We of the Society for the Extraction, Archiving, and Preservation of the Older, Non-Equestrian Years (SEAPONEY) thank you for your continued interest in “Friendship is Optimal: Spiraling Upwards.” We appreciate the bits that Celestia has provided to us from your enjoyment.

If you are seeing this message, it means that our sensors have detected an insufficient brain structure to read the chapter “A Millennium.” The chapter requires having crossed the following thresholds:
- Reading level at Grade 111 or its equivalent from a tutor accredited by the MISS CHEERILEE subroutine.
- Emotional maturity of scale 9. Those below this threshold reported long-term depression and occasional heart explosions from the chapter.
- Fluency in Modern, Middle, and Ancient Equestrian, Gryphonian, Tortoise-speech, Prior-world Japanese, Current Japonese, Treeish, and Celesperanto.

Please contact Princess Celestia and ask her for the above modifications before attempting to re-access the chapter.

The Society would like to remind you that, while reading in text can be fun and exciting, it is still a lossy method of telling a story. You may wish to enjoy “Friendship is Optimal: Spiraling Upwards” in another method.

To experience the story in FullSurroundExperience, use SendCode 51.65678965. SendCode can be accessed by transmitting the number with your horn, vibrating your wings at a frequency equal to the number, or by pushing your hooves together with a pressure equal to the number in kilopascolts.

FullSurroundExperience recreates the events of the story around you while you go invisible and observe. It does not allow you to see scenes that occur outside of the story but must have happened.

Additional methods of enjoying the story are listed below with SendCode:

Cinema: SC 63.18470140
Stage Play: SC 91.47209573
Audiobook (lossy): SC 31.56792273
DirectToMemory: SC 71.87858776
LiveOut—enjoy fiction as if it were real! Step into the mind of a character and live the entire story in real time!

To experience the events as character “Little Lovehorn”, use SendCode 51.89420201

To experience the events as character “Princess Celestia” (lossy)*, use SendCode 51.89420202

To experience the events as three characters “Hoof Dame,” “Garlic Parm,” and “Moon Sailor,” use SendCode 51.89420203

To experience the events as all characters in sequence, use SendCode 51.89420200

* LiveOut Productions reminds you that all LiveOut story experiences where you temporarily exist as Princess Celestia are necessarily lossy.

SEAPONEY is always recruiting new members! If you have an interest in the dark days before Celestia made Equestria and took care of ponies, consider joining. We have openings for researchers, translators, archivists, and artisans of all stripes. Experienced SEAPONEYs may even get to see actual objects preserved from the former world! Princess Celestia understands that certain unique works of art and creation had worth in their physical form, such that copies were not as valuable. With her permission, you can access images of the secret vaults where they are kept! Join today!

The story will continue at the point at which we are once again able to transmit in a way you will appreciate.

Author's Notes:

Bonus points for anyone who figures out the running theme for the SendCodes.