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Swarm's War: The Equestrian Front

by kildeez

Chapters

Chapter I: Introductions All Around

Fluttershy’s massive, bright-blue eyes were about to pop out of her skull. It’s impossible, she thought, no creature like that exists, not even in the Everfree Forest!

And yet, there it was: two legs, dressed in some sort of pants colored to blend in with the rest of the forest, were tucked beneath the body.  Two arms sprouted from an elongated torso, also clad in the strangely-colored cloth.  A head, covered in some hard, black, outer shell, topped it all off.  Beyond that, she couldn’t see much.  It was all wrapped in some green cloth and rope, twisted around the creature’s body.  It was bipedal, she could see that much, but with that casing on its head, how did it talk?  Or eat?  Or hear?  

It stirred with a mild grunt, and she jumped back with a slight “Eep!”  But the creature settled again, one of its hands subconsciously gripping the grass by its side and pulling.  It’s strong, she realized as she watched it pull, stronger than me, maybe even stronger than Applejack!  This was too much.  Something that ridiculously strong had to be dangerous.  She had to leave, maybe find Rainbow Dash; surely she would know what to…

The creature stirredwith a low moan, and she jumped back again.  But this time, the moan was different.  It seemed…pained.  Yes, that was the word, pained.  Something had happened to the creature: it wasn’t just sleeping, it was hurt!  She bit her lip in fear.  She should just turn around.  She had no idea what this creature was capable of, no idea what it would do when it woke up.

But…

“But I am the element of kindness,” she said, quivering.  It was her job to care for any creature, no matter the danger, no matter the risk, come rain or shine.  Just because she didn’t know a certain creature didn’t make her duty any less important.

With a scared little whistle, she summoned the birds and furry things of the forest.  Most took one look at the thing and ran off, but some stayed behind and picked up parts of the cloth it was tangled in, managing to create a sort of makeshift stretcher to carry it in.  “C’mon little ones!” She said, trying to sound sure of herself and failing.  “We have another…widdle…fuzzy…kins who needs our help!”

Shooting unsure glances over their shoulders, the animals of the forest obliged, beginning the long journey back to Fluttershy’s cottage with their strange cargo.




Captain Vance had seen a lot of things during his time with the United States Marine Corps, most of them terrible, some good.  The little Afghani girl with the chunk of shrapnel in her shoulder, crying for her mother as she bled to death on a stretcher in a MASH unit would fall in the former category (and, in fact, kept him up most nights), whereas the sun setting over the Himalayan mountains that next week would definitely wind up in the latter.  Vance had seen the towering spires of Baghdad, the rolling dunes of the Somali desert, and one time on vacation, he even saw the view from the top of the Empire State Building.  By the time he turned forty, his fifteenth year in the Corps, he just about figured he had seen all there was available for a man to see on Earth.

And then he met the man with the slicked-back hair, leather jacket, and impossibly ancient eyes.  Since then, things had gotten weird.

Now, he had seen the twin suns of Beta Taurus rising over the methane gas plains of the planet KXY-7, two-hundred thousand light years from Earth.  He had seen the Pict'lan people of Earth 904, who, lacking properly formed vocal chords in their meter-long necks, communicated entirely with hand motions and body language.  He had fought dozens of exotic enemies from other worlds and other Earths and Earths that should not be but still were.  He had seen the sun swallow the Earth whole while sitting from the comfort of a balcony on a luxury yacht in the Sea of Tranquility on the moon (now an actual sea, thanks to terraforming) courtesy of the man in the leather jacket.  He had met versions of himself with dog ears and twenty toes, or who grew up in a household where his old man didn't have that heart attack and keel over on the assembly line when he was fourteen, and even gotten closure with an ex-wife who died not four months ago with one last walk along the beaches of Oahu-19.  

And still, despite this, despite all he had seen, hands down the weirdest thing he'd ever seen had to be the flock of cartoon-sparrows decorating the massive, pink tree in the center of his base.

"It's real pretty, isn't it, sir?"  The private next to him asked, looking up from cleaning his M4 Assault Rifle.

"Oh God, he's dropped me off in a little girl's head," Vance grumbled, ignoring the private and rubbing his temples.

"Close, but no cigar, Cap'm."  A familiar voice said in its usual, joking tone.  

Ignoring his nerves, Vance whirled around and screamed: "Atten-HUT!"  Every single man in the camp immediately joined the Captain in a massive, platoon-wide salute.  The man in the leather jacket grimaced, but Vance just smiled right on back: this was one of the few things he knew could get under the semi-omnipotent bastard's skin.  "At ease, please," the man in the leather jacket sighed, and instantly every man returned to what they had been doing, reverting to their relaxed positions almost simultaneously.  "Vance, why do you insist on doing the whole 'salute' thing?  I mean, honestly?"


"You are my superior officer here, sir," Vance replied, standing ramrod straight with his chest thrust out in a position honed by years of military life.  "You are a Major, after all."

"I toldja that was just a ceremonial position your general gave me to keep your damned bureaucracy happy," the man in the leather jacket grumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets and delivering a good kick to a rock by his feet.  “It’s a freakin’ joke.”

"I think you'll find we don't make jokes in the Corps very often, sir."  

"Yeah, I figured that out.  And cut the 'sir' crap, seriously."

"Yes sir, Mr. Swarm, sir."

Swarm grinned at that one.  "You're saying that wasn't a joke just then?"

Vance just grinned back.

"Fine.  Now, how you been settling in, Vance?"

"Oh, perfectly fine, sir.  The paratroopers should be arriving to reinforce our outer perimeter after they’ve patrolled the area for enemy contacts, and the…uh…” despite everything he'd seen, there were some things Vance knew he could never get used to, "…The local fauna have been a big help."

"Didja like the deer who led you to this site?"

"Bit of a corny touch, really: made me feel like I walked into a Disney movie.  But still, helpful.”

"Good to know you and your boys are getting comfortable."

"Yes sir, and don’t worry: once the paratroopers secure the area, we’ll be ready to guard the…creatures of this world."

“Now,” Swarm grinned, “What will you be guarding?”

Vance’s smile turned into a grimace, “Dontcha dare make me say it.”

“You know I can.  Just do yourself a favor and say it.”

The Captain struggled to keep his face from twisting into a look of absolute disgust, as if he’d just sipped a sugar-laden cup of Kool-Aid handed to him by a precocious little girl, now smiling up at him with a semi-toothless grin as she waited to hear how much he loved it.  “We will be ready to guard these…little…ponies.”

“Now, was that so hard?”

“Don’t make me kick your semi-omnipotent ass, son.”

“You’re welcome to try, little one.”

Chapter II: At Fluttershy's Cottage

The creature in Fluttershy’s bed moaned and turned over, its heavily-wrapped feet nearly knocking one of the posts right off the bedframe.

“Oh, there there,” the Element of Kindness cooed, most of her fear and wariness over the creature replaced with concern.  It never failed: the moment a creature of any kind fell under her wing, she couldn’t help but care for it as if it were one of her own pets.  I guess that applies to any kind of creature, no matter how strange, she thought as she directed the hummingbirds hovering nearby to replace the washcloth on the creature’s smooth, black forehead.

“Oh Celestia, if only I knew what you were!”  She sighed, “I might be able to help you then!  But so far I can just…”  As she thought aloud, she lost track of what her hooves were doing and the next thing she knew, she had bumped one of the strange black tendrils on the side of the creature’s head.

“Oops,” she quickly moved to fix her mistake, only to knock the creature’s head off entirely.  The strange, black apparatus bounced to the floor, rolling lopsidedly across the room before coming to a stop just short of the wall.

“DEAR SWEET CELESTIA!”  She screamed, rushing out the door, grabbing a roll of gauze from her bathroom cabinet, and returning to wrap what was left of the poor thing’s head, all the while shrieking at the top of her lungs: “I’MSORRYI’MSORRYI’MSORRYI’MSORRY…”

“Woah,” a raspy, yet comforting, voice said from the doorway.  “What…what is that!?”

“Rainbow Dash!”  Fluttershy screamed, pulling the only other pegasus she knew she could trust into the room.  “Thank Celestia you’re here!  I was just trying to help this poor little creature and I didn’t know how and now its head’s gone and I don’t know how to help it andeverythingisgoingwrongandnowit’sgonnadieandit’sallmyfaultand…”

“Fluttershy!”  The teal pegasus jammed a hoof into her friend’s mouth.  “Breathe.”

The little yellow pegasus obeyed, sucking in small bursts of air around Rainbow’s hoof and sighing.

“Better?”

Fluttershy nodded.

“Good.  Now,” Rainbow pulled her hoof away and trotted to the creature’s side. “What is this thing and why is it in your bed?”

“Well, I found it in the woods, and at first I didn’t know what to do, but it was pretty obvious the poor little darling was hurt, so I had to take it in.  Only,” she sniffled, tears welling up in her eyes, “Only I made it worse!  It’s head just popped right off and now the poor dear’s going to die and it’s all my…”

“Woah!  Wheredja get the cool helmet!?”  Rainbow gasped, swooping right over the creature’s body and grabbing the “head” in the corner.  Grinning, she pulled it on, only to have it slump down over her eyes.  “Aww, it’s too big!  Jeez, whoever wore this must’ve been a giant!”

Fluttershy watched her friend, her jaw scraping the floor.  “H-helmet?”

“Yeah!  Oooh, it’s got so many cool gadgets wired to it though!  Twilight would have a field day with…wait,” she pulled the black casing off her head and eyed Fluttershy.  “Did you think this thing was its head?”

Fluttershy nodded bashfully.

“You big goof!” Rainbow laughed before jamming the thing back on her head.  “Oh man, lookit all this stuff!  What’s this knob over here…”  Turning the knob on the helmet’s side with her hoof, Rainbow Dash was nearly knocked over by a loud blast of static.  

“So, you’re saying that was just the creature’s head protection?”  Fluttershy asked timidly.

“Huh!?”  Rainbow hollered as she pulled the helmet off and twisted the knob back to the off position.  “Oh yeah, it’s fine, Fluttershy!  Trust me: head’s don’t come off that easy.”

“Oh, good,” well, now she just felt kind of silly.  Of course that thing was a helmet; it was too artificial to be anything else!  Still, that didn’t explain the weird fabric she’d found it in, or what this creature was.  

As if on cue, another pony burst through the door.  “Where is it!?”  Twilight Sparkle blurted as she barged into the room.  Still playing with her helmet, Rainbow Dash simply nodded towards the bed.

“Hey, Fluttershy,” the purple unicorn said passively as she galloped past on her way to the bed.

“Oh, hello Twilight…”

“Couldja hold this for me while I set my things up?”  Twilight interrupted as she tossed a labcoat over Fluttershy’s head.  “Thanks.”

“Oh, s-sure Twilight, but what things do you need to set up?”  The little yellow pegasus asked as she shrugged the labcoat off her head and threw it over her back.

“Why, the equipment I’ll need for the testing, of course!  APPLEJACK!”  She called, and a certain orange-colored earth pony trotted in, tugging a wagon loaded down with more heavy electronic equipment than Fluttershy would have thought could possibly fit into a little, red Radio Flyer.

“Whew!”  AJ gasped.  “Ah dunno whatcha think this stuff’ll do fer Fluttershy there, Twi.  But I hope it’s worth…” her eyes fell on the bed, and widened.  “Now, what in tarnation is that thing!?”

“That’s why I asked Twilight over,” Fluttershy explained.  “I found the poor dear in the forest, wrapped in some kind of strange cloth.”

“Cloth?  Oh, dahling, I hope you kept it!”  Rarity said as she trotted in daintily.  “Celestia knows when one might need a bit of fabric lying around, and it can be so much cheaper to…I say, where did you find the shaved monkey?”

This time, Fluttershy just shrugged and nudged Twilight.

“Oh, I haven’t a clue what it is or where it came from!  But I intend to find out,” the purple unicorn replied as she turned to her machine and pulled out a bundle of wires attached to sensors.  However, before she could begin the process of sticking the little paper sensors onto every inch of exposed skin she could find, Pinkie Pie shot in with a series of blaring trumpets, confetti bursting into the room just behind her.

“Girls!  Time to welcome a new friend!”  She screamed, readying a pair of drums strapped to herself.  “Where is he!?”

“Um…” Twilight said.  Pinkie instantly locked on the bed and backflipped off the ground, landing right on the creature’s chest.  It groaned as the air was knocked right out of its body and Pinkie started her song: “WELCOME!  WELCOME!  WELCOME!  WE’RE GLAD YOU’RE FINALLY HEEEEERREE!  JUST YOU AND ME, PINKIE!  OUR LOVELY LIT-tle…dear…” she finally looked down at what she was standing on, then back at all her friends.  “Girls?  What is this thing?”  

“We don’t know, Pinkie, that’s what I was about to find out.”  Twilight replied patiently.

“Oh,” she said, looked back down to the creature’s strange, misshapen, bandage-covered head one last time before shrieking and throwing herself off the bed.  “RARITY!”

“No, not again…” Rarity moaned before her friend’s little, pink flank smacked her to the ground.  Both girls landed with a loud thump, after which Pinkie started screaming some more.

“Pinkie.”  Twilight said, now struggling to keep her patience.

“AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…”

“Pinkie!”  Twilight was most definitely annoyed now.

“…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…”

“PINKIE!”

“…AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH – what?”

“Are you done?”

“Hold on – AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - okay.”

“Good, now, before there are any more interruptions…” Twilight turned back to the bundle of wires by her hoof.  With a few, swift movements, the unicorn had a couple dozen sensors attached to the creature’s skin and every machine in her wagon running.

After a few minutes of beeping and whirring, the wagon-based computer bank spat out a long roll of paper, which Twilight studied.  “Hmm…interesting…” she mumbled.

“What is it, Twi?”  AJ asked.

“Well, according to these scans, this creature still has a very high level of brain activity, consistent with somepony who’s…dreaming.”

“Good Heavens!”  Rarity gasped, throwing Pinkie off herself, “Are you saying this thing is capable of dreaming!?”

“I can’t say for certain yet, but these scans are showing me the kind of activity most animals aren’t capable of.”

“So it’s smart?”  AJ asked.

“Again, I can’t say that with any kind of certainty, but…” Twilight shrugged, “It could be a reasonable assumption to make.  Hold on…”  Thinking on her hooves, the little purple unicorn pulled one of the creature’s arms from beneath the bedspread and studied its cloth sleeve carefully, pulling out a magnifying glass.  “Rarity, could you come over here and tell me what you see?”

Curious, the white unicorn trotted up to her friend’s side and shoved her face into the magnifying glass.  “Oh my, I’ve never seen I’ve never seen stitching like this!  It’s beyond precise!”  She exclaimed after a moment, her eyes widening in shock.

“Hmm,” Twilight nodded, scratching her chin with her hoof.  Head hunched in thought, she crossed the room to where Rainbow Dash sat and stole the helmet from off her friend’s head.

“Heyyy…”

Twilight ignored her friend’s complaints and focused on the helmet in her hooves, turning it over, looking at it from every possible angle.

“You wanna clue us in on whatcha got there, Twi?”  Applejack asked.

Twilight simply nodded, hoofing the helmet back to Rainbow Dash before continuing: “Girls, based on what I’ve seen so far, I think it would be safe to conclude this creature is not of this world.”

“You mean…” Pinkie Pie gasped, “THEY have finally landed!?  EEP!  I KNEW IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY CAME BACK FOR ME!”

“Now, hold up,” AJ raised a hoof for some calm.  “You’re not sayin’ we got ourselves a real, honest-to-Celestia alien on our hooves, are ya?”

“I don’t know, but between the high-levels of brain activity and the incredible amount of technology in that helmet,” Twilight shrugged in Rainbow’s direction as the little cyan pegasus shocked herself on one of the many devices wired into the helmet.  “I think we can safely say this creature is from some sort of different civilization, with a technological capability far beyond our own.”

“A true, sophisticated civilization!?”  Rarity gasped, “Oh, to learn the culture of otheh worlds!  What mahvelous things can this creature do, I wonder?”

At that moment, a deep rumble emanated from the bed, catching everypony’s attention.  Rainbow Dash laid the helmet on the ground and started hovering, ready to charge the bed as Applejack bowed her head and stood ready to back her up.  Everypony else backed cautiously away, giving the pair a clear path to the bed if needed.

Then a rotten stench filled the room, forcing them all to turn away and cough.  

“Ugh, dreadful!”  Rarity gasped, preparing a pillow for a fainting spell.

“Some sort of…defense mechanism?”  Twilight wondered aloud, pinching her nose shut with her hoof.

“Naw, li’l guy must’ve had some beans ‘fore landin’ here in Equestria,” AJ replied, waving the stench away with her hat.  

“Oh, Applejack!  That’s so crude!”  Rarity choked, her nose wrinkling derisively.

“What?  Ah grew up with an older farmhand fer a bro, Ah know what a fart smells like!”

“But we still don’t know for sure if it was…”

“Why don’t you just ask him what happened?”  Pinkie asked.

All eyes turned to the bed.  The creature was sitting up.

Chapter III: Brunch with Frienemies

Celestia tilted her head back and downed her tea in a single gulp, leaning back in her chair as the liquid rushed down her throat.  Her garden surrounded her, the centerpiece of which, of course, was the frozen statue of Discord, Lord of Chaos and Disharmony.  Besides that one sour note from her past, though, the garden really was pleasant.  Rose bushes by the dozens, little birds and fluffy squirrels playing over the cobblestone paths, even a nice little hedge maze to wander around in.  

And then she thought of what she would need to do soon…

She poured herself another cup of tea and slammed it back in one gulp, eyeing the statue as she replaced the cup in its saucer.

“Wishing for somezing a little stronger?”  A familiar voice asked behind her in its usual, heavy German accent.  

She turned in her seat and smiled warmly.  “Hello again, Swarm.”

The man behind her returned the smile, his blonde hair shining in the midday sun, a bottle of wine cradled in his gloved hands, right in front of the lapels of his finely-tailored suit.  “I vould assume we are alone?”

“Of course, just as you requested.”

“Good, good,” Swarm took a seat at the marble table and produced two glasses, filling each to the brim.  “Colli Aprutini, from the vines of Teramo.”

“Your Italians do seem to have a knack for wine making.”  Celestia said, her glass rising to her lips with a magical shimmer.

Swarm stared at her, “Now, how did you even…”

“I am an Alicorn, Swarm, tasked with the protection of all of Equestria.  It is my job to know.  Now, judging by your accent, I would assume you are the European brother, are you not?”

The man grimaced.  “My brozer did not tell me you were avare that zere vere more of us.”

“He probably wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, it is quite ze surprise, I can assure you of zat.”

“Now, what name do you prefer to go by?”

The man raised his glass to his lips, obviously deep in thought for a quick instant, and then he shrugged and took a small sip.  “Hans.  Hans Dietrich.”  He replied with the wine sliding down his throat.

“A lovely name.”

“Yes, I thought so too.  Now,” Swarm crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair.  “Vhat seems to be ze problem, mine little princess?”

“You’re imitating Freud on purpose, aren’t you?”  Celestia asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“I have a lot of German in me; it’s one of ze benefits.”

“Fine,” Celestia sighed.  “If you must know, it’s Discord.”

The cocky little smile on Swarm’s face faded.  “You really don’t want to enlist his help in zis battle, do you?”  

“The God of Chaos and Disharmony, whose iron rule over the land spread misery to untold millions, loose once again?  And, what’s more, we become indebted to him by asking for his help?”  Celestia replied icily.  “Swarm dearest, why would that bother me at all?”

“You know what’s at stake here, you know what ze enemy is capable of, and you know zat if they vin, zeir reign will make a thousand years under Discord look like a cakewalk.  We have no choice: my forces are spread too thin, ve need all ze help we can get!”

“I know this Swarm, I was merely airing a few personal grievances,” she sighed again, bringing the wine glass to her lips and sipping regally.  Suddenly, a bear’s paw clamped onto Swarm’s shoulder, and he bolted out of his chair, a rapier materializing in his hand.  Discord smirked back at him, the small tuft of hair he tried to pass off as a beard waving in the mild breeze.

“Which is why I released him twenty minutes ago,” Celestia finished, allowing a tiny yet confident smile to cross her face as she sipped.  “That facsimile on the pedestal over there is just so nobody notices Discord’s absence and panics.”

“So, this is the boy with all the toys?”  Discord looked Swarm over as the rapier disappeared once again.  Swarm returned the gaze, both of them systematically scanning each other until they finally met one another’s eyes.  Discord’s yellow-red pupils locked onto Swarm’s sky-blue pearls.  

“You know, if this was another kind of fanfic, this would be the part where we kiss.”  Discord said, nonchalantly returning Swarm’s piercing gaze.

“Oh, I’m avare.”  Swarm replied.

“You won’t hear a complaint from me!”  Celestia gushed, the wine obviously starting to take effect as the two took their seats at opposite sides of the table.

“I’ve heard a great many things about you.”  Discord said, his gaze never leaving Swarm’s.

“Have you now?”

“It’s hard not to hear of another traveler when one jumps across as many worlds as I do.”

Celestia paused mid-sip in slight surprise, as if Discord had just revealed something she might have suspected at some point, but never put much effort into investigating.

“Don’t be surprised, Princess,” Discord grinned and leaned back, his reptilian tail shifting to accommodate his motions, “I am the very essence of chaos and disharmony.  You may have caged my physical form in this realm, but there are infinitely many more for me to play in.  Like Mr. Dietrich’s here.”

“Oh?”  Swarm laughed, pulling another wine glass out from under the table and filling it.  “I find zat hard to believe.  Nozing could get near my vorld without my knowing.”

“You’d be surprised, Dietrich.  At any rate, it’s been awhile since I’ve paid a visit.  Not since you were born, in fact.”

Swarm’s grip on the bottle faltered, spilling a few drops of wine onto the pure-white marble of the table.

“Yes, I’m afraid your world has gotten quite boring since you popped up,” Discord continued, eyeing his fingernails with sudden fascination as a wicked smile crossed his face.  “But then, what could one expect from a planet reduced from six billion real, living, sentient beings to…”

“Discord!”  Celestia barked.  “Enough.  Or have you forgotten our deal?”

“Of course I haven’t,” Discord’s goat-like features formed into a pout which reminded Swarm of a child being forced to eat their veggies.  “Just having a bit of fun here, Princess.  It has been a while since I’ve been allowed that much in this specific world.  Speaking of fun though, it looks like I’ll be having a lot more once we’re done.”

He grinned, his teeth, though misshapen and cracked, gleaming intimidatingly at his companions in the midday sun.  “Two-hundred year’s free reign over alternating sections of Equestria?  You two must be desperate.”

“We are,” Swarm replied gravely, and immediately his tone set the god of chaos on edge, though he absolutely refused to show it.  The man in the tuxedo ran his finger along the rim of his glass.  “For the past few months, zere have been numerous interdimensional breeches, on a scale unlike anyzing we’ve seen before.”

“So?  One of us has gotten frisky.”  Discord messily gulped down his wine and slammed his glass down on the table, chipping its polished surface as he wiped his mouth with the back of his clawed hand.  “It happens every now and again.  Plenty of time on our hands, infinite power, what do you expect?”

“Not like zis,” Swarm reached under the table, this time pulling out a manila folder.  He threw it casually towards Discord, who caught it mid-air and popped it open.  Inside was a stack of photographs, the first of which showed some kind of beach landing being undertaken by a large human military force.  “Zat first one was taken by an American spy satellite last veek in one of ze worlds near my own.  It shows an assault being undertaken by a group calling itself ‘The Ridchir’ upon ze southern shores of the isle of Hong Kong.  Zis group proceeded to launch an all-out attack upon ze Chinese mainland and carry out a number of terrorist attacks and air strikes which resulted in the destruction of an American carrier group, along vith numerous Chinese, American, Taiwanese, and Japanese military facilities in ze region.”

“Now, where did a terrorist group get the resources to carry out such a widespread attack?”  Celestia asked, leaning forward in her seat.  Discord tried his very best to look disinterested, though privately he had to admit he was curious himself.

“Anozer vorld,” Swarm replied flatly, tilting his head back and upending his wine glass down his throat as his companions sat in stunned silence.  “Ze rest of them are like zat.  A few, particularly nasty human vorlds doing zings they should not be able to do.”

Discord flipped rapidly through the file.  The photos were all the same: a group of men armed with sub-machine guns and assault rifles taking a group of animal-like, anthropomorphic people dressed in medieval garb hostage.  Several men in Roman-style tunics lying in a ditch, covered in their own blood, with dozens of tell-tale automatic rifle-fire wounds all over their bodies.  An archer with pointed, elf-like ears taking aim at the hundreds of parachutes opening over his tree-top home.  And, most disturbing of all, an alternative version of Ponyville, burning as the dark silhouettes of stealth bombers streaked overhead.

“Somezing is punching holes in the walls of reality itself, spraying zis vay and that like a child vith a machine gun.”  Swarm said, pouring himself another glass, “And I haff good reason to believe it has set its sights on zis specific version of Equestria.”

Without another word, both Princess Celestia and Discord pushed their glasses forward.  Swarm refilled them silently, staring tiredly at the last few drops trickling away.

Chapter IV: The Missing Pilot (Part 1)

Captain Vance gave himself a few more taps before zipping himself up.  He knew the golden rule: two shakes or it’s just touching yourself, but he figured his audience deserved a little show.  Smiling contentedly, he turned away from the bright-pink tree he’d just gone number-one on and almost had his eye poked out by the barrel of an M4-Carbine assault rifle.  The smile waivered for an instant, but remained.

The rifle’s owner was a rather large, muscular, black man, wearing the same goggles given to airborne troops as standard issue.  He was in full uniform, and held his rifle with a sureness that told Vance he’d used it before, and not just on the firing range.  Looking around, Vance could see at least twenty fully-uniformed men had him surrounded, assault rifles all focused on him.  “Hands where we can see ‘em,” the black man, obviously the leader, whispered.

Vance obeyed, raising his hands with the palms exposed, but still the smile remained.

“What’s so funny?”  The man in front of him asked.

“S’just weird, you know?”  Vance replied.  “I was about to tell you the same thing.”

Suddenly, a hundred more men materialized from the woods around them, decked out in ghillie suits and covered in native foliage.  It was almost ludicrous, seeing so many battle-tested warriors with pink leaves tucked into their uniforms, but in the end it had been completely effective.  They blended it in perfectly with the Everfree forest.  The troopers surrounding Vance hadn’t suspected a thing until they were already caught in the trap.  And still the smile remained on the Captain’s face, only this time the other man joined him, grinning broadly.  “Nice to see you haven’t gone soft, Captain.”  He said, lowering his rifle and extending a gloved hand.

“Lieutenant Webb!”  Vance gushed, seizing the hand and shaking it vigorously, “I haven’t seen you since Fallujah!”

“It’s been far too long, sir.”

“That it has, son; that it has.”  Vance whistled, and immediately every man in the forest lowered their weapons and marched forward to greet their paratrooper friends.  Vance selected a specific man from the crowd and began ushering the group back to their main encampment.

“Lieutenant, I want you to meet Second Lieutenant Parker.  He’s my second in command for this operation, and though he doesn’t look it, he’s just about as tough a leader as they come.”

“Nice meetin’ ya,” Webb extended his hand.

“The pleasure’s all mine, sir.”  Parker replied, strapping his assault rifle to his back and shaking Webb’s hand with a grin.  “My brother was one of those Army guys you pulled out of that crossfire just outside Fallujah.  It’s an honor to meet you face-to-face.”  Parker replied, shaking the hand.

“Yeah, well, just doin’ my duty.”  Webb shrugged, trying very hard to keep from blushing.

“Don’t be so modest, Webb.  It’s unbecoming for a leader of your caliber.”  Vance said, smiling as he looked at the paratroopers accompanying his men to camp.  “Now, I see you managed to hook up with Zulu squadron, what about the others?”

“Well, we did manage to find Bravo squad,” Webb replied, and suddenly, twenty more men in paratrooper gear appeared from the wilderness, all surrounding the path they had been following, all with their rifles focused on Vance and Parker.

Vance just grinned even more widely.  “God DAMN, I missed workin’ with you, Webb!”

“I missed the hell out of you too, sir,” Webb replied as the newcomers fell in line with the rest of the group.

“Where’s Alpha squadron, though?  You find those guys?”

“No sir, I’m afraid they were absent from the rendezvous.  We assumed they couldn’t make it and had gone directly to camp.”

Vance grimaced, “I swear, if it wasn’t for all this wild…magic in the air…”

“Still not used to that shit, sir.”

“Neither am I son, but like I was saying, this never would have happened in any other op.  We wouldn’t have to assume anything: Alpha would have radioed somebody by now if all the damned magic didn’t interfere with long-range radio!”

“I’m sure they’re just fine, sir.”  Webb shrugged.  “They’re big boys.  They can care of themselves, and if not, we can always begin a search of…”

As if on cue, a voice cried out from the encampment: “WOUNDED!  WE’VE GOT WOUNDED INCOMING!”

Every man in the now company-strength human group immediately picked up the pace, reaching their base just as the first handful of new paratroopers began trickling out of the woods on the opposite side of camp, some of them limping, some of them being supported by their comrades, and some being hauled in on makeshift stretchers.

“Alert the medical tent, we got casualties!”  Vance screamed.  “Every man help Alpha squad get the wounded to the tent, and somebody find me Lieutenant Bannon!”

“Over here, sir,” a man gasped as he limped into the clearing, sweat dripping off the bushy mustache cradled on his lip beneath his paratrooper visors.  As two of Vance’s Marines rushed forward to pick up the stretcher tied to his back, the man with the mustache dropped to the ground, wheezing.

“Bannon!  What happened!?  The enemy!?”  Vance barked.

“No sir…some kinda storm,” he gasped, struggling for breath.  “Tore the chopper to pieces…a few minutes out of the rift.  We tried…to deploy early, but some of us…just weren’t fast enough.”  He motioned to the casualties now funneling into the medic’s tent.

“Is that everyone?  Did everyone make it to the ground?”  

“No sir.  The pilot, he…” Bannon choked.  “His seatbelt jammed.  I was the last one out, so I tried to help him, but…I dunno.  Something hit me,” he removed his visors, allowing Vance to see a swollen and blackened left eye.  “I was in a daze after that.  Next thing I knew, I was outside the chopper, parachute deployed and already drifting to ground.  I saw it go down, sir, I…sir, I…”

He sniffled, “Sir, I don’t think he made it out.”

“Alright son,” Vance sighed.  “You did your best, but right now you need to get to the medtent and get that shiner checked out.”

“Yes, sir,” Bannon whimpered, pulling himself to his feet.

“In the meantime, me and my men will be searching for that pilot.  Until we find a body, we are going to assume he made it out of that chopper in one piece, understand?”

“Perfectly,” the Lieutenant sighed, trying to maintain something that at least resembled a confident look in his eye, “And sir?”

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“What about the Major? Is he going to help?”

Vance’s nose wrinkled in derision.  There were quite a few things he wanted to say about the Major just then, but he knew it was bad practice to bad-mouth a superior around one’s subordinates.   “Swarm has not been seen in the past twelve hours or so.  I would assume he has more important matters to attend to elsewhere.  Until he returns, however, we are going to carry on as the soldiers we’re trained to be, and trust that wherever that pilot is, he’s in good hands.”

“Yes, sir.”  Bannon said, before turning and making his slow, limping towards the medical tent.

Chapter V: The Missing Pilot (Part 2)

“WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING ON!?”  The creature screamed, flailing its arms around wildly.  Being the only ones prepared for a charge, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were the first to make it to the bed, each wrapping their hooves around one of the creature’s arms and pinning it to the mattress.

“Gosh, it’s strong!”  RD grunted.

“Don’t tell me it’s too much for ya, Rainbow!”  AJ replied, grinning through gritted teeth as she dodged a wayward kick from one of the creature’s legs.

“In your dreams, country pony.”

“WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING ON!?  WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?  WHY CAN’T I FUCKING SEE!?”  The creature repeated as it continued thrashing.

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie popped up on the creature’s chest, whipped out the largest tuba anypony in the room had ever seen, and blatted right into its face, streams of confetti exploding with the noise.  AJ and Rainbow hit the floor, dazed and covered in glitter.  “Consarn it, Pinkie, couldja warn a pony ‘fore you go doin’ somethin’ like that!?”  AJ snapped.

“Ugh, my ears are gonna be ringing for a week.”  Rainbow grumbled.

“Sorry,” Pinkie replied, shrugging sheepishly at them, “But I didn’t know any other way to calm everypo- you all down.”

“Oh, God, my head,” the creature moaned, its head back on the pillow.  Everypony gathered around the bed, except for Fluttershy, who had to be pulled out from under the pillow she’d been hiding behind throughout the debacle.  “Wha-what’s going on – who’s there?”

“It’s…talking.”  Rarity said, looking around at her friends worriedly.

Twilight cleared her throat.  “Excuse me, sir?”

The creature froze, trying to peer through the bandages.  “Who’s there!?”

“Sir, if you could calm down for…oh, you know what?  Hang on,” she bent over and checked under the bed, where a certain yellow pegasus had already thrown re-hidden herself.  “Fluttershy?  We could really use your expertise.”

Still shivering, she shook her head and kept her hooves firmly clamped over her eyes.

“Fluttershy…”

Then AJ poked her head under, “Fluttershy, hun?  We could really use ya.  This here critter needs somepony t’calm it down.”

“A creature…needs…my…” she whimpered, repeating Applejack’s words to herself like a mantra as she slowly pulled herself out and back to the creature’s bedside.  Obviously unsure of herself, she looked around at her friends, teeth gritted in fear.  They ushered her on.  Still not quite sure of what to do, the little yellow pegasus looked within herself for that gut instinct which had guided her through so many situations like this.  Then, acting purely on that instinct, she pulled off one of the creature’s gloves with her teeth and took its hand in her hooves.

“There…there, you’re…um…safe now.”  She said shakily, surprised at how warm the creature’s hand was.  Based on how muscular its arms and legs looked, she had assumed this thing would be some sort of fighting creature, covered in hard, tough skin meant for taking on other harder, tougher animals.  But this thing in her hooves felt almost…soft.  And smelt lightly of vanilla.

At any rate, the creature relaxed immediately, and her friends beamed at her.  It had worked.  Things were back under control.  The creature laid there for a second before asking: “Where am I?  Some sorta hospital?”

“Well, Fluttershy’s cottage is where we bring all the hurt animals.”  Twilight said.

“A vet’s place?  Great.”  The creature tried to sit up, winced, and laid back down.  “At least you all speak English, and don’t kill Americans on sight.  That’s a helluva lot more than I could say for the last place I was deployed.”

“Yes, um…” Twilight shrugged, looking at her friends confusingly.  “What is…what is your name?”

“Officer Peter Uris, United States Naval Aviator,” the creature said, giving a perfectly well-rehearsed reply.  “Here to support…hang on…”

The creature bolted upright in the bed, “Where am I?”  

“Like I said, you are at Fluttershy’s…”

“No, I mean what country?  I’m back in the U.S, right?”

“Um…” Twilight shrugged at her friends.  “Is…is that the name of your planet?”

“So they HAVE landed,” Pinkie muttered, squinting suspiciously at the creature.

“Oh no,” it groaned, clawing at the bandages.  “Oh man…what’s on my head?  Why can’t I…”

“Oh, easy now,” Fluttershy cooed, unwrapping the bandages around the creature’s head.  For some reason, at the sound of her voice, the creature paused immediately, allowing her to gently unwrap its face.  The moment the last strip of gauze peeled away, its eyes blinked open, squinting in the daylight.

The creature stared at the ponies surrounding it, looking more and more worried as each moment passed and the things around him stubbornly remained ponies, refusing to turn back into human nurses as part of what had to be a concussion-induced hallucination.  The ponies looked back, regarding its dull, squinty brown eyes with concern.  After a few minutes of one of the most awkward staring contests in Equestria’s history, the creature sighed.  “Nope, not Earth,” he muttered.  “Man, my CO’s gonna be pissed.”


The map on the card table in front of Vance hadn’t been touched in twenty minutes, except by an errant finger as he reached over for one of his tools.  A dozen circles marking where the Search and Rescue teams had been deployed stared back up at him as he worked, some of them exed-off already.

Vance grimaced.  This was the part he always hated: the waiting.  His men had received their orders, the sandbags were dug, the weapons had been cleaned and loaded, and the recon teams were scouring the area for enemy contacts (though they were a bit short-handed now with so many of the specially-trained squads on the search for the missing pilot) while everyone else trained up and stayed sharp for that moment when the recon teams came running back to camp.  Until that moment, however, he could only stare at the little circles and dots on his map, repeatedly disassembling, cleaning, and reassembling his sidearm to keep the tension at bay.

Yes, Vance was no stranger to the tension that came with the waiting.  There had been plenty of both in Iraq and Afghanistan, and each time he grew to hate it just a little bit more.  It was waiting for the bombs to go off, or the bullets to start flying, or for a squad to burst from the woods carrying a teammate covered in blood.  It was sitting in one place, waiting for all hell to break loose.

“Captain?”  Lieutenant Parker stepped into the tent with a quick salute.

“How goes the search, Lieutenant?”  Vance asked, remaining focused on the disassembled pistol in front of him.

“We found the chopper, sir: it was demolished.  We don’t know how much of the damage was done by whatever downed her and how much was the initial crash, but there ain’t much worth salvaging.  We know that…”

“Didja find our pilot?”  Vance asked, locking the pistol’s slide back into place.

“No, sir.”  

“Then keep looking.  I want that pilot back in friendly hands before whatever’s supposed to happen here happens.”

“Yes, sir,” the Lieutenant turned to leave, but suddenly thought better and stepped tentatively back into the tent, waiting there for his Captain to acknowledge him.  He didn’t have to wait long.

“Lieutenant?”  Vance still didn’t look up from the half-assembled pistol.

“Sir, with all due respect,” Parker breathed slowly before continuing: “This search has our forces scattered all to hell.  If the enemy shows up, or if one of our guys makes unauthorized contact with the native populace…”

“Our men are professional soldiers who know how to handle unwarranted contact with civilian populations, the appearance of enemy forces will almost certainly be preceded by that rather spectacular light show the rift’s opening tends to show off, and I am NOT writing a letter telling a distraught mother how I lost her son to a nasty storm before the fighting even started.  Not if I can help it.”  Vance slammed the pistol’s magazine home and worked the slide, taking great satisfaction in the little telltale click informing him of a job well done.

“Is that understood, Lieutenant?”

“Sir!  Yes, sir!”

“Then get back to work.  Don’t return until you have either a helicopter pilot with an interesting story to tell, or a body.”

Without another word, Parker saluted and left the tent.  Vance glared down at the map, pistol in hand.  A group of circles with X’s over them stared back up at him, kinda like the eyes of dead people in those old cartoons he used to watch…

Sighing, he pulled the pistol’s magazine out and worked the slide to empty the chamber, catching the bullet as it sprang out at him so he could start the cleaning process all over again.

Chapter VI: The Arrival

"Celestia, Luna, Discord, Chrysalis, Nightmare Moon."  Uris repeated, sighing.

"Good, good," Twilight said, marking off another check on her clipboard, "Now, who are they?"

"For the fifth time, and in order: the Princess of Day, the Princess of Night, the god of chaos, the queen of the changelings, and the corrupted form of Luna who reigned over the moon for a thousand years."

"Perfect.  Good to know my readings on your cognitive abilities were correct."

"Good to know I'm your lab rat," Uris replied snidely.  "So, what are you, the resident egghead or something?"

"Um...the what now?"

"You know: the scientist.  Always thinking about math an' shit.  Always got your nose buried in a book.  That sorta deal."

"Well, I don't really know much about math.  Or...shit.”  Twilight replied, her speech stumbling over the strange word, “But I do believe a well-rounded individual should be able to devote a few hours every night to the written word."

"Mmh-hmm," Uris leaned back in his bed, the mattress squeaking beneath his body while a confident grin spread across his face.  "Spoken like a true egghead."

Twilight just arched an eyebrow quizzically at him.  "You seem to be adjusting fairly well for a bipedal sentient being in a

world of ponies."

"Oh don't get me wrong, I'd probably be freaking the hell out if I didn’t know where I was.  We really weren't supposed to make contact with the local populace."

"WE!?"  Rainbow Dash burst into the room, leaving her friends in the hallway.

"Oh, figured you'd be listening in on us."  Uris grinned.

"There's more of you!?  Why!?  What do you want in Equestria!?"

Uris just sighed, "I'm really not supposed to go any deeper than..."

"WHAT ARE YOU HIDING!?"  She screamed, grabbing Uris by the front of his uniform and shaking him for all she was worth.

"Rainbow!  You'll open up his wounds!"  Fluttershy gasped, galloping in right behind her hot-headed friend.  

The teal pegasus snorted in Uris's face, but obeyed, releasing him from her hooves' grip while muttering how "Lucky he is that Fluttershy's here."

"Sorry about Rainbow," Fluttershy sighed.  "She's...spirited."

"On my planet, we just called it 'being a bitch.'"

"I'LL TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT, YOU UGLY..."

"RAINBOW!"  Rarity poked her head in, peering at her friend sternly.  "Applejack and I need your help setting up dinner out here!"  Still grumbling, Rainbow Dash floated out, shooting a nasty look over her shoulder every few seconds until she was out the door.

"Again, sorry."  Fluttershy said.

"No need to apologize, ma'am.  We can't always control what our friends do."

"You mentioned another world," Twilght said, finally reentering the conversation.  "Care to tell us about that?"

Uris bit his lip, finally looking just a bit unsure of himself.  "I really shouldn't."

"Alright then, Mr. Mysterious," Twilight said.  "What are you doing here?"

"Again, you're not even supposed to know what we're..."

"You used 'we' again."

"Fuck!”  He smacked himself in the forehead.  “Please forget I did."

"Look," Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes as she set her clipboard down.  "It's obvious you didn't come here alone.  So, what are you all after?  Why are the others here?  You at least owe us that much for saving your butt."

Uris shook his head, "I'm sorry, I really wasn't..."

Then Fluttershy placed a hoof on his hand, staring up at him with two, massive blue pools, her mane cast over one eye in a perfectly cute fashion.  "Please?"

“Dammit, why do you all have to be so mind-numbingly adorable?”  He grumbled, turning over to face the window away from the pair of ponies.  “We’re here to protect you.  That’s all.”

“Protect us?  From what?” Twilight asked.

“My head hurts.”  Uris replied, resting his head on his pillow.  Twilight sighed, it was obvious that she wouldn’t be getting anything else out of this guy, especially with Fluttershy nudging her towards the door, insisting the “little dear needs his sleep.”

Once the door shut behind him, Uris shifted on his bed, staring out the window.  A small bluebird perched upon a leaf whistled a neat little tune and took off from one of the tree’s numerous pink branches, shaking some magic dust loose which drifted to the ground as a cloud of sparkles.  A few minutes later, a large peppermint candy sprouted up where the dust had landed.

“Oh for God’s sake,” he grumbled.  He’d had to put up with this crap when his little sister had gone through that Care Bears phase, and now he was living it!  There had to be something non-cute here: a drive-by, a drug deal.  Was there such a thing as pony heroin?

He was about to turn back over when a deep boom resounded somewhere in the skies over him, rattling the window in its pane.  His eyes widened in terror.  Throwing off the covers, Uris scrambled across the room, threw the window open and peeked outside, scanning the skies wildly.  After a few minutes, he spotted it: a small green glint somewhere high over him, with a tiny black speck in its center.  He didn’t need a spyglass to know what it was.  Being a helicopter pilot, he knew a rotor-suspended craft when he saw one.

“Oh my God, they’re here.”  He whimpered, a cold fist clenching in his stomach.  

Chapter VII: Gatherings

In the kitchen, Rarity sprinkled a touch of cinnamon into the large pot bubbling on the oven.  “That’s too much, consarn it!”  Applejack said, swatting at her hoof with a wooden spoon.  “You makin’ hay soup, or a gingerbread house?”

“Any decent dish can be made even better with just a touch of sweetness added,” Rarity replied haughtily.  “Honestly, for somepony who makes so many baked goods, one would think you would know that.”

“Are you insultin’ my cookin’?”  Applejack snorted.

“No, I just…”

“Don’t forget the sprinkles!”  Pinkie Pie interrupted, bounding past them with a trail of confetti billowing out behind her as she threw a jar of chocolate jimmies into the pot.

“Oh Pinkie, now it’s ruined!”  Rarity moaned.

“Seriously, hon, you may know desserts, but let the other ponies handle dinner.”  AJ sighed.

“What?  Everypony knows that any dish can be improved with enough sprinkles!”

“That is so completely wrong Ah don’t even know where t’start.”

“Twilight!  Are you going to help with dinner, or not?”  Rarity moaned in the direction of the little purple unicorn hunched over the kitchen table, her notebook open in front of her.

“What would a species like his even eat…” Twilight mumbled, obviously lost in her own little world, at least until Fluttershy trotted in with a massive platter containing every single fruit and vegetable in her garden balanced on her head.  “Fluttershy!  What in Equestria…”

“Well, we don’t even know what Mr. Uris might eat,” she replied bashfully.  “So I thought we should try just a bit of everything.

“Oh, let ‘im starve!”  Rainbow Dash called from the couch, the helmet spinning atop one of her hooves.  “If he won’t tell us why he’s here, why should we bother t’feed him?”

“Fluttershy, that’s a wonderful idea!”  Twilight said with a glare in Rainbow’s direction.

“Really?  You really think so?”

“I know so!  Here, let me help you.”  The unicorn balanced part of the tray on her horn and helped ease it down the hall and into Uris’ room.

“Mr. Uris!”  She called, backing in through the door, “We bought some…”  

The tray clattered to the floor as Fluttershy dropped her end, interrupting Twilight.  “Oh, Fluttershy, the food!  What’s wrong!?”  

The little yellow pegasus just stood, gaping at an empty bed with ruffled sheets.  Just above the still-warm pillow, a window stood wide-open, its curtains billowing in a gentle breeze.  “Where is he?”  She asked in fright.

“Oh, I’m sure he couldn’t have gotten too far…” before Twilight could finish, Fluttershy took to the air, whipping across the room and shooting out the window at speeds that would impress Rainbow Dash.  “Wait, Fluttershy!  Wait!”  Twilight started after her, but she could already tell she would never catch up.  The little pegasus already had a massive head start, and with her newfound speed, she was nothing but a yellow speck darting through the wilds of the Everfree forest in no time at all.


Celestia tapped a hoof impatiently on the barely-existent ground, keeping track of time using the pulse bursts of a quasar some two light-years away.  Late.  Every last one of them.  She sighed in frustration.  She had expected this from Swarm and the god of chaos.  After all, they were…well, Swarm and the god of chaos.  But Luna?  Heaven knows Luna should have been here by now.  “What is keeping you, sister?”  She muttered under her breath.

“Just a wish to see thee concerned, sister dearest.”  Celestia turned just as Luna appeared, seemingly materializing from the dark matter swirling about them.  As was her trademark, her cape swiftly disintegrated into a flock of bats, which flew off to God-only knows where.

“Luna,” Celestia smiled warmly.  “Longing for the days of Nightmare Moon, are we?”

A shiver traveled up the Princess of the Night’s spine.  “Never, sister.  But thou doth knoweth what they say about old habits.”

“Of course, sister, I was merely poking a bit of fun.”

“Speaking of poking fun, I hope that’s all thy letter to summon me here was,” Luna stifled a giggle.  “I mean, really?  Teaming up with the Lord of Chaos himself?  To fight some non-descript evil in the twilight between realms?”

“No, dearest sister,” Celestia said with a grimace.  “I am afraid that letter was very serious.”

Luna froze for a second, then put a hoof to her mouth to stifle another giggle.  “Oh, good one, sister!  Thou almost hadeth me there!  Thou were so serious it almost made it seem like we would be dealing with…”

“…the real deal?”  A familiar voice with just a hint of an English accent asked.  Luna’s body locked up in sheer terror as Discord appeared just over Celestia’s head, snaking his long body down towards her and coiling around her neck.  Much to her disgust, he began stroking her chin ever so slowly while gazing into her eyes.  “The real McCoy?  The genuine article?  The one, the only, the actual,” he sprang from Celestia’s body and burst up towards the sky, a random cascade of fireworks and confetti following him as he tossed back his head to roar…

“Discord!”  Luna gasped, backing up into a battle stance.

“Mmm-yes, quite,” he sighed, drifting back down to the solid dark matter plane which formed the ground beneath the Princess’ hooves.  “You know, it is very rude to interrupt someone when…”

“HAVE AT THEE, FOUL CREATURE!”  Luna charged, lightning bolts cascading from clouds which materialized around her body, held in place by the sheer force of her magic.  As she approached, he yawned and side-stepped easily, sending her crashing into her sister.

“Ow,” Celestia sighed.

“Sorry, sister,” Luna said sheepishly.

“Oh, I’d almost forgotten how much fun you and your sister could be, Luna!”  Discord sang, hovering just over her body and prodding her nose cutely.  “You with your desperate struggling about and futile attempts at combat: it’s just like the good ol’ times!”

“Discord!  Enough!”  Celestia growled, pulling herself out from under Luna and returning to her hooves as fast as lightning.  “I’ve been infinitely patient with you, but if you want, I can call off the deal at any time!”

“Oh please, Princess,” Discord floated over to her and looked her straight in the eye.  “If you had any choice at all, you never would’ve even considered the deal.  And if you’re in a situation that desperate, you are in no position to make any sort of threat.”

“Maybe she isn’t, but I am.”  A calm, collected voice said behind him.  He twirled to see a young Asian man, wearing a full business suit complete with black tie and highly-polished black leather shoes, peering at him from behind a pair of designer eyeglasses.

“Ooh, the Chink brother!  I’ve been hoping you’d show up!”  Discord drifted over to the man, who continued to stare passively off into the darkness.  “Let me guess: your counterparts figured I might be able to pull out the stick that’s been lodged in your rectum since birth?”

“Actually, they thought this battle could use a bit more of a hands-on approach,” the man studied his nails coolly.  “Besides, I was the only one who could spare the extra power.  Heaven knows our forces are spread all over.”

“Ooh, splendid!”  Discord clapped childishly.  “After all, there is only a billion of your kind running around, right?  Who better to make the big sacrifices than the one who can afford it?”

He grinned and danced right up into the man’s face, whispering: “Glad to see our ways of thinking aren’t completely different.  We have some common ground after all, isn’t that splendid?”

Casually brushing a small bit of Discord’s spittle from his jacket, the man reached up and grabbed him by the tuft of hair on his chin, dragging him down to glare directly into his eyes.  “With a mere thought, I could cast you into one of many supermassive black holes present in one of the universes which has no underlying framework to support magic.  And yes, both those things exist, and yes, they are absolutely impossible to escape from.  Just you, alone, in the dark, without your ability to conjure so much as a chocolate milk-soaked marshmallow, forever.”

For the slightest moment, the tiniest bit of fear crept into his mismatched, blood-red eyes, then that insufferable smile returned to Discord’s face.  He pulled himself free of the man’s grip with ease, “Oh, do quit the melodramatics, little one.”

“If we’ve had enough jabbing at each other for one day,” Celestia stepped forward.  “Could we please get back on-task?  Swarm…or, I’m sorry, which name did you wish to go by?”

“Chen Li.”  The man replied, taking one of her glass slipper-covered hooves in one hand and kissing it.  “At your service, Princess.”

Blushing, Celestia quickly regained her composure, “Well, Mr. Li, your European counterpart informed me that you would need time to prepare for battle.”

“Indeed I do,” the man replied, “If you don’t mind…”

“Oh, not at all.  Take as long as you need, my good sir.”

Bowing, the man extended his arms out as far as they could go and brought his hands together in a massive clap that echoed off into the eternal distance.  Starting at the sleeves, his suit transformed into a silken white robe in the space of a second, glistening in the semi-darkness.   The fine shoes became padded slippers, engineered for absolutely perfect motion and traction, and the glasses disappeared from his face.  The businessman was now gone, replaced by the ultimate hand-to-hand warrior.  “Thank you for your patience,” he said, bowing once more.

“Showoff,” Discord mumbled.

“Brilliant!”  Celestia gushed as she returned to her sister’s side.  Realizing Luna hadn’t said anything in the past few minutes, she looked to the Princess of the Night and found her staring wide-eyed at the scene, eyes darting from Discord to the man and back again, mouth hanging open.

“Luna, dearest, you’re going to catch flies like that.”

“I…” Luna started, trailed off, swallowed, and attempted a reboot, “I…that’s a human!”

“Yep!”  Celestia said cheerfully.

“And Discord!”

“Yep!”

“We’re working with the Lord of Chaos himself and a human to fight an enemy!  This is a thing!  That is happening!”

“Yep!”

The Night Princess turned to her sister, her eyes still wide as dinner plates, “Sister, there is much you have neglected to tell me.”

“Yes,” Celestia sighed, the smile fading, “It is complicated, Luna, but I will try to explain our situation as best as I can.”  

“Take as long as you need,” Li said, “You extended me that courtesy, and so I shall return it.”

“You have my thanks.”  Celestia replied, throwing a now-babbling Luna over her back and hauling her off into the darkness.  

Discord gazed over at Li and grinned, “I wonder what antics those two could get up to while they’re alone.”

“Oh, do try to take this seriously.”  Li sighed with a roll of his eyes, “We are about to face a powerful foe, I would appreciate it if you did not make references to internet phenomena.”

“Molestiaaa…” Discord chimed, “Admit it: it gives you a poner just thinking about it.  Just a little hard.  C’mon.  Admit it.”

Li’s face turned bright red.  “I swear that I have no idea what you are talking about, now could we please try to remain focused on the task…”

A small bit of his pants vibrated, and before Discord could crack another smart-ass comment the man swiftly scooped a small cell phone out of a non-existent pocket and flipped it open, leaving Discord to wonder where the phone had really come from and why a man of nearly God-like power was using a leftover staple from the early 00s.  “Too cheap for an iPhone?”  He asked with a smile.  The man raised a finger at him, nodding along with the person on the other side.

“Yeah,” he said, “We’re all together…uh-huh…okay, I know you won’t be able to close them all, but we just need you to close enough.  Just enough to keep us from getting totally overrun…uh-huh…okay, Sari, I…yes, I love you too…Okay…I will be, buh-bye.”  He smooched the speaker and flipped it shut, shoving the phone into a pocket which promptly blinked right back into non-existence.

“So, who was that little cutie on the other side?”  Discord asked.

“That ‘little cutie’ will be responsible for shutting as many of the portals in this region, blocking the vast majority of the enemy’s forces and possibly giving us the small edge we need to survive this day.  So I would watch my words if I were you.”

Discord sighed, “Fine, sorry I asked.”

“It is okay.  You are forgiven.”

The Lord of Chaos snickered, one of his crooked teeth gleaming at the man, “Well, at least I know why your comrades chose you to help out here.”

“Oh?  And why is that?”

“You’re the one most likely to get under my skin.”

“I believe that is the closest thing to a compliment you have given me thus far.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

Chapter VIII: An American Funeral

The purple blades of grass whipped by Uris’ feet, every step taking him deeper into a forest where the trees were covered in lavender bark, small bits of sparkling glitter constantly showered down on him from above, and where his camouflage uniform was anything but.  Brushing the glitter aside, he vaulted a small family of squirrels sitting down to a picnic of acorns and honey, thanking God for every hour of calisthenics his drill instructor had forced him through.  Around the time he passed his fourth cotton candy patch, Uris had a sudden and terrifying thought: what if the enemy was already here?  There was no telling how long he’d been out.  A whole army of enemy infantry could have landed right here in this forest!

Diving into a bush covered in fat, red berries and violet leaves, Uris calmed his breathing and tried to listen.  The wind rustled through the tree branches, a squirrel chittered angrily at a neighbor over who had claim on an especially large acorn hanging from the tree they shared, and a bird tweeted a perfect C# scale in preparation for a day’s worth of singing.  Grimacing from the cuteness overload, he unzipped his jacket and pulled out the one thing he’d made absolutely certain to keep hidden from his equine saviors: a Beretta sub-compact.  Ten-round mag, .40 caliber rounds, and four spare clips in his pockets.  It wouldn’t be much against a platoon of enemy soldiers armed with SMGs, rifles, and a taste for American blood, but it might give him a fighting chance against a small patrol.

Still struggling to keep his breathing calm, Uris gripped the pistol until his knuckles turned white.  He’d been trained to use a firearm, and had even gone to the range with this particular weapon, but this would be the first time he might actually need to use it in self-defense.  How would he do?  These were the same bastards that killed all those people in Hong Kong and sank a whole damn U.S carrier group, but still, would he even be able to squeeze the trigger with another human being in the sights?  And even if he could, would he be faster than the guy sighting him up?  Quieter?  Stronger?

The trees rustled in the wind again, sending more of that glitter crap raining down on him.  This time he didn’t even blink, not even when a massive sunflower subsequently burst into existence in his hair, though he did curse himself for leaving his helmet behind.  Welp, he figured.  At least it’s in good han…hooves.  That little teal pony seemed like enough of a hothead.  She’ll probably put it to good use.

Wait, had to focus, right.  The enemy could be anywhere right now, surrounding him even as he sat here, having an internal monologue.  Something rustled in the brush nearby, “Or they could be right behind me!”  He gasped, wheeling around to face his opponent, but already it was too late.  A bright yellow streak surrounded by a pinkish hue landed at his feet, followed by a familiar, soft voice screaming: “Mr. Uris!”

“Fluttershy!?”  He exclaimed, finger freezing on the trigger.  “Oh, Goddammit girl!  Dontcha know not to sneak up on a soldier like that!?  Do you have any idea what could’ve happened!?”

“I…I just…” she sniffled in reply, tears materializing in her eyes so fast you’d think they were hooked to Niagara Falls.

“No, of course, you don’t,” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he holstered his weapon.  “Look, let’s just say things might have gone badly, and you could’ve gotten hurt, and I don’t want to see that happen, understand?”  She nodded timidly, her little pink mane bobbing up and down over one of her eyes.  “Holy crap, is there any moment when you guys aren’t head-crushingly adorable?”  

“Um…what do you…”

Before she could finish, a brilliant teal streak tore through the canopy of pink leaves above them and slammed into Uris’ stomach.  Buckling to the ground, the human was left almost completely defenseless against the flurry of hoof kicks and punches Rainbow Dash followed up with.  “TRYIN’ TO ESCAPE, HUH?  MEET UP WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS TO ATTACK EQUESTRIA, IS THAT YER ANGLE!?”  She shrieked.

“Rainbow Dash, don’t!”  Fluttershy squeaked, pulling her friend off Uris, “He was only trying…”

“Trying to pull something!  This guy’s dangerous and it’s time you pushed the hair out of your eyes and saw it!”  RD bellowed right into Fluttershy’s face.  In response, the yellow pegasus whined ever so slightly, choking back a sob as tears welled up again.  

Sighing, Rainbow ran a hoof through her mane as she backed away.  “Look, Fluttershy, I didn’t mean…” she caught the human’s reflection in one of Fluttershy’s tears, noticing it reach for something, “Oh my sweet Celestia, WHAT’S THAT YOU GOT YOU TWO-LEGGED FREAK!?”

“What, I don’t got any-“ he looked down and realized, to his horror, that his hand was reaching into his jacket, already wrapped around the Beretta’s grip.  “-thing…oh, freakin’ military training!”  He screamed, realizing he’d gone for the pistol on instinct.

“SOME KINDA WEAPON!?  HUH!?”  Nearly breaking the light barrier, Rainbow Dash landed back on Uris’ chest and engaged in a tug of war with his wrist, with the human trying to keep his hand shoved into his jacket while she tried to pull it out.

“Damn it all, leggo!”  He shouted.  “It’s none a’ your business!”

“If it’s a weapon, it sure as buck is my business!”

“<Nnf>, jeez, how are you so strong!?”

They continued back and forth like that for a few minutes, with Fluttershy watching in growing concern as they both grew visibly more frustrated, their tempers quickly reaching the boiling point when Uris suddenly grabbed Dash by the back of her mane and threw her off.  “YOU WANNA SEE WHAT I GOT HERE!?”  He screamed, tearing the jacket’s buttons to rip it open, “I’VE GOT THIS!”

Without even looking he turned, whipped the pistol out of his jacket, and fired straight up into the air.  The shot boomed off into the wilderness, slicing through the peaceful day like a katana covered in acid through a plate of Jell-O.  Everything: the birds, the squirrels chittering at each other, even Rainbow Dash, fell silent.

Then a bird fell out of the sky and landed by Uris’ feet, a massive hole in its chest.

“OHMYGOSH!”  Fluttershy gasped, rushing to the little avian’s side and beginning mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, which only resulted in a small burst of blood and feathers whistling into the air every few moments.  It was both the most hilarious and the most tragic thing Uris had seen in his short career with the armed forces.  

“So that’s what that does, huh?”  Rainbow Dash asked from beside him in a surprisingly small voice.  Uris just nodded, slowly holstering the weapon.  She sighed, “Oh man, we’re in it now.”

“Why?  What’s gonna happen?”

“Do you have any idea how much that girl loves animals?”  

Before he could reply, Fluttershy looked up at them, tears streaming down her little yellow cheeks.  “He’s…” she sniffled, wiping at her nose with her hoof, “He’s…dead.”  

Rainbow Dash looked up at him expectedly, waiting for him to do something.  “Whaddya want from me!?”  He said, “It’s not like I can bring the dead back or anything!”

“No, just make them.”  Fluttershy whimpered, wiping at her nose again as her lower lip trembled ever so delicately.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” he sighed, “I mean; just what do you expect me to do here?  Hold a funeral?”


Uris tilted his head back.  The dot in the middle of the green light was now about the size of a dime; he could almost see a sort of circular motion he thought might be rotors.  But that was okay: he still had time.  He could still make it through this in one piece.  It would be hours before that thing would land, and by then he could be long gone and back safe and sound in camp.  So he returned to what he was doing.  “Uh…life…and death…” he stammered, supporting himself on the wooden plank with the words “some damn bird” scrawled on it (he’d made it himself) that they were using as a makeshift gravestone.  Oh, this was so ridiculous.  Here he was, cut off from the rest of his platoon, possibly suffering from a mild concussion, and about to wind up in the middle of a massive aerial assault on a group of utterly defenseless ponies, and he was giving the eulogy at a bird’s funeral!?

Whatever, just had to get this over with.  Where was he?  Oh, right.  “Life…and death!”  He said somewhat more confidently.

“You just said that.”  Rainbow Dash remarked, leaning casually against the gravestone.

Fluttershy shooed her away from the grave and motioned for Uris to continue.  “Alright, life and death…are…two…things.”

“Spoken like a true playwright.”  Dash snickered.

Silencing her with a glare, Fluttershy stared intently at Uris.  Sighing, he scanned the other ponies, mostly just hanging around the grave staring awkwardly at him (except for Pinkie Pie, who had somehow appeared in a black funeral veil with an embroidered handkerchief).  Trying to steady his nerves, Uris tried: “They are…two…things…which are very…important.”

“Oh for Celestia’s sake!”  Rarity sighed, nudging Uris out of the way, “I’m sorry, dearie, but this obviously calls for someone with a bit more eloquence.”  Clearing her throat, she suddenly threw herself atop the freshly-dug grave and sobbed, her whole body spasming from the sheer force of her cries: “WHA-HI-HI-HHYYYYYYYY!?  HE WAS SO YOUNG!  SO MUCH AHEAD OF HIM!  WHY, WORLD!?  WHYYYYYY!?”

Brushing herself off, she stood up again and bowed.  “There, you see?  That is how you grieve for a lost one.”

Everyone else stared at her for a second before Rainbow Dash sighed.  “Okay all, moving along.”

“He was…cute?”  Fluttershy shrugged.

“That he was.”  Uris added, trying to be helpful.

“I…think that is sufficient for the loss of a bird,” Twilight said.  “Okay everyone, back to Fluttershy’s cabin for some dinner before it gets cold.”

“Ooh!  And then we can throw a funeral party!”  Pinkie said, tearing off her veil with a sudden burst of confetti and bounding off in the direction of Fluttershy’s cabin.

“Pinkie, no!  A funeral is supposed to be a solemn affair, dedicated to the remembrance of those we have lost!”  Twilight yelled after her as she gave chase.

“And what better way to remember someone than with a huge part-ay!?”

“No, what?  Pinkie!  PINKIIIIEEEEEEEEEE…”

“Well,” Applejack sighed, finally looking up from the blade of grass she had been studying intently throughout the funeral, “Ah better check on dinner, make sure those two don’t mess it all up.”

“I’ll join you.”  Rainbow Dash said, swooping by her.

“Oh, NOW y’all wanna help with dinner?”

“Hey!  I can be handy in a kitchen.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it, Rainbow…”

Fluttershy and Uris watched the two friends set off arguing, leaving them alone by the grave.  With the sun setting over the hills behind them, casting a deep red glow over the landscape, Uris figured now might be a good time to try and patch a few things up.  “Look, I really am sorry about what happened to the bird.  I got a bit carried away when I really shouldn’t have.”

“It’s okay,” Fluttershy said, “Really.  Dash can get under anyone’s skin.”

“Yeah, I can see how.”

“She’s just trying to protect what she loves, that’s all.”

“You know what; I think I can respect that.”

“That’s good.”

He was fumbling around in his mind, trying to come up with something new to say, when he caught a glance of her in the fading light.  The deep red of the sunset caught her mane in just the right way, making the most beautiful shade of pink he’d ever seen in his life, practically glowing in sharp contrast to her yellow body.  Her wings spread out behind her as she prepared to take off after her friends, and immediately the hue of light around her made her look like…

“…an angel.”  He muttered.

“I’m sorry, what?”  She asked.

“Nothing!  Nothing at all!  Let’s just…go see what’s for dinner, huh?  It’s been quite a day.”

“Oh yes, I’m actually famished right now.”  She said, hovering just beside him as they slowly walked along to rejoin the rest of the ponies gathered near her home.  Still, he was so transfixed by her sudden beauty (and whether this meant he was a zoophile or not) and everyone else so distracted by their own issues that nobody even noticed when Pinkie cut off mid-sentence.

“And we’ll have cake and ice cream and…” she paused, a massive shiver travelling up from her hooves and into her body, shaking her shoulders and wracking her mane.  Curious, she scanned around.  This was nothing like the other shakes her Pinkie-sense had given her.  It felt serious, yes, but she couldn’t quite understand the danger.  But with everyone so busy and all trying to talk at the same time, she guessed she might as well just dismiss it as a random tremble.  

So much could have been averted if she hadn’t.  If she had brought it up, Uris might have overheard the ponies all talking about her sudden spike of Pinkie-sense.  Once he learned it was a sort of early-warning system for danger, he might have whirled around and noticed one of three things.

The first would be the little dots appearing all around the main dot in the middle of the green light in textbook skydiving formation.

The second would be the parachutes opening up in the skies over someplace far in the distance, then maybe, just maybe, if he’d listened very closely, he might have noticed the sound of gunfire and the explosions of mortar impacts rumbling off in their direction.

And third and most importantly, he might have spotted the man dressed all in gray with camouflage netting draped over his shoulders, spying on them through a pair of binoculars from just inside the brush at the edge of the Everfree forest.

With a grimace, the man in the camouflage disappeared into the bush and motioned to another man nearby, standing over a large wooden box with a headset plugged into it.  Pressing the set’s mouthpiece to his lips, he whispered in a strange and guttural language, “<Fritzstaff One here, natives encountered with one apparent hostile.  Apparently U.S Armed Forces.>”

“<Roger that, Fritzstaff One, you are clear to engage.>” A voice replied.  The first man promptly returned the set to its place on the box and motioned for the second to hide it deep in the bush.  He then made one, simple hand gesture to the rest of the men with him and, without a sound, they spread out through the bush in a perfect assault formation.

Chapter IX: Vance's Secret

Vance glared at the map unfolded on the table before him, right next to the partially-assembled pistol.  The number of blank O’s had dwindled to almost nothing, while the number of X’s had skyrocketed.  “Where are you, boy?  Why can’t I bring you home?”  He wondered aloud.

“Captain?”  Parker asked from behind him, “We’ve got news.”  

Vance turned grimly.  He knew from Parker’s tone of voice that they still hadn’t found the pilot.  And if they hadn’t found the pilot, the only other news he could possibly have was…

“It’s the enemy, sir.  They’ve landed.  We’re spotting parachute drops all over.”

Vance nodded.  When he spoke again, it was with the almost machine-like authority of a true commander, his voice reeking with authority: “Send runners out to get the search teams back.  Have everybody still in-camp prepare for an assault.  We are going to meet the enemy wherever he lands.”

“Yes sir, but there’s something else.”  

“Oh?”

“The enemy dropped a bit far from where we expected.  A good ten, twenty miles off from where intel said they would.”

“Trip through the portal must’ve thrown ‘em off; good to know they’re as new to jumping between worlds as we are,” Vance mumbled.

“What was that, sir?”

“Nothing, Lieutenant, just thinking out loud.  Now, are we still emplaced to intercept any sort of assault on Grid Alpha?”

“Yes sir, this is still the only real opening in the area.  The enemy knows they need this clearing to marshal their strength.  But this new area they dropped into…” he sighed, “Those maps we got show a small village in the area.  It’s local name is ‘Coltton’.  Population of Two, maybe three-hundred pon…natives.”

Vance scowled, “Damn, there’s no way we can be mobile before the enemy overruns that village.”

“No, sir.”

“Where is it, anyway?”

“Um…” Parker walked over to the map on the desk, scanned it for a quick second, and swiftly jammed a finger down on one spot.  “Right here, sir.”

Vance looked over the map, and almost immediately his scowl turned into a grin. “Oh, really?”

He said knowingly.

“Sir?”

“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that village, Lieutenant.  You see, intel was worried the enemy might detect our forces and use that area as a launching point for a flanking maneuver, so they made sure there’d be a little surprise waiting in case they did.”

“What surprise, sir?”

“That’s on a need to know basis, Lieutenant,” Vance replied.  “Just trust me when I say the little ponies in that village have nothing to worry about.”


Shining Armor had never been more terrified in his life.  I don’t understand, he thought, This can’t be happening.  I’m on my honeymoon, for pity’s sake!

The tiny village of Colton had seemed like the perfect choice for a week away from the hustle and bustle of Canterlot.  Just him and his new wife, Cadence, in a quaint little village nestled in the Everfree Forest for a week.  Sure, she had been somewhat iffy about heading off to such a small, isolated town, especially after the battle with the changelings, but just one whiff of that fresh country air had changed her mind, and together they had enjoyed a week together in their small but cozy inn room.

Then these strange bipeds appeared with their exotic weapons which spat fire every time they moved one of the fleshy growths at the ends of their arms.  The attack had come so suddenly that the town guard hadn’t even awakened to counter it, not that there was much they could have done.  The attackers rounded up everypony so quickly that some were still rubbing sleep from their eyes as they marched, having been dragged from their warm, soft beds to join the long train of ponies being forced through town.  Eventually, they passed the squat log cabin which served as the town hall, now a flaming ruin which served to illuminate the frightened ponies and the strange bipeds that watched over them with squinty little eyes and dark, ugly weapons.  Shining slowed his pace for a second to get a better look, managing to catch a glimpse of the equine bodies lying here and there by the building’s collapsed façade, the mayor among them.  Then a biped ran up and shoved his weapon in Shining’s face, screaming in that guttural language they’d been using and prompting him to keep moving.

I shouldn’t have opened the door, he thought mournfully, bowing his head and trying very hard to remain unnoticed.  He should have just stayed in his room and ignored the whistling sounds and the explosions reducing town hall to rubble.  But he’d been curious, in a morbid sort of way, and concerned for the safety of anypony near the hall, so he’d gone dashing outside and straight into the arms of the half-dozen or so bipeds rounding up everypony at the inn.  Now, here he was, in the middle of what was supposed to be his week to relax, being marched off like a common farm animal to Celestia-knows-where!

As they trundled along, an older pony strayed off the path, wandering just a bit out of line with his fellow ponies.  With a cold efficiency, a biped strode up to the older stallion and cracked him on the back of the head with the heavy stock of his weapon.  Mortified, Shining Armor could only watch as the biped dragged the stallion into a darkened alleyway, and a moment later a single crack of one of the biped’s weapons being discharged sounded off into the night, the alleyway illuminated for the quickest instant.  One of the younger fillies screamed, but thankfully her parents kept her in the line, shuffling along with their heads bowed low.  The message had been received loud and clear.

At the very least, Shining could take comfort in the fact that his dearest Cadence was safe, hiding beneath the couch in their room.  Oh, but how long would that last?  How long before the bipeds did a more thorough search of the village?   And even if it didn’t come to that, would he ever see her again?  Pushing these thoughts down, he looked up just as the long train left the village proper and entered the wilderness around them.  At least now the darkness of the forest would make it harder for his captors to see him.  For all their might, these bipeds didn’t appear to have any sort of night vision worth mentioning.  “Or even have much brawn to look at, for that matter,” he added under his breath.  It was amazing that a bunch of bipeds wrapped in soft, pink tissue (like you’d find on a naked mole rat) could be so intimidating!  But the gray uniforms and sinister, dark green helmets they all wore made everypony avert their gaze as they systematically scanned the column leaving town.  Where these bipeds had come from was anypony’s guess.  Where they were going was everypony’s concern.  

The column was forced to stop along a large drainage ditch at the edge of town, and a sudden burst of fear threatened to overwhelm Shining Armor’s mind.  He didn’t know why, but something seemed very wrong with this setup: the way so many ponies were being lined up right in front of the ditch, the way the bipeds watched them while forming their own line with a grim determination in their eyes.  This isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this, he realized in horror, They’ve done it before.  Celestia help us all, they’re experienced!

One of the bipeds, wearing a lavish coat covered in medals, stood at the end of the line with his fist raised.  The others raised their weapons and leveled them on the line of ponies just across from them.  Most of the ponies gasped, some cried.  Shining Armor didn’t move.  On some level, he’d been expecting this.

“ONE!”  The leader screamed, and a series of clicks resounded from all the biped’s weapons.  The crying intensified.  A hoof brushed by Shining’s own, and he looked over to see the little, pink barmare from his inn, still wearing her apron.  Her hoof had accidentally brushed past his, her whole body quivering in fear.

“TWO!”  The other bipeds steadied their aim.  Shining seized the hoof and squeezed for all he was worth.  The barmare yelped in fright and looked at him, but quickly returned the squeeze.  Nodding to one another, their eyes slid shut in anticipation.

Then, the strangest thing happened.  An unusually large stallion appeared just outside the line of trees nearby, near the farms.  Silhouetted by the full moon above, the stallion walked in a strange, lopsided fashion right out into the open.  All eyes turned to the newcomer, including the bipeds’.  Shining Armor didn’t even look, simply grateful for the few extra moments of life the newcomer had just bought him.

One of the bipeds stepped out of line and started screaming at the stallion, waving his weapon in the air.  The stallion’s only response was to rear up on his hind legs and point his front hooves at them, in much the same manner they held some of their weapons.  Taking this as some act of defiance, a few other bipeds walked up beside the first and began advancing on the stallion, most with their weapons at their side or just held at the ready for a serious clubbing.  The rest of the bipeds hanging back joked amongst themselves, believing this to be a small oversight which would soon be corrected as yet another example for the town’s populace.  Certainly, this could only end with one more dead stallion and a bit more fear instilled in the rest.

Suddenly, a loud series of cracks sounded out, not too unlike the sounds the bipeds’ weapons made.  A pair of brilliant little flares appeared out of the stallion’s hooves.  The three bipeds advancing on it dropped with telltale wounds all over their chests and necks, one of them still screaming, the others staring blankly up at the night sky.  At that the other bipeds leapt into action, yelling in their language and spraying in the direction of the stallion, who simply back-flipped right into the cover of the trees behind him.  Then, with the bipeds distracted with the stallion on their side, another series of cracks and pops and little flares appeared from the forest on the opposite end, slicing them down before they even had a chance to turn.

It was all over in less than a minute.  The bipeds, once so proud and intimidating, now all lay in a massive pile, most of them dead, some moaning and screaming as blood colored their once-intimidating uniforms a crimson red.  The ponies watched with a mixture of horror and fascination as yet another group of bipeds appeared from the forest (‘appeared’ being the exact word Shining Armor would have used if he were to write about his experiences this night) as the bipeds seemed to materialize just within the line of trees, covered in pink camo netting.  They all approached the line of ponies with their weapons raised, but pointed at the fallen group of bipeds.  Some of the newcomers swiftly broke off to check on the fallen, while one of them raised his hand and let out a short, loud whistle.  At the sound, the stallion appeared from the forest again, walking on his hind legs, shedding the hooves and horse-like head to reveal a smaller, helmeted head as he approached.

He’s one of them, Shining Armor realized as the newcomer approached, grinning like a madman.  Most ponies immediately took a few pre-emptive steps back, and the biped stopped, the grin fading to a more neutral expression.  Laying his weapon on the ground, the biped advanced more slowly, with his hands outstretched.  “My name is Lieutenant Miller with the Equestrian Expeditionary Force, part of the United States Armed Forces,” he said unexpectedly.  “We are here to help.”

Immediately, everypony in sight bolted for the wilderness, becoming just a hundred streaks of color rushing off into the darkness.  All, of course, except for Shining Armor.  “Eh, that’s kinda what I expected,” the biped mumbled before looking down at Shining.  “Well?  What about you?”

Shining stood his ground and glared right into the biped’s eyes.  “You’re fighting those other pink-skins, aren’t you?”

“That is horrifically insensitive from a racial standpoint,” the biped replied automatically, motioning over his shoulder to a dark-skinned biped gearing up with the others.  “But yeah, we are.”

“And you’re going to take that little town over there,” Shining shrugged over his own shoulder at the village behind him.  “Right?”

“It’s the only thing worth having in this sector.”

“And what are you going to do when you get up there?”

“Uh…” as if to answer for him, one of the gray-uniformed bipeds started moaning, and out of reflex, the newcomer closest to him whipped out a small weapon and put a hole in its head, the shot echoing off into the distance as the moaning came to an abrupt stop.  “Pretty much that, yeah.”

Without another word, Shining Armor trotted over to join the bipeds, most of them immediately pausing in what they were doing to stare, some still halfway through reassembling their weapons.  After a few moments of awkward silence, Shining took a deep breath and announced: “My name is Shining Armor of the Royal Canterlot guard.  I specialize in shields and magical defense, and I want you to help me save my wife.”

The leader studied him, analyzing every little thing he could see about Shining, from the way he carried himself to the look he had in his eyes.  After a few minutes, Shining apparently passed some mental test and the leader spoke: “Your wife’s in there?”

Shining nodded, “We’re on our honeymoon.”

“You said you had training?”

“Royal Canterlot guard, the best there is.”

“And you’re willing to lay down your life for this woman?”

Shining Armor took a few minutes to compose just the right response: “I was trained for most of my adult years to lay down my life for the Royal Court, sliding into the mindset of somebody willing to die for a couple of mares he barely even knew.  Compared to that, I figure I shouldn’t have any trouble sacrificing myself for Cadence.”

The leader, along with half the bipeds around him, grinned.  “Welcome to Seal Team Six, Mr. Armor.”

Chapter X: The Enemy Shows His Face

Discord eyed Swarm from his chocolate milk cloud as the man practiced for the upcoming battle.  While the Lord of Chaos watched, the man went from a cross-legged sitting position into an explosive upwards kick, followed with a flurry of punches right at throat level and a haymaker to an invisible assailant behind him, all in the same amount of time most people took to blink.  It was the most impressive display of hand-to-hand combat in the known universe.  Of course, Discord would rather die than let Swarm know he thought so.

“Let me know when you’re done prancing about,” the Lord of Chaos chided.  “I would rather like to take a nap until then.”

“Why should I awake you?”  Swarm asked.  “So you may annoy me even further?”

“So I AM getting under your skin!”  Discord smiled and squeezed a small jet of chocolate milk out of his cloud and directly into his own mouth, smiling cockily.  “It seems not even the all-powerful Swarm is immune to my incredible abilities.”

In a split second between shifting his weight from one foot to the next, Swarm flicked his finger in Discord’s direction, instantly transforming his chocolate milk cloud into an iron anvil.  The Lord of Chaos promptly fell flat on his face, pinning his tail beneath the anvil while simultaneously cracking his nose against its metal surface.  “An anvil!?”  He shouted, straightening out his nose.  “What, have you watched too many of your brother’s cartoons!?”

“I thought you would like the Warner Brother’s feel to it.”  Swarm replied smartly, seguing smoothly from a standing lotus position to a perfectly executed front-kick and back again.  Sneering, the Lord of Chaos focused all his magical might into transforming the anvil into a puddle of vegetable oil, which he promptly sent off in Swarm’s direction.  In response, a small bubble of dark matter suddenly appeared beneath the man’s feet, barely enough for his big toe to fit on, but still he balanced perfectly.  The oil deflected around the bubble, unable to penetrate its meta-universal existence.  The entire time, the look of focus and serenity remained completely unchanged on his face.

“You could’ve just sent it back at me,” Discord said dryly.

“I am not one to act in vengeance,” the man replied, switching his balancing point to his other big toe.

“Then what the hell was that Animaniacs bullcrap!?”

“That was a demonstration; nothing more, nothing less.”

“Oh, you’re no fun.” Discord grumbled and retreated to a small stool in the corner to pout.  But even the sheer impossibility of there being a corner in a little pocket dimension between worlds composed primarily of exotic matter wasn’t enough to cheer him up.  “God, I wish the Yank was here.  Or even the Kraut.  At least they know how to party.”

“If it is a party you wish for, it is a party you shall soon get.”

Discord rocketed up to the man and growled right in his face.  “Was that a threat, boy?”

“Look in the sky, fool.”  

Discord looked.  His jaw dropped.  High above them, a small, green light had appeared with a helicopter at its center.  Swarm whipped out his cell phone.  “Yeah?  Honey, they’re right above us…  Okay, just redirect as many portals as you can, close whatever you can’t.  We got people on the ground in Equestria that can handle whatever you miss.  Okay, sweetheart?  Okay.”  Then, in a quiet tone, he kissed the speaker and whispered: “Love you,” before flipping the phone shut.  By then, Discord had already run off to retrieve the princesses from their time bubble.  He could only hope Celestia had prepared her sister for what was to come.


Luna sat upright as she and her sister hovered in their little time bubble, set aside just for them to have a few moments of privacy.  She periodically sipped from her tea cup, grateful for the pot hovering between them.  It kept her nerves calm as Celestia continued:

“It started about a year ago: I noticed certain weaknesses developing in certain…places, for lack of a better word.”

“What places would that be, dear sister?”  Luna asked, sampling a cracker from the plate hovering by the teapot.

“Oh, just random places.  Mostly isolated little spots in the middle of nowhere where the magic seemed to be draining.  A bit like water flowing through a crack, but a crack that I could neither see nor feel.  Our best unicorns could detect nothing, however, so I dismissed these weaknesses as nothing more than a natural fluctuation in the magical field around Equestria.  For weeks, this continued, until about a year ago, when a strange pony appeared at the gates.”

“Strange?  How?”

“Well, this pony just felt…off. He carried himself not too unlike that ‘Doctor’ fellow when he first arrived, like he just wasn’t used to walking about in a pony form.  He introduced himself as Swarm and immediately called for a royal audience.”

“And you just granted him one?”

“Before the guards turned him away, he named off every one of their dead relatives and their causes of death.  That information is only available in the Royal Archives, which are under heavy guard at all times.  I figured this pony must have had something interesting to say, if he was able to know so much.”

“And how did that meeting go, sister?”

“It was…interesting, to say the least.  Halfway through what I thought was idle conversation about the possible existence of alternate realities and the fundamental basics of the universe, he suddenly asked if he could change into something a bit more comfortable.  This puzzled me at first, as like most ponies, he was not clothed, but I granted him permission to do so.”

“Let me guess,” Luna munched on her cracker.  “He turned into that humanoid figure we left back there?”

“Actually, the Swarm I met with was Mr. Li’s brother, an American by the name of Michael Sawyer.”

Luna paused in munching her cracker.  “Heavens above, Celestia, how many Swarms are there?”

“At my count, there are at least five brothers and one sister who refer to themselves as Swarm.  They, in turn, have the ability to create ‘offshoots,’ beings with their likenesses that give each of the six ‘original’ Swarms the ability to operate on multiple worlds at once.”

Luna set her cracker aside, her appetite all but gone now.  “They ‘operate’ on multiple worlds?”

“Just to help out, maybe guide them down less-destructive paths, but usually to ensure that periodic fluctuations in time itself do not unleash too much destruction.  Think of Swarm as reality’s cleanup crew for quantum fluctuations, ensuring that such do not annihilate entire civilizations and aiding some planets that still manage to be affected.”

Luna rubbed her temples.  “He guides entire civilizations down less-destructive paths?”

“That’s more of a hobby than anything.  He’s told me himself: he believes a people should be left to build their own world, not let some God step in and force them down a path he thinks might be preferable.  But if there could be serious bloodshed…” she shrugged.  “He tries to make it more likely for a people to follow a different path, that’s all.”

Luna sat down, pouring herself another cup of tea and staring vacantly into the darkness around them.  She spilled a few searing hot-drops onto her leg, but didn’t seem to notice.  “So, there’s a girl Swarm too, huh?”  She asked, unsure of what else she could possibly say.

Celestia grinned.  “Nasreen Hazarika, a Sikh woman who appears to be of Punjabi descent.”

“I wish I knew what some of those words meant!”  Luna laughed, and her sister joined in.

“Don’t worry, sister, you get used to these ideas over time!”

“One thing though: why choose the name Swarm?  Doesn’t it seem odd?”

The smile waivered on Celestia’s face.  “I’m afraid he hasn’t revealed that to me.  He just tells me it has to do with his origins, which he says are ‘complicated.’  Although…” Celestia scratched her chin.  “Discord did indicate that he might know something about those origins at our last meeting…”

“Oh, I’m sure he was just pulling your hoof, Tia,” Luna scoffed as she grabbed a fresh cracker from the plate.  “If Swarm will not divulge his origins to you, why would he do so with one such as ‘him’?”  She added a distasteful inflection to her last word, not even wishing to utter the Lord of Chaos’s name.  

“I don’t know, sister,” Celestia said thoughtfully.  “Discord made it pretty clear that he has the ability to travel through other universes as well.  At least, on some level.  Could it be that he might have witnessed Swarm’s genesis himself?”

“Oh come now, what are the odds of that!?”  Luna waved her hoof dismissively.

“Quite good, actually,” the Lord of Chaos replied smartly as his head materialized next to her.  Surprised, she lost her grip on her tea cup and cracker, sending them spinning into the void below them.

“Discord!”  Celestia screamed irritably.  “This is a private conversation, you know that…”

“Yes, I do hate to break up your little tea party, but we have INCOMING!”  He screamed, grabbing them both by the mane and dragging them out of the time bubble.  Swarm was already waiting for them.  He turned around just as Discord returned with the princesses, who somehow ignored the fact that he clenched their manes in his claws and stared upwards, jaws agape.

“That’s the enemy, huh?”  Luna said.

“Yes, dear sister.”  Celestia said.

“Oh, well, if that’s all they’re gonna send, this shouldn’t be too…”

Suddenly, another portal appeared next to the first.  Then another.  And another.  In the space of a second, hundreds of portals opened in the sky above their heads, each crowded with dozens of soldiers cramming their way through.  Being nearly god-like, each of the beings below could sense the surprise flooding through each of the soldiers’ minds at appearing in this time bubble rather than a cute, little, pink forest, but at the sight of Swarm, that surprise gave way to a grim determination, slowly melting away to an entire army ready to annihilate the four little figures below them.

“You just HAD to comment, didntcha?”  Discord sighed at Luna.

“What’s the plan!?”  Celestia barked.

“You three take the half over there,” Swarm said, hooking his thumb over his shoulder at the sky behind him.  “I shall handle the other half.”

“Bit egotistical, are we?”  Discord said dryly.

“No, just pragmatic,” the man replied with a wink, raising his fists.  

Chapter XI: Hay Soup and Quantum Physics

Uris was absolutely focused.  Nothing could possibly divert his attention from this: not the other ponies, not the large green spot in the sky, not even the fact that he was eating soup made from boiled hay.  His spoon descended into his bowl and rose to his mouth, his chin falling just enough to allow the soup access before the spoon returned to the bowl and the whole process started all over again.  He mechanically cycled through, all the while keeping his gaze frozen on the little pony across from him.  Rainbow Dash returned the glare and the mechanical procedure: spoon, mouth, repeat.  Their eyes remained locked on each other.  Neither of them had blinked in the past five minutes.

The rest of the Elements of Harmony watched uncomfortably.  “Um…” Fluttershy said, hoping to break the silence.  “Wa-would anypony like a bit of hayseed to go with their soup?”

“Yes, thank you.”  Uris and Dash barked.  Wincing, the little yellow pegasus hovered over to them with her personal bag of seed, sprinkling a bit in each of their soups with shaking hooves before instantly retreating to her side of the table.  At no point did Uris and Dash break eye contact.

“Jeez, this is like sittin’ at a dinner where Celestia and Queen Chrysalis are the guests of honor!”  Applejack whispered to her friends.

“I say, why can’t those two just get along?”  Rarity added.

“Well, it only makes sense,” Twilight said.  “They’re both equally stubborn and equally hot-headed.  And if opposites attract, I suppose like forces…”

“We are NOT like forces!”  Dash and Uris screamed in unison at Twilight, then immediately turned back to each other.  “Stop copying me!”  They shouted, once again, in unison.   “No, you’re the one copying me!  Stop it!  It’s annoying!”  They both stood up from the table, “I’m warning you, you better stop it or I’ll…”

“SO!  Mr. Uris,” Twilight shouted.  “What’s say you finally tell us how a bipedal hominid wound up in Equestria, huh?”

“What?”  Uris asked.

“In English, poindexter,” Rainbow added.

“Fer Celestia’s sake; howdja git here, boy!?”  AJ said.  “Ah mean, we know ya ain’t from around these parts, so where do ya call home?”

Uris leaned back in his chair, sipped from his soup, winced with the realization that he was basically eating hay in hot water, and shoved the bowl aside.  “I already told Miss Sparkle that I’m not at liberty to divulge that information.”

“Tch, the idiot probably doesn’t even know how it happened,” Dash snickered, sipping passively from her own bowl.

“That’s not true!  I do so know!”

“Actually, I guess that wouldn’t surprise me,” Twilight said disappointedly.  “I mean, you’re just a soldier, right?  Why would they bother to go over all the details with…um…”

“Some nameless grunt?”  AJ added helpfully.

“Oh, I wouldn’t put it that callously.”

“But I do know, okay!?  I do!”

“Then prove it!”  Dash barked, glaring at him.  He returned the glare, sitting up in his seat.  

“Fine, I will.  Now, do any of you believe in alternate realities?”

“Oh for Celestia’s sake!”  Rarity sighed.  “Is he going to start talking like Twilight now!?”

“I’ll try my best not to,” Uris grinned.

“I have.”  Twilight said, raising her hoof.  “It was a concept thought up by Starswirl the Bearded in his later years.”

“Oh, but of course it was.”

Ignoring him, Twilight continued: “He thought it up after his experiments with time traveling spells.  Once he determined it was possible to send somepony back in time, he started getting really abstract.  It’s definitely one of his more ‘out there’ ideas.”

“And?  What is this all-powerful, weirdo idear?”  AJ asked.

“Basically, he figured his time travel spells weren’t actually sending ponies back in time.  He thought the threat of a paradox was too great, and so he believed they were actually travelling to a different universe similar to that pony’s own.”

She was greeted with a blank stare from everyone around her.  “Wow, they did not go over anything like that in the briefing,” Uris said.

“Gee, I wonder why?”  Dash said sarcastically, and he shot her a look.

“Getting back on track,” Twilight said quickly.  “Starswirl theorized that every possible outcome for something probable created a separate universe, including any changes that pony made to the past.”

“They actually explained it pretty well in my briefing,” Uris chimed in as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter.  “Let’s say I flip this coin.  No reason for it, I just do.”  With that, he flicked it into the air with his thumb.  The quarter tumbled over and over again before landing heads-up on the table, where everypony could see it.  “Now, there were two possibilities here: the coin could’ve landed tails-I mean, with the other side up, which I call tails, or with this side up, which we can call heads.”

“Perfect!”  Twilight clapped her hooves together.  “He’s illustrated it perfectly!”

“So,” Dash said.  “What you’re sayin’ is we just created another universe?  This one, where the coin landed heads-up…”

“…And another where it landed tails-up,” Uris finished.

“Cute, but a coupla coin flips don’t really tell us where you came from.”

“But they do, Rainbow!”  Twilight gasped in realization.  “Because this sort of thing doesn’t just happen for stupid little events like coin-flips!  They also happen for massive, earth-shattering events, like historical occurrences, or…”

“…Or evolutionary events,” Uris finished.  “Like a buncha monkeys rising to become the dominant species on their planet, rather than some horses.”

The entire table fell silent as everypony tried to absorb what had just been described to them.  “A whole planet of people like Uris,” Fluttershy breathed.

“Dang, if they’re all like him, we’re screwed,” Rainbow Dash snickered.

Ignoring her, Pinkie immediately vaulted over the table and landed in Uris’ lap.  “So there’s a whole other planet out there with people like you!?  What’s it like!?  Do they all dress like you!?  Do they know about the galactic overlords responsible for…”

Uris covered her mouth with his hand, watching in astonishment as she kept right on talking.  He removed his hand, “…and do you like to eat hay and do your horses ever tell you how annoying Mr. Ed is because everypony knows what a racist little fu…” he covered her mouth again, and she kept right on going.

“Does this have an off-switch anywhere?”  He asked.

“We wish,” AJ grumbled.  “Just let ‘er say her peace, she’ll get tired of talkin’ sooner or later.”

“Bu-but if you have your own world, what are you doing here?”  Fluttershy asked, “I-I mean, not that you’re intruding or that we wish for you to leave very soon...”

“Speak for yourself,” Dash mumbled.

Uris ignored her and sighed.  “There was an attack.  One of the other worlds, a real nasty one where a very important event in our history played out differently, hit us.  We lost a lot of people, military and civilian.  My…uh…my brother was actually killed.  That’s…that’s why I agreed to go on this assignment.”

The whole table fell silent again.  “Oh my gosh,” Fluttershy gasped.  “Mr. Uris, I’m so sorry.”

“It was a year ago, hon, I’ve had time to get over it.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Dash stood up and raised her hooves.  “Why are you dragging Equestria into all this?  It sounds like something you guys should be handling by yourselves.”

Uris breathed in, and breathed out.  How could he tell them?  How could he make these ponies understand the scope of the war?  The terrors he’d seen?  The way his world had allied itself with a god in order to fight other gods?  Fortunately, he wouldn’t have to, as Pinkie suddenly stuck her tongue out and licked his hand.

“Ew!”  He screamed.  “Dammit, you crazy little…”

Suddenly, she rocketed out of his lap and slammed on his chest, knocking him to the ground just as a sniper’s bullet punched through the chair he’d been sitting in.  Instantly, his adrenaline and training kicking in, Uris folded himself over Pinkie, tucking and rolling with her to land against the wall right beneath the kitchen window, which shattered beneath the a sudden onslaught of gunfire.  “GIRLS!  PINKIE SENSE!  PINKIE SENSE!”  She screamed, and everypony in the room ducked beneath the table, shrieking.  The sound of gunfire made Uris’s blood run cold, but the adrenaline kept him going.  He knew it was the only thing that was going to allow him to survive.

Setting Pinkie aside, Uris drew his pistol and leapt to his feet, firing blindly out the window and ducking down again before the next burst of automatic fire could cut him down.  “IDIOT!”  He screamed at himself.  “I let myself get distracted while the enemy was dropping right on top of us!”

“What’s happening!?”  Rainbow Dash screamed.

“Just stay down, I promise you won’t get hurt!  Just stay close to the ground!”  He knew it would almost be impossible for his equine friends to hear him over the constant chatter of the assault rifles on full auto being blasted at the small house, but somehow they understood the fundamental fact of combat that three instructors had forced down his throat from the moment he had landed in boot camp: stay down, stay alive.

The loud, short bursts were soon punctuated by the all-to-familiar pop of grenade launchers.  Immediately, he grabbed Pinkie under his arm and dove under the table with the rest of the ponies just as the first explosions smashed Fluttershy’s front door to splinters.  

“This is insane!”  Twilight screamed, “What kind of magic do these guys even have!?”

“Something like this!”  Uris held up the pistol.  “Except bigger and way more powerful!”

“So you’re useless, then.”  Dash smirked.

Uris just glared.  “Not now,” he said as the front hallway was torn apart by another handful of grenades and a hail of bullets peppered Fluttershy’s produce drawer.  Before she could reply, he pressed his back against the bottom of the table and pushed, managing to get it a few inches off the ground.

“What are you doing!?”  Twilight screamed.

“We need this cover to get moving,” he screamed.  “Without it, we’ll be torn to shreds!”

“That’s good enough fer me!”  AJ screamed, pressing her hooves next to his and lifting the table with ease.

“Now, how didja…”

“Apple buckin’!  You gonna keep yackin’, or you gonna save our lives!?”

“Right, sorry!”  He screamed and, with her help, started in making their way to the back door.


A few minutes of near-constant automatic fire passed, periodically interrupted by a cluster of grenade impacts.  And suddenly, it was all over.  Silence overtook the house, nearly deafening after the bombardment.  The only sounds thereafter came from the small squad of grim-faced men which rushed the building’s façade.  Nodding to one another, one man was selected to head in.  He walked right through the shattered remnants of the door, weapon at the ready, scanning from side to side.  As they were trained to be, his squad mates were right behind him.  Their commander brought up the rear, his pistol at the ready.  The men with the assault rifles fanned out, scanning every single corner they could find, silently searching for their targets.

The commander broke off from the rest, storming the kitchen and dining area where they had seen the targets.  They had to be here, he’d just seen them!  He could NOT fail here!  If he returned to his commanders without the heads of the Elements of Harmony…

Something was off here.  The kitchen was missing something.  Pistol drawn, he started rummaging through drawers, then tearing through the cabinets, becoming so frustrated that by the time he’d searched the last, he was tearing doors off their hinges.  “<What is it!?  What am I missing!?>” He grumbled, struggling to keep his voice down against his mounting fury.  

Then, it hit him: the table.  This was the dining area, and there was no table.  Pistol raised, he strode across the room to the rear hallway, and there it was.  One table, covered in bullet holes, on its side by the rear door, hanging open in the breeze.  “<But of course,>” he sighed, vaulting it and bursting out the rear door just in time to watch the six ponies and their enemy swine of a companion bolt for the woods.  

“<HERE!>”  He screamed, blasting wildly in their general direction with the pistol.  “<HERE, DAMMIT!  THE ENEMY IS ESCAPING!>” At the sound of the gunshots, he watched the American suddenly twist and fire a few times with the pistol.  He heard two shots smack into the wood behind him, and then something threw him onto his ass.

“<COMMANDER!>” One of his men screamed, rushing to his side.

“<No, you fool!  Go after the enemy!  He has our targets!>”

“<But sir, you’re…>”

The commander grabbed the soldier by the front of his uniform in one hand and, with his other, rifled in his own coat.  “<Look!>” He said, producing a small bullet, “<The armor protected me!  Now, move!  You know what our superiors will do to us if the Elements of Harmony escape!>”

Nodding, the soldier immediately gave chase, followed by his comrades.  Once the last soldier passed, the commander leapt to his feet to join in, making sure to keep at least one of his men between himself and the enemy.  After all, what was the use of meat shields if one did not use them properly?

Chapter XII: Counterattack

The soldiers’ squinty little eyes were about to bug out of their skulls.  “{Impossible,}” one of them muttered.  “{How can such a thing be?}”

And yet, there it was: one pony they had missed somehow.  Which was just impossible!  They had swept everywhere!  Turned over every corner!  Scoured the village and rounded all the ponies up, right here, in the town square!  Could there methods of searching have been flawed?  No, they were well-trained soldiers of The Ridchir!  It had to be something else…

The pony stood in the middle of the street, apparently oblivious to their presence.  It took a few awkward steps to the side and tripped over its own hooves, hitting the ground with a dull thud.  The soldiers burst out laughing.  “{A retard!}”  One of them mused, “{God, I haven’t seen one of those in a while!  No wonder it does not run from us!}”

The other ponies gathered nearby remained quiet as the other soldiers continued laughing.  Only the commanding officer glared at the newcomer with suspicion.  “{Privates Jones and Dietrich!}” He barked suddenly.

Immediately, two of the soldiers stopped laughing and ran up to him, saluting.  “{Yes, Commander?}” They barked in unison.

“{Approach this newcomer, but be careful.  Treat him as an enemy soldier approaching with a white flag in one hand: as though it could very well be a trap.}”

The privates didn’t question their orders.  They simply saluted before turning to advance up the street, assault rifles ready.  The pony paused, apparently taken aback by this change in events, unsure of what to do.  The ponies in the square watched in dread, certain of the newcomer’s fate.  How could this end in any way but with the strange pony bleeding in the street?

Rather quickly, Shining Armor answered this question by diving in front of the pony and producing a shield.  “NOW!”  He screamed, and the pony stood up as the pair of soldiers opened up on them.  Unexpectedly, the pony dove to the side, muzzle flashes cracking out of its hooves.  As the soldiers collapsed, clutching at the blood spreading across their chests, Shining Armor and the strange pony ducked behind a store front, just as an entire platoon of soldiers descended upon them, weapons blasting.

“Well,” Shining Armor sighed as rifle fire blazed by their hiding spot.  “That could have gone better.”

“Eh, I wasn’t expecting that to work again anyway.”  The biped with him replied, peeling off his paper-mache hooves.  “You see your girl down there?”

“No,” Shining said, anxiety creeping into his voice.  “But that could mean a lot of things, right?  I mean, she could still be in hiding.”

“Yeah,” the biped said with a fake smile plastered on his face.  “Of course it could.”

There were a few more awkward moments of silence before Shining asked: “I didn’t get your name, by the way.”

“It’s Ramirez.”

“Well, Mr. Ramirez, where do you think your friends are at?”

“Oh, they’ll be around.”  The biped said with a knowing smile.  “And believe me; you’ll know when they are.”  Suddenly, a new string of gunfire sounded off, building to a crescendo as the soldiers in the square returned fire, all diverting attention away from the ponies gathered behind them.

“I take it that was them?”  

Ramirez just grinned and replied: “I said you’d know when they were here.  Now c’mon, we got a pretty little pony to save.”

“Watch it!  That’s my wife you’re talking about!”  Shining said half-jokingly.

Ramirez cracked a smile.  “You ready to save her flank?”

Shining trotted to his side, readying another shield for them.  “Absolutely.”  Ramirez’s only response was to hold up three fingers in front of the unicorn’s face, then two, and at one, Shining dashed out into the street with the biped right behind.  Almost immediately, a couple dozen rounds pinged off the shield as the small squad of men not focused on the rest of the SEALs opened up on them.  Shining stood his ground, bracing his hooves to take the impacts as Ramirez ducked out from behind the shimmering purple hue of their shield, the short weapon he called an “Oozy” (which was a weird name for such a deadly weapon, Shining thought) barking at the enemy.  After managing to take out a couple more soldiers, Shining screamed: “Enough!”  And Ramirez immediately scooped him up and ducked back behind a different store front, this one across the street from their old hiding spot and just a few yards closer to the square.

“Jeez man, you okay?”  Ramirez asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I…” he started to push himself up onto his hooves, only to have his wobbling legs buckle out from under him.  His heart raced as he summoned every bit of strength he could to try and push himself back up, only to wind up flat on his stomach again.  “NO!  C’mon…”

“Dude, you need a rest.”

“I’m fine!”  Shining barked angrily, a few pathetic sparks shooting wildly off the tip of his utterly-drained horn.  “I just need…just…need…” his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he completely collapsed.

“Holy crap, you’re totally spent!”  Ramirez said, loading a fresh magazine into his weapon.  “Believe me, I know the look.  We better stop anyway: with the sheer number of tangoes out there, we’d be turned into hamburger withoutcha!”  As if to emphasize his point, a few wild shots thudded against the brick near his head, the bullets ricocheting on further down the street.  

“Fine, but only for a second,” Shining relented.

Scanning around, the human managed to spy the sign for the shop they were hiding in front of, and he grinned.  “How’s about some general goods and toiletries?  Would that help?”

“What…” Shining gazed up and realized they had been cowering right by the front door of ‘Armister’s General Goods.’  It was almost a relief to see such a familiar sight: he and Cadence had stopped here for toothpaste their first day in town.  She’d found some wax lips and tried them on, he’d cracked a witty one-liner about them not being as good at kissing as she was, and they’d made wild and passionate love that night.  Celestia above, was that really just a few days ago?  Felt more like a decade!

“So, whaddya think?”  The SEAL asked, dragging Shining from the memory.

The unicorn managed to reach up and try the knob, rattling it a few times.  “I think it’s locked.”

“Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head about a thing like that: every man in Uncle Sam’s army is given a special key for situations just like this one.”  Ramirez winked and pulled out his sidearm, emptying a few rounds into the knob and blasting it into little pieces.  He followed up with a powerful kick to the locking mechanism, shearing the door clean off its frame and shattering what little glass was left in it with a loud crash.

“Such subtle and magical wonders you people are able to perform!”  Shining said, a weak smile crossing his face.

“Now, was that sarcasm I detected, Mr. Armor?”  The human asked as he scooped the unicorn up and stepped right into the shop.  “I think we humans might just be rubbing off on you ponies.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.  If anything, you’ll be the one trotting around on all fours by day’s end.”

“We’ll see,” the human smiled as he laid his equine friend on the countertop and started walking around.  He was surprised at the sheer variety available in the store, and at the fact that most of it hadn’t been looted.  The Ridchir’s invasion must have happened so fast that nobody had time to even think about looting a little place like this.  Keeping his weapon in hand, the SEAL clomped through the shelves, ducking to avoid hitting his head on ceiling fixtures.  He managed to scoop up a few colored packages that looked like they might be food before he banged the top of his helmet against a low-hanging light fixture.

“OW!  Sunuva…”

“Ramirez!?”   Shining gasped from the front, audibly trying to lift himself off the countertop.

“It’s nothing, Shining!  Just me being a goddamned idiot,” Ramirez replied, thanking God for the helmet protecting his big, empty head.

Immediately, he heard the unicorn settle and begin snickering.  “Banged your head on something, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I banged my head on something, smartass!”  The SEAL called back, almost missing the slight rustling sound from the back area.  “Aw hell,” he muttered, his weapon rising to his shoulder in the same amount of time it took most people to blink.  Immediately, he rushed back to Shining’s side, one hand on the Uzi and the other with his finger on his lips.

“What didja…” Shining started, but quickly zippered up when he saw the look on Ramirez’s face.  Without a word, the SEAL handed the unicorn all the little packages of food he’d found, and silently pulled his pistol out of its holster and laid it on the counter by Shining’s body.  The unicorn frowned and shook his head at first, but the SEAL mouthed: “You’ll need something to defend yourself,” and frowned hard enough for Shining to know this was not up for debate.  Rolling his eyes, the unicorn carefully brushed the pistol down by his hips, still in arm’s reach but not within sight.  He obviously didn’t even want to look at any of the humans’ terrible weapons while he could help it.  Silently, Ramirez then removed one of the grenades from his jacket and pantomimed pulling the pin out and throwing it, following up by splaying his hand out and making a little ‘POW’ noise with his mouth.  Shining frowned again, but nodded and allowed the human to lay a couple grenades by his body, next to the pistol.

Satisfied, Ramirez raised his weapon again and started easing his way back through the shelves, every creak of a floorboard and every scuffle of his footsteps causing him to wince slightly.  Whatever was back there had to know he was coming.  This was bad: SEALs were stealth warriors, meant to fight from the shadows.  He was never meant to be in a situation like this!  Come to think of it, he was never meant to be engaged in a firefight against a numerically-superior enemy, either!  But then again, he was definitely never meant to fight in a world of magical, talking ponies.  So maybe today was just one of those days where the rules went flying out the door.  

Satisfied in his self-explanation, Ramirez continued toward the door.  He tensed up as he approached and tried the knob with his thumb and forefinger, clicking it once to the left, and then to the right.  Locked.  Frowning, he silently eased back just a few steps and slowed his breathing.  His heart rate sank almost instantly as an eerie calm washed over his body.  He was used to this, had trained relentlessly for moments just like this, and so it was time for instinct to take over.  His hands shook as the transition took place, and when they steadied, he knew he was ready for anything.  Ramirez the Average Joe was gone, and in his place stood Ramirez the SEAL.

Rearing back, he kicked his way through as if the doorframe were being held together with popsicle sticks and chewing gum.  His mind absorbed the scene and processed it for threats in milliseconds.  There were none to be found: just a few mop-heads, a couple boxes of sponges, some assorted knick-knacks for the front window, and one scared little pony staring back at him with tear-filled eyes.

“Aw hell,” he sighed, switching out of battle-mode and lowering his weapon.

“You alright back there?”  Shining asked.  

“Yeah, just found some kid.”

“A what?”

“Eh…what’re they called; little horses, I mean…”

“A foal?  You found a li’l filly!?”

“Yeah, and he’s scared shitless,” Ramirez took a few steps forward and the pony curled up even further into the wall, shivering in fright.  It was a brown foal, no wings, no horn, nothing like that.  His mane was an absolute mess, sticking up in places with little brown curls and twists, though how much of that was the invasion’s fault and how much was just from the kid being a regular, grubby little kid was up for debate.  

Strapping the weapon to his back, the SEAL took a few extra steps forward.  “Now, c’mon li’l guy,” he cooed.  “I’m not gonna hurtcha: I’m one of the good guys.”

Not surprisingly, the kid just shrank further against the wall, knocking over a paint can in his desperate attempt to get away from the strange, two-legged creature.  Sighing, the SEAL poked his head out the door.  “Shining man, I could use some…”

Once again, he absorbed and evaluated the scene in a split-second: Shining, already on his hooves and trotting towards him through one of the aisles, the continued sniffling of the pony next to him, and the five gunmen standing in the street outside the plate-glass window with rifles rising to their shoulders; all of it was assessed and calculated by the human in the doorway.  “DOWN!”  He screamed, reaching for the weapon on his back as he dove into the safety of the storage room.  Acting on instinct, Shining threw himself on the floor just as a hail of bullets shattered the front window and peppered the wall in front of him.  The unicorn twisted and rolled behind a shelf as the bombardment continued, gunfire ripping the rest of the store to shreds.  Back in the storage room, Ramirez readied his weapon as the pony next to him wailed its little heart out.  “Don’t worry, kid,” he said, trying to smile like some big, strong hero in an action movie.  Like John McClane!  Shit yeah, it was time to go all Die Hard on some asses!

He smiled and winked.  “I got this,” he said before ducking out into the doorway and lobbing a few rounds back, just to make sure the goons outside knew somebody inside was still breathing and still spoiling for a fight.  He took the split-second of exposure to check on Shining Armor: he was alright, though a little bit worse for wear.  He didn’t look all that tired anymore, at least, so his little pony adrenal glands were probably running overtime.

He ducked back in, checked his ammo, and breathed.  Next to him, the kid was sobbing loud enough to rival Celine Dion in a duet with Pavarotti.  It was gonna be a long night.

Chapter XIII: Cameos! Cameos Everywhere!

“SWARM!  YOUR LEFT!”  Celestia screamed, a bolt of magical energy from her horn cracking one of the choppers circling above them in half.

The man immediately lashed out with a devastating roundhouse kick, sending the squad of advancing soldiers flying.  Behind him, Luna landed hooves-first on yet another squad, knocking them out as her bats circled around her, blinding every man that might have been taking aim at any of the combatants below.  As she focused on beating the snot out of everyone in front of her, a soldier suddenly reared up from behind, a bayonet in his hand.  His weapon plunged, aimed at her neck, only to transform into a bouquet of dandelions, now spreading their seeds in an unseen wind.  Before he could react, an alligator’s tail whipped across the back of his skull, sending him spinning to the ground.

“Eyes on all sides, dearie,” Discord said, a wave of his claws transforming a squad of soldiers advancing with bayonets ready into a group of men in mascot costumes wielding various brass instruments.  “I can’t be there to save your flank every time.”

“Her flank can watch itself, Discord,” Celestia said icily, rushing to her sister’s side and knocking over every soldier who got in her way.

“Sister!”  Luna moaned, smacking another soldier away with the side of her hoof.  “I can handle myself just fine, thank thee verily much!”  

Ignoring her, Discord carried on with a toothy grin: “Oh?  You sure her flank can watch itself?  Because I’m rather certain I can watch it all day long, no trouble at all.”

Luna’s face turned bright red as Celestia screamed: “How DARE you insult a princess of the royal Canterlot…”

“WILL YOU THREE STOP FLIRTING AND START FIGHTING!?”  Li screamed, his fists slamming into the side of another soldier’s head before he turned with a flurry of lightning-quick jabs to another’s rib cage.  “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re about to be overrun!”

“No need to get jealous, Swarm dearie,” Discord snickered as Celestia’s face turned a red to match Luna’s.  “We have…”

A ringing sound from Swarm’s pants caused him to pause.  “Excuse me,” he said, pulling his cell out with one hand while the other grabbed a soldier by the throat and tossed him aside like a rag doll.  “Yes, sweetie?”

“You’ve got more incoming!”  A voice with a mild Punjabi accent gasped from the other side.  “A bunch of them got past me!  They’re on a flanking maneuver from one of the more sci-fi universes!”

“Oh don’t worry!”  Swarm screamed in reply, a roundhouse kick sending a dozen soldiers flying, “I’ve already fortified against them!”

“What!?  Fortified!?  How!?”

He paused in his combat long enough to grin and reply: “By calling in a favor from an old friend.”




The fog of the void swirled around them, parting just enough to allow their metal casings to glide past.  If any of the group had a concept of poetry, one of them might have been compelled to comment on the way the fog parted before them.  But Daleks have no concept that could even come close to what a human or a pony would call poetry, and this small group was no different.  They just wheeled forward, the constant whining of the machinery moving them buzzing into the distance.  The pack of at least six Daleks continued with their machine-like determination, the lights on their bodies shimmering off the mist until they came to a stop before a small, pony-like shadow in the mist.

“HALT!”  The lead Dalek screamed.

“WE OBEY!”  His comrades replied, and the leader turned on the form.

“IDENTIFY YOURSELF OR BE EXTERMINATED!”  The lead Dalek bellowed.

“Oh come now, sure I’ve had a bit of a makeover, but you must recognize The Doctor when you see him,” the pony replied as he stepped forward from the mist, his trademark half-smile on his face.

“THIS IS AN IMPOSSIBILITY!  THE DOCTOR IS DEAD!  YOU ARE AN IMPOSTER!”

“Oh yes, that is possible.  I could just be a little pony who hitched a ride to this little spot in the void, trying to hold you off from joining the battle raging just behind me.”  He shrugged in the direction of gunfire booming over his shoulder.  “But then again, if I’m not The Doctor, how am I able to do this?”  The little brown pony tapped a single hoof on the mist-covered ground beneath him, and with its usual whooshing, crunching sound, the TARDIS slowly faded into existence at his side, the blue light of the time vortex itself shimmering off the mist around it.

“IMPOSSIBLE!  IMPOSSIBLE!”  The lead Dalek exclaimed.

“There’s that word again.  That’s the thing about you Daleks: never willing to accept the obvious, even when it’s right in front of your faces.  Well…” he squinted, “…Perhaps I should say ‘eyestalks’.”

“THEN HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?  EXPLAIN!  EXPLAIN!!”

“Oh, now see, you’re asking the wrong question there.”

“THE WRONG QUESTION!?”

“Yes, but don’t worry!  You can find the right one by simple process of elimination.  So, where is here?”  He spread his arms out.  “The void between worlds.  Well, that can’t be the question if it already has an answer, so let’s move on: when is here?  Right now, that’s when.  What is here?  Oh, not much, just my TARDIS, and this,” he reached into the mist and pulled out his sonic screwdriver, clenched between his teeth.  Every Dalek immediately backed away a few paces.

“Just a little old sonic screwdriver, that’s all,” he grinned at the aura of fear suddenly filling the air.  “Now, we’ve already established ‘how’ to be the improper question, which leaves us with just one possibility: who?”

“WHO!?”

“Who.  But before you set about answering this question, look into your databanks.  Scour your little memories for every time I met your kind.  Every moment, every conversation, and every dark day I brought down upon your heads.  Look for every single foiled plan, every single Dalek ship destroyed, every single member of your race who curses the day they ever crossed paths with me.  Then, once you’ve done all that, after you’ve relived every single moment of despair and failure that I’ve rained down upon you, come back to the little question I’ve found for you.”

At that, he reared up on his hind hooves, and even with the screwdriver glowing in his teeth, his voice was perfectly clear as he boomed the question out to the captive audience around him: “WHO IS GOING TO FACE ME FIRST!?”


“This is insane!”  Luna shrieked, her rear hooves bucking another group of soldiers into the air.  “Just how many of these guys are they sending!?”

“Enough to keep us busy, that’s for sure!”  Swarm replied, smashing another pair of enemies’ heads together before back-flipping over them to land in the middle of yet another group of soldiers, narrowly dodging their bullets.

“Oh, I’m not complaining!”  Discord announced, turning a helicopter hovering overhead into a clump of balloon animals with one wave of his paw.  “This is the most fun I’ve had in ages!”

“Could we please try to remain focused!?”  Celestia screamed at him as she head-butted a squad of soldiers that had been sneaking up on him.  “We’re fighting for the fate of Equestria here!”

“Oh, do lighten up, princess, I’m only trying to…”  

Her eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of something high over his head.  “GET DOWN!”  She screamed, tackling him to the ground just as a ball of white-hot energy moving blindingly fast shot by, bound for the crowd gathered around Swarm.  

“Ooh, Princess!  Ah do declahe!  I didn’t think you could be so forward!”

She ignored him, her jaw dropping as she stood over his body.  Confused, he turned to see what she was looking at, and his own jaw dropped.  There, at the heart of the pack, the fighting had abruptly stopped.  Swarm still stood in mid-pose, his hand wrapped around a soldier’s throat, as he stared in shock at the glowing being before him.  Eventually, the blinding light faded away, revealing yet another man in a sinister-looking uniform, with black gloves, a grey long-coat, and a black leather cap.  Swarm recognized him immediately.

“Muh-Muh-Mars?”  The Chinese man gasped, eyes widening in shock.

The newcomer grinned wickedly.  “Hello, father.”

Chapter XIV: The Run

The ponies and their human companion paused in a thick cluster of bushes, most of them gasping for air.  “Okay, looks like we got enough distance between us and them,” Uris said.  “God willing, they won’t catch up for a while.”

“Ugh,” Rarity collapsed on the ground, ensuring that a silken pillow cushioned her fall.  “Theah’s no way any of this is good for my perm.”

“Better to have a messed up mane than a hole in your head,” Rainbow Dash commented.

“Rainbow, why don’t you go on ahead and search for help?”  Twilight said.  “Celestia knows you could get out of here pretty easily.”

“And leave you guys with him?”  She shrugged in Uris’ direction.  “Not likely, Twi.  I’d rather take my chances with the maniacs trying to kill us than leave my best friends in some weirdo alien’s care.”

This time, Uris didn’t comment.  He was too focused on Fluttershy to pay any attention to Dash’s constant jabs.  The little yellow pegasus was hunched over a stump, trying (and failing) to hide the fact that she was on the verge of tears.  “Fluttershy?”  He asked.

“That house was everything,” she sniffled.  “I-I left behind so many animals there, and I didn’t even think about them until just now.  What kind of Element of Kindness am I?  Back there, all I could think about was myself!  I…” her breath shook, “…I didn’t even save Angel!”

Thinking for a bit, Uris replied.  “I’m not sure what kind of ‘Element’ that makes you (or even what that means) but I do know that makes you a regular person.”

She looked up at him, a quizzical look in her tear-streaked eyes.

“Or pony!  Whatever,” he sighed.  Comforting chicks was definitely not his strong suit.  “Look, anybody can get lost in the heat of the moment just start reacting to the crazy crap going on around them.  That’s probably the only reason we’re still alive right now.  And if you’d stayed behind, odds are they would’ve just killed you.”

It was pretty obvious this wasn’t working as Fluttershy didn’t even lift her head up, so he added: “Besides, they probably haven’t even touched your animals.  WE are their target, remember?”

“So…” she finally picked her head up off the stump.  “So my animals are probably okay?”

“W-well, probably,” he rubbed the back of his head.  “I mean…”  She sniffled again, her head dipping low to rest on the stump again.  “Absolutely!  They have to be alright, okay?  Just perfectly fine!”

“Well,” she stood, her legs quaking.  “I-if you say so…”

“I know so!”  He plastered a big fake smile on his face and winked.  “Right now, all we should focus on is getting out of this alive so you can get back to them as soon as possible.  Okay?”

She nodded, wiping at her nose with the back of her hoof.

“Aw jeez, here,” he pulled a pack of tissues out of one of his pockets.  She accepted one gladly, bending down to blow her nose.  The moment she ducked, a flash in the corner of his eye caught Uris’ attention.  He turned just in time to see one of the enemy soldiers, leveling a bolt-action rifle on them.  He heard himself scream: “GET DOWN!”  And felt himself dive onto Fluttershy, shielding her with his own body just as a bullet tore a thin line across his back.  In the next few milliseconds, his pistol appeared in his hand and fired a few wild shots in the shooter’s direction.  The rifleman went down, just as the cries of his comrades started filling the forest, converging on the small cluster of bushes.

“EVERYPONY RUN!”  Pinkie screamed, and suddenly, Uris was yanked to his feet and being pulled along.  His shocked mind barely processed Rainbow Dash grasping onto his hand as they ran.  Still running on instinct, he fired a few more wild shots in the direction of the enemy’s screams.  Another gunshot rang out, and he could see something small and terrifyingly fast ripple Twilight’s flank as she vaulted a log.  Still barely on his feet, he managed to wrench his hand free of Rainbow’s hooves and run on his own, quickly ducking behind a tree as the ponies dashed past.

“Mr. Uris!”  Fluttershy screamed.

“Just go, go!  I got this!”  He screamed back, ducking out behind the tree and blind-firing a few more shots.  A whole cascade of bullets followed as the men with assault rifles switched to full-auto and let loose in his direction.  Once he was certain their pursuers had stopped to focus on him, he ducked out from behind the tree and raced away in the bush, bullets splintering the bark of the trees around him.

Rainbow Dash appeared in front of him and ran alongside.  “Here, I thought you were doing something stupid!”  She yelled over the gunshots landing all around them.

“You’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy, Ms. Dash!”  He hollered back as they caught up with the rest of the ponies.   Uris’s gambit had actually bought them a few extra seconds, but the enemy soldiers were closing fast, rifles blasting the entire way.  Trees exploded all around them, terrifyingly close to their bodies, and still they ran.  A burst of shots landed in a stream as they vaulted it, sending little bursts of water cascading onto their bodies.  But still, they were all in one piece, and for a while, Uris actually started to think he might live to see another sunrise.

Then, something turned his blood to ice: a whistle falling from a high to a low pitch, and growing louder.  No time to duck, no time to dodge, just enough time to gasp: “SHHHIIIIII…” before a massive explosion threw him off his feet.

A mortar.  Those bastards had called down a mortar strike!  It had hit close too: a massive, smoking crater had opened up beneath a pile of fallen trees, just a few yards away from where he lay.  But he knew he couldn’t stop now, he had to get up, he had to get moving, he had to save…

A white-hot, blinding pain rocketed up his leg, blasting all other thought out.  He looked at his ankle, and almost hurled at what he saw.  A small twig had embedded itself into his ankle, blood now gushing around it.  He lifted his head up to the sounds of soldiers approaching, quickly closing in on him.

That was it, then.  Game over.

“Mr. Uris!”  Fluttershy screamed.

Trying to keep a brave face for her, he grinned. “Keep moving, Flutters!  I’ll be right behind you!”

Nodding, she turned and bolted with the rest of her friends, trusting that he would soon follow.  And why wouldn’t she?  He’d pulled this stunt just a few moments ago.  Except this time, there would be no ducking out from behind a tree and racing off into the woods.  Not with his ankle as it was.  “Which makes this the last stand at the Alamo,” he muttered, loading his last clip into his weapon and bracing his back against a tree.

He ducked out just as the first soldier rounded a tree and appeared in his view, taking him down with two rounds to the chest.  The next few guys were smarter, hanging back, waiting to hit him from a few different sides at once.  He fired a few shots blindly into any bush or tree that rustled a bit too sharply, which kept them back for now.  But how long would that last?

He fell back behind the tree, and a few seconds later the enemy opened up on him, splintering the pink bark-covered oak.  His cover failing, his leg useless, and one last clip in his pistol, Uris mused on how awesome it would be to have a big ol’ cigar with him.  One of those nice, thick Cubans that flooded a room with smoke.  Or even a decent one-liner would satisfy him right now.  Something to throw in those bastard’s faces before they sent him to meet his brother.  “He’d get a kick outta that,” he muttered as a bullet sent a shower of splinters raining by his face.  “Like somethin’ straight out of an action movie, he’d say…” he paused, trailing off.  Something caught his attention, high up in the sky.  A little teal speck, moving at the speed of some of the jet fighters he remembered at his old base back home.

“Damn, that little pony can move,” he said as the speck suddenly angled down and rocketed right towards the men gathered behind him.  A blast of sonic energy echoed through his ears as shockwaves of red, orange and yellow blasted all around him.

“Ah knew y’had it in ya, Dash!”  Applejack screamed as one of her hooves cracked across the faces of a pair of soldiers near her.  

“MR. URIS!”  Fluttershy cried, bursting out of a bush and running into his arms.

“Goddammit girl,” he sighed, embracing her in the deafening silence that now filled the forest.  “What did I tell you about surprising soldiers?  You weren’t supposed to come back.”

“Dahling, did you really believe we were just going to leave you to your fate?”  Rarity asked, appearing at his side and shaking her head.  “Not likely.”

“You don’t understand!  They’re here to kill you all!  I’m only here to protect you, at all costs.  If you stay, my mission will be a failure!”  

Fluttershy hugged him harder.  He sighed as something stirred in the bushes behind them.  Pulling out the pistol again, he blind-fired a few more shots around the tree just as the rest of the ponies joined them.

“Don’t you see?”  He whimpered.  “I’ve failed here.”  A half-dozen soldiers closed in on them, weapons raised, ready to end this chase once and for all.  “I’ve failed.”

In the split second before the soldiers could squeeze the triggers on their weapons, a glow appeared around Twilight’s horn.  “NOT YET YOU HAVEN’T!”  She bellowed as, rather suddenly, a massive ball of pure white light surrounded them.  With a deafening boom, everything suddenly disappeared from the forest: the ponies, the soldiers, and the one American pilot, clutching to the most precious thing he’d ever encountered in his life.

A short while later, the birds resumed their song.  A few squirrels peeked out from their tree-homes and a hawk alighted upon a branch, peering curiously at the large, blank patch of dirt where he was certain a tree had been just the other day.  Then his mind returned to where he might find his next meal.

Once again, all was at peace in this patch of the Everfree forest.

Chapter XV: Rami and Shiny

“RAMIREZ!  You alright back there!?”  Shining screamed over the din of the near-constant automatic fire from outside.

“YEAH!”  The SEAL yelled back, still trying to calm the foal down.  It was still wailing, but then, who could blame it?  He’d probably be scared shitless too if he was a couple decades younger.  At least he’d gotten the little thing to cuddle up to his arm and not recoil every time he tried to get close.

“I’m gonna make a run for your pistol!  I think my horn’s recharged enough for a shield that’ll keep me safe!”

A few bullets ricocheted randomly into the back store room, piercing a few bags of hayseed and spreading their contents all over the floor.  “You sure you gotta do that, man!?  Cantcha just levitate them to you, or some other magical horseshit!?”

“Naw, they’re around a corner!  I can’t actually see them!  I’d have to waste all my magic levitating the whole, stupid countertop over here!”

Suddenly, a stroke of brilliance struck Ramirez.  “That’s friggin’ brilliant!  Do that!”

“What!?” The same idea struck Shining.  “Dear sweet Celestia, that’s insane!”

The kid’s wailing reached a new, higher pitch as another cluster of bullets peppered the room, splintering the mop handle leaning against the rear shelf.  “You got any better ideas!? ‘Cause I am all ears!”

There were a few moments of silence before Shining replied: “I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to hold it once I got it!”

“Just tell me when everything’s in position,” Ramirez said, his hand reaching into his uniform jacket and producing a small, gold-plated crucifix.  He kissed it gently and tried to recall the Lord’s Prayer from one of the millions of times he’d repeated it throughout his life.  “I got a good friend who’ll handle everything else.”

“Okay, I’m starting!”  The unicorn fell silent except for the occasional grunt of effort.

Ramirez started praying silently, the crucifix in his hand: Our Father, who art in Heaven…

The sound of wood snapping and nails being sheared out of place came from the front, accompanied with some groans from the unicorn.

…Hallowed be thy name…

The foal wailed as Shining’s grunts turned into moans of pure effort.

…Thy kingdom come, thy will be done…

Another cluster of bullets shattered the shelf of cleaning supplies next to the SEAL, raining cleaning powder onto his uniform.  He pulled the foal in a bit closer to protect it.

…On Earth as it is in Heaven…

“GGYYYAAAHHHH!”  Shining screamed from the front, veins popping out on his neck.  The sounds of wood cracking and giving way now almost drowned out the gunfire.

…Give us this day, our daily bread…

There was a final, snapping sound, followed by wood scraping against wood.  

…And forgive us our trespasses…

Ramirez set the foal down and patted its head, ignoring its cries and attempts to crawl back into his arms.

…As we forgive those who trespass against us…

The scraping sound out front came to a low, grating halt.  The SEAL inhaled.

…And lead us not into temptation…

“RAMIREZ, NOW!”  Shining screamed from the front.

“BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL!”  Ramirez completed the prayer, raising his weapon as he rocketed out the doorway.  Spraying the remainder of his magazine in the enemy’s general direction, his eyes filled with joy at the sight of the front counter propped across a pair of aisles, forming a perfect barrier between him and the muzzle flashes up front, all with his grenades and pistol resting on top.  Somewhere far ahead, he could just make out the silhouettes of the enemy soldiers, completely taken by surprise and just starting to adjust their aim to compensate.  It was like they were moving in Jell-O to Ramirez.  A few bullets whizzed by in slow-motion.  Weapon still blazing, he hardly even noticed Shining’s screams as he ran past and slid into place, ducking right behind his new barrier and listening to the beautiful sound of enemy rounds ricocheting overhead, unable to penetrate.

“Ramirez!  You still alive!?”  Shining asked, his voice finally making it through the wall of adrenaline pounding in the SEAL’s ears.

“Yeah, somehow!”  The SEAL replied, unable to keep from grinning ear to ear from his new cover.  He was practically on top of these bastards!

“Oh, good,” the unicorn replied before a loud thump filled the store. Ramirez spied a small dash of blue from Shining’s mane on the floor, poking out the side of one of the shelves.  He shrugged.  The guy probably deserved a decent rest after what he’d pulled.  Somewhere behind him, the foal continued screaming, but it was time to drown that out and focus on the job at hand.

He inhaled once, changed the magazine on his weapon, and blind-fired a few rounds over his shoulder to give his hands the cover they needed to grab the grenades.  Flicking their pins out with his thumbs, he kept breathing, waiting silently as their timers ticked down.  Bullets whizzed by overhead, the enemy soldiers swearing at him in their strange, guttural language.  But none of that mattered.  All that mattered was the devices ticking away in his hands, their little mechanical hearts counting down to their final destiny.  

With one second on the clock, he tossed the grenades, allowing them to arc over his barricade perfectly.  A pair of explosions just behind the barrier signaled his next move, so he ducked up over the barricade and finished the stunned troops.  It wasn’t much of a job: the frag from the explosions had annihilated the men closest to the storefront.  One of them laid on his back with a few massive, blood-covered scraps in his chest and neck, his face staring blankly up at the night sky.  The remaining few were stunned, their eardrums shattered, sitting ducks for the SEAL.  It was all over in the span of a few seconds, and suddenly, Ramirez was just standing by his barricade with smoke drifting off the tip of his barrel and a whole ton of dead enemy in front of him, and a glint of silver in the corner of his eye.

Reacting instantly, Ramirez bought the stock of his weapon around in a blow aimed at chin level, narrowly missing the enemy tango sneaking up on his side, a combat knife in his hand.  Roaring with fury, the tango sprang, knocking the weapon from the SEAL’s hand.  Ramirez immediately grabbed for the tango’s wrist, only to be knocked back by a blow to the stomach, followed up with a charge.  The SEAL stumbled with the blow and fell back against a store shelf, raising his arms just in time to keep the tip of the enemy’s blade from plunging into his neck.  Grunting, Ramirez pressed back with all his strength, only to slowly lose ground against the soldier’s superior positioning, the tip of his blade eventually scraping the SEAL’s Adam’s apple.  The tango’s eyes narrowed with a dark glee in them, his mind obviously preparing for the joy of bathing in the blood of a fallen enemy.  Thinking fast, Ramirez stomped on his enemy’s foot, coming nowhere near to gaining some leverage but gaining the distraction needed to grab for the pistol in the holster by his waist.  No sooner did he have the weapon clear of its holster when one of the soldier’s hands lashed out, leaving the knife’s handle and wrapping around the sidearm.  The two were now locked in a bitter struggle, Ramirez struggling to raise his pistol against the tango’s stomach, and the tango threatening to bring the knife down all the way through the SEAL’s throat.  Adrenaline coursed through their bodies, their own heartbeats pounding in their ears, neither able to gain the upper hand.

Then a magical blast whistled by the tango’s ears, his eyes darting to the side for the quickest moment.  It was just the distraction Ramirez needed to bring his pistol hand up in a strike that knocked the knife’s blade away.  Stunned, the tango locked eyes on Ramirez as the SEAL pressed his pistol against the soft spot of his neck, just beneath the chin.

A single gunshot flashed in the store, echoing through the street just outside the shattered window.

Ramirez sighed and dabbed at the small wound the knife had managed to open on his throat.  The kid’s wailing was the only sound left, making the SEAL’s ears ring with the new silence.  Slowly, he pushed away from the shelf, Shining watching him with a knowing smile on his face.  “C-can’t a unicorn faint in peace anymore?”  He asked jokingly.  “Just h-how many times d-do you expect me to save your life tuh-today, smoothskin?”

“Hopefully, that’ll be the last,” Ramirez replied as he scooped up the foal and allowed it to cuddle up to his chest as he searched through the aisles for some formula, or…whatever it was baby ponies ate.

“Ai-aisle fuh-five,” Shining stammered, barely able to lift his head up.  “D-Doctor Foalman’s Specialized Formula.”

“Huh?”  Ramirez asked.  Tracking down the package and tearing it open to find a bottle of formula, he turned back to his unicorn friend: “How did you even…”

“I knew the wife was interested in having a foal at some point,” Shining replied as he stumbled towards them on four, quivering legs.  “Figured I should read up on a few things for when that time came.”

“Damn,” Ramirez grinned.  “I swear, if your woman didn’t give you pussy after telling her that…”

“Didn’t give me what?”

“Uh…I’ll tell you when the kid’s not in earshot,” Ramirez replied as the foal sucked happily on the little bottle.

“Fair enough.  So, what’s the plan from here?”

“Uh…” the SEAL scanned around the store, his eyes eventually resting on the door to the stairs leading to the roof.  “If we were up a little higher, I could probably think of something.”

“Sounds good,” the unicorn replied, walking up to the door and trying the knob.  Unsurprisingly, it rattled uselessly beneath his hoof.  “Locked.”

“What is with this place!?  I mean, for a general store, it’s all locked down tighter than Fort Knox!”

“Now, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it,” Shining grinned.  “Lemme just show you a bit of magic every stallion in Celestia’s army knows to get by a locked door.”

“Shining man, it ain’t worth you using up what little magic you got left just to…”

In reply, Shining turned his back to the door, reared up on his front hooves, and bucked the frame with all his might, shattering it and blasting the door clean out of place.

“Oh,” Ramirez smiled, the foal settling in deeper in his arms.  “You meant that kinda magic.”

“Cheapest kind there is. Now c’mon,” the unicorn trotted up the first few steps.  “We have a town to save.”

The pair muscled up the steps and tried the door leading to the rooftop, finding it opened easily.  “Figures the only door that ain’t locked is on the roof,” Ramirez sighed, handing the foal to Shining and readying his Uzi just in case.  The pair burst onto the rooftop and, after ensuring it was clear of enemies, ducked down low to avoid sniper fire.  Ramirez pulled out a pair of binoculars and spied on the muzzle flashes continuing somewhere in the distance.  “Alright, I got a visual on the town square, and I can see the hostages.”

“How’s it look?”  Shining asked, still nursing the foal with the bottle.

“Not too good.  The enemy’s entrenched pretty well: looks like they pulled in some scrap and junk from around town to build barricades,” the SEAL grimaced.  “And they have the hostages all gathered in one corner, in the deepest part of their defenses, with at least a half-dozen guards that I can see.”

“Oh no,” Shining’s eyes widened in fear.  “With that kind of setup, they could kill everypony in town way before your friends could ever get close!”

“Damn straight they could, and they would.  That’s why my buddies haven’t moved in: they pulled the exact same shit in Hong Kong.”  He stood up and pocketed his binoculars.  “Wait ‘til defeat is certain, then butcher any hostages you have.  Lost a lot of civvies that day.  It’s brutal, but it’s probably the only reason we haven’t totally overrun ‘em yet.”

“Celestia above!  How’re we going to get those ponies out of there!?”

“I dunno, I dunno,” Ramirez leaned back and took off his helmet, running his fingers through his sweaty, jet-black hair.  “If my guys had a few more rockets or some close air support, we might be able to take out those barricades and stun ‘em long enough for a decent chance at saving the hostages, but…”

“Well, shoot,” Shining sighed.  “Do we have anything like that?”

“Closest thing we got is this,” Ramirez pulled a small, tube-shaped object with a trigger and stock attached from off the back of his vest.  “It’s an old relic from ‘Nam: the M70 40mm grenade launcher.  We usually just call it a blooper tube.”

“You guys have weird names for your weapons.”

“We know,” Ramirez smiled weakly.  “The thing is this weapon has nowhere near the range or accuracy we need.  We’d have to practically be on top of these guys to get a decent shot lined up, and even then it’s just as likely to land in the middle of that crowd of hostages as it is to blow up a few of those barricades.”

“Well, what if the shot was…” Shining’s horn sparked slightly, “…magically augmented?”

Ramirez’s eyes lit up.  “That could work.  Think you’re up to it?”

“Those hostages don’t have much time, and we don’t have any other options, so I guess I better be.”

“Good answer,” Ramirez lied on his stomach and slid a round into the launcher’s barrel, starting the process of lining up a decent shot.  Shining laid the foal, now sleeping peacefully, on the ground and placed one of the snack cakes from the lower floor beneath its head, trying to make it comfortable before taking his place at Ramirez’s side.

“You ready?”  The SEAL asked, handing his binoculars over.

“About as ready as I’m ever gonna get,” the unicorn said, pressing them up to his face and zeroing in on the square.

“Good enough for me,” Ramirez replied before squeezing the trigger.  The grenade flew out of the barrel with a little flash that almost caught Shining off-guard.  It began to arc downwards just a bit before the unicorn’s magic kicked in, levitating it further along towards the town’s square.  Eyebrows furrowing in concentration, his mind stayed with the little grenade to guide it towards the overturned dumpster serving as cover for a pair of enemy soldiers.  Suddenly, the dumpster and the men disappeared in a massive cloud of shrapnel, and he grinned.

“Bull’s eye!”

“Hot damn!”  The SEAL cleared the used casing and loaded a fresh round into his launcher within the space of the next ten seconds.  “Think you can pull that off again?”

Think lightning can strike twice?  Shining groaned inwardly, but he just smiled and nodded and waited for the now-familiar “CHOOK!” of a grenade leaving the tube.  He kept his focus on it right off the bat, guiding it the entire way right into another cluster of troops, annihilating at least four of the guards standing over the ponies.  “They still don’t know what’s going on!”  He said, grinning.  “A few more shots and I think we can take out those barricades and wipe out the last of the guards!”

“Do you have a few more shots in you?”

Celestia above, I hope so.  “Of course I do!  Hit it!”

Another “CHOOK,” another shot sent right into the heart of The Ridchir’s defenses. A bead of sweat dribbled down the side of Shining’s face.  “Last shot!”  Ramirez announced.  “Make it count!”

“I will!”  Shining replied, focusing on the last two guards standing over the town’s populace, waving their weapons wildly as they scanned the rooftops for the invisible assailant.  Grimacing, he focused in on them as the world around him slowed down.  Ramirez’s breathing slowed to a low, rumbling bass, as did the breathing of the foal just behind him, its breath whistling through its nose.  He grit his teeth at the sound of Ramirez’s finger sliding along the trigger, the firing mechanism in his weapon slowly kicking into action.  The soldiers in his sight reared up over the townspeople, weapons at the ready.  Shining breathed in, and breathed out.

The shot seemed to take an eternity to travel from the rooftop to the pair of soldiers in Shining’s sights.  It whistled through the air, every gust of wind, every gentle zephyr nudging allowing Shining to adjust.  In his binoculars, he could see the last two guards flicking switches on the sides of their weapons, the ponies at their feet cringing in fear.  And then they were gone.  There was a quick poof, a flash of red, and the guards were no more.

“Got ‘em,” Shining said as he lowered the binoculars.

“Beautiful,” Ramirez replied.  “God-DAMN, dude!  Between the loss of their rearguard and the destruction of their barriers, I think we…”

All at once, the distant gunfire quieted down, dropping from a steady barrage to an occasional burst, only popping up every now and again.

“…Might have just won this thing for our side,” Ramirez grinned at his friend.  “Dude, you have just saved a ton of…dude?”

The unicorn laid on his side, completely unconscious.  Ramirez smiled and scooped him up into his arms, along with the foal.  “Rest while you can, brother,” the SEAL whispered.  “The war’s not over yet.”

Chapter XVI: Friendship is Magic...

The battle in the void had taken an unexpectedly sharp turn for the worse.  The three equestrian-based, semi-omnipotent beings could only watch as their companion was suddenly and brutally assaulted, a great cheer rising up from the crowd gathered around him with each blow the newcomer landed.

“Mars, please!  Let’s…” a fist smashed against Swarm’s head, followed by a rising knee kick to his nose.  “What has happened to you!?  Talk to me!”  The man in silken clothing gasped as the newcomer grabbed him by his shirt collar and threw him into the air with all his might.

The newcomer just kept on with that insane, terrible grin as he leapt high into the air and slammed into Swarm’s chest, bringing the soles of his black leather boots down as hard as he possibly could.  “Please, Marsy!  Just say something!”  Swarm hacked, his chest wracked with pain.

“Oh, I’m through with that, daddy-dearest!”  Mars replied, bringing the heel of his boot down on Swarm’s face.  “I’m done being the obedient son!  It’s time for me to write my own destiny!”

“Is that what this is about!?”  Swarm screamed, grasping Mars’ boot and flipping him on his back to regain some footing.  “A cry for independence!?”

“Oh, this is so much more than that, father,” Mars leapt to his feet, grabbed Swarm by the throat, and slammed him against the ground, a cheer rising as the air around them seemed to ripple from the sheer force of the blow.  

“Then what is it about, Mars?”  Swarm rasped, his throat ravaged by the blow.

“It’s about taking our rightful place in creation,” Mars replied, standing over Swarm and raising his fists to the crowd.  “It’s about ruling over a universe populated with the right species, the ones who deserve to live!”

Another cheer rose up from the crowd as he continued: “It’s about allowing the one true law of nature to retake its rightful precedence in reality.”

“And what would that be, Mars?”  Swarm asked, dreading the answer.

“Might versus right, of course,” Mars straightened up again to address the crowd: “If the weak were truly meant to survive, then why were they made to be weak!?”

“Here, here!”  A man screamed from the crowd, which roared its approval.

“Why should the strong devote themselves to protecting the weak!?”  Mars continued.  “Is that not a massive waste of resources?  Of time better spent progressing the species further and extending its dominion?”

“YES!”  The crowd bellowed.

“AND IS NOT THE DEATH OF THE WEAK THE ONLY THING WHICH ALLOWS FOR EVOLUTION TO TAKE HOLD!?  IS THAT NOT THE DEFINITION OF NATURAL SELECTION!?”

Once again, the crowd roared.  Mars spread his hands out and gazed down at Swarm.  “You see?  They understand.  They get it.  That’s why I’ve chosen them to act as my starting point.  It’s because they understand that they will win.”

“Win what, Mars?”  A frantic look entered Swarm’s tired, beaten eyes.  “What have you done?”

“Only what you should’ve done all those years ago, when you first discovered what you were,” Mars said accusingly.  “I’m building an empire, one which will stand for eternity, spanning millions of Earths and thousands of Equestrias and billions of little worlds in between, all populated by only the strongest, the brightest, and the very best.  An entire empire of super-beings, ruled by a god.”

“That you honestly believe such a thing could exist, and that it would be good, tells me just how far gone you are. And…” he paused, tears welling in his eyes, “…and how badly I’ve failed you.”

Mars looked down at Swarm with a flicker of pity in his eyes.  “You could’ve been so much more,” he grimaced, raising his hand to deal a finishing blow.  “It truly is a shame that all your power must now go to waste.  But either you’re for this, or you’re…”

“…Steadfastly against it!”  Celestia finished as she streaked overhead, horn blasting.  Mars buckled under the magical assault as Discord raised a wall made of porcupines covered in sharpened pencils to block off the crowd of soldiers, giving Luna the chance to swoop in and grab Swarm.  Then the trio took off with their humanoid companion, dashing into a pocket dimension which they zipped shut behind them.

The man screamed and flew after them, slamming his fists against the space where the portal had been.  Snarling with rage, he descended and strode up to the wreckage of one of the helicopters, his men clearing a path for him as he tore through the cockpit’s crumpled door.  He tossed the body of the pilot aside to smash his fist through one of the screens on the dashboard.  Soon, hundreds of characters began to appear, all displaying the millions of calculations running through his head.  The wicked grin appeared on his face again.  “Anywhere you can go, I will follow,” he mumbled.


Uris’s head spun, his vision blinking in and out.  The ground beneath him was rough, bumpy, like an unpaved street or something.  He tried to push himself to his feet, only to collapse again as pain screamed up his leg.  Something squeaked beneath him.  Something warm, with long and flowing hair and this gentle little touch…

“Fluttershy,” he rasped.  She clung to him, hooves on his shoulders, shivering in fear.  Darkness still surrounded them.  His vision was blurry, but his other senses and memories were returning.  The attack on the cottage, the desperate run through the forest, Twilight’s final spell.  An orange blob stumbled into view, obviously as disoriented as he was.  “Applejack,” he whispered, pushing himself to his knees and reaching out to her while still holding Fluttershy in one arm.  Fortunately, the Earth pony instinctively recognized him and limped closer.  Good thing, too: if she’d bucked him he probably wouldn’t have had the strength to reach out again.  

“It’s okay,” he said.  His voice sounded far-off, echoing in his ears.  Something was wrong.  The teleportation must have wrecked his inner-ear, shit!  How was he supposed to keep fighting if he couldn’t even keep his balance?

A few more shapes appeared in his view.  Dark, tall, humanoid.  Instinctively, he laid Fluttershy to the side and brushed AJ away, freeing his hands to reach for his pistol.  He fired one shot, which went wide.  The shapes looked around in a panic, obviously so disoriented that they couldn’t even see him right there in front of them.  He fired two more times, and by some miracle two of the shapes dropped, leaving only one.  He lined up the sights with the final shape and squeezed the trigger, and the click of an empty barrel resounded in his still-damaged ears.  He squeezed again and again, only to get the same result.  That was it then.  He’d just used his last round of ammo.  The pistol clattered uselessly to the ground as the humanoid walked right up to him, the fog eventually clearing to reveal an officer’s jacket on its body, a cap on its head, and a pistol clenched in its hand.

Ignoring the ponies, the figure limped towards him as quickly as it could and delivered a devastating kick to Uris’s ribs.  The American went down, the wind knocked out of him as the heel of the officer’s boot stamped on his crotch.  Uris groaned in pain.

“Do you really think you can win against us?”  The officer said with a mild, implacable accent as he pressed the barrel of his weapon against Uris’s cheek.  “We are The Ridchir.  We are the very best, the epitome of humankind, filtered and hardened into perfection.  What does your mongrel race think you can do against us with a few little ponies?”

“URIS!”  Fluttershy screeched, once again dashing into his arms.  This time, the American remained silent.  He knew it was useless to tell her to run, and he just didn’t have the energy to spare.  The Ridchir officer gazed down at them in disgust, his grip tightening on the pistol.  

“Do you see now, American?”  He said, leveling the weapon on Uris’s head.  “Do you see how pointless your battle on behalf of these creatures is?  I have allied myself with the strong, and look where it has gotten me.  What has your sympathy for these weaklings gotten you?”

“Who you callin’ weak now!?”  Rainbow Dash screeched suddenly, swooping into view.  The officer snarled and fired a few shots, but in his unbalanced state she dodged easily before darting into the sky.  As she disappeared, Applejack galloped up to the officer and bucked him right in the crotch before he could react.  Howling in pain, the officer didn’t even have time to dodge as rocks rained down on him from the rooftops overhead, courtesy of Rarity and Twilight’s magic.  As he was brought down to his knees, he couldn’t so much as raise a finger when Pinkie hopped right up to him, smiled, and promptly whipped out a tuba to boom a massive C-flat into his still-damaged ears.  Collapsing, the officer kept his grip on his weapon, just barely finding the strength to lift his head, hatred blazing in his eyes.  But all he could see was Fluttershy standing tall and proud over his body, a cold glare aimed at him.

“You assault my home, you threaten my friends, and you killed Mr. Uris’s brother.  Yet despite all this, we still fight you.  With the strength we find within ourselves and with each other, we fight you.” She said coldly, shaking her head.  “Mister, haven’t you figured it out yet?”

With a scream of rage, the officer raised his pistol, only to be stopped short by a tight grip on his wrist.  His gaze drifted upward to find Uris standing over him, one hand clenched around his wrist.  “Friendship is magic,” the American bellowed, winding his other hand back in a fist, “Mother-bucker.”  

Uris’s fist smashed into the officer’s jaw, sending a bit of blood flying from his mouth.  The officer coughed once before collapsing to the ground, splaying out over the cobblestone.  After waiting a few seconds to make sure the bastard was out cold, Uris limped over the officer’s body and pulled the pistol from his limp hand, sliding it into his own holster.  The six friends joined him in the street as he looked around, trying to gather his bearings.

“Wooh!”   Rainbow Dash squealed as she wheeled around in the sky overhead.  “Didja all see that!?  We kicked butt!”

“Rainbow, this is no time for celebration,” Twilight said sternly.  “We still have no idea where we are.”

“And that was just one small squad,” Uris added.  “Who knows how many more of those guys could be waiting for us out there?”

“Ugh,” Rainbow sighed, swooping down to join them on the ground.  “Why do you guys have to always be such killjoys?  We just won!  Why can’t we just…”

“That’s why.” Fluttershy interrupted.  Thrown off by such an uncharacteristic interjection, Rainbow looked to where her friend was pointing.  The Ridchir officer was standing, blood flowing from his jaw and a razor-sharp knife in his hand.  His cap lay on the ground behind him, revealing a sweat-covered, tangled mass of hair shadowing a pair of eyes that looked like some mad demon inhabited them.

With a scream that echoed through the streets, the officer charged at Uris, who readied his weapon and squeezed the trigger.  The hammer fell on an empty barrel.  “Oh, of course,” he grumbled, throwing the useless weapon at the madman.  The ponies stood at his side, ready to defend their friend as the officer bore down on them with the knife raised, hardly even phased by his own sidearm bouncing harmlessly off his stomach.  He took a few steps towards them, and instantly a barrage of rifle fire sounded.  Uris winced and closed his eyes, figuring The Ridchir’s reinforcements had arrived to finish him off.  Much to his surprise, a few minutes later when he opened them again, he was not only still on Terra Firma (as opposed to some weird, dark tunnel with a light at the end and his brother beckoning him forward) but still on his feet.  What’s more, the officer was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood.  Sighing with relief, Uris dropped to his knees as the ground trembled.  Eventually, a Bradley APC rumbled past, closely followed by a couple columns of men in wonderfully familiar uniforms.  Something soft brushed against his hand, and he looked down to see Fluttershy huddled close to him, along with the other ponies.  Even Rainbow Dash seemed to be slightly closer than usual, even if she still had that suspicious, defiant look in her eyes as she scanned the humans marching by with a glare that dared any of them to mess with her friends.  Without thinking, he started stroking the incredibly soft, pink mane by his hand, still in shock, still unable to stand up and even talk to the Marines streaming past.

“Son, why aren’t you in line?”  A voice asked behind him.  Uris turned and immediately the owner of the voice, a tough-looking African-American with the paratrooper’s logo on his arm, dropped his jaw.  “A-are you Uris?  The chopper pilot?”  He asked in shock.

In much more shock, Uris replied: “Y-yes, that’s me.”

“I’ll be damned,” the paratrooper’s face lit up, “I’ll be goddamned!  We found ya!”  Grabbing Uris by the hand, he started leading him towards the command vehicle at the center of the column.  “Man, the commander’s gonna be happy to see you, we’ve been tearin’ up half the forest to…”

He drifted off as Uris wrenched free.  The paratrooper looked at him, confused.  “Wherever I go, they have to come, okay?”  Uris said, pointing to the six ponies huddled together behind his boots.

“Fine,” the paratrooper sighed.  “Just c’mon!”

Chapter XVII: SEAL vs Guard

“Okay,” Luna said, surveying the magic holding the seal together.  “This should keep us hidden from the enemy.  For the time being, at least.”

“Good,” Celestia sighed, unloading the man on her back and gasping with relief.  “Honestly, I wasn’t sure that would work.  I half expected that…thing back there to rip us apart long before we made it to the portal.”

“Yes, are we going to discuss that?”  Discord asked with an eyebrow arched.  “It’s obvious that our bipedal compatriot knows where that man came from, and probably why it’s so bloody powerful too.”

A sob interrupted them all.  The three Equestrian-born beings turned to the Chinese man now choking back tears, trying to keep his shimmering-white clothing from being touched with mucus.  “S-Swarm?”  Luna asked fearfully.  “Ist thou alright?”

“It’s all my fucking fault,” he moaned.  “Everything, all the pain and suffering, all the battles fought on all the planets, all my fucking fault.”  For a moment, a smile flickered across his face as he sat up.  “It’s a bit funny, when I think about it.  All this time I was trying to track down what was responsible for the breaches, you know?  All this time trying to find the source for this war, for all the pain and suffering that has been wreaked.  And really, I never had to look any further than the nearest mirror.”

A look of utter hopelessness crossed his face as he leaned against a non-existent wall, crafted of pure dark matter.  The other beings in their small pocket dimension looked on helplessly, until Discord stepped forward and screamed: “Oh, for heaven’s sake, man!  Pull yourself together!  We…”

“DISCORD!”  Celestia screamed, and to everyone’s surprise, the Lord of Chaos actually gave pause, not even fighting when she rested a hoof on his shoulder and pulled him back, giving him a gentle smile as she walked past him towards Swarm.  The all-powerful being crying on the ground looked up at her in despair.

“I was just so lonely,” he whimpered.  “I was so certain that…perhaps there was some sign I missed, that I didn’t want to see…”

“You know, in some faiths, some ponies believe that the first step towards forgiveness is in admitting the sin,” she offered a reassuring smile.  “Perhaps in our case, that is our first step towards forgiving ourselves?”

The man sniffled, sighed, and nodded.  With his voice quivering, he choked back his tears and began to tell his story.  


Ramirez strode into the town square with the ponies in his grasp: the foal in his hands, Shining Armor on his back.  As he walked, a group of his fellow SEALs lowered their weapons and began applauding, standing in the burning pile of scrap metal that had once been The Ridchir’s main strongpoint.  “I dunno how you did it, bro,” one of them grinned.  “But you turned an antique from Vietnam into some close quarters artillery here!”

“Thank this guy,” Ramirez motioned to the unicorn across his back.  “He’s the one with the magic juice that let me fire grenades from a couple blocks away!”

“You mean you were blocks away when you fired those shots!?”  The other SEAL gasped.  Ramirez smiled and nodded.  “Damn, where can I get me one of those unicorns!?”

“O-only one p-per customer,” the bundle on Ramirez’s back said.

“The hell!?  Shining!?”

“Y-you were expecting Prince Blueblood?”  The unicorn asked, managing to lift his head up and smile.

“Aw hell,” Ramirez lowered his equine friend to the ground, careful to keep his grip on the foal in his arms.  “I thought you were unconscious!”

“For a while, I was, now I’m not…” the unicorn tried to stand, but stumbled.

“Fer God’s sakes,” Ramirez turned to the SEALs nearby.  “Where the hell’s that vet we brought along?  This guy could use a check-up!”

“Nonononono, I’m fine!”  Shining said indignantly, pushing himself from Ramirez’s grasp and limping towards his fellow ponies in the square, who huddled in a corner as far from the newcomers as possible.  He stumbled once or twice, but Ramirez didn’t even move.  He just watched Shining make his way to the villagers.  

“That one’s a soldier,” he mumbled under his breath as he accepted a cigarette from the SEAL nearest to him.  The SEAL just nodded in agreement and helped him light up before taking the foal from his arms, assuring Ramirez that it would be taken to the nearest nurse.

Shining stood before the other ponies, trying his best to look proud and tall, despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to throw up on the cobblestone and collapse.  One of the ponies walked up to him, quaking in fear.  “Mr. Armor?”  He asked.  “What are these creatures?  Why are they here?”

Shining just smiled and said: “They’re humans, kid, and they’re here to help.”

“I…I don’t know about that,” he said, eyeing the SEALs fearfully.

“Don’t worry about it.  Look, ponies, all you need to know is that the worst is over, alright?  The fighting is ending, and those other humans should be surrendering sometime soon.  Now, has anypony seen my wife?”

The kid just looked upwards at one of the rooftops surrounding the square.  Shining followed his gaze, and his eyes widened in terror.  Cadence was standing atop a balcony near the top of one of the buildings, surrounded by enemy soldiers.  “Oh Celestia, no!”  He screamed.  Ramirez looked over at him, followed his gaze, and instinctively whipped out his Uzi, the cigarette dropping from his lips.  The other men followed suit, not even needing to look up to know something bad was staring down at them.  

“Hey, isn’t that the Princess?”  One of the ponies asked.

“Why’s that pony look different?”  The SEAL next to Ramirez wondered aloud, still clenching his assault rifle.

“Didn’t you pay attention in the briefing?”  Ramirez hissed.  “She’s an Alicorn!  Royalty!”

“Aw shit, you mean they got one of their royals hostage?”

“CADENCE!”  Shining Armor screamed.  The little pink Alicorn couldn’t even bring herself to look at him, keeping her eyes low as tears drifted from them.

“Shit fuck, this just got real bad,” Ramirez added under his breath.

“What’s up?”

“That’s his wife up there.  Whole reason he’s been fighting with us.”

“Shit.”

As everyone watched, Cadence was dragged away from the edge of the rooftop and out of view while one of the soldiers stepped up to the balcony with a megaphone.  With an obvious look of disdain in his eyes, he raised the megaphone to his lips and spoke, his mild accent obvious as his voice boomed throughout the village: “Now that we have your undivided attention, we wish to announce that we have one of your own.  We know she is royalty in this land.  All that we ask in return for her safety is for all American and Equestrian forces in and around this village to lay down their arms and surrender.”

One of the SEALs walked out in front of the rest, lowering his weapon.  “This is Lieutenant Miller with the American Expeditionary Forces in Equestria,” he shouted.  “I’m here to tell you that’s not going to happen.  It is the official policy of the United States’ government not to negotiate with terrorists.”

The soldier gazed down at him and replied: “That may be your policy, American, but what of the Equestrians?”

“I think they share my sentiment when I tell you to kiss my ass!”  Miller screamed, his middle finger waving in the air.  His SEALs let out a cheer around him.

“Oh, really?”  The enemy soldier grinned wide enough for everyone to see it.  “I would not be so sure of that.”

Confused, Miller spun around and surveyed his men, his eyes eventually settling on one white unicorn, trotting out in front of everyone else towards the enemy-occupied building.  “Hey, hey!”  He screamed.  “What’s he think he’s doing!?”

“Wha-Shining!”  Ramirez screamed and ran after him.  “What’re you doin’, man!?”

Shining turned to the SEAL, a look of sheer hopelessness on his face.  “They’ve got her.  What do you think I’m doing?  I’m surrendering.”

“Bu-but, you can’t!”  He followed the unicorn into the building: an inn with the candles darkened and the staff eerily absent.  He darted to the stairwell to ensure it was clear.  Nobody shot at him.  Yet.  

Shining trotted past him.  “And why is that?  I know my duty.  As a husband and a soldier, I need to protect Cadence at all costs.”

“That’s suicide, man!”  Ramirez hissed out the corner of his mouth, keeping his weapon leveled on the stairwell.  “The moment they find out you’re a Royal Guard, they’ll kill you just to make an example to all the ponies gathered below!”

“I know my duty, as certainly as you know yours.”  Shining repeated.

“Shining, man,” Ramirez let one hand slip free of the Uzi and rest on the unicorn’s shoulder.  “I can’t letcha do this.”

“And you’re gonna stop me?”

“Absolutely,” without warning, Ramirez twisted around and cracked his Uzi’s extended stock against the back of Shining Armor’s head.  The unicorn went down instantly, dazed.  “I’m sorry, but if everybody down below sees your body getting thrown off that balcony, they’ll panic!  We could lose the whole city!”  He bent over to pick the unicorn up, and suddenly Shining’s hooves lashed back in a buck that would’ve made Applejack proud, right into Ramirez’s gut.  Grimacing, the SEAL managed to stay on his boots and keep from hunching over, lessening the blow when Shining followed up with a head-butt.

As he stumbled back, Shining glowered at Ramirez from the staircase.  “I don’t want to fight you, but if you keep me from Cadence, I won’t hesitate!”

With a determined glare, Ramirez tucked the Uzi back into his shoulder holster and raised his fists.  Shining Armor backed away up the stairs, his eyes never leaving the SEAL as he followed.  Slowly, they made their way towards the first landing in the stairwell, neither leaving their battle-ready stance for a second.  Then they reached the landing, and Ramirez struck.  With his superior height, Ramirez gained the upper ground the moment his boots touched the landing, and he promptly used it to lunge forward, hands aimed for Armor’s neck.  The unicorn bucked his head to the side once Ramirez made contact, crushing the SEAL’s fingers against the hardwood wall in a move that would have had any other man on the ground, screaming in pain.  As it was, Ramirez only grunted before slamming Shining’s head to the floor and following up with a devastating stomp to his face.  With Shining dazed, the SEAL lashed out with a punch from his good hand, but Shining easily rolled to the side just enough in the confined space to dodge, letting Ramrez’s blow land on the hardwood floor.  Both warriors were beaten and bloody: Shining with his head still spinning from Ramirez’s kick, and Ramirez with his hands throbbing from Shining’s attacks.  They kicked away from each other, Ramirez rolling off his shoulder and leaping to his feet with his pistol in hand.  Shining regarded it with a dark grimace.

“You would shoot me to keep me from seeing Cadence?”  He growled as Ramirez advanced.

“No,” the SEAL replied as he approached.  “This is just to distract you from THIS!”  Suddenly, his other hand lashed out, clenching a previously-concealed blackjack despite the pain still throbbing through his fingers.  It smashed across Armor’s face, slamming his head against the wall with a blow that resounded throughout the building.  The unicorn slumped, apparently defeated, to the floor.  Ramirez sighed and scooped him up, throwing him over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Shining, God knows I really am,” he said, carrying the unicorn back down to the lobby.  “But we can’t lose you now.  Just know that I understand what you’re going through.  Hell, this is probably how I'd react if someone I knew was taken.  And what I just did is exactly how my teammates would react to keep me from getting killed: they’d do whatever it takes to save me, even from myself.”

He walked along a few more steps before something whispered in his ear: “Same here, but MY team isn’t around.”

“Wha-“ Ramirez managed to choke out before a hoof smashed against the back of his skull.  Reeling from the blow, he had no time to react before Shining’s body wrapped around his neck in a perfect choke hold.  His hands still injured, he didn’t have the strength to fight the hold directly, so he quickly opted to try attacking Shining indirectly: smashing himself against tables and walls to try and loosen the hold on his neck.  The world grew dark as he approached the bar, throwing himself against the bottles on the shelves along the back wall in hopes of hurting the unicorn just enough to weaken his grip.  It was all for nothing.  The hold remained as strong as ever, and his efforts to claw it away slowly grew weaker and weaker.  He just wasn’t trained to fight a horse, for pity’s sake!  

As the world finally slipped away into darkness, the SEAL heard Shining whisper: “I’m sorry.”

And then everything faded away.


Shining kept his hold on Ramirez for a few extra seconds before releasing it.  Amidst the broken glass and spilled drinks behind the bar, he leaned in and perked an ear over Ramirez’s mouth.  Satisfied that the SEAL was still breathing, the unicorn laid him out flat on the ground, resting his head on a dirty rag from the bar.  “Sorry, it’s all I got,” he said with a weak smile.  He sighed and turned to head back up the stairs, but not before adding: “You’re a good man, Ramirez.  Celestia knows I could probably take on the world with a squad of ponies like you.  But you have your duty, and I have mine.”

And then he was gone, trotting up the stairs towards his beloved Cadence.

Chapter XVIII: Reunions

Vance stared straight ahead as his Humvee rumbled alongside his men, a rock-hard, stoic look on his face.  “Sir?”  Parker asked beside him.  Vance was silent.  “Sir, we did all we could, we searched everywhere.  But we couldn’t compromise…”

“…The mission, I know,” Vance grumbled.  “Still, I have this feeling we didn’t do EVERYTHING we could, that there was some stone left unturned, or…”

“…Something you missed?”  A familiar voice asked from beside him, adding to the growing string of interruptions.  Parker leapt from his seat at the sudden intrusion.  Vance, by now used to Swarm’s appearances, just grimaced deeper.

“Hello, Swarm,” he mumbled, keeping his focus on his men marching along.  

The impeccably handsome man with the jet-black hair, perfect cleft chin and ever-present leather jacket grinned at the old marine from his spot on the floor.  “Come now, Captain, why the long face?  You look like you’ve lost something important.”

“I have, Swarm.  Most important thing in the world to me.”  He glared at the man in the leather jacket out the corner of his eye.  “Too bad you weren’t there to help, eh?”

“Yes, Captain,” Swarm sighed, the smile fading.  “But you know my rules.  I am stretched to my limits as it is, and I can’t afford preferential treatment to one of my friends just because they happen to know me.  It isn’t fair, especially to the…”

“I’ve heard this lecture before!”  Vance snapped.  Swarm looked back at him with the saddest, most apologetic eyes Vance had ever seen.  The Captain sighed.  He knew Swarm could produce that expression on a whim; it would only take a simple rearrangement of the molecular structure of his face, child’s play for him.  Yet somehow he knew this expression was genuine; real, true sorrow.  “I know, alright?  I get it.  But…it’s just…”

To his surprise, a warm smile crossed the man in the leather jacket’s face.  “Vance, I think you’ll find that sometimes these things can solve themselves.  It just works out in the end, you know?”

“Oh wow, groovy bro.”  Vance grumbled, his face hardening again.  “Where’d you pick that one up?  A college student’s blog?”

“No, just something I have observed in the past, and believe I will continue to observe in the future, as current patterns hold.”

Silence overtook the vehicle for a few minutes, until Parker spoke up: “Why am I the only one in here surprised by the guy popping into existence between us?”

Ignoring him, Vance just grumbled to himself: “Current patterns, my ass, the day I see something to make me believe that is the day I’ll eat the boots right off my feet!”

Suddenly, the Humvee screeched to a stop.  Vance and Parker had to brace themselves against the frame just to stay upright.  As usual, Swarm remained seated perfectly-still on the floor, completely unfazed.  “The hell…” Parker started just as Webb jogged up to the window with a massive grin on his face.

“Webb!  For God’s sakes, man, if there’s anything short of the apocalypse holding up this convoy, I’ll have the head…of…” Vance trailed off as Webb stepped aside and a man in a naval aviator’s uniform walked up to them, his face dirty, his gait thrown off by an obvious limp, and a look of absolute exhaustion in his eyes.  Vance’s jaw dropped, eyes widening as he slowly picked himself up and stepped down from the Humvee.  

Uris tried to paste a smile on his face.  “Dad,” he said, a few tears starting to sprout, “I’m so…”

Vance rushed out of the vehicle and wrapped his arms around the pilot, tears streaming down his cheeks.  “I-I thought I’d lost you, son.”  He choked.  “For a few minutes, I-I was thinking this was your brother all over again, you were both supposed t’be far from the battle, and still, I-I thought I was gonna lose…”

“Dad,” Uris grinned, swallowing the lump in his throat.  “You’re babbling.”

“God damn, I know, I’m sorry, but…” He listened to the sound of the Humvee door opening and closing behind him, Swarm and Parker joining his side.  

“Your son, eh?”  Parker sighed.  “That…complicates things.”

“Sorry to keep you all in the dark…” Vance mumbled.

“Eh, I figured it out,” Webb smiled, leaning coolly against the Humvee’s side.  “A man doesn’t look as desperate as you did while searching for a stranger.”

“Parker, I know what this means,” Vance sighed, releasing Uris.  “I was emotionally compromised and expended valuable resources running a mission for my own personal gain.  I am aware of the consequences of this action.”

“Dad…” Uris said, his hand clasping his father’s shoulder.

“I hereby voluntarily surrender my command to you,” the old Marine said, an air of dignity in his voice as he removed his walkie-talkie and pulled out his sidearm, holding them out to his second-in-command.  “As per U.S military law, I will now wait with a guard of neutral MPs for my court martial.”

Parker raised an arm, and promptly brushed both the pistol and the walkie aside.  Vance arched an eyebrow.  “What for, sir?  For searching for a pilot that we didn’t even know was your son?”

“Um…” Vance said, obviously confused.

“After all, Bannon only reported that ‘a’ chopper went down, not which.  There’s no way you could’ve known that just happened to be the bird your son was piloting, right?”  He smiled at the commander, who grinned right back as he holstered his pistol and clipped the talkie back on his uniform.

“Well, with that bit of drama out of the way,” Swarm said gleefully as he rested his arms on Vance and Uris’s shoulders.  “Why don’t we welcome some new friends, eh?”

“Hmm?”  Vance turned and finally noticed the six little ponies gathered behind his son’s boots, most of whom were wiping tears from their eyes from his reunion with his son.  “Oh my God,” he sighed, massaging his temples.  “What part of ‘minimal contact with native populace’ is too hard for you all to understand!?”  

“Pardon me, sir,” Twilight said, offering her hoof, “I think I should start the introductions.  I’m…”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Swarm finished, brushing Vance aside and shaking her hoof vigorously.  “Also known as the Element of Magic, possibly the most gifted unicorn in all of Equestria and Princess Celestia’s protégé.”

“Yes,” Twilight said in absolute shock, “but how did you…”

“Oh, Princess Celestia has told me all about you.  She’s quite proud of you, you know.”

“Oh, my, well…” Twilight said, blushing as Swarm jumped over to AJ.  

“And here we got Applejack, th’ Element a’ Honesty and the owner of Sweet Apple Acres, one a’ the most successful orchards in all of Equestria.”

“Well, Ah wouldn’t go all that far…” she said with a prideful little smile.  Swarm barely paused before leaping down in front of Pinkie.

“Next up: Pinkie Pie!  The best party planner Ponyville has ever seen and the Element of Laughter!”  

“Oh, boy!  A psychic!”  She grinned, hopping up and down in excitement.  “Quick: what number am I thinking of?”

“I’m not a psychic; at least, not in the sense you know them,” he replied, hopping up and down in perfect time with her.  “But I do know that’s a trick question: you’re thinking about the term ‘Antidisestablishmentarianism’ and what effects its genesis might have had on modern British history.”

She stopped hopping.  “Wow, you’re good.”

“Jeez, you got Pinkie Pie to shut up,” Rainbow Dash said.  “You ARE good.”

“Ah, and here we have Rainbow Dash!”  Swarm said forcefully, striding up to her with his chest puffed out.  “The Element of Loyalty and the fastest flyer Ponyville has ever known, hands down!”

“You got that right!”  She said boastfully, cracking him a few times on the shoulder with her hooves.  He shoved her right back, and before she could react, he ducked away in a swooping bow, picking up Rarity’s hoof in one smooth motion and giving it a gentle kiss.

“And now we arrive at Madame Rarity,” he said gently.  “The Element of Generosity and the brightest of the up-and-coming stars in Equestrian fashion.”

“Dahling, flattery will get you everywhere,” she replied, making no effort to hide her blushing cheeks contrasting with her white coat.

Finally, Swarm picked himself up and slowly made his way towards Uris, who had a little, yellow pegasus clenching tightly to his boots.  “And last, but certainly not least,” he said as quietly and gently as possible, “Fluttershy.  The Element of Kindness and the little pegasus who just can’t say no to a creature in need: a trait which has earned her the love of millions all over, both abroad and somewhat closer.”

“Um…” she stopped shivering for just a moment as Uris glared Swarm’s way, cheeks reddening.  “What-what do you mean?”

Swarm just smiled knowingly in Uris’s direction and danced to Vance’s side.  The commander’s jaw gaping.  “Hold on now, Elements?  You mean these are…”

“The Elements of Harmony, Equestria’s best weapon against invaders, saved by your son in a wonderful tale I hope he plans to regale us with as we proceed to the village of Coltton,” he grinned as Twilight Sparkle frowned.  Something about that name seemed familiar…

“Anyway, Commander,” Swarm spoke again so suddenly it derailed Twilight’s train of thought.  “By the looks of things, I should say only one question remains to be answered.”

“And what would that be?”

The man in the leather jacket simply produced two bottles.  “Would you like red, or white wine with your boots?”

Chapter XIX: Recovery and Planning

“Mars was…like me.”  Swarm began, tracing impossible little patterns in the air with his finger.  “I found him in one of my thousands of excursions into one of the millions of Earths that exist, and realized instantly what he was destined to become.  Like me, he was going to be powerful.”  

Celestia and Luna listened as he sighed and continued, Discord hovering nearby atop another chocolate milk cloud.  “My birth was difficult, and let us leave it at that.  Things happened which I had no control over, but was still responsible for.  Terrible things.  In the centuries since those times, I have come to terms with my role in those things, but when I saw Mars in his infancy, barely even beginning to become a fully sentient being, I realized I could save him.  He didn’t have to suffer through what I did, or live with the horrendous burden I knew.  He could become just as great as I was, I thought, and eventually join me and my siblings in our travels, a fully separate entity which…” he choked back a sob, “…which would…understand.”

Celestia and Luna nodded in understanding.  Discord just continued watching the conversation from his cloud in as nonchalant a manner as possible.  “I gave Mars a domain of his own, close to my home so I could…shape him, like a father with a child.  Eventually, I came to realize my role and refer to him as ‘son.’  The first day he referred to me as his father was the happiest of my existence.”

“Oh, Swarm…” Celestia choked.  

“Hold up, there,” Discord said, raising a paw.  “You’re saying you raised that THING outside?”

Swarm could only nod, his hand clenched firmly over his own mouth to stifle a cry of pain.

“Well bloody hell, what happened there?”

“I DON’T KNOW!”  Swarm screamed, his voice booming into the nether as the other beings leapt back in surprise.  “I don’t know, okay?  I thought I was giving him a well-rounded formation!  I thought I was raising him to be a fully functional, sentient being, one which could join me in my travels and…and…”

He fell to his knees, bawling for a future which now would never exist.  Celestia offered her hoof, barely choking back her own tears as Swarm cried in pure, absolute emotional agony.  Luna sniffled, her hoof drifting towards Discord’s side, only to find that he had vanished.  Looking around in confusion, she only found him again when he blinked back into existence by Swarm’s head.  The man looked up at the Lord of Chaos as he cradled his face in his talons, just before his bear-paw slapped across it with a dull thud.  “Discord!”  Celestia screamed, only to be ignored.

“GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!”  Discord bellowed at the man now lying stunned on the ground.  “We’ve got the fate of an entire planet lying in our hands!  You’re in pain, and that’s unfortunate, but right now there are a whole ton of ponies and a few humans whose lives depend on us holding off that horde back there,” he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the tiny rift in space they had slipped through, now rippling with the force of a massive blow from the other side.  “We can’t have you going all emotional now!  Don’t you realize what’s at stake!?”

He dragged Swarm to his feet and pointed at the sisters.  “Those two have an entire kingdom depending on them, with literally millions of subjects who will suffer if we fall.”  He twisted the man to face himself, “I face a bleak future living under the thumb of some big, evil, fascist Empire which crushes all hope for glorious, wonderful chaos!  And you,” he slammed his fist against the dark matter wall Swarm had been leaning against, allowing it to ripple and shimmer until its surface bent itself into a mirror, reflecting them.  “I’m sure you have your own noble and obnoxiously heroic reasons for fighting.  Don’t you see!?”  

He twisted Swarm around and slammed him against the wall, gripping him by the shoulders.  “Everything we love, everything we exist for, is on the line right now!  And you just want to sit there and feel sorry for yourself!?”

The other three beings stared at the Lord of Chaos in stunned silence.  Swarm’s eyes darted around, as if trying to process something.  Then, after a few seconds, a cool expression crossed his face while a certain spark reentered his eyes.  Discord smiled at it as Swarm brushed his hands aside, straightening out the wrinkles that had been left in his suit.

“You have my thanks, chaotic one.”  Swarm said plainly.

“Believe me when I say it was all my pleasure.”  Discord replied while the princesses daintily stepped forward.

“So, what’s the plan?”  Celestia asked, still a bit put-off by Discord’s outburst.

“Right, what have we got?”  Swarm paced back and forth, stroking his chin.  “Problem: we have a whole host of enemies with…an incredibly powerful being…” his voice shook ever-so-slightly as he talked, but quickly regained itself.  “…Supporting them.  We cannot hold here for long, and even if we could, it would only be a matter of time before the enemy found a way around the portal-redirection Ms. Hazarika has performed, and diverted to attack Equestria.”

“Yeah, too bad we can’t just pull that stunt again and redirect them to the heart of a sun or something, right?”  Discord grumbled.

Swarm’s eyes lit up.  “Actually, we can.”

“What.”  Discord, Luna, and Celestia said.

“But not to a sun,” Swarm whipped out his cell phone and dialed furiously.  The moment he pressed the speaker to his ear, a high-pitched voice steeped in a Punjabi accent shrieked at him: “WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?  Do you realize how concerned I was!?  How…”

“Nasreen, darling, I’m sorry,” Swarm explained.  “But we are in a bit of a pickle right now and I need you to tell me: can you open up a portal from where we are standing?”

“Ugh…hold on…” they all waited and listened tensely as the hum of a quadrillion calculations being made clicked over the line.  “Okay, I’ve located you and…yes, a portal should be no trouble whatsoever.”  

“Okay, good, now, I need this to be a huge portal!  Something an entire army could just rush right through without even thinking, just rocket right on through.  Can you do that?”

“Um…” more calculations, more tense moments.  “Yes, we’ve barely the energy left for it, but it is possible.”

“Great, I’m going to need you to give us that portal when and where we need it in a second, okay?  Okay, love you, bye.”

“Wait!  Chen, don’t you dare hang…” he cut her off by flipping the phone shut and slamming it back into its barely-existent pocket, just as Luna’s eyes lit up.  

“We thinkest that we have begun to understand!”  She said.

“You mean we’re actually going to drop them into the heart of the sun!?”  Discord gasped.

“Too far,” Swarm said, still pacing.  “We’ve expended too much energy for a portal that size to be opened that far off from the rest of the portals.  It has to be Equestria, specifically somewhere in the Everfree forest, near where the enemy has already opened a few.”

“Well, that’s just great,” Luna sighed.  “Now, thy enemy army will have the whole forest from whence to attack Equestria!”

“Unless we ensure they land right in the heart of the best-defended area in the forest,” producing a map from the folds of his outfit, he slammed his finger down on a tiny village.  “There.”

“Coltton?”  Celestia said.  “Why there?  It’s just a tiny farming community.”

“Ah, but not just ‘a’ farming community,” his finger pointed at another spot.  “It’s the only open area besides this field, where the Americans your highness has so graciously allowed into her lands have set up their base.”  Celestia couldn’t help but blush at his compliment.

“My word, it’s on a perfect flanking path with that field,” Discord said.  “If we drop the army there, they could absolutely overrun your little human friends!”

“But they know that,” Swarm replied.  “The Americans know this is their weak point, and so…”

“This is where they would have the bulk of their defenses!”  Luna gushed.  “The enemy army runs through our portal and slams right against the most heavily-defended position in Equestria!”

“Then, like a tidal wave against a sheer rock face,” the man said coolly, leaning back.  “They are scattered by the sheer force slammed back against them, totally obliterating themselves with their own momentum.”

“Swarm, that’s brilliant!”  

“That is a lot of faith you are placing in the strategic abilities of a mere human,” Discord said skeptically.  “Literally everything hinges on whether or not this human commander has seen what you have.”

Swarm crossed his arms stubbornly.  “My brother trusted this human with the defense of Equestria, so I believe we can have plenty of faith in his abilities.”

“Perhaps, there is still one catch though,” the Lord of Chaos sighed.  “The army out there isn’t just going to run headlong into a portal because we ask them to.  They need a reason.”

“Like something they wish to destroy?”  Luna asked, scratching at her chin with the edge of her glass slipper.  “Something which could act as bait, like some huge, unknown power source, or…”

“Or one of us,” Celestia said.

The four beings eyed each other warily, knowing that just a few yards away, the seal over the tear in time-space protecting their little bubble was showing the first signs of buckling.

Chapter XX: Arrival in Coltton

Vance, Parker, and Swarm stared at Uris, barely able to believe what they’d just heard.  The pilot and his six pony friends just grinned back, except for Fluttershy, who had taken to relaxing on Uris’s lap while he stroked her mane.  After a while with nothing but the sound of the Humvee’s engine as it rumbled along, Vance spoke: “‘Friendship is Magic, Motherbucker?’”

“It…uh…” Uris sighed sheepishly.  “It seemed much cooler while I was saying it.”

“Holy God,” Parker said.  “When did you decide to become a hero in a cheesy, 80’s action flick?”

“Probably around the same time you accepted a mission to venture forth into a land populated by adorable cartoon ponies in order to defend them from terrorists or whatever,” Uris replied.

“Touché.”

Immediately, Rainbow Dash darted up into Uris’ face.  “Who you callin’ adorable, huh?”  She demanded.

“Well, of course there are exceptions to the rule,” Uris replied flatly.

“You’re darn right,” she replied, floating back down to the vehicle’s floor and resting confidently.  “Everypony knows I’m just way too awesome to be adorable!”

Without warning, Swarm reached down and scratched at a spot right on top of her scalp, just between the ears.  “Hey, what’re you…” Dash started, and then her head tilted back, a big, contented smile on her face as she leaned against his leg, nuzzling gently.  After a few moments, she snapped back to her senses and slapped his hand away.  He backed off and raised his hands, grinning knowingly.  “Dinner and a movie first, bub,” she said icily. “I don’t go that far with anypony on the first date.”

“Woah,” Applejack said.  “First y’all get Pinkie t’shut up, then y’get Rainbow to show her cute an’ sensitive side.  Y’all sure humans ain’t magic?”

“Very,” Uris said, still stroking Fluttershy’s mane.  

“One thing I still don’t get,” Parker said.  “You just told us everything you remember since waking up in Miss Fluttershy’s cottage.  You still haven’t told us how you managed to get out of that helicopter alive.”

“Um…” Uris’s brow furrowed, his eyes closing in frustration.  “I…I don’t know.  I…I keep running through it in my head but…”

“Um…all I know is that I found him with some weird cloth around him…just, so everypony knows.”  Fluttershy said quietly.

“The parachute,” Parker said.  “That explains how you got to the ground in one piece, but Bannon says he couldn’t even get you out of your seatbelt.  How on Earth did you escape the chopper?”

“I…I remember that.”  Uris gasped.  “Yeah, the Lieutenant was there, he was trying to get my seatbelt off.  He was about to just whip out his knife and slice it and…”

“Yes?”  Everyone in the Humvee leaned forward expectedly.

“There was… a flash of light.  Something…something smashed through the canopy.  It pulled Bannon right out, it…”

“It…pulled him?”  Parker asked, not even noticing as Swarm shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Yeah, something grabbed him…a hand…an arm, I…I couldn’t see him too good…I…” he sighed.  “I’m sorry.  It gets really fuzzy after that.”

“No worries, son,” Vance said.  “Odds are you took a hit to the head after that.  Probably crossed a few wires upstairs.  We’ll getcha checked out once we get the MASH setup.”

“Thanks, Dad.  But now it’s just frustrating me, I mean…it’s like…” he cradled his head in his hands.  “It’s like something doesn’t want me to…”

Suddenly, the car screeched to a stop.  “We’re there already?”  Parker asked.

“That was fast.  Ah thought Coltton was a lot further away.”  AJ added.

“My teleportation spell must have taken us further than I thought,” Twilight said, scratching at her chin while Vance hopped out of the cab to see what was going on.

“Uh oh, I know that look,” Dash sighed.  “Miss Brainiac’s got something on her mind.”

“Whatsamatter, sugar cube?”  AJ asked.  

“That name…Coltton…” Twilight’s brows furrowed in thought.  “I could have sworn I heard it somewhere…”

Before she could get anywhere with the name, Vance ran right up to the Humvee and screamed through the window: “Parker!  Swarm!  I need you front and center, stat!”

“Yes, sir!”  Parker barked, scooping up his rifle and leaping out to jog alongside his commander as they rounded a corner and disappeared behind a building.

“Aw, but me and the ponies were just gettin’ to know each other!”  Swarm grumbled, hopping out of the car and dragging his feet as he walked to catch up with Vance and Parker, leaving Uris, six ponies, and a nameless driver alone in the Humvee.

“Welp,” Uris sighed, setting Fluttershy down on one of the seats, “I really should see what this is all about.”

“Eep,” Fluttershy squeaked, immediately following him out of the Humvee.  “I-I think I should come with you.”

“No, you’re all staying in the car,” he replied, pointing back to the Humvee.  “It’s my job to head up there, not yours.”

“Well, if it’s a direct order…” Rainbow Dash said, swooping out of the Humvee and landing by Fluttershy’s side.

“What-seriously bitch?  You’re gonna come along just because I toldja not to?”

She nodded with a stubborn smile on her face.

“Fine, then…uh…please come with me.”

“Too late for reverse psychology, pal,” she said, trotting past him.

“And-and I really must insist,” Fluttershy added quietly, her voice falling.  “That-that I should be the one who-who comes along with you in case y-you’re hurt.  I-I really have to insist.  You know, if-if that’s okay with you.”

Immediately, the other four joined their pegasus friends at Uris’s feet.  “Okay, now all of you want to go?”  Uris said exhaustedly.

“Heck yeah!  Somepony’s gotta make sure Dash don’t run off an’ do somethin’ stupid!”  AJ said.

“Dahling, please, what kind of friends would we be if we let two of our own set off by themselves?”  Rarity added, tossing her perfect, purple mane.  

“You never know when you might need a good blast from the party cannon!”  Pinkie screeched, whipping out her trustiest weapon and nailing Uris with a full-blast of confetti and streamers to his face.

“Yeah…” Twilight said distantly, still scratching her chin over the little farming village that had escaped her memory.  “Friendship and…all that…shit.”

Rolling his eyes, Uris beckoned them to follow as the columns of Marines funneled past.  “C’mon,” he grumbled, and the ponies set off with their human companion, galloping past the building they watched Vance disappear behind and rounding the corner, leaving one very confused Humvee driver behind to try and explain to his NCO how he had just been shuttling two high-ranking members of the United States Military, a semi-omnipotent being, a missing helicopter pilot, and six elementally-powered talking ponies around.


Vance dashed through Coltton’s main square, not pausing until he reached the SEALs’ leader.  “Captain Vance,” the Lieutenant said, saluting.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I am Lt. Miller.”

“Likewise,” Vance replied, halting his pace instantly to stand ramrod straight and salute.  “What’s the sitrep?”

“We got one royal taken hostage,” the SEAL sighed, handing a pair of binoculars to the Marine and pointing to a rooftop.  Vance spied through the goggles and grimaced.  Five enemy soldiers, armed with assault rifles and at least two rocket launchers he could see, all focused on one little pony princess.  “One of my own entered the building with a local Royal Guard when the latter attempted a rescue.  We lost sight of them both ten minutes ago.”

“Any demands yet?”  Vance asked, shifting his focus to the SEALs taking up strategic positions all around the building.

“That we surrender the whole village to them and lay down our arms,” Miller replied, an exhausted smirk on his face.

“All with the Ridchir’s usual macho posturing and exclamations of superiority, I’m sure,” Vance grumbled, turning at the sound of boots approaching.  He grimaced again as he watched Parker jog up to him, followed closely by his son and the Elements of Harmony.  “Goddammit, boy, why aren’t you in the Humvee?”

“What?”  Parker gasped, just slightly out of breath.  “But sir, you asked me to…”

“Not you, Parker!”  He kept glaring past his Second at Uris, keeping it up until the pilot landed by his side, grinning like a maniac as he saluted.  “Son, I asked you a question, and as your superior officer I expect an answer.”

“You still expect me to sit on the sidelines?  Besides, I figured whatever you were facing might be something the Elements of Harmony could handle.”

Vance turned his glare on the ponies, who returned it five-fold (Fluttershy was still holding Uris’s leg as closely as she could).  Eventually, the old Marine turned his stare at the crowd of ponies still huddling in fear in one corner of the square.  He pointed.  “We need those natives to remain calm, can you handle that?”

“Please, sugarcube,” AJ replied.  “‘Elements a’ Harmony’ ain’t just a title, y’know.”

“Then get to it, if you will,” he added, quickly turning to maintain his observation of the building.  

“Alright, you heard ‘im,” Rainbow barked.  “Let’s make sure everypony’s calm over there, now!”  The other ponies leapt into action, heading towards the crowd with a precision and determination that could only be described as military-like.

“Huh,” Parker said.  “It’s almost like an army headin’ to work, what they’re doin’.”

“They have experience with this sorta thing,” Uris said matter-of-factly, turning a snide little smile on his father.  “In fact, you could say they’re the perfect ones for this job.”

“Wipe that smile off your face, boy, the war ain’t over yet.”  Vance said without turning around, his grimace hardening as he stared down the enemy soldiers holed-up in the building across from him.

Chapter XXI: Chaos Rising

“There has to be another way!”  Luna gasped.  “We will not accept that the only solution is to offer up one of our own as a sacrifice!”

“It’s perfect, though,” Discord said stoically.  “Those soldiers outside have already demonstrated their willingness to throw themselves headlong against us, regardless of their odds for success.”

“But whoever remains behind will be totally overwhelmed!”  Celestia exclaimed.  “I’ve seen Mars in combat against Swarm; just one of us can’t fight both him and his soldiers!  Now, if all four of us were to remain behind…”

“Then there is still a high chance for failure,” Swarm sighed.  “Mars is very powerful.  If we are going to fight him, we will need every advantage possible.  The shock of suddenly landing in Equestria, combined with the American forces present when we land, will add such an advantage.”

“There just has to be another way,” Luna cried.  “There has to be!”

“There isn’t.”  Swarm replied, pushing himself to his feet.  “We all know what must happen.”

“No,” Celestia said, racing to his side.  “Not you.  Why you?”

“I am responsible for Mars’ genesis,” Swarm replied, trying to hold back a sob.  “As his father, I should be responsible for…for ending him.”

“We-we can still come up with something!”  Luna cried.  “Celestia, tell him!  We can still come up with something!”

The Princess of Day just silently looked up into the man’s eyes.  He gazed sadly down at her, then up at the seal protecting their time bubble.  A massive thud resounded from the other side, followed by a microscopic crack in its surface.  

“There isn’t time,” he said.

“I know,” she replied, choking back another flood of tears.

He stroked her mane a few times before slowly hovering off the non-existent ground.  Her hoof remained on his pants leg for as long as it could before he ascended out of reach, heading towards the seal.  “Thou can’t be serious!”  Luna screeched hysterically.  “Tia, he isn’t serious, right?  This is some dramatic, macho posturing on his part, right?”

“Luna dearie,” Discord said quietly, speaking seriously for the first time in her memory.  And that’s when it hit her: this was a thing.  This was absolutely happening.  

“It can’t be, it just can’t,” she mumbled, eyes wide in shock.  Celestia walked to her side, resting her hoof against her sister’s.  They watched solemnly while Swarm rose to the seal and inspected it.  The microscopic crack was now an inch long.  It would be time soon.  

“Mr. Li?”  Discord asked, and Swarm turned to see the Lord of Chaos hovering next to him, looking sadly into his eyes.  

“Yes, Discord?”

“We may have our different philosophies, but that doesn’t change one simple fact: that you’re probably the bravest being I’ve ever met.  Human, Equine, or whatever.”

“No I’m not,” Swarm replied with a half-hearted smile.  “But the sentiment is appreciated.”

Discord offered his hand with a smile, and Swarm took it gladly.  Almost instantly, a loud buzz filled the air and Swarm’s entire body seized, his hair standing on end as his face twisted in what had to be a perfect imitation of a cartoon character shaking hands with a few thousand volts.  The Lord of Chaos released him and watched him drop.  “Holy CRAP!”  He screamed, barely able to contain an excited smile as he revealed the joy buzzer in his hand.  “I can NOT believe you fell for literally the oldest trick in the book!”

“DISCORD!”  Celestia bellowed, taking to the air with her sister on her heels.  Feigning a yawn, the Lord of Chaos side-stepped their charges and tapped them both on the back of the head.  Instantly, an assortment of jumper cables, garden hoses, and Christmas lights snaked out of his palms and wrapped themselves around the sisters, sending them crashing to the ground next to Swarm.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?”  Luna screeched, struggling against her bonds.

“He’s betraying us, sister.”  Celestia mumbled, not even trying to pull herself free of the tangle encasing her body.  

“W-we knew he couldn’t be trusted!”  The Princess of Night exclaimed.  “Nobody wanted to listen, but we knew…”

“Oh, do cut the dramatics, Luna,” Discord grumbled as he descended to Swarm’s body and rummaged around in the semi-omnipotent being’s clothing, eventually producing the man’s cell phone.  “It’s very unbecoming for a princess.”

With a snap of his fingers, Discord watched as a set of nylon climbing rope snaked out of the Princess’ bonds and wrapped around their mouths, gagging them.  Clearing his throat, he redialed the number he needed and pressed the little device to his ear.  “Nasreen, darling?”  He said in Swarm’s voice.  The princesses screamed, trying to warn the woman on the other side, but with their gags the best they could manage were some barely-audible squeaks.  

“Chen!”  Nasreen screamed, “I swear, if you hang up on me again, I will…”

“There’s no time to explain, the enemy’s breaking through!  I need that portal now!  Please!”

After a few seconds of silence, the woman sighed.  “Only because you said ‘please’, Chen.  Don’t think this means you’re going to avoid sleeping on the couch for the next week.”

“Well, you cold bitch, why don’t you just go ahead and make it a whole month?”  Discord said with an evil grin.

“Oh, you little pile of…”

“Love you, darling,” he cackled as he flipped the phone shut, crushing it in his talons before whispering to the unconscious man at his feet: “Sorry, Swarmy, it’s my nature.”  A massive, green burst of energy illuminated their tiny bubble.  Once the portal stabilized, the Lord of Chaos dragged Swarm’s body along the ground before simply tossing him through, watching him land safely in a field just outside Coltton.  Luna was next, her muffled screams for him to “take thine unholy claws off the princess’ mighty body!” going unnoticed until he gave her one decent shove and watched her plummet through.  Finally, the smile began to waver on Discord’s face.  Sighing, he turned away from the portal and walked over to Celestia’s bound form.  She didn’t struggle, though she was shooting him the meanest, most angry stare she could manage.

Kneeling beside her, he calmly removed the gag.  “I swear, Discord, whatever it is you think you’re doing, you should…” she started.

“I rarely think about what I’m doing, Celestia,” he interrupted with a tiny smile.  “I find it to be a rather distasteful habit, one which is hard to drop once it has been picked up.”

“Then I swear, you best release me or I’ll…” and he gagged her again, this time with a kiss.  She couldn’t have been more shocked if he had whipped out an M-16 and shot her.  It was long and filled with that same passion that burned whenever he spread his glorious brand of chaos to another stuck-up and orderly world.  His eyes remained gently shut while hers rolled back, her initial shock melting away against that incredible, scorching passion.

It was over all too soon.  “I…” she started, but found she couldn’t say anything more.  So she kept on like that: “I…I…I…”

“Oh, don’t be so shocked, Tia, don’t you know the big hero always gets a kiss from the princess before running off to do battle with the horrible monster?  At least, that’s how it always goes in your obnoxious little fairy tales.”  

“I…I…”

Sighing, he replaced her gag and threw her over his shoulder.  “Now, you and me, Tia?”  He shook his head.  “There’s one heckuva match.  It certainly would be interesting to try, at the very least.  Maybe if you just loosened up once in a while, eh?”

“Mmmph?”

“No, I’m telling you right now, those little ponies wouldn’t all descend into anarchy and warfare if you took a day off for the beach.”  He cradled her in his arms, holding her right over the green glow of the portal.  “I’m not asking for much here, just that when this is all said and done, you’ll take a day off once a year and just do something for your own sake, okay?”

“Hmph!”

“Okay,” and then he dropped her; just let his arms droop and watched her disappear down the portal.  He watched her fade into the swirling mass of green energy and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I must be growing senile with age,” he grumbled, “developing feelings for a pony.  A princess, no less!”

A cocky little smile spreading across his face again, he turned to face the seal over their bubble, which by now had a hundred hairline cracks across its surface, with one massive, meter-long crack splitting right down its middle.  “Okay little one,” he mumbled, “I have seen your power, just as you have seen mine.  We both know what the other is capable of.  Still, you seem to be laboring under the delusion that you can defeat me.  I mean, come on!”  He snapped his fingers.  “In all your years of living, nobody ever told you?  Nobody ever sat you down and informed you of this one simple fact?”

Raising his claws, he hissed under his breath: “In the end, chaos ALWAYS wins.”

And then the seal shattered.

Chapter XXII: Realizations

“ALRIGHT, PONIES!  KEEP IT DOWN NOW!”  Rainbow screamed at the frightened crowd gathered below her.

“Um…you know…if it would be quite alright…” Fluttershy added next to her.  

“SERIOUSLY!  ONE WRONG MOVE AND WE COULD ALL BE ANNIHILATED HERE!”

“So…um…if it wouldn’t be too much of a bother…”

“…JUST COOL YER HOOVES AND LET THE PROFESSIONALS HANDLE EVERYTHING!”

“…Not that we think any less of your abilities to…handle yourselves…”

As the pair continued in the sky, the rest of the ponies distributed blankets and supplies from the back of a truck the humans had provided.  “Don’t push now,” Rarity said to the line gathering at their hooves.

“There’s plenty ‘nough t’go around.”  Applejack added, handing a blanket and a bottle of water to the nearest filly.

“ ‘Scuse me, Miss Applejack?”  The filly asked, handing his bottle to the nearest pony.

“Yes, young man?”  She replied.

“What are these creatures?  Do you know what’s going on, and why they’re fighting?”

“Uh…” she stalled, trying to think of the best way to condense the chaos of the past day into a few sentences.  Unfortunately, Pinkie beat her to the punch.  

“They’refromawholeotherworldwherehumansinsteadofponieswoundupbecomingtopdogandnowthey’reinvolvedwithawarfromanotherworldwhich…”

“Breathe, Pinkie.”

The Element of Laughter gasped twice before continuing: “callsitselfTheRidchirwhichisafunnycoincidencewhenyouthinkaboutitsincethat’sjustananagramfor…”

“Alraght now, settle on down,” AJ sighed, rolling her eyes before turning to the inside of the truck.  “Hey, Twilight!  What’s keepin’ those blankets!?”

“Hmm?  Oh!”  The little violet unicorn perched atop a pile of sacks filled with hayseed quickly grabbed a stack of blankets and levitated them to the rear of the truck.  “Here you go, sorry about that.”

AJ offered a sheepish smile to the filly before tossing a blanket over his head and galloping to Twilight’s side.  “Twi, what’s up with ya?  You’ve been lost in the clouds ever since we climbed outta that fancy-pants cart the humans got!”

“Oh, it’s nothing AJ,” Twilight said, grabbing another wad of blankets.  “There’s just been so much to absorb today!  Alternate dimensions, bipedal and sentient beings, wars across worlds, and the technology the humans have developed…”  She shook her head.  “It’s all too much!  The things we’ve learned about in the past hour alone could keep Equestria’s top scientists occupied for decades!”

“Twi, Ah know this is all very interestin’, but we got a lotta ponies out there dependin’ on us to stay calm and get through this in one piece.”

“I know, I know…” she said, heading deeper into the truck with a worried look still etched onto her face.  

“That’s not all, is it?”  

“No,” Twilight sighed eventually.  “It’s the name of this town; I know I’ve heard it somewhere.”

“Actually, y’know what?  I think Ah’ve…” Applejack figured it out in a second.  She would never know why.  Maybe it was the fact that she was a more grounded pony: a pony with a mind more based in reality than Twilight’s, and less cluttered with the thousands of different postulations and theories that ran through her unicorn friend’s head every day.  Or maybe it was just pure, dumb luck.  Either way, she had it, and the moment she did she realized how absolutely devastating it would be to her friend.  The Element of Honesty’s lips locked up in fear, trying to conceal the truth hidden behind them.  

Twilight recognized the look on her friend’s face immediately.  “Applejack?  Are you hiding something?”

“N-no!  A’course not Twi!  Wh-what could Ah possibly be hidin’?  Ah mean…”

“Applejaaack, what is it?”  Twilight asked sternly.

“N-nuh-nothin’!  Ah-Ah…” sweat dribbled down the earth pony’s face as her friend stared right into her eye.

“Applejaaack…”

AJ sealed her lips shut, trying to look everywhere but into Twilight’s eyes.

“Does it have something to do with this village?”

AJ couldn’t help but nod.  As the Element of Honesty, she really didn’t have a choice.

“Does it have something to do with why its name sounds so familiar?”

AJ nodded again.  Twilight maintained her stare.  It kept up like that for almost five minutes as the earth pony’s defenses slowly wore down.  Finally, she gave in.  “Alraght Twi,” she sighed.  “Ah’ll tell ya, but you gotta promise me you’ll keep calm an’ not lose it when Ah do.”

“What?  Applejack, why would I…”

“Just promise, okay?”  The earth pony looked at her friend with as much desperation and as much seriousness as she could muster.  

“Oh, alright,” Twilight said eventually.  

“Okay, now Twi,” AJ rested a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.  “Ah’m sorry Ah gotta be the one t’say it, but…remember after the weddin’?  With Cadence an’ yer brother?”

“How could I forget!”  Twilight exclaimed.  “We had to fight off the entire Changeling…”

“No Twi, Ah said AFTER the weddin’.  What Cadence and Shinin’ said they were gonna do?”

“Of course I remember,” she replied pridefully.  “They said they were going to Coltton to…”

The unicorn trailed off, her eyes widening in horror.  

“Now, Twi, we still need yer help around here, and you promised you’d…”

The purple unicorn was having none of it, darting around the back of the truck wildly, as if she was going to find Shining Armor and Cadence underneath a sack of hayseed.  “Ohno…ohno…ohno…”

She whimpered, tears welling in her eyes.

“Now, Twi…ya-y’all promised…”

“I-I-I…” she clenched her hooves over her face, hyperventilating as the tears came pouring out, spilling down her face and trickling onto the wooden paneling below.  AJ held her, trying her best to calm her as Twilight’s head bucked back and she screamed: “SHINIIIIIIIIIIINNNGG!”


Shining Armor paused in his step.  “Hmm?  Twilight?”  He asked, looking around the stairwell.  He could have sworn he’d just heard his little sister’s voice calling to him, from somewhere far off.  Of course, that was impossible, right?  It was probably just wishful thinking on his part, hoping that his sister could be at his side, supporting her big brother in what had to be his darkest hour.  But then again, that was pretty selfish of him.  No, it was better that Twilight was safe, miles away from all this.  

With a heavy heart, he brushed his memories aside and continued on; heading towards the door that opened to the rooftop terrace.  “Goodbye, Twily,” he mumbled sadly, choking back a lump in his throat.




“Twilight!”  Applejack screamed as her friend rocketed out of the truck, darting through the crowd wildly.  “Consarn it, girl!  Y-ya said…”

“Has anypony seen my brother!?”  The little purple unicorn gasped, ignoring Applejack.  When she was met with blank stares, she started rocketing through the crowd, darting in front of random ponies and asking them about a “big white unicorn with a blue mane who probably came with a pink-colored princess.”

“Y-you mean Shining Armor, right?”  A young mare asked.

Twilight leapt in front of the mare, landing right in her face.  “You’ve seen my brother!?”

“Um…yes,” the mare replied, blushing.  “He and I were next to each other when those…things first started rounding ponies up.  He-he was very brave.  You’re saying he’s married?”

Twilight instantly cooled and lowered a steely gaze on the mare.  “Yes.  I’ll have you know that he is happily married to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“Oh,” the mare said disappointedly.  “I-I should’ve known.  Someone like that deserves a…oh no, did you just say Princess Cadence?”

“Y-yes,” Twilight said, now deeply concerned.  “Why?  Has something happened to her?”

The mare nodded and pointed to the rooftops.  Twilight wheeled around, spying on a few enemy soldiers gathered up there, which was weird, since the only thing they’d done so far was some shooting.  Why were they just standing there?  Come to think of it, why were the other, friendlier humans just standing in the square, keeping their distance yet remaining focused on…

The reason came to her in an instant.  “Oh no.  Oh nononononononononono…” she whimpered.

“Muh-Mr. Armor ran after her a while back,” the mare continued.  “I thought he was just doing his duty, but I guess if it was his wife…wait, where are you going?”

Twilight was already gone, galloping towards the sandbag barricades surrounding the building.

“Hey, where’s she goin’!?”  Rainbow Dash exclaimed, swooping after her.

“Ah dunno,” AJ replied, trotting after her friend.  “Ah thought Ah’d keep my distance, but this is gettin’ weird.”

“Wait, what about the ponies?”  Fluttershy asked timidly as she delivered another blanket and bottle of water.

“I think the attentions of our friend deserve a bit more of our focus, don’t you?”  Rarity replied, grabbing her and taking off after Twilight.  “Besides, we’ve done the best we can by now.”

“I-I suppose that’s true,” Fluttershy sighed, gazing back at the crowd in concern as she was dragged away.

“Aww, but I didn’t even get to do my special Pinkie dance!”  Pinkie Pie sighed, appearing next to Applejack.

“Tch,” the orange earth pony snickered.  “Based on what happened back in Appleloosa, that’s probly a good thing.”

Chapter XXIII: To Save a Princess

“Dammit,” Uris grumbled, slamming a fist on the barricade in frustration.  “Why isn’t anybody doing something?  These bastards should be dead by now.”

“Hostage situations are complicated, son,” his father replied, still spying on the rooftops with his binoculars.  “Rushing headlong into one is only going to result in a dead hostage.  You’d do well to remember that.”

“I know, dad, I know,” the pilot grumbled.  “It’s just that I feel so useless right now!  Here, somebody important to my friends is in trouble, and I’m totally useless!”

“How do you think I feel?”  Miller added as he leaned against the sandbags by Uris’s body.  “One of my own went in that building, and I can’t even get close enough to peek in on him!  It’s killin’ me, but I know getting too close will only get us one dead pony princess.”

“Just relax and let the SEALs handle it,” Vance added, his eyes never leaving the binoculars.  “Soon, Miller’s men will be in place, and we’ll have the perfect shots lined up to take ‘em all out and rush the building.”

“I know, Dad, I know.  Still…” Uris drifted off, his hand propping his head up.  Vance looked over to him in concern, his eyes leaving the binoculars for the first time in ten minutes.  

“Son,” he said.  “There’s something I should tell you.”

“Hmm?”

Vance hesitated to continue, but he knew his son deserved to know, and at least what he had to say would serve as a distraction from their current situation.  “It’s about the agreement we made with the…Royal Court: the ruling body in this place.”

“What about it?”

“It has to do with your…’friends.’  You see, the government here wasn’t too happy with a bunch of rough types like us landing here in the first place.  Something to do with ‘contaminating the radiant dreamflow,’ or some shit like that.  Anyway, before they’d let us land, we had to agree to…”

He was interrupted by a pair of violet hooves smashing into his back.  The air knocked out of him, the old soldier still managed to tumble with the blow, twist, and pin his assailant to the ground.  “What in the…” he started at the sight of Twilight’s neck in his grasp.  “Miss Sparkle!?  What the hell is…”

“You knew, didn’t you!?”  She screeched, struggling to force her hooves out of his iron grip.  “You knew who was in there, and you didn’t tell me!!”

“Twilight!  Calm down!”  Uris gasped.  “For heaven’s sake, let us…”

“Shut up!  For all I know, you knew too!  You all knew!  You…”

“Twilight!”  Applejack galloped up to the group, immediately turning to apologize to Vance.  “Celestia above, we’re mighty sorreh about our friend’s behavior…”

“Alright, egghead!”  Rainbow called as she swooped overhead.  “Hit ‘im with a left hook to the jaw!  That’ll have him seein’ stars!”

“RAINBOW!”  AJ screeched, glaring up at her friend.  The cyan pegasus sighed and landed at her side.  Applejack glared a while longer before continuing: “Like Ah was sayin’, we’re awful sorry ‘bout what’s happened here.  Twilight’s a li’l…stressed out.”

“She just assaulted a member of the United States Armed Forces,” Miller said icily.  “What excuse could she have for that?”

“YOU KNEW MY BROTHER WAS IN THERE!”  Twilight screamed as the rest of her friends galloped up to them.  All eyes turned on her as she continued: “You knew Shining Armor was in there, and you didn’t even tell me about it.”

“Shining Armor,” Uris asked.  “Who’s that?”

“Aw, shit,” Miller sighed, and all eyes drifted from Twilight to him.

“Something you want to tell us, Lieutenant?”  Vance asked.

“She’s talking about the unicorn who went in with my man.  The one we lost sight of goin’ on fifteen minutes ago.”

Jaws dropped all around.  “That was…your brother?”  Vance squeaked.  Twilight nodded, keeping an icy glare on him.  All eyes settled back on them, waiting for Vance’s next reply.  After some thought, it came to him: “Miss Sparkle, I need you to know that I’m sorry your brother was involved in this.  From what I hear, he was a good man…pony, sorry, who fought well for the ones he loved.  That being said, you should know that we are doing everything in our power to get both him and the Princess out safe.  And you can trust me on that because I am U.S military, and we never leave anyone behind, you understand?”

After a while of mulling that over in her head, she reluctantly nodded, holding that icy glare in her eyes.

“Good.  Now, I’m gonna let you up, and I trust that you won’t do anything crazy like attack us when I do, okay?  I’m doing that because I’m asking you to trust me, so it’s only fair that I reciprocate.  Deal?”

She nodded again, still glaring.

“Okay,” he eased off her, releasing her hooves one at a time before slowly backing away.  She quietly pushed herself up and rejoined her friends, watching the humans the entire time.  Vance glared right back.  “Lieutenant, how much time do we have before we can hit the building?”

“Couldn’t be more than a few minutes, by now,” Miller replied coolly.  

“Good.  Let’s make sure we keep ourselves updated as the situation evolves inside.”  

“But of course,” Miller said, eyeing the building.  “Thank God shortwave’s still working, or this’d be impossible!”

“Mr. Vance?”  Twilight asked, and the Marine’s gaze switched from Miller to her.  She kept the glare aimed at full blast on his face.  “If anything happens to Shining, I’ll hold you personally responsible, understand?”

“Perfectly,” he replied before joining Miller’s attention on the building.


The door creaked open as slowly as Shining Armor could allow it.  His joints aching, he slowly made his way across the rooftop terrace to the small group of men gathered near the balcony.  Cadence was nowhere to be seen, almost certainly hidden from view where rooftop snipers wouldn’t be able to see her and possibly take out her guards.  Well, there goes that last little hope, he sighed.  

“Where are the others?”  One of the masked men asked menacingly, leveling an assault rifle on a spot between Shining’s eyes.

The unicorn paused, but stood his ground, staring right down the weapon’s ugly, black barrel.  “I came alone.”  He replied.

“Liar.  We saw you enter with an American,” the man spat, as if just saying the word left a sour taste in his mouth.  “We permitted you entrance because we thought you might be representatives from both the pony and American sides.  Were we wrong to assume this?”

“I am Shining Armor of the Royal Canterlot Guard!”  Shining bellowed.  “Commander of all forces responsible for the safety of the Princesses and the security of Canterlot castle!”

The man raised an eyebrow and lowered his weapon.  This was unexpected.  “All security in Canterlot, you say?  You could direct us there?”

“I could.”

“And even order the guards in and around the castle to stand down?”

Shining just nodded.

“Very well,” the man said with a massive grin on his face.  “We accept your surrender, Mr. Armor.”

“Not so fast,” Shining raised a hoof.  “First, I have to know Cadence is okay.”

“Hmm,” the man replied, tapping his chin.  With a snap of his fingers, two more men appeared at Shining’s sides, weapons ready.  “And what is keeping me from simply extracting what I wish from you via force?”

Shining glowered at him as both men advanced, one reaching into his pocket for a sedative.  Suddenly, the unicorn lashed out, a spinning hoof kick sending one of his assailants sprawling over the ground before following up with a blow to the other’s jaw.  Before anyone could react, he tore open the clasp on one of the soldiers’ belts and levitated his combat knife from its holster, pressing its edge against his own throat.  “If Cadence is gone, then I have nothing to live for but my duty to Canterlot.”  He explained plainly, the knife just a few millimeters short of his jugular.

The man frowned, then smiled, and finally settled on a fearsome, rumbling laugh that tumbled off the rooftops around them and echoed throughout the square.  “Well played,” he snickered while applauding.  “You ponies show an initiative not even I predicted.  Perhaps we shall spare some of you in the days to come.”

Shining Armor was silent.  A tiny amount of blood oozed out from around the knife.

“Very well,” the man said, snapping his fingers again.  One of his soldiers nodded and reached behind a terrace plant, pulling a bound and struggling pony princess out by the back of her neck.

“Cady!”  Shining gasped, his grip on the knife faltering.

Cadence’s captor held her, pinning her body beneath his knee while his leader reached over and pulled the duct tape gag off her mouth.  “SHINING!”  She gasped the moment her lips were free.  “Don’t do it!  I’m not worth all of Equestria!  They need you to…”

“And that’s enough of that,” the leader said, replacing the gag before turning back to Shining.  With a placid look on his face, the human drew his sidearm and knelt at Cadence’s side, pressing the weapon’s barrel against her head.  “You’ll surrender now, or I will squeeze this trigger and end her life.”

Shining Armor sighed and dropped the knife, his eyes drifting shut as it clattered away.  The man he stole it from quickly scooped it back up before backhanding him across the face.  The moment the unicorn fell two more men were upon him, wrapping his hooves in a strange tape that shimmered as they applied it.  He stared through the haze caused by the blow up at the enemy leader.  “A member of Equestrian royalty and the leader of their guard!  I should say our invasion is already off to a good start,” he said, his smile wavering as he gazed out at the American military forces poised in the square below.  “Barring a few minor setbacks, of course.”

“Wait,” Shining rasped.  “You have me.  Just…let Cadence go.”

“Well now, that’s just not going to happen,” the Ridchir officer replied, securing a few strips of tape over the unicorn’s mouth.  “You’ve already made it clear that she is the only way I can have any control over you.  So she will be accompanying us as we ride with the rest of our forces to the main assault on Canterlot.”

“HMPH!”  Shining screamed, bucking back and summoning any and all power he had left in his body.  His horn sparked with magic, only to grow dark almost immediately.  He looked up at it in confusion: he had to have SOME juice left, how was this possible!?

“Oh, were you expecting a neat little charm or magical blast to disable me and my men?  I’m afraid that isn’t going to happen so long as that tape remains on your body.  The glue is made from a little element we discovered in our travels.  You won’t find it in Equestria, but it has the wonderful effect of sucking the magical power away from any user it remains in contact with.”

“Mmph,” Shining moaned, gazing over at Cadence.  She had closed her eyes, a single tear drifting down the side of her face.

“Inform the enemy of our latest acquisition,” the leader said to one of his subordinates, who nodded and returned to the balcony overlooking the square, megaphone in hand.

“THE UNICORN YOU KNOW AS THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR ROYAL GUARD IS NOW OUR PRISONER OF WAR.”  He bellowed.  This announcement was met with a few scattered cries of horror from the crowd, including one violet unicorn that suddenly dashed from behind a barricade, screaming in anguish.  She was swiftly tackled by a cyan pegasus, who held her until a few other soldiers could drag her back to the barricade by force.

Shaking off this little development, the soldiers’ announcement continued: “YOU HAVE OUR DEMANDS.  ALL AMERICAN AND EQUESTRIAN FORCES WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS AND MAKE THEMSELVES OUR PRISONERS OF WAR, OR THESE PONIES’ LIVES WILL BE FORFEIT.  THAT IS ALL.”

He returned to his comrades, where his officer grasped him on the shoulder.  “Do you really expect them to surrender?  Just like that?”  The soldier asked, handing the megaphone back.

“Of course not: they’re Americans, after all.  Stubborn and foolish as mules, every one of them.  You remember how they were in our world: so utterly determined to hold on to their so-called ‘freedom’ that it took years of reeducation before they came to realize the enlightenment of submission, and even then we still hear of the occasional terrorist attack against our forces in their cities!”

The soldier nodded in understanding as the officer continued: “No, this is just to ensure they keep their distance until the remainder of our forces arrive to relieve us.  And then…” he knelt beside his prisoners and took Cadence’s chin in his hand, gently stroking her mane.  She shivered in his grasp, more tears flowing down her cheeks.  “Then, Equestria is as good as ours.”

“God-DAMN!  I knew you Ridchir boys liked fuckin’ horses, but couldja at least take her to a dinner and a movie first?”  The soldiers all froze and turned to the source of the voice: a strangely handsome man wearing a leather jacket, with a cocky half-smile, jet-black hair, and the smoldering remnants of a cigarette clenched between his fingers.

Chapter XXIV: Swarm's Rise

“Shuh-Shining!  Oh Celestia, Shining!”  Twilight sobbed from the ropes keeping her secured to the barricade.  Tears flowed down her face as she bucked against her restraints.  Applejack and Rarity were trying their best to comfort her, while Fluttershy stood nearby, comforting a soldier as he held his crotch and tried to fight back tears.  

“Suh-sorry for what my friend did, she’s very distraught,” she said to him quietly.  “It looked like it hurt.”

“Don’t worry, ma’am,” the soldier replied, trying desperately to hold on to a brave face despite the overwhelming jets of pain wracking his body.  “Compared to my first week of Basic, one buck to the groin ain’t that bad.  Though I really hope the doctors can track down my left nut.”

“Oh…uh…I do too,” Fluttershy said, looking over at Applejack in confusion.

“Ah’ll explain when ye’re older, sugarcube,” she sighed, stroking Twilight’s mane.  Just a few yards away, Rainbow Dash stood by Uris, Miller, and Vance’s side, keeping an eye on the rooftop.  She hadn’t told Twilight about Cadence and Shining’s restraints, nor did she have any intention of doing so.  “Gosh, this is terrible,” she sighed, her voice quivering as she peered through the set of field binoculars she’d been given.  

“It’s a fucking nightmare, is what it is,” Uris added, kneeling by her side as she handed the binoculars off to him.  “I mean, it’s killing me just sitting here, watching the bastards stand there and rub this shit in our faces.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like for Twilight.”

“You best stow those emotions away for now, son.  They have no place on the battlefield.”  Vance said stoically, stepping into the conversation.

“Y-yes, sir.”

The aging Marine nodded his son’s way and turned to Miller.  “How much time do we have until our boys get a clear shot?”  He whispered, eyeing the crowd of ponies watching the rooftops anxiously.  “We could be looking at a full-scale riot if this isn’t resolved soon.”

“Too early to tell,” Miller sighed.  “My snipers are in place, but we’re talking about a half-dozen shots that need to be lined-up and timed perfectly!  If just one of those rounds misses…”

Suddenly, their radios all crackled to life, and a familiar voice sounded over them: “Hello?  Hello?  Testing, one two three…”

“Who in the hell…” Miller started.

Vance just grabbed his own radio and nearly tore it off his uniform in lifting it to his lips.  “Swarm!  You crazy bastard, where the hell have you been!?”

“Oh, Vancey!  So good to hear your voice again!”  Vance’s radio (and only his radio) replied.  “Terribly sorry, but there’s a bit of a situation developing abroad that needs a lot of my focus.  Had to leave before I could even grant y’all a right and proper goodbye.”

“I-is that the commander?”  Miller gasped, recognizing the voice from a half-dozen intelligence briefings.  “How is he only talking to you?  We’re on the same frequency!”

“Oh, my dear Miller,” Miller’s radio responded.  “You should really work on your ability to question the world around you if that’s the only question on your mind.”

“Some things are better left unexplained,” Vance replied before returning to his radio.  “Well Swarm, it’s good to hear your voice again, but we have a bit of a situation developing here too.”

“Yes, I know,” the semi-omnipotent being on the other side grumbled.  “I obviously underestimated the enemy in your little neck of the woods.  I thought you could handle it, but Mr. Armor being thrown in the mix…complicates things.”

“Wait, you know Shining Armor is up there?”  Rainbow Dash asked.  “Just who are you, anyway!?”

“Like the man at your side said, Ms. Dash,” Uris’s radio replied.  “Some things are just better left unexplained.  Besides, answering that question would require at least a fundamental understanding of basic electronics and nanotechnology.”

“Look, Mr. Swarm,” Uris said, somehow unshaken by the fact that a semi-omnipotent being was having a private conversation with him over a radio that couldn’t possibly be on a private channel.  “We could really use any help you can give us.”

“Ask, and you shall receive, m’boy!  Now, as I said, the situation developing here requires nearly all my focus, but I might be able to send a little something your way.  Why don’t you keep an eye on the building with all the bad guys in it, hmm?”

Confused, the helicopter pilot scooped up his binoculars and peered through them, keeping the radio pressed to his ear.  And then his jaw dropped.  “Oh, you’re a maniac,” he said to his radio.

“Man, why does everybody keep saying that?”  Uris’ radio asked.  “That was a rhetorical question, by the way: I know damn well why everybody keeps saying that.”

As Uris watched, Vance and Miller quickly followed his gaze with their own goggles, their jaws dropping in unison.  “Oh my God, he can’t be serious,” Miller said.

“Believe me, he absolutely is,” Vance grumbled.

“What?  Who is this guy?  What’s going on?”  Dash asked.  Uris just handed his binoculars over and crouched down beside her, directing her gaze to one specific window on the building’s top floor.  She blinked and adjusted her sights on it, eventually making out a man in a leather jacket and plain blue jeans, one hand grasping a radio while the other waved enthusiastically back at them.

“Oh, no way,” she said as every human’s radio crackled to life.

“Sir,” a new voice said.  “This is Bravo-Two, reporting in.  We just received word not to open fire until the…uh…”

“What is it, private?”  Miller asked vacantly, still in shock.

“We just received word not to open fire until…until the ‘pretty pink pony princess sings.’  W-we believe it was the Commander, sir.  He said…”

“Just follow those orders, son,” Vance interrupted as he watched the man in the leather jacket suddenly leap out the window and grasp the bottom of the balcony, hoisting himself up and onto the rooftop.  “And trust me when I say that everything’s under control.”  

Chapter XXV: Back to the Sisters...

After nearly half an hour of struggling, Celestia and Luna managed to spit out their gags and wriggle about twenty feet away from where they had started, leaving just three miles for them to go before reaching Coltton.  “That dirty little…” Luna started grumbling.

“Luna, please don’t say anything against Discord,” Celestia muttered quietly.

“Why shouldn’t we, sister?  He hath betrayed our entire cause for…”

“He hasn’t betrayed anything,” Celestia replied.  “I’ll tell you later.”

“Just face facts, sister!  We were taken for a ride by the most neglectful, hateful, little…”

“LUNA!”  Celestia barked, and this time her sister saw the rage-filled tears welling in her eyes, the way her lips quivered as they continued along.  Finally, Luna fell quiet, and for the next ten minutes the princesses worked their way along in silence.  

“Celestia,” Luna said, finally breaking the quiet.  “I…I’m sorry, I just…we wish to understand what just happened to us.”

After a short pause, Celestia came up with a decent reply: “Discord fooled us in the most incredible way possible.  A way I could never see coming.”

“Yes,” Luna nodded.  “Okay sister, I will believe…LOOK!”

Celestia craned her neck, peering over the hill they’d just scaled.  At the bottom laid a certain Asian humanoid, now clad in his regular business attire and still unconscious.  “Finally!  I thought we’d never find him!”  She exclaimed, rolling down the hill to his side.  Luna soon followed, and immediately the sisters started jabbing the man’s sides with their hooves, sticking out ever so slightly from the bundles of USB cables wrapped around their hind legs.

“Swarm!  Come now, this is no time for sleep!”  Luna yelled.

“He isn’t just sleeping,” Celestia realized aloud as the humanoid remained firmly unconscious.  “Whatever Discord did to him has him fully incapacitated.  I highly doubt anything short of a magical burst or something to interrupt Discord’s hold would bring him back.”

“Well then,” Luna immediately charged up her horn, filling it with as much dark energy as she could for one massive burst of power.  A purple burst of lightning arced from her horn, only to fizzle out before it could even touch Swarm.  “Wha-what?”

“It must be these bindings,” Celestia grimaced.  “Not only are they immune to magic, but they’re draining what power we do have!”

“Why would Discord do that!?”  Luna moaned, slamming herself against the ground in frustration.  “He already has us bound and sealed off from the nether-dimension!  Why go to the trouble of draining our powers!?”

“Because Swarm might be able to open the portal to the nether again, and then we might interfere.”

“Interfere?  Interfere with what!?”  Celestia didn’t reply, only peering over her shoulder at the meadow they had just escaped with the saddest look Luna had ever seen on her face.  “Right, later,” the Princess of Night said, throwing herself into a renewed struggle with her bonds.  Lashing around and bucking this way and that, she barely even noticed when the tip of her hoof scratched against Swarm’s face.  The man grimaced and turned over in his sleep.

“Wait a moment…” Celestia said.  Rolling over to his side, she reared her bound hooves up and brought them down on the man’s chest as hard as she could.  The man groaned before settling in against the grass once more.

“Sister!”  Luna gasped.  “We know thou must be quite frustrated with our current predicament, but that is no reason to lash out against our bipedal comrade!”

“He can still feel!”  Celestia said.  “Don’t you see?  Whatever sleep spell Discord has him in isn’t as deep as he may like!”

“So we might be able to wake him up!?”

“I doubt it,” Celestia’s eyebrows wrinkled in thought.  “But I think we can get his self-defense mechanisms to bring him back to something resembling coherency.  Maybe not fully awake, but aware enough to send out a distress signal!”

“Well, if all it shall take is enough pain inflicted upon our comrade,” Luna said, raising a hoof over Swarm’s groin and aiming an apologetic look his way.  “Sorry, dearest friend,” she sighed before bringing her hooves down with all her might.

The man gasped, his eyes bugging wide open as a high-pitched tone erupted from his throat, climbing in pitch and volume beyond the sisters’ ability to hear it, but to still feel it.  “God above, that’s awful!  ‘Tis like a thousand cats being thrown under a steamroller!”  Luna moaned, wishing desperately for freed hooves to block her ears.

“You’ve never hit a stallion there, have you sister?”  Celestia replied, clenching her teeth in pain.  The scream dragged on and on until, all at once, it stopped.  The man in the business suit made one last little gasp, not too unlike the sound an air hose makes right when it’s closed off, before collapsing back into unconsciousness.  

Their ears ringing, the princesses gazed warily at one another.  “Was that the signal?”  Luna wondered aloud.

“I do hope so,” Celestia replied.

“Well, darn.  That was rather loud, but what do you suppose the odds that anyone even heard it are?  Probably not too good, right?”

Celestia noticed something in the corner of her eye, and looked upwards.  She smiled at the sight of a small ball of light rocketing out of the clouds towards them.  “Oh, I don’t know.  I for one like to hope for the best.”

Immediately, the ball landed not twenty yards away from them, sending shockwaves rippling across the valley and messing up the princesses’ manes.  A massive cloud of dust punched up into the sky, out of which sprang a man in a leather jacket with jet-black hair and two pistols in his hands: a .38 Peacemaker in one, a Colt M1911 in the other.  As they watched, the man tucked and rolled off one shoulder and landed at the sisters’ sides, weapons trained on them.

“Wah-oh!  Princesses!  My eternal apologies,” Swarm quickly holstered his pistols and bowed.  “I just heard a cry from my brother and reacted was all, I didn’t mean any…”

“Swarm, Discord is launching a suicide charge against the enemy and he’s disabled your brother to keep us from interfering.”  Celestia interrupted.  

Luna gaped at her sister.  “What!?”   She gasped, horrified.

Swarm grimaced.  “Greatest trickster I ever did know,” he mumbled, pressing a hand to his brother’s forehead.  After a few moments, his eyes shimmered and the grimace deepened.

“Well?”  Celestia asked.

“Discord does have something over him,” Swarm replied.  “It might take a few minutes, but I think I can…no, FUCK!  C’mon, you slippery little…yes…yes…no…NO…NO YOU LITTLE…”

“Swarm?”

“It’s some sort of virus, but it’s not like anything I’ve ever seen before!  It’s emitting a series of mild electromagnetic pulses throughout my brother’s body to keep him incapacitated, but every time I track it down…yes…yes…c’mon…” he grimaced, sweat dripping down his forehead.  “…no, NO, FUCK!  It keeps jumping to a new component whenever I think I’ve got a grip on it!  It’s so damn fast, almost like...”

“Something is guiding it around by hand?”  Celestia shook her head, “That wonderfully glorious bastard.”

“I think I can…” suddenly, Swarm looked up at the sky and screamed: “Aw, C’MON!  One thing at a time, please!”

“What is it!?”  Luna gasped.

“Nothing much,” he replied, raising one hand while keeping the other pressed to his brother’s forehead.  “Just another thing to handle, just another thing…” sweat dripped off his eyebrow from sheer concentration.  His breathing became labored, as if he was running out of strength to devote to it.

“Perhaps we could…” Luna began.

“NO!  No need, ladies,” he said, shooting an exhausted grin their way.  “Just put your…hooves up and relax; I’ve got this-is-is-is…”  

The princesses watched as for a few seconds, Swarm jerked and repeated the same motion over and over again, not too unlike a record caught in a loop.  He quickly returned to his work without even thinking about it.  The girls eyed each other warily.  “Swarm, are you very sure you’re…”

“Of-of course *bzzt* course!  Why-why-why wouldn’t I be?  I am the-the-the-the-the-the-the…” he smacked himself.  “I am the one everybody turns to when they g-get problems, so how could I have…” He paused mid-announcement.  “I-oh, no.  Nonononononono…”

“Swarm?”

“I’ll be right back!”  He screamed, and suddenly he was gone, even as the sisters screamed for him to be careful.

“Oh dear,” Luna sighed.  “We’re really in trouble this time, aren’t we sister?”

Celestia nodded.  “The hour has not been this desperate since Chrysalis’s attack on Canterlot.”

They continued eyeing the sky warily, until Luna spoke again: “Sister?”

“Yes, Lulu?”

Taken aback by Celestia’s use of her old nickname, along with the desperation of their situation, Luna completely forgot her question.  “N-nevermind,” she said, pausing for a few moments before remembering again.  

“Sister?”

“Yes?”

“Dost thou think we should have asked Swarm to free us whilst he was still here?”

“Shit.”

Chapter XXVI: To Save All That You Hold Dear...

Almost immediately, every firearm on the rooftop was focused on the man in the leather jacket, even the officer’s pistol.  The man just took a drag off his cigarette and flicked it over his shoulder, hopping off the balcony and taking a step towards the soldiers.  Shining and Cadence could only watch in confusion as the man slowly raised his hands, the smile never leaving his face.  “Congratulations, you got me.”

“I-Identify yourself!”  The officer barked, the pistol wavering in his grip.

“Well, if you insist,” the man spread his arms out with theatrical embellishment.  “The name’s Swarm: firearms expert, Commander of the American Expeditionary Forces in Equestria, Mayor of Los Angeles 205649-XD, Lord of the Dance, and all-around handsome devil.”  He winked an eye Cadence’s way, who arched an eyebrow at him in return.

“I’m sorry,” the leader said, staring at the newcomer in confusion.  “Did you just say: ‘Commander of American Expeditionary Forces in Equestria’?”

“Hmph,” Swarm crossed his arms and pouted.  “And here I was hoping you’d be more interested in hearing about my mayoral race in L.A.  Why does nobody EVER want to hear about that!?  I had to kiss, like, a million kids for that shit!”

Sighing, he continued: “Yes, I’m the guy who, on paper, is running the show down there.”  He hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the American forces gathered below.  “Really though, it’s all ceremonial.  I’ve had a couple other guys doing the job for me.  Honestly, I could die right now and it probably wouldn’t faze them a bit.”

“Oh,” the leader sighed.  “That’s unfortunate.”

“Now, what makes you say that?”

“Because if you had some real power, I’d have a reason to spare your life,” and with a snap of his fingers, his men immediately opened fire, pouring dozens of rounds of hot lead into Swarm’s body within the space of a few seconds.  The Commander watched, grinning.

And then the grin faded.  His eyes widened in horror.  The man standing on the rooftop across from him was still standing there, completely unshaken by a barrage that should have killed him fifty times over.  “H-how…” he gasped, his men starting to reload.

“Oh, it’s quite simple really,” Swarm replied proudly.  “I just…”

He was interrupted by yet another barrage of bullets.  Sighing, the man in the leather jacket waited patiently until the weapons around him were spent once again.  Once that finished, he looked back at the other men on the rooftop, tapping his foot impatiently.  “Now, are we done?”

“I…how…”

“Okay, good.”

The Ridchir officer holstered his weapon and strode up to the man in the leather jacket.  Eyes wide, he swept a hand across Swarm’s face, only to watch it pass through.  He sighed and allowed his hand to return to his side, his eyes narrowing again.  “A projection.”

“Bingo bango.”

“How cute.  Tell me, how is this possible?  Mirrors?  Some light-bending technology we haven’t acquired yet?”

“Actually, the answer is far more complicated,” Swarm pulled the cigarette pack out of his pocket again and held it up to the officer, extending one as an offering.  The officer actually started to reach for it before catching himself, grimacing at the little joke.  Swarm grinned as he stuck one of the cigarettes into his mouth and lit it up.  “Basically, you can think of me as a few tiny but highly advanced photonic generators exciting the atomic structure of the air comprising my structure, forcing it to emit light at the proper wavelengths required to maintain this illusion.”

“Marvelous,” the officer smiled widely, his eyes lit up like a kid’s on Christmas morning.  “Such technology could be put to incredible use for The Ridchir!”

“Oh, but that’s not all!”  Swarm raised his finger and spoke like a game show host revealing the prize behind door number 3: “It’s also capable of manufacturing a crack in the bulk polymer of a given adhesive, propagating it throughout said adhesive’s structure to cause a complete cohesive fracture!”

“I…um…great!”  The officer smiled, not wanting to give away that he had no idea what Swarm had just said.  Neither he, nor the men behind him, noticed when the tape binding Cadence’s lips suddenly came loose, flopping uselessly off her upper lip but remaining stuck tight to her lower.  She looked up in shock, ready to scream for help just as Swarm raised a finger to his lips and eyed her for the quickest split second, long enough for her to see, but fast enough to be dismissed as a weird gesture.  She swallowed the scream and pressed her upper lip against the tape, making it look as natural as possible just as the officer looked her way.  He gave his prisoners a quick once-over and returned his attention to the man in the leather jacket as he started talking again.

“But really, all this is truly irrelevant when compared to this device’s real use!”

“And what would that be?”  The officer asked in honest anticipation.

Swarm looked to his left, then to his right, and beckoned the officer forward, eyeing the other men on the rooftop suspiciously.  The officer leaned forward, allowing Swarm to press his lips to his ear and whisper: “It makes for a great distraction.”

“What-“ the officer started, already reaching for his pistol just as the door to the stairwell burst open and Ramirez exploded into view, Uzi blasting.  The officer died instantly, the hail of bullets aimed at his back slicing through his body and passing harmlessly through the projection in front of him.  Another of his men swiftly followed as Cadence fell over, one of the soldier’s boots clocking her in the face in his frantic bid to turn and face the new threat in time.  Completely disoriented, she cried out in pain and surprise, the weakened tape easily falling off her face.  Her scream was quickly followed by a cavalcade of sniper shots, slicing down the last of the men while they twisted around to face Ramirez.

It was all over in the space of a few seconds.  Just like that, every Ridchir soldier on the roof was dead, Marines and SEALs alike were charging the building and dashing up the stairs, and Ramirez was still standing in the doorway, his Uzi smoking from having spent yet another magazine.  The automatic and rifle fire echoed off into the distance as the SEAL reloaded his weapon and stooped by Armor’s side, peeling the tape off his lips.

“Y-you get away from…” Cadence started.

“No, hon, it’s alright!  Really!”  Shining interrupted, smiling up at Ramirez.  “He’s a friend.”

“Damn right,” Ramirez added before clocking the unicorn across the jaw.

“Ow!  What in the…”

“Shining!”

“That was for choking me out and leaving me down there,” Ramirez said, waggling his finger in Shining’s face.  “And by the way: you only won because you got the drop on me.  I had you down for the count before you pulled that bitch move.”

“Okay, fine, I guess I deserved that,” Shining sighed, working his jaw while Ramirez set to work freeing his hooves.  “But…thanks for saving us, all the same.”

“That only makes the second time today,” Ramirez grinned.

“Yeah, I really should…” a glint of something caught the unicorn’s eye, and he looked just in time to see one of the Ridchir soldiers yank the pin off his grenade and roll it towards them.  His eyes widened.  He’d seen these strange little balls in action during the initial assault on Coltton: they were the whole reason why the town’s hall was now a burning ruin.  Ramirez took one look at it and threw himself over the two ponies while Shining summoned a shield.  The unicorn watched the little explosive bounce towards them, could almost hear the clicking of the tiny mechanism inside ticking off the moments until it would release its payload, and watched the faint shimmering of a weakened shield rise around them.

‘Oh Celestia,’ he realized, watching the ball spin to a stop just a few yards away, ‘I can’t contain the whole explosion!  I’m still too weak, we’re gonna die, and Cadence is gonna die and Ramirez isn’t gonna see his family againandit’sallbecauseI’msoweakand…’

Hardly thinking about what he was doing, Shining pressed his hind hooves against the ground and launched himself over Ramirez’s shoulder, flattening his body in mid-air to cover as much of the SEAL and the Alicorn as he could with his own body.  He watched Cadence’s eyes widen in horror, her mouth slowly moving to form his name.  He watched Ramirez twist around, lunging for his hoof.  He wondered why he hadn’t hit the ground yet.

And then the world exploded.

Chapter XXVII: Chaos Falling

Back in the nether, Discord’s eyebrows rose and his hands subconsciously went to his crotch.  “Smart girl: she figured out my little trick,” he mumbled before a shoulder-launched rocket slammed against his face, sending him flying through the nether.  Of course, with nothing to hit, he had plenty of time to climb atop it and grip its directional fins, steering it right back around towards a cluster of soldiers and leaping off just as it blew them straight to hell.  “YEEE-HAWW!”  He shrieked, a cowboy hat materializing in his hand as the dust from the explosion settled.  “Y’all sure do know how t’throw a rodeo!”

The soldiers responded with another volley of rifle and machine gun fire, which he blocked with a magical shield while stifling a yawn.  “Oh, come now my little dearies,” he sighed, rocketing down towards them and scattering them with a sonic boom.  “Surely you can do better than that.”

Leaping back to their feet, the soldiers rushed him with whatever weapon they could find: some with their fists, even.  He replied with a massive sweep of his tail that threw every man off his feet, where they landed in a mass of sticky pink cotton candy.  “All I am saying…” he whirled around and slashed with his claws at a man coming up behind him, sending him twirling away, “…Is that it shouldn’t be too much…” whirling in the air like a ballerina, he landed deftly on a commander’s head, using the man as a shield for the gunfire meant for him as he pirouetted around, a tutu appearing around his waist, “…To ask for a bit of creativity!”

Two helicopters circled overhead, bearing down on him with heavy machine guns and rocket launchers blazing.  Rolling his eyes, Discord snapped his fingers and watched as the choppers were transformed into large masses of bubbles, which drifted apart and sailed off into the nether, leaving their former pilots behind to land at the Lord of Chaos’s feet.  He scooped one of them up by the front of his uniform and screamed in his face: “I mean, come on!  Show a little bit of variety to spice things up, that’s all I’m asking for!  Is that really so hard?”

“So you want something different, hmm?”  A deep and horrendously cold voice asked from somewhere high above them.  It took all of Discord’s strength to hide the shivers it sent racing down his spine.  

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” he said coldly, barely even noticing as the few remaining men gathered in a tight circle around him, allowing just enough room for the man in the grey trench coat to descend amongst them.  He snickered.  “Well, well, so the big, bad, leader finally decides to…”

With blinding speed, Mars’s fists lashed out in a pair of jabs aimed at Discord’s throat.  The Lord of Chaos narrowly dodged the blows, swatting them away with his claws and replying with a punch from his bear paw, which simply rolled off the top of Mars’ head.  Immediately, the two were locked in an up-close and personal duel of hand-to-hand combat, both moving so quickly some of the soldiers gathered around had to look away or risk vomiting.

“Oh, so that’s it then?”  Discord asked, sweeping at his opponent’s feet with his tail.  “No witty repartee?  No back-and-forth in an attempt to add tension to the scene?”

“No,” Mars said coldly, dodging Discord’s sweep and replying with a roundhouse kick aimed at the Draconequus’s throat.  “I find that to be cliché.”

“A shame,” Discord said, ducking under the kick and sending a punch towards the man’s exposed crotch.  “Your father (well, the American one, at least) was more than willing to oblige me on that front.  Enthusiastic, in fact.”

“My father…” Mars sneered, leaping from Discord’s grasp and rolling to his feet a few yards away, a dark look crossing his face.  “My father is a weakling, too ‘afraid’ of his impact on the lesser beings of the metaverse to ascend to his true calling and bring unity to those deserving of life!  My father sought to bend me to his will, molding me into just another copy of himself for him to control.  He wished to turn me into a perfect mirror from which he could admire how good and wonderful he is in the ultimate act of vanity!”

“Oh, lovely,” Discord sighed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.  “Let me guess: this is the part where you regale us all with a tale from your childhood under the cruel and oppressive Swarm, thus ensuring that we see you as a mere victim of circumstance and that you become a more relatable character?”

“No,” the man said flatly, extending his hands.  A pair of shimmering, chrome spikes extended from his wrists, tapering off to a pair of horrendously sharp points.  Discord’s eyes widened as the man slowly advanced, spikes still extended.  “This is the part where you die!”

The man leapt at Discord, a look of pure fury in his eyes.  The Draconequus raised his hands to defend himself, only to be driven back by the sheer force of his enemy’s blows.  His feet slid a good twenty feet over the barely-existent floor before he managed to stop himself, a shockwave booming off into the distance from the hit.  Cringing, he barely had time to block as the man lashed out at him with the spikes, striking again and again with a strength and speed that could only be described as feral.  Then, just as Discord thought he might have discovered some sort of pattern in his enemy’s attacks, he noticed movement in the corner of his eyes.  He knew what it was: the soldiers advancing on his flanks, hoping to add enough confusion to the melee to give their master the upper hand.

‘This is it,’ he realized.  ‘It’s die here, or die there.  But then, I guess there are worse places to kick the bucket than in one’s own backyard.’  A grin crossed his face and he delivered a shove to Mars’s shoulders.  His enemy stepped back, stunned, as the Draconequus rose into the air.  “You believe you’ve won!?  Give me a break; you have yet to deal with my ultimate attack!”

The man sneered, raising his spiked wrists.

Summoning a bit of a light show, Discord raised a glowing paw and closed his eyes, wishing for a cigarette and a blindfold as he mumbled some nonsense charms.  Nothing much: just a few little spells that threw some sparks and made his body glow, filled the air with a few sound effects, all for the benefit of his audience below.  His ploy worked like a charm: a hand clamped over his mouth and squeezed with enough force to shatter a lesser being’s jaw.  He opened his eyes to watch as Mars raised him over his head, throwing him down with the kind of force that could knock planets off course.  Discord hit the ground hard enough to shatter every bone in his body.  As it was, a small spell he’d cast over himself managed to protect him from death, though just barely.  He turned on his side and coughed, spitting a bit of blood up on a couple soldiers’ boots.  “Is...is that all ya got, daddy’s boy?”  He grinned, revealing two rows of fangs that were now broken on top of being mismatched.

With a cry of fury, Mars rocketed towards him, the sheer force he pushed off with causing a sonic boom to echo into the distance.  And still, Discord waited, biding his time, waiting until the absolute last second, when Mars’s fist made first contact with the tuft of fur on his chest.  Then, the Draconequus sent a tiny, nearly subliminal pulse through the ground.  In an instant, a green circle appeared around every being in the void, sending them crashing right through into an entirely different world, Mars following through with his final blow, still screaming in rage.


Somewhere in the distance, a massive boom rumbled.  Luna turned away from Swarm’s unconscious body and watched, her eyes widening in terror, as a massive plume of smoke blasted into existence somewhere far away.  “Sister, what do you suppose that is!?  Some new sort of attack from the enemy?”  

Celestia looked away, tears streaming down her cheeks.  Luna kept gaping at the explosion, which by now had taken on a strange green hue.  “Say,” she wondered out loud.  “You don’t think that green color could be…”

Suddenly, the man lying on the ground between them bolted upright.  “That traitorous bastard!”  He bellowed, scanning his surroundings.  Eventually, his eyes fell on the princesses.  “Oh great,” he added, pushing himself to his feet and stretching.  “He got you as well, hmm?”

“Actually, Swarm, we’re not entirely sure Discord betrayed us,” Luna added.

“Whatever do you mean, Princess?  Why else would he attack us?”

“Well, uh…” the Princess of Night looked uneasily at her sister, who by now had buried her muzzle in the ground.  “Celestia believes he was actually…saving you.  Taking your place as the bait in our trap.”

Swarm cocked an eyebrow.  “Why in the metaverse would he do that?”

“Perhaps we have misjudged him.  Perhaps we have been too quick to declare him a villain.”

“Free us.”  Celestia mumbled.

“Too quick to…” he trailed off as Celestia’s voice built up to a harsh whisper behind him.  “He’s the Lord of Chaos, Luna!  He has earned that title through years of spreading disharmony and mayhem throughout reality!”

“But perhaps that is just his way: a harmless prank here and there…”

“Free us.”

“A harmless…” he slapped the palm of his hand against his forehead.  “Do you even remember his reign?  Or the terrors he spread when your sister freed him to test the Elements of Harmony?  He almost corrupted them!  He was perhaps a few days away from permanently warping them into beings of hate and despair, completely lacking the memory of the friendship they once shared!”

“But he DID accomplish what Celestia asked of him!  I mean,” she shrugged sheepishly.  “We discovered each Element’s weakness: Discord found and exposed what each was vulnerable too.”

“Free us.”

“No Princess, I just can’t buy it,” Swarm shook his head and crossed his arms stubbornly.  “He went much too far with his little ‘test’ for us to still call it as such.  That incident was a deliberate attack meant to test his strength against ours, perhaps for a future breakout!”

“Well, if that was truly meant to…”

“Will you quit debating and get around to LIBERATING US ALREADY!?”  Celestia screeched, her voice booming over the valleys.  The other beings with her stared at her in shock as she continued: “In case you’ve both forgotten, there is a war going on!”

“Oh, I’m sorry sister; there was just so much to get Swarm caught up on!” Luna gasped.

“I beg your pardon, Princess,” Swarm bowed apologetically before setting to work on her bonds.  “I allowed myself to get distracted by current developments.  I wish…”

“Shut up and get me out of this,” she said coldly.

Swarm paused in absolute shock, but continued work on her bindings.  “Again, I’m so sorry, sister!”  Luna added.  “I didn’t even get around to pointing out the explosion!”

“The what!?”  Swarm wheeled around and faced the mushroom cloud dissipating in the distance, eyes widening at the sight of the green glow at its heart.  “Dearest God, he actually…”

“SWARM I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IF YOU DON’T GET ME OUT OF THIS SHIT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I’LL RAM MY HORN SO FAR UP YOUR ASS IT’LL CHANGE YOUR SNOT TO PIXIE DUST!”  Celestia screeched.

This time, Swarm obeyed without another word.  Luna didn’t bother apologizing this time.  She took one look at the fury in her sister’s eyes and realized that now was the time to keep her mouth shut.  The three remained silent as Swarm worked with the tangle of VCR cables and Christmas lights around the Princess of Day’s body when he realized something.  “Huh,” he mumbled.

“What?”  Celestia asked flatly.

“Well, I’m just not sure why you two had any trouble escaping these bonds,” he replied.  “They just seem to be an ordinary, if highly entangled, collection of assorted household products.  There is some magical hue to them, but it appears to be fading.”

“Discord’s hold on them must be failing!”  Luna realized out loud.  “Celestia, I think we can…”

Before her sister could even finish her sentence, Celestia burst free and blasted into the air with a flap of her wings.  The Princess rocketed off into the sky, a white blur shooting in the direction of the green hue now fading away somewhere in the distance.  

“Goddammit, wait!”  Swarm screamed, leaping into the sky with Luna at his heels.  “Where is she going!?”

“To help Discord: he might need us!”  Luna yelled as they raced to catch up with the white blur.

“Well, that must be a sentence I’m sure you thought you would never say!”  He grinned at her.

“Today is just full of surprises, isn’t it!?”

Chapter XXVIII: Saving Grace

Ramirez slowly sat up, head spinning, ears ringing.  The world spun around him, sliding in and out of focus.  A pink blur trampled over his legs in a wild attempt to reach another blur, this one white with blue and red highlights, but the waves of pain wracking his body were such that he barely even noticed the new pain in his legs.  He thought that was weird.  A bit of his hearing returned, and he realized someone was screaming “Shining!” over and over again somewhere far away.  He thought that was also weird.  What was shining?  The stars?  Yeah, they were pretty, but why would that make her scream one word over and over again?  And what was with that voice?  It sounded so desperate, did somebody need his…

And then the world slid back into focus.  “Shining,” he gasped, dragging himself across the rooftop.  Cadence was standing over his Equestrian brother-in-arms, one hoof clenched in hers, begging for him to open his eyes.  “Shining!”  He yelled this time, head still spinning as he grabbed the little white unicorn by the shoulder.  Shining Armor was lying on his back, eyes closed, blood soaking into his mane.  “SHINING!”  He screamed, turning the little white unicorn on his stomach.  He nearly retched at the sight.  Shining’s back was almost totally gone: there wasn’t a speck of white to be seen, all replaced with the ugly, charred black of burnt flesh.  Shrapnel littered his body, he could see it sticking out of wounds here and there, could even see where a piece of scrap had gone completely through his neck and stuck out the other side.

“SHINING ARMOR!  GODDAMN YOU, OPEN YOUR EYES!”  He screamed, his voice still sounding far-off to his ringing ears.  “SHINING!  C’MON!”

Cadence wept at his side, hooves wrapped around the unicorn’s body.  Behind them, the first few marines were just filing through the entrance door, scanning around to ensure the rooftop was absolutely secure.  “What the hell happened…” one of them started to ask.

“GET A MEDIC UP HERE, STAT!”  Ramirez screamed.  “OR A VET!  WHATEVER!  JUST FUCKIN’ GO!  GET SOMEBODY UP HERE TO HELP HIM!”

“That won’t do any good,” a voice said above him, and somehow, despite the tinnitus, this voice was loud and clear in the SEAL’s ears.  Ramirez gazed up at its owner, up at the man in the leather jacket with the old look in his eyes and the saddest expression he’d ever seen on his face.  “He’s still alive, the shield was able to do that much, but he won’t be for long.  Those burns alone mean he’ll…”

“I DON’T CARE!”  Cadence screeched, surprising everyone on the rooftop.  “I DON’T CARE!  JUST DO SOMETHING!  IF THERE’S A HOPE, PLEASE, HE…” she sniffled, on the verge of sobbing.  “He’s the only reason I kept fighting.  He’s the only reason I didn’t give them what they wanted.  Please, he’s…he’s the only reason I can stay brave.”

Swarm looked down at them, a cigarette dangling from his lips.  He took a drag off it and knelt at their side, cradling Shining’s head in his gentle fingers.  He looked up to the stars, scanning, as if searching for something.  “What do you think?”  He asked.  “Is it this one’s time to rest?”

A few tense moments passed before he turned back down to the little pony’s face in his hands, feeling the ragged breathing and rapidly fading pulse through Shining’s neck.  “Perhaps?  Maybe?  Oh hell, I’ll just wing it, then.”  He muttered before pressing his hand hard against the burns on Shining’s back.  The unicorn winced in pain as gray goo spurted from Swarm’s fingers, covering his wounds and enveloping his back and neck in a cocoon of ooze.  The pony princess and the human warrior watched in awe as it undulated and quivered over Shining’s body, pieces of shrapnel squeezing their way out one by one as time passed.  Eventually, the ooze retreated, revealing a perfectly healthy little white unicorn.

“Sh-Shining?”  Cadence asked, poking the side of his head with the edge of her hoof.  He suddenly jolted upright and gasped, sucking in air as if he’d been underwater for the past few minutes.  “Oh, Shiny!”  She squealed, tears of joy in her eyes.

“Cady, what…” he started before she wrapped her hooves around his neck and kissed him with every ounce of passion in her pretty pink pony princess body.  He came out of the kiss, sucked in a breath of air, and collapsed on the ground, still gasping while Cadence stayed by his side.

Eventually, he looked up at the human squatting nearby.  “Welcome back to the land of the living,” Ramirez said, smiling warmly.  

“I-I guess w-we’re even now, huh?”  Shining gasped.

“Yeah, but who’s counting?”

“Oh, guess I…I…” Shining grinned, stroked Cadence’s mane, and promptly fainted.

“Shiny!?”  His wife gasped frantically.

“Oh for- what is it now!?”  Ramirez groaned.

“Sorry, I only had enough power left to replace tissue, not regenerate blood,” Swarm sighed as a man in a uniform with a big red cross on its back dashed onto the rooftop.  “I figured that wouldn’t be completely necessary, though.”

The medic pressed a hand to Shining’s forehead (over Cadence’s protests).  “Okay, okay, here’s hoping unicorn and pig plasma ain’t all that different…” he muttered under his breath, reaching into his backpack for a plastic bag of golden liquid.

“And just like that, it’s my time to leave,” the man in the leather jacket said, stepping up onto the balcony.  For some reason, Ramirez seemed to be the only one to notice.  

“Wait!”  He said.  “Just who are you, anyway?”

Swarm smiled knowingly and replied: “The Son of Man.”

Ramirez paused, eyes widening.  He gripped the crucifix under his uniform.  “Wha-what?”

“What, were you expecting someone with more facial hair?”  Swarm grinned, smile slowly widening before he suddenly jabbed the SEAL on the arm.  “NNAAAAHHHHHH I’m just messin’ with ya!”

“Wha-wha…”

“Man, that’d be crazy though, wouldn’t it?”  Swarm smiled, his ancient eyes twinkling in the starlight as he gazed upwards, a trail of cigarette smoke following his head.  “They sure are pretty tonight, aren’t they?”

“What-oh!”  Ramirez followed his gaze.  “Yeah, I guess.  I didn’t really notice with all the excitement, but they seem prettier than back…” he looked back at the man in the leather jacket, only to find a perfectly empty balcony, the wind scattering a few withered leaves through the spot where Swarm should have been standing.

“…home.”  Ramirez finished, already trying to decide if this encounter justified a trip to a church or to a shrink’s office.

Chapter XXIX: Chaos Fading

The Lord of Chaos opened his eyes, his vision blurring in and out.  With a snap of his fingers, his eyes refocused, but that was all he managed.  He’d just used the last shred of his magic to survive the impact.  He couldn’t get rid of the pounding in his head, he couldn’t repair any of his lacerated organs, and he certainly couldn’t repair the shattered bones in his skeleton.  He could do something else, but it’d be the coward’s way, he knew that.  Best to save that for a far more desperate situation.

He managed to sit up, but with a cringe, decided that lying down might be a better choice for the moment.  His eyes scanned around, his neck screaming with the effort it took to swivel his head about.  He was lying in the middle of a hole, surrounded by flames and rocks and assorted forest detritus.  No wait, not a hole.  Holes didn’t have scorch marks running along their walls.  This was a crater, and he was at its center.  “Hoboy, I certainly hit with quite a bit of force, didn’t I?”  He sighed, mumbling to himself.  He managed a painful, broken-tooth filled smile.  It was a miracle he’d had the magical power left to survive.  Not many beings would have.

Grinning with pride, his gaze turned upwards, and immediately the smile evaporated.  Just about a mile overhead, he could see the figure of a man in the dark trench coat and sinister cap, complete with jet-black boots.  “Mars,” he realized.  “He’s here too, but where’s…”

His eyes worked their way around the crater again, this time focusing on the trees standing just beyond its edge.  As he suspected, the enemy army had him completely surrounded.  Sure, to the unobservant the forest was empty, but even in his weakened state Discord could see the glint off an assault rifle’s barrel here, the dark patch in the bushes that could only be the sleeve of an enemy’s uniform there.  “Well, there’s nothing for it then,” he sighed again, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to wait for the final blow.

And he waited.

And he waited.

Something wasn’t right.  Mars could have killed him a thousand times over by now.  Hell, at this point the regular drones probably could have finished him.  So why hadn’t they?  In fact, why hadn’t Mars killed him in his sleep?  It would be the tactically sound thing to do.  And why was every soldier focused on his crater?  Surely Mars was more than enough to keep an eye on him.

Unless…

Oh shit…

He wasn’t the target here.  He was the bait.  Oh fuck, this was exactly why he’d blocked the Princesses off from the nether!  He just knew someone would get taken, and one of them would have to make a decision they really weren’t ready to make!  And it wound up being him!?  Stupid!  Why did he think this plan would go off without a hitch!?  Why did he seriously believe something would go right this day!?

A low hum began to fill his ears, and his heart filled with dread.  It was the sound of something approaching at hypersonic speeds.  And in this world, that could mean only one thing.  Some stupid, gullible, idiotic excuse for a semi-omnipotent being was blundering right into the enemy’s trap.  He watched as Mars ascended to some higher altitude, far from the detection of any being he could think of.  He could have sworn he could see a grin on the bastard’s face.  The entire forest grew quiet, as if every living creature was holding their breath in anticipation.

‘So, who’s it gonna be?’  He wondered. ‘Which of the Swarm siblings gets it on my account?  The Kraut?  The Yank?  Or hell, maybe that Beaner with the kangaroo fetish…’

His gaze happened upon a white streak somewhere in the distance, just above the tree line, and his heart sank even lower.  “No,” he gasped.  “NO!”  He tried to lift his head again, but the pain shooting through his body was far too much.  

“Of course it’s you,” he sobbed, lying hopelessly there in the dirt and charred rock. “Of course it’s you, you stupid pony princess.  I should’ve known, you stupid…wonderful…beautiful…”

But then, he was the one who told her how he felt.  He was the one that just HAD to go out in style, with a stupid little one-liner and a kiss from the lady.  He just HAD to, thus ensuring she’d rush to his side at the first sign of trouble.  So who was the real idiot here?

“Me,” he sniffled as she rushed to his side, panic in her eyes.  “Always me.”  

Celestia wrapped her hooves around his shoulders and started screaming something he couldn’t hear.  Possibly because of the adrenaline coursing through his body.  Possibly because his eardrums had been blasted to bits at this point.  Likely because of his absolute focus on what he had to do.  “Celestia?”  He asked after a while of her babbling.

“Discord?”  She replied, and somehow that time her voice was crystal-clear.

“Shut up,” he said before surprising her with a kiss yet again.  This one was even more passionate than the last, probably because he knew it might be the last thing he ever did.  He gripped the side of her neck, supporting himself to lean in close in spite of the pain screaming through his body, but he knew he had to sit up.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to see what he needed to.

A glint of silver appeared in the sky, right where Mars had disappeared, and the Lord of Chaos reacted.  With one last burst of strength, he shoved the Princess aside, using the sheer surprise of his move to roll Celestia over and force her under his body, just in time to block the metal spire rocketing down at them from out of the sky.  He felt it enter him, bouncing off his carefully-positioned spine (or what was left of it) to redirect it just a few millimeters to the left before exiting his body, ensuring it only scratched the side of her flank.  He yelped, groaned, and shook; completely paralyzed, completely unable to move for fear that his body would just collapse on top of her like a house of cards built on the San Andreas Fault.

“Discord?”  She asked, eyes widening in shock.

He opened his mouth, started to say something: some last, witty one-liner to make for a decent epitaph, but all that came out was another torrent of blood, dribbling onto Celestia’s perfect white coat.

Chapter XXX: Unleashed

The Princess of Day laid there in shock, not even noticing the near-torrent of blood raining onto her face.  “D-Discord?”  She tried again, unable to believe she’d just watched a fatal blow.

The Lord of Chaos gasped, trying to gain one more breath of air before the end, as if the only thing that mattered was the iota of comfort one last breath would bring.  Then his eyes rolled back and he collapsed on top of her, what little air left in his lungs leaking out.  “Discord, no, please,” she whispered, voice wavering.  “Keep your eyes open just a little while longer, okay?  Just a little while: Swarm’s on his way, and you know how good he is at this sort of thing.  You know how good he is at fixing people up.  You’ll be back in fighting condition in no time, okay?  But if you go…”

She choked.  “If you go, you’ll be gone forever and ever and I can’t stand knowing somepony gave their life for me.  Especially not somepony who did it out of love.  That’d kill me Discord, because I know you don’t have anything even close to a sense of duty, so that’s the only reason you’d do this and…and if you die and I know that it was just for me…I…I’d…” tears streamed freely down her cheeks.  “I…I…I…”

He started to fade from her grasp, becoming more and more inconsistent.  His fur turned to jelly in her hooves.  “Discord?”  She asked as the jelly began to evaporate into clumps of dust, the last bits of his energy, his very essence, dissipating into the nether.  “No, DISCORD!”  She screamed as even the blood on her face grew warm, disappearing with the great quantum wind which swept all beings away into whatever waited for them in the end.  “DISCORD, PLEASE!  DISCORD…”

He was gone.  Just like that.  His body didn’t weigh on hers, his fur didn’t warm her coat, and she couldn’t even feel his blood on her anymore.  In that moment, she would have given anything to even have that back, to have just something of him left, anything…

“Discord!”  Somebody called out mockingly, and a choir of laughter broke out from the forest around her.  She looked up, gazing upon The Ridchir’s army, surrounding the crater and laughing at her.  At HER.  The Princess of Day, the one who raised the sun in the morning, the one who had protected Equestria for millennia, the one who everypony turned to for advice and wisdom.

The one who had just lost something very near and dear to her.

In an instant, Celestia’s pain melted into anger.  She pushed herself up, her wings lightly cleaning her coat.  Something dark washed over her eyes.  She gazed up at the soldiers with the fury of the sun itself blazing in her eyes, and in an instant the laughter stopped.  

“Why did you all stop laughing?”  She growled in a voice that wasn’t entirely hers.  “It was all so very very VERY funny just a second ago.”

The soldiers responded with a volley of shots, spending every last round of ammo in an attempt to put down the pony in the middle of the crater.  A few mortar shells joined in the havoc, raising more dirt and dust than Discord’s impact had.  A few minutes later, the last of their ammo clips had been expended and every soldier stepped to the pit’s edge, lobbing their grenades.  The forest shook with the additional explosions, the pink-leaved trees trembling and letting a few more leaves drift to the ground.

After the onslaught, one officer leaned over the edge, perked an ear over the dust-filled crater, and listened, waiting for the last of the echoes to fade off into the distance.  He needed to rely on his ears: the explosions had kicked up such a thick cloud of smoke that it would have been impossible to judge what was going on by sight alone.  Rubbing more dirt from his eyes, he cupped a hand over his ear, waiting for something.

Quickly and silently, a horn appeared in front of him.  Before he could cry out in alarm, a dark bolt of pure energy blasted from it, sending him flying back into the forest with half his chest missing.  The soldiers nearest to him watched, eyes widening in horror, as a very different Princess Celestia walked out of the pit, her eyes dark and glowing with red energy.   “Well, fine,” she said in a terrible, growling voice. “If you don’t feel like laughing, I guess I will.”

It started as a chortle in the back of her throat.  She took a step forward, and the laughter grew into a few mild guffaws.  Then she slammed her hooves down on a man’s skull, crushing it like an overripe grapefruit, and the laughter exploded from her chest, booming off the treetops and scattering the remaining soldiers.  She began to hunt them, slicing them down as quickly as she possibly could.  There was no predator-prey dynamic.  There was no splitting them up, tactically dividing and conquering.  This was just butchery: sheer madness done out of love for the feel of fresh blood on one’s body.  There was nowhere to run.  There was nowhere to hide.  Within minutes, twenty men laid dead on the ground, their bodies trampled, burned, and blasted into smithereens.  A minute later, it was fifty.  And still, the laughter continued, reaching a maniacal pitch as she sliced a red path through the enemy’s ranks.  She chortled as she ripped them limb-from-limb, giggled at the sight of terror frozen forever in the bodies’ eyes, and let out a deep belly-laugh as a few gathered together with some branches as weapons, attempting to make a pathetic last stand before she sliced them down with a single, energized swipe of her hoof.


Suddenly, a gray streak appeared from the sky, slamming her into the ground so hard that it created a small crater of its own.  Her eyes ignited with pure rage at the sight of the man in the gray trench coat with his hand around her throat.  Snarling, the creature that used to be the Princess of Day struggled in Mars’ grasp, only to stop when his free hand gripped her horn.  The air hummed with power as bolts danced around the point where he made contact, and slowly, Celestia’s struggles grew weaker and weaker.  Eventually, the darkness left her eyes entirely, and she collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily around Mars’ hand.  He sighed and closed his eyes, sucking in a breath before opening them again.  They were pitch-black.

Celestia struggled as the hand around her throat clenched tighter, her eyes widening in horror as Mars released her horn to stroke her mane.  “When I find your sister,” he whispered.  “I am going to fuck every hole on her body until I have filled each with my seed, and when I run out of those…”

He leaned in close to whisper right into her ear: “…I’ll make more.”  He grinned ear to ear as he raised a fist over her trembling form, letting her watch as it transformed into one long, silvery spike.  “I just wanted you to know that before I killed you.”

Without warning, a crack sounded throughout the forest, and the spike snapped in half with a flash of energy.  Mars screamed in rage as Luna swooped out of the sky, her horn blasting magical bolts.  Dodging effortlessly, the man in the gray trench coat scooped up an assault rifle from one of his fallen comrades and drew a bead on the Princess of Night, only to have the weapon smacked out of his hand by a lightning-quick judo chop from Swarm, now in his business suit.  Mars backed away, producing a small, grey ball from the folds of his uniform.  Swarm’s eyes widened immediately, and he backed off.

“Oh, you recognize this?”  Mars said mockingly.

“I can read the energy signatures off it,” Swarm replied, holding a hand in front of Luna to halt her advance.  “And still, I can’t believe even you would be insane enough to use it.”

“Ah, but can you risk it?”  The grin widened.  “Are you willing to gamble that I won’t drop this?”

“Swarm, what is that?”  Celestia asked, now recovered and back on her hooves.

“It’s a ball of anti-matter, Princess.”  Swarm grimaced.

“Absolutely right, Daddy dearest!  You should be proud: it took me quite a bit of processing power and time to create a ball this size.  Now, the million-dollar question: what happens if I drop it?”

Still glowering, Swarm replied: “If anti-matter comes into contact with normal matter, the result is a massive burst of energy in which both particles are destroyed.”

“Give the man a cigar!”  Mars laughed as he spun the ball on the tip of one finger, allowing everyone to see just how dangerously close to his fingertip it was, their breath caught in their throats.  “By my calculations, the explosion produced by this ball making contact with the ground would crack this planet in half, burning its surface a few dozen times over and annihilating all multicellular life upon it.”

“You wouldn’t!”  Celestia gasped.  “Even you must know that would be suicide!”

“In a way, yes,” Mars replied with actual regret in his voice.  “But, being just an offshoot, my other incarnations would live on to carry out my work, and so it would be a perfectly acceptable sacrifice.”  

With that, he raised the ball over his head, preparing to spike it into the dirt.  Swarm dove, hoping to somehow beat Mars’ superhuman speed, but it was obvious that it wouldn’t be enough.  Celestia dove as well, her wings stretching out to block her sister, as if her body would be enough to shield Luna from the nuclear holocaust to come.  Suddenly, an inch from the ground, a shot rang out. A bullet skimmed right across the top of Mars’ hand, sheering the skin and forcing his fingers to turn over.  Not by much, but enough to give Swarm the extra nanosecond he needed to snatch the ball away, immediately sailing off into the night with it safely tucked under his arm.  Mars screamed in rage as yet another bullet impacted his jaw, sending him reeling.  The Princesses turned to face their savior: a man in a leather jacket with jet-black hair and a .38 Peacemaker revolver blasting away in his hand.

Seething with rage, Mars raised a shield made of pure, shimmering energy against the shots, scooping up a stone with one hand.  “You think this is over!?”  He bellowed.  “You’ve yet to even deal with the second wave!”  He let the stone loose, whipping it over his shoulder and sending it sailing into the night, glowing with eerie red sparks.  As the trio watched in horror, it struck the man in the business suit right in the back, sending him spiraling to the ground as his hold over the little silvery ball wavered.  The man in the leather jacket took off after the man in the business suit, eyes locked on the silvery glint in his brother’s hand.  Immediately, the Princesses rushed Mars, hoping to pin him, but he threw them away with a casual wave of his hand.  

“See you soon, ladies,” Mars grinned as he blasted off into the night, accompanied by a supersonic boom.  The Princesses regained their footing just as the brothers returned.

“Should we go after him?”  Celestia asked, frowning at the stars their enemy had just vanished into.

“You’d never catch him,” Chen replied, joining her stoic gaze on the night sky.  “And even if you could, I wouldn’t recommend it.  We need to gauge the situation in-town and set-up perimeter defenses.”

“You can’t be serious!”  The man in the leather jacket gasped.  “That…THING is using the face of someone we love to intimidate us!  We can’t let him get away with that shit!”

The Princesses eyed each other warily.  Chen put his arm around his brother’s shoulder, a regretful look in his eyes.  “Michael,” he said.  “That thing wasn’t just using Mars’ face.  It was really him, in the flesh.”

The man in the leather jacket’s eyes widened.  “No,” he said.  “No, that can’t be.”

“It is, Michael,” Celestia said, touching her hoof to his other shoulder.  “I know this must hurt to hear, but that was the being you know as Mars.”

“It…no,” Michael shook his head, pulling away from his comrades’ embrace.  “No, there has to be some mistake, you’re wrong!”

“Michael…”

“It can’t be!”  He bellowed, tears gathering in his eyes.

“I was close to him: he was practically in my face when he first assaulted me,” Chen said, barely able to disguise the lump growing in his throat.  “I ran every scan I could, brother.  I’m sorry.”

“No, there was some mistake,” Michael just kept shaking his head.  “I…I raised him from a boy, for God’s sake!  It isn’t him!  It can’t be!”

“Michael,” Chen embraced his brother, who stood there limply as the hug wrapped around his shoulders.  “I am so very, very sorry.  I know how difficult this must be for you.”

The man in the leather jacket stood there, dumbfounded.  The Princesses watched, concern in their eyes, until his gaze darkened.  “If what you’re saying is true…”

“It is, brother, it is.”

“Then there’s no time to waste,” he shoved Chen aside and gazed up at the stars.  “Mars will be gathering his energy right now to open the portal his troops need to pour through.  Odds are, he’s already figured out Nasreen’s misdirection protocols, so he’ll be ready to counter them.  Now, he’s a stubborn sumbitch: he’ll wanna face us directly…”

“Which means our plan is still good,” Luna said.  “The enemy will still launch his attack right at Coltton…”

“Which means the good people of Coltton best prepare,” he continued, eyeing the small village in the distance.  Somewhere far off, high in the mountains surrounding the forest, he could see massive storm clouds gathering.  He grimaced.  “The worst is far from over.”

Chapter XXXI: Explanations

Although they were perfectly capable of flight, the brothers chose to ride the Princesses’ backs.  “Staying together will decrease the chances of somebody lagging behind again,” Chen had explained, and everyone had accepted this.  In reality, of course, he really wanted a bit of time with Celestia.  They had a lot to discuss.  

“Princess, let me apologize for the late response in coming to your aid,” he started almost as soon as her hooves left the ground.  “Mars’ power is such that he is able to block our ability to scan for power signatures from a distance, including yours.  It took time to even find you.”

“The fault is mine, Mr. Li.  I shouldn’t have left in such a hurry, even with one of our own in danger.  Mars had a trap ready and waiting for us, and if…” she sniffled ever so slightly, but suppressed it with that calm every Princess developed over years of diplomatic meetings and state dinners.  “…If it wasn’t for Discord’s actions, I would be dead right now.”

“Truly, he was a noble beast in the end.”

“He always was,” she said coldly.  “We were just fooled by that persona he projected, too stubborn to see the hero lying just underneath.”

“Princess,” Chen rested a hand on her shoulder in concern.  “It is starting to sound like you blame yourself for Discord’s death.”

“And who would you blame, Swarm dearest?”

“Mars,” he said flatly.  “But this is not the biggest concern on my mind.”

“I figured it wasn’t,” she sighed.


“Princess, I saw the bodies of those men.  They had hoofmarks on them, and some had burn-marks identical to those solar bursts only your horn is capable of producing.”

“Nothing escapes your gaze, does it?”

“Some things do,” he replied.  “Mars did.  This didn’t.  Do you feel like explaining why there are a pile of bodies back there with your name written all over them?”

After a bit of debating with herself, she whispered: “What I am about to tell you can never be repeated again.  Only Luna is aware of this, and only because it was absolutely necessary that she be warned.”

“Warned about what?”

“About the monster she was harboring, the one all Alicorns must learn to deal with, the one that manifested itself in her consciousness all those millennia ago.  Thankfully, she was able to keep it somewhat controlled, allowing it to manifest as a power-hungry tyrant, rather than a creature like the sort responsible for those bodies back there.”  Celestia’s gaze drifted up to the moon, allowing it to shine in her eyes.  Swarm gave her time: he was her captive audience.  “Inside every Alicorn is a self-defense mechanism, one born during the chaotic years of early Equestria to keep our tiny numbers from disappearing entirely.  It’s the reason there aren’t many tales of encounters with Alicorns in pony lore.  Back then, it was an asset.  Now, unfortunately, it can appear at any point during combat, turning an Alicorn into a rage-fueled beast with hardly any memory of friend or foe, just barely capable of the rational thought needed to kill.  It is a separate personality, filled with hate and a need for destruction, lying dormant until such a time when an Alicorn feels endangered.”

Swarm’s eyes widened, hardly able to believe his ears.  “You’ve kept this a secret all this time!?”

Celestia nodded.

“And only Luna knows!?”

“Our parents informed us of this terrible power upon our reaching adulthood, when this…’monster within’ first begins to take shape in all of us.”

“But there are so many legends about you being in combat without going on some sort of rampage,” Swarm started counting the tales off on his fingers.  “Your first battle with Nightmare Moon, you and your sister’s desperate fight to depose Discord, those Pegasi insurrections right after Canterlot’s founding…”

“The Elements of Harmony are not called as such just because they require a spirit filled with the six elements behind peace and joy to activate them,” she explained.  “Once activated, they also increase the strength of those elements within the user’s mind.  Kindness to stay her hoof, laughter to keep the darkness within at bay, generosity to prevent her from seeking new Empires to build (as with Nightmare Moon), honesty with herself so she can tell when she has gone too far, loyalty to her subjects’ best interests, and of course, a bit of magic to keep the Dark One asleep.”

He sat there in stunned silence for a full three minutes before he asked: “The Dark One?”

“Do you have a better name for it?”  She asked, a sheepish grin on her face which faded almost as quickly as it appeared.  “This is why I have not raised a hoof in combat since the Elements of Harmony chose their new users.  Perhaps an errant magical bolt in surprise, yes, but never full-on combat: for the longer a fight goes on, the more likely it is that the Dark One will manifest.”

“But you and Luna both fought today!  You were right next to me in the void!”

“Only because I knew you would be there, and that you were powerful enough to…put a stop to us if things got out of hoof.”

“My God, Princess…”

“If anypony knew,” she sighed.  “Well, they might start to wonder if Alicorns are even worth the risk.  They might start debating with themselves if, perhaps, our kind should be wiped out entirely, just to be safe.”

“They might, or they might take the lessons you’ve taught them over the millennia and show mercy, maybe even take your past examples of righteousness and love as a judge of your amazing character and your obvious qualifications for being their ruler.”

Celestia’s face turned bright red.  At the same time, her wings froze for a second, throbbing with ecstasy in an attempt to straighten out.  The pair plunged a few feet out of the sky.  “Woah!”  Swarm gasped, wrapping his arms around her neck to keep his balance.  “Princess, what was that about?”

“Nothing!  Nothing at all!”  She gasped, her entire face and neck turning bright red as she flapped to keep them aloft.  “So, not to change the subject or anything, but I need to ask you about your brother.”

“Ah, go right ahead.”

“His reaction to his learning about our assailant’s identity was…interesting, to say the very least.”

“You’re wondering why he said he’d raised Mars from a child?”

“Indeed.”

“Princess, you’ve entrusted me with one of your great secrets, now I will entrust you with one of ours.”  Swarm sighed.  “It’s because he was.  Mars is our son, he has called each of us ‘father’ at some point or another, myself included.  But the title really applies best to Michael.”

“Why is that?”

“Michael was the one who took Mars in when we first discovered him,” Chen continued, his heart warming with the memory.  “Michael gave him a roof over his head, taught him his first few lessons in science and ethics, was there when Mars had a bad dream, and taught him the things only a father can teach a son.  We all had our parts to play in Mars’ growth, but we were more like his aunts and uncles.  Michael was the one truly deserving of the title ‘Father’.”

“I see,” Celestia looked over her shoulder to her sister, still sailing along with a stone-faced man in a leather jacket on her back.  “He doesn’t seem like a man who’s just lost a son.”

. “Out of all of us, Michael has always been the worst at expressing his true emotions.  I think he just wants to be the rough-and-tough cowboy like in all those horrible Western films of his, and he wants it so badly that he just buries anything which threatens that image.”

“That’s not a very healthy way to go about life.”

“Well, you try telling him that,” Chen snorted.  “I believe he is grieving, but not in a way any of us can see.”




Just a few yards behind her sister, Luna glided along, flapping her wings occasionally to remain on the air currents.  She wished she had chosen Chen to ride with: her sister seemed to be chatting rather amicably with her passenger.  All the man in the leather jacket had done was sit there, asking her to ensure that Celestia wasn’t watching them.  

“Princess?”  The man asked, derailing her train of thought.  “Is your sister still looking at us?”

“Not that I can see, Mr. Sawyer.”

“And she told you my name too,” he said lightly.  “That’s good; you’re all caught up then.”

“Indeed I am,” the Princess of Night replied.  She waited a few moments before asking: “Mr. Sawyer?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you so interested in knowing whether or not Celestia is looking at us?”

“Oh,” he replied, catching a few silver tears in the palm of his hand and throwing them over his shoulder while suppressing the urge to clench Luna’s back and sob his heart out.  “No reason, Princess. No reason at all.”

Chapter XXXII: Sibling Reunion

“Now, you’re sure you’re absolutely alright?”

“Of course I am, Twilight!”  Shining Armor rolled his eyes and shifted in his cot.  “Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m in triage.  I’m fine!”

“90% of the skin on your back was burnt off, Shining,” Ramirez replied, smiling down at his friend.  Behind his head, the canvas of the massive tent serving as the triage center rustled with a gentle night breeze.  “The only reason you’re still alive is because of that ‘Swarm’ character, and we’re not even sure how in the hell he did it.”

“But I’m fine now!  I mean, just look around,” Shining sat up in his cot and motioned to the numerous cots around them.  On the cot just to his right, a SEAL slept with a blood-covered gauze bandage wrapped around his arm while a nurse switched out his blood pack.  To his left, a small filly rested in her parents’ arms while a vet looked over a massive burn on her flank, an IV packed with painkillers flowing into her stomach.  “There are tons of humans AND ponies that need way more help than me!  All I’m doing now is taking up a cot!  I should be out there; helping you guys hunt down the last of these jerks so we can…”

“Shining, sweetheart, just stay here for me, alright?”  Cadence pulled him in close.  “I’ve watched you die once tonight, and that is more than enough for me.”

“Oh, shoot,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting.  She continued to snuggle with him, completely oblivious to the barely-ordered chaos surrounding them: the cries of nurses for more antibiotic or more plasma as another group kept a steady stream of cots flowing into the surgery tent, set up just across the square.

“Y’know what?  I got an idea,” Ramirez said.  Standing up, the SEAL managed to grab the attention of a nurse rushing by with a clipboard in one hand and a bag of plasma in the other.  “Excuse me, but could I grab you for a minute?”

“Ehh,” the nurse checked his watch and scanned around for his patients, but begrudgingly agreed.  “You’ve got thirty seconds.”

“Y’see, my friend here,” Ramirez motioned to Shining, “Was in a…set of strange circumstances.  He’s supposed to remain under observation, but he’d really like to…”

“Nobody under observation is allowed to leave their bed until they’ve been cleared by an on-duty Medical Technician,” the nurse drawled.  “That is standard triage procedure, soldier, and we have found no cause to alter that rule for ponies.”

“Yeah, I know the damn rules, but my friend…uh…” Ramirez leaned in close to whisper: “An hour ago, my friend had all the skin on his back burnt off and a few pieces of shrapnel embedded in his chest.”

The nurse’s eyes widened.  “My God, where’s your friend!?”  Ramirez simply pointed over to Shining, who removed a hoof from Cadence’s side just long enough to wave back at the nurse, whose jaw dropped in turn.  “Oh my shit, it was the Major, wasn’t it?”

Ramirez cocked an eyebrow.  “Now, how didja…”

“We’ve been briefed on some of the Major’s actions before,” the nurse replied, still watching Shining in stunned silence.  “I…I thought they were just stories or rumors.  It sounded like magic or something.”

“Before?  You mean this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this!?”

The nurse could only shake his head in reply.

“Well then, you of all people should know just how well-off my friend is now!  So if you could just give him something to do around here – he feels so useless sitting in a cot!”

“I still don’t know,” the nurse scratched his chin.  “Wartime triage procedures are VERY clear when it comes to patients under observation.”

“Oh, please, sir!”  Shining gasped, throwing his blanket off and kneeling at the nurse’s feet, Cadence’s arms still wrapped around his body and Twilight right on his hooves.  He summoned his best “sad puppy” face to beg: “I’m in tip-top shape, really!”

“Now hold on,” Cadence released his neck to face him.  “Shining, I already told you that I can’t worry about you anymore than I already have!  Can’t we just…”

“Cady dearest,” he took one of her hooves in his.  “You know I love you more than life itself, but you must also know I have to do this.  As a member of the Royal Guard, I need to be there for everypony who needs me, and these ponies…” he motioned to the wide array of cots spread out before them just as another cot carrying a pony writhing in pain for a broken leg was carried in, “…these ponies really need me.  They need somepony they can trust to tell them it’s all gonna be okay, and as a Royal Guard, that’s me.”

“I…honestly can’t see a hole in that logic, as much as I hate to admit it.”  Twilight sighed.

“Shineeyyy…” Cadence moaned.

“Listen,” he continued.  “I’m gonna stick around the tent.  I promise I won’t stray too far, so if something does happen to me, I’ll be right where I need to be, surrounded by the best doctors the humans have to offer.”

“Y’know what?”  The nurse finally said.  “That’s convinced me.  Hell, we could use a few extra hands…uh…hooves around here.  So tell y’what: if Ms. Cady gives us her ‘OK,’ I’ll let you do a few non-strenuous chores around here.”

Shining immediately turned his puppy-dog gaze towards his wife, clasping his hooves together under his chin and whimpering ever so slightly, his lower lip quivering.  The Alicorn rolled her eyes and relented almost immediately: “Alright, but nothing too bad.  And you better let me know if you start feeling off!”

“Love you darling,” he said, giving her a quick peck on the lips before rushing to the nurse’s side.

“And on the condition that I come with you!”  Cadence quickly added as she rushed to be near him.  

“Alright, with that settled, we need…” the nurse led the ponies off, leaving Ramirez and Twilight behind as Uris came jogging up to them, dodging IV stands and EKG machines.  

“Sorry to break up the reunion,” he panted sheepishly.  “But my fa… the Captain needs to see you immediately, Ms. Sparkle.”

“I…um…alright,” she sighed, casting one last look over her shoulder at her brother before trudging along towards the tent’s exit.  “I guess seeing him is the least I can do after the way I’ve acted.”

“Think nothing of it, Ms. Sparkle,” Uris chimed before turning to Ramirez.  The men sized each other up.  Though Uris was considered a second-line trooper and had nowhere near the training or experience the SEAL had, he figured he worked out enough to pose something of a challenge. They stared one another down, eyes narrowing, arms crossed.  “You’re the one who pulled that awesome shit on the rooftops earlier, arentcha?”  The pilot asked the SEAL.

“Yeah, that was me,” Ramirez shrugged.  “What about you?  I’ve been hearing some crazy stories about a chopper pilot who managed to wipe out an enemy squad with a pistol.”

“I had some help,” Uris replied, shrugging in Twilight’s direction.  

Ramirez looked over his shoulder at the little violet unicorn, then back at Uris, and grinned.  “Yeah, so did I.”

“Probably not as much as me,” Uris grinned back as the men strode towards the tent’s exit, right behind Twilight.  “Seriously though: this officer had a pistol right up to my skull, and that unicorn, right over there,” he pointed towards her, “pulled some teleportation shit at literally the last second!  Barely had time to get my bearings before…”

“Oh yeah?”  Ramirez said, holding the tent flap open for the pilot.  “Well, her brother kicked my ass!”

Uris’s jaw dropped as he raised his hand.  “You win, dude.  You’re the guy who fought a unicorn.”

“Damn straight,” Ramirez laughed, and the men clapped one another on the back as they followed Twilight to the Commander’s office, setup in a small general store just off the square.

Chapter XXXIII: Rock Drill

“Scouts say we’ve got multiple drop zones poppin’ up here, here, and here,” Parker said, placing a few rocks on the ground.  Behind him, a small model of Coltton built out of paper cups, canteens, and rocks stretched out across the floor, with streets lined with pebbles and twigs demarking the city’s border.  “We know they aren’t ours, so it’s probably safe to assume they’re enemy.”

“Well, at least we have time until they actually land,” Vance grumbled, frowning at the map unfolded on the countertop before him.  

“Actually sir,” Parker sighed.  “The scouts are saying these zones are opening up almost right on the ground: they can just hop out.”

“What!?”  Miller gasped, stepping away from the shelf of hayseed he’d been leaning against.  “When in the hell did they learn to do that!?  I thought the whole point of opening a portal high over the ground was so it didn’t phase people into trees or something!”

“That IS the point,” Vance’s frown deepened.  “Apparently, the enemy has discovered a way to open up a portal with enough accuracy where that isn’t a worry.  This is…concerning, to say the least.”

“Maybe a third party’s joined the war?”  Parker added.  “Somebody who CAN open up portals with that kind of accuracy?”

Miller and Vance eyed each other with concern.  “That’s an even scarier thought,” the SEAL commander mumbled.  “Another faction with that kind of power could definitely tip the scales in their favor.”

“That’s not our concern right now, gentlemen,” Vance barked.  “We can let the politicians and the intelligence boys hash that shit out when we get home.  Right now, we could be looking at an entire brigade of enemy dropping in on our heads, and we’d never know it until they were knocking on our doors!”

A few short raps on the front door interrupted the Captain, and all eyes immediately turned to it.  With hardly a thought, Parker’s hand went to the pistol in his holster, but Vance knocked it away the moment the door creaked open and Uris poked his head in.  “I’m really sorry, sirs,” he said.  “But I’ve rounded up the Elements of Harmony, as requested.”

“Good show, son,” Vance replied, shooting a dirty look at Parker.  “Go ahead and let them in.”

“Yes, sir,” Uris nodded and opened the door, herding all six ponies into the store, except for Fluttershy, who was intent on clinging to the pilot’s leg.  After some coaxing on Rarity’s part, she too joined her friends at Vance’s feet, shooting uncertain glances over her shoulder back at her human friend.  ‘It’s alright,’ he mouthed to her, before carefully shutting the door behind her, making extra sure not to slam it.

The six ponies all gazed up at the human commanders for a short time.  Growing impatient, Rainbow Dash flapped her way onto the countertop and stuck a carrot stick from behind the fridge in her teeth, holding it their like a cigar as she smeared a bit of grime from the poorly-oiled cash register under her eyes.

“So,” she said, shifting the carrot in her teeth.  “What didja need?”

“What we need,” Parker replied, slipping the carrot out from between her teeth and taking a quick nibble off one end.  “Is every single advantage we can get.”

“We have reason to believe The Ridchir is planning a counterattack, with a heavy focus on retaking this village,” Vance said.  

“Based on the number and size of the portals we’re detecting nearby, we could be looking at upwards of two-thousand enemy tangoes, with God-only-knows how many and what type of support assets.”  Miller added.

“What do you need from us?”  Twilight asked while Rainbow pouted over her sudden loss of awesomeness.

“Our intelligence says you six are the best defense Equestria has to offer,” Vance said.  “Though reports are somewhat vague, they made reference to some sort of title: the…uh…’Elements of Harmony’?”

“Oh, that isn’t just a title,” Twilight explained.  “They also refer to the powers granted to us by six mystical jewels as the physical representatives of the six traits behind all harmony and friendship everywhere.”

“I think we can take the explanation from here, egghead,” Rainbow Dash grinned, backflipping off the countertop and sticking her hoof out.  “Because big adventure with the ponies you love can only work out with LOYALTY!”

“And to appreciate tons of fun with friends, you need LAUGHTER!”  Pinkie screamed, trailing confetti as she rushed to stick her hoof out next to Dash’s.

“And with a beautiful heart to keep everyone on the side of good, there comes GENEROSITY!”  Rarity sang, pirouetting into position next to Pinkie and Dash and daintily sticking her hoof in next to theirs.

“But don’t ferget, y’all need t’be faithful an’ strong, which comes easy with HONESTY in the group!”  Applejack replied, oozing strength as she strode into the circle with her chest puffed out and added her hoof to the mix.

“Well, sharing KINDNESS certainly has its part to play, I-I think, maybe…” Fluttershy said quietly, eventually forcing Rainbow Dash to grab her and thrust her hoof into the circle.  Her head spinning with the suddenness of Dash’s motions, it took her a second to realize she had joined in.  Dash winked at her.  “Yay,” she whispered, smiling.

“With all those traits, staying true friends is an easy feat, but it’s up to MAGIC to make it all complete!”  Twilight sang, teleporting into the remaining spot on the circle and sticking her hoof in.  “And once you’ve learned all that, you realize…”

“…That Friendship is Magic!”  The Elements all sang together, giggling in near-perfect unison.

The humans stared.  Miller’s eyes glazed over.  “That was really fuckin’ adorable.  I think I’m gonna puke.”  Parker sighed, bringing the ponies back to reality.

“Yes, well, you’re the one who approached us for help,” Twilight said, blushing just a little bit and glaring at the humans.

“That we did,” Vance said.  “You mentioned these jewels gave you powers.  Can you just whip ‘em out now, or…”

“Well,” Twilight said.  “It’s not…exactly…as easy as all that, you know?”

“For one thing, the Elements are kept in a high-security vault way back in Canterlot, which is rather far away: a three-day trot, at least!”  Rarity said.

“Plus, the consarned things have a tendency t’up an’ disappear from time to time,” Applejack added.  “An’ with all the portals and whatnot poppin’ up aroun’ here, odds are they’ve pulled one a’ their disappearin’ stunts already.”

“And without these jewels, you can’t access any of your powers,” Parker moaned, leaning against the countertop.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Twilight said, her horn sparkling.  “Rarity and I still have our unicorn magic!”

“Although Twilight is a hundred times the magician I’ll ever be,” Rarity admitted.  

“Oh, Rarity, don’t be so hard on yourself!”

“Dahling, it’s the truth.  I’m afraid my talents reside entirely within the fashion industry.  My magic is mediocre at best!”

“But I’ve still got my super speed!”  Rainbow Dash said, revving herself up in a few laps around the room at supersonic speed, forcing the humans to grab their battle plans to keep them from being swept up.

“And I have my party cannon!”  Pinkie shrieked, whipping the now all-too-familiar artillery piece out from behind a shelf and spraying the room with streamers and confetti just as the humans managed to straighten out their papers.

“And I still got m’incredible buckin’ strength!”  AJ sang.

“Wha-what didja just say!?”  Miller gasped, scanning the room for children who might need their ears covered.  Rolling her eyes, the orange earth pony promptly bucked the small stack of apples by the door, rapid-firing them over the countertop and into a set of bottles lined up along the rear wall.

“Oh…bucking…” Miller sighed, relaxing.

“And-and…” Fluttershy started, only to freeze up the moment every eye in the room turned on her.  “Eep!  I-I know how to take care of animals, if that’s something you needed, if it wasn’t too much bother…”

“Right,” Vance sighed.  “Look, girls, that’s all well and good, but we were hoping you’d have some kind of magical death cannon for us!  Something that could give us an edge over the enemy and this…new…powerful ally we think they might have!”

“How about a powerful ally of your own?”  A voice sang.  Everyone in the room turned to the door, where Princess Celestia and her sister stood, framed by the moonlight pouring in through the windows.

Chapter XXXIV: The Eve of Battle

Mars waited.  If anything, that was his special talent: waiting.  His cutie mark would probably be a caricature of himself, sitting, waiting, building himself up and biding his time for the right moment to strike.  He didn’t know how a little symbol on his ass would express all that, but it would certainly look incredible.  It was this undying patience that allowed him to make so many allies, and to develop the network for them to move about the multiverse undetected by his own father.  Alone, that last feat was worthy of a God, but his master stroke was The Plan.  The Plan that would see his father brought to his greatest low before being utterly destroyed.  The Plan that would see Mars rise to his rightful place as the god of all creation, and ultimately begin the reign of an empire that would encompass universes.  And it would all start here: the first world to be conquered by forces from an entirely different universe.  There had been raids, yes: air strikes and terrorist attacks aimed at spreading fear and discontent throughout reality, but this time his forces were not on a simple raid.  This time, they would be conquerors!  And once an entire ‘world of light’ (as his father called them) had been subjugated, well, when you combined that with the other attacks, you got quite a dark wave of emotional energy rippling through the multiverse, corrupting everything it touched.  He grinned at that thought.  He would need to inform his enemies of this somehow: when their children woke up screaming in their beds from nightmares of burnt landscapes in place of flowing meadows where the beautiful creatures of their imaginations were tormented and enslaved, he wanted them to know it was because of him, and because they had dared to stand against him.

Feeling his strength return, he opened his eyes and breathed.  It didn’t matter that he hovered in the heart of a vacuum a few thousand miles away from any sort of atmosphere thick enough to be deemed ‘breathable.’  The breath was more a relaxation technique than a life-supporting function for one such as him.

The entire planet of Equestria laid before him.  Here, he could see purple, snow-capped mountains.  There, the great pink forests that stretched from horizon to horizon, teeming with life.  And still, there were the crystalline blue oceans, blanketing over half the planet with the same purity they had owned for eons.  It was pathetic.  The ponies of Equestria had ruled this planet for millions of years as unquestionably as the humans of the multiverse had theirs and they had yet to even begin utilizing their planet’s vast resources!  Even the pitiful little mongrel races of the human worlds arrayed against him had managed to expend their planets’ resources to the best of their knowledge, but here entire forests still lay untouched, the mountains still towering high over the land, unmarked except by a few basic mines built by some simpler species.  What were they called again?  Ah, yes, Diamond Dogs.  He would have to keep them in mind.  They would make perfect slaves for his allies in the years to come.

He reached his hand out, cupping it below his face at just the right angle to make it appear as though the entire planet rested in the palm of his hand.  The familiar sensation of power filled his chest, his breath catching as if the sheer emotion he felt was crowding out his lungs.  A look of ecstasy spread across his face.  His old man was a fool for refusing something like this.  To rule, to conquer, could there be a better experience in all the many worlds?  If there was, he’d yet to find it.  

He breathed again, and this time he angled himself towards the planet, pushing off the barely-existent atmosphere and blasting back to the surface.  For nostalgia’s sake, he shoved a fist out in front as he descended, just like Superman.  He loved that pose.  For such a goody two-shoes, the guy had absolutely known how to make himself look like a badass.

He slammed back into the Everfree Forest with enough force to send shockwaves rippling into the distance.  Trees bent and splintered away, earth was carried off to make room for him, even grass that had grown for decades without so much as a brushfire was vaporized in an instant.  Power, he grinned again.  Before the dust even settled, he had summoned the now all-too-familiar green glow of the inter-universal portal.  It stabilized within minutes: he was getting better at opening them.  The instant the portal was the size of a man, one in the dark-gray uniform of The Ridchir stepped through, flanked by guards carrying assault rifles and grenades.  

“{Lieutenant Fischer, reporting for duty, sir!}”  The leader barked, and all three men saluted.

“{At ease!}”  Mars replied, and the men obeyed.  Shit, he loved that!  “{Where in the hell are the rest of ya?}”

“{Sir!  Reinforcements are geared up and ready to join us the moment the portal has reached the size required for trucks and heavy equipment, sir!}”

“{The moment?}”  Mars asked, cocking an eyebrow.  “{Are you sure about that, Lieutenant?}”

“{S-sir?}”  The man started to sweat.

“{I’m just wondering: would you be willing to bet your life on it?}”

“{I…>” the Lieutenant sighed. “<No sir, I am rather certain, but not certain enough to bet my life.}”

“{Hmm, a shame,}” suddenly, Mars’ arm whipped out and caught the side of the man’s head.  Spinning around, he bought the skull in his hand down into the earth with a sickening, wet crack, blanketing the dirt in red.  

“{I have no use whatsoever for cowards,}” Mars mumbled, wiping the blood off his hands before levelling a finger at one of the remaining guards.  “{You!  Whatsyername!?}”

“{St-Stevens, sir!  Corporal Stevens!}”  The guard cried, barely able to keep from wetting himself at the sight of his own commander’s blood drying in the bare dirt.

“{Well congrats, Private, you just made Lieutenant!}”

“{Th-thank you, sir!}” There wasn’t an ounce of gratitude in the new Lieutenant’s voice, but Mars let that slide.

“{Now, would you be willing to bet your life on a big-ass truck rushing through that portal the moment it’s big enough to accommodate one?}”

“{O-of course, sir!  Abs-absolutely!  No doubt in my mind at all!}”  Stevens was shaking so hard Mars could hear the rattle of something loose in the man’s weapon.

“Hmph,” without a word, Mars reached over and grabbed the new Lieutenant’s rifle.  The moment his hand made contact, he could feel the human’s heart skip a beat.  Suppressing a grin, he snatched the rifle away and fiddled with the firing mechanism.  “{Here,}” he tossed the weapon back.  “{Keep that well-oiled, and it’ll serve you well.}”

“{Y-yes, sir, thank you,}” Stevens mumbled as the portal suddenly expanded behind him.  He whirled around, staring at it intently as the seconds ticked by.  Three seconds went by with nothing. Then four.  Five…

To his incredible relief, the grill of a truck appeared and rumbled through, its engine revving as it trundled along between the two.  Mars glared at the human.  “{5.714 seconds,}” he said.  “{And a moment is defined as seven…}”

Stevens gulped; his hands trembled again, although his rifle didn’t rattle this time.

“{Sloppy work, Stevens; can’t say I’m impressed.  But you’re new, so I’ll let this slide.}”

The human sighed with utter relief.  “{Thank you, sir.}”

“{Don’t let sloppy work slip by again.}”

“{I-I won’t sir,}” the Lieutenant moved to rejoin the rest of his men.  “{Th-thank you, s-sir.}”

Within minutes, the small clearing Mars had blasted into existence was packed with men, trucks, a full collection of artillery pieces, and even a few tanks.  This was it.  No more raids.  No more hiding and popping out at each other in hit-and-run attacks.  Now, there would be war.   He grinned with the prospect and climbed into a truck as it wheeled by.  “{SIR!?}”  The driver asked in surprise.

“{Take me to the rally point, I shall want to speak to my men there,}” Mars said plainly.

“{Y-yes, sir, right away, sir!}"  The man replied, his hands clenching the steering wheel until the knuckles turned white.  He never even noticed Mars smiling in the seat next to him, grinning as they approached the city.




“Princess!”  Twilight galloped into the hooves of her friend and mentor.  “Oh thank goodness, you’re alright!”

“I could say the same to you, my faithful student,” Celestia smiled, embracing the little violet unicorn.

“Oh!”  Twilight turned in the Princess’s hooves, realizing that this might be the first time her mentor had seen humans!  She would need to act calmly and carefully, they couldn’t have the Princess panicking now.  “Now, Princess, I know these guys may look weird, and some of them look like the things that are attacking us, but please rest assured that…”

“Hello again, Captain Vance,” Celestia smiled.  “You may rise.”

Twilight turned in shock at the three humans gathered around the counter, who were all kneeling like ponies about to be knighted.  “Thanks, your majesty,” Vance said as he stood.  “And might I add that it’s good to see you again.”

“And you, Captain, though I wish it could be under better circumstances.”

“Um…sister…perhaps you could…” Luna started, motioning towards Vance and giving her a questioning look.

“Ah yes, forgive me sister: it has been a rather long day,” Celestia gestured to the Captain.  “Luna, this is Captain Vance with the Armed Forces of the United States of America.”

“A pleasure,” Luna said, extending her hoof.

“Charmed,” Vance replied, taking the hoof and kissing it gently.

“And this would be his cadre,” Celestia continued, smiling at the red entering her sister’s cheeks. “I believe the man on the left would be Lieutenant Miller, and the one on the right is Lieutenant Parker.”

“It is an honor, Princess,” Miller said, following Vance and kissing Luna’s hoof.

“Same,” Parker said awkwardly, his lips missing and kissing just a bit higher on the Princess’s leg.

“Well,” Twilight said, her eyebrows rising.  “It’s…nice that you know these humans, Princess.”

“Of course I do, dearest Twilight,” Celestia replied with a knowing smile.  “After all: do you honestly believe all these men could have landed without my prior knowledge?”

“Woah woah woah,” Rainbow Dash said, stepping away from her friends and glaring at the Princesses accusingly.  “You’re saying you knew all this was coming!?  How!?”

“In due time, Ms. Dash, and besides, my companions would be better suited to answer that question.”  With that, Celestia knocked on the hardwood floor with the edge of her hoof.  There was a slight breeze, a draft flowing through the room as if the building itself were sighing, then a gentle gust picked up a stack of papers from the countertop and floated away with it, leading everyone’s eyes to the two men standing by the coolers along the back wall.

“Commander!”  Parker gasped, and instantly all three men saluted.

“At ease,” the man in the leather jacket replied, stepping away from the cooler with his hands crossed behind his back.  The ponies recognized him from their Humvee ride together, but something was a bit…off.  He’s got some sort of darkness to him now, Twilight realized as this newcomer walked into the center of the room.  He had this aura about him: something she couldn’t quite place.  It was as if something was hardening his heart against the universe.  But what?

“Commander, I must say it’s an honor to see you again,” Vance said, smiling as he extended his hand.

“And you, Captain,” the man in the leather jacket replied, shaking the hand briefly.

If Twilight hadn’t been sidetracked, she might have noticed how fake the smile on this man’s face looked.  How utterly skin-deep it appeared.  As it was, she immediately perked up with a realization: “Wait a second, you were on the radio earlier!  You saved my brother!”

The man flashed his smile at her, and this time it was a smidgen more genuine.  “That would be me, Ms. Sparkle.  It’s nice to see you don’t need restraints anymore.”

“Well,” she blushed.  “I…wasn’t quite in a proper…wait a minute, you weren’t there!  How could you possibly know about that!?”

“Hold on, Twi,” Applejack said.  “Ah’m sure you’ve got a lotta questions fer this guy, but Ah think he’s got some important business to handle with us first.”

“Right you are, Ms. Applejack,” the man said, a confident smile rising on his face, though with less strength than it had during the ride they had all shared in the Humvee.  “And for the explanations, I think I’ll hand the spotlight over to my brother.”

“Leaving me with the dirty work, eh, Mikey?”  The other man said with a smile that turned into a grin with the sight of his brother’s annoyance at the old nickname.  All eyes shifted to him, most feeling embarrassed over having ignored this man until just now.  Not that he was totally invisible: the fact that he was a Chinese man in a business suit standing in the middle of a battlefield would have set him apart at just about any other time.  It’s just that he didn’t seem to command attention like his brother did, and by the reserved way he ambled into the center of the room and quietly leaned against a shelf, it was very possible that’s just the way he liked it.  “My name is Chen Li.  This is my brother, Michael.  You can refer to either of us as Swarm, for we have both adopted that title.  We have been in battle with the force now launching its assault into Equestria for quite a while, and we are here to help defend this village and halt the enemy’s advance once and for all.”

“That sums it up perfectly,” Michael said.  “Thanks, bro.”

“Wait a second,” Rainbow Dash raised a hoof.  “You’re sayin’ you’ve been fighting these guys all along, in the shadows?”

“I am.”

“Then what gives?  How come we haven’t even heard of you yet?”

“I only make myself visible when it is needed,” Chen replied nonchalantly.  “Now, it is needed.”

“Oh, real mysterious.  What are ya, some kind of super warrior badass?”

“He likes to project that, at least,” Michael said, smiling playfully.

“Well, if you’re so awesome, why haven’t you beat these guys yet?”

“Rainbow Dash!”  Twilight said, glaring at her friend.  “That’s no way to…”

Before she could even finish her sentence, Michael strode up to the little teal pegasus and knelt, glaring right into her eyes.  Dash glared right back, refusing to back up a single inch.  “We vastly underestimated how…resourceful the enemy was.  This is not a mistake we shall be making again.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really,” and this time, Swarm made sure the glare in his eye dared her to continue this conversation, dared her to just try and see what happened.  

Rainbow returned the glare, but eventually shrugged.  “Good enough for me.”

“Good,” as Michael stood up and returned to his brother’s side, Parker raised his hand.  

“Um, Commander?”  The Lieutenant asked.

“Yes?”

“You said the enemy was resourceful somehow: do you mean they were able to befriend somebody with those resources?  Like, better technology and stuff?”

The man in the leather jacket grinned.  “I knew there was a reason I chose you lot for this job,” he said, producing a file from his jacket and handing one to every being in the room (except his brother, of course).

“This is Mars,” Chen said as they all opened their files to find a picture of a dark-haired man in a gray trench-coat with a piercing gaze.  “He is calculating, efficient, incredibly intelligent, and possibly the most powerful being in the universe.”  Something wavered in his voice as he said: “Godlike, even.”

“This is how they can open up portals so well, right?”  Miller asked.  “This ‘Mars’ fella is openin’ them open for ‘em?”

“Precisely,” Chen continued.  “I have already faced Mars in battle, and…I’m ashamed to say I did not fare quite as well as I had hoped.”

Michael stared at his brother in shock, the full realization of Mars’ rebellion beginning to hit him.  Mars and his brother had fought, actually battled for dominance.  As Chen continued, he slowly backed away from the conversation, slinking into a corner.  

“So, if he can take on you lot,” Miller said behind him.  “How are we gonna stand a chance against him?”

“Because this time we have something we didn’t have in our first confrontation with him,” Chen said, smiling as he clamped a hand on the human’s shoulder and pretending not to notice his brother in the corner, his back turned to everyone else, “your courage, and the courage of your men.”

“Hold up,” Vance said, standing up.  “I am not going to use my men as meat shields just so you can get a decent shot at this one omnipotent asshole!”

“You insult me, Captain!  Do you honestly believe I would ever make such a heinous plan?  No, your men will handle the army backing Mars up.  If anything, we will be using ourselves to hold Mars at bay while you deplete his forces.”

“By ‘we,’” Twilight said.  “You mean…”

“Yes, my faithful student,” Celestia replied, trotting up to Twilight’s side. “He is referring to Luna and I.”

“Princess, no!”  Rainbow Dash gasped.

“I-it’s too dangerous!”  Fluttershy added.

“Equestria would be lost withoutcha!”  AJ said.

“Without you, the Canterlot courts would fall to pieces!”  Rarity said.

“Isn’t it about time we started wrapping all this exposition up?  The audience might get bored if we don’t get another cavalcade of explosions soon.”  Pinkie said.

Celestia raised a hoof for silence.  “This is not up for debate, my little ponies.  As a princess, I am the sworn protector of Equestria, forever bound to defend this land and its citizens from all threats, foreign or domestic.  Even if doing so places myself in mortal danger.”

“Wouldn’t it be so badass if our president did that?”  Parker whispered to Miller.  “Like, if he had a nuclear-powered robo-suit or some shit.”

The SEAL shushed him while stifling a laugh.

“My sister is right,” Luna said, her voice rising to its familiar, thundering baritone.  “WE WILL DEFEND THIS LAND WITH ALL OUR…”

“Sister, we’re indoors!”  Celestia groaned, cleaning out her ear with the tip of her hoof.

“Oh, right,” Luna smiled sheepishly before continuing at a much more suitable volume.  “We will defend this land with our dying breaths, but fear not: for we have absolutely no plans of dying today.”

“But how can you be so sure!?”  Twilight moaned.

“Because we have the Elements of Harmony on our side,” Celestia cooed, taking Twilight’s chin in her hoof.  “And the Elements have never failed Equestria before.”

“But we don’t have the Elements; they’re still locked up in Canterlot!”

“Not for long,” Celestia said, smiling as her horn flickered into action.  Her eyes glowed with pure magical power as the air around her buzzed with energy, forcing Twilight to back off.  “Um, sister?”  Celestia asked in a voice buzzing with the magical currents beneath the universe itself.

“Right, sorry,” Luna blushed before tapping her horn at the base of Celestia’s, igniting it immediately with a swirling blue blast of moon-fueled magic.  Her eyes glowed with power as the room trembled, forcing everyone in the room to back away to the furthest corner, huddled close together.  Eventually, six small gems shimmered into view at the Princesses’ feet.

“Oh holiest God, don’t tell me that’s…” Parker started.

“…The Elements of Harmony!”  Twilight gasped, smiling at the familiar sight.  The gems sparkled with power as they flickered in and out of existence, shimmering in the glow of the magical torrent around them.  Suddenly, they threw off a wild spark of magic.  The flickering grew more and more rapid, visibly draining the Princesses’ magic until the two Alicorns collapsed on the floor, the Elements vanishing entirely.

“Whuh-where’d they go!?”  Rainbow Dash gasped.

“It is as I feared,” Celestia sighed, picking herself up and helping Luna onto her hooves.  “That was a teleportation spell using the same principles behind the technology you used to get here, Vance…”

“On a normal day, it’s unstable enough to wipe the Elements from existence entirely, losing them to the nether for all time,” Luna explained.  “That’s why we’ve hesitated to use such a spell before.”

“But today’s not just a normal day,” Vance realized.  “We’ve been punchin’ holes in the nether left and right!”

“This is true,” Celestia continued.  “The fact that so many portals have been opened today greatly reduces the risk of losing the Elements.  However, they make it almost completely impossible to pinpoint where the Elements have been teleported to, precisely.”

“Well, great,” Parker sighed, leaning against a window sill.  “There goes our best weapon!”

“I wouldn’t say that, Lieutenant,” Vance said, a knowing grin spreading across his face as he pointed at the night sky behind his second’s head.  All eyes focused on the sky, where six shooting stars had suddenly appeared just off the side of the moon.

“I should’ve known,” Luna said, smiling up at her element of power.

“The spell must have sent them into deep space!”  Twilight gasped.  “The Elements will be landing all over the place!”

“Well, what in tarnation are we waitin’ for!?”  Applejack added, running for the door.  “We’ve got us some element catchin’ t’do!”

“Wait,” Celestia gasped, galloping to Parker’s side and fishing a walkie talkie out of his pocket with her teeth.  

“What’re you…” the Lieutenant started as she fiddled with it using a bit of her magic, but a quick glare from Vance silenced any questions he might have had.

“There,” the Princess said as the little device started beeping.  “It’s infused with Alicorn magic now.  It will start beeping the closer it gets to an Element.”

“Well, that’s…” Parker started as he scooped his talkie up, only to drop it instantly, his hand darting away as if it were a hot coal.  “Sonuva…”

“What did you see?”  Celestia asked politely.

“What?”  He looked at everyone in the room, confused, but a reassuring look from Miller and Vance spurred him on.  “I saw…a room with pink wallpaper.  There were balloons everywhere.  Games…cake and…pin the tail on the pony?  I dunno, it looked like a little girl’s birthday party, but with ponies.  Everybody was laughin’ and…”

“Whee-hee, sounds like fun!”  Pinkie giggled.

“Laughter,” Celestia explained with a knowing smile.  “That device will also provide a vision to anyone holding it to inform them which of the Elements are closest.”

“Well, with that all sorted out,” Rainbow said, picking up the small device by its antenna and gingerly handing it off to Twilight, who had a cloth ready and waiting to hold it.  With the talkie safely in hoof, the pegasus gazed over at Celestia expectedly.

“Yes, Miss Dash,” the Princess said with a smile.  “Now you may leave.”

“Finally!”  She gasped, spreading her wings and taking off out the door with her friends right behind her.

“And hurry!”  Miller yelled after them.  “We can’t be sure how long we can hold out without the Elements!”

Chen took the momentary lapse in everyone’s attention to join his brother in the corner.  He rested a hand on the man in the leather jacket’s shoulder: he knew nothing needed to be said, and so he remained quiet.  

“He’s really gone, isn’t he?”  Michael asked after a short while had passed.

“Yes.  Come now, we must stop him.”

“Yeah,” Michael replied, silver tears streaking down his cheeks as he gazed upwards, trying his very best to swallow the massive lump growing in his throat.  “I know.”

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