into the air. Pinkie made a figure T shape in the air as she performed a perfect triple backflip, landing stylishly on only her rear hooves, forelegs horizontal at her sides.

Twilight idly scratched her head with a hoof.

“I’ve been telling you that you need to make a leap of faith, right? WELL!” Pinkie inhaled and seemed to inflate like a pink balloon,

“HOWWOULDYOULIKETOTAKEAREALACTUALleapoffaithwithactualleaping?!” Pinkie exclaimed in a single breath.

Normally, Twilight would have never understood the sudden outburst of words.

But somehow, she did understand every word.

Normally, Twilight would stare blankly, or call Pinkie Pie random, but somehow, she could understand what was being said. It was as if her body was operating as fast as her brain usually did. Nonsense had no meaning in this place.

So Twilight nodded dumbly instead.

                                                                            *-*-*

The boundless white abyss all around them, which may or may not have been vanilla in flavour, swirled around and around Twilight until she was at the top of her old library in Canterlot again. Pinkie stood behind her as Twilight hugged the spire beside her, being very careful not to look down, wheezing at the dizziness caused by the entire world spinning.

Then Pinkie did something that would have left Twilight stunned if she wasn’t already overdosed on confusion and amazement.

Pinkie jumped right over the edge.

Pinkie did a hop, a skip and a lunge, all of which easily covered the monumental distance between the library spire and the main castle minaret. Twilight hadn’t even seen Applejack do a jump half the distance of that, on flat ground, let alone one from certain death heights.

Twilight wondered why, for once, it couldn’t merely be ‘probable death’ or ‘uncertain death’.

“You gotta bellllliiiiiiiiiieeeevvvveeee Twwwiiiiiillllliiiiiiggggghhhhhht!” Pinkie yelled from across the distance.

“I DON’T WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE PIIIIIIINNNNNNKKKKIIIIIIEEEE”  Twilight shot back.

“Don’t be a sillllllyyyyy fillllyyyy Twiiiii Pieeee!” Pinkie called. “You KNOW this isn’t real! You can’t diieee inn a dreeeeaaaamm!” Pinkie sing-songed.

“It’s just a hop, a skip, a few happy thoughts and a JUMP!”

So Twilight breathed deep. She knew this wasn’t real. She could do this. She could do anything Pinkie told her she could do. This was like a really elaborate dream. Twilight took a running start.

Just as the edge loomed up, she looked down. This didn’t feel like a dream at all.

Twilight leapt…a normal, pony-sized leap. The last thing she saw, before gravity inevitably caught her in its decisive grasp, was Pinkie, shaking her head slowly.

Then, the castle flashed past her as she accelerated downwards. The ground swarmed closer and closer until finally, the impact rocked her body.

                                                                            *-*-*

Twilight shot out of the machine’s loose restraints.

This time, Twilight didn’t feel the overwhelming jarring nausea from last time. Instead, she felt as if she had woken from a long, deep sleep.

Once again, though, she felt Sepia’s surprisingly comforting hoof wrap around her as the adrenaline wore off. Sepia chuckled.

“I won the bet, Spike.  You owe me your dessert tonight!”

“Aww, no fair. I could have sworn Twilight could do it.” Spike moped.

“I told you, dragon, nopony makes the jump the first time. Nopony has, nopony will.”

Sepia sighed and handed Twilight a piece of tissue paper.

“What’s dis fohr?” Twilight was suddenly aware of her nose bleeding. She stared incredulously at the duo before her.

Pinkie was still peacefully inside her own contraption on the far side of the room.

As Twilight wiped her nose clean of the blood, Sepia grimaced.

“I don’t know why she didn’t tell you…” Sepia gave a long-suffering sigh, “But when you’re plugged in, it is like a dream. When you realize it’s a dream, truly accept it, you can do amazing things…like understand Pinkie. That right there is the scariest thing to happen, I reckon. It’s not like normal dreams though; if you get hurt in the dream, you get hurt in real life.  It’s sort of the spell matrix they use, helps keep ponies immersed in that world, if their bodies react the same in this one.”

Twilight put the pieces together.

“So if I die in that world…I die here too?” Sepia nodded.

“Please don’t tell me Nightmare is going to become involved in this…” Twilight grumbled sarcastically.

“Nightmare?” Sepia cocked an eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me you never saw those old 'Nightmare Moon on Elm Street' movies! Urgh, nopony appreciates classic horror.” Twilight grumbled.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, missy, I love those movies. Watch ‘em on those big monitors over there with whatever popcorn we can still scrounge up whenever Pinkie’s just hanging out, plugged in. She just keeps laughing at the good bits and it kills the mood, you see. You ain’t seen Nightmare boil a lake full of ponies until you see it happen on the big screen.” Sepia grinned triumphantly.

“What I meant is, what is a dear little thing like you doing watching movies like that?”

Twilight was impressed. None of her friends had appreciated classic horror like she had. Fluttershy and Rarity had flat out refused for obvious reasons, of course, but what had surprised Twilight was Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s reactions.

                                                                            *-*-*

Twilight had gotten the original movie out on crystal, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash had originally rushed headlong into the opportunity, full of their usual brash and headstrong bravado.

Movie crystals could project a movie by being given an initial amount of stored energy. By charging up the crystal with magic, the movie would split the light in the room and focus it on a wall. Some very clever unicorns in Holly Woods had figured out that by vibrating the crystal with magic, they could actually get the movies to play with sound, as well.

Applejack had originally agreed to let Twilight project the movie on one of her larger barn walls one night, and, after inviting Rainbow Dash to join them, they had made a movie night of it.

After the first two decidedly hardcore scenes, Twilight was enraptured.  It was a true masterpiece of cinematography, and the special effects were brilliant for the era. The Nightmare Moon monster was truly an amazingly frightful character, killing and attacking ponies inside their own dreams. Her friends had reacted differently however.

“Betcha I can watch it longer than you can!” Came the first fierce whisper.

“Nu-uh, you are SO going to chicken out first!” Came the equally fierce reply.

‘AAARGGHH MY LEGS! MY LEGS’

“Oh, horsehapples I think I’mma gonna puke”

‘I think…I think we lost it…I think….' the pony on screen panted before letting out a blood-curdling scream as Nightmare appeared out of nowhere behind the scared pony.

Rainbow Dash jumped and flew into the air suddenly. Her wing flair knocked the crystal off the table it was perched on with a ‘thunk’. The crystal rattled across the floor as the movie ground to a halt.

Twilight had found herself being pushed out the door and the crystal shoved into her saddlebags rather suddenly.

“Thanks Sugarcube, that was really fun, but lets never ever do that again, kay thanks bye.” Applejack slammed the barn door and whipped around to face Rainbow Dash.

“I sure as heck ain’t sleepin tonight…”

Rainbow merely shook her head numbly.

“So err…It’s awfully gusty out there…Must be awfully hard for a Pegasus to err, fly back to their cloud home in this weather…”

Rainbow just nodded, still hovering a few feet off the ground, the silence in the barn disturbed only by the quiet flapping of her wings.

“So, Sugahcube…You wouldn’t mind sleeping here tonight…Where we’re not all by our lonesomes…”

Another head shake as Rainbow softly, silently landed.

“Right then…” Applejack took a deep breath. “BIG MAC GET YOUR FLANK IN HERE NOW!” Applejack paused for thought as she shattered the silence, “AND BRING MS SMARTY PANTS WITH YA!”

                                                                            *-*-*

Spike just watched, stunned, as Twilight and Sepia talked about all the finer points of the genre. Spike had never particularly liked horror, himself, but he loved watching Sepia and Twilight talk so enthusiastically about it.

Twilight’s eyes would bulge or she’d suddenly explode in agreement as Sepia made another argument, or Sepia’s dramatic hoof gestures somehow would convey amazingly gruesome horror scenes with a few simple, sweeping movements.

So when Pinkie Pie finally gave him the signal to bring her out from her sleep, Spike had quietly gone over and pressed his finger to his lips as she awoke.

Pinkie glanced over at the ensuing dramatic re-enactments between the highly motivated pair and nodded vigorously in agreement.

After about five minutes Pinkie and Spike couldn’t hold it back anymore and let forth an epic storm of laughter.

Twilight blushed and glanced at the floor as Sepia took a step back out of surprise.

“What?” he asked, dripping with indignity.

Spike spoke up whilst Pinkie rolled around on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, but it’s hard to believe the super serious pony telling me the intricacies of lucid dreaming and artificial mind replication in spell matrixes would be holding his hooves above his head,” Spike mimicked the gesture,

still grinning, “yelling ‘Rawwwwwr’ just five minutes later!”

Pinkie just laughed even harder.

                                                                            *-*-*

After a few hurried excuses, Twilight had grabbed Pinkie and jumped back into the machine. Even though that awful squelchy, sucking feeling came back to her, it now only lasted about thirty minutes. Somehow, Twilight found it much more preferable to letting Pinkie and Spike keep laughing at her and Sepia. Judging by how fast Sepia had dragged Spike back to the terminal bank, the unicorn thought her fellow movie buff whole-heartedly agreed.

She found herself in the main streets of Ponyville. Pinkie strolled beside her, once again resplendent in shades and jacket, looking directly ahead.

“Are we back in Ponyville?”

“Nopie dopie, this is a replica Sepia knocked up for when he gets really bored. The buildings, the people, they’re all the same, but they can’t see us, they don’t notice us. We’re like spookie ghosts, but we giggle at ourselves! Anyway, Sepia made this because sometimes he likes to simulate monster attacks! I swear, when he pulled me out that time Spike had a massive greed-spurt I swore he’d been drooling a little!”

“Pinkie, that’s not funny! Somepony could have been seriously hurt!” Twilight was aghast.

“Well that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. The Maretrix was designed to keep ponykind alive and useful. What sort of system would that be if ponies were allowed to get hurt willy-nilly?

The Maretrix is sort of powered by a kind of magical chaos which keeps every pony safe no matter HOW unlikely!”

“Well if the not-real-world is so good why do we want to take ponies out of it? Wouldn’t I have been happier if I took the blue muffin?”

‘Why ME?’ Twilight added mentally.

“Because it isn’t real Twilight! We can’t make the real-real world a better place without these ponies. Most of them aren’t willing to actually go about finding the truth though, yet. We’re looking for a special pony, Twilight, one that will save the real world. A thousand years the Spell Matrix has run...ever since Nightmare Moon defeated Princess Celestia.”

Twilight found that she could still be surprised after all, and she didn’t like that one bit.

‘The Truth Hurts’ suddenly reared up at the back of her mind with its full force, suddenly shutting out Pinkie Pie for a moment.  Her gaze pointed to a particular stallion walking through the crowd towards her.

As Pinkie started to babble in her ear, Twilight gaped at the approaching stallion. It was undoubtedly Sepia Tock, the beige earth pony with the hourglass cutie mark.  There was no question in Twilight's mind.

So why was he wearing a bright red dress?

Something told Twilight that Spike had decided to play a mean joke on him. As Twilight started giggling, the ridiculous pony passed.

“HEY!” Pinkie exclaimed in her ear. As Curiosity once again wrestled Truth Hurts into the abyss, Twilight herself snapped her attention back in front of her to Pinkie Pie.

“Were you paying attention to me or were you staring at the Sepia in the red dress?”

Twilight grinned guiltily.

“Well Twilight…OH NO! TWILIGHT LOOK OUT!” Pinkie suddenly exclaimed.

Twilight snapped her attention back behind her. Where the ridiculous Tock had once been was now one of the Guard ponies she had seen before.

It was reared back and coiled, a snarl behind the glasses and top hat getup, as it sneered at her.

Suddenly it bucked out with speed no-pony was capable of and aimed with its rear hooves directly at Twilight’s throat.