A/N: The format of this whimsical, nonsensical, [arguably poorly written] tale is about to change! Many readers may be familiar to the 'choose-your-own-adventure' format of storytelling, wherein a scenario is presented to the reader, and depending on the reader's responses at situationally appropriate choice events, the story can progress in one of a great number of ways. I'm going to give this a shot, because I have a fetish for these stories.

Let's give this a shot, shall we? I'll calculate votes for a specific choice, and progress the story based on the option with the highest number of votes. If, however, you all happen to hate this style of storytelling and/or don't want to be bothered with it, I'd be happy to revert to the classic second-person narrative format - just let me know in the comments!

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“Oh...oh, dear...” Twilight says, her voice trailing off similarly to that of Fluttershy's. You comically fail to roll over and get to your hooves, cursing like a sailor pony.

“-ing asshat!” You finish, back to square one. Pinkie Pie apologetically giggles.

“That's not how you stand up, you silly filly!” She says, offering her sage advice.

“Oh dear Christ no-” You suddenly panic, checking your newly equine body for the first time. Then, you frown. Are you a colt...or a filly?

A. Colt
B. Filly
C. LOLIDK, LEAVE IT ANDROGYNOUS OR SOME SHIT

Five

Oh, of course! You're a colt! ...wait a tic...

Some internal part of you shivers, but you decide to shrug it off. So. You're a dude, bro. Bro. Heh. Bro. Pony.

Ok, get it together.

“Twilight,” You begin in a surprisingly calm, saccharine tone, “...what exactly just happened?”

“...uh...well, you seeeeeee~...-” Twilight responds, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. “I maaayyyy have accidentally miscalculated in my channeling of your dimension's archaic energies, thus causing a bit of a blowback...”

“...a bit.” You numbly affirm, still firmly in the grasp of the shock of the situation.

“But don't worry!” Twilight suddenly says, holding her hooves out in defence. “I have a solution for this! Really, this time! I promise I won't turn you into a-”

“-Twilight, darling, I'm not entirely certain I want my brain to be processing what could have lurked at the end of that sentence at present,” You cheerily interject. You sigh, mentally taking yourself down a peg. “Look, let's just relax for a moment, okay? I'm not sure I want you attempting obscenely complex spells on me in the immediate future, and besides...hell, I've always kinda wanted to do this, to be frank.”

“Do what?” Twilight asks, her curiosity once more kicking in.

“Well...be a pony, that's what! Besides, I'm sure a fellow equine such as myself is slightly less upsetting than a strange, otherworldly hairless talking ape with fingers, am I right?”

Silently, Twilight nods. You see her visibly relax.

Slowly, you fumble around with your new limbs for a bit and figure out how to at least stand on your own four hooves.

Hooves. Heh.

You trot over to the mirror you know that lay buried beneath your dirty laundry, reaching out with your forelegs to clear the proverbial rubble.

You feel your brain melt a little bit. Your left eyelid twitches.

“...Twilight, why am I...pink?” You ask in a flat tone as you feel your higher thought processes go on holiday at the same time.

“...oh...t-that...well, y'see...you're still 'cooking', as it were.”

“...cooking.”

“Right! Since your body is newly formed, you have a brief window in time in which to choose what specific sort of pony you want to be! It's a...well, a side-effect of the spell I accidentally cast on you.”

As if on queue, your eyes drift over your body to see the faint, arcane glow of raw magical energies encompassing your torso and head.

“...what.”

Are you a:

A: Unicorn
B. Pegasus
C. Earth Pony