For quite some time we walked in silence, the warming weather and intermittent sunlight working to dry off body and clothing alike. The silence that had fallen over the two of us was fairly disconcerting, and so I tried a few attempts at starting some form of conversation, but all my attempts died in my throat. The miles seemed to vanish before us as we walked, and soon we were on the road heading back to the house. I stopped abruptly as I finally mustered up the courage to speak.

“Dash, what are we going to tell the others? Not that I have a problem with what we did, but... I don’t know, it just seems like I’m doing something wrong, somehow.” Dash stopped walking as I spoke, and she turned to look at me. “I mean, given what Pinkie said last night, it was like she wanted to be in the position you were in an hour ago. How do I --”

“Relax, Icarus. I may not be the best at talking about emotions and stuff, but when it comes to talking to the girls I’m pretty damn good.”

I raised an eyebrow. “As good as your flying?”

She just laughed at that. “Pfft, no. Flying is who I am. Talking about what we did in the jungle is something that I’m just going to make up on the fly. Trust me, though. It’ll be fine.” As she finished she continued making her way to the house, leaving me looking up at the sky, slowly shaking my head. After a moment of silent contemplation I followed in Dash’s footsteps, gradually decreasing the distance to the house.

When the house came into view I stopped my walk, allowing me to simply look at the building. I groaned as I resumed my pace, the last few hundred feet seeming to take as long as the rest of the walk. When I opened the door I peeked around it before I walked in. The silence that greeted me was both a comfort and a cause for concern. With as much haste as I could muster I made my way to my room, closing the door as I entered, making sure to lock it.

Stripping off my now dry clothing I grabbed a towel and headed to my shower. The soothing spray of water allowed for me to clear my mind, and by the time I finished I was feeling better about what Dash had said.

She doesn’t make a boast unless she can follow up on it. If she’s confident that she can handle this then who am I to think I know better?

Getting dressed again was a momentary diversion, and I was soon heading down the hall towards the stairs. As I passed by Dash’s room I was fairly certain that I heard voices coming from the other side, but I didn’t linger very long, the urge to listen beaten by the moral principles I held to. I walked to the kitchen after reaching the ground floor, making a beeline for the refrigerator. The absence of breakfast had left me with a hunger that needed to be sated. My rummaging rewarded me with an apple and an orange, which was good enough for me.

I took my victuals to the balcony that was past the living room, and I was soon sitting at the table, my feet propped up, the apple and orange in my hand. The sounds of the distant ocean did wonders to soothe my mind, and I began to drift off. A sudden shout shattered my reverie, and I turned to look over my shoulder, expecting to see one of the girls storming out. After waiting for a minute, and there was no one leaving the house, I went back to my relaxation, the refreshing ocean air blowing against my face.

(Chapter 5 Supplemental)

As I was finishing my orange, after having devoured the apple, there was the sound of footsteps in the house, and I looked over my shoulder once more. The girls all seemed amicable enough, but I’d been around them long enough to know how to read even the small amount of tension that pervaded the atmosphere. It probably wouldn’t escalate into a full blown fight, but things would be less than pleasant until this had blown over. Oddly enough, or perhaps expectedly, Dash and Fluttershy didn’t come down. Considering how close the two of them are it’s not too surprising that they’d choose to remain together for the time being.

Applejack was the first to notice me on the balcony and she decided to come over, grabbing an apple from the fridge first. She took a seat next to me, mirroring my posture, and casually taking a bite from her apple. She didn’t say anything, but, with Applejack, words weren’t necessary. Her simple presence was enough to get people to start talking when they felt that the silence had gone on long enough. However, I didn’t fit in with ‘most people.’ Long bouts of silence in my study had inured me to the social awkwardness that people often felt in these situations.

As she finished her apple she let out a quick sigh before she stood, and went inside. I let her go, knowing that she wasn’t leaving for long. No matter how quiet things were, Applejack always said something before she left, whether it was a formal goodbye, or a casual departure. When she returned she had a bottle of fancy beer, and two glasses in the other hand. Without a word she put the glasses on the table, and then the bottle just behind the glasses. I glanced at the beer, and noted with a smile that Applejack had chosen my favorite brew.

“Good to see that you know what I like, AJ.” She simply nodded before returning to her seat, adopting the same posture she had held before.

More than an hour passed before the next word was spoken between the two of us, and it was Applejack who finally spoke. “I’ve been wondering, Icarus. What do you do in Ponyville while the girls and I are out and about? I mean, aside from working on those technical drawings of yours.”

“Oh, all sorts of things. I daydream, I sleep, I eat, I shop, the list is nearly endless,” I siad, maintaining a serious expression. Applejack just frowned. “Fine. I think about all sorts of things, and I try to socialize about town. I also work, quite a bit more than you girls might think, but what I do pales in comparison to what you do. Still, I spend quite a bit of time with my hands full.”

“And what did you do in your spare time before you came to Ponyville? Or, better, what did you do in your spare time while you were in Manehattan?”

“That’s quite the question, AJ. You want the long answer, or the short one?”

“Somewhere in between the two. We have some time, but not all the time in the world. Fluttershy said that she was going to start making some dinner once she finished her little talk with Dash.

I nodded. “Fair enough. Before I start, how about we crack open the Chimay. Good stories need good company... And plenty of liquid courage.” A couple minutes later and the bottle was open, and each glass filled. “Now then, things I did for fun, you asked?”

Applejack took a drink before she looked over at me. “Not just fun, anything you did in whatever spare time you had.”

“Well, one of the things I did the most often was just spending time walking the streets of the city. To see all those people, all of them with such a purpose to their stride. Rarely would any two people stop to talk to one another. The individual neighborhoods were different, but in the busier parts of the city it was all business. That’s where I always had the most fun, though. I’d find a good spot, sit back, and watch.”

“You’d just watch people? Isn’t that kind of creepy?”

“If you’re in Ponyville, yes. In Manehattan, no. Back in Ponyville we all know each other. If there’s someone just standing there watching everything it seems kind of strange. Now, in Manehattan, people are too busy with what they’re doing to notice something like a person just standing there and watching. It’s just not a factor in their lives. And it wasn’t even like I was watching one person. I was watching the communal whole.” I paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to give Applejack a good comparison before I remembered that she had been to Manehattan. “AJ, when you went to Manehattan, how did it feel to be in a crowd?”

“Like I was being swept along by the currents, without anyone caring where I went in the progress.”

“Exactly. Now, imagine standing back and watching it take place. To see the gentle changes in crowd dynamics. To watch as the endlessly moving columns of people slowly shifted to the ever changing environment. I loved to watch that. I sometimes did it for hours, simply allowing the flow of the crowd be the guiding force for my thoughts.” I took a small drink of my beer before I continued. “But that wasn’t the only thing I did.”

As I was about to continue Fluttershy walked onto the balcony, an apron wrapped about her. “Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to know how hungry the two of you are. I don’t want to accidently make too much.”

I gave her a smile. “I’m quite hungry, actually. What are you making?”

“Well I’m making a salad, with cranberries and orange wedges. Dash is making some steaks.” I slowly lowered my glass to the table, looking at Fluttershy with a look of doubt on my face. “It’s okay, Icarus. I’ll be making sure that it doesn’t turn out like last time.”

Applejack gave a quick laugh before she gave an answer. “I’m pretty hungry, Fluttershy. And I hope that you keep a close eye on Dash’s cooking. I can’t eat charcoal.” She only blushed a bit as she turned and headed back inside. “Now then, Icarus. You were saying?”

“Yeah, crowd watching was just a diversion for when I didn’t want to do anything practical, or constructive. Although it was something I did quite a bit more often than I should’ve. Sometimes I would just spend the days hanging out with my friends, roaming the city and causing trouble. We were... Troublemakers. We never did anything serious, if that’s what you’re thinking. Still, we often took advantage of the practical applications of spray paint when it comes to graffiti.” I chuckled as some vivid memories came back. “Still can’t believe that we got away as many times as we did.”

“You were a vandal?”

“Wow, what a negative term. We were artists with atypical canvases, seeking to share what we saw with the world. Honestly, who wants to pay to see the kind of art that fancy people like, when you can wander the streets and see art that’s better than some stupid museum piece.”

“I suppose, but it’s still not allowed.”

I chuckled for several minutes before I managed to compose myself. “That’s the exact argument I gave to my dad when I got caught. And his response matched yours perfectly.” I frowned for a moment as I thought about my dad.

“Seems like he was a reasonable man. What was he like?”

“Quiet, most of the time. He got the most animated when we were doing something together. Entire days passed between the two of us without a word shared, but then we’d spend an entire day doing stuff and neither of us could shut up for five minutes.” I looked at my empty glass for a moment. “Those days were always my favorite. We’d talk, and talk, and talk, with hardly a thing actually being said. We’d just talk for the sake of having company. Don’t get me wrong, we had times when we’d hold serious conversations, but most of the time it was idle chatter.”

“I know the feeling. Mac and I do that sometimes. Big Mac isn’t the most talkative guy around, but there are some days when he just won’t stop talking to me, or Apple Bloom. He’d talk for hours and hours without really saying much of anything.” She put her glass on the table before filling both our glasses again. “I remember none of what we said, but I wouldn’t trade away what we did for the world. Like you said, it was simply for the sake of having the company. Of having someone to talk to.”

I gladly accepted my now full glass, noting with a smile the fact that Applejack poured a perfect glass of beer. “I just wish, sometimes, that we had those days more often. It’s not like my dad was incapable of it. According to some of his friends he just wouldn’t shut up before I was born. He’d go on and on about how great his inventions would be, and how much he’d change the world. Then I was born, mom left, and he just stopped.”

Applejack paused mid drink at the mention of my mother. In all the time I’d been in Ponyville I’d never once mentioned her. “To hear my dad talk about her... I swear, it was like he met his soulmate. I only saw a picture of her once. It was one my dad kept in his study. The two of them could talk for hours about any topic. It was like they were made for each other.”

Applejack spoke softly, clearly cautious of saying the wrong thing. “Did... Did she die?”

“No. And that’s what bothers me the most. Dad always said that he’d tell me when he was ready, and when the time was right.” I fell silent as I simply looked out towards the ocean. Applejack didn’t breach the silence and so time passed the way it does, and soon the sun was sinking beneath the horizon, lengthening the shadows of the sparse palm trees.

“Hey you two, dinner’s ready. And I didn’t burn anything this time!” Applejack and I both turned at the words, and Dash was looking at us with a big smile on her face. “Now let’s eat, I’m starving.”

Applejack stood before I did, taking her glass and the bottle of Chimay with her, leaving me alone on the balcony for a moment. I stood stretching for several moments after Applejack went in, the long bout of sitting leaving me just a bit stiff. After my stretch I grabbed my glass, and I turned and headed inside, closing the door as I passed through it.

The table wasn’t set elaborately, but a vase of flowers sitting in the center of the table gave it a nice appeal. The girls had taken seats around the table leaving a spot open for me between Dash and Rarity. I gladly took the seat that was available and soon we were eating the magnificent food Fluttershy and Dash had prepared.

The beginning of the meal passed in silence as everyone present simply ate the food that was available. As we started to slow down in our meal, Twilight finally spoke up. “So, Icarus, Dash, how was your run this morning? You were out for quite a while.”

I was, luckily, not eating or drinking anything when she asked her question, because I’m fairly certain that, given the sharp intake of breath I made, I would've sucked anything into my lungs. I looked up from my plate to glance at Dash before I looked over at Twilight. Dash was busying herself with her plate, leaving it to me to answer the question.

“It was nice, Twi.” I carefully grabbed my glass and I looked at the contents of it before looking back at Twilight. “It was quite... invigorating. We saw some really amazing sights while we ran, and even when we stopped for some breaks.” I made sure to keep a level voice as I spoke, knowing all too well that Applejack would jump on any kind of change in how I spoke. “It was as much a workout in cardio as it was... endurance. And, I gotta say, I need to work on just how long I can last.”

Dash was quick to jump in with a follow up to what I said. “Yeah, I’ll say. For the first part you didn’t last long at all.” When she realized what she said, she was quick to go back to playing with the food left on her plate, the blush on her face nearly as bright as the lock of red hair atop her head. I gave a shake of my head before I looked at the rest of the girls at the table, frowning when I saw that all the girls were blushing and looking at the room around us.

“Right, well, since things have taken a turn for the awkward, and even I can tell that you all know far more than I’d like you to, I’m going to go for a walk, or something.” As I spoke I picked up my plate before heading to the kitchen and depositing my dirty dishes in the sink. Just as I was opening the door to head out I heard the sound of footsteps in the dining room, and a moment later Twilight came to the door, a small smile on her face.

“I’ll go with you, if you like.”

“Because that worked out so well when I went with Pinkie... But, fine. But none of your mind games. I am taking this walk purely to give myself time to think.” As the door closed behind Twilight I started making my way back down the road I had come up not too long ago. The sun had since set behind the horizon, plunging the world into the dark of night. The moon was nearly full, though, so it wasn’t terribly dark.

Dash had to have told them all what happened... That, or the girls are all way more perceptive than I’ve given them credit for.

A glance at Twilight showed that she was enraptured by the night sky, and I let out a small sigh of relief for that. Of all the girls, Twilight was the one I got along with the best. She was fully capable of holding an in depth conversation about the various inventions that I made, and she was also great for discussion about theoretical, or hypothetical, scenarios. And she was a beautiful sight to behold, which was always pleasant.

As we neared the outskirts of town I started guiding us down the roads of the town, my destination decided upon. Twilight gently cleared her throat as we walked past the restaurant that we had eaten at yesterday.

I slowed my pace just a bit as I looked at her. “Yes, Twilight?” My tone was genuinely inquisitive, and I think that I surprised her slightly as she widened her eyes.

“Oh, nothing. I was just... Just clearing my throat.” I raised an eyebrow before I shifted my gaze forward once more. The roads wound their way through the town and soon enough Twilight and I had passed through the whole town, walking up the paths that led to the overlook that was my destination. When we reached the peak of the small rise that was the overlook I noted, with no small amount of amusement, that there were several couples up here. They were all holding hands or looking into each others’ eyes with dopey looks on their faces.

With Twilight following I started making my way towards one of the benches that was near the cliffside. While the view would be nice from that spot, I chose it because it was also well separated from the slew of couples that dotted the area. As I planted myself on the bench Twilight approached the cliffside, looking out towards the distant horizon.

For several long minutes she simply stood there, the silence persisting like it did since the restaurant. With a tiny sigh she moved to the bench, taking a seat beside me. She didn’t look at me, but I could tell that she wanted to.

“Dash told us. In case you didn’t figure that out from our reaction.”

“Yeah, I, uh... I figured that out.”

“Do...” She trailed off for a moment, the sounds of the distant waves filling the pause. “Do you want to talk about it? Or anything, really. We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.”

“I really think that I’ve done enough talking for today, Twi. Between Dash and Applejack I’ve shared quite a bit already.” I fiddled with the watch about my wrist as I spoke, my words coming faster than I could think. “And it’s not like there’s anything you don’t know about it. Dash and I had sex, and the first thing she does when we get back is brag to all of you.”

“Icarus, it wasn’t like that.”

Her words set off something inside me. An anger that I didn’t even realize I was bottling up. “Oh? What about that whole dare... challenge... thing that all of you had? Or is it still going? Is there a prize for second, and third place? Hmm? Trying to make me feel better, or something?” She opened her mouth to reply, but I kept going, my volume remaining the same, but my tone growing more and more aggressive. “I’ve been around Ponyville for two years, going on three, and it’s only now that any of you decide to show some real interest in me?”

“No, but-”

“But what? Am I a game to all of you? Are my thoughts and feelings something that you’re using to determine who wins a bet?” She didn’t respond, and I felt my anger growing. “Yes or no?” Silence answered me, once again, and I hardened my gaze. “We both know that you’ll crack first, Twilight.” A tiny jerky nod was my response, and I just let my shoulders slump, her confession defusing the anger in me, and replacing it with sadness.

Twilight put a hand on my shoulder, but I quickly shrugged it off. “Icarus, we’ve been interested for more than two years. Not just Dash and I, but all of us. You’re just... It’s hard for us to connect to you when you seem to push us away. And the bet... It’s not a race to see who can have sex with you first.”

“I push you away as a defense mechanism, Twilight.” I leaned forward, my hands finding resting places on my knees. “It’s not even something I do consciously. You, any of you, try and get close, and my mind just tells me to push you away, in whatever way is most convenient. Most of the time it’s playing dumb, or just imagining that you’re not really interested.”

“And now that we’ve made it clear that we are interested?”

“It’ll be harder to do, but I’m sure that I’ll manage somehow.”

“I... Are you being serious?”

“No, probably not. Won’t know till after it happens, though.” Twilight didn’t say anything after that, and I found myself looking towards the other couples on the cliff. Most of them had left already, the late hour dictating that it would soon be time for us to leave as well. “Now that Pinkie’s breached the topic of my wings I’m surprised that you haven’t asked more about the project, Twi.”

“I do have questions, but I didn’t want to ask unless I knew that you really were okay with me asking.”

“Go for it, Twilight. If I’m going to try and connect more deeply with any of you I have to get used to talking to you about my life, even if it’s uncomfortable. And that would include my distinct lack of wings.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” I nodded, and then she continued. “What’s it like to know the sensation of having wings, but to not be able to feel them anymore?”

I let out a humorless chuckle as I stood, beckoning for Twilight to do the same. “Just jumping right in, I see. I can walk and talk at the same time, Twilight, I trust you can do the same?” She stood, and then we started our trek back to the house. “It’s not really a pleasant sensation. I sometimes feel like they’re still there, some phantom twitch runs through the intact nerves, and it feels like I still have them. Other times there’s no feeling at all... I don’t really know which of the two is worse.”

“What do you mean, you feel them? They’re... Well, they’re not there.”

“Oh, you noticed too?” I paused for a moment, realizing that I was already getting defensive. “Sorry. Yeah, I know. It’s hard to explain, really. It’s just... Like when Dash and I were having sex. I could feel the muscles in my back tightening, but there was no sensation to go with it. I knew what should be happening, but there was nothing to go with the feeling. Other times, like when I see another pegasus get their wing caught on something, I feel like I feel their pain.”

“So, this is an entirely mental thing. It’s not like your body is sending you signals that you can’t explain, it’s that your mind is interpreting the signals it does get in a certain way.”

I shrugged. “I suppose that’s one way of looking at it. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never really thought about it all that much. Or, at least, not since the hospital. Back when I was there I felt them all the time. Every few minutes I’d try to do something with them, only to find that they weren’t there.”

“But how could you forget something like that?”

“How many times a day do you use your magic?”

“Dozens of times. More, probably.”

“Now, pretend, for a moment, that you can’t use your magic.” Twilight’s pace slowed as she focused on her thoughts. I slowed my own pace as well, not wanting to leave her behind. “Now, imagine that every time you try to use magic you get a brief glimpse of what you had. You feel, just for a moment, that you can use your magic, but nothing happens. There is no spell, no sudden accomplishment.” I lapsed into silence, trying to think of how to phrase what I wanted to say. “Magic is such an integral part of your life that losing it seems impossible. The simple thought leaves you speechless. For me, that’s my reality. Every time I see Dash or Fluttershy, or any pegasus, soar through the sky, I’m reminded of what I’ve lost.”

“I can’t wrap my head around that kind of loss. How... How do you deal with it?”

Our walk had taken us all the way to the house, and I gave the beautiful woman a wan smile as I opened the door. “Time. Time heals all wounds.”

Author's Notes:

And yet another chapter done. I do hope you all enjoyed it. Be sure to rant at me, and let me know all the things I did wrong. I need some good laughs.