Celestia had never truly gone through The Forgemaster's memories as diligently as she probably should have. When she had first received them, she had skimmed them. She got a general idea of the character of The Forgemaster, but no true understanding of what he was capable of. She had gotten a general idea, but was too busy to look deeper. Recently, she had been trying to rectify that seeming error. She decided to take a whole day off from running her country, leaving it to Luna so all of Equestria wouldn't burn for a day, and just sit down and go through his memories.

At the moment, she was watching him, for lack of a better word, explain himself and his actions to another human. They appeared to be fairly close, considering The Forgemaster candor.

The Forgemaster was saying, "I always tried to be an unsung hero, work in the shadows to serve the light. You know, guide my fellow man without their knowing. Do all the good things and let others get the credit. It isn't healthy for a society to have someone to rely on for everything. If they knew that I would always keep them from disaster, they would become weak, useless, and stagnant, so, here and there; I let things slip through the cracks. A war here, a famine there, all to benefit them in the long run, I will not coddle my people. For if it weren't for adversity, the people would flounder if I ever left them."

The other man replied, shaking his head, "You really do plan for every possibility, don't you?"

With a grin, The Forgemaster replied, "One does not live as long as I have without learning a few things. That was one of my first lessons, thankfully, and it has served me well. Traitors are amazed when their schemes against me fail, they think, 'how did he know?' and 'who told him?' when in reality I didn't know, I merely planned on it."

The other man raised a brow, "You planned on someone being a traitor?"

"I plan on everything. Sometimes I occupy my thoughts with what I would do if the sun weren't to rise on the morrow, but it always does." The Forgemaster mused.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, before the unknown man asked, "Have you planned on myself being a traitor?"

The Forgemaster barked out a laugh, "Oh, yes. Don't hold it against me, though. It is merely in my nature…"

'Hmm, interesting…' Celestia thought.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster, Broken Bulb, and Shattered Globe were walking down a path that took them towards Equestria. They were still deep in griffon territory, but they were out of their disguises. After all, it wasn't a pony and a human that crashed a military meeting; it was a pair of griffon sergeants. Due to the pony's inability to fly or teleport, as well as The Forgemaster's inability to leave any one behind for any reason because of a stint with a group he called 'the baddest motherfuckers alive, hoorah', the pace home was relatively slow-going. Naturally, as males, regardless of species, are wont to do when bored, conversations of a sexual variety sprung up. According to Shattered Globe, Broken Bulb was cowering someplace deep in their psyche. He really wasn't exaggerating when he had said that Broken Bulb was afraid of any contact with a female, in fact, he undersold it quite a bit. He undersold it so much as to neglect to mention that any sexual talk at all basically paralyzes Broken Bulb.

"I still don't get you ponies…" The Forgemaster began.

"What do yah mean?" Broken Bulb asked.

"All your sex jokes have something about a mare and their tail twitching to the side. It's incomprehensible."

"Good going, Bulb's cowering in the deepest parts of our mind now, you bastard." Shattered Globe said.

"Hehe, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's fine. That means I have exactly 3 hours and 47 minutes, exactly, for him to bother me again once we end this conversation." Shattered Globe happily replied.

"So… about the tails thing?"

"Wow, you really are a different species." Shattered Globe mumbled to himself, "Well, anyways, when a mare is feeling sexually stimulated or aroused, her tail will start to twitch. It's the only indicator that is common in all 3 types of ponies, so that's why they're in the most common sex jokes. Of course, pegasi have their wing stiffening and unicorns have some shiny magical, for lack of a better word, discharge coming from their horn. The tail twitches to the side to allow for the stallion to have better, erm, access."

The Forgemaster shook his head and whispered to himself, "Why does Celestia seem woefully lacking in this information. For a goddess of ponies, she doesn't even know that good sex jokes! Or basic sexual responses for that matter…"

"Ah… so the whole tail twitching thing is really just an instinctual and involuntary response to being sexually excited?"

Shattered Globe missed a beat, and then shook his head, muttering, "Took the words right of me mouth!"

The 2 walked on in silence for a few minutes. For not being able to fly or teleport, Shattered Globe was making excellent time. There really was something to their four-legged-ness after all.

"For all that you don't understand ponies, I think we understand you less." Shattered Globe said.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, you don't have the ears, so I can't use that. And you don't have a tail, for whatever reason. Your eyes are tiny, too, so that goes out the window. Couple that with the fact your face never so much as twitches no matter the situation and I have no idea what you might be thinking… ever."

The Forgemaster said in mock sadness, sniffling, "I smile sometimes…"

"Yeah, but I think you're just doing the motion without actually feeling it. Then again, your eyes are tiny so I can't really tell."

"Well, at least I know that my poker face is still intact after being around… colorful, garish, and insanely happy ponies 24/7."

Shattered Globe nodded in understanding to that.

After a few moments, Shattered Globe started again, "So, what's up with human… mating?" Shattered Globe asked sheepishly.

The Forgemaster grinned, "Feeling curious, are we?"

"Hey, I answered your questions!" he yelled back.

"Easy, easy, no need to get defensive. Whoa, you really must be in to freaky stuff." The Forgemaster laughed.

"Aw, shadup! If you don't want to talk about your weird… bipedal mating rituals then that's fine by me!"

"Aw, don't be like that. There's nothing worse than having to be on a long journey home when the only other person, er, pony is giving me the silent treatment!"

Shattered Globe closed his eyes, 'Hmmphed', and raised his nose and walked ahead of him.

"Alright, I'll tell you all you wanna know." The Forgemaster sighed.

Shattered Globe grinned cheekily and slowed down until he was even with The Forgemaster once more.

"First off, we're not into the whole… mounting thing you ponies love so much. We mostly do it stomach to stomach, face to face."

"Hah! And you call me the freaky one, that right there, is A-grade kinky." Shattered Globe told him.

"Not among humans it's not. In fact, your 'mounting' style would be considered kinky amongst humans as well. Maybe not A-grade though, maybe more like B-grade or even C-grade."

That's how the conversation between the 2 went, far, far into the evening. At the pace they were going, they couldn't make it home to Ponyville or Canterlot in one day. The 2 had agreed to go to Ponyville first, at The Forgemaster's insistence. It would take them about 3 days in total to get back to Ponyville, and only a few more hours after that to go to Canterlot. By the end of those 3 days, both knew enough about the other's species to almost make them sick. But, curiously enough, Shattered Globe didn't receive much information about The Forgemaster himself or where he was from.

The Forgemaster had come to that realization a while ago now. He wasn't on the same planet he used to be on, that much was clear. Couple the fact that a race of talking ponies, griffons, and subterranean dogs existed with how the stars were in different positions and that not even the moon looked similar, and it was fairly obvious that he wasn't on Earth. Of course, the talking griffons, ponies, and dogs were the biggest hint. The Forgemaster had traveled all across the world and never once had he seen any kind of talking pony, dog, or griffon.

For some time on the trip back, The Forgemaster was contemplating some things. First of all, was whether or not Rainbow Dash could get pregnant by him? That in itself was a good question, but one with an easy answer: no. But he was also a shape shifting different species so the lines were blurry. He had never been in this position before; he had never had sex when he was transformed, so he had no prior experience to back himself up with. He had no idea if his DNA changed when he changed his forms, but if he did, then it was completely possible to impregnate a pony. After questioning Shattered Globe on the subject, The Forgemaster was delighted to hear that a mare could only get pregnant when she went into heat, and, from the details Globe supplied, the hadn't happened yet.

'Thank the gods for that, I'm not ready for a kid.' The Forgemaster thought, and then immediately chuckled to himself, 'Who am I kidding? I've lived long enough to watch my kids grow up to have kids of their own; I think I can handle 1 more… a pony one though. Weird.'

3 Days later, Ponyville City Limits

"Alright, there might be some problems when we arrive in the town…' The Forgemaster said.

"What? You the village pariah?" Globe asked.

"No, it's just that there are 6 very eccentric mares living here. 1 will throw you a party, 1 will try to fix your mane, 1 will welcome you with a hoof shake that would kill lesser creatures, 1 will hide from you, 1 will ask you question after question, and the last 1 is mine, though she will probably tackle me to the ground."

Globe just stared back at him, deadpan, he asked, "Can we go around?"

The Forgemaster shook his head, and said, "Sorry, but they would hurt me more if they learned that I purposely went missed them."

With a heavy sigh, Globe said, "Let's just get this over with."

The 2 started to alk towards the town more specifically towards The Forgemaster's residence.

"Alright, if we're quick, we can get to my house and lock the doors before they get in. I had all sorts of countermeasures put in so not even a really pissed off Hulk could get in."

Globe shook his head, "I won't even pretend to know what you just said, but let's hurry, damnit."

As it turns out, the path that they were taking to Ponyville was also the path that passes right by the Apple Family's Orchard. Of the 6 mares that might attack him if they see him, Applejack was one of the less likely to tackle him. Then again, only Pinkie and Rainbow would probably tackle him, it was doubtful that any of the others would. As they passed by the orchard, Applejack was nowhere to be seen, however, her brother Big Macintosh seemed to be lazing away the afternoon looking at the clouds while sitting under an apple tree within sight of the path.

The Forgemaster raised an arm in greeting and the large stallion did the same with a hoof. The Forgemaster walked up to Big Mac with Shattered Globe following immediately behind him.

"What's up Big Mac?" The Forgemaster cordially asked.

"Nothin'."

The Forgemaster never really ever had any sort of extended interaction with Big Mac, but knew from the few times they had seen each other that he wasn't much of a conversationalist.

"I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Shattered Globe."

Big Mac looked down at the relatively tiny stallion and held out a hoof, "Nice to meet yah partner."

Shattered Globe took the hoof and shook it, but appeared to be in a trance, after a few moments he snapped out of his reverie and said, "Whoa. I've only met 2 ponies from Ponyville and they're both giants. Is there something in the air around here?"

Big Mac replied, "Not as far as I know, but Ah am the second biggest stallion in Ponyville, since Forgemaster here came to town."

"And I'm not technically a pony, mind you." He reminded them.

After a few moments, The Forgemaster asked, "So… how's Bulb?"

"Oh, he's still cowering… it'll be another hour or so before he snaps out of it. You just had to make that sex joke didn't you?"

As The Forgemaster defended himself, Big Mac looked around in confusion before saying, "Ah don't see anypony else 'round here."

"Oh yeah, I have multiple personalities." Shattered Globe said like it was no big deal, getting a brief raised brow from Big Mac but then a casual nod of acceptance, "Broken Bulb is the other one and the only other one thankfully. Forgemaster said something that scared him and now he's cowering so deep in our consciousness that not even my world famous spiced pineapples with hot sauce could get him out."

The Forgemaster raised a brow, "Broken Bulb likes spicy stuff that bad?"

Shattered Globe grinned, "Nope, he hates the stuff, that's actually why it usually works so good. But, thanks to your interference, the spiciest thing since sliced bread won't snap him out of it. And that stuff burns so good it hurts." He finished with a whimsical smile, as though remembering the spiced treat fondly.

"Hey Big Mac, you know any way to get into the town without being seen?" The Forgemaster asked.

"Nope! But Pinkie set up some sorta fancy shindig at the City Hall, so if you're lucky, you might not even see anypony else."

Thank the gods/Celestia." The 2 said simultaneously.

The 2 bade goodbye to the stallion, who went back to staring up at the clouds as he had done before they arrived, and left. They ran towards Ponyville and were surprised at what they saw. They didn't expect the work pony to be lying, but he had understated the situation quite a bit. There wasn't a pony in sight in the entire village. Evidently, the ponies were gathered inside the town hall, as Big Mac had said they were. The Forgemaster just led Shattered Globe and a still-paralyzed Broken Bulb through Ponyville and to his home.

The 2 had agreed to rest at his house before continuing to Canterlot. The Forgemaster could then defend himself when confronted later by saying that he hadn't seen anyone when he went through the town earlier. A nice, safe, lazy answer. Typical Forgemaster, he may work hard when he wants to but he also has a fairly large lazy side to himself.

(A/N – Yo! Check out my one-shot, The Monster, drop a review, tell me what you think.)