The Lord of Chaos opened his eyes, his vision blurring in and out.  With a snap of his fingers, his eyes refocused, but that was all he managed.  He’d just used the last shred of his magic to survive the impact.  He couldn’t get rid of the pounding in his head, he couldn’t repair any of his lacerated organs, and he certainly couldn’t repair the shattered bones in his skeleton.  He could do something else, but it’d be the coward’s way, he knew that.  Best to save that for a far more desperate situation.

He managed to sit up, but with a cringe, decided that lying down might be a better choice for the moment.  His eyes scanned around, his neck screaming with the effort it took to swivel his head about.  He was lying in the middle of a hole, surrounded by flames and rocks and assorted forest detritus.  No wait, not a hole.  Holes didn’t have scorch marks running along their walls.  This was a crater, and he was at its center.  “Hoboy, I certainly hit with quite a bit of force, didn’t I?”  He sighed, mumbling to himself.  He managed a painful, broken-tooth filled smile.  It was a miracle he’d had the magical power left to survive.  Not many beings would have.

Grinning with pride, his gaze turned upwards, and immediately the smile evaporated.  Just about a mile overhead, he could see the figure of a man in the dark trench coat and sinister cap, complete with jet-black boots.  “Mars,” he realized.  “He’s here too, but where’s…”

His eyes worked their way around the crater again, this time focusing on the trees standing just beyond its edge.  As he suspected, the enemy army had him completely surrounded.  Sure, to the unobservant the forest was empty, but even in his weakened state Discord could see the glint off an assault rifle’s barrel here, the dark patch in the bushes that could only be the sleeve of an enemy’s uniform there.  “Well, there’s nothing for it then,” he sighed again, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to wait for the final blow.

And he waited.

And he waited.

Something wasn’t right.  Mars could have killed him a thousand times over by now.  Hell, at this point the regular drones probably could have finished him.  So why hadn’t they?  In fact, why hadn’t Mars killed him in his sleep?  It would be the tactically sound thing to do.  And why was every soldier focused on his crater?  Surely Mars was more than enough to keep an eye on him.

Unless…

Oh shit…

He wasn’t the target here.  He was the bait.  Oh fuck, this was exactly why he’d blocked the Princesses off from the nether!  He just knew someone would get taken, and one of them would have to make a decision they really weren’t ready to make!  And it wound up being him!?  Stupid!  Why did he think this plan would go off without a hitch!?  Why did he seriously believe something would go right this day!?

A low hum began to fill his ears, and his heart filled with dread.  It was the sound of something approaching at hypersonic speeds.  And in this world, that could mean only one thing.  Some stupid, gullible, idiotic excuse for a semi-omnipotent being was blundering right into the enemy’s trap.  He watched as Mars ascended to some higher altitude, far from the detection of any being he could think of.  He could have sworn he could see a grin on the bastard’s face.  The entire forest grew quiet, as if every living creature was holding their breath in anticipation.

‘So, who’s it gonna be?’  He wondered. ‘Which of the Swarm siblings gets it on my account?  The Kraut?  The Yank?  Or hell, maybe that Beaner with the kangaroo fetish…’

His gaze happened upon a white streak somewhere in the distance, just above the tree line, and his heart sank even lower.  “No,” he gasped.  “NO!”  He tried to lift his head again, but the pain shooting through his body was far too much.  

“Of course it’s you,” he sobbed, lying hopelessly there in the dirt and charred rock. “Of course it’s you, you stupid pony princess.  I should’ve known, you stupid…wonderful…beautiful…”

But then, he was the one who told her how he felt.  He was the one that just HAD to go out in style, with a stupid little one-liner and a kiss from the lady.  He just HAD to, thus ensuring she’d rush to his side at the first sign of trouble.  So who was the real idiot here?

“Me,” he sniffled as she rushed to his side, panic in her eyes.  “Always me.”  

Celestia wrapped her hooves around his shoulders and started screaming something he couldn’t hear.  Possibly because of the adrenaline coursing through his body.  Possibly because his eardrums had been blasted to bits at this point.  Likely because of his absolute focus on what he had to do.  “Celestia?”  He asked after a while of her babbling.

“Discord?”  She replied, and somehow that time her voice was crystal-clear.

“Shut up,” he said before surprising her with a kiss yet again.  This one was even more passionate than the last, probably because he knew it might be the last thing he ever did.  He gripped the side of her neck, supporting himself to lean in close in spite of the pain screaming through his body, but he knew he had to sit up.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to see what he needed to.

A glint of silver appeared in the sky, right where Mars had disappeared, and the Lord of Chaos reacted.  With one last burst of strength, he shoved the Princess aside, using the sheer surprise of his move to roll Celestia over and force her under his body, just in time to block the metal spire rocketing down at them from out of the sky.  He felt it enter him, bouncing off his carefully-positioned spine (or what was left of it) to redirect it just a few millimeters to the left before exiting his body, ensuring it only scratched the side of her flank.  He yelped, groaned, and shook; completely paralyzed, completely unable to move for fear that his body would just collapse on top of her like a house of cards built on the San Andreas Fault.

“Discord?”  She asked, eyes widening in shock.

He opened his mouth, started to say something: some last, witty one-liner to make for a decent epitaph, but all that came out was another torrent of blood, dribbling onto Celestia’s perfect white coat.

Next Chapter: Chapter XXX: Unleashed Estimated time remaining: 44 Minutes