Heavy chains clinked with every step that Thiemo took, his feet shuffling along since the shackles limited his stride. Both his hands and feet were enchained by iron cuffs, and these chains, in turn, linked with a third. Thiemo had watched enough television to recognize that it was the same as in American prisons in with which the scummiest of scum were taken. At least he wasn’t wearing a bright orange jumper, only a shirt and trousers made out of white linen.

Everything had been taken from them: his coat, trousers, and shoes, along with his totem and the talismans that he had hidden in the inner pockets of his clothes. He had stored rubies in his coat, lapis lazuli and sapphires in a bag that could only be reached from a compartment in the right pocket of his trousers, and amber in each boot. Rarity had made the modifications for him, though he was certain she now regretted doing so. In any case, none of those weapons were of any use to him, seeing as the ponies tended to seize the clothes of their prisoners on principle. At least they had been given a substitute, though it was a poor one. He could see every seam on his sister’s shirt as she walked a few paces in front of him.

She was chained in the same manner as he was, but unlike him, she had the power to set herself free at any time. After all, Danielle was an angel, a being of higher power than mere mortals, though not a god. Divine intervention had had nothing to do with her ascension. Her powers had awaken when Lyra had been greatly injured. Danielle, the feminized form of the name Daniel, The Judge. She had thrown a monster of a changeling like a sack of potatoes several feet and had stabbed it with a claymore that she had practically pulled out of nowhere. To top it all off, she hadn’t remembered a single second of the ordeal. He was the only one who was conscious to bear witness to the entire episode. In the weeks following the attack on the Empire, her body had reacted to the swirling magic surrounding her through her wings growing rapidly and her physical strength increasing.

He knew his sister and he knew magic. It was better to gradually introduce her to her powers, if only he knew what they were. Megan would certainly be pretty useful in this situation.

However, she was a few thousand light years away, and they were here in chains and were being led to the throne room within the palace by their own personal guards to the left and right of them, armed with spears. Despite the noise of the clinking chains and the march of hooves around him, he could already hear the mass of inhabitants who had gathered to attend their trial. Hundreds of conversations swirled around at the same time, and it was impossible to hear any single voice. And they were still only in front of the closed door.

The guards in front of him nodded as they came to a halt. "Please tell me again why we’re doing this?" Danielle whispered to him as he stood next to her. "You know, just to be sure I'm not crazy."

"Because I was too stingy to pay for our trip to Ti," Thiemo murmured back with a smile that elicited a growl from his sister. "The other reasons we already discussed in detail."

"I always thought heroes were bid farewell with the townsfolk waving flags, and getting a feast before they went out to save the world." Danielle shook her chains, rattling them loudly. "Not like this."

"Maybe we’re not heroes? Perhaps we are just two crazy teenagers who’ve escaped from the Highlands and are actually far in over their heads and just trying to make the best of it. Because when it comes to Albion, her heroine has already departed to expel the evil humans from Hoovegorod. We’re going to Ti to collect information and find the Crystal Heart. For Queen and country and all the crap." This time it was Thiemo who grinned. "But what do I know? It's not like I've done this before." As Danielle glared at him, he turned to one of the guards. "What’s taking so long? I don’t have all day!"

As if they had heard his call, the wings of the great door opened into the throne room, which had been completely silenced. The eyes of hundreds of ponies, filling the otherwise free surface around the columns, stared in their direction. "Bring forth the prisoners!" Cadance commanded, and two of the guards pushed them forward.

Thiemo, a grin still on his face, peered into the crowd and immediately found some familiar faces. Leonidas and Grape were in the front row. Unlike most of the crowd gathered here, they didn’t bear scowls or anger on their faces. They looked more questioning, and in the case of Grape, almost sad. It was probably why Leo had laid one of his wings over his wife. Anvil stood somewhat apart from the two and answered Thiemo's grin with his own. No doubt he was very pleased with the situation. Schadenfreude, Thiemo guessed. Only Amy would be able to say for sure.

It was Danielle and not him who saw the next familiar face, causing her to emit a strangled sound. Farther into the crowd, almost right in front of the throne, Lyra sat. She looked much better than Thiemo had last seen her a few weeks ago. She also had four legs, even if one of them was metal. It was finely worked metal, seemingly almost fragile, but was relatively close to a genuine leg. Crystals were incorporated into the joints, and he did not need his magical gaze to know that it was connected with her own magic in order to move the construct as she wanted. The entire thing was similar to how humans on Earth could now link their prostheses with their nervous system.

What had caused the reaction from his sister was likely the fact that Lyra had been crying. Her face had damp streaks coursing down her cheeks, and her eyes were red, looking for all the world like someone had kicked her pet. The last thing Lyra needed was the mental anguish that was so plainly expressed on her features, a look imitated by Danielle. She had even stopped briefly and had to be pushed onward by one of the guards.

"You and her? Really? When did it happen?" he whispered to his sister when they were once again level.

"I didn’t think she would be here," Danielle muttered. Amongst their shared interests, one was the preference for the female sex, something that no one else in their rather religious family knew about. But, hey, who could blame her? She knew what was good. One summer, she had brought home a friend from her boarding school. Thiemo had found them in the living room getting to second base. As often as he had made fun of her red curse in her past, as often as he had put shaving cream in her hand while she slept, this was something he would never make fun or condemn her for. Still, did it really have to be Lyra? However, he did not have the advantage of time to ask his questions, for they stood before Cadance, or now rather Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

The princess looked different today than he had ever known her. It was almost as though her very being engendered a feeling of reverence and respect. It was evident in her posture, sitting upright on her sea-breeze crystal throne. The expressionless gaze she regarded them with would have made Celestia proud. Her mane blew serenely in a non-existent wind, a play of colours of purple, pink, and gold that seemed to dissolve in the air they all breathed.

"Bow to the ruler of the Crystal Empire!" the guard barked beside Thiemo, striking him with the spear behind his knees to give his words a bit more conviction.

Danielle went to her knees first, though Thiemo needed a second blow. Cadance looked down at them with cool eyes, something Thiemo never thought possible. "State your names, prisoners."

Still on his knees, Thiemo straightened himself as best he could. "My name is Thiemo Morgan, a shaman of water and air, member of the Eternal Library of Cervidas, also known as the Great Bananarama. The camels of the desert and the zebras of the steppes knew me as Simba. On Dragmire, I was known as Baloo. In the area of ​​the mild West, I travelled under the name of Lucky Luke. I have killed and tasted the meat of another. I was the head of a thieves’ guild, tried to be a pirate after I killed the old captain in his bed during a mutiny, plus I was an accomplice of Billy the Colt, the terror of the desert. I pretended to be a god, I attempted to assassinate an Equestrian princess… and I stole the heart of another." Cadance raised a hoof to silence him, though a mere gesture could not force him to bite his tongue. It was more that his last words had brought a searing pain to his chest, making him want to simply curl into a ball right there on the floor.

Cadance looked over at Danielle. "I'm his older sister, Danielle Morgan. I've taught him more than half the tricks he knows. For more, you’ll have to give me more time. I’m sure I’ll be able to come up with something.”

While there were cries of outrage and condemnation at the duo’s flippant attitude, Cadance remained impassive. She gazed at Danielle for a few moments, then looked down at a parchment levitated before her. "Our guards have told me that you both refused a legal representative who is familiar with our jurisdiction. Is the correct?" In this case, ‘our’ meant the royal one. Unfortunately, this consisted now only of Cadance, Skyla, and Amaryllis. She spoke on behalf of all remaining members of the royal house.

Other than have a closer inspection of the local laws, there wasn’t much in the way of recreational activity in a prison cell. "I’ll only take one if he's named Denny Crane," Thiemo said.

Cadance ignored him and looked over at Danielle. "That's right, Princess."

For another moment, she studied the two. "As you wish." She finally nodded. "Danielle and Thiemo Morgan, you are charged with illegally entering the Central Bank of the Crystal Empire, holding ponies as hostages, and unlawfully gaining access to the vault. This resulted in property damage to the bank, as well as traumatising a number of ponies." She sighed. "On a personal note, I trusted you, Thiemo. Not only did I give you the honour of fighting for me in the tournament, I invited you into my house and allowed your counsel. You shared a bed with my daughter, and I hoped to be able to one day count you as part of our family. You could have played a part in making humanity feel welcome here."

For a moment, Thiemo wanted to laugh. A real laugh, not the act they were performing. He, a human, sitting on a throne and helping to reign the Empire? No thank you. He couldn’t imagine a more thankless job, as no matter how you did it, you would always be wrong. Perhaps he was only cynical after a lifetime of politics on Earth. "Okay, I'm sorry to have your royal bubble burst, but I didn’t ask for a single one of those things. You wanted to see in me something I am not. Don’t blame me for your mistakes."

"Perhaps. You’ve already heard what I do hold you accountable for. We have already heard the testimony of several witnesses, as well as those of Miss Heartstrings and Lady Rarity, who have given character statements." If Rarity was still in the hall, he hadn’t seen her. "Only your own statements remain, if you wish to make them."

Danielle looked over at Thiemo as he rose. "The accusations are correct. We entered the bank with masks and weapons, made the ponies there our hostages, and took the key from the director. Shortly after we opened the vault, the crystal guard arrived. Since we were outmatched, we surrendered. "

"Why?" Lyra asked suddenly from the side. "Why did you do this?" Soldiers quickly moved to silent her, but Cadance stopped them immediately.

"I would also like to have an answer to this question," she added.

"Motive, means, and opportunity. After the attack, a lot of ponies stockpiled on supplies, because you can’t eat money when shit hits the fan. The vault was well filled, I was sure of it. We had the gun, so we got masks and spied on the bank for a while. One visit to the library and we knew how the vault worked. It wasn’t really that difficult." He shrugged his shoulders. "People have done crazier and more idiotic things to get money. And let’s be honest, if a little horde can surprise the Empire, then others will soon try their luck. So why stay here? And if you’re already planning to leave, why not leave the country as a rich man?”

"Is that all?" Cadance asked. Thiemo nodded. He got a blow to his knees again until he was on them. "Now that we have heard the testimony of the accused, we have garnered enough information to understand the events that occurred on that day. However, there are some parts of your tale which simply do not add up. For one, there is no information about the vault in the public library. On the other hoof, every visitor to the library has to register upon entering. The guards conducting the investigation have examined the register, and neither of the accused’s names was found was on the list. They also would have had to pay an entrance fee, as only citizens of the Empire are allowed free access in accordance with our taxation system.

“Furthermore, a bank employee indicated that there was a third robber. The description allegedly coincides with that of a well-known author, Miss A.K. Yearling. Would you like to comment?" Both Thiemo and Danielle were silent. "Also, a deposit box had been opened. We do not know what was stolen, but the owner was informed. I take it you also have no comment to make, seeing as nothing was found on you?" Still no response. "Then I have nothing more to do but call for a brief recess, in which I shall consider a verdict.”

A few minutes later, Danielle and Thiemo found themselves in a small room not far from the throne. It had no windows, only a door secured by two guards. The room was sparsely decorated, containing only two large seat cushions and a small table in the middle. "So, the most important thing first," Thiemo said before they had barely sat down. "You and Lyra?"

Danielle pushed her hair out of her face. "I visited her almost every day at the hospital. We talked, went out together for meals, and I helped with her therapy. When she was released, we went to the theatre and somehow one thing led to another. That was a month ago."

"And you didn’t think I should know?"

"I know how you feel about Lyra."

"She’s an overly-curious nuisance who often does things that aren’t in her best interests, just to prove she was right. Still, she saved you. She left everything she had to learn more about humanity. If we were an endangered species, she would be the leader of a Greenpeace campaign. She's a good pony, just very, very annoying." Thiemo had developed a certain grudging respect for the mare. After all, not many would face a monster to protect someone else, especially when she had known Danielle for such a short period of time. Thiemo himself would have done the same only for Aura, Amaryllis, and Danielle. Anyone else would have died waiting to be rescued. This probably made Lyra a better person than he was.

"Just spare me the details." The last thing he wanted to know was what sounds Lyra made in bed.

"I'll miss her," Danielle whispered, looking down at her hands. "I know when it's all over we'll be together again, but still."

"We can still claim that I had forced you. You're new to Albion; don’t know anyone but me. Plus, unlike you, I mastered magic. I am a dark shaman and criminal. If the ponies in the bank already feared me, just imagine how terrified you must have been.”

"Oh, sure, look at you. What are you supposed to be, a poor man’s Keanu Reeves? With your long greasy hair and the patchiest beard this side of the Thames? Yeah, I am so scared of a snot-nosed punk like you. Don’t forget that I know the story about the pirates. I also know that you only ate that griffin because you were had gone a year without meat and your health was messed up. The vultures were literally circling over your head. You didn’t do anything that anyone else wouldn’t have done to survive. Plus I bet the whole thing went so fast that you didn’t even realize the griffon was intelligent, right, Mister Lecter? And you weren’t even the one who had killed him. So get over it–you’re not getting rid of me so easily. I know it might sound strange, but something tells me that we're doing the right thing, if in a pretty crazy way. I hope you realize we’ve completely fucked over Princess Cadance, though."

Thiemo did indeed feel guilty what they were doing to Cadance, but he knew her better than his sister. In order to get her to give them more than a few hours of community service, it would have taken drastic measures. In her mind, he had already married Amaryllis. She thought of him as family. From experience, he knew that a lot of pressure had to be placed on a family before they were forced to send their own to a boarding school. Or in this case, a prison island. For that, they had needed to get under her skin.

"Silence!" Cadance's voice rang through the throne room. The voices of the spectators subsided and the focus was placed back on their ruler. "I have met with some of my esteemed councillors, and I have arrived at a verdict." She looked down from her throne to Thiemo and Danielle, who were kneeling before her. "Normally I would have the accused pay damages to the afflicted parties. Furthermore, he would undertake treatment, talks to someone about his problems, and do some temporary work for the community. However, we already tried that, to no avail. Therefore, in light of the admitted criminal offences, even if some did not occur within the Empire, I have no choice but to invoke an order of banishment. We will not only send you back to Ti, but you will never enter the Crystal Empire again in your life. If you attempt to do so, we will treat you like any other intruder." There was a sound of outrage from Lyra. "Even as we speak, the preparations for your transfer are being made. For this mercy, you should thank Miss Heartstring and Lady Rarity, both of whom spoke greatly in your defence.” She was silent for a moment. "Is there anything else you want to say?"

Both Danielle and Thiemo lifted their right hand and gave a very British two-finger salute.

Author's Notes:

Let's wrap this up. In the next act we will finally leave the Empire. Onwards!

Special thanks to JBL for translating & editing.