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In Memorial

by Bandy

Chapter 1: In memorial


AN---On Saturday, January 16 at 10:34 PM central time, I hit a bird with my car. It shattered my windshield, and killed the bird instantly. In this, a moment of cruel realization and guilt, I attempt to do the bird justice with words. Words will not bring it back, but at least I have the small comfort, however minuscule it may be, that the bird's memory will live in you, dear reader.
Happy Wednesday.


"It... It just came out of nowhere!" Rainbow Dash spouted, holding a cloth to her head to sop up the thin stream of blood trickling down her temples.

"Oh no... No no no... This can't be happening!" said Fluttershy in a tone so concerned that it made her near-whispered words hit Dash like they were shouted through a megaphone. "You need to tell me exactly what happened. Now!" She recoiled at her own intensity. "If that's okay, I mean."

"Okay..."


Rainbow Dash had flown thousands, if not millions of times. Today was no different. Savoring the wind in her face like a fine wine, she fell into a blissful state of euphoria, lazily rolling over so her back faced the ground, keeping speed by pumping her wings slightly faster than normal.

No matter, she needed the exercise anyway. Well... She really didn't. She was the best flier in all Equestria: to carry that
title, one must be in peak physical condition. Like her personal hero, Soarin' said: 'flight is physical. Get use to it.'. She had taken those words to heart, Adapting a physical flight style that had allowed her to master the sonic rainboom, making her-

WHAM

Her head impacted with something solid, throwing her off of her trajectory, and sending her into a dead man's spiral. Through the red haze slowly enveloping her mind, she saw the earth, rapidly ascending to meet her. Acting on instinct, she unfurled her wings, extended her legs, and made herself as wide as possible, so as to slow her descent. Through some small miracle, she was able to catch a crosswind under her wings, and glide ever so gently into the ground. She wouldn't know, however, as she knocked her head into the earth, forcing her into a habitual state of semi-consciousness. It was only after several minutes of sitting there, rubbing her head in a mild state of concussed shock that Fluttershy happened upon her.

"...And that brings you up to speed. Can I go now? I think I'm bleeding' out here."

She was so absorbed in her own recaption of her story that she didn't notice Fluttershy stray from Dash's position, cantering around the location, checking behind bushes and shrubbery for some unforeseen reason. Her eyes came upon the form of something, small, sleek, and blue, lying on its side in a clearing about 100 yards from the spot Dash had impacted, the crater still smoldering. Rainbow tracked the yellow Pegasus, eyes following her until she stopped just in front of the form.

Fluttershy sank to her knees.

Put her head next to the thing.

Lifted her head.

She turned, giving Dash a look of pure, unadulterated sadness. Then she burst into tears, her sobs causing her to shudder violently as she put her head to the earth, slamming her hoof weakly on the ground.

Quizzical at the mare’s outburst of emotion, Dash trotted over to her. "Fluttershy, what's wrong? Is everything ok?"

"NO!" she shouted, causing Rainbow to fall over, head smacking the ground again. Instead of pain, however, she felt nothing but confusion. What could the form in front of Fluttershy be so as to make her emotional reaction so volatile?

"Fluttershy, what in Celestia's name is going on?"

Instead of replying, she simply extended a hoof towards the form laying, unmoving, in front of her.

As Dash's full attention rested on the object, her mind pieced together what had happened.

In front of Fluttershy lay the dead body of a bluebird.

"Wha... Did I hit...Oh no. No no no!" Dash's voice cracked ad she ran to the bird, and searched in vain for a way to wake it up, to reanimate it from its stupor.

Rainbow Dash was not a stupid pony, however. She knew that at the speeds she was going, this poor bird never had a chance. It was not malformed, hardly a feather out of place as it sat in its final salute to the mortal world, the warmth of life slowly draining itself from the bird.

Now two ponies sat over the body, their tears saturating the earth around it, the body of the once graceful bird now becoming surrounded by an invariable puddle of loathing.

"Why?! I just HAD to not look where I was going. I just HAD to let my guard down!" Rainbow's face contorted in a mixture of guilt, grief, and now rage, the trio twisting her face into a pathetic heap of emotions. Rainbow got up, stamped the ground a few times, and, letting out a war cry, she shot upwards, climbing to the point that she was no longer even a speck in the sky.

She reversed course, tears bubbling forth from her eyes, wells of sadness that appeared to be bottomless. Tearing across the sky at monumental speeds, she hardly noticed as she burst past the sonic barrier, a massive, concussive BOOM trailing her. But she didn't stop there. Still faster than sound, she circled around, aiming the cone of compressed air behind her towards the apex of the sonic rainboom's afterglow. As she approached, she slowed, allowing a funnel of air to buffet her, channeling the rainbow glow of her stunt into a downward arc of light and sound heading for earth at terminal velocity.

Every pony in all of Equestria felt the impact, the princess herself sensing the sonic disturbances in far-off Canterlot. A more than fitting memorial for such a graceful and elegant creature.

As Rainbow Dash returned to ground level, she dropped her head, and cried. Cried like nopony was watching her, despite the fact that a sizable collection of ponies had gathered to investigate the source of the explosion of color and sound.

Let them stare. Let them see what I did. I don't care any more. I killed an innocent bird, took a life. For what?

Dash could not bear to try to answer her question, instead allowing herself to simply fall over, eyes beginning to dry, her well of sadness finally depleted.

Eventually, she walked over to Fluttershy, who had wrapped the bird in a cloth. No words were said, as none needed to be said. What had happened had happened, what was done was done.

The two ponies walked towards Fluttershy's cottage, a vain, sorrowful look on their faces.

At the entrance to the cottage, Rainbow was confronted by the shy, smaller Pegasus. "It was an accident. You didn't mean to-"

"It doesn't matter! He is just as dead, whether it was an accident or not! It just... Doesn't matter."

A hoof rested on Rainbow's shoulder. "It does. You can't just go best yourself up like this over an accident."

"You don't get it, do you? I could've prevented this! If I hadn't flown on my back, if I had been paying more attention, maybe he would still be here!"

"Maybe. Maybe not." the flat, almost lifeless words from Fluttershy caught Rainbow unassuming and surprised at the mare's tone. "Maybe you could've prevented it. Maybe you couldn't have. We'll never know now. What's important is you learn from this. You-"

"Oh, great! Bucking great! Now I'm supposed to learn something, too! Maybe I'll write to the princess about it! Dear princess, today I learned what it's like to kill something! I-"

Fluttershy burst into tears at Dash's outburst, causing the mare's heart to shatter, whatever fragments were left from the previous heartbreak vaporized into nothing at the site of the yellow mare in such a pitiful state.

Great. Now I've just become the worst friend ever.

"Fluttershy... I-I" Dash couldn't control the tears. In a matter of minutes, both ponies were on the ground, balling into the soil hysterically.

After some time of this, they both looked up at each other, any semblance of poise or dignity now washed away with the tears.

Somehow, they began to laugh, a grim chuckle turning into an uncontrollable spasm of laughter.

"Wow. We must look pretty bad," said Rainbow Dash, wiping a fresh set if tears from her face. "Let's wash up. A bath sounds good about now."

"Agreed." said Fluttershy, shaking herself slightly to rid herself of any loose debris she had unknowingly acquired.

"Hey," Dash turned to Fluttershy. "You are the best friend I could possibly have, like, ever. I'm sorry about the bluebird, and I really hope you won't hold this against me."

Fluttershy's face lightened slightly as the words reached her. "Just don't hold this against yourself. What happened, happened. You just can't let this hold you down forever."

"Hey," said Dash, puffing her chest out, "Nothing can stop the best flier in all of Equestria!" Her tone was weak, betraying her own sadness.

They shared a laugh, nuzzling comfortingly as they walked into the cottage.



Postscript: This is the first time I cried while writing, sadness not being a well known emotion to me. It is now 12:29 AM, Sunday, January 17. First day in a world minus one bird.

Happy Wednesday.

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