After hours of staring at the clock on the far wall, listening to its regularly intervaled ticks, while only occasionally being interrupted by a customer, my shift was finally over. It wasn't like I had anywhere I needed to be, it's just that it was one of those days when I just didn't want to be at work. Without needing to glance toward the windows I knew that the sun had already set outside, and now the few of us working this late into the night prepared to close up.

Mrs. Plumcake, who was scheduled to be the Manager On Duty tonight, had to leave for who knew why. She must have had some important reason since she was a pretty responsible pony.

It was just me and Giselle for tonight's shift, which should have seemed weird but it didn't really feel out of place. Even though it normally took four of us to clean up for the night I shrugged off the slight deviation from protocol.

So as soon as the minute hand landed upon the forty-five mark, its declarative tock sound alongside the second hand's ticking loud enough to hear because of the sheer silence of the bank, I stepped out of my booth and walked to the front. The soles of my brown loafers clicked and clacked against the hard linoleum floor, which had remained quite buffed since the janitor-pony, Red Clover, tended to it this morning. No tracks of mud since no rain had been scheduled, and no specks of dust since I went out of my way to use the broom to busy myself all day long.

I made sure to turn the reinforced lock of the front doors to set the bolt, then I made my way to each of the teller's booths, taking the cash boxes that remained to the back room and secured them in the proper areas after counting and noting what we had left. At the very least the others had put their things in the proper places before sneaking away, so they didn't have to help with securing the bank for closing.

As I did all this I heard Giselle move about, the soft clops of her metal shoes against the linoleum floor echoing into my ears, to check if all of the computers and lights were off before meeting me in the main lobby, where only a straight line of dim ceiling lights remained permanently on throughout the night.

Without exchanging words we began to head to the door when a nagging feeling tapped me with the notion that there was something I almost forgot to do. I paused, smelling something foul, almost musky, reach my nostrils. Shaking the strange odor away I realized I was garnering a curious look from the mare who was a few steps ahead of me when I realized what it was my brain was trying to tell me. "Hold on, I think I forgot my jacket." I announced.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, but I ignored that and scurried over to the break room.

I navigated my way to the quaintly-sized room that could fit two circular four-person tables and the appropriate number of chairs comfortably enough (then four more chairs than that) and flicked the single light switch upwards so I didn't trip on a chair leg or bump into a table. Once the bulbs flickered to life, I walked with cautious haste to the wall opposite the door where a single long bar used to hang jackets and such was, when I heard the door open behind me. Giselle had followed me, looking as annoyed as ever.

"You find it, already?" She asked in a bored manner, trying to impart her impatience with me to hurry me up.

I couldn't help but frown, not sure what she why she had to follow me from the front. "Find what?" I asked and raised a curious brow.

"Your jacket," Giselle said in a huff. I blinked, wondering what she was talking about. While looking over myself I made sure to gesture plainly that I was already wearing my jacket.

Again, that musky, sour smell attacked my senses, but I was much more concerned by Giselle's strange statement. Why would I even need to grab my jacket when I came back here to see if I signed out for the night?

"Let's just go home already." I said after seeing that I had indeed written down my sign-out time on the notice board, then stepped past the mare to pull the door open. But Giselle moved in front of me, blocking the way.

"I'm not letting you change the subject." She said in a slightly lower voice, her eyes narrowed in an obvious attempt to intimidate me. "Did you already apologize to Raven?"

It was my turn to sigh and I replied, crossing my arms over my chest, "I would have if you got around to giving me her address."

"I'm not just gonna give it to you." She countered. "You have to ask for it."

"Whoa, what? Alright, I've had it up to here with your bullshit, Giselle." I cocked my head, bewildered by that strange sort of logic. "Why are you always like this to me?"

Her eyes narrowed and they looked around before settling onto me, again. "Can't somepony be concerned about their friend?"

I don't even know why I feel the need to walk on eggshells for this mare. "Raven came onto me, you know? Well, I came in her, but..." I stuttered and frowned, confused. "...wait, why did I even say that?"

Expecting that my strange outburst was guaranteed to the world's most embarrassing epitaph, I realized that I was still amongst the world of the living (and non-wheelchair bound) and looked over to the pony.

Did she...blush?

Rubbing my eyes, I began to figure that she was just fuming with rage like before, and my fatigue was finally catching up to me. "Can I...just have her address so I can apologize and get this whole thing straightened out? Please?"

"Fine." Giselle said with a strange pout appearing on her face. She walked over to the desk and ripped off a corner of the sign-in sheet, and with deft maneuvering managed to write something out using the pencil and her mouth. The soft sound of her scrawling stopped and she stepped back, letting me take the paper between my finger and thumb. "It's...it's not like I'm doing this because you asked me to..." The pony added, which I largely ignored as I looked at the slip of paper.

I read what she wrote, then tried to scan the scribbles of pony language, hoping that I wasn't completely fudging up what I had learned. "Doesn't Raven live in Canterlot?"

"Yeah..." She replied in a soft, almost hushed voice. "...that's my address."

"Yours? Why would I nee-" That's when I felt her lips press against mine, and staggered backwards from a heavy weight pushing against me before my brain finally registered what my eyes already saw and body immediately reacted to.

After a few steps back I was pinned against the wall, Giselle pressing her chest onto mine as she stood on her hind legs. Her tongue forced its way into my mouth, wider and stronger than a human's, jutting her muscle without pretense and lavishing licks and strokes along my teeth and own, smaller tongue. Without meaning to, I let out a sharp breath which she seemed to inhale while parting my lips more and more with the use of her expert kissing.

Pulling slightly out, her tongue dipped in a second time, coaxing mine with flickering movements in an effort to entangle the both of us into a deeper kiss. At the very least the complete mental paralysis helped to keep me from reciprocating.

But that didn't stop the mare. Not by a long shot.

Her eyes were closed, in contrast to my own trying to bulge out of their sockets, as though doing their damnedest to escape this absurd situation. Her head turned this way and that, in efforts to find the best angle for our lips to meet, considering the different structure of my mouth and her muzzle. I, on the other hand, did my best impression of a dead fish.

However, the slight trembling that was pure shock on my part seemed to only encourage Giselle to become even more daring. Being every sort of a predator that I as a human supposedly am. Every so often she nibbled on my top lip. Or caressed the points of my canines with her wide tongue. Or cupped my tongue over her wider one and she folded it in, sucking slightly. Repeating the folding and sucking motions and quite nearly made me cum right then and there.

Finally she leaned away, and just as she broke the kiss the mare commanded in a deep, throaty voice, "Lie down on the floor."

Like a coward I complied. My knees were quivering from how tight I locked them to hold myself back from ruining my underwear. At this point I wasn't even sure if I would have been safe by losing consciousness. Nonetheless she stepped back a bit, and watched with stern eyes as I did as she told.

I did my best to adjust myself mid-crouch but still my trousers formed a tent. If she noticed, she didn't make any signal of it while stepping forward to practically straddle me with her forehooves atop my arms, pinning me down unapologetically. I grit my teeth, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of my pain as her cold horseshoes bit onto my arms, now growing numb from her weight pressing down on them.

My heart was practically beating in my throat as I looked up at the mare towering over me. Her eyes looking down at me. I didn't know what sort of excitement I was feeling from that nonchalant look of hers; that usual uncaring stare of hers that suddenly took on a new meaning in this situation. I gulped, gathering what feeble courage I could muster to save the dignity I had left, saying with an unsure smirk, "You expect me to beg?"

"No." Giselle crooned playfully and brought her face closer to mine, contorted into a sneer. "I expect you to cry." Her tongue darted out and brushed against my lips, which were sore and probably flushed a deep red from her kisses and nibbles. Her eyes were cold and calculating, as though she was dealing with a plaything rather than a person. Her hot breath cascaded over my face and I trembled. Quivered. Not from fear. But lust.

Her face remained tantalizingly close to mine, but maddeningly far. Our mutual labored breathing continued, but hers remained calmer despite how heavy it had become. I gulped. And then finally, I caved.

I stretched my neck upwards to meet her lips and kissed her. She bore down on me as the victor and attacked as she had been doing, only this time I fought back. I lightly bit her tongue, causing her to mew and retreat and I took chase into her mouth. Despite giving way to my probing tongue, Giselle remained in reach and turned slightly to allow me better access and a fighting chance; she was taunting me with a handicap as though my acceptance so far meant surrender. On the contrary. With renewed vigor I swirled and licked and slurped her saliva loudly much to her surprise, earning moans and shivers of ecstasy from the otherwise dominant mare.

In fact, her thoughts must have become so distracted from my unforeseen assertiveness that I managed to push her off of me and we rolled over so that she was the one pinned under me. With a feral growl and tried my best to keep my numbed arms holding her forelegs down. Her eyes were wide and blue cheeks tinged with red. That vulnerability, even only for a moment, made me see not a crazy bitch who had threatened and harassed me, bullied me for some bullshit reason as though I've been in the wrong for succumbing to Raven's wiles, but a pony that I would even dare to say was cute.

Still, the horseshoe marks on my arms were painful reminders that she didn't deserve to be let off the hook. I leaned low just as she did moments ago, staying just above her. "I hate you!" I hissed out.

"I hate you too." She replied with cloudy eyes. Even as my nails bit slightly into the supple flesh of her forelegs, Giselle remained calm. Somehow more aroused, even. This time we both smooshed our lips together, hungrily and loudly moaning and lapping each others' drool.

"I...hate you...more..." I said in-between kisses, tasting and swallowing her saliva as much as she was drinking mine.

"Mmmmm, I'm going to...pulverize you!" She snapped back and suddenly nipped at my neck. I twitched predictably from the pleasurable pain and as I did so, Giselle turned us over so that she was on top once again. She then squirmed off of my chest and down to between my legs, deftly unfastening my pants and pulling down my zipper with her teeth. I tried to sit up and watch her, but she pushed me onto my back with her strong forelegs and with an accompanying rip of fabric, tore down my briefs as well as my pants to my ankles.

When I let out a sharp gasp now that I was both literally and emotionally exposed at this point, the smug look of superiority on her face was plain to see even from my compromised position. Despite my ongoing attempts to will it, my penis stood firm from sheer anticipation.

My breath halted midway as she unceremoniously engulfed my full length right from the get-go, slamming the sensitive tip against the back of her throat without so much as a gagging fit. The sloppy wet sounds echoed up into my ears and made me even harder, twitching within her and causing even more sounds to be heard. Her tongue lapped at the underside of my shaft and wriggled about as she continuously swallowed, massaging my dickhead with her throat, making my leg quiver and my spine tingle and burn from the orgasmic pleasure.

Sliding my dick out of the stiflingly hot and moist confines of her mouth, Giselle smacked her lips and licked them of what I presumed was my lingering taste for good measure. She caught my staring and looked me in the eye unflinchingly, giving me a better look of her astoundingly emerald green eyes. Hypnotic and clear, we continued staring at each other even when she leaned close to lap up the dabbles of precum leaking from the tip of my overstimulated dick like a cat to her saucer of milk.

With a throaty groan she then clamored back on top of me, snaking her way onto my waist and flicking her tail back and forth against my inner thighs. Just like a snake, she slithered and writhed her haunches against my groin, gyrating firmly yet sensually, giving me a feel of the intense heat and slick wetness emanating from between her hind legs, matting the bristles of short hair and painting trails of her juices wherever she rubbed herself. Her eyes never once looked away from mine, and her fluttering blinks became an alluring sight as arousal made her cheeks to flush and lips tremble.

My dick grew more erect from the attention still, robbing me the ability to even question why this was happening, and she chuckled at that. Laughed derisively at me at my stupid half-lidded stare and I could only feel shame from remaining aroused. Becoming more so.

Hugging my shaft between her engorged vulva Giselle began to stroke me off, jerking her hips in a rocking motion while using my erection as a tool to grind against her hardened clit. The sensitive underside of my cock dragged against that nub and caused me to twitch and spasm from the frustrating pleasure. Her erratic movements changed on a dime, between fast and slow, but in both speeds the sounds of wet schlicks reached my ears and the sight of her secretions and my leaking pre-cum turning into a white frothy mix as she used my dick to stir against her lower lips stole my breath away.

In fact, the thick, pungent musk that had appeared several times tonight returned in full force. But now I knew why it seemed so familiar. It was the prominent salty odor of sex, constricting itself all around me at this point, seeping into my clothes and tickling some prehistoric caveman portion of my brain, overriding the fact that while what was presently lavishing me with such an erotic display may have been female, it certainly wasn't human. Further obliterating any sense of rationality I thought I had, Giselle leaned close and opened her mouth wide, letting long streams of drool fall between my lips, and I mindlessly relished and earnestly drank down her disgusting spit strings, snapping at them. It was beyond me why I went so far as to roll it around my tongue as though it were a drizzling of syrup before swallowing it deep into my gullet.

She laughed again and I twitched at the sweet, sharp sound of her voice. "Are you going to cum?" Giselle taunted in a husky manner. I panted and nodded, and able to speak lest I simply groan out. She gave a sinister smirk and suddenly stopped. Desperately, I humped to continue the sensation but the pony jabbed at my chest with her hoof, making me stop and cry out in pain and surprise. With a raw, predatory stare, she panted out, "Don't even try to do it on your own. I haven't even gotten off once! In fact, we're going to keep going, and going, and going...until you learn your place!" She slid lower, away from my dickhead, and started to grind herself against my shaft.

It was torture to be in the perpetual near release I was now relegated to. I throbbed in need to finish, my head hurting at this point...

Chapter 4.

Head hurts...ow...head...hurti-

My eyes immediately snapped open, and fighting through the stinging pain of light punching my retinas, I desperately looked around on the strange bed I awoke in. I sighed, relieved, that I was alone on the twin-sized mattress; no fluids beyond my own drool staining the pillow case; a heavy worn-green comforter and matching blanket messily draped over my sprawled, still-dressed form.

My entire body's sore as if I had been sleeping for the past few months. Ugh. I think I had the worst nightmare ever just now. Though I can't exactly remember it. I'm not even sure if that's a good or a bad thing...I'm going to err on the thought that I'm all the better for it, just to be safe.

Just as I grew comfortable with that thought, a sour musk drifted into my nostrils, making me scrunch my nose and cringe at the familiar smell of pure, unfiltered sex.

I both inhaled it deeply and gagged from the way it caught in my throat, as though the salty invisible fumes actually had some form that threatened to suffocate me. I retched on reflex, while not spewing anything just yet. A mix of sudden nausea from my lingering hangover and the unexpected slap to my sense of smell that was currently under assault formed the world's worst morning cocktail. Risking further aggravating my sickness I leaped over to the nearby window and threw it open with previously unknown strength and gasped for the clean, Equestrian air. It was then I chose to vomit a bit of my stomach's contents onto the thankfully bare soil and spent the next minute or so spitting out the foul taste of my saliva until I pretended that it didn't taste rancid anymore.

I then spent the next five or so minutes groaning out that I would never drink again and withdrew into the house, though leaving the window open as I staggered my way to the closed bedroom door.

My head continuing to throb, I reached out to open the door. I never noticed since I've been living and working where mostly humans tended to be, but Equestrian doorknobs are set a fair bit lower than the average person's reach. Almost a child's height, really.

Nevermind the fact that I found it confusing that hoofed creatures would even use doorknobs in the first place. Or maybe I'm just assuming, again. Griffons and dragons had hands, of course. But I can't recall seeing any griffons or dragons strolling about in Neighagara the last couple of weeks I've been here. Not even a minotaur, which apparently exist.

Turning the knob and stepping out, the hallway was quaint. Well worn wooden boards that were interspersed with newer ones lined the floor, as it was easy to tell from their different colorations. The walls were an eggshell white with a crowning at the bottom that matched in color.

Across from the room I slept in was another door that was just left ajar, and it was plain even for a swaying, fatigued, dehydrated guy like me that that was where the noise and smell was coming from. It was a subtle, constant, squeaking noise, like the sound of two kids jumping on their bed, and that image pulled me even more to the curious door.

Schrodinger's infamous cat was surely killed by the poisonous gas when I peeked through the crack and saw just what was going on in this other room.

The first thing I took notice of was a pegasus pony looking away from me, her wings open to their full span. Her slender back arched in the slightest ways, trembling and twisting to keep herself seated as though her body would jump away if she didn't keep her muscles tensed. Those feathered appendages, slender and exotic, seemed unable to even flap in their stiff state.

Next I noticed that a pair of human hands were holding her sides firmly, lifting her body up and then pulling it downward, giving me the impression that the pony was simply being bounced off of a spring.

Loud fleshy slaps intermingled with squelches and pants and moans.

Well, where there's smoke, right?

Despite the sheer discomfort it caused me both mentally and physically, like some creep I watched through the gap in the door as the pegasus pony rocked back and forth, moaning and breathing heavily, nickering, even.

I shuddered at some recent memory tucked into the folds of my brain. Was this what it was like with Raven? I sure as hell never fucked any other pony.

My heart was beating hard and fast and my...well, uh, y'know...was also...hard.

They sped up, bed creaking and the both of them moaning. Not sure if it was my imagination but I could've sworn that the smell emanating doubled in thickness and I had to look away to catch a breath before surreptitiously looking back in.

Finally, they stopped. Only heavy breath and utterances of contentment were exchanged between them.

I waited a bit to...soften, before rapping my knuckles against the door.

Peeking into the room, I see that a window's been open, probably to air out the stink. I'd reckon that strategy isn't really working, but it's too embarrassing for me to mention. "Hey...uh, you guys in there?"

"Oh...hey Matt, you're up?" I heard Sam call out.

Taking that as my cue to enter, I pushed my way and opened the door and immediately reeled back. "Yeah. So are you." I said, trying my best to avert my eyes.

At some point the pony had left the bed and it was just Sam on the mattress. He quickly glanced down and then casually adjusted himself so that the tent disappeared from sight; his leg thankfully propped up so the cascade of blanket covering his body below the waist did not "show" all of his form.

"Hmmm? Oh! Morning, Matt." Sam's pegasus, uh...wife greeted me with a smile, peeking her head out from what I guessed was the connected bathroom.

"Hey." I returned with a polite smile and nod of my head, hoping that that much of an acknowledgement would keep me from having to embarrass myself. Her name was...Sunburst? No, that doesn't sound right.

"You want to hang around for breakfast?" She asked plainly.

Who am I to turn down politeness? "Um...sure," I replied.

"Great. I'll get started after cleaning up. Excuse me, boys." The pegasus said as she disappeared once more into the ensuite, closing the door behind her this time.

Wrapping his waist with the bed sheets, Sam propped his head on his hand. He sent me a smug look and casually mentioned, "Yeah. I'm tapping that."

I really don't know what I could say to that.

A traveling bag slung over his shoulder, the bald-headed human was searching through his pockets to find his ID and chariot ticket for the Equestria-Earth portal. His hands patted around until a certain pegasus strolled over with those very items after picking them up from a nearby side table. Sam let out a scoff in response to the knowing look on her face and gently took the ticket and plastic-covered ID card from his wife's mouth. "'ll see you when I get back, babe." He said, trying his best not to laugh.

"Alright, take care." She replied with a heartfelt smile. After exchanging a quick Eskimo kiss with the pony, Sam waved me off and headed out the door.

"Come on Matt, I'm starving!" As the mare led the way I just barely managed not to quip that "morning exercise" works up an appetite. I pretty much chewed on my tongue to remain quiet, finding myself seated at the quaintly-sized table as my hostess got right to work with making breakfast.

"You want pancakes or waffles?" She asked, looking over her shoulder to me.

"Pancakes are fine, thanks."

"Stack of dough, comin' up!" She cheerily announced, as though it was something she always wanted to say.

"What are waffles, then?" I asked, curious.

"Hash tags." She said in all seriousness, making her way around the kitchen to grab a number of things.

She lit the gas stove and set down a pan, then made her way to the first fridge I've seen since arriving in Equestria to retrieve a clear plastic jug with what I can only describe as "yellowish goop" inside it. Just barely noting the various vegetables and brand name items in the fridge before the door closed, my eyes focused on the jug as she trotted over to pour what turned out to be the pancake mix. My nose definitely didn't lie when the goop started to sizzle and the smell of sweet dough filled the kitchen.

I took the moment to look around the nicely-sized house as she continued to cook and scrounge around for various other items, like a waffle iron and what sounded like silverware. The hallway where the guest and master bedroom were was in plain view, and it was at this point that I recognized from the door being slightly ajar that at the very end of the hallway was a bathroom. The wooden floor was covered by various rugs closer by the couch and coffee table just a few steps away from the dining room on the west-facing portion of the house. The dining table where I was remained just a scotch to the left of the front entrance, blocking a straightaway path into the kitchen where my pegasus host was continuing to cook and now humming while she did so.

I turned back toward the table just as Sam's wife placed a plate for me. My stomach had been grumbling from the smell but had now growled when my eyes took in the golden brown stacks that steamed from being fresh off the pan. A glass syrup dispenser, a jar of powdered sugar and a stack of napkins could also be found on the table just as I took hold of a taller stack of waffles on the plate opposite of mine.

Seeing her approach me I reached out to take the "I ❤ Seaddle" mug that she held by the handle with her mouth. The sides were toasty but not scolding hot when I set in on the table before me.

"Thanks." Sam's wife said and then hopped onto her chair without even needing to unfurl her wings for balance and took a seat. Without premise, the pegasus mare started the conversation while shaking some powdered sugar onto her waffles, holding the jar between her hooves. I was a somewhat caught in amazement, watching her easily manipulate the fork and knife before her to take a few bites of her food when she said, "Alright, so talk to me."

I may be dense, but it didn't take me long to realize what she meant by that. "I don't want to seem rude, but..." I began quietly, taking the time to breathe through the flashes of pain that roiled inside my skull from my hangover. I cradled the toasty-warm mug in my hands, smelling the freshly cooked grounds intermingle with the pancake's odor. "I'd rather not air out my problems any more than I need to."

She looked at me without saying anything for a short moment, maybe a couple of seconds, before cracking a smile that belied her attempt to keep from laughing. Without placing her fork down she asked, "You...you think that I'm the gabby one?" Her amused tone was far from grating, surprisingly enough, and instead it made me a bit self conscious as to whether I was blushing or not.

Maybe it's because I didn't think she would try to hit on me at some point? There was a sort of comfortable feel, though it was unlike hanging out with Sam and Lucky last night. Sort of as though I was talking with a pony Oprah. "Kinda..."

She hummed and chuckled, musing still how to continue as though she was finding my paranoia adorable. "Tell me, Matt. How is it that you know about Raven's ex in the first place?"

I gulped but answered as honestly and tactfully as I could. "Well, first Giselle got righteously angry at me, and then last night Sa-...ohhhhh..."

It clicked.

It all clicked now, what Becky had told me. Her voice, as ambivalent as I've become in remembering it, echoed what she said the day we met.

The pony chuckled again and poured some more coffee into my mug. "You wouldn't believe how many secrets leaked out because of those two. Giselle, who's really blunt by nature, and Sam, because he gossips more than a bored housewife. I swear, he learned a bit too much from my dad." Sunbeam exhaled slowly while wearing a somber smile. "So your secrets are safe with me, Matt. Promise." She motioned her hooves as though to take off an imaginary cap in one while raising the other to display her still-horseshoeless hoof. "Scout's honor."

That's a thing here, too? I really oughta stop being surprised by that.

Comforted by her assurance, I decided to go for broke. Taking a breath to ready myself, I thought for a moment where to begin. "Uh, let's see...I slept with Raven. Thinking that she was Becky. Becky was apparently the mastermind and I don't know how involved Raven is. Giselle hates my guts now, and wants me to apparently find Raven because she won't tell me where she lives to apologize to her. And I'm becoming less and less inclined to do that the more I think about it."

I would have gone on, unleashing my thoughts on the matter now that this sort-of therapy session opened the spigot, so to speak, but a flash of recognition appeared in the mare's eyes and her brows furrowed for a moment. "Oh dear...this is almost like with Mary-Anne..."

Mary-Anne? Where have I heard that name before...?

She caught the curiosity growing in my eyes and cleared her throat before speaking. "I won't tell you, so don't ask."

"I guess you really are good at keeping secrets," I said with a chuckle. After sipping on my already-cooling coffee, despite the warmth of the mug, I added, "Did I mention that Giselle's threatened to stomp on my balls?"

She smirked when she heard that. "Hon, if you knew how easily that mare gets riled up you'd realize that's almost a term of endearment. Almost. I'll talk to her for you."

"I'm still afraid for the health of my balls."

"Huh." She blinked and took on a reminiscing look. "Y'know, that's almost word-for-word what Sam said to me once when Lucky found out we were dating."

"Speaking of, I heard you fought Lucky from Sam last night."

"I kicked Lucky's ass, is what happened." She declared with a neutral expression in her eyes but an unmistakably sly grin.

I nodded with a smile and finished up my breakfast in earnest. Sam's wife is alright. I took a sip of my coffee and felt a tingle rush up my spine. Damn she makes a damn good cup of joe.

"Thank you." She gleefully said from just seeing my reaction. We spent the next few moments eating and chatting on much lighter subjects when there was a knocking at the door.

We both glanced toward the window and I spotted a dark skinned man outside wave toward us. "Hey, Jef! Come in!" Sam's wife said in recognition as she looked back over her shoulder, inviting the familiar face and he obliged by opening the apparently unlocked front door.

"Hey Sunbeam." Jef said in greeting as he entered.

Sunbeam! That's her name!

The dark skinned man smiled as he approached the still-seated Sunbeam and they quickly hugged. Standing tall once more, he looked over and noticed me sitting at the table. "Hey, Matt. Been a while."

I wordlessly waved, focusing more on chewing my food.

"You're not cheating on Sam, are you, Sunbeam?" Jef joked, turning toward the mare.

"What's to say that I'm not cheating on Sam, huh?" Sunbeam teased, winking in my direction.

I subconsciously scooted my chair backwards.

"You? Cheat on Sam? Hah!" Jef lightly scoffed, earning laugh from the pony. It was a bit more until we finished with breakfast, after Sunbeam insisted that Jef join us. She went as far as offering a few of her waffles and poured out another mug of coffee. They chatted, mostly about things I didn't pay attention to. Pony fashion, Equestrian politics, celebrity gossip. Jef was strangely in tune and even a bit too engaged talking about a prince Shining Armor and his wife, or some such.

After clearing the table, against Sunbeam's behest that we leave it to her, Jef, Sunbeam and I were standing around the opened front door. I wasn't really paying attention as Jef and Sunbeam started to talk about gossip once more, this time about rumors that the captain of the Wonderbolts - Equestria's stunt flying team - had a human boyfriend, or some such. I wasn't entirely paying attention to what they were saying as much as the clock on the far wall, just atop the couch, which said that it was nearly a quarter after seven.

"Hey, I've got an idea." Sunbeam's voice rang out, stealing my attention away from the clock. "Why don't you get some fresh air with Jef, huh? It'll do wonders for your hangover.

"Oh, so you're kicking me out, then?" Jef playfully accused, planting his hands on his hips.

"Yes." Sunbeam replied with a smug look.

"Touché." I couldn't help but comment over her wittiness, managing to crack a smile.

"Et toi, aussi." Sunbeam answered in a perfect accent.

Taken off guard I arched my eyebrows, impressed. "...you speak french?"

"Sam's tongue is good for more than just sloppy kisses, y'know."

"I will buy you anything if you never put that sort of image into my head, again." I quickly replied.

"Heh. It's a date, then." Sunbeam laughed in reply, waving her hoof daintily to the two of us and closed the door.

Jef and I began to walk and exchanged the usual sort of pleasantries. What we each have been up to, if we've heard about the happenings on Earth, news of the human delegation to the Griffon kingdom...boring sorts of things. Thankfully we avoided the topic of the weather, and it wasn't like we had access to television here. I was never much for most shows though I kept a with one or two network series on the weekends.

Soon enough a thunderous roar called my attention and I realized where our wandering had us ending up.

With the help of a light breeze, I walked through a light shroud of mist that sparkled in the summer sun's rays. Thinking about it, it's been about a month since I first came here, and I've only now gotten around to seeing the town's eponymous falls for myself. Several hundreds of feet away from where we were, I could see the base of coursing water crashing down with a great magnitude of force.

The falls were comprised of several levels (four, I think?) that cascaded from the nearby mountain. The sheer expanse of the falls was pretty extraordinary, like an ever-cascading flow being pushed out and over the edge of a giant's bathtub. Considering the magical nature of Equestria, I was sort of holding out hopes to see something epic like that. Though the more rational side of me knew I'd be completely freaked out if that came into being.

I mean, I was still coming to grips that unicorns and pegasi existed, after all. Not to mention that the weather was literally controlled by said pegasi, and unicorns themselves were capable of spells aplenty beyond just floating things about. Elemental spells that every daydream-prone kid and adult would love to have. There are enough of those types that would love to head over into Equestria back on earth to overpopulate every pony town, village, and city, but the back-and-forth flow of people and Equestrians is still tightly controlled. Makes me wonder what things would be like if those controls were ever loosened up even a tiny bit more.

And then there were people like Jef and Sam. It had only been a few years since the portal opened up, but people like them had already acclimated to the idea of talking ponies and magic. Of interspecies marriage and relationships, no less.

Humanity's ability to adapt aside, there were several questions stewing around in my head. One in particular was strong enough despite the now-receding hangover to ask, "I need to know...where do you get all of those magic Viagras, anyway?"

Jef continued to look ahead at the falls. "My job." He said vaguely, not stopping to ask how I knew what Boosters were.

"Which is?"

Continuing his series of vague replies Jef said, "A Gentleman never kisses and tells."

I refrained from clicking my tongue, but my exasperation escaped into my tone when I prodded for a better answer. "Well fine, I'll ask someone who'll answer me straight, then."

"I just said it. I'm a Gentleman." He looked at me in surprise at my foul demeanor. He turned to look at me, asking, "Are you alright, Matt?"

I had thought that he was going for some sort of "Who's on first" schtick but apparently not. "Excuse me if my hangover is making me a bit dense this fine morning." I said, a bit embarrassed.

"Well, in the plainest way possible, I comfort mares."

It took me a moment to compute that, hangover notwithstanding. The fancy duds, the suave demeanor, and the apparent ease with conversation all finally meshed into a solid picture. "So...you're a gigolo, then."

Looking like he was about to protest my interpretation, Jef shrugged while creasing his brow. "In a manner of speaking, yeah." I could sense he wanted to say more, but he refrained from doing so. Maybe he was wary about how I would react and began being more careful with his responses.

"You must have been a lot more trashed than I thought you were." He said with a heavy exhale, then looked to me for confirmation.

I said the first thing that popped into my head. "It's because of that crazy mix of alcohol and magic Viagra you made me do."

"No dude, you were pretty straight when we did the shots. You don't remember the rounds you kept buying yourself?" He finally stopped walking, prompting me to do the same. "Or that I got you water and asked you to settle down? You and Raven disappeared on us and Becky told me not to worry...did something serious happen?"

"She didn't tell you?" I wondered aloud, trying to figure out who knew and how didn't.

"No, I haven't seen her since that night." Jef explained, then added, "Same with Raven and she usually visits every week. Did something happen?"

"You mean me and...yeah...we did."

"No, besides that. After that." He probed for more, trying to read my reaction as I tried think of a sterilized response. I gulped, seeing the look of concern in his eyes even as he took on an otherwise perfect stone-cold poker face. I looked everywhere else but toward him, searching for a way to answer, or change the subject. I noticed that the crowds had gotten a lot bigger around us since we first headed out, and I was surprised to see so many unfamiliar faces.

While ponies in general all looked similar to me, there were quite a number of townsfolk that seemed recognizable on my daily trips to work or to shop for groceries.

He also noticed the crowds. "...it looks to be tourist season once again." Jef observed, thankfully changing the subject for me. He stepped closer next to me, but kept a polite bubble of space between us. He sighed in his pause before continuing. "When everyone's given a great welcome as though all of us townsfolk work in a resort."

"Tourist season?" I had to ask, wanting some clarification.

"It's when a lot of ponies and non-ponies come up to the falls for the longer days and enjoy the sights. There's a few popular places to swim here, y'know? So the local businesses tend to start hiring women dressed in bikinis as eye candy. Ponies too, of course."

"Yeah," I said with a nod, a foggy memory suddenly clearing in my mind. "I remember reading about it in the Guide."

A group of two women and three ponies passed us by, laughing and talking amongst ourselves. One of the mares - the unicorn of the group - had dolphins as a part of her cutie mark.

"Lots of zebras and griffons show up. I even met a minotaur, once." Jef continued regaling me with his everyday life. "If you think Crash was packed when you went that night, you ain't seen nothing until tourist season."

"They all talk, right?" I asked in an effort to change the subject, though I needed only to hear myself say those words aloud to realize how dumb I must've sounded. Luckily for me, Jef simply smirked and decided not to rib me for it.

"Yeah, they do. In general, animals from our world with cloven feet are a lot smarter and talk over here. Exception being dragons and griffons, of course. Though I still end up being surprised every now and then."

"Huh." It's a bit weird trying to figure out a formula for what's supposed to be "smart" and what isn't. Pretty befuddling, really.

He noticed my face contorting from the hardcore dialectics occurring in my mind and said with a chuckle, "Yeah. Equestria's a magical place, alright."

"You could say that again." I deadpanned and sighed.

"Excuse me!" Someone called out. Out of habit I craned by neck and turned my attention to wherever I though the voice came from, and spotted that group of girls from before approaching some bikini-clad greeters just as Jef had mentioned. “Hi, I was wondering if you knew...” the blue-coated pony began to ask while Jef and I remained standing in the ever-waning shade of an Equestrian-style house.

Finally, Jef returned to the topic at hand. "Listen, Matt. It may not seem my place to prod, but...Raven's a friend. And I want to think of you as my friend, too. A big part of my job is helping my clients deal with the shit they go through everyday, with a night when everything's about them. Nothing's forced and sometimes they open up to me and sometimes they don't. It's not my business to pry into traumatic pasts like I'm some sort of shrink, but I am a good listener. So I hope that when you're comfortable in telling me what happened, that you'll do so. But more importantly, I wish you all the luck and hope that you're able to deal with the aftermath head on. And that I'll have your back if you plan on making good on whatever the problem is. As trashed as you were I could tell that you're a smart dude."

I glanced at Jef, feeling relieved at hearing that. It was sort of different from the way I felt talking with Sam and Lucky, and with Sunbeam. Or it could simply be that the guy was scary good at knowing just what to say. But I think he was being genuine. "Thanks." I said, nodding my head. Looking forward once more, my mind felt a bit less nauseated as the fresh air seemed to play its part in making me feel much better than I had when I first woke up this morning.

After hours of staring at the clock while occasionally being interrupted by a customer, my shift was finally over. The sun had already set outside and now the few of us working this late into the night prepared to close up.

Earlier today Mrs. Plumcake had to leave because her son was caught up in some fight at school, which meant she had to meet with the teacher, but by closing time she already got back. She was scheduled as the Manager On Duty, after all. Apparently though, it wasn't that out of the question for her to be too busy to come back for closing.

While she was in her office doing whatever it was managers did, it was just me and Giselle up front at our respective teller booths. Jayson and Lauren managed to sneak away while Mrs. Plumcake was dealing with the situation at her son's school (those lucky bastards) but it seemed to have happened enough that nothing was really done about it.

Once the clock struck at the bank's closing time, I made sure to lock the front doors then returned to the remaining teller's booths, taking the cash boxes to the back and securing them in the proper areas after counting and noting what we had left.

Hmm. Why did this all seem familiar?

In any case, since the floors were kept immaculate and the counters were quite well dusted already, my chores at this point weren't really that arduous. That was when Mrs. Plumcake showed up, trotting happily despite the long day she probably had. Along with the clip clop of her hooves the set of keys she had jangled with every step. "Thank you for your help as always, you two," she told us. "If you could do me a favor, I need to hurry on home an-"

"Not a problem, Mrs. Plumcake," I said with a smile, seeing the universal distress of a caring mother before me.

At some point Giselle had appeared next to me. "Yeah. You go on ahead." She offered with polite understanding. In practically a flash, Mrs. Plumcake gave the other pony the bank keys and hurried on home.

After shutting off the lights and locking all the doors, we stepped out of the bank and despite it being summertime, it was chilly enough outside to warrant stuffing my hands into my pockets. Along with the balmy breeze was the tickling moisture in the air that reminded me of the eponymous falls that I had only visited today.

A growled out "Here you go" was all I heard from behind me before feeling something press against my hand. I glanced down to see Giselle's face brushing up against my palm and I freaked out, letting out a girly squeak while jumping forward. Giselle nickered in surprise and jumped back, dropping the folded sheet of paper she had between her teeth. The note fluttered to the ground, landing between us.

"What's this?" I asked with some caution, inspecting my hand and looking for teeth marks.

"Raven's address, you dumbass." She said, making her irritation with me plain in her tone. Giselle quickly composed herself, adjusting the straps of her saddlebag resting on her withers. "Since you've been dragging your feet to ask me for where Raven lives."

I blinked then looking down for a good few seconds I picked up the note. "Uh, thanks...why are you giving me this? I thought you hated me."

"Are you some kind of idiot?" She asked with an arched brow. "Of course I still hate you. But I care about Raven's feelings more than I hate you. She deserves that apology."

"Even though alcohol was involved?"

She rolled her eyes at me and sighed, making it obvious that she wanted to talk me down like usual but held back despite that. "...the long and short of it is that we see relationships a lot different than you humans do. Ponies, I mean. You've got all your taboos and yadda yadda, I know...got the cultural tolerance seminar and junk. I've been thinking. You're either too stupid to be a prude or you're a complete freak since you're still here in Equestria.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? I'm as normal as the next guy."

She smirked and sent me a knowing look, as though sure that it would shut me up. "There was a girl before you showed up, Mar-"

"You know what," I interrupted, amazed by how unfiltered her mind seemed to be. "Don't tell me about someone else's problems."

"...suit yourself." She shrugged and began to walk away. "About that whole balls crushing thing, I didn't really mean that. I forget sometimes how much weaker you are. But I still hate you, by the way."

She left without a further word, merely a scoff loud enough for me to hear as her hooves clacked against the cobblestone street.

"Hey, Giselle." I called out. She stopped and looked over her shoulder to me and I gave a smug smile. As smug as I possibly could make it. "I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart...I hate you too. With all of my hate."

She rolled her eyes and walked away, shaking her head. "Weirdo."

Author's Notes:

Here's a thing.