The sun beat down mercilessly on the little pirate ship that floated through the ocean with its withdrawn sails. Without the slightest breath of wind, it was of no use to hoist the sails. To top it all off for the current second captain of the ship bestowed with as fine a name as the Northwind, multiple sharks were swimming around the wooden vessel. It was the fault of the griffons they had thrown overboard. At least indirectly.

Maybe it would have been smarter to lock them in a chamber under the deck and make chicken wings out of them. Not that they would taste good, but after one week of aimlessly drifting around, the supplies were getting sparse. Or to describe it more precisely, Trixie just ate the last carrot.

Thiemo, lying flat on the wooden floor with all limbs stretched out, was too busy sweating to care about that now. What did he care about was that a delicious pony roast ate a carrot. At least there would be more meat on her bones when he got the knife out of the kitchen to cook his meal. He blinked and shook his head. He didn’t want his hunger to drive him to such thoughts. He had been with the filly at his side just long enough for her to trust him. Damn, she even called him daddy. How would it look if he ate a pony? Not that Trixie’s thick flanks weren’t provoking his appetite. Of course, the arrogant creature had to notice his looks.

“Are you staring at Trixie’s flank?!” He neither wanted to give her the satisfaction nor the wrong impression why he was staring at her, so he just turned away. “Hey! Trixie asked you something.”

“I was just thinking.” That wasn’t totally a lie. He had thought about how much ham he could get out of them. “Thinking about how we could get something to eat.”

“Well, you should! After all, it was you who threw the only navigator overboard.” The image of the two lovemaking gay griffons appeared in front of his inner eye.

“Who would have guessed he was the only navigator?” Not many of the crew were left now. Besides two griffons and the two diamond dogs, no one had surrendered. Some fell victim to Thiemo’s epee while the others had sought refuge in flight. “But it’s too late for that now. We need food very soon. Fresh water wouldn’t be bad either.”

“Steam!” Thiemo sat up and looked up at the eagle’s nest where one of the remaining griffons was on lookout. “Steamer ahead!” He stopped. “Eque… Eque… Eque… Ponies! Veer round!” Confused, Thiemo looked at the panicked griffon.

“Why veer? They are our salvation?”

“They are ponies. Too many ponies. They have magic and…” The griffon at the steering wheel stopped speaking and sought cover behind an empty barrel. Some pirates these were.

With a loud bang, wood hit metal as the hulks of the two ships collided. Thiemo had actually ordered them to drive alongside the ship so they could jump on board. But this worked just as well. The luxury steamer had stopped, and they could now climb aboard the larger ship. The significantly larger ship that he hadn’t noticed from the distance. The top of the highest of the three masts of the Northwind barely reached up to the deck of the ‘Paradise One’.

Together with the two griffons and the diamond dogs, Thiemo was now hanging at said mast and was prepared to jump. Again and again. He swallowed hard as he looked down. Aside from the large gap itself, the sharks were still between the ships. To say that he was seriously not a friend of great heights would be an understatement. “Captain? What’s wrong?” Hector asked.

Thiemo just had to go first. “Nothing.” He swallowed again and pushed himself off the mast and reached for the railing of the steamer. For a moment, it looked like he would slip down the metal, but he immediately reached out again and pushed his torso over it. Then he simply fell on the deck. To make it even worse, the two dogs simply jumped next to him like it was nothing while the two griffons just soared over, weapons in their beaks. Thiemo held his staff, pulled the pistol out of his pants, and stood up. The deck was empty. Nopony was to be seen.

“They probably barricaded themselves inside,” one of the griffons said. “Ponies aren’t the bravest of folks.” He was probably right. He had much more experience with them than Thiemo did.

“Good. All we need are the supplies, and they are…” Alright, he deserved that hit between the eyes. “So, how do we get inside?” Thiemo looked through one of the little portholes that led into the inner part of the ship. A long corridor was behind it, with countless doors that probably led to the cabins of the vacationers. A sign on the ceiling showed the way to the common room. It was probably the place where the ponies had locked themselves in after the sighting of the black flag with the griffon skull.

Waldo was pointing at a door further down. Not like he could do anything else. Blakkur had cut his tongue out.

Without having to give further commands, Thiemo’s little crew followed him as he tried to open the door, unsuccessfully of course. “It can never be easy, right?” He pulled a ruby out of his bag and placed his staff on the lock. It was hard to guide magic through it, but when he was playing with fire, it was far better to not have his hand too close. A moment later, the lock began to bubble, literally melting off the wooden door and leaving a large hole behind. Magical fire, used correctly, only ignited what you wanted, nothing more. Like his eyebrows or hair.

A look through the new hole showed him a few bags that were stacked behind the door, probably luggage that was pushed there in a hurry. With a grin, Thiemo stepped aside. “After you, gentlemen.” He motioned to the two dogs at the door. They put their paws on the wood, nodded at each other, and pushed. With a loud rumbling of the luggage, the door opened and fell out of its hinges. Thiemo gave it a closer look. The door was supposed to open outwards. He had to resist the urge to slap himself while he stumbled over the boxes and entered the long corridor. A fine red carpet covered the ground while the doorframes and room numbers seemed to be wrought out of gold. This was either first class or a ship for nobility. Additionally, the wood at the walls were clearly refined and almost seemed to shine. Only a scratch from behind him disturbed the atmosphere.

Thiemo looked around at the two griffons, who began to peel the numbers from the doors and used their epees to scratch off the gold from the frames. “What?” one of them asked as he noticed his looks.

“Stay…” He waved them off. “Just stay here and make sure no one escapes. Hector, Waldo, you two come with me. Let’s search for our little ponies.” Without giving the griffons any more attention, they now followed the signs under the ceiling that led them further inside. They stepped through one long corridor after the other, the only difference being that the portholes were soon replaced by small lanterns at the walls. Without the signs, he would surely have gotten lost. Eventually, they arrived at a large double door. In large golden letters, the word ‘Atrium’ was engraved on a sign above it. “Alright. We don’t know how many unicorns are inside. Just stay with me, look fierce, and say not a word.” Hector and Waldo nodded. “Let’s do this!”

With all his force, Thiemo opened the door and entered the large room that was filled with various laden tables. Ponies in fine clothes sat around them and held the hooves of their loved ones at their side. All looked at him with scared eyes as they recognized him for what he was. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen… or should I say fillies and gentlecolts? Doesn’t matter; I think you all get the point. My name isn’t important, and I am here on this fine Sunday to provide you with some entertainment.” A few mares screamed, and foals whimpered in the embrace of their parents. “No applause?”

A stallion stood out of the crowd of the passengers. His white uniform over his brown coat, combined with the hat that covered his silvery mane, showed that he was probably the captain of the Paradise One. “Sir, I’ll have to ask you to leave this ship. You are disturbing the peace of our passengers, and you are not wanted here.” Without further ado, Thiemo pointed the pistol at him. The eyes of the old stallion widened before he pulled the trigger. For a few seconds, it was completely silent in the room, and then the Captain opened his eyes again along with the rest of the passengers.

“Now! The next one won’t be a warning shot.” No one had to know that he had no more bullets because he had tried to shoot the sharks. He reached into his pockets, acted like he was pulling one out, and put it in the pistol before refilling the powder. Just like no one had to know that half of the bullets had rolled out the barrel before he could pull the trigger. After all, he had never used a gun like this before, or any gun at all. “Anypony else wants to act as a hero?”

Much to his surprise, a white unicorn with a brown mane stepped to the captain’s side. Unlike the others, he wasn’t neatly dressed but just wore something that Thiemo only knew as a Hawaiian shirt in combination with straw hat. A moustache was also covering the larger part of his muzzle. “Listen here, boy! I’ve trained the Canterlot hoofball team for twenty years. I can handle you and your yappy little dogs. Human or not.”

“Magnum!” A slightly pink earth pony mare stepped to his side. Her blue mane was backcombed high, and she wore a vest and leggings. There was a clear similarity to Peggy Bundy. “This is a human. He’s dangerous. This is not one of those young rowdies you’re usually putting into place.”

“Don’t worry, Pearl.” He put a leg around her shoulder. “If our daughter can be a hero, so can I.”

Thiemo was getting impatient. “Will you hurry up? I also have a daughter who’s been hungry for days.” He stopped for a second. “Just like me,” he added quietly as his stomach grumbled. Of course, some ponies had to begin whimpering again. Magnum stepped away from his mare and looked at him again.

“That does not grant you the right to rob decent ponies on the high sea. Piracy is a crime and needs to be punished.” He began to think that all ponies were as stubborn as Trixie.

“Hold it right there. I’m not a pirate. The only two pirates are at the entrance and took the room numbers from corridor two. Also, I don’t want your money; I’m just here for food. After I and another prisoner of the pirates took over their ship…” Why was he even telling them that? He could slap himself again! “Whatever! We no longer have a navigator and have been drifting around for days. So, pants down and give us your food!”

The Captain and Magnum looked at each other, then burst out into laughter.

“So! You have to imagine: these large dogs were standing in front of me. I was lying on the ground and already thinking about what would await me in the afterlife. Then they suddenly dropped on their knees. I mean, they were all at least two heads taller than me.” Magnum laughed, Pearl chuckled, and even the captain looked confused. “Aura, would you give me the potatoes?” The filly managed to leave her plate full of carrots for a second and pushed the bowl over to Thiemo.

Around them, scared faces watched the human feast with the ponies that stood up to him. As it turned out, food was nothing this ship was running low on. “So, you’re not going to eat us?” a young stallion asked, who stepped at his side. Thiemo choked on his food.

“What makes you think that?” he coughed while Pearl passed him some water. “If I’d knew that I only had to ask, I would have done it. But not many react… positively when they see a human.” The ponies looked at each other. Thiemo couldn’t blame them. Something must have programmed this behaviour into the ponies. If this was going on for generations, it must have been something terrible. “Let’s speak about more positive things. Thanks for the food. As soon as Waldo and Hector have loaded everything, we’ll be on our way.” The first mate, who almost had a heart attack when he saw him, explained to Hector which constellation they had to follow. Since Thiemo knew none of them, this was the best solution. He trusted the dogs more than Trixie. They were just as happy as him to no longer serve the pirates as slaves.

The other passengers at their tables seemed relieved that Thiemo and his crew would soon only be a memory and a distant smell they left behind in the atrium. The Northwind didn’t have a bathtub or anything like that.

Suddenly, the pistol that he had put next to his plate disappeared. Thiemo watched a very young stallion taking it into his mouth and playing with it, much to the horror of his parents and the other guests. “Don’t worry, it’s not really…” A loud bang interrupted him. “… loaded.” The foal rolled backwards over the carpet, immediately into the hooves of his mother. She quickly got out a white blanket and began to clean her son. “Like I said, I won’t hurt anyone as long as no one’s threatening me or Aura. The pistol isn’t even mine. Everything I have is this staff.” He pointed at the long piece of metal that leaned next to him at the table.

“I understand,” Pearl assured him. “If somepony dared to hurt my little ones… Oh Celestia, they have to look out for me.”

“Our daughters can look after themselves pretty well. Just like their dad,” Magnum proudly explained. Thiemo stood up from the table and picked up his gun that the little colt couldn’t hold as the powder exploded. He shoved it back into his pants again and reached for his staff before turning around to the gathered ponies. Most of them still looked with fearful eyes at him.

“Gentlemen, Jack thanks you for your hospitality.” Out of habit, he reached for his hat, but it wasn’t at its place unfortunately. “If I had a hat, I would raise it now,” he said instead. He grabbed Aura out of her chair, who tried to take it with her, and stepped out of the room.

“Dad,” she munched. “Why did we have to leave so sudden?”

They ran through the corridors again. “They had barricaded themselves. They probably already have sent of an emergency signal. That means that help will arrive soon. They only wanted to buy themselves some time.” The filly under his arms crammed the rest of the meal in her mouth and let the plate drop on the carpet. Thiemo looked at the doors to their left and right where the numbers were clearly missing. The two griffons must have been working hard.

Thiemo opened the door to the deck with a food and stepped outside into the late afternoon sun. He stepped towards the railing and looked into the water. Water? Where was the ship? Ahh, there at the horizon with Trixie waving her hat. Now she seemed to point at something. Thiemo saw a large airship with a golden sun at the hulk heading towards the Paradise One. He looked down at Aura. “I should have known it.”

Author's Notes:

OK, who did forget that an intermission was about to follow? I know that everyone wants to know what will happen next, but I'm cruel. You will have to wait another week for that. So tell me how much you hate me. Feed my dark spirit with comments! (The dark tag isn't there for the story, you know xD)

Thanks to Gron for translating this chapter.
Special thanks to JBL for proofreading and editing.

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