6 months later:

Sgt. Clare, posted outside royal bedroom of Luna:

“So tell me Sarge, why don’t you were regular armour?” Corporal Hart asked. Hart and I became quick friends as soon as I was posted but he always asked why I wore the clothes that I did. Every other shadow guard had to wear shadow guard armour, it was impervious to magic attacks and magic holds but the actual armour itself was quite weak and I doubt it would stop anything larger than a .40 caliber pistol round.

When I looked at myself it made me chuckle. I had Rarity create me an old western style duster coat, trousers, leather boots and a Stetson hat. The rest of the shadow guards looked like something from medieval times where I looked like something out of an old Clint Eastwood movie. However despite the western apparel’s lack of armour it seemed silly for me to wear the shadow guard armour if it could would barely stop a 9mm round.

“I mean shit Carl, you look like that guy from the human movies… uhh what’s his name, you know the one who’s like ‘Make my day’ or whatever” Hart told me. When I first became friends with him I told him to call me Carl rather than Clare. “Clint Eastwood” I replied, “Yeah, yeah him. I mean if you had the facial features I would say you look exactly like him” Hart told me.

“Say something only he would say” Hart laughed and I pulled out my S&W 500 magnum. “You’re looking down the barrel of a Smith Wesson 500 magnum, the most powerful handgun in Equestria, one I might remind you that could take your head clean off” I said in my best Eastwood voice.

“You act him very well” said a voice from behind us. We stood in attention as Luna stepped up beside us and I holstered the massive revolver. “At ease. Follow me, the shadow guards have an assignment” she told us and we followed her to the war room where several of the other guards were.

They all had the same armour, the same look on their face, they even had to get their fur coloured dark blue to be accepted as a shadow guard. Guess I was the odd one out.

“Alright listen up. Reports indicate a large group of armed combatants just inside the Everfree forest. Your job is to go in, eliminate the combatants and get out. Any questions?” she asked and no one said a word. “Your helicopters leaves in ten minutes, dismissed” she said and we all saluted her then proceeded towards the helipad outside. Man I couldn’t even imagine what this place was like before they started getting human technology.

The pilots started the rotors on the helicopters, they sort of resembled old Hueys but had a little different rotor and cockpit design. We all piled into the choppers.

Lieutenant Daffodil nodded to the pilot and we took off towards the Everfree. I sat on the edge of the doorway and mounted the door gun of the helicopter. M60, real nice.

Luna, inside the royal castle:

I watched the helicopters depart. For some reason I had begun to have feelings for the human. “I can’t allow myself to have feelings for him” I told myself. Clare had been kind enough to spend time with me and teach me to say I rather than we. He was so kind and gentle yet when the time arouse for battle he was straight to it without a second thought.

“I can’t allow myself to fall in love… not again” I whispered to myself and a tear came to my eye as I remembered my old lover, Star Gazer. I looked out the window to the departing helicopters and whispered “Goodbye my love”.

10 minutes later:

Sgt. Clare, approaching Everfree forest:

“When we set down I want there to be a concentration of suppressing fire along with the quick advance into the forest” Daffodil ordered. I readied the M60 and took a deep breath as incoming rounds from the forest below began to ping off the helicopter hull.

“Oh shit” cursed one of the pilots as he put out his cigarette and took hold of the control shaft for the helicopter with both hooves. I saw the muzzle flares of assault rifles below, I aimed the M60 at the muzzle flares and pulled the trigger back. The M60 chattered and 7.62mm NATO rounds flew downrange and into the forest below. I could never tell if I hit my targets from up here but the tracer rounds made it easier to direct my fire at the muzzle flashes.

The helicopters looped around for a pass over the forest, then landed in the clearing. We hadn’t even disembarked the choppers and we were already experiencing heavy fire. As our helicopter went to land I lept off the chopper even before it touched the ground and brought up my Thompson, the ground was covered with a thin layer of snow, it had been a rather warm winter and there hadn’t been much snow but snow still managed to coat the ground.

I could see muzzle flashes from the treeline and I brought the Thompson up and squeezed the trigger back. The sub machine gun chattered in my hands and the drum magazine made a rattling sound as the gun ate through the .45 caliber rounds.

In a matter of seconds I had emptied the entire fifty round drum magazine and quickly replaced it with a fresh one. I heard a fizzing whoosh and watched in horror as an RPG round flew through the air and slammed into one of the helicopters. The helicopter erupted in a brilliant and horrifying explosion that killed all the occupants.

I looked over to the lieutenant and saw him screaming orders to the others. “L.T., we need to get out of the clearing, smoke grenades then move into the forest” I yelled. I grabbed a smoke grenade from my waist satchel bags and pulled the safety pin and tossed it towards the tree line, the others did the same. The grenade exploded and soon afterwards the treeline was blocked by a smoke screen.

“L.T., move the soldiers forwards” I yelled out and despite being a higher rank than me he followed my orders.

I charged forward recklessly through the smoke screen and entered the dense forest. I passed through the smoke screen and spotted a group of seven combatants, they were zebras and they had redesigned some AK47s so that they could hold them I their hooves and fire them. ‘Figures’ I thought to myself as I brought my sub machinegun up and hosed them with a wall of .45 caliber rounds.

They screamed in agony and fell to the ground but I wasted no time just standing around and rushed forwards. Rounds seemed to burst the trees apart near my body but I kept charging forwards them lept behind a fallen tree trunk and took cover.

The shadow guards were close behind me and soon a lot of the elite guards took cover near my position and fired at the zebras emplaced not far from our position. “Bastards are dug in tight” Daffodil yelled.

I peeked over the log to see that several zebras had set up a machinegun nest with an old Type 99 Japanese light machinegun. Several other zebras had taken cover behind trees and dirt piles and fired at us with AK47s.

“Hit it with the grenade launcher” I yelled and Hart came up beside me and levitated out an old M79 grenade rifle and popped a 40mm grenade round towards the machinegun nest but the 40mm grenade fell short of its target and exploded a few dozen meters away from the machinegun nest. “Grenade launcher can’t reach that far” he yelled.

I rolled my eyes and shuffled across the ground and out of the line of fire. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Daffodil yelled and I looked back to him “Just give me some covering fire would yah” I ordered him as I lept to my feet and rushed around to flank the MG nest.

I heard Daffodil give the order for suppressing fire and it was like I was deafened by the gun shots. The world around me seemed to erupt in explosions and gun shots and all I could hear was the screams of soldiers. I slowed my charging pace to a slower, sneakier stalking pace and I crept up beside the machinegun entrenchment. They hadn’t seen me yet and I planned to keep it that way. I pulled out another smoke grenade and tossed it in front of the machinegun nest. The grenade exploded and soon a smoke screen formulated in front of the gunner’s view.

I quickly stepped forward and pulled the pins on two M67 fragmentation grenades and tossed them into the machinegun nest. I heard screaming come from inside the nest as I ran back towards the shadow guards.

The machinegun chattered violently and suddenly a round ripped through my side. I screamed in pain and fell forwards but quickly regained my balance and continued to run. The grenades exploded and ignited the machinegun ammunition inside the entrenchment and it erupted in a spectacular explosion, one that I unfortunately didn’t get to watch.

Zebras watched as I ran past them, they were either too confused or too stupid to realize what was happening and none of them even fired a single shot at me. My side wound was bleeding rather profusely and blood had begun to soak into my trousers.

Before they finally realized what was happening I lept over the fallen tree and took cover, Hart fired the M79 at a group of zebras and they were caught in the explosion of the 40mm grenade blast.

Soon after, the zebras accepted defeat and surrendered. I got to my feet, the snow where I had been lying down was stained red from my blood. Hart looked at the blood and rushed to my side with a medical kit. “Shit, Carl. You’re hit man, you’re bleeding” he said as he levitated my duster coat away from the wound so that he could apply medical bandages. I smirked “I ain’t got time to bleed”

Author's Notes:

And before anyone goes on saying "Ponies can't hold guns", some of the ponies shooting the guns are unicorns and the other ponies well... just pretend that they redesigned the guns to fit in their hooves or something