All signs pointed to the possibility that this would be another normal morning, but Humble Care knew better. For many years this had been the case, but ever since that day, the day when a particular young alicorn had moved into the old library tower, there hadn’t been anything resembling a normal day. After all these years, during which she had cleaned after the little alicorn and her pet dragon, she thought that peace would eventually return to Canterlot Castle. No more failed magic spells that she had to clean up after, no more alchemical experiments that left all the rooms in shambles and desperately needing a new coat of paint, and most importantly, no more three hour long bubble baths from the dragon that used up all the warm water from half the castle.

But of course her luck would not improve, oh no, that would have been too easy. Princess Celestia simply saw it fit to just replace one evil with another. In this case, she replaced her daughter with her sister. Yes indeed, almost immediately after her daughter had left, her sister had decided to make her grand return to Equestria. Said sister at least knew how to cast a spell without making a mess, but she was certainly not up to modern living standards. Humble Care couldn’t find the nerve at first to tell the returning princess that baths were now possible every day because there was now running water available. Consequently, you could easily track her down everywhere where she went, you had just to follow the mud. She also hadn’t dared to explain to her that the chamber pot had gone out of fashion a long time ago thanks to the invention of the toilet. Then there was her habit of spreading the remains of her night snacks all throughout her chambers. And that dreadful yelling! To call that yelling a royal way to speak had to be cruel joke, a joke that left her, more often than not, with a throbbing headache and regrets for choosing this line of work.

But everything they had thrown at her, she had taken it all with pride. She was finally one of the best maids in the service of her Majesty. Humble hadn’t even flinched when the little crumbs monster and her dragon returned. However… even she could not take in the newest addition to the castle household. She had gotten used to Princess Luna and Princess Twilight, but she would never EVER get used to the formerly stone-imprisoned being called Eris, Goddess of Chaos.

With a sigh, Humble now pushed her little cart with fresh towels, soaps and other products that would need to be replaced daily, in front of the door which led to said goddess. Carefully, she knocked several times on the big, white doors made ​​of solid oak. “Hello? Miss, are you up yet?” She waited a few seconds, but no answer was forthcoming. With another sigh, she prepared for the worst. Again and again, all her co-workers had warned her about Eris, that besides the inevitable disorder, a prank awaited every visitor in the chamber.

Silverware, one of the older butlers in the service of Her Majesty, had ‘found’ a bucket over the entrance. By found, it meant that the bucket had fallen on him when he had opened the door, which by itself would have be a harmless albeit embarrassing prank, if only Eris hadn’t used it as a bell afterwards. The poor stallion had needed a few weeks’ vacation after that. Even after the vacation he had still complained about a loud ringing in his ears. Feather Touch, the maid who had had to substitute for Silverware, had fared similarly. As she was attempting to wake the draconequus up one morning, Feather had turned her around and instead found herself face to face with a cockatrice. She had had to spend the entire day imprisoned in stone until the Royal Guard was able to catch the cockatrice and force it to turn her back. The only problem was that there were not one, but four other cockatrices that were spread across the castle grounds. Fortunately, they had caught the first one marked as “Two”, number “Three” was captured soon enough and while number “Five” had put up an admirable effort to evade them, it too was soon detained. It had taken an entire week until anypony had noticed that there was no cockatrice with the number four, it was as if it had never existed.

Over the years Eris had lived in the castle, there had been many more victims and rarely a break in between her pranks. The quiet days only came when she visited her marefriend in Ponyville. While she tried not to judge, Humble simply couldn’t imagine which mare would be crazy enough to get herself involved in a relationship with such a being. Then again, she could also say that about Prince Blueblood, who could be a pain in the flank in his own… unique ways. Humble thought back to Royal Service, who had left her this duty upon retiring. With his last warning words in her mind, she gripped the handle of the door and opened it. The room was dark, but not dark enough to completely shroud the entire room in gloom, the pink curtains allowed some light to filter through, creating pretty, colored shadows that shifted whenever the curtains moved.

As she now took in the room, with the large bed, the two wardrobes and a desk, she found herself rather relieved - it wasn’t as messy as she had initially feared. Sure there was popcorn all over the floor, so much so that anyone would have problems to see the carpet beneath. The sheets and pillows, together with some chairs, were also assembled in such a way so as to create a small fort where the permanent guest had probably spent the night rather than in the bed. Then there was the curtains, which were smeared with some unknown substance, books that were scattered everywhere and something that suspiciously looked like a cannon hung dangerously like a lamp from the ceiling.

Yes, the mess was bad, but it was nothing that a skilled maid such as she couldn’t handle. “Miss? I’ve come to clean up your room.” Although on closer inspection, to simply incinerate everything and rebuild would probably be easier. Then again, the ponies that made up the staff of the castle were not known for their construction skills.

Humble Care turned around and pulled her small cart over to the entrance of the bathroom. Like any of the other large guestrooms in the castle, this one also included two smaller rooms: one big bathroom and a small study, where the books had probably come from. She quickly decided on her plan of action; she could clean the bathroom first and while it dried, she could start on the bedroom. As the door to the bathroom was ajar, she pushed on it and then abruptly stopped. Before her was a gigantic mountain of fur that she had just collided with. A growl reverberated throughout the room as the massive mountain slowly rose from the ground. Humble could only stare with wide eyes as thick paws appeared under the mountain of fur, as it spread bat-like wings and as the tail of a scorpion rose to the air. Then the manticore turned around. For a few seconds they looked at each other silently, and then the manticore roared in her face.

Slightly annoyed, the maid wiped some spit from her face. “Really, Miss Eris? We are getting tired of your pranks. They’re only giving us more work to do,” she huffed.

“Hello?” came a voice from elsewhere. “I'm just in the study. If you’re here with my breakfast, just put on top of the fort. I hope you have not forgotten an extra portion of glass for my cocoa.” Humble's head turned slowly back to the great beast before her. She swallowed and patted gently with a hoof the nose of the manticore.

“Erm…. good kitty.” Once again, the monster roared at her and she immediately gave into her instincts. Humble rushed out of the bathroom, with the door slamming against the wall, ignoring her cart and left the entrance door wide open as she sought her safety in flight. Mocking laughter was heard down the halls as she ran.

Eris, proud goddess of Chaos, Disharmony and other little things which not even she could give a shit about, tried to support herself in the entrance of her study unsuccessfully. Her pair of mismatched legs could no longer keep her long, narrow, snake-like body upright as she slumped in the doorway, laughing raucously. “That was great Eri! Did you see her face?” The pink bundle that had jumped out a few seconds ago from the pillow fort was now next to her, bouncing frenetically. Every word she managed to utter had to be squeezed out from her own peals of laughter. “First it was all like this!” She used both forehooves to pull up her eyelids. “And then she was like ‘Ahhhhhh!’ and her eyes were going like this and…”

“We know, Pinkie, we were here too,” the manticore with a scratchy female’s voice said as it stepped out of the bathroom. “But her face was really priceless. How do you always get such ideas?” Eris was still gasping, trying to catch her breath while wiping a tear with her eagled claw out of her eyes, her paw still holding onto her belly.

“W-Well, it’s my job. Just because I’m not allowed to make a whole lot of chaos doesn’t mean that I can’t spice life up here and there a little.”

The manticore nodded and turned his head to look at his wings. “Man, these babies are big. It’s a shame that they come along with this bulk of a body. I could do a lot of stunts with these. Hey, maybe I could even do a double rainboom!”

“Oh oh oh!” Pinkie hopped beside her transformed chromatic friend. “Just think about the party I had to throw if you did a double rainboom!” She made a pause and inhaled deep. “It would be so big, bigger than any party, maybe even bigger than the one I did last week!” Pinkie pressed the large nose of the manticore against her own. The manticore grinned in such a way that all its teeth were visible.

“You know Pinkie, you smell different today,” it said and licked its lips.

Pinkie pulled down a lock of her mane and sniffed at it. “I use the same cotton candy as always.” Eris laughed again, while the manticore looked mildly shocked at Pinkie Pie.

It shook its big head and smiled again. “No Pinkie, I mean you smell delicious. Come on, crawl in my mouth and let me taste you.” Her long tongue snaked around Pinkie’s neck, then up to her cheek. However, Eris interrupted the fun at this point and with a flick of her wrist and with a short flash of light, Rainbow Dash returned to her natural shape. The only thing that remained the same was that her tongue was still locked onto Pinkie’s cheek.

“Oh Rainbow,” Pinkie whispered seductively in Rainbow Dash’s ear. “What would Soarin say if he would know what you’re doing here?” The blue mare turned slightly red around her muzzle as Pinkie and Eris erupted into laughter again.

“Ha ha ha, Eris. Very funny. But I have to go anyway. Otherwise I’ll have to listen to Spitfire’s ranting again about how I missed training.” She waved to the other two, as she walked over to the window and opened it. “See you all later!” With that, she left the room in a rush, a rainbow trail following her as she sped towards Canterlot Stadium.

“Well, I gotta go too. The Cakes need my help in the shop. See you later Eri!” Before Eris could say anything, Pinkie pulled in into a brief bone crushing hug and was then out of the door. She knew from experience that it would be useless to follow her. For all she knew, Pinkie Pie could already be back to Ponyville by now. Even if Eris was the Goddess of Chaos, it didn’t mean she could explain something like that. It was Pinkie Pie after all. Or maybe it was because she couldn’t care enough to investigate it.

“Aaaaaaand now I’m bored.” She flicked her claws once again and with a flash, all the objects in the room were back in its proper place. Just what could be the last thing everypony would expect from the Goddess of Chaos? Tidiness of course! "And I had put in so much effort to get everything just right,” she pouted to herself as she thought about the sacrifices she had had to make to stay in her element. But it was worth it, if only because that she didn’t have to listen to Celestia prattle on about how she was right about her. She hated it when Celestia did that.

For the last nine years, she had spent her time doing good with her powers. Somehow, she had to give her chaotic side an outlet. “I could visit Twilight in the throne room, maybe she has something for me to do.” Eris liked to speak with herself, especially if the many voices in her head answered back. It didn’t happened often, but most of the time the answers were just a melody or potato, which was a legitimate response in various dimensions. Today, however, there was consent from them all.

The throne room was not very far from her chambers, if you knew the right way. You just had to quickly slip down the hallway, preferably on a sled, then teleport through a wall, directly into the showers of the Royal Guard. If you were already there, you could also steal all the towels and place soap in the most appropriate location: the floor (with superglue and not only at the bottom.) Then you went through another wall into the kitchen, where the fast rotating pancake was plucked from the air. With the remnants of the food still in the claw, you then teleport back to the very other end of the large castle in front of the princess and spilled maple syrup all over the document she was reading, before you devoured the bottle from which it came along with the rest of the pancake. “Good Morning Equestriaaaaaaa!” Eris cried out as some pieces of pancake splashed at the magic shield in front of Her Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“Eris,” she growled and started to wipe the syrup away from her document. “My mother and aunt are gone from the country for two weeks.” She paused and Eris just hummed in confirmation while removing shards of glass that were stuck between her teeth with a toothpick. “And you have nothing better to do than to make my first period of office absolutely miserable?” Eris could do nothing but grin. Celestia and Luna, both passionate pranksters and always open for a little fun, didn’t tell little Twilight that she could have shielded the throne room with a spell that would have made it impossible for her to use her powers. Of course, she used this advantage to the fullest, especially since Twilight had brought most of her friends to support her. Good thing she had at least some of them on her side. Well, at least Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

“Hmmmm, let me think.” She slowly began to tap a claw against her chin. She then slithered down like a fur around Twilight's neck and lowered her body slowly behind her back on the throne. This inevitably led to Twilight landing on the ground with an grunt, her jeweled tiara slipping down over her face “No, nothing better to do in good old Equestria. But what kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t offer at least a bit of help. Look, I’ll even warm up the throne for you.” She gleefully dug deeper into the big, red and fluffy pillow that rested on the golden chair.

The alicorn on the floor started to growl again while her face began to turn a deep red. Eris knew that she could do almost everything while Fluttershy wasn’t around. Well, at least if she didn’t take things too far, otherwise said mare would give her a good scolding. There were few things worse than getting a scolding from your own marefriend, because it meant that she would have to spend the night on the sofa on her next visit. “Eris…” Twilight grinded out between her teeth. She sounded like the fuse of a bomb that was about to reach its end. “GET OUT AND GET LOST!” she yelled, her voice so loud that the walls vibrated, mugs fell from the tables on which they stood and every guard at the castle was alarmed. They now rushed through the large entrance door to the throne room, spears ready to remove any and every troublemaker who dared to resist.

Eris decided that she had done enough for now; after all, the day was still young. “Well, I think I just noticed that somepony is performing a dark ritual to summon my humble self. Maybe I should go check.” And with yet another flick, she was gone. Not that she had to flick, it was just something that ponies couldn’t do and served as a constant reminder for them of how handy it was to have something like claws or fingers.

“Wow…. I still can’t believe it.” For Thiemo, it didn’t matter how many flies got lost in his mouth. Since they had entered Canterlot, the little group hadn’t stop to be astonished or humoured by all the ponies wearing their fancy clothing and ridiculously fancy hats. Thiemo, with his everlasting luck, had a fly zipping into his throat as they did stop this time, standing and gawking in amazement at the large market place with an ornate fountain.

Fillydelphia had given them a glimpse of what they could expect from Equestria, but the capital had surpassed the city a few times over. They were high up on a mountain, but it was neither cold nor windy behind the walls. The city and its buildings shared the same bright gleam of the stone from the mountain, so much so that it looked as though someone had carved the city practically out of the mountain. Magic was on full display, the sheer quantity almost matching the number of unicorns on the streets. They gawked at the strange displays and objects that seemed to be of everyday use, oblivious to the sneers and looks of disdain that were directed at them by the ponies around them. There were lanterns that had little magical lights in them that changed every time the wind blew, there were carriages built like a big tricycle that seemed to pull itself along the streets. Bright advertising in all different colors of the rainbow adorned the various shops, among them a donut shop, a delicacy that he never expected to enjoy again or find on this planet and so they had made a quick stop for a hearty breakfast.

There were also various sign of modern structures that were lacking in some of the previous places Thiemo had been to. The city seemed to have a sewer system, for example, judging by the fact that he didn’t spot any ponies throwing the contents of their chamber pots out their windows. Then there were the things for sale in the shop windows: record player, speakers, radios and cameras (though they looked like they were the old kind that used phosphorus and flash) were all in full view to try and catch the eyes of potential customers. It was almost as if he had walked out of the Dark Ages directly into the early modern era. Even though he recognized most of the technologies on display, it had been so long since he had seen anything resembling them that he felt like he was like a caveman that saw fire for the first time, especially since ponies had no electricity, so everything was run with magic. They stored their magic in crystals as though they were batteries, just like he did. Presumably he could go to the nearest store and buy twenty already charged rubies at half price, which was exactly what he had done the earliest chance he got. He didn’t only buy rubies but also sapphires, lapis lazuli and rock crystal, the latter he had received practically as a gift, the way how cheap it had been.

What also was surprising was how friendly these ponies were. Even when he had taken the shape of the blue, white-maned earth pony stallion, very few of the ponies in Fillydelphia had been so friendly. Apparently, the closer they were to the capital, the friendlier the ponies got. Or perhaps it was because Thiemo had gotten accustomed to the stares and misconceptions of being a human, so the fact that they left him alone now was something he took as a well-meaning sign. Another thing that worked in his favour was that he had managed to transform into an adult stallion this time around, a bit smaller than Amaryllis, but significantly larger than Aura.

Now, however, they stood in front of the castle, a building that could not look any grander and more confusing for him, for it seemed to combine a variety of different architectural styles. The towers looked as though they had come from some of the ancient building from the Middle East or maybe even India. The walls, however, were like some of the castles Thiemo had seen in his European history books. They were thick, made ​​of natural stone and ready to restrict anyone who wanted to pass if they were not welcome there, their silent countenance seemed to almost dare any would be trespasser from trying to do otherwise. Then there was the castle itself, imposing to the group standing before it, but at the same time almost delicate like a flower. Some places looked structurally so weak that it looked like they would collapse upon itself should someone dare to enter. To Thiemo, the building was a contradiction of itself, the only explanation he could come up with in the short term was “magic”.

“Well... do you have to register here or something?” Thiemo stretched his long neck in both directions. They stood before what obviously was some kind of gate. The main street of the city had led them to this gate after all, but it also could be a back entrance. There was only a small guardhouse placed on both sides of the large archway, something which reminded him of England, except for the fact that there was a lack of visible guards anywhere. He wondered if his assumption was true and this was a back entrance, or perhaps the guards indeed had become lax in their duties when the princesses weren’t present.

Taking a few steps forward, he cautiously looked around the yard, still spotting no ponies anywhere. “No idea,” Amaryllis responded, coming forward to also search for any sign of life. “Maybe it’s an Open House Day?” They both looked at each other and just grinned. The speed with which the changeling had adapted to his way of thinking was a little scary, but it seemed to be in her nature. Adjusting meant survival and no one said survival couldn’t be fun.

“Dad, do you think we find here Amy's father or my family?” Aura interjected, her tone sombre. While he didn’t have a shoulder for Aura to sit on, he did have a broad back which she could ride on. The city was large and had taken its toll on the filly. Not that she was anywhere near sleepy. She didn’t want to miss any of this.

Thiemo knew that this issue was gnawing at his companion, both of them. “Well, governments tend to keep records for nearly everything. Things like birth certificates are usually stored in archives.” He pointed with a hoof at the castle. “Which I’m betting is in there. One hundred meters further and then you will have achieved your goal,” he said with his best imitation of a navigation system. Eventually he should learn that no one understood these allusions here, or maybe he could do that later. To see confused faces now and then could be fun.

“So… we just go in?” Amaryllis asked a little uncertain. “Won’t we get in trouble?”

“I do not see any sign prohibited enter and the lack of guards is a very clear invitation that rings true to the motto: mi casa es su casa.” Again, both filly and changeling didn’t understood what he said.

“Dad, how many languages ​​do you even speak?” Thiemo counted them to himself in his head. There was his mother tongue, English, a bit Polish, Japanese, Latin and Spanish. He wondered if Equish would have somehow helped him with job applications at home.

“A few. My planet has many countries and most of them have their own language. I grew up in two different countries and learned three more languages at school. I guess you could say I’ve always had a talent for languages.” It was something he wasn’t able to explain or capitalize on, and in the end he had decided on a career in the field of mathematics. Just like his training to be a shaman, he had never been able to complete his training on Earth, the difference being that he didn’t just up and left his job training, he was teleported to Albion. “Anyway, beggars can’t be choosers. No guards, no princesses, what could stop us?”

No sooner than they had covered the small path to a large open entrance of the palace and began staring into the wide corridor that he began to regret those words. He really should stop goading the universe in trying to bitchslap him. The thing was built like a damn maze, corridors and stairs everywhere. Although it was an architectural masterpiece from the inside just like the outside, the architect still should have been killed or committed to an asylum, whichever was more convenient. White marble that looked similar to the type used on the exterior adorned the immaculate floor, royal red tapestries and intricately decorated armor adorned the walls while golden chandeliers hung from the ceiling. However, all that didn’t change the fact that at the grand staircase at the end of the hall, there were ten different paths they could potentially take, five on each side. While they still stood and considered where they could probably find a map, there was a loud rumble and a brigade of ponies shot out of one of the corridors. Twenty stallions, all pegasi, all in full armor and armed with spears, galloped across from the startled group, passed the entrance hall and disappeared in one of the corridors on the opposite side, not even stopping to give them a second glance.

“I say we go any place where they aren’t.” The nodding of his companions was all the confirmation he needed. With a quick ‘Eenie Meenie Minie Moe’, Thiemo then decided in his mind what corridor they would take. “This one!”

Aura jumped off his back and took the lead, Amaryllis following and Thiemo taking up the rear. Something strange was going on, he could feel it in his bones. Then he remembered what Chrysalis had said to him: No sane being would stay near Equestria. He repeated her words to him silently as they picked up their pace. Did her words have something to do with all this? Why were the princesses not here again?

Eris hovered under the ceiling, invisible to the group below her, all the while grinning from ear to ear. She couldn’t believe how damn lucky she was today. First there was the highly successful morning prank and now this. While it sounded like the beginning of a bad joke, a human, a changeling and a pony had just walked into the castle liked they owned the place. They had used the chaos she had made from her morning greeting to Princess Stick in the Mud and had snuck through the corridors. She had overheard their conversation and joyfully rubbed her two different paws together in glee.

This called for something special. Something big. Those three could entertain her for weeks, maybe even for the months to come. Oh how she loved new toys! The only question was what to do with them. Maybe if she stuck a little to them she would find out exactly why they were here and could use that against them. Hmmm, when was the last time she had been so excited? She snapped her claws as she remembered. It had been when she had made Ponyville fly through the air and had muscular buffalos dance the dying swan in pink tutus. She sighed in contentment at the memory. What glorious day that had been! Unfortunately, it had marked the beginning of another year in stone, but that was forgiven and forgotten. Although….. she did have something to prove to Celestia. Maybe she could combine the two things together.

“How did an old friend of mine used to say it? Allons-y!” And with a giggle, she began her hunt.

Author's Notes:

In Germany we have the saying: "Gut Ding will Weile haben."
Roughly translated it would be something like: "Good things take time."
But here it is, with the promised big attack of alternate universe.

And as always, special thanks to JBL for proofreading, editing, etc.