Dear Princess Celestia,

This here’s Applejack. The girls picked me to write this letter. I tried tellin’ ‘em I ain’t no poet, but they insisted that what needs to be said had more to do with Honesty than Laughter, Kindness, or Loyalty. Pinkie Pie ain’t herself since we saw what’s goin’ on. Every time it comes up, all she can say is “There’s nothing funny about this, and there won’t be, and there can’t be.” This might be the one thing I ever saw that she couldn’t or wouldn’t crack a joke about. Fluttershy told me she ain’t got a single kind word to say about all this. That filly stood hoof to hoof with Discord and smiled like he weren’t nothin’ more’n a wayward bunny rabbit, and she can’t find anything kind here. And Rainbow Dash just sits there broodin’. She don’t practice her tricks, she don’t go off ‘bout the Wonderbolts - nothin’ at all. She can’t outfly this and she can’t take it on with her bare hooves, and it’s killin’ the mare. So it’s down to me. This ain’t easy for me to write, Princess, and it ain’t gonna be easy for you to hear.

Y’all are usin’ Rarity. It ain’t right, it ain’t honest, and it ain’t fair to her, and to Luna and Twilight, and darn sure not to you. Rarity’s a fine mare, Princess. She’s gorgeous mane to tail, and she’d give her last bit to help a total stranger even if nopony ever knew it was her doin’ the givin’. But she ain’t Twilight Sparkle. She ain’t your student or your pupil or your surrogate daughter.

We all see how you look at Twilight - that’s more’n teacher to student, sugarcube. We saw it at the Gala, and after we came back from the Crystal Empire, and every time you dropped by Ponyville. Now, I ain’t the most perceptive o’ ponies - Dash keeps sayin’ I can’t even see past my hat - but even I picked up on this. Twilight don’t know it but we saw some o’ the letters you sent her - she was showin’ us a stack of ‘em one night but I think Spike mighta mis-filed a few - and I don’t mean the ones about friendship and harmony and studyin’ magic.

It’s damn shameful, Princess. I know what I’m riskin’, puttin’ all this in my own hoof-writin’, but it’s gotta be said. Twi and Princess Luna are happy together. Not just friends, mind you, they’re in love with a capital “L”. Luna’s smitten with Twilight like a schoolfilly who just heard the captain of the hoofball team wants to ask her to the prom. And Twi fell completely head-over-hooves for Luna. I mean, Luna’s all she talks about, in a rainbows-and-butterflies sort of way.

Back in the day, Princess, Luna wanted what you had. Twilight says you never confronted her, never told her to speak her mind, you just let her stew and fester and the hurt got worse and worse. Everypony knows what happened afterwards. It’s like a case o’ Root Rot - once it takes, ignorin’ it ain’t gonna make it go away, and pretty soon the whole orchard’s gone to Tartarus. So I hope you can understand what we’re tryin’ to do and say here, Princess. We gotta get this out in the open, maybe shine a light on what and why this is goin’ on.

You and we all know that Rarity’s got a heckuva weakness for Royalty, Canterlot, high society, and the whole highfalutin’ life. You’re all o’ that, Princess, and more. There ain’t no way Rarity would turn you down. But like I said, she ain’t Twilight. No matter how close you two get, or already got, we still see you glance over at Twi. I seen that longin’ look before, in friends, and other ponies, and yep, even in my mirror. Princess, that look in your eyes - well, it ain’t gonna come to no good.

If we can see this, Princess Celestia, the other ponies can too. Twilight might be more oblivious that me, if that’s possible, but she’s a smart filly - when she sees what’s happenin’, we’ll all be lucky if Canterlot’s left standin’. It’s gonna come out, and when it does, Discord’ll be laughin’ at the lot of us from inside his little statue, ‘cause there ain’t no way even his stinkin’ twisted brain could out-do the storm we’ll all have to weather. Think about the Elements, if it helps, ‘cause they ain’t gonna do much good if the six of us are left lyin’ in pieces. Talk to any of us, or to all of us, or somepony, anypony, if it’ll do some good. Just please, Princess, whatever you do, for the love o’ all that’s good and right and holy, don’t do this. Be happy for Twi, and be happy for your sister, but please don’t make Rarity your stand-in for Twilight.

Yours,

Applejack Apple

Author's Notes:

TMP Prompt # 193. The Prompt: “Dear Princess Celestia…”

The line "all she talks about, in a rainbows-and-butterflies sort of way" is from Mass Effect (if a male Shepherd is romancing Tali and talks to Kasumi Goto).