He had been lying next to Rainbow Dash for around a half hour before she finally woke up. He decided to pretend to be asleep, and she fell for it. As she awoke, she didn't notice the hoof on her waist at first. She stretched out her forelegs and gave a quiet yawn before tensing underneath his grasp; she noticed him now. Her back was to him and she was in a very… compromising position; her first thought was that they had had sex. Well, that solves one mystery: if she didn't know that he was there then he probably just stumbled into the wrong house last night. Instead of freaking out as he thought she would, she did the relatively polite thing: she started to whisper his name.

"Crimson. Crimson, wake up." She whispered.

He decided not to 'wake up' and messed with her further.

He tightened his grip around her and whispered in a voice that suggested he was in a wonderful dream, "And that's why they call me 'The Hammer'."

She tensed even more, and then did something unexpected: she started to giggle. At first, it appeared that she was having convulsions under the sheets, but he then realized that she was, in fact, attempting to hold in her giggles. After a moment or 2, she failed miserably and started to giggle aloud.

He then started to move his hoof up and down her flank. He noticed that her wings slowly started to rise. Her giggling soon stopped after that, to be replaced with slight moans of pleasure.

So he said, "You seem to be enjoying this, Rainbow Dash."

She replied, "Ye~ah… wait! You're awake!"

She immediately sprung out of bed and turned to glare at him. What she didn't seem to notice was the massive blush on her face or that her wings were stiff and pointed up at her side.

She sputtered out, "No, what I meant was no!"

Her face, red as a tomato, only seemed to get redder somehow in the face of her own defense.

He indicated her wings and said, "Those tell me a different story."

She looked and saw her wings, and, in spite of all the colors of the color wheel, her face turned even redder. She began to search for anything that she could use for her defense, and found exactly what she needed.

She said, "Why are you even in my house?"

His reply was, "I don't even know."

It was a lie, but not a lie, too. He didn't know why he had woken up in her house the first time. He knew why he was there the second time, but, she didn't need to know that.

So he said, "Would you like to come back to bed?" with his best smirk.

She smiled at him and said, "I think I'd like that." And then moved closer to the bed.

He was freaking out on the inside. He had meant to just mess with Rainbow Dash, he didn't mean to have sex with her… again. In all fairness, the first time was a result of a serious mind-fuck. But this time was a situation of his own creation. Just then, he had a somewhat disturbing thought.

'When in Rome, do as Romans do. When in Equestria, do ponies.' He thought, then immediately regretted it.

Unfortunately, his body had heard that thought and took control.

3 ½ hours later

He left Rainbow Dash in a catatonic state, unable to move. She was far too exhausted from recent… excursions to move. He had learned several important things about himself and about Rainbow Dash. Most importantly, he learned that she is, in fact, a screamer. Hopefully, no other ponies had heard the noises coming from Rainbow Dash's cloud-house. His hopes were immediately dashed, however, as he looked down from the edge of the cloud house. He saw what appeared to be 5 ponies on the ground, looking up at the cloud-house. He noticed the familiar array of colors and deduced that they were the 'Elements'.

He certainly didn't want to speak with them, and realized that the voice from earlier was correct: he could just hide in his cloud-house for a few days. He flew across the small gap that separated the 2 houses and went inside his own. He quickly found his shower, turned it on, and hid there, wallowing in his self-disgust, for 2 hours.

His damnable pony instincts had made him sleep with a pony! He had only wanted to embarrass or humiliate rainbow Dash, he didn't want to sleep with her!

'Well, shit.' He thought.

He then chuckled, 'At least it wasn't boring.' He thought.

Twilight's POV

1 Hour Earlier

She had been having the most wonderful lunch, hay-flower sandwich with fresh apple juice, when she was interrupted by a loud scream that echoed throughput all of Ponyville. She dropped her sandwich half-way to her mouth, and then quickly bolted out of the store, running to where the scream had come from.

The only thought on her mind was, 'Dash.'

She ran far faster than she thought she could, too startled to even remember that she could teleport, and made it to Rainbow's house several minutes later. Well, not exactly to Rainbow's house, more like the ground immediately underneath Rainbow's house. Her friends showed up soon after her, all were staring up at the house where the noises were coming from.

They all had similar thoughts running through their heads.

'It sounds like she's being tortured!' Thought Twilight.

'What kind of un-mannerly beast could do something like this to poor Rainbow Dash? It's the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!' Thought Rarity.

'Oh dear. Oh my. Oh dear. Oh my.' Thought Fluttershy, repeatedly.

'Ah'm gonna buck the tar outta who's doin' this tah poor Rainbow!' thought Applejack.

What Pinkie Pie was thinking shouldn't be told, as whoever's reading this might die from exposure.

Twilight, while still thinking about what could possibly be happening to Rainbow Dash, quickly took charge.

"Alright girls! We need to get up there and put a stop to whatever is going on!" she said.

"But how, Twi? Only pegasus here is Fluttershy, and Ah ain't about to let her go up there all by her lonesome!" Applejack stated.

"But we can't just leave the poor dear up there!" Exclaimed Rarity.

"You're right, Rarity. But what can we do from down here? We'll have to get up there to help. Any suggestions?" Twilight asked.

Just then a much larger shriek from Rainbow Dash was heard. And then it was quiet for a few minutes, before the noises started up again in full force.

"Twilight, why don't yah jus' teleport us all up there?" Applejack asked.

"No, I couldn't. I would have to cast the cloud walking spell too, and I can't do both. I don't have the energy."

"Then what are we suppose to do, just sit here and wait while somethin' awful is happening to RD?" Applejack asked.

"Of course not, silly filly. We'll just use my trampoline!" Pinkie said.

"Yeah! And Twilight can cast the cloud-walkin' spell so we can stay up there."

"Then you would just impact the bottom of the cloud. You will have to take a running jump, Applejack, and I'm not sure if you should try. If you miss the house or don't go up high enough, you won't land back on the trampoline. I could catch you with magic, but I couldn't do it all that many times." Twilight said; the voice of reason… for once.

"Girls…" came a quiet voice from the ground.

"Yeah, Fluttershy?" asked Applejack.

"What if she's not being hurt?" she asked.

"What do yah mean? Can't yah hear that? If she ain't bein' hurt then what's…"

Applejack stopped mid-sentence. Fluttershy and she both started to blush. When Twilight noticed and asked, she was told and began to blush as well.

"I don't think that's what's happening, girls, that doesn't sound like… that." Twilight said.

"Shhh! It's stopped!" Pinkie said, the girls noticing the lack of screaming.

The mares all looked up at the cloud-house. After a few moments, a head peeked out of the cloud and looked down at them. It retreated a second later, but then the pony it belonged to jumped off of the cloud-house and flew to the one floating not more than 50 feet away.

"Well, that solves that riddle." Said Twilight.

All of the 5 mares gathered were blushing horribly. They realized what they had been doing; they had been listening to the sounds of their friend's passionate love-making with Crimson Hammer and they were all horribly, horribly embarrassed.

The Forgemaster

Present

When The Forgemaster awoke, he was still in the shower. Apparently, he had fallen asleep in the shower after his misadventure with Rainbow Dash. The water was still on, and was still warm for some reason. Then he remembered that he had taken the prototype from rarity's house without her knowing. No matter how much water he used, he still felt dirty. That prank had not gone to plan at all!

He rose from his watery grave and turned the shower off. He stepped from his bathroom and into his living room, and was stunned at what he found. There, on his coffee table, was a poster of the Wonderbolts. He picked it up and un-rolled it.

He found a letter inside the poster and opened it, it read: Thank you, for that.- RD

Evidently, it was from Rainbow Dash. He looked closer at the poster and found, much to his surprise, that every one of the current Wonderbolts had signed it. It must have meant a lot to Rainbow Dash, and she had given it to him. That puzzled him: he hadn't really done anything interesting to earn this.

He found a pin, and hung the poster up in his living room. Rainbow Dash would appreciate that he put the poster in such a visible place.

He looked out the window and found that it was still daylight out. He was happy that it wasn't nighttime yet; he still hadn't done his errands for the day.

He leapt from his home and flew to Rarity's boutique to pick up his clothes. He knocked, but nopony was home. He entered and found the outfit on a nearby mannequin. He took it down and tried it on. He found it to be exactly as he had wanted it; the 'Assassin Cloak' was just as it would be on a human, only on a pony. He left a note stating that he had taken it and flew off to do his other errand; Zecora's potion.

He flew off to the entrance to the Everfree forest and looked in. He supposed he could understand why the ponies were so frightened of the forest. It did look sort of dark and foreboding. But he wasn't afraid at all, it's just a forest full of mindless monsters and evil, magical plants.

'What could go wrong?' he thought, and then he thought, 'DAMNIT! Why did I think that? At least I hadn't said it out loud…'

He instantly regretted thinking that, if past experiences were anything to go by than he was about to have something awful happen to him. Poor Jonathan, William, Zaphoria, Vincent, Pvt. Fovi, Quentin, and the city of Detroit, you will be missed. He remembered exactly what happened each time they had said, 'What could go wrong?', and it had never ended well for them, especially not Detroit.

With a heavy heart, he continued into the forest, knowing that something awful was going to happen.

And he was right.

Not 25 steps into the Everfree and he was attacked by a manticore.

This led The Forgemaster to question how many types of monsters there actually were in this forest. He had been attacked by 2 other manticores, 3 counting this one; he had not seen a different kind of creature yet!

He hadn't even seen it coming. It just burst from the forest right next to him and tackled him. He was sent flying. The creature didn't choose to press its attack, and that's what doomed him. Unfortunately, the Forgemaster had noticed where exactly the manticore had hit him when he stood up.

The Forgemaster quickly stood from the tackle, and took in his surroundings. Then he looked down. At his feet… was a small cluster of more Poison joke. And he was PISSED OFF.

When he looked at the manticore, his eyes had turned black. No pupil, no sclera, no iris, just one solid black surface.

He yelled at the manticore, "I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES!"

The next few minutes are nothing but a blur in his memory. When he exited his berserker rage, he noticed something very interesting.

There wasn't a living thing within 50 feet of him in any direction.

All the trees were smashed, all the animals had fled, and the manticore didn't seem to have a bone in its body that wasn't broken. Apparently, when he gets pissed off, nothing lives.

Then he noticed something peculiar: the small cluster of Poison Joke was completely intact. The only living thing within 50 feet was the thing that he wanted exterminated more than anything.

He walked off, found the path, and continued to Zecora's.