"So, you want to know why I call myself a Spartan, eh?"

"Good job, you successfully reiterated what I just asked."

He barked out a laugh, "Ha! Leave the snarky witticisms to me, Twilight Sparkle. And as for why I consider myself a Spartan: it's because, over my long life, they're the culture I enjoyed the most and most identified with. I could've chosen another, but I liked being a Spartan the most."

"And why is that?"

"Hmm… it's difficult to describe the Spartans. The reason I like being one is because they're the best at what they do. I suppose the closet thing you could approximate them with would be the Royal Guards."

She raised an eyebrow, "An entire culture of warriors?"

He laughed again, "No, no, no, no. Compared to the Royal Guards, the Spartans are more like super-warriors. Deformed children are culled immediately, males are taken at age 7 to train to become warriors in the Agoge system. The Agoge was designed to encourage discipline and physical toughness. It turned the Spartans into some of the most feared and respected warriors this side of hell. I enjoy being a part of such a well respected culture."

She smiled widely, "Fascinating!"

Twilight Sparkle's visits to The Forgemaster's home had not abated with time, in fact, they had increased. So much so that The Forgemaster actually had to set up a weekly time for the 2 to get together so that she wouldn't bother him at odd hours of the day. The pair was seated at the table, Twilight carefully avoiding the seat that was marked for Rainbow Dash; The Forgemaster guarded the seat from 'trespassers' with a passion. Also, this particular evening, Rainbow Dash had elected to sit in on their meeting, though she was often bored and didn't participate, but she still took the opportunity to learn more about her colt-friend without actually having to question him. Rainbow Dash insisted that she was 'supervising' though anyone could tell that she was just as curious about him as Twilight. The Forgemaster was currently in his pony form, saying that he needed to get used to it seeing as how that's the form he'll be using the most.

She wrote down what he had been saying in her various notepads, and after a moment of writing asked, "So what's hell?"

"Where sinners allegedly go to earn their punishments."

"What's the punishment? And what did they do?"

"A sinner is an individual who sins. A sin is something bad; lying, stealing, murder, etc, etc. As for their punishment… Well, in numerous cultures around the world, when someone dies, and they've lived a good life, their souls go up to heaven and they spend eternity in paradise with their god of choice. Unfortunately for sinners, they are either temporarily barred from paradise, permanently barred from paradise, or tortured into insanity until time stops, depending upon which culture or which religion you choose to believe."

Twilight looked horrified at the last suggestion, and had even stopped writing. The Forgemaster took no notice and continued.

"I like to believe that I've led a good life; that I've always tried to do good where possible. However, I've lived a long life and it's possible that the gods haven't taken very kindly to some of the things I've done. But I am forever barred from my reward by this stupid immortality!" He slammed the table with his fist, "It's frustrating; knowing that something awaits you when you die and not knowing what it is."

He fumed silently for a few moments, before continuing, "Excuse me as I get philosophical, Twilight Sparkle. Everything has a beginning and an end, especially living things. For instance; your beginning is a small hospital room in Canterlot, born to your parents Velvet Sparkle and Night Light. My beginnings, on the other hand, are shrouded in mystery, draped in an enigmatic blanket, tossed into an unknowable fire, whilst being shot at by some amnesiacs. Also, every being has an end; even immortals. Mortals know that they will die, and can plan accordingly… well, maybe not exactly but within a general area of when you're gonna die. Immortals can die, what with battle, poison, disease; it's completely possible for them to die. However, as they cannot die of old age they can never plan for their death."

Rainbow Dash chose that moment to enter the conversation in a most eloquent fashion, "Huh?"

"Think of it this way: every single individual is a boat. These 'boats' know where they are from and where they're going, but they know not how, when, or why they shall arrive. My 'boat' on the other hand, knows neither its destination nor its origin, and my destination can either be miles upon miles away, or it could be inches away. The mortal boats' destinations can only ever be so far away, mine, however, has a limitless possible distance."

Rainbow Dash just looked at him with a 'What?' look on her face.

He sighed, "I don't know when I'll die. Mortals have an idea of when they'll die. The uncertainty in when I will die fills me with discomfort."

"Oooooo…"

As he looked between Twilight and Rainbow, he thought that perhaps he had laid it on a little thick: the 2 looked like they were about to cry. In pity! If there was one thing on this planet that The Forgemaster hated with a passion, besides cowards, was any form of pity for him! The Forgemaster decided on an age-old tactic to stop the pity fest; changing the subject.

He turned to Rainbow, "Dashie, have you told Twilight Sparkle or the other the news?"

She looked lost for a moment, before realizing, "Oh… you mean… No, I guess I forgot again…" she said while rubbing the back of her neck.

Twilight was confused, "What news are you talking about?"

"Well, you know how when I was a pony without my memories, I slept with Rainbow Dash?" At her nod, he continued, "Well, we haven't exactly… stopped."

"W-what!"

Twilight was understandably upset by this revelation, clearly trusting her friends to tell her something so important. The Forgemaster continued on, regardless.

"One thing that I've learned about ponies is; mares love it when you… caress their cutie-marks."

Twilight managed to retain her intellectual properties even under such obvious embarrassment, "W-well, yes: t-that's to be expected. Cutie-marks are a f-fairly sensitive e-erogenous zone."

The Forgemaster smirked over at Rainbow Dash, who was simultaneously giggling and blushing at the obvious mention of her, he then looked back to Twilight, "What other… erogenous zones are there, Twilight Sparkle?"

"W-well, besides the, uh, o-obvious ones: on pegasi, the wings have a nerve center on the connecting appendage, making them very sensitive to… t-touch, and unicorns' horns are s-sensitive at the base."

He grinned lecherously over at Rainbow Dash, "Hey Rainbow, do you think we could… introduce another member to our midnight meetings?" he said, winking at her to assure her he wasn't serious.

She picked up on it immediately, she turned to look Twilight up and down in a seductive manner, "Oh, well: we'd need to find the right pony… any suggestions?"

They were both looking at Twilight now, who was visibly shaking under the… implications.

"I think I have an idea for a pony: how about a certain… lavender book-worm?"

Rainbow got out of her seat and went next to Twilight, "You wouldn't mean young, innocent Twilight, here, would you?"

"She does seem to have some sort of… charm about her. Don't you agree?"

"Of course; she's a very sexy mare. But, it is up to her, now isn't it Twilight?"

Twilight looked between the 2 of them, Rainbow grinning in a most seductive manner while The Forgemaster just smirked at her, awaiting her response. The more she looked between the 2 the more flustered she got, the more flustered she got the more her thoughts scattered to the 4 winds.

"I-I-I-I d-don't know…" she stammered out.

The Forgemaster smiled broadly, and moved closer to Twilight, moving to the opposite side of Rainbow. He then started to rub Rainbow's back, making her moan slightly causing Twilight to blush and hide her face.

"It's a simple question, Twilight Sparkle: yes… or no." he whispered in her ear.

"Please… stop."

"Or do you mean… start?"

"C'mon Twilight, you know you wanna…" Rainbow said in a sultry voice.

Then Twilight said the one thing that neither of the other 2 were suspecting.

After a long moment of hesitation, she said, "Okay…"

The Forgemaster's eyebrows went up in a display of surprise that would've shocked any who knew of his personality. He looked over Twilight to lock eyes with Rainbow who also had wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

He wiggled his brow and tilted his head towards Twilight in a manner that said, 'What do you want to do?'

With a single nod and a grin, Rainbow said, 'Why not?'

This all happened in a matter of seconds, and Twilight hadn't noticed the delay and neither had she raised her head from in between her legs.

He spoke, "C'mon, Twilight Sparkle; I believe that my bed is big enough for 3…"

He nudged her off of the chair with Rainbow helping. They managed to get Twilight off the chair and walking up the stairs towards the bedroom under her own power. As they did so, The Forgemaster had a rushed, whispered conversation with Rainbow Dash.

"Sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Why not? This'll be fun!"

"This isn't going to end well; I'll probably have to actually make small talk with her later."

Twilight looked over her shoulder at them, wondering why and what they were whispering about.

As he saw her turn in their direction, he called out, "Hey, keep that flank where I can see it!" while Rainbow giggled.

Twilight immediately turned back around and walked faster with an immense blush on her face.

"It won't be so bad, you'll definitely enjoy it."

"I'm not going to dispute that… so how are we going to go about this?" he whispered back to Rainbow

She smirked at him, "What? Never had 2 mares at once?"

He scoffed at her, "Occasionally, but Twilight is an acquaintance. Sex is serious business with females, especially amongst friends."

"Fine, just leave her to me, alright?"

He cocked a brow, "Why?"

"Ugh… colts."

He giggled at the face she made, and then called out to Twilight, "Hey Twilight Sparkle! I know the combination to Dashie's metaphorical lock; it will be interesting deciphering yours!"

She 'Eep'd in a manner that only Fluttershy could duplicate.

He looked back to Rainbow with a smug look on his face, "I think I can handle this."

"Oh, you are so paying for that!"

And then… the bedroom!

The Forgemaster made one last remark before taking the plunge, "Never bet against my abilities to corrupt the innocent, my little heroes!"

wWwWwWw

Early the next morning

The Forgemaster awoke in his bed as a pony, something he would also have to get used to. He looked to his left and saw a very content Rainbow Dash sleeping fitfully, he looked to his right to see Twilight Sparkle sleeping much the same way. Both had their hooves over his chest.

He thought back to the thing he had said to Rainbow when this had happened last time, 'I must've forgotten to turn off my swag; I woke up covered in mares.' It is much more applicable to his current situation, seeing as how there is more than one mare that he woke up covered in, this time.

'Ah, shit. I still have to write that report for Celestia…' he thought.

He began the process of extricating himself from the 2 mares, who subconsciously refused to let him out of their hooves, apparently. Rainbow Dash wasn't likely to wake, seeing as how she was used to waking up past noon, and Twilight wouldn't wake due to recent… exertions that she isn't used to performing in the middle of the night. It took him 12 minutes and a whole lot of anxiety to get out of their grip without waking either, or so he thought.

He managed to get onto the floor and half-way across the room before Rainbow Dash spoke to him.

"Hey, what are you doing up? It's only 9." She croaked out in her morning rasp, which was more than usual.

He shook his hoof at her, "Go back to nuzzling Twilight Sparkle; I'll only be a moment."

She nodded, and did exactly as he said: she began nuzzling Twilight, who, in her still sleeping state, nuzzled back in a most adorable fashion. Adorable up 'till you find out that they recently had sex; then it becomes more like randy than adorable.

On the way down the stairs, he turned back into a human. Some tasks were similar between the 2 species, but for anything that requires intricacy, The Forgemaster always chooses human; it has something to do with having fingers. That, and the fact that The Forgemaster can't exactly write very well without fingers, or at all, really. Pony writing is far simpler than human written language, it has similar amounts of characters, but the characters are simpler, with fewer curves, blockier style, etc, etc; they were made with hooves and/or mouths in mind and so didn't develop the complexity that human fingers can accomplish with a pen or a quill. Fortunately, Celestia can read human writing thanks to the memory swap they had experienced earlier, and as an added bonus, if an enemy were to somehow steal one of his letters then they wouldn't have the translations for it, so it would be useless.

But down to business; why exactly The Forgemaster was writing a letter to Celestia. The answer is simple: Celestia wants to know what, exactly, he has done with her beloved guards, how the structure will change, and why the Royal Guard officers have been complaining so much recently.

Dear Leash Holder,

The Royal Guards are being entirely revamped, and the officers need to learn to adjust but are failing miserably. For instance; officer-ship will no longer be determined by seniority or experience, though those are admirable qualities, an officer will now be determined by whether or not the ponies actually get the job done. I suspect that many officers that are currently complaining will be replaced shortly.

I will also be re-structuring the Royal Guards. No longer will there be 2 houses of Royal Guards that guard you princesses at differing hours. Now, there will be 7 companies of around 500-600 guard ponies each. Do not worry; all of the companies will guard you to their utmost, though each will now be more independent, going on missions and the like throughout Equestria in addition to their primary objective of protecting the Royal Family, minus Blueblood… I do not like Blueblood.

The bearers of the Elements of Harmony will be receiving training in various fields, to better defend themselves. Doing it for them isn't an efficient use of my time, though I will continue to do so.

Your Eternal Watch Dog, The Forgemaster.

P.S: nice 'private' library, by the way. I stumbled across that in my memories and I must say: you retain a surprising… free spirit about you for someone of your authority, if you know what I mean. Before you get mad, know that I wasn't stingy with the 'private' details of my own life either.

P.P.S: Nice flank.

He then sent the letter, knowing he will probably be punished but not caring.

wWwWwWw

The Forgemaster, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle were all having a nice breakfast together, and suffice to say; it was awkward. Well, it was awkward for Twilight, at the least; Rainbow didn't seem to notice at all, though The Forgemaster did notice in the way that older gentlemen always seem to know what's wrong with women. The Forgemaster took this time to say something he felt that he should've said long ago. Well, it was really mostly Rainbow pushing him to it, but regardless.

"Twilight Sparkle… it has come to my attention that I have been less than… cordial with my dealings with you..."

Twilight glanced up from her hay-bread and jam to look questioningly at him, completely missing Rainbow's smug look.

"… and for that, my little hero; I apologize. I shall take pains in the future to be more… magnanimous when dealing with you… is that acceptable?"

His response came in the form of Twilight leaping across the table and giving him a hug, to which The Forgemaster gently patted her on the back.

"I'll call you Twilight from now on, is that alright?" she nodded in response.

"Hey, Forgey?" asked Rainbow, "Why do you call us 'my little heroes'?"

"Yeah, I'd like to know too."

He grumbled under his breath so that nopony heard, "It's about damn time one of you noticed."

He said loud enough for them to hear, "For better or for worse; you are this nation's group of heroes. I, in my old age and great experience, have taken numerous heroes under my metaphoric… well; it used to be metaphoric, wing. You 6 are the next heroes I will train to meet this nation's challenges, just as I've trained thousands before, both sung and un-sung."

"Really! That's so cool!"

"Thank you for this, Forgey. I'm sure all of Equestria will thank you for this."

"Yeah, well. I had some fun times back then, I bet you can't compare." He said

"WHAT! I bet we can take them!"

He chuckled, "Maybe, Rainbow, but they aren't here for you to find out, now are they?"

"Argh!" Rainbow groaned, she slumped in her chair and after a moment said in a sad voice, "Can we go back to bed?"

He laughed and glanced at Twilight and said, "I don't see why not. Twilight, you staying or going?"

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy." –Dante

(A/N – Woo! Sexual innuendo at its finest, as well as Twilight no longer being an annoying acquaintance!