There was a fire burning merrily in the Golden Oaks reading room's fireplace when I got back, and the smell of wood smoke was chasing out the leftover scent of Pinkie's herbal bath. Twilight was levitating another log onto the fire as I stepped in, now thankfully divested of my heavy luggage, her expression brightened visibly as I stepped into the room.

“Hey Jasper, welcome back, did you find your new place ok?”

“Yeah,” I answered as I pulled up one of the easy chairs, “Ponyville isn't really big enough for me to get lost in.”

“True enough, it's really nothing like Canterlot.” I couldn't help but agree with the sentiment. The bustling royal capitol was a cultural hub and a center for diplomatic delegations. Despite it's close proximity to the city Ponyville was barely a speck in comparison.

“It has a lot of charm though,” I settled into the plush chair across from my friend with relish, “and most importantly: it's peaceful.”

Twilight scoffed as she settled into her own seat, “I wouldn't go that far, you try babysitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders and just see how 'peaceful' you feel.”

“Who?”

“Oh, these three fillies who are trying to get their Cutie Marks as fast as possibe. Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo,” Twilight counted off, “and Applebloom.”

“Huh... I don't suppose that last one is related to your friend Applejack?” I asked, suddenly sure that I now knew the name of the foal in the locket picture.

“That's right, not very subtle is it?” She laughed, “ just be glad you weren't here for the family reunion, it would put you off apples for weeks.”

We shared a laugh that trailed off into the night culminating with the both of us staring into the slowly burning logs. There was a lot of unspoken time between us, even though we'd been close friends in Academy together I felt like the war had caused a massive divide. I just hoped I could struggle over it and find some sense of normality again, here in Ponyville seemed like a good place for that to begin.

Twilight broke the silence with a cough, her expression had become something more somber. “So, it was really bad wasn't it?”

I didn't waste my breath asking what she meant, I just nodded.

“I”m sorry, I feel like a foal that's just found out the tooth fairy isn't real,” I knew that self-deprecating look on her face, but I let her continue, I knew she had to get it out. “The war never crossed far past the eastern Equestrian coast so I guess us ponies in the middle never felt much beyond the economic repercussions.”

“With their primary raiding tactic essentially neutered the griffons were pushed into a prolonged affair to try and seize the land they wanted.”

I could see the beginnings of impotent frustration on her face, she was angry. Maybe angry over the deaths, or the war, or her own lack of knowledge even. Twilight always had been an empathetic pony, kind and more than a little naïve.

“But why didn't they just stop? Economically, logistically, even ethically, the whole war made no sense from the griffon side!” Barely suppressed emotion rattled behind her words, I'd wondered the same thing dozens of times in that hellhole of a bunker. I gave her the answer I'd eventually come up with.

“Pride.”

My succinct answer almost visibly deflated her, she stared back at me disbelievingly.

“The whole war?” she asked, not wanting to accept it. I didn't blame her accepting that a bloody 3-year war had mostly been the product of stubborn pride didn't have great things to say about anypony.

“I doubt it started that way,” my own musings found a voice as I talked to Twilight, it was comforting, but then I was always pretty comfortable around her. “It started with the bunkers, we thought they'd give up, but the griffons are a proud martial folk and didn't. Then they tried to move inward, but found only attrition and strike squads pushing them back. That act wounded their pride yet again. So, they dug in and tried to take an early beachhead, but they'd waited too long and our defenses were too strong. By the time all was said and done we had been fighting long enough that mutual hate was enough to fuel the rest of the war. At that point we all had something to avenge and nothing but blood would see that put to rest.”

“But... that's just...”

“Horrible, I know, but the griffons don't have the advantage of an immortal ruler like we do.”

Twilight gave me an odd look before comprehension dawned.

“Which means: They're more prone to thinking short term,” she filled in with a small smile to which I nodded.

Twilight was always in a better mood after she figured out a puzzle or a leap of logic. That, of course, had been the point of my phrasing; it had given her something else to think about as well as a logical explanation for a terrible act.

“So...” I settled into a more comfortable position as I wondered how to broach the subject I knew would come up. “Are we going to talk about what you really wanted to ask? About why it took me three extra years to...”

Twilight's face fell but she nodded.

“I know who your mentor is, you have to know where I spent those years right?”

Another nod. I let out a sigh and took the plunge.

“Canterlot Sanitarium.”

To her credit she didn't flinch or even look uncomfortable, just sad and a little worried. At least it wasn't pity, Celestia knew I'd had more than my share of that. I didn't wait for her to ask, I knew what she wanted to hear so I told her.

“I didn't end the war on good terms, especially after Bunker Bridge. My whole world was red with blood and I think, in some ways, I never really came back from some of those last few battles. Long story short I had... I guess you could call it a breakdown. I don't even really remember most of my time in the loony bin to be honest. All I know is that I gradually got more lucid until they deemed me 'fit to reenter society'.”

“You look ok from where I'm sitting,” Twilight remarked shyly.

No poker face whatsoever.

“Twilight...”

The tone of my voice made Twilight's face go scarlet with embarrassment and she turned away.

“Oh, wow uh, Jasper, I-” she stammered trying to salvage something of her intentions, I was just as lost on how back out of the awkward mire I'd dropped us into. “I'm so sorry, I just... endless night, that was really just...”

I chuckled, I couldn't help it. Her awkward flailing was actually one of her most endearing aspects. She managed to make it look adorable rather than pathetic which was a rare feat.

“You're... are you... that wasn't funny! Are you laughing at me?” her voice accusatory.

“No, of course not,” I answered, completely straight-faced.

“Liar.”

“Pipsqueak.”

“Loser.”

“Nerd.”

“Numbskull.”

“Know-it-all.”

We stared death at each other for a good minute before one of her facial muscles tweaked. That was the pebble that began the avalanche and with glacial inevitability smiles started to edge onto our faces. Then came the stifled snorts of laughter, the hitching chuckles, and by the end of it we were both out of chairs holding each other up as we howled with laughter. It was absurd and foalish and completely unwarranted but by the Sun it felt good to laugh like a normal colt again. Eventually we mastered ourselves, laying on the floor gasping for breath and riding out the last peals of laughter that were left over.

“Oh, it has been way too long since I've done that.”

“What?” she asked between breaths, “laughed?”

I shrugged agreed, “I guess, not a lot of laughs to be had in the bunkers or the bin y'know?”

“Yeah... I guess there wouldn't be huh?”

Twilight was up first and gave me a helping hoof up as well. I was about to open my mouth to thank her but in the moments between getting onto my hooves and looking up at her she had crossed the small distance and wrapped her forelegs around me in a desperate hug. I stood there dumbly for a moment trying to decide what was happening until I realized she was shaking. Ever so slightly shivering in my embrace, and there was a warm wetness leaking onto my shoulder.

Twilight was very quietly crying into my mane.

“H-hey, what's wrong?”

“I-I'm s-sorry, I just... I'm a mess. I was so worried all the time for so long. Ever since you were sent to the war I wondered what would happen if I lost you. Then when Celestia said you survived but you were in solitary in the Sanitarium, I thought I'd lost you in a way that was worse.”

I didn't deny that, I would rather be dead on the battlefield then locked in a padded cell in a state of psychosis.

“T-then she said you were improving and it felt like I'd started breathing again for the first time in five years, I asked her about you every time we talked and...”

“Yeah, she said you were concerned, I had no idea that I was-”

She pulled away so she could glare at me with tear-stained eyes that were going a little red. Some mare's can cry with dignity and grace, make it look good so to speak. Twilight was not one of them, on her it just looked like hurt, and I hated that.

“What? You had no idea that you were what?” she rasped through small sobs, “that you were the first pony to ever stand up for me? That you were my only friend outside of the ivory tower I was stuck in for half of my life? That you were the only pony to treat me like I was... normal?”

She let out a ragged breath as the fight left her, I pulled her back into me and she sagged against my chest.

“I was just... I couldn't imagine my first friendship ending in insanity or death, it would've been just too cruel.”

“It didn't though, I'm here, I'm back, and I'm sane. At least, as sane as I ever was.”

Twilight laughed a little harshly, “I did wonder about that sometimes considering some of the pranks you pulled on Luster.”

“Oh night, you remember that vacuous little puff?”

“Of course I do, I also remember you opening a mud-hole in the road every time a carriage passed her on the street just to ruin her outfit.”

“Yeah, as I recall she ended up hugging the wall every time she went out after a couple of weeks.”

“She deserved it though after some of those beatings her cronies gave you.”

“I was fine.”

“You were a walking bruise.”

I scoffed and tousled her mane again since it had finally returned to normal which, of course, could not be allowed. Eschewing the chairs we opted instead to sit side-by-side in front of the fireplace, enjoying the comforting familiarity of being near each other again. I felt her head droop against my shoulder and for a moment I thought she had fallen asleep. When I turned to look at her though I saw that she was just leaning against me, staring with half-lidded eyes into the firelight.

“Hey Jasper?”

“Mhm?”

“W-what would do you think of... us?”

The directness of the question struck me between the eyeballs. Fortunately she was patient, which was good because I had to think long and hard about my answer. Although it wasn't an unfair question, it was still a loaded one, I mean we weren't that far apart in age, we were good friends and got along well, and if I said I didn't find her attractive I would be forced to conclude that I had in fact died in the war because only a dead colt would think that.

All of that was true but still...

“I honestly don't know yet,” I said softly, turning to rest my chin gently on her head. “I really don't think I'm that stable yet to be honest. I know I seem fine but trust me, up here...” I prodded my head with a hoof for emphasis, “it's still a rattlesnake's nest of problems.” That was the understatement of the year, too bad I couldn't really tell her about the worst ones... literally.

I felt her nod at my answer though. She was disappointed but, unless I missed my guess completely, not entirely surprised. After all, Twilight had an intellect brighter than the morning star and she wasn't totally naïve. I couldn't ask her to wait but on the other hoof I had no right to tell her what to do at all. History has shown that she is infinitely better at making decisions than I am.

“You're a lot more confident than when I left you Twi,” I remarked as the atmosphere eased a little, “the old you would never have had the gumption to ask that question.”

Twilight giggled lightly in response, a pleasant tinkling sound that made me think of a forest spring.

“Well, I've had more than a little help, my friends have been good for me.”

Noticing that her mane was calming down again I tousled it again, eliciting a playful growl from the mare it belonged to.

“Good, I'm glad of that, and I'm sorry I couldn't give you the answer you wanted.”

“Don't be, I'm glad you were honest with me,” Twilight replied with a lightly dismissive shake of her head. “I should have known better anyway, considering how many psych textbooks I've read.”

“You can't always break those things down cerebrally half-pint.”

“Try and stop me.”

“Uh, no I'm good.”

We shared another laugh, controlled this time but freeing nonetheless. I had forgotten how good it felt to be at peace, when I'd been younger I'd never known how good I'd had it. Now that I've seen the world at its ugliest I gained a new appreciation for harmony. I could understand now, just a little bit, why the Princesses would go so far to protect it.

Even now I could feel the scratching in my mind. My memories and skills, garnered over the course of three years of brutal combat, placed behind a seal as high and mighty as the walls of Canterlot. I could hear the indistinct susurration elicited from that unholy fragment. With an effort I pushed it away, it's time was done now and I had no desire to revisit it.

“Are you ok?” Twilight's voice was concerned, I realized I had drifted off for a moment. Lost in the shadowed memories that were hidden from me.

“Yeah, I'm fine, just tired, I think I'll hit the sack,” I fought down a yawn, realizing as I spoke how true my words were. “Thank you, for the company and the conversation.”

“Anytime old friend,” she leaned in and gave me a chaste peck on the cheek. My face warmed slightly at the show affection.

I said I wasn't ready to date, I said nothing about kisses from beautiful mares, I am a still a stallion after all.

“'Good night half-pint.”

“Are you ever going to stop calling me that?” Twilight moaned as she walked me to the door.

“Not as long as I can do this...” I mussed her mane on last time before sprinting out laughing into the night just barely ahead of three deftly hurled quills and an empty scroll-case.

I woke up to, no joke, the sound of bird song. I couldn't remember the last time I'd woken up to something that pleasant. Usually I was waking up the sound of an orderly pounding on my door with the morning's medication in hoof. I opened my eyes, immediately snapping them shut again as light streamed in. The sun was barely up but years of training didn't fade easily and I was up with the dawn as usual. I carefully made my bed before taking my daily pill I'd been given a generous supply of, I pulled all the clothing I'd need for the day out and set them up before I left the room. The army had instilled a sense of order and discipline into me that I didn't even think about anymore and the routine was comforting in it's own way.

The home that the crown had provided for me wasn't lavish, it was a three room cottage with a small bedroom, a smaller kitchen, and a respectable living area. Outside was a modest garden which I intended to make use of. The one upside to earth magic is being able to do the slow stuff. I mean sure, throwing around telekinesis and fireballs and whatnot is neat but there's probably only a hooffull of ponies who can make things grow the way I can. Even earth ponies can't make a tree bear fruit unless it's in season. I, on the other hoof, can make an apple tree bear oranges which I was expressly informed would be a bad idea here in Ponyville given its apple-driven economy. Unfortunately I had far more important, and far less pleasant, things to do today than gardening. A simple breakfast and several cups of coffee later I was out the door with the directions Twilight had written up for me tucked into one of my many greatcoat's pockets. Her writing was as crisp and clear as always and saw me on the correct path within moments, I didn't even need to head through town, which was actually fine by me, the mist of the early morning hadn't even begun to burn off yet.

I'd been walking for about a mile alongside the small river that coasted the edge of Ponyville when I heard a wordless tune carried on the wind. There didn't seem to be any active rhyme or rhythm to it but that wasn't important. The important part was that the voice producing it was clearer and purer and polished crystal. Without thinking about it I moved closer, there was something almost hypnotic about the music and the way it drew me in was so subtle I didn't notice I'd been changing direction until I'd made my way up one of the rolling hills by the bank. I saw the singer sitting beneath a wide tree with all manner of forest animals, large and small, flocking around her. She had a butter-yellow coat and a long pink mane that came down like a waterfall to her pool at the ground she was resting upon. Nopony else was around but her and I, along with a veritable legion of cuddly forest animals and one very large bear. As suddenly I'd noticed it, the song stopped and I snapped back to reality, with a shock I realized I was nearly to the tree myself. The yellow pegasus was staring at me with equal parts abject fear and mortified embarrassment.

“O-oh my... I didn't know anypony was out here.. I mean, nopony is ever out this far this early, I mean... uhm...” she stammered for a while until she noticed the reactions of the animals around her. There were only two reactions to speak of. The large animals all had their hackles up and were looking at me like I was a threat, while the smaller ones scurried for safety behind the larger ones or the pegasus herself. Suddenly her attention was on the animals rather than me and her demeanor changed to a more comforting one.

“Hey now, what's wrong little ones, I'm sure he didn't mean to startle us,” she cooed, referring to even the massive bear as 'little one' which, surprisingly, but her voice seemed to soothe it. Eventually she turned back to me once the creatures returned to a wary state rather than actively hostile. “I'm so sorry, usually their much better behaved.”

“Don't worry about, I just heard somepony singing and I...” I looked for a way to say it that didn't make me look like a total creep, “I guess I felt... drawn by it, it's strange I know.”

She shook her head at my last words though, “uhm, not really, but...”

“But?”

“Well, that's how I always bring out the animals on nice mornings like this,” she said in a voice like velvet, “but it's never happened to another pony before.”

I won't lie, that made me a little uncomfortable. The idea that the trick this mare uses to call up animals worked just as well on me wasn't exactly the highlight of my year.

“So it is weird, just... weirder than I thought.”

She nodded, her face drifting idly behind her voluminous bangs as if she were hiding. That was when I really registered her features. She wasn't just pretty, she was gorgeous, with large expressive eyes that sparkled with a sort of untouched innocence that even Twilight lacked. She had a small, pert mouth and delicate cheekbones that I was sure would make her smile a hell of a dazzler. This wasn't just a mare, this was one capital 'L' of a Lady.

At that point I realized I was staring and she had fully retreated into her hair. Which made me feel like a cretin. To be honest I didn't really feel like I even belonged near her. I was a soldier, I'd committed terrible acts of violence that never seemed as near as they did right now as I stood next to somepony who was most probably my polar opposite in every way.

“U-uhm, are you ok sir?”

“Oh, uh... yeah, just thinking I should really get out of your hair. Sorry I bothered you miss,” with that I moved away, turning back to my path.

“W-wait,” came her small voice, I looked back to see her peeking out from behind her bangs at me. “My name... it's Fluttershy.”

I blinked for a moment, searching my mind for the reason that her name seemed familiar.

'You'll probably be the closest thing to a neighbor my friend Fluttershy has ever had'

Twilight's words came back to me and I cursed myself for a foal for not recognizing the yellow mare from her description. To be fair I hadn't really imagined her being so... well, in the corps had a name for that fillies that looked like she did.

A knock-out.

“I've actually heard of you before,” I mentioned off-hoof as her identity came back to me, somehow that sent her into even more of a panic.

“H-huh?!”

“Oh, no, I'm sorry I just... damn it,” I planted a hoof into my face as I tried to work the words out around my flailing tongue. “My name is Jasper, I'm an old friend of Twilight Sparkle's, she's sent me a few letters about you and her other friends.”

Instantly Fluttershy's demeanor shifted from panic to completely pleasant and it was at that point that I realized I had been totally correct: She really did have one hell of a smile.

“Oh! You're a friend of Twilight's? I'm so glad to meet you! I didn't know she had any other friends. Oh my that sounded awful... Uhm, pleased to meet you Mister Shale,” she moved forward, demurely offering a hoof. Without thinking I took it gently in my scarred right hoof and brought my head down to plant a small kiss on it; a painfully traditional greeting, but one that was drilled into all Equestrian Royal Army officers for formal occasions.

Which this really wasn't.

Fluttershy let out a small sound like a mouse being trodden on and I looked up in time to see her go scarlet to the tips of her ears.

“Ah, I'm sorry... I'm a former officer and... it's a habit.” Fluttershy gently withdrew her hoof as I apologized, and stared resolutely at the ground with wide eyes.

“I-it's ok...”she nervously pawed at the soft earth with a hoof as her blush died down. “You have very good manners, it just surprised me.”

We stood with a sort of awkward silence hanging between us for a moment.

“Ahem, well, I'm sorry again for interrupting your morning, Miss Fluttershy, but I have an errand to run at Sweet Apple Acres so I should be going.”

“O-oh, ok, uhm, you said you lived nearby though?”

I turned back to her as I began to make my exit and nodded.

“Well, if it's not too much trouble, you could come by for tea some time, I don't get many visitors out here and, well, the company would be... nice.”

Tea. Just tea then?

“Uhm, yeah, that actually sounds..."I back-pedaled, remembering my manners "what I mean is, I'd love to Miss Fluttershy.”

She squeaked as I accepted, I think a part of her didn't expect me to actually agree, but she smiled bashfully. “O-ok then, uhm, have a safe walk, Mister Shale.”

“Please, call me Jasper.”

“Oh, well, alright... good morning then... Jasper.”

I inclined my head in a small bow, today was turning out much better than I had anticipated, I had the feeling, though, that it wouldn't last. Mostly, for the reasons that brought me to the farmstead of the Apple Family.