Not very many ponies know who I am. Most know me as Derpy Hooves; even though that isn’t my real name (It’s Ditzy Doo by the way). Most know me as the muffin-loving mail carrier of Ponyville. Most know I’m the mother of Dinky Doo, whom I love very much.

It’s alright that I’m those things, and most ponies don’t really have any problem with them. Unfortunately, my flaws stand out quite a bit more than any of my other features. I also happen to be known as Derpy Hooves, that clumsy Pegasus with a cross-eye.

Something that many don’t know about me is that I have a habit of crying myself to sleep every night. I think only Dinky Doo knows about that. My life hasn’t been as good as I would like. I know I should be happier, I mean, I have a beautiful daughter and a stable job, and some really good friends…

But I see them. Every day. The ponies who stare. Who avoid eye contact, probably because they don’t know where to look. The ones who laugh at me, or simply shake their heads when I screw something up. Some aren’t even subtle about it either. In flight school (which I failed miserably), there was this colt, Hoops. He’d tease me, cross his eyes and say, “Duh,” to make his friends laugh. If I tried to ignore him, he’d just hit me so I would ‘pay attention’. A few times, Rainbow Dash would swoop in and try to save the day, only to get made fun of and hit like I did. She was my only real friend during flight school. I liked her more than anypony else, even more than my parents.

I’d talk about my parents, but it hurts too much. Let’s just say Hoops wasn’t the only one who found some joy in hitting me.

Something else many don’t know about me is that I… Uh… I fly with mares, not stallions. Dinky Doo is the best thing in my entire life, but she was only conceived because I was weak.

There was this colt, Zephyr, who got a little too rowdy one night, and I happened to be the closest living thing with holes in it. His roommate, Omnius I think, didn’t do anything to stop him. Afterwards, I was told if I told anypony what happened, I’d regret it. After Dinky was born, Zephyr high-winged it out of Cloudsdale, and nopony has heard from him since.

I’m aware of a few couples who are open to the public about their lifestyle, like Lyra and Bon-Bon, or Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. I guess they’re all better ponies than me… I’m terrified of coming out. I know for a fact that Lyra and Bon-Bon both get a lot of flak, and when Octavia’s musical career and reputation was nearly ruined when she and Vinyl Scratch came out.

I will have to tell somepony eventually. I’m in love, and if I don’t tell anypony about it soon, I’m sure I’m going to blurt it out to her. Every time I’m with her, I just want to scream it out:

“I love you Carrot Top!”

Gosh, it felt good saying it in my head. I’m scared to tell her, because I can’t be sure that she is even of my ‘persuasion’. I was thinking about asking Bon-Bon to do some sleuthing for me, but I barely know her. It’d make my life that much better if I even had any kind of shot with her. Celestia, how I love that pony. I adore everything about her. I fell for her when I made a delivery to her, and I almost broke my head open on her fence. When I woke up, her beautiful green eyes were staring into mine. She had brought me into her house and bandaged me up, and I didn’t even know who she was. We got to be good friends, and she never laughed at me if I fell down (well, she did, but only when I laughed too), or when I screwed something up. She treats me how I always wanted to be treated. She’s my best friend.

I’m also worried about the repercussions to Dinky. She has her whole life ahead of her, and I’m fairly certain she isn’t anything like me. She isn’t clumsy or cross-eyed. She recently told me that she likes a boy in her class, so she isn’t like me in that respect. I’m afraid that it’ll confuse her, and upset her. If what I really am gets around, I’m sure her classmates will find out somehow, and I don’t want her to have to deal with another Hoops. It wouldn’t be fair to her if my problems affected her that way…

Also, I don’t really like muffins all that much. They just sounded good that one time.

Written in 17 minutes on a Saturday night. So proud of myself.

Just a quick little thing that I wanted to write, so don't be shocked if it's not very good.

The story pic is not mine, I didn't ask for permission (SUE HIM!), but it's by DantonDanmark on DevArt. Please don't hurt me.

Look out for a Trixie fic at some point in the near future.