“Can’t I just have both?”

Twilight was not having a normal day. Twilight was in fact having the least normal day of her life, which was really saying something when living in a place like Ponyville.

For some reason all the random occurrences, and the Guards, all seemed to revolve around Pinkie (AKA the Pink Party Pony AKA the Fugitive) for some strange incomprehensible reason. The one and only pony was standing in front of her right now offering her baked goods in the face of a kidnapping and eventual rescue. Well you can’t be unhappy with baked goods at least. It’s a proven fact.

Twilight reached for both. They both smelled heavenly, the sugary aroma causing Twilights stomach to gurgle in protest, Pinkie’s baking skills were legendary.

“OooOOooh, why didn’t I think of that?” Pinkie gasped. “But I’m afraid you can only take one”.

“But…I’m hungry…I’ve been through so much today, Pinkie, but none of it was lunch!”

Pinkie giggled again. “But these aren’t normal baked goods! If you take the blue one, you wake up in your bed. The guards stop following you around, the meanie beanie fo-feanies, and you don’t remember any of this”

Twilight groaned and started reaching for the blue one. Forgetting today sounded like a very, very good idea. The only catch would be explaining crop rotation to Applejack all over again.

Twilight suddenly snapped her attention to the red one. There were worse things than monochromatic evil after all.

“Oh goodie, Twilight, I was hoping you’d wait for the second one. If you take the RED cupcake, I show you how deep this thing goes, it’s all very craAazy you see, and you get some answers. All the answers I can give you. I even get to give you a room MADE of answers!”

Twilight paused for all of a picosecond to give some thought to actually getting some answers, finally, about today.

Then the delicious cupcake was gone as Twilight plunged muzzle first onto Pinkie’s outstretched hoof. Loud chomping sounds were her only reply to the prospect of some actual answers.

Pinkie’s face stayed in a small, tight grin. She nonchalantly kicked open the door behind her and went through the now open doorway, beckoning Twilight to follow. Twilight obliged. She rounded a corner to find Spike sitting in a room that looked almost exactly like her lab. The similarities stopped right about the same time the candy began.

Pinkies strange lab was made entirely out of what looked like pastries and candies. The sticky floor caused her hooves to make a small ‘Splick’ with each step. Okay, it was official; Twilight wanted the answers to begin before she had any more questions to ask. This was all just far too strange.

Pinkie anticipated Twilights confusion. It might have had something to do with another “twang” from her mane. Somewhere, for reasons Rarity couldn’t explain, the white unicorn shed a single tear.

“Twilight, you’ve got to take another leap of faith…Well this one’s more of a leap than a walk, so it should be that much easier…”

Spike just had a long suffering look on his face. Shaking his head he muttered to himself. Twilight swore she heard something along the lines of “Why did that mailmare have to eat the blue one…”

Pinkie shot Spike a Look. Spike sighed and pressed a few chocolate buttons on the console in front of him, just like he was told to do. A candy-cane bookcase on the back wall rotated around revealing a mysterious mirror. Nothing about the mirror itself was strange or odd, though, what made it so mysterious was the fact that it was so normal. Why would Pinkie have such an elaborate way of hiding such a completely ordinary piece of framed glass?

Twilight turned to Pinkie. She had somehow donned a full air flight traffic control uniform whilst her back was turned and was waving expectantly at the mirror.

Is this what she meant by a walk of faith? Was she supposed to walk into the mirror?

“I mean, I’ve seen Pinkie on the other side of the dressing room mirror that one time but”- Twilight’s inner monologue was interrupted by that realization.

Twilight stopped and gaped at Pinkie. She just nodded furiously as if her head was on a tightly wound spring.

Twilight nodded back once. Her resolve was steeled; she walked purposefully one step, two steps, three steps towards the mirror. She finally reached it. She took a deep breath and-

Bump. Ow.

Twilights muzzle bumped against the cool smooth glass. That hurt a lot.

Twilight turned and glared at Pinkie. The Manehatten project alive and well in that icy gaze once more.

Pinkie, for her part, just rolled around on the flaw guffawing.

“Hahaha, Twilight I can’t believe you FELL for that one! You can’t go through normal mirrors YET! I haven’t even turned it ON yet!” Pinkie regained some composure, what little of it there was to regain, before turning back to Spike. “You’ve got to push the egg looking one in now!”

Spike, covering his mouth with a claw trying not to laugh, complied. The mirror was coated in a thick, dark, chocolaty substance.  The previously smooth glossy surface was now rippled and bumpy as what appeared to be milk chocolate rippled across the surface. Pinkie nodded to Twilight again. Twilight in turn sighed and pressed a hoof to the glass this time, just to be safe.

The chocolate rolled up her hoof, slowly at first but steadily gaining in speed. Twilight tried to scream but it rolled into her mouth and down her throat, blocking it out. The chocolate tasted like Pinkie had forgotten to take the metal wrapper off. Her last conscious thoughts were ‘This tastes funny, not ha-ha funny but weird funny’. Then the runny oozy chocolate hardened and solidified into Twilight shaped candy.

Spike looked on in abject horror as Pinkie broke off a chunk at the end of Twilights tail and took a large bite; the Twi-colate shattered.

Pinkie turned and smiled beatifically at Spike.

“It’s your turn now Spikey-Wikey, but you can’t go THAT way. SoOo I’m going to teach you a new trick!”

Pinkie scooped up a bit of the remaining Twi-colate and rammed it into Spikes mouth.

“Now, instead of sending a message you’re going to be sending yourself! Keep the chocolate in your mouth and then pretend your tail is just a big fat, scroll!”

*-*-*

Twilight gasped as she awoke. She was suspended in what appeared to be creamy caramel. The sugary stench was all around her. She swam up through the sticky liquid and broke out of what appeared to be a brightly painted multi-coloured chocolate egg.

The egg was suspended on a gigantic tower, about halfway; one of many that stretched all around her in what appeared to be a brightly coloured farm silo. Bright magical energy loudly crackled up and down the pods, the only visible light source she could find.

Oh the things this awful, sticky substance would do to her mane! Her tail! She glanced back at herself, now that she could breathe, as if to confirm the damage. She was completely bald! She looked like a plucked chicken!

Somewhere, somehow, Rarity collapsed to the ground shuddering in the middle of berating Sweetie Belle for stealing her donuts. Sweetie Belle, not to look a giftpony in the mouth, trotted off with the rest of the box whistling a tune, an impressive feat for a pony indeed, not that Rarity was in a state to appreciate it.

Twilight’s literal and figurative outburst had caught the attention of what appeared to be a polished steel cockatrice. It slithered up to the shattered egg that contained her.

The cockatrice wrapped itself around her, constricting her. It reared it’s polished head up glaring directly into her eyes. It then nodded, as if to itself, and dropped her back into the caramel. The bottom of the egg shattered to the sound of a loud ‘Bacawk’ from the Cockatrice.

Twilight went down what had to have been the stickiest water slide in existence before splashing into what could only be described as a melting pot of soft, creamy nougat. She was coated in the sickly sweet stench of sugar even more than she had earlier thought possible. Twilight tried to swim in it as felt the prickling sugar burning and itching against her bare skin.

Suddenly a bright disco light sliced into existence above her to the blaring of carnival music and a three pronged claw dropped out right next to her.

A disembodied voice, amidst a crackle of static, called out to her. “I’m sorry, I don’t have another coin, and I was never good at this thing, it’s Pinkie that’s good with the Carnival Game stuff…She’s just woken up, I’ll go get her.”

The disembodied stallions voice, for it could only have been male, was bizarre to Twilights buzzing ears.

Also, she wished it had made any sense to her at all.

The static filled, crackling voice returned, except this time it was female and far more familiar.

“Hey Twilight, I’m back, so you don’t need to worry, just sit right there and I’ll grab you in a jiffy! Not like you can do anything else anyway!” The voice giggled at its own joke.

Twilight was filled with happiness along with itchiness. Pinkie Pie was here, she’d make sense of everything!

“Oh Celestia, did I really just think that?”

The claw dropped down and grabbed Twilight, plucking her from the abyss.

The bald unicorn was unceremoniously plucked into the bilge of what looked like a metal pirate ship. A beige earthpony with an hourglass cutie mark stood to her left and Pinkie pie, resplendent in a shiny jacket and what looked like Rainbow Dash’s shades, stood to her right.

“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie gushed “Welcome to the NeverForever!”

       *-*-*

Now, some notes: I haven't been able to fix up the first chapter because my edit function, like my comment function, is broken I don't know how, why or what I'm going to do about it. This is why the first chapter looks so rushed.

I will fix any and all specific problems submitted in the comments, however, though I cannot reply.

Note: 2 stars? Come on, if you're going to vote that low at least give me some explanation guys, I'm heartbroken