She was lost again. Lost in those deep, green eyes. She felt as if she were afloat on a vast green ocean, the warm sunlight glinting off the waves. Her environment faded from view; only these two brilliant pools of light remained. They gazed back at her with warmth and compassion. And … determination.

Determination?

That thought jolted her from her trance. She felt momentarily like she was plummeting, and instinctively unfurled her wings to compensate. But she’d never left the ground. Waking from her stupor, she realized with a knot in the pit of her stomach that her gaze had lasted far too long; surely Applejack was suspicious. She looked at her hooves, and gently kicked the loose dirt from the well-packed road.

“Ha! Ah won! Y’see, Ah can beat you at anythin’!” Applejack exclaimed. Her jovial demeanor didn’t fail to lift Rainbow Dash’s spirits, but her words left only a confused expression. “Well, anything but flyin’, of course.”

Rainbow frantically tried to recover the situation, her eyes darting from tree to tree, to the distinct line separating those conspicuously free of apples from those still carrying their crop. Her heart still racing, she tried to understand what had been won. After what felt like an eternity of mad thought, but was of course only several seconds in reality, she stopped, realizing she would have to say something.

“... won?”

“Oh. Darn. Ah thought we were havin’ a staring contest, seein’ as how y’all were lookin’ at–”

“Oh yeah! Well, I guess you got me on staring, AJ, but I can still beat you nine times out of ten!”

“Whew,” Rainbow thought, “she doesn’t think I …” She couldn’t even admit it to herself.

With a flick of the tail and a leap into the air, Rainbow Dash was gone, leaving behind a brilliant rainbow trail. A very careful observer may have also noticed a thin streak of moisture flanking the rainbow on both sides, Rainbow’s nearly-suppressed tears. Luckily, Applejack was not such a careful observer.

“Heheh, that Rainbow sure can be a strange one.” Applejack said to the empty air, while continuing her trot into town.

Dash flew, faster than she usually flew on a lazy afternoon. She hoped she could fly faster than her emotions, somehow escaping what she’d felt. The fact that she was flying over an orchard of apple trees, each one a testament to Applejack’s hard work and diligence, not to mention a symbol emblazened on Applejack’s flank, made that escape more difficult than usual. “Why do I keep doing that?” Rainbow thought, trying to push the inevitable conclusion from her mind. “Why can’t I stop looking at her? Why can’t I stop … staring at her? Why can’t I get her out of my mind?! Why can’t I look away from those beautiful eyes?” She bit her lip, as if that would stop the onslaught of her mind. She had had this conversation with herself hundreds of times, and each time she’d come to the same, inevitable conclusion, but each time she nonetheless started it afresh. “I can’t … I can’t lo–” She bit harder. “I can’t like her … like that … she’s a mare …”

Although her fast flying had taken her from Applejack’s farm, and hence from the reminder all around her, she was by now too lost in her thoughts to stop them. She flew at the edge of the Everfree Forest, towards nowhere in particular. She couldn’t keep her tears in; they washed over her neck and mane, forming a light mist wherever she flew.

“No!” she screamed in her mind. “I can’t love her!” This was the point in this well-rehearsed conversation where she gave up on comfortable euphemisms. “I just … I can’t.”

“But I do. I do love her.”

She thumped down unceremoniously on a tree branch overlooking the winding path to Zecora’s hut.

“And … I wish she could love me too.”

She did a quick inspection. She was well covered from above, no other pegasi would see her.

“But I could never tell her.”

This path wasn’t often used, so she wasn’t likely to get company from below.

“If I told her … I could lose her.”

The trees were thick and wild on either side.

“OK,” she thought, pushing her mind to change the subject, “I can nap here.”

Even that was a lie.

She lay there, body strewn haphazardly over the branch, and she cried. Somehow she kept quiet, but she couldn’t stop the tears. The image of Applejack’s eyes were seared into her memory, but unlike her last encounter, this image only brought her fear. And misery.

“This isn’t right, Rainbow. You’re braver than this. You’re the bravest pony in all of Ponyville! You’re the bravest Pony in all of Equestria! You can face this like any other challenge!” Her mind’s lies did little to help.

So, she still lay there. And she still cried. And she continued to cry until there were no more tears in her. Then she stared at the simple dirt path below, hoping she could somehow fill her mind with this trivial detail of life, forcing out the thoughts that made her fret so.

“HIYA Dashie, funny seeing you here!”

Rainbow was startled but kept her precarious balance. Why, of all ponies, would Pinkie Pie have to be the one to find her here like this?

Pinkie let out an exaggerated gasp. “Dashie, you look sad!” Rainbow couldn’t determine if the concern in the ever-joyful earth pony’s voice was genuine or not. “You shouldn’t be sad, that’s like … that’s like me being sad!”

This comparison almost got a chuckle from Rainbow Dash’s lips. Almost.

“What’s wrong?”

The enormous grin Pinkie wore wouldn’t fit the question for any other pony. But somehow with Pinkie it did. Rainbow was in no mood to talk, though, so she simply shifted her position, hoping Pinkie would leave.

“Oooh! A guessing game! I LOVE guessing games! Lemme think, hmmmm …”

Pinkie hopped about, raising dust that seemed never to cling to her bright, pink fur, and not even pretending like she was actually thinking.

“Did your favorite napping cloud float away so you had to sleep here?”

That one actually succeeded in getting a small smile on Rainbow’s lips. Pinkie was ecstatic; she was determined to improve her friend’s mood.

“No.” Rainbow replied, momentarily too lost in the absurd moment to remember her troubles.

“Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiid you try the Sonic Rainboom again?”

Rainbow’s smile vanished as fast as it had arrived. She hadn’t even had the courtesy to add “and fail.” She just implied it.

Still, the guess was wrong. “No.” The blue pegasus’ tone was sour.

Pinkie didn’t seem to take notice of the changing mood, as her expression morphed to a facade of intense investigation. She walked around Rainbow’s precarious perch, looking at her from every angle, as if her troubles would be conveniently painted on her flank.

Rainbow just wished her enthusiastic friend would leave.

Another exaggerated gasp.

“Oooooh, I know! I knooooow! You’ve fallen madly in love with Applejack and you’re afraid to tell her!”

Rainbow’s body turned stiff. Her mind raced. She fell from her tree, landing on the soft earth with a solid, but not damaging, thud. “Am I really that obvious?” her mind screamed. “Does everypony know?! Can they all just read me like a book?”

“Does Applejack know?”

As Rainbow’s thoughts spun in her nearly-motionless body, Pinkie hopped jubilantly in a circle around her.

“I’m right! I’m riiiiiiiiiiiiiight! This is why I love guessing games!”

Rainbow hyperventilated. She felt suddenly more like Fluttershy than herself. She pulled herself into the fetal position, burying her head in her hooves, as if she could simply squeeze away from the world and be free of this feeling. Her body trembled in fear and shame. This moment was more terrifying than any stunt she had ever performed. It was more terrifying than being face to face with Nightmare Moon.

Her head spinning, she pushed herself to form a coherent plea.

“P–please don’t hate me, Pinkie.” she wimpered.

Even in her addled state, she realized immediately how ridiculous that request had been. Was Pinkie Pie even capable of hate?

Pinkie just laughed gleefully, still dancing as merrily as if she was at one of her parties, and not choking out a confession of her friend’s deepest secret.

Rainbow felt trapped, like Pinkie was an oddly-upbeat spider ensnaring its prey. With much willpower, she managed to squeak out the more important imploration.

“Please don’t tell anypony. Please don’t tell Applejack!”

Pinkie stopped in her tracks. She leaned close to Rainbow’s ear and said in an uncharacteristically soft, compassionate voice, “I would never tell your secret, Dashie. Never.”

Rainbow Dash was surprised at how much this simple promise relieved her. She calmed slightly, and raised her head to meet that strange pink party pony’s gaze. In that moment, Pinkie was no longer the unpredictable force of nature she usually seemed. She was this pegasus’ best and most trusted friend.

“Oh!” Pinkie chirped, jumping back to the path as if the entire altercation had never occurred. “I’m supposed to be going to Zecora! Seeya later, Dashie!” And with that, she was hopping merrily down the path once again.

Rainbow let out a deep sigh. Maybe things weren’t quite as bad as she thought. Realizing how tired she had suddenly become, she decided this quiet spot outside the Everfree Forest was as good a place as any, and drifted into a troubled sleep.