“…When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done, help me leave behind some reason to be missed…” The scarlet colt sang dramatically, this song meant a lot to him and he wanted somepony he cared for to hear it. Vinyl Scratch sat down at a table, close to Kickback, her large red eyes never straying from the hooded stallion at the end of the bar. The room fell quieter than before as most of the crowds’ attention was focused on the red pony.

“…And don‘t resent me and when you‘re feeling empty, keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest…” The white unicorn eye sight began to fog as she registered the lyrics. Kickback closed his eyes as he gritted his teeth slightly, pouring all his emotion into the music. Eagle smiled as he watched the scene play out, everything from the stallion on the keyboard to the very intrigued unicorn in the front to the climatic tension radiating in the bar, he chuckled with a sense of utter peace.

“…Forgetting all the hurt inside you’ve learned to have so well…pretending somepony else can’t come and save me from myself…I can’t be who you are…” Kickback’s head arose as his eyes groggily opened, his green irises locked with the tear filled look in Vinyl’s crimson eyes, his own vision became cloudy in that brief second between the two verses. He stared down at her as she stared back from the table, a confused, saddened yet…was that joy in her expression? Everything around the two began to fade again, to them, it was just the scarlet stallion up on the instrument, looking down and the unicorn staring back in a black void. Kickback had never quite felt this way before, it was a mix of happiness and sorrow in his heart and mind. Of all places she could’ve have been, it had to be here, didn’t it?

“…I can’t be who you are…” at that, Kickback’s hoof struck the last note, the song ended with a dramatic reconcealing of his face under his hood as he bowed. A stoic frown was all that was visible through the shade of his attire, the bar went silent as the stallion and mare’s perceptions of reality returned. Suddenly a loud cheering radiated noisily throughout the bar, anypony could be sure that the ponies down the street (trying to sleep) could hear very clearly. At the sound, Kickback did his best to give an appreciative smirk to the ponies in the bar before trotting to the side, towards Eagle. The familiar feeling of compliments and respect was what he should’ve felt at that time but he just didn’t, Vinyl was in the crowd somewhere, that was enough as a reason as any to get a drink. The hooded stallion lacked the egotistical nature of most ponies, especially his old cyan friend that, for all he knew…and almost hoped, just forgot about him. Little did he know that the elements of harmony’s train was close to it’s next stop: Hoofington.

The train ride went much like it had already, Applejack and Rainbow Dash sat opposite to one another as the other four kept to themselves, glancing occasionally at the two athletic mares. It wasn’t too long before Applejack seemed to be taking glances at the pegasus every so often, some looks were ones of sympathy and concern others…seemed a bit distasteful. Dash started doing the same thing after a moment, about half an hour of this had passed before the earth pony got to her hooves and trotted to the other side of the train before sitting down next to Rainbow, giving her a respective distance on the seat. Dash looked at her for a moment  before turning her head back to the window, AJ looked a little unsure, like she wanted to say something, something important but she couldn’t for Celestia knows why.

“Hey, nice job, Kickback!” Eagle said with enthusiasm and a new found sign of respect.

“Whiskey…” the hooded stallion almost whispered.

“What?”

“I said…Whis-key” Kickback spoke with a venomous tinge, much to Eagle’s confusion and discomfort.

“Al-alright, coming right up” the bartender said with a hint of concern before ducking his head under the bench, the sounds of glasses clanging together, the only sound he emitted. Kickback waited impatiently, in his own way, irritated, he rested his head on a hoof as the other tapped the wooden surface in annoyance.

Vinyl had watched him, the red coated, jacketed stallion, that SAME colt that she had known throughout the past year and further. Once in the crowd and out of her vision, she turned away and stared at her hooves in disbelief, mouth agape and wide, teary red eyes. The white unicorn’s thoughts took on a frantic pace of overwhelming ideas.

Sweet Celestia he’s here, why is he here? Did he see me? Of course he saw me, he was staring right at me, What should I do? Should I talk to him? Should I leave? I-I don’t know if I can see him again…No, he’s a calm guy but what should I say? ‘Hey look, you’re the stallion that I have a HUGE crush on and also turned out to have shape-shifting powers that you used to save Ponyville, how ya been?’ yeah, that’ll work…

A few moments passed before Vinyl looked up again, there he was, sitting at the bar. The bartender arose form his position and set down a glass to pour a drink, in an instant, Kickback jolted the liquid to his muzzle and slammed it back down with a sigh and grunt. Vinyl bit her lip at the image as Eagle poured another drink for the hooded stallion.

“He doesn’t look very happy…is it me?” Vinyl spoke aloud, not catching the attention of anypony around.

“Maybe I should just leave…No, no, that’s not the right thing to do, I need to speak to him” with that, Vinyl arose to her hooves and began to trot towards the bar, more specifically: Kickback.

When she reached him, she sat on the stool closest to him, all the while, never her eyes leave his image. Even though his eyes were concealed and he maintained his stance, she knew he knew she was there, staring at him.  

“K-Kickback?” she stuttered, she had hoped she wouldn’t become nervous but that was apparently not the case.

“Hey, Vinyl…” he replied, a hint of sorrow clouding his tone as he spoke quietly before gulping down another drink with distaste. He sighed as he rested his head on his folded hooves that laid upon the wooden bench, Vinyl continued to stare at him, wondering what to say or how to react.

“K-Kickback, I-…that was beautiful…what you did up there…that was-…” she managed before trailing off.

“Thanks…” after that, the two fell silent, Kickback had nothing to say that would make everything alright and Vinyl had nothing to say that didn’t sound insensitive. Watching the stallion take swig after swig of alcohol made her courage increase for some reason, after a long moment, she spoke again.

“Let’s talk outside” she said, the hooded stallion glanced up at her. He felt surprised at how determined the mare looked, he shrugged and set his latest glass down before following the DJ to the door. He opened it for her, a gesture she found rather kind of heart, she nodded which was received with a stoic version of her sign. The two walked up the street for a moment, keeping silent the whole way before Vinyl turned to him, he paused and stared back.

“Vinyl, I-…why did you bring me out here?”

“Thinking’ ‘bou ‘im?” Applejack inquired, at the sound of her voice, the four other mares glanced at where their two friends were in anticipation. Dash looked at her without turning her head, indication of spite.

“What do you think? Remember the reason why we’re doing this? What else is there to think about in this situation?” Rainbow spat out in angst.

“Hey, I’m worried too, sugarcube” AJ retorted, not caring for her winged friend’s change of tone. Dash rolled her eyes before returning to her previous position.

“Still mad at you for kissing him…” Rainbow mumbled.

“Are you serious, Dash, that’s what’s got ya ticked?”

“Yeah, actually…” the pegasus replied angrily, quickly coming face-to-face with the earth-pony once more. At that, AJ felt defensive, perhaps too much for her own good.

“What made you think you could just go ahead and kiss him?!”

“Ya don’t own him, Dash…he didn’t seem to offended anyway”

“He obviously wasn’t interested either! I saw him leave!”

“He didn’t say that! He just said he couldn’t!…“AJ’s expression shifted to one of sorrow “…with anypony”. At that, Dash welted also, for the entirety of their friendship, she did notice that he really didn’t seem intrigued by any thought of romance, no matter what mare would imply it, joke or not.

“Yeah, I know…still though” Rainbow finally replied before staring out the window once more as AJ trotted back to her seat in respect.    

“I-I…what are you doing here?” the unicorn asked in a rather outraged tone of voice.

“I’m…looking for somepony”

“Who?!”  

“Why do you care?” Kickback’s voice took on a stern tone.

“Because-…because-…” at that, the scarlet stallion watched as she hung her head, lips quivering, eyes clamped shut. Kickback remained silent as he slowly reached a hoof to his head, grasping the end of his hood and pulling it back, letting his mane stand out aswell as his ears. Vinyl glanced up at his exposed face and brought her head back to look him in the eye once more. She did for a split second before he turned his head away, refusing to make eye contact “Kickback I-…” she was cut off as Kickback began to talk through deep, saddened breaths.

“Vinyl…I’m sorry…I truly am but…you can’t be around me…I…I’m not a pony, let alone a stallion, I’m a virus…a sentient virus, that’s all I am…but because of you, Dash, AJ, Lyra, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, Octavia and everypony else…for a moment there, I thought I was more than that, I thought I could be more than that but…I just can’t, that’s not an option for me, Vinyl…I’m a monster…and that’s who I am”

As the unhooded colt finished, tears welled up in the unicorn’s eyes, throughout his entire statement, he hadn’t looked at her. He kept his head lowered, eyes cloudy and half lidded with a stoic frown on his muzzle. A long silence hung over the two equines, after a while, Kickback heard his friend, his dear friend, sob and sniffle as the quiet atmosphere drug on. The scarlet stallion clenched his eyes shut, gritting his teeth slightly as his heart sank to the bottomless pit of his chest. He knew this mare cared for him, more than she should for her own good and that just made the situation more unbearable for him, he could hardly how she was taking it. When he felt that it was time, he heard Vinyl choke up, trying to keep herself from crying uncontrollably, he was about to speak as he lifted his head up but was immediately cut off.

“I don’t care!!” that single exclamation caused him to pause as did the sight. He caught a quick glimpse of her teary eyes before he was rushed. Vinyl quickly enveloped him in a hug, wrapping her front hooves around his neck, squeezing him, as if for dear life. She sobbed, causing her tears to dampen his jacket, Kickback hesitantly rested a singular hoof on her back, patting ever so slightly to show his sorrowful understanding. “Kickback, I don’t care what you are! I care about who are!” she yelled, almost into his ear if she hadn’t been practically shoving her muzzle into his shoulder. “I-I…I think I love you, Kickback” she managed to get out before she buried her face into him once more. The crimson colt’s heart sank lower as his mind became unfocused with barraging thoughts. Vinyl began talking through choked sobs “Ever since that snowball fight last year, I-…I’ve been feeling-…I’ve been thinking about-…I’ve always thought you were cute and-…I-…I love you” she managed to say. At the sound of all this, there was never a time when Kickback hated himself as he did now, he loathed what he was more than he ever had before. All it took was for somepony to truly care for him, never had he wanted anypony to outright say that they loved him, he knew what he had to do. This very moment made a question pop up in his mind, a very ironically rarely thought that pierced his psyche. He decided to import the phrase into his next sentence but Celestia be damned that he didn’t want to say what he had to, do what he needed to do.

“Vinyl, I’m sorry but I can’t, we can’t…I wish I could explain it better than that but trust…If only I was a pony” that was the question: If only he was a pony? The things he could do, the things that would be offered, the things that would be taken. His sister would still be alive, Grimlock would still be a normal stallion but if he was a pony, he would’ve never come to Ponyville, never slain that dragon that would hurt Rarity. He wouldn’t be there to stop the changelings, he would’ve never met Vinyl, Dash or Applejack, let alone Lyra in the first place. Even with all this reasoning, there was still one, undeniable fact or rather an act. Kickback was reborn in a morgue, he killed several ponies, griffins and even a minotaur up until coming to Ponyville, on the first day in town, he killed two manticores. He was a predator, he murdered Chrysalis and most of her subjects, he killed the real Kickback’s father and ex-girlfriend, he allowed GENTEK enough time to make a second and that second was the bastard that murdered the…real Kickback’s sister.

Suddenly the thought crept into mind, Vinyl still sobbed into his jacket as his brain journeyed through the darkest corners of his psyche. He had referred to Dana as the REAL Kickback’s sister, he had just questioned his very identity but did he really have one or at least just one. He had used an innocent pegasus to sneak aboard a train, sure he had killed Cross but does two wrongs make a right?

Every time this idea would seeped into his mind, he asked himself whether or not he should change his name, illegally, of course. Luckily the thought hadn’t crossed his mind in months, maybe a couple of years but now that it was back, the train of thought continued to move.

In his distraught state, he looked down at the hoof that rested on the sobbing mare’s back and stared at it. His eyebrows slowly lowered, his dark green eyes flaring red as he gritted his teeth, he lifted the hoof off the unicorn, she didn’t seem to acknowledge it and just kept crying. Kickback felt such rage, all directed at himself, he saw a pulse of glowing red flow through the veins in his lower foreleg, his shapeshifting abilities were always affected by anger and that was something he definitely had. As he glared at the end of his leg, raised to his eye, he growled through his teeth, forgetting that the unicorn was still on his shoulder. Vinyl stopped sobbing as her eyes opened in confusion, the sounds of him grunting caught her ears, she backed up slightly to see him staring death at his hoof.

Kickback barely noticed the absence of the mare as his hate became to consume him. Vinyl Scratch watched in shock as several of thin, long black tendrils began to lap at his hoof, swarming around the entirety of his leg. Her red irises switched frantically between his eyes and hoof, his teeth were barred and despite the rage in his…red eyes? That caught her attention, his normally dark green pools were replaced by eerie, glowing red ones. Although she saw pure anger, she could see he was on the verge on tears as he crimson eyes, brighter than her own, had a glass-like cloudy look. He began to choke up through his grunting, indication of his sadness. Something dawned on Vinyl at that moment, she didn’t know whether it was confidence, bravery or concern, regardless, she acted.

Kickback continued to stare at the infected limb, he hated it, he hated what it could do, he remembered everything he did with it as he watched the tendrils flare almost furiously at his hoof. Just as he was about to reach the critical point of his rage, he clenched his eyes…but before he did anything, he felt something. His eyes snapped open in confusion only to spot a singular white hoof on his own, the tendrils retracted calmly into his body as he followed the foreleg up to a beautiful white face. It was her, Vinyl Scratch, a smile, of all things, a smile was on her muzzle albeit a small one but none the less. Her eyes were teary, dampening her coat as her mane was frazzled, more than usual. Before he could say anything, she leaned in, wordlessly, her eyes slowly closing as he just stared at her, motionless and confused. Kickback felt her lips gently press against his own, the scarlet stallion felt something in that moment, was it safety? Security? Regardless, it was a new feeling, a welcomed one at that. Vinyl gingerly kissed him, unlike that time on Nightmare Night, instead of a hungry and passionate predator, the DJ seemed…protective almost, in that very moment, time just paused for the two ponies. After what felt like an eternity, Vinyl pulled back slowly, locking eyes with him.

“I already told you…I don’t care what you are, I care about who you are…you’re my friend…I know you, Kickback and-…and I love you” she said, the very words echoed his brain. The scarlet colt processed her statement, as he did so, a sense of understanding and hope seeped into his senses. It then fully dawned on him that throughout the entirety of his time in Ponyville, everypony just thought of him as another pony and with that, just assumed that there was nothing wrong with him. Unlike himself, he almost constantly loathed himself, mostly when he was alone or not speaking. The didn’t however, they came to care for a normal stallion, little did they know but regardless. Because of that, they grew close, perhaps too close, the one he was afraid of when it came to other ponies, innocent ones at least. Truth be told though, he cared for them too, not just his friends but the town’s folk in general, he had protected them, manticores, dragons and changelings alike, who knows if that one winged lion on the night of his arrival wouldn’t have snatched some other pony instead.

At this thought, Kickback began to understand, better than ever of how ponies around him saw him. Unfortunately, this also meant that he had a better comprehension of how they reacted on the day he exposed himself. Not only did they see the stallion in his most animalistic, monstrous nature, they knew him, befriended him, cared about him and watched him turn into that-…that-…thing. Kickback visibly grimaced at the image in his head before returning to the original thought, Vinyl and from what he could tell, everypony, didn’t QUITE seemed to care about his genetic makeup. The white mare in front of him stood silent, staring at him in anticipation, waiting for his answer as she took notice of his thoughtful look, plastered on his face.

It was weird actually.

After nearly a minute of silence between the two, in the darkness capped with the faint glow of Luna’s moon, Vinyl tried to say something.

“Kickback, are you-” was all she managed before the red pony jolted forward, lunging his forelegs around her in order for them to wrap around her neck and shoulders. It was a quick motion that left her stunned, she felt a warm weight on her shoulder, she looked down to see Kickback, resting his head on her while his hooves tightened ever so slowly as his eyes clenched a moment. Stunned, she just stood there, staring at him, he was taller than her but he held onto her small body like none had done before. His hold was subtle, gentle, he just stood there, hugging her, she could feel the fabric of his clothes on her coat aswell as…tears? Dropping on her white fur.

“Thankyou…” he whispered “I-…I love you too…” Next Chapter: Labor of Love Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 19 Minutes