After finally confronting Giselle I felt...alright. No longer afraid for the safety of my balls, that's for sure. But as for my situation as a whole, well - I knew that would take some more work.

Walking up the stairs of the complex I turned the corner and found Becky sitting outside of my door. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was dressed up in pajama pants and a sweater. Becky jumped to her feet when I came into view and stopped a few feet from her.

"What's up?" She asked, trying to sound and look chipper. Of course, after a minute of silence that act quickly faded and Becky's attitude became more, well, let's call it, "contrite." With her head lowered a bit, she glanced upward to me to say, "I've been doing a lot of thinking about it, and I'm sorry."

"...someone told you to apologize, huh?" I asked simply.

She was surprised by this and quickly blurted out, "What? No. Why would you even-"

I cut her off, not exactly in the mood to drag this out too long. "It was Sunbeam, wasn't it?"

Becky paused long enough to take a good enough look at my expression and became much more conscious of how she was trying to act. At least, that's what I'd like to think. After a moment of leaving her mouth agape she finally said in a quiet voice, "...Yeah."

Given all that’s happened so far, this sort of progression was pretty much an impossible scenario, given how inactive I’ve been on my part. Was Sunbeam trying to solve all of my problems for me? How is it that she seemed to be more invested in my life than I was? Well, despite all of the setbacks I’ve gone through, things always seemed to come out alright. Maybe I was expecting things to just solve themselves; I haven’t changed at all, have I?

Rather than let things go on like this, continue on like a line without my input changing the results, I’ll take a stand. Some sort of stand...to think I don’t even know what that really means. In any case, I’ll deal with what’s going on with the here and now and worry about everything else later.

"Why don't you come inside?" I offered and opened the door, holding it open for her to step in first. It only took a few steps in, of course to end up in the center of my apartment. After closing the door behind me I gestured for her to sit on the bed while I sat onto my chair.

A thought came to mind and I took to my feet again. "You want some water?"

Becky shook her head. "Oh, you really don't have to do that, thanks. This'll be quick, I promise." Hearing that I sat back down and waited for her to start. "So, like I said...I'm sorry."

I gave a simple reply in acknowledgement of her simple apology. "Alright."

She blinked at my response and asked, "Wait, you aren't going to forgive me?"

My face stoic to her reaction, I let out a long pent up sigh. A pent up sigh that was sure to make her misunderstand just how familiar the whole recent state of affairs felt. I shifted the back of the chair so I more naturally faced Becky's direction and figured now was as good time as any to dig out a bit of my past that I hoped to keep buried. "Becky, I've done some dumb things. Really dumb things in my life. Mostly in college. I honestly didn't think Equestria would be a redux of those years.” And the more I think about it, I haven’t done much to ensure this wouldn’t happen again.

“I've never been one to really let things like getting tricked into sleeping with someone get under my skin. I was surprised, a bit terrified even, by what happened. But besides the threats and the slut shaming I can't really complain about my time here. I sort of recollect all the drinks I had even before that concoction I let myself get roped into having. And so, there's a bit of my fault in what happened, I'll be the first to admit.” To think I’m able to say all this with a straight face. Taking the high road.

"I've already learned the lesson of letting my anger get the best of me. I've done the court-ordered anger management classes, after all. To tell you the truth, something that petty is not worth a night in jail. And I don't know about you, but the amount of money the bank is paying me to be here? Amazing. I mean, I'm making a whole year's salary in half the time.

"So in the grand scheme of things, what happened that night, personally, is small stuff."

At first unsure how to reply, which showed from her ever changing facial expressions as I gave my little speech, Becky gulped and finally asked, "Does that mean you're alright with it? Water under the bridge?"

I understood what she was doing. Becky was trying to set things back to "normal" again. Is it wrong of me that I secretly wanted her to stew a bit more on the results of her scheme? To make up for the kind of guilt she tried to heap onto me? Sure, there were lots of factors involved in what happened that night and ensuing morning. But I could at the very least savor this sort of step I'm making. "...I'll forgive you eventually. Just let me brood for a bit more."

Becky forced a chuckle and smile as she brushed back a loose strand of hair from her face. "Yeah. I guess I owe you at least that much, huh?"

"Actually more than that. Much more...eh...I dunno...I'll think on it."

She nodded, still unsure how to react.

"Good night, Becky," I said with a nod, giving her a smile. She flinched the moment I stood up, making the psychology minor in me wonder what that was about. But I really wanted to just get past all of this and opened the front door.

She took the hint and made her way out. "G-good night," she said sheepishly. She remained standing outside when I closed the door, then proceeded to get ready for bed.

I'm tired of getting sucked into drama. I’m going to finally take a stand, even if that means I’ll confront my past self. I really don't have to apologize to anyone.

I began to change out of my clothes when a piece if paper fluttered down to the floor.

I unfolded it to see that it was the directions to Raven's home in Canterlot. Without a second thought I ripped up the piece of paper that had Raven's address and tossed the scraps into the waste basket then got ready to sleep.

Esteem part 2

I can't believe how well I slept last night.

Without even needing to stretch out any kinks I opened my eyes as sunlight peeked through the curtains just right to bounce off the white walls and illuminate the room to set a comfortable mood.

Throwing my covers off to the side, I leapt to my feet, excited to get the day started. For the first time in a long while I felt a bounce to my step and, pardon the cliché, as though a weight was lifted off my shoulders. A nagging, sneering, four-legged weight with an orange mane. I dressed and cleaned up and ate my breakfast without any problems at all.

The walk to work seemed brighter today, too. Heck, everything in Neighagra Falls seemed to shimmer and shine. The sun was bright and merry and all of that fun stuff.

I was sure that from here on out everything would be fine.

Just as I stepped into the bank, Mrs. Plumbcake's cheerful voice carried over from just behind the Employee's Only door, keeping it opened with her shoulder against it. "Ah, Matthew. You're just in time." She gestured me to hurry over with a wave of her hoof and held the door open just long enough for me to catch it as it began to close. I watched her trot a few steps down the short hallway and make a right to the area behind the teller's counter. following her, I came across an unfamiliar pony standing next to Mrs. Plumbcake.

"Marigold is replacing our day manager, Peter, who had been transferred to another branch,” Mrs. Plumbcake started to explain. “It was all incredibly short notice, so unfortunately we didn't have the chance to have a going away party for him."

I managed a quick glance toward the pony in question. Marigold was a cream-colored gal with a curly mane and tail. They were both managed into raids that seemed spongey like blue cotton candy. She looked upbeat and happy to be here like most any pony I've seen in Equestria. I emphasize most.

“She was actually working for the bank on the other side of the portal as a part of the exchange program, and we’re just so happy to have her at First Neighagra!” The mare didn’t wait for me to begin applauding, which involved lightly tapping her front hooves on the floor.

“Nice to meet you,” I politely said with a nod when Mrs. Plumbcake was finished.

“Likewise,” she replied, adding a wink.

I took exception to that, of course, and let out an awkward chuckle. The kind that a person only gives to fill in an awkward silence when their boss was around. Speaking of which, Mrs. Plumbcake, of course none the wiser, turned to her new day manager she said, “Matthew here is also relatively new, but has been such a great asset to the team. I’m sure you’ll have nothing to worry about.” And as she was wont to, the ever-giddy mare looked my way and smiled. “Keep up the good work, Matthew!” She led Marigold toward the manager’s office, leaving me confused about what just happened and more than a bit rustled.

A more familiar face arrived, reminding me that I still had my opening responsibilities to attend to.

I mumbled out my usual "Mornin'" to Sunbeam as she made her way to her teller booth. She mumbled her own giggled reply as she tried and failed to pretend she wasn't fully awake.

We dutifully set up our registers and booted up our computers without exchanging a word, hearing the tone sing out as the screen display asked for a password to continue. I used to think that touchscreens were complete rubbish until I saw how useful they were to ponies, what with their hooves and all. I still found it easier to use a keyboard, for obvious reasons. More amazing is the fact that most of the ponies here had better writing than I did. And that was without using magic, or even the specialized pens that a few companies had been trying to hawk for the past few years.

In fact, in the time it took me to glance at my watch to see we had about six minutes before opening, Sunbeam had already logged in and set up her station. She was already starting on her cash drawer by the time my desktop came into view. Then right on schedule, at five minutes to opening, Mrs. Plumbcake excitedly trotted out with her manager’s ring of keys toward the front door. Even from where I stood, I could see a number of ponies and people already waiting outside. “Alright, everyone!” I heard Mrs. Plumbcake say. “The bank is open!”

I looked over to my screen and contemplated if I should change the Slowpoke wallpaper when I heard Sunbeam ask, "Are you still good to go out with us, tonight?"

“Sure, I see no reason not to,” I replied in a chipper tone. I split my attention between glancing at her and my computer screen to quickly pull up the banking software that allowed quick and easy access to our most recently updated databank delivery. “The usual place at six?”

“Yep! Same time, same place!” Sunbeam seemed to have noticed my slight change in demeanor, looking unsure as to whether she should comment or not. It was only a matter of seconds before she shrugged and smiled my way then looked away to help her first customer. “Welcome to Neighagra First Bank, Mr. Clockwork!” She said, greeting the bearded stallion in a familiar tone, “How are you, this morning?”

I looked ahead as well, waiting to help my first customer of the day watching the customers stream in. A number of “regulars” came in at different gaits, but mostly I was affected enough by my great mood to watch for every pony and person’s facial expressions. Whether they were happy or tired or angr-.

"Hey, Jerk," a voice greeted from behind me. From those two words, it seemed my whole mood was threatened to turn sour. Common sense pulled at me, telling me subconsciously not to turn around until I heard my name instead. “I know you can hear me. Did you think about what we talked about last night?” But then instinct reared its stupid face and possessed me long enough to glance and confirm the obvious that, yeah, it was Giselle.

"Yeah, I thought about it," I said. Girding myself for the inevitable blowback, I then added, "And I don't plan on going."

Giselle for some reason seemed satisfied by that answer and gave the tiniest hint of a smile. "Good," she said and continued her train of thought. "I have a few restaurant ideas for you to take Raven to and...wha-? What do you mean you're not going?!"

I wanted to roll my eyes but worried that breaking eye contact even once would be an invitation to be bum rushed.

To think that she was so set on me giving in. I almost shook my head and sighed, but seeing her tense up as though ready to tackle me to the floor was more than a little intimidating. Survival instinct dictated that I remained still. It took me a fair bit of nerve not to take a step back when I repeated myself. "I'm not gonna go."

"You snot nosed..." For a moment there I thought she was really was going to pounce on me, but she hesitated after glancing to her left. My eyes quickly followed to see Sunbeam curtly spin around just as my focus shifted to her. A hint of movement drew my attention back to the pissed off mare in front of me, who had miraculously back off instead of trampling me in rage like she obviously looked like she wanted to. "...jerk. Why not? I thought we had an agreement."

"Besides our mutual hate, we didn't agree to bunk.” She continued to glare at me as if expecting lasers to strike me down. It was obvious that she had no idea what I was talking about, so I continued to make it as clear as possible. “You decided that I had to apologize for that set-up from Hell. And after lots of thinking about it last night, I decided that I'm not going to apologize for squat. Not like I'm expecting any apologies; I'm not petty like yours truly."

Her tail waved back and forth as though she was some sort of silent rattlesnake. I was pretty sure that Giselle's special talent had to involve the ability to unhinge her jaw.

"...I hate you," she hissed in a most fitting way.

"And I'm perfectly okay with that," I said with a shrug. "Anything else?"

She grumbled out some sort of threat - I wasn't really paying attention at this point - then stomped off after she realized that I wasn't going to be shivering at the mere sight of her anymore.

Alright, I'll admit that I did still sort of fear that she'd be waiting for me after work like some sort of school bully standing next to the flag pole after the last bell rang. But I'm not going to be cowed around anymore. I took a deep breath in and out to calm myself before looking ahead once more, realizing that I had been leaving one of my regulars without help. "Sorry for the wait, Mrs. Bluebell."

"Oh, not a problem, dearie," After a deep low, the ever-cheerful dairy cow continued with a finish of light laughter, "I'm not in much of a hurry, don't cha know?"

---

"To Matt for finally growing some balls!" Lucky cheered as he led the toast. After we clacked our mugs together, the stallion promptly drank his mug of beer in two solid gulps without even spilling a drop. While us mortal few drank in a more normal three to four gulps, Lucky had already flagged a nearby waitress for the next round. Through it all, Sunbeam only frowned and didn't join.

Not to say that she wasn’t drinking. Rather, she simply was against what the toast was celebrating. "I'm happy that you're finally asserting yourself but I'd have preferred you didn't do it by antagonizing Giselle like that." The mare expressed her opinion loud enough for our otherwise merry group to hear over the raucous of the bar around us.

Sam on the other hand, practically hollered his reply, pretty much confirming my suspicions in one go. “Cut him some slack, babe. The guy’s just been skating behind the path you’ve been bulldozing and sure he’s gonna...he’s gonna veer out a bit but he’s gotta veer...v-veer on his own to figure his shit out!”

“Couldn’t have rambled it better, myself!” I blurted out in comment and was immediately presented by the young husband to tap my mug against his. I promptly did so and we heartily finished our third and fifth mugs for the night, respectively. Just as we slammed the empty glasses onto the table, a waitress stopped by to deliver the next round and collect the clean up what we went through.

After the waitress was out of earshot, Sunbeam’s response was as straightforward as it was final, aimed dead set toward her human partner. “Well just for that you’ll be sleeping on the couch, tonight. WIth just your hands to keep you company.” She finally took a sip of her first and so far only drink.

Sam snickered as he took hold of his sixth mug. "Well joke's on you. I love to masturbate."

Not saying a thing, Sunbeam simply narrowed her eyes at the bald man, causing his smirk to disappear and him to avert his eyes to his lap. "...sorry, dear..."

After a moment Sunbeam sighed and hopped to the floor, her drink still only halfway done. "I'm going to go freshen up." We remained quiet as long as she was in earshot, but as soon as we collectively felt that the crowd around us afforded us cover, the three of us let out a group sigh. "See, this is why you should get a herd, Sam," Lucky grumbled.

"I bet he'd only get more mares like Sunbeam," I managed to snipe before taking a sip. The fresh batch made my taste buds dance at the surprisingly hoppy flavor, quite different than the last few rounds. My lips cringed just a bit from what had to have been an IPA of some sort.

"We've actually talked about it before,” Sam answered, his loose lips seeming to surprise even Lucky upon hearing this revelation.

“Wow,” I said, surprised that he replied as seriously as he did. I took a more tentative sip of the beer in my hand.

Sam shrugged and continued. "It's just that it's one thing to, y'know, be in a relationship with a pony. It's a whole other to be in love with more than one...at the same time."

Lucky guffawed and ribbed his brother-in-law with his hoof then turned toward me as he boasted,."I do it all the time. Only for a night, but still."

I shook my head, amazed by his audacity. "Does your misogyny know no bound?"

"Uh, hello? I'm a pony."

His explanation riled me up just a tad, but I held my tongue for a moment to take another drink So I could clear my head before making a slightly slurred rebuttal. "News flash: that's never been a good excuse."

"What?” He balked at my input. “It's the best excuse!"

"No, it isn't. You've taken all the worst things about being a human male and tucked it into a pony body. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're singlehandedly...uh...hoofedly? setting all of stallionhood back a century. I mean, it's like you stepped out of a feminazi's PSA video. Have you ever heard of Poe's Law? Seriously."

Lucky simply raised his eyebrow and took a long, silent slurp of his drink while keeping his eyes trained on me then said, "You sure have gotten chatty since finding your balls, man. Yeesh."

With impeccable timing Sam broke into my and Lucky’s standoff by literally sitting between us and rapped by shoulder with his knuckles. “Dude. Matt, dude. She's totally into you."

“Shit, your bitching must have attracted her attention,” Lucky chuckled out, speaking partially into his glass before taking a sip. “I don’t think she’s into chicks like you, Matt. Y’know, ones that are on the rag?”

“What are you even…?” Immediately I turned to face the direction he was, looking over my shoulder towards the bar. The crowd of people and ponies was a bit difficult to look past, but a small gap gave me a narrow window toward a woman that was staring right at me.

Apparently she noticed me since she spun around to look away.

“Go, my son,” Sam declared in some sort of elder statesman voice. “Give her one for the Gipper.”

Lucky shook his head and tapped his hoof against Sam’s chest. “But that goes completely against Matt’s M.O. He should just wait for everything to be done for him, then bitch and complain until somepony solves his problems.”

"Fuck it," I finally said, pretty much ignoring the pony at this point. "I'm going in."

"Wait, for real? You’re the man now, dog!" I heard Lucky raucously cheer in a quick turnaround, but even that was drowned out by the crowd around me.

I instead focused on reaching the bar, needing to first make it past the crowd of bodies in my way. Not to mention the hesitation at the back of my mind. An anxious worry that she wasn’t even looking at me. Or that she’d shoot me down. Heck, a girl like her is probably just waiting for her friend or boyfriend to get back from the bathroom. What chance was there for an empty spot to remain right next to a hot girl by the time I arrived? Still, every time I peered over the heads of other people she was still there. My resolve strengthened a bit and every step I made was tugged back less and less by the chains of worry than the previous one. I weaved through the people and ponies until I slid onto the barstool next to the red head.

"Hey. I'm Matt," I said without preamble, as though it was the most normal thing to do in this sort of situation.

She replied with a smile. A gorgeous, bright smile. It took me a bit more concentration than I care to admit to keep my eyes trained toward her. I just wanted to roam my glance all over her. How her petite frame managed to fit in that little black dress of hers, how her light tanned skin seemed to contrast with the sequined number.

As my luck would have it, the bartender arrived just then to set a brightly-colored drink in a tall, skinny glass. “That’ll be four-fifty,” he told her.

“I got it,” I quickly called out. I reached into my wallet and doled out a ten onto the bar, though watched as the bartender wordlessly looked to the girl. She nodded and the bartender took the ten, shortly returning with the change. I made the ever-so-impressive tip of a dollar before returning my attention to the red-head.

“What’s your name?” I asked as she took her time to sip her free drink.

Finally, she made eye contact, letting see her smokey green eyes roam over me in a quick once-over. As it just so happened, I was still in my work clothes, though sans jacket and tie. I quickly glanced down to check that the top button was unfastened before looking ahead once more. "Suzy," she said, grinning to show approval of what she saw so far.

“Matt.”

“Yeah, you already introduced your…” She stopped and blinked, realization dawning on her slightly freckled face as though she was Archimedes sitting in a bathtub. “I can't believe it…” she said, changing tack mid-sentence. “It is you. I remember you!" She announced this fact with a cute giggle, her smile growing even wider.

I smiled and chuckled, unable to recall ever meeting someone like her. Maybe it happened at work? My mind tended to drift off for minutes at a time while behind the teller’s booth. In any case I became quite aware of the positive attention she sent my way. With another chuckle I can only ask, "You do?"

"Well, yeah! You were so brave to stand up for those Diamond Dogs."

My brain was jumping hoops trying to follow her logic and I muttered to myself, "Diamond…? OH!” It hit me pretty hard, what happened in this very bar a few night ago. “Well I guess that saves me the trouble of using pick up lines on you…”

“So you buying a girl a drink doesn’t count?” She asked, her slightly scratchy voice carrying over the sound of the crowd around us.

“Why? Is it working?”

She tried to hold back a smile but failed to do so. “Maybe.”

“Heh. Fair enough.”

She paused for a moment to take another sip of her drink. I took this opportunity to look back at the others and instantly regretted doing so.

My eyebrows couldn’t have furrowed any more than they did when I caught sight of Sam and Lucky taking turns to pretend-doggystyle one another, looking at me and hollering in as stupid a fashion as possible. Sunbeam seemed to be taking it all in stride, downing a whole mug in one go while trying to look unassociated with her husband and brother’s shenanigans.

I chose to do the same, turning away just as Suzy resumed talking, having sipped about two thirds of her drink, already. “What would really work is if you told me why you were willing to fight those two guys the other day.”

“To be honest, I wasn't really looking for a fight," I say with a shrug. "I just thought it was the right thing to do."

She hummed and cooed before saying, "Well, to be honest, I felt really...impressed by that sort of chivalry." I could only gasp as she punctuated that statement not only through her tone, but with a very unmistakable non-verbal signal by lightly drawing her fair fingertips along my forearm.

My breath caught in my throat, I had to gulp before being able to reply. "You were?"

"Oh. Very much, so," she replied in a low voice, emphasizing her words with a sultry accentuation of her smokey green eyes. That mesmerizing pair of emeralds made me lost in my thoughts and I was sure that I was staring stupidly at this point. The way she traced her fingers up and down my arm, spelling something out that I was not at all in the position to try to figure out.

Somehow, amidst the noise of the crowd around us it felt like it was just her and me in the entire bar. My right leg was restlessly bouncing in place, reminding me of Thumper in the springtime. Somehow, I found the courage to ask, "So...you wanna get out of here?"

"Mmmm, I was wondering when you'd ask," she said happily, combing her hands through the bangs of her voluminous hair. I so just wanted to pull on that hair of hers while she was riding my hard di-

"Just one thing…” her voice interrupted my thoughts, bringing me back from that very-near possibility that I was just fantasizing. “My friend is here too, and I'm sure that she would love to join," Suzy said, pointing over to a unicorn sitting nearby the bar at a wall booth. It dawned on me that she had been watching me and Suzy's flirty exchange this whole time. Watching us with a look of hopeful expectation, of simmering want. Even from across the bar I could feel the heat of the orange-coated mare's gaze and saw her shiver from my noticing her.

Suzy's warm hand coiled around my index finger to slowly, teasingly stroke up from the knuckle to the tip. My attention definitely shot back to the fiery-haired woman. "Do you...have a problem with that?" She asked in a breathy manner.

My head was swimming and my body warm. My mouth crooked upwards into a wide smile at the meaning of what Suzy had just told me. What was going to happen if I took up her offer. The reverberation of the music whelmed my thoughts on the matter, as did the alcohol flowing through my bloodstream. Tilting my head back, I finished her glass then set it onto the table and grinned. "No. Not at all."

Author's Notes:

This can only lead to good things.