Chapter 17-1: Nice Things

[Why do you knuckle-draggers insist on doing things the hard way? Very well…]

Still seething from my confrontation with Watcher, I was less than pleased when I arrived back at the main Raider force only to find them lounging around.

“What the hell is this?” I demanded out loud, not particularly aimed at anybody. A few Raiders shot up and tried to look busy, but even more just glanced over or ignored me entirely, unconcerned.

Oh not today, you useless jackholes! My horn blazed, and a sheet of ice began radiating out from my hooves, spreading rapidly across the ground. “GET THE FUCK UP, ALL OF YOU!”

Even more took notice of my raised voice this time, but it wasn’t until their backsides felt the cold that they finally rose, many still glaring.

“WHAT?! Got something to say?” I had no intention of hiding the contempt I felt for them at that moment. It seemed to have the desired effect, as all but one turned away and grumpily began to move.

The one, a burly Haylander, didn’t seem to appreciate being spoken down to without the threat of violence from Caber Toss if she didn’t listen. Snarling, she lowered her head and pawed at the icy ground.

A crooked smile spread across my face. “Do it! I dare you! Come on, I’m right here!” You really picked a bad time to challenge me, you no-name punk.

She wasted no time, charging across the gap between us.

Every eye was on our exchange now.

Watch this.

Though there was a fair distance between us, the Raider made good time on the slick surface. She was halfway to me in seconds.

And that’s as far as she got. The moment her leading leg touched the ice, it sprang up around her hoof, pinning it in place. The rest of her, however, kept moving forward at a reckless pace, until…

SNAP!!!

The frozen leg didn’t come along as the rest of her travelled forwards. Her sudden, unexpected halt flipped her head over hooves, landing with her shoulder socket wrenched unnaturally, and the shackled limb in three pieces. A jagged spur of bone had burst from under her flesh, bleeding dark, dirty blood onto the ice.

As the mare, just a filly really, lay screaming, I turned to the nearest Raider, a wide-eyed colt. “Get me a gun.”

...Oh, sure, now you move fast. Prick.

As I waited for the colt to bring my weapon, I ignored the screams, and purposefully turned in a circle, meeting every eye I could. Not many were happy to have my gaze on them.

The colt returned, carrying a shotgun, and flanked by Latvi, Caber Toss, and Ballbuster. None of them were smiling.

“What’re yeh doin’, Red Ice?!” The tartan Raider’s hoof twitched in the direction of his axe. Sweet Lips and Latvi were silent, though I found myself hating the expression on the scientist’s face.

What are you planning you useless, scheming…

“I’m making an example of an idiot who decided to challenge me, now be quiet and watch!” I gestured to the shaking colt with my shotgun. “Give me that.”

He rushed over, which proved to be his undoing. Hooves slipping on the ice covering the dirt, he slipped and went down. Making a desperate grab for the shotgun as he fell, he just managed to get his hooves around it as he slammed down.

BLAM!!!

The shotgun toppled away as his head exploded.

I just barely managed to close my eyes before a wet chunk slapped me hard across the face. Wiping a hoof across my brow, I opened to my eyes to see a square of flesh with a few teeth still attached, laying in front of me.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! COME ON!” I didn’t really form real words after that point, just animalistic noises, as I scrubbed at my face, dislodging another tooth in the process.

“Snowflake!” Ballbuster called out from beyond the haze filling the corners of my eyes. “Calm yehrself right noo!”

“I. Am. Red. Ice!”

“Whoever yeh are, get yehrself sorted!”

I rounded on her. “Fuck you!” My attention turned to the headless colt. I kicked out at the shotgun, sending it spinning. “Fuck you, too!” Finally, I settled on the now-whimpering Haylander, still stuck in place by her snapped bone. “And fuck you most of all!”

With another shimmer of glacier-blue magic, an icicle burst from her maw, rising a metre in the air with her tongue speared on the tip.

Silence fell on the gathering.

I breathed out a ragged breath. “Finally, some quiet. Her voice was getting on my nerves.”

“Well…” Latvi began.

“Shut up.”

“...what a stunning eulogy for our fallen comrades, Red Ice. Truly you have a way with words.”

I was starting to get anger-shakes now. “Latvi…”

He continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “We’re now down two fighters, and some ammo, all so you could throw a tantrum. Was it worth it?”

“We’ll get more ammo in today’s raid.” I bit out.

Now he smiled, though there was no warmth there. “Except today’s raid isn’t going to happen. The scouts have reported back. There’s no sign of any Plottawan patrols. The only violence we’ll get today is your little show.”

I stamped my hoof furiously, causing a squelch. “What do you mean you idiots can’t find any slavers?”

Affecting a put-upon air, Latvi sighed. “I mean that there are only so many Plottawan slavers in the Wasteland, Snowflake. The majority of them are still back in Plottawa. We have obviously engaged and killed all those in the nearby areas, except for those two you released to send back to Peanut. Now, we could attack Plottawa itself, we certainly have the numbers, but even with the spoils we have taken so far, I doubt we have the necessary equipment.” He paused for a moment to briefly glance at the two dead Raiders. “Especially if we’re going to waste what little we do have on depleting our own forces.”

Glaring, I said nothing.

Shrugging, he turned to Caber Toss and laid a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m terribly sorry about how she’s acting with your Haylanders. She and I have had this conversation before, but it appears that it didn’t stick.”

Every pair of unimpressed eyes turned back to me.

Hate. You. All. “...Fine. We can’t get to the Plottawans, not without more weapons. So… let’s go get some big weapons.”

~~~~~~

It’d been a long, tense two days as my Raider convoy travelled into Steel Ranger territory. We’d taken a long detour around Lethbridle, to avoid getting into a confrontation with the guards that would have undoubtedly broadcast to Neighlway that we were heading in their direction. The trip had been long, and dull, and had soured everybody’s spirits.

I hadn’t cared, being already plenty unhappy before we left.

Upon reaching the outer limits of Ranger territory, there hadn’t been time for any arguing before the explosions started.

I know it’s hard to hide a Raider army this size but I was hoping we’d at least spot them first. Damn scouts are useless.

There were only three Rangers, but they were fully decked out in armour from tip to tail, and had the high ground. Our Raiders were currently trying to get up the hill to get at them, but it wasn’t easy.

“I can’t wait until I get my Memory Orb back.” My offhoof remark drew a grunt from the unicorn watching the battle with me.

“Yes, I’m sure it will be such a relief for you to get back to your humdrum Stable life.” Latvi hadn’t taken his eyes off the fighting. “Oh, they got one.”

The closest Ranger had been reached, and was currently disappearing under a mob of whooping Raiders. “So they did. But that’s not the reason why. I’m not going back to the Stable.”

“No? Why then? Sentiment?” He all but spat the word.

A grim smile spread across my face. “No, because when I get my Memory Orb back, and fixed, it means I get to kill you.”

Surprisingly, he didn’t get angry, or scared. “You think it’ll be that easy, do you?”

“Of course. Since it doesn’t involve the Raiders, it’ll be just you and me, and we both know I can take you.”

“Well if you think that’s all there is to it, then I have nothing to worry about… hmm, this last one is proving quite a challenge.”

The second Ranger was down now, though still alive as the Raiders hammered ineffectually at the full-body protection with hooves and bludgeons. The last one was beset on all sides by howling savages. Their small weaponry couldn’t punch through the armour on its own, but the sheer number of weapons firing into the plating was taking its toll. The Steel Ranger knight had a hoof to the side of their head, trying to shield a crack in the helmet.

Might as well get some practice in. My horn lit up, and finally Latvi did seem affected. He wasn’t my target though, and he breathed a sigh of relief as my Cryo Serpent sped away towards the Ranger.

Better steer clear of our lot. No way am I giving Latvi any more reason to play me off as a bully to the troops.

As I concentrated, I marvelled at how much easier the magic seemed to be coming now. All that practice with Undertow had really paid off.

I felt my lips tug downwards at the thought of her. I have to find her soon. I can’t leave things like this. The magic faltered slightly, and with great reluctance, I pushed Undertow to the back of my mind.

Back on task, my ice reached the Ranger, who didn’t even notice with what was going on around them. Circling up the leg, the frost rounded the flank and crept up the spine of the armour.

Little more now. They’ll never see this coming. At the shoulder, I diverted the flow to travel along the limb that was shielding the gap in the helmet.

Finally, the cold halted on the steel-clad hoof, with the Ranger still none-the-wiser.

“I suppose it’s over then, isn’t it?” Latvi began making his way down towards the battle.

“Yeah, It’s over.” I agreed, giving the final mental command.

My spell leapt into the helmet-hole, and finally got the attention of the Ranger. His panicked cries carried over to me as the ice did its work. “Agh? Agh! EEYAAAA-”

Thrashing about as the magic froze him solid, his agony-filled scream cut off abruptly. Half a second later, he froze in an undignified position as the last of his freedom was taken from him. Stuck in that pose, he toppled over, cold.

“And that’s that. Now I need to talk to one of the other two, while I still can.”

By the time I got down there, having caught up with Latvi, the Raiders had stripped the two surviving Rangers of their weaponry, leaving them as little more than tin soldiers.

“Hello again, boys. I’ve missed your shiny smiles.”

Both of them, from under their dogpile restraints, managed to look up at me with their expressionless steel visages. One said nothing, but the other muttered something too quiet to hear.

I crouched down closer. “Speak up now, we are all very interested in what you have to say.”

“...Four out of ten.”

My eyes shot wide. I started chuckling, then giggling, until finally I was sounding out full-on belly laughs.

What are the chances I’d see this clown again? I wonder if five-of-ten is around anywhere? What was his name again? Stuffy Buns?

Nobody else seemed to be getting the joke, but I didn’t care. I had a chance for some payback for the scores they gave me. “Oh this is a good day for me. What’s your name, fella? I never got it when I was in Neighlway last time.”

His robotic speakers radiated contempt. “I’m not telling you anything, Red Ice.”

“Oh, come on. I’ll be your friend?”

“No.”

“Aw. Well that’s just rude. And here I was gonna pick you to be the one I send back to Neighlway instead of your buddy here.”

“Really?” Caustic disbelief bled from his words.

“No, of course not really. Four out of ten? That’s just mean.” I turned and started walking away. “Kill him, send the other one back as the message.”

~~~~~~

CRACK!!!

“Again?!”

“My dear Sweet Lips, I am so very sorry for the loss of another of your Woodpeckers, and-”

“Suck up later, Latvi! Somebody get this mess cleaned up now, and for Celestia’s sake will you keep these idiots away from the weapons until we need them?!”

“Ey, yeh bunch o’ dafties, listen tae Red Ice! Put the feckin’ guns doon!”

“...and I’m sure we can arrange a funeral once the weapons are secured so this doesn’t happen again.”

“Latvi, SHUT UP!”

“Boohoohoohoo!”

“Aw hell, yeh’ve done it noo. Mah wife’s gonnae be bawlin’ fer hours. Great job, the pair o’ yeh!”

“I don’t fucking care, Caber!”

“Well I do, Caber Toss, and I deeply apologise for mine and Snowflake’s behaviour in this tragedy. Rest assured that I, at least, will do whatever it takes to better the situation… unlike some ponies.”

“Oh to hell with this, I’m out of here. You all make me sick.”

I moved away from the triple act of annoyance that was the Raider leadership besides myself. Shouldering through the gathered masses, I made no attempt to act nice with the Raiders, especially after a second accidental suicide in less than a week.

I passed through the Haylander and Barnstormer troops, moving into the Woodpeckers, who were less than welcoming. In the end I had to physically exert myself just to get through the throng. It soon grew tiresome.

“Move, you jackholes!” Shoulder-slamming one Woodpecker aside, I let my horn light up, not casting any magic, but as a warning. It had the desired effect of sending them scrambling.

Only a few of the Woodpeckers either didn’t notice or didn’t take the hint, and I finally had to brush one aside at the farthest reaches of the camp… or try to anyway. The Raider, tall for a mare but shrouded in rags, barely moved when I tried to shift her, not even looking at me.

“Umph! What are you hepped up on? Move aside.”

“...Alright.” The voice was muffled by the clothing, and was so indistinct that I was left wondering if it was even a mare at all under there. It might just be another idiot Barnstormer trying to get close to a mare or two. They’ll tear him apart if he gets found out. It wasn’t my problem, so I made no move to expose him/her, instead simply stomping around him/her and continuing on my way.

I headed back the way we’d come, hoping that it’d keep me away from any Ranger patrols, or at least any patrols would find the rest of the Raiders first. Still, I didn’t want to go too far, just enough that I could get some peace and quiet and think about things. To that end, I took shelter in a crop of snow-dusted trees. Shivering slightly in the wind, I paced back and forth as I took stock of my situation.

“...These Raiders...MY Raiders...are COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOTS!”

Seriously, it happened twice?

Bucking halfheartedly at the nearest tree trunk, I felt anything but confident in my long term plans for the Raiders. Latvi’s constant pushing was really starting to grate on me. Combining that with the general level of ability for the rest of the Raiders did not paint a pretty picture. They were halfway capable fighters, some of them anyway, especially with Caber Toss and Sweet Lips leading them, but after that? It was pretty much all on me… or it would be after I got around to killing Latvi. He could NOT be allowed to keep doing what he was doing.

Here’s hoping the scouts are close to finding my Memory Orb. I want to be done with him as soon as possible. I fished inside my Sprinkles Supplies gear, momentarily cursing my lack of telekinesis, until I managed to locate and withdraw Sombra’s horn. The moment Latvi’s done with fixing my Orb, I’m gonna ram this through his eye. It’ll serve him right for all he’s put me through.

I hefted the horn between my hooves for a few moments. “I hope he isn’t really the only one who can use this thing. That’d be a giant pain for everybody, especially me… ‘cause he’s an unlikeable dick.”

“Perhaps you are looking for dick in the wrong places.”

Startled, I almost lost my hold on the horn, just managing it before it dropped to the ground. Hastily stuffing it back into the inside pocket, I whirled around to face the one who’d snuck up on me.

The shrouded Raider stood a dozen pony-lengths away, just outside of the crop of trees. He/She seemed utterly unconcerned with being out in the open, even here in Neighlway’s territory.

“What do you want? Get back to the others.” Gnashing my teeth, my displeasure at being followed was obvious.

Impassively, the shrouded Raider didn’t respond for a moment, just stared. It was somewhat unnerving. Blink once in a while, why don’t you?

Finally they spoke, though their words were still too muffled to clue me in to the identity of this Raider, or even the gender. “What if I don’t want to go back to the others? What if I want to spend some time with you?” This was accompanied with a single step forward, the intention clear.

Instantly, I was both on-my-guard and tickled by the gall of this Raider. “Really? You think Red Ice would give you the time of day? I’ve got hundreds more like you to worry about, so what makes you think you’re special? I don’t even know what your name is, and I certainly don’t care.”

A soft chuckle emerged from beneath the folds. “Yes you do.” One hoof rose to their head, and began unwrapping the covering.

I took a step forward myself. “Alright, that’s enough. You’ve had your fun, and you can even brag to your buddies that you got the drop on me, but this is as far as you go. Go back to the others. I won’t tell you again.”

He/She didn’t pause in their unwrapping. “What will you do if I don’t?”

I couldn’t tell whether they were amused or giving attitude. Either way, I wasn’t going to put up with it. The air around us got colder as my horn glowed. “If you don’t, I’ll show you how I got my name.”

“Which one?”

Momentarily stunned, I struggled to respond. “Which…what do you mean ‘which one’?! The only one that matters to you!”

“You will have to be more specific…” The rags covering the Raider’s face dropped away with a shake of her head. “...mistress.”

The only sound that followed was the rags flopping to the ground. I had no words to counter her smile. Schwarzwald just stood there, grinning confidently. Speechless, I searched her scarred face for any clue as to how she got here, or why she was disguised as a Raider at all.

The wood-brown mare stretched as she removed the rest of her Raider disguise. “Ah, much better. I do not believe that these ponies pay enough attention to their personal hygiene. The smell is… noticeable.”

“I… but… what you doing here?”

“It is a pleasure to see you too, Snowflake. We have missed you since you left.”

No. Not this time. You’re not dodging my questions again! “Answer me, Schwarzwald! Why are you here? Why are you spying on my Raiders? Did Amber send you?” Or Watcher?

She halted her stretching. “‘Your Raiders’. An interesting choice of words.” She looked as if she was going to say something more, but abruptly changed topic. “No, Snowflake, Amber did not send me, and I am not spying on the Raiders. I came to see you.”

I gave her a side-cocked glance. “Me? Why?”

Her smile lessened. “I wanted to see for myself just how your enterprise was progressing. You have done something few would have even attempted, Snowflake.”

Chest swelling, I couldn’t help but feel pleased with myself. “Thanks. It’s been a little rough going, but I’m glad to know that the results are impressive.”

There was no trace of her smile at all now. Her forest-green eyes seemed to sink back into her face. “Ah, my apologies. You took what I said as a compliment.”

Here we go. “Wasn’t it?” I forced the words through gritted teeth.

“I am afraid not, dahling. When I said that others would not attempt to form a Raider alliance, I meant to say that others would not waste the energy on such a fool’s errand.”

“Oh, so I’m a fool now?” My snapped remark somehow reignited her smile.

“You were always a fool, dear Snowflake, but not like this. Your foolishness was charming, and was a part of who you are. This? This is not what I foresaw for your future.”

Exasperated, I blew some mane-strands out of my eyes. “Oh fantastic, somebody else who has an idea about what I should be doing with my life. That’s just what I wanted. Of course there’s just no chance that I might have ideas about that without other people butting in.”

“Is it such a bad thing that others care about you?”

“That’s not what this is about!”

“Perhaps not.” The smile returned. “Perhaps it is just fun to meddle.”

I wanted to smack that smile off her face so badly. I almost did it too, or tried to, at least. My hooves squared and I bared my teeth. “I decide my future, not you. Not anybody else!”

If anything, Schwarzwald seemed merely confused by my outburst. Her brow creased and she was staring into my eyes with rapt attention. “The colour is beautiful, Snowflake, but how did you get those eyes?”

Oh damn, are they glowing again? “A present from an old soul.”

She nickered girlishly. “How mysterious. And you wonder why I have such an interest in you, dahling.”

Grunting, I relaxed. “And just like that, you’re back to your jokes. Why should anybody take you seriously, Schwarzwald?”

“Because I have lived as long as I have, dahling.” The matter-of-fact tone drove straight through my irritation. “I have seen death, and life, and everything in between. I came to see you today because I feel that I will not see you live much longer if you continue down this path.”

“How would you know? You said yourself that I’m the only one who’s ever tried this.” Why does everybody keep stepping on my pride?

“I do not know, Snowflake, but I accept it as a possibility. You should too. I would much rather you quit while you are ahead. Red Ice does not have to be what you have turned her into. Your time with our friends has proven that.”

That was exactly the wrong thing to say. “I am Red Ice! I decide what she should be! Not you, or any of the others!”

“And what about Snowflake? What happens to her while Red Ice has her fun?”

“They’re the same person.”

“Can you still claim that? Snowflake is sweet, and she has such interesting adventures with me and our friends. Red Ice is harsh, and angry, and she spends her time with dullard Raiders... and the wrong unicorn. Where is she, Snowflake?”

The sudden lump in my throat stalled my response. “She… I don’t know. Naiara took her away while I was…” I paused, not ready to reveal that I’d been back to the Stable yet. “...while I was dealing with something else. She’s safe with her.”

“That is not where either of you are supposed to be, dahling.”

“What do you want me to say?” I swiped at my sudden tears. “I can’t bring her back here, not now. This isn’t the life she deserves.”

Schwarzwald shrugged, her wood-brown hooves waving listlessly. “If you know all that, then why are you still here?”

“...She’ll be safe with the others, her and Naiara both. Wings will keep them safe. She got Bosco out of Whinniepeg, and she’s the one who worked so hard for the twins. The others need her more than they need me.”

I couldn’t meet her gaze for more than a moment. Schwarzwald’s expression, so different than her usual good cheer, weighed on me like a lead block. “You cannot believe that, Snowflake. You do more for her than it seems, for all of them…”

She turned to leave. “...and if you can no longer see that, then I shall have to remind you.”

~~~~~~