The Forgemaster was sitting in his office, doing paperwork, the least. He was in Canterlot, overseeing the training of his men, er, stallions. Then again, there are also mares in the Guards… Crap. Thankfully, he was saved from his inner monologue by his Captain, Shining Armor, who had just opened the door to his office.

Before his Captain had even said a word, The Forgemaster said, "Hey, Shining Armor. If knowing is half the battle and getting there is half the battle, do we ever need to fight?"

Shining Armor chuckled, and then said, "Sir, I'll leave the complicated stuff to you."

"Good decision, alright, now what brought you into my office this morning?"

"Well, sir. I have the reports for the guards." Shining Armor waved a stack of files of his head with his magic.

"Anything important?"

"Other than a series of radical successes and the fact that the unicorns are somewhat behind schedule; no sir, nothing to report at all."

With a final flick of his quill, his current document was done, "Alright, burn those reports: it's a waste of space. And take me to where those damn unicorns are, I'll fix 'em up right and proper."

The Forgemaster reached into his desk and pulled out 4 books, each with a different colored binding: red, blue, white, and brown. He tossed these books to the Captain.

"Take these to somepony, and have them make 50 copies of each. They're basically training manuals for combat magic." He tossed the 4 books at his Captain, who caught them with alacrity.

"If those unicorns read those, they ought to be able to at least try the damn spells. You'd figure that ponies that have been using magic since they were born would be able to learn a new spell every now and again, but apparently not."

"Uh… yes sir?"

"Good answer! So… what's going on between you and your princess?"

Shining Armor brightened at his marefriend being mentioned, "Well, sir, I think it's going just fine… why are you shaking your head?"

"It doesn't matter if you think it's going fine, it only matters if she thinks it's going fine. Also; fine isn't good enough! Make it great, and report back to me once it's done. Now, give me some details…"

"Well, after you so… cordially… introduced us. We really hit it off. Though, it is kind of… awkward to call a princess by their first name."

"Hey, if she demands that you call her Cadance, it means you have a chance."

"I've… never looked at it that way, sir."

"What next?"

"I asked her if she would like to go out for dinner, she said when, I said next Friday. We went and we had a nice time."

"Okay, since there's no sure-fire way to know if a mare likes you, I'll have to teach you the mind reading spell-"

"No, sir, I couldn't do that!"

"But, mares are notoriously devious, the only way I know how to make sure they are telling the truth is to read their mind."

"I don't think that Cadance would appreciate me reading her mind. Or anypony else, for that matter."

"Ha! Good going, son: you past the first test. In every relationship there are secrets and things you never want to tell your significant other, these are important. However, never reveal them unless it is necessary to do so. It is always imperative to keep what you want private, private."

"I thought relationships were about openness and trust?"

The Forgemaster casually looked around the room, giggling madly, and intentionally not meeting his Captain's eyes.

He then looked at his hoof, which did not have a watch on it, and said, "Will you look at the time! I'd better go tutor some unicorns in magic! Bye bye, now!"

The Forgemaster ran at the nearest window and ran through it, shattering it in the process. Shining Armor ran to the window to check on his boss, and shook his head in frustration at the human-turned-stallion down 3 floors in his 'Killy Circle' cheering on a pair of fighters along with about a dozen or so guards. Shining Armor only just barely caught the cheeky smile his boss threw up at him. But he most certainly caught what his boss yelled up at him.

"Clean up that bloody mess, Captain!"

Shining Armor groaned and walked away.

'Sometimes he is just so immature…' he thought.

wWwWwWw

"… there are several basic spells that you can use to defend yourself. There are spells that manipulate the air, the earth, fire itself, and all types of liquids. While you may think that using water to defeat an enemy is stupid, think of it this way: if you are next to a river and an enemy army is running at you, one of the best things that can happen for you is that a tsunami spontaneously forms. While incredibly unlikely, it could happen. Well, with water spells, you could have the capability to make tsunamis whenever you damn well please."

The Forgemaster was on top of a large rock in the middle of an open field, there were scores of unicorns around him. All of these unicorns were guards and all of them have come to his little secluded field to learn how to use magic to defend themselves. All of these guards were around him in a large crowd, each of them looking at him and paying rapt attention.

"Today, you will be learning the fire spells. They are by far the easiest and most destructive to use. However, they do not have the flexibility that the other types have. Also, it's fucking fire! If you leave it unattended, it will burn literally everything in its path, so caution ponies."

He got scattered chuckles from that.

"We have numerous medics standing by, so you won't die and the get experience treating burns! Please note, you will get burned today. It's really more how much you get burned that you should be worried about." He pointed towards a large tent with a red cross on it as he was speaking.

"Alright, everypony line up!"

Orders were being followed with the speed that only being absolutely bat-shit afraid of what your commander might do if you're not fast enough, in moments the roughly 100 strong group of unicorns was in order.

"Alright, you lot learned how to do Captain Shining Armor's shield last week, so if you're not very good with them yet, prepare for some practical experience! This is called the flamethrower spell, and it's really self explanatory. Create a tiny domed shield facing away from you. This is to protect yourself from your own fire!"

He looked across the line and saw that they all had tiny, pink shield in front of them.

"Alright, now, focus your magical energies in the area in front of the shield, I'm talking about 1 millimeter away from the shield and focus them in an area of about 1 millimeter cubed, got that? Okay, once you focus enough of your energy there, the air around it will start to spontaneously combust from the heat being generated in such a tiny place. From there, use basic levitation spells to move the fire away from you in a stream! I didn't say start yet! You 6 take a lap around Canterlot and come back."

The 6 ponies designated groaned and ran away, making The Forgemaster call after them, "We're only a mile from Canterlot and the city's circumference is only about 3! And quit your bitching or I'll make it 3 laps!" the groans abruptly stopped.

"Alright, distance of 10 feet in between everypony and everypony face that-a-way!" he pointed in the direction indicated.

"Alright, now practice! And try not to hit someone else!"

The open field was suddenly alight with almost a hundred pilot lights burning. After a few moments, the entire field was alight with large streams of fire bursting forth from each of the unicorns, well, most of them anyway.

"If you can't do it, turn to the nearest pony and ask them for some pointers!" he yelled out from atop his rock.

Once he was satisfied that all of the ponies could do it, which took about a half-hour, he turned them on to endurance. The first pony to keep a stream going for a full minute gets to learn the next spell in the fire series. In roughly an hour, he had about 50 unicorns ready to learn the next spell and the 6 from earlier returned. After getting the 6 set straight he turned to the smaller group of ponies ready to learn.

"Alright, this one is slightly more difficult, but can be used in innumerable ways. Same process as before, only slightly different. This time, make an entire bubble with your shield, and focus the energies inside of it. Since your shield ought to be air-tight, there will be no outward indication that the spell is ready for a while. However, a big clue is when your shield becomes so hot that it starts to spontaneously combust the air around it, that's the only outward indication, and indeed the spell can be used earlier than at that moment. Anyways, once the heat sphere is ready, merely push the shield towards where you want it to go, at this point you can stop pumping energy into the sphere, and it will last long enough without your energy. And once at the target, drop the shield all at once and the fire will rapidly expand in every direction. It moves so fast and burns so hot as to actually drain all of the oxygen out of an area, and the fire quickly burns itself out. But the real kicker isn't in the fire; it's in the rapid expansion. The expansion creates an explosive and concussive wave of energy which knocks ponies off of their feet, bursts ear-drums, gives concussions, kills, breaks bones, etc, etc. Anyway, this spell is one of my personal favorites. Go ahead, try it out, but remember to put extra emphasis on the shield, in time it'll become second nature to you, but for now it's the most important thing!"

The group of unicorns all gave an affirmation and began to work on their own, taking the proper safety procedures of getting away from all of the other ponies.

The Forgemaster, still on his rock, gave out various commands to all of the ponies in the field.

"Those using the fireball spell, teach the other once they are ready. If any of you care to read, I had the good Captain make some copies of some training manuals. They will teach you all you need to know about the 4 different schools of combat magickery. They'll be in the Royal Guard barracks' library. I've gotta go now, see you lot back at the barracks at sundown, and no later!"

With a chorus of, 'Sir, yes sir's ringing out, The Forgemaster opened a portal and went back to his office.

wWwWwWw

To his surprise, he found a certain princess of the night waiting for him there. She was sitting in the only other chair that the room provided that wasn't also his chair.

"Greetings, Forgemaster." Princess Luna said.

"Hi, Luna. How is the night? Still dark and under-appreciated?" he asked with a chuckle.

She sighed, "Unfortunately, yes. Though ponies like Tia's student Twilight Sparkle are always staying up through much of the night."

"Think of it this way, Lulu." He smirked at her, "There are several things done in the night. Everything from getting lost in a good book to partying and especially love-making! There are many things done in the night to be proud of, if it wasn't for the night, why I'd say that only half as many couples as now have fun and enjoy their lives together. Have you seen one of those night-clubs? They're crazy!"

She laughed despite herself at his boyish excitement, "Why thank you, I've not thought about that way before. It is truly touching to have this pointed out to me, thank you. And, yes I've been to a night club under a disguise and, to be honest, they weren't what I was expecting at all! Loud noises, bright, strobing lights, and the dancing, ugh, how can anypony call that dancing!"

The 2 shared a laugh at the idiocy of the younger generations.

"You know, if you need something to occupy your time; you could always get a student like Tia has?"

He immediately found himself being crushed under the weight of a joyous Luna, who was hugging him into oblivion, "Oh thank you thank you thank you! Why haven't I thought about it before? It will be the perfect thing I need to distract myself. I mean, between the night, studying the new times, and learning and inventing new spells, I almost have no time for fun!"

He inhaled loudly, "You make new spells too! No way!"

"Of course I do! Why do you think there hasn't been a new spell in generations? It was always me who invented the new spells, and other ponies would learn how to do it from some books that I published on the subject."

He hugged her back, "Princess Luna is best princess."

She sniffled back a tear, "Really?"

"Yes."

Another sniffle, "Do you mind if I lord this over Tia?"

"So long as she doesn't kill me for it."

"Oh, she would never kill anypony."

"…I'm not a pony."

She grinned sheepishly, "Oh, right. Well, I'm sure she won't kill you, either."

"I'm not so sure about that… You hear about those ground trembles near Ponyville a few days ago, and the river drying up for about an hour?"

"Yes, I think I read something about that, why?"

"Well, as it turns out, those trembles and the river were connected. Apparently, someone made the river change course for an hour and then set it back."

"How?"

"Explosives, but you aren't asking the important questions: where was the river diverted to?"

She stared at him in confusion for a few moments, before saying, "Alright, I'll bite: who was it and why?"

"It was me and I diverted the river so I could drown a few dozen hundred diamond dogs in their burrow. Hey, don't look at me like that! I have an excuse: they hurt Fluttershy! What happened to them was, if anything, far too merciful."

She glared at him, before rubbing her chin, thinking, "Fluttershy, Fluttershy… the adorable butter yellow pegasus?"

He nodded.

She smiled, "Then, you are correct: you were far too merciful. Tia or I would've sent them to the moon for all eternity."

He sniffed, "It's like she packs military-grade cuteness. If anything so much as lifts a finger in her direction without the intent to give her a hug I want to tear their eyeballs out and sodomize them with their own femur bone after I tear it off of them." He sighed, "Do you mind not telling Tia about this, she might kill me."

"My lips are sealed."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it. By the way, you should work on not using the Royal Canterlot voice while in public."

"I'm just so used to it. A thousand years ago, it was considered proper. Now, it's completely different. The transition has been difficult."

"I understand, but, work on it, you know?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "Of course."

The 2 sat in silence for a few more moments, but Princess Luna broke the silence.

"You know, I had a crush on you."

He sat up quickly, "Really? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Ugh, you dumb colts are so oblivious sometimes. Tia said that I made it blatantly obvious."

"Not to me." He sighed, "I miss the good old days, when dating and finding someone to care for wasn't so hard. Why can't girls and guys just walk up to someone and say, 'Hey, I find your physical attributes pleasing. I would like to meet with you later to discuss things so that I may infer as to whether or not you are mentally pleasing to me as well.' But, nope, that went out the window as soon as people found rejection too hard to handle. Pussies."

She blinked owlishly at him for a few moments, before deciding that ignoring that rant was the best thing she could do, "While I may still want to be with you, I wouldn't dream of trying to get between you and Miss Rainbow Dash."

He grinned at her, "I don't think she would mind at all, sure she'd be thunderstruck for the first few minutes, but I think that she'd get into the swing of things fairly quickly."

"Did you just make a sex joke to a princess?"

"Whoever said it was a joke? I was thinking more along the lines of 'invitation'." He laughed at her scowling face, "No, I understand what you mean. It was just too much to pass up. And if you want to be in a relationship with me, just wait about 2 centuries or so."

She shook her head, "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"The average life-span for a human was about 80 to 90 years. Dashie is 20-something now. That's the way the cycle went: I meet someone, 70 or so years later they die, I mourned their loss for another 30 or so years, I steel myself to any kind of relationship for about a century, some girl notices the shell I built up around my heart, they decide that it's a good idea to break it down, another 70 years they die and the cycle continues into infinity. So yeah, about another 2 centuries is about right."

"You've been in so many relationships that you can accurately predict when we could be in a relationship?" she asked, incredulously.

"Yep! I wouldn't want to break up with Rainbow Dash, seeing as how she'd kill me. And Rainbow Dash probably won't break up with me, seeing as how she's the 'Element of Loyalty'. So unless I do something monumentally stupid, the 2 of us won't be separating for a while, now."

"How are you still sane?"

"I never said anything about being sane or not… Then again, sanity is relative." He exhaled, loudly, "Well, at least I've found 2 other beings that are immortal. At least I'll have friends to be lonely with for all eternity."

"You didn't even have a brother or a sister to have company with for all that time? What did you do for all those centuries?"

"I really just focused on uplifting my people to more advanced stages of civilization. We recently made it to the moon, without the aid of magic. Damn technology. For all of its qualities, it seems the more my people utilized technology, the less they had use for magic. Eventually, I became one of the few magic users left on the entire planter. People would come to me and ask 'How do you do these wonderful abilities?' and as soon as I say 'magic' they completely shut down. Just a tiny molecule of doubt, which they all had, and they couldn't use magic. Poor bastards."

He sighed, and then looked at the time.

"Aw, crap. Sorry Luna, but I've got a date with Dashie tonight, and I don't want to be late."

He launched himself out of the window, thankfully open this time, and flew off towards Ponyville.

Luna waved after him and then went back to whatever it was she was doing.

(A/N – Hmm, bad ending. Ah, screw it.)