Twenty-five years ago

Ice hung in the air. Well perhaps that wasn't entirely accurate; mostly it seemed to be clinging to the walls and crawling along the floor, but the prickle on Star's skin and the needles in her lungs when she breathed certainly made it feel as if it were so.

The walls glittered with delicately patterned ferns crawling one over the other across ancient enameled brickwork; her hot breath froze to a shower of crystals that fell to the floor in a miniature snowstorm or drifted in the slight breeze her body heat created in the chilly atmosphere. Blocks of ice were piled high in the centre of the icehouse that Star had made her temporary abode, a narrow shaft of light that shone from a port in the distant domed ceiling filling them with an ethereal blue-green glow.

It was an ancient design, one not entirely necessary in a modern world of efficient ice charms and stasis fields, but this family of Lucent's that Star had wormed her way into was notorious for doing things the old-fashioned way. It had taken her months to convince Lucent to install a decent set of frost wards on the place, but worth the effort if only so she didn't keep running out of ice for her drinks.

With that thought in mind Star raised an ice-chilled crystal tumbler to her lips, pausing a moment to admire the delicate rime forming around the sides where her magic gripped it, before she tipped it back. The tinkle of ice against crystal seemed oddly reassuring; the chill of her gin, cooled by its long stay on the block of ice by her side, was more refreshing than anything so alcoholic had any right to be. The combination was almost enough to take her mind off the rather urgent and pressing matter that had driven her to the icehouse in the first place. Sadly that particular thought brought her attention back to the present and the unwanted burning in her loins.

She was just refilling her glass when a hoof pounded at the door and a voice called out her name. Star rolled her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head. Of course it would be Twilight Velvet that found her, all the rest of the herd were probably off enjoying a heat-free day and not thinking about sex even slightly.

A wash of warmth and an achingly familiar tingle washed over Star's body, making her shiver so much that she almost dropped her drink, which would have been a terrible shame. She settled further onto the ice and set about chipping a little more of it into her glass.

"Star? Are you in there?"

"Would you be asking if you thought otherwise, dear?"

The door rattled again as a pony leaned against it. Star could almost picture Twilight shaking her head and sighing. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Well, I could lie about it and claim that I rather enjoy freezing my behind off in the middle of the day, but yes. Yes it is."

"I don't see the hosepipe out here," Twilight said after a moment's silence. Star could almost hear the silly little grin her herdmate put on when she was making a bad joke.

"I'm surprised you remembered."

Star took a sip of her drink, smacking her lips as the alcohol burned into them. Without looking she reached out with her magic and pulled the door open, granting Twilight Velvet entry to her miniature fortress of solitude.

A box followed the mare, floating in the pale glow of Twilight's aura as it settled on the floor between them.Twilight trotted over to the box and seated herself on it with a prim shuffle, before motioning to the drink at Star's side. "I see you kept up most of the promise, Star, but I really don't understand how this could happen now. We're not due for at least a month."

"The rest of you haven't spent the last half year trekking around the ass-end of the planet," Star grumbled. She lifted her glass for another drink, then thought better of it, placing the tumbler up and out of the way. "I think I'm still synchronised with that Zebra tribe I was following. I wasn't expecting this."

"Neither was Lucent."

At the sound of their stallion's name Star bit her lip, unable to hide the flush across her cheeks and neck. She turned back to her gin and chipped a few more pieces of ice into the glass, lest her hooves took it upon themselves to drag her back to Lucent's bed.

"Or Glint," Twilight continued, her expression torn between amusement and pity as she eyed Star's twitching limbs. "He said Lucent was completely exhausted and taking a late morning when I saw him at breakfast. Apparently you turned into a ravening monster from the deepest pit last night."

"I suppose I was a little more forthright than usual..." After a moment's thought Star downed her entire drink. Another wave of something almost pleasurable washed across her body; she groaned and refilled the glass. "You know how I get after a long time away."

Snorting, Twilight stood up. The box she had sat on opened with a quiet creak and she began to rummage around inside, her magic pulling and tugging at its contents around with a series of disturbingly sharp squeaks and rustles. Star could hear the velvety sound of straps tightening as Twilight spoke again.

"Crincile seems to think you were trying to make some sort of point," she said. "It took me hours to convince her that you were just being you."

"Oh. I'd forgotten about that as well."

Star put down her drink again, making sure it was settled properly on its icy shelf before she let it go. She'd been away when the young mare had learned she was infertile. By all accounts Crincile had been devastated, yet she'd seemed fine when Star had seen her the previous night. Not that Star had really paid all that much attention, having been first too preoccupied with finding somewhere to sleep and then finding somewhere to–

"Oh sweet Celestia's shiny plump buttocks," she groaned as another wave of horrendous lust washed over her. "I thought the gin would at least make it tolerable!"

"Now why would you think that given it has the opposite effect on you?"

Chuckling quietly at her own humour, Twilight returned to her task. Star heard the sound of one more strap being tightened and then the quiet clop of hooves as Her herdmate walked toward her, hips swaying awkwardly around a new addition hanging between her legs, slender and black and disturbingly shiny.

"How considerate of you," Star muttered as she eyed the cooler. She took another swallow of her drink and stood up, no longer bothering to hide her arousal. "It's probably too late for all this. I might as well just go back to Lucent's bed."

"Oh you can't be so sure. Besides, Lucent can't spend the whole week just taking care of you, it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the girls," Twilight replied. She nuzzled at Star's thighs before giving her a playful bite on the rump.

"Just get on with it," Star grunted, but Twilight just nickered and continued to tease at her hips.

Acting by itself Star's body pressed backwards against Twilight, almost forcing itself under her barrel. Star grit her teeth and tried to fight it for a moment before giving in with a pained grunt. She hated how little control she had over herself at times like this. It was embarrassing. And still Twilight seemed determined to tease her, lifting herself above Star with frustrating slowness. She walked her forehooves along Star's spine and then gently lowered herself against Star's back with a lingering sigh.

"Twilight, if you don't hurry up and fuck me–"

"Oh you enjoy it really you sourpuss," Twilight murmured, refusing to be discouraged. Star set her jaw and waited, refusing to respond until Twilight let out another, more plaintive sigh. "Fine. Be that way."

"I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible," Star grumbled as her herdmate shifted bodily atop her.

"Do a girl a favour and see how she repays you." Twilight thrust the cooler forward. Star grunted as it entered her with all the grace and delicacy of a falling tree. "You really should remember how to enjoy this, Star."

"You mean like Crystal and Scintilla enjoy it? They spend most of their heats locked in Crystal's apartment screaming obscenities at one another. It isn't natural," she said as she adjusted herself against the cooler. Twilight huffed and shook her head.

"This isn't natural."

"I'll s-say," Star muttered. She waited, but Twilight didn't move. "Well?"

"I just can't help remembering that you used to like this. Back when it was just the two of us you always seemed so eager. It's like all the joy has gone out of it." She shifted once again atop Star as she stretched out for the pump. Hesitating for a final moment, Twilight took the it in her mouth and squeezed.

To claim that Star's orgasm was intense would have been, at the very least, inaccurate. In fact it would have required an emergency symposium to offset the world-spanning linguistic crisis that would inevitably precipitate from the etymological ramifications involved in so thoroughly redefining the word. Yet she didn't pass out as so many of Twilight Velvet's trashy novels would have had a pony believe, nor at first did she yell, or shriek, or cry out Celestia's name despite a particularly entertaining image of the reigning monarch that forced its way into Star's mind and began dancing on the metaphorical tables.

Not to say that she was particularly lucid by that point. For Star the experience was somewhat akin to having her brain plucked out, dipped in a pot of Iboga extract and carefully re-inserted into her skull upside down. Colours were the thing she usually remembered most. Strange swirling lights and rainbows flying around against an indescribable scintillating background that always reminded her of Manehattan at night, if the entire city were only made of rock candy. And on fire.

The truth was she hated sex in heat. She hated the loss of control, the way it left her incapable of thought, the complete inability to quench her craving for more than a few hours. Every blindingly chromatic, mind-destroying moment of it. She hated it and she couldn't get enough of it and as she regained some sense of her relative location in time and space, Star found herself pressing herself hard back against Twilight's all-too-willing body, the tail end of a panting moan trailing from her hoarse throat and moist lips and an annoyingly satisfied glow spreading out and away from her nethers.

"Well."

Twilight Velvet's otherwise mellifluous voice seeming overly loud in the silence that followed. Star tried to swallow a mouthful of drool, but all she could do was swill it around for a while before eventually spitting it on the floor. She pawed at the frozen tiles, snorting and huffing as she tried to catch her breath.

"Better?"

"Marginally," Star growled, swallowing against nothing and finding her mouth parched where a moment earlier it had been flooded. She tugged a lump of ice free with her teeth and crushed it, sucking greedily at the chill water that melted from it. Ice cracked and shattered between her clenched jaws as Twilight's cooler slid out of her.

Twilight Velvet shrugged as she began the careful process of extracting herself from the cooler's harness. Star crawled over to her previous seat and poured herself a fresh drink, momentarily grateful for the fact that she didn't have to use her mouth and hooves for something so simple. If her magic could have shook the way her forelegs wanted to right now the glass would have been shivering like a hairless zebra in the arctic.

"It takes all sorts. Still, I can tell you one thing for certain, we are never, ever doing anything like that in here again. The acoustics are terrible!"

"Acoustics?"

"Certainly. These walls seem to reflect sound back to a single spot in the middle, roughly where my head was in fact. And considering how loud you can be..." The cooler was dropped back into its box with an unpalatable flapping of rubber and webbing. "You see what I'm getting at?"

"Oh." Star had somehow finished her drink without noticing that she'd even started. She poured another. "Well."

"I swear if anypony was outside they probably thought I was trying to murder you."

"I almost wish you were," Star mumbled, raising the glass to her lips again. She fell silent, willing her body to relax and wondering how long it would be before she had to go through it all again.

As the silence lengthened, Twilight slowed her packing before finally abandoning it entirely. She pressed her shoulder against Star's and nuzzled at her cheek. "It'll be all right, Star. It was only the once. Remember how Scintilla had to spend the whole week with the both of them just to land little Malachite? You'll be fine."

"The fates would not be so kind," Star replied, staring into her glass. "Besides it was at least six last night and two more this morning. And... I can feel it. It's like some tiny little magical hole inside me, same as when I ended up with Shining." She raised her glass in a mocking toast to the wall. "Bang goes my career. Again."

Star knocked back the rest of her drink and tugged the bottle away from its spot to hover close to her head, then turned and walked slowly toward the icehouse door. On the threshold she paused and looked back at her herdmate.

"Promise me something, Twilight."

Twilight Velvet closed her box and lifted it into the air, sounding distracted and distance when she spoke. "Yes?"

"If I'm anywhere near Lucent next time I go into heat, just save the heartache and kill me."

"Whatever you say, Twinkling Star," Twilight replied, much to Star's chagrin as she joined her herdmate by the door.

"Twilight you know I hate that name."

"Mmhmm." Twilight plucked Star's glass from her magic and took a tiny sip before passing it back again. She smiled at Star and kicked the door open. "Get some sleep. If you're lucky you'll be over the worst of it."

"And if I'm not?"

"Well. You'll just have to learn to live with it like the rest of us mortal ponies," Twilight replied as she trotted out into the warm summer air. Star grunted and briefly considered a retort of her own, but it would only encourage her in the end. She refilled her glass and stepped out into the light.

The reception of the office of the Chair of the Department of Ancient History and Archaeology bore all the signs of a room well-used by its occupant. Most of the offices of the senior faculty had large and ostentatious receptions befitting the perceived status of their occupants - except for the Archchancellor in the old Puddinghead building, whose office was more of a games room than anything else - whereas this was small and functional. A few comfortable couches lined walls that were almost entirely hidden behind posters, framed prints and various hanging nick-nacks. One entire wall was take up with a notice board that was stuffed to the edges with memos, reminders, lesson details and the jocular witterings of the more adventurous students.

There was also a pair of low tables covered in periodicals and books related to the school, and a desk, currently empty but usually the haunt of a secretary by the name of Sugar Shanks, a particularly attractive example of the male of the species, Star had always thought, though when she remarked as much to Crincile the younger mare just shrugged.

"I've never met him before," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She had been nearly silent for the entirety of their walk through the university, shying away from the gaze of the other students and pulling self-consciously at the fine blouse and coat Lucent had insisted she wear for the visit.

In contrast, Star had gone nude at least partly by choice, though there was the small fact that nothing in her wardrobe would fit around her swelling belly anyway. They'd made a very odd couple as the traversed the halls and she had no doubt that her students would quickly latch onto any rumour they could conjure about them. It didn't help that Crincile was attending her classes again.

"Why am I even here? I have an assignment to complete."

"I'm sure it's not important."

"You're the one who set it."

"Then I know it's not important," replied Star, grinning lazily and leaning back in her chair. Her magic reached out to a pitcher of water and two glasses on the far side of the room, the pitcher pouring its contents before it had even reached them. She set it down, wondering yet again why she had such a craving for water when it felt as if her bladder had decided to shrink to the size of a peanut.

"Of course not. It's only a full quarter of my Masters thesis."

Star finished her glass, her mind declaring to itself yet again that clean, cold water was probably the single most important invention of the pony civilisation. Yet as she went to pour another she saw Crincile carefully toying with her drink, twisting it back and forth between her forehooves as it floated in her magic. "What's the matter with you now?"

"You didn't answer the question." Crincile placed her glass carefully on the seat to her left and carefully placed her hooves between her legs.

"And what question would that be, dear?"

Crincile closed her eyes and sighed. "Why am I here?"

"Ah now that's one for the ages, isn't it? Perhaps you should have read philosophy instead of Ancient Equestrian Languages."

"Star. You know full well what I mean."

Rolling her eyes toward the ceiling and its vast mural, Star cleared her throat and set the pitcher and glass aside. She let her ears fold back for a moment before forcing them forward again. "Moral support."

"I'd believe that if you had any morals left to support." Crincile narrowed her eyes. "You're planning something aren't you. Perhaps related to that expedition you were discussing with Doctor Roola a few days ago?"

"Oh, you heard that?"

"I was in your office for what was was supposed to be a progress meeting regarding the project I'm supposed to be working on right now."

"Don't you worry about that," Star replied, now toying with her own drink. She rolled the glass between her hooves and then let it float away somewhere safe. "There is an opportunity that I'd like to pursue, but I may not be in the best of conditions to do so, which means I'll need some help. Both here, today, and later on in the field. It could present an opportunity for you as well."

"What kind of opportunity?"

"I've noticed that you have a gift for language. You speak Adlertsch like a native which is quite impressive given you don't have a beak. You seem capable of picking up a new one in relatively little time too if I'm any judge. I've managed to get the gist of the grasslands patois but it always helps to have a second speaker along."

"Twilight already speaks it. Why not take her?"

"She hasn't been on an expedition in years. Too busy." Water splashed as Star tugged her glass back from its hiding spot in the air. She took a sip. "Besides, I'm not sure she'd be all that amenable to going this time."

A door opened on the far side of the reception before Crincile could answer, admitting a secretary, who gazed at the pair before consulting a diary floating by his head.

"The Professor will see you now, Doctor Sparkle."

"Thank you, Sugar," said Star as she leaped from her seat and set off at a brisk if somewhat wobbly trot across the reception. She saved the barest of glances for Crincile as the younger unicorn struggled to keep up. "Come along dear, don't want to keep Professor Path waiting."

As she passed by she winked at the secretary, but he didn't pay attention, being too busy with his diary to look at her. Given her current state that suited Star just fine. She wobbled on toward the door and nudged it open.

Past the double-fronted glass doors was office illuminated by the early autumn sun that streamed through four large windows on the far wall. The heads of a pair of cherry trees danced in the quad beyond, still bearing the remnants of the year's fruit, a few leaves showing just the first blush of fall.

The room itself interested Star more, resembling less an office than a small apartment. A kitchenette lurked behind a partition at one end of the room, separated further from the rest of the space by a small table and a few mismatched chairs. Shelves lined two of the the walls, stuffed with books, many of which Star had idled her way through as a student. The free space on the other walls was taken up with artefacts and trinkets, interspersed with dozens of aged photographs and a smattering of framed newspaper clippings, all bearing the image of the same stocky brown pegasus in a grimy shirt and pith helmet. She grinned fit to burst in every single one.

The same pegasus looked up from a haphazard pile of papers on the enormous oaken desk that completed the room. Her face was careworn and a little more jowly than the photographs, her muzzle was grizzled salt and pepper and her dark grey mane was streaked with white, but her grin was unmistakable. She shared it now with the pair as she shoved her papers to one side and stood up.

"Star!" Professor Path flared her left wing in greeting as she stumped around the desk to meet the two of them. The right stayed firmly pressed to her side. "Look at you! Plump as Celestia's sunny backside–"

"And twice as pretty, yes," Star cut in, rolling her eyes. "It was old the first time you said it."

The old mare shook her head, still grinning as she wrapped Star in a broad hug. "It's been too long." She backed away again, staring at Star and for a moment her smile took on a slight melancholy cast. Abruptly Professor Path turned her attention to Crincile and held out a hoof. "Ah, where are my manners? Professor Independent Path. I'm the one who spent the better part of a decade trying to educate this recalcitrant horndog. Sometimes I'm almost convinced I succeeded."

"Crincile," the younger mare replied, reaching out to briefly touch the hoof with her own. Professor Path's grin broadened.

"I've heard a lot about you, Crincile. Oh not from Star, don't worry," she added quickly as Crincile's eyes grew wide. She shot Star a sly wink. "I wouldn't trust anything she says anyway. Doctor Deep over in Classics seems to think you're quite the rising star."

"Ah, well, thank you Professor Path."

"Please, call me Indy. Everypony always does..." Her smile wavered for a moment before reasserting itself. Indy ushered the pair toward a couch and chairs near the windows, again using only her left wing while her right remained stock-still at her side. "So! How's the family? Little Shining still a biter is he?"

"I'm not here for small-talk, Path."

"Oh I know why you're here, Star." Indy hauled herself onto a chair and let her wing fall limp across the arm. She sighed. "But for Celestia's sake, we work in the same department and I haven't had a chance to talk to you for nearly two years! I'm sure you could give an old mare a few minutes?"

With a loud harumph Star flopped on the couch opposite Indy and let her head flop backwards against the overstuffed cushions. "Shining's graduated from biting to zapping, Scintilla managed to drop a foal of her own, Lucent is lunatic as ever. Happy?"

"No, but I suppose that's all I'll get out of you," Path sighed. She pulled a pair of spectacles from her shirt pocket and balanced them on her snout, then from a second pocket tugged a crumpled roll of parchment that she spread out on the table between them. "Doctor Roola seems to think you're gunning for a spot on the Boarundi venture."

"Of course I am."

Star leaned forward for a better view as the professor finished smoothing out her parchment. It was a map, a copy of one she had made on her last trip to the area, though missing her notes on potential dig sites. She'd been sure to keep those separate, just in case.

"If I were your age I'd probably do the same," Indy murmured, laying a hoof on the map. Her smile twisted to one side a little and her eyes drifted to the walls and their burden of clippings and photographs until they came to rest on one in particular. For a moment Indy's eyes wrinkled and a very different smile played across her lips, but then the expression disappeared as she turned her attention back to the map.

Star and Crincile both turned to look at the picture. A moment later the younger unicorn slipped from her spot on the couch and walked over to it with wide-eyed curiosity. "Star, that's you!"

"And me in better days," Indy added with a glance at Star and another broad grin. "That was my last field trip. For some reason I took Star along with me. Probably one of the more entertaining expeditions I've been on."

Crincile touched the photograph with her hoof before returning to her seat with a curious frown. "Your last?"

"That's right. I thought I'd have one last hurrah before I retired to a permanent life in academia. Wasn't really the same as the old days though, what with one thing or another. Especially after that little accident in Marelasia..." For the first time since they'd arrived Indy lifted her right wing, revealing a tattered stump beneath a cover of a few living primaries. "Left me rather short of the qualifications needed as an aerial specialist wouldn't you say? Might as well be blind."

With a sympathetic glance toward Crincile, who had averted her gaze the moment she saw the ruined wing, Indy folded her limb away and pulled her glasses from her snout, tossing them on the table by the map. She rubbed her grey-maned temple and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Star, but I can't let you go."

"What? Indy–"

"No arguments," Indy growled. She pulled her other wing tight and sat up. The smile was gone now. "I have given you an incredible amount of leeway in this department, Star. Your methods are unorthodox, but you've been a valuable asset to this university from the moment you submitted your first postdoc. Your work with the Zebra tribes has been remarkable."

"These don't sound like reasons for me to stay," Star shot back. She shuffled forward on her seat and laid both forehooves on the table. "I have to be on that trip."

"And under other circumstances, I would already be recommending you for the spot," Indy replied. She smoothed the map out again, staring at it without seeing. "When does the expedition leave?"

"In about six months, what does that have to do with it?"

Silently, Independent Path turned her gaze on Star and tilted her head before pointedly lowering her eyes to Star's belly. "I think you know."

"You can't be serious." Star looked down and found she'd been rubbing a hoof across her belly. She forced it away and glared at the professor. "You're going to hold a little thing like this against me? Okay fine, I'm pregnant, all I need to do is drop the foal before I leave."

"Ignoring the problems in that plan for a moment, what if you're late?" Indy's wing flexed briefly. "You can't expect to take care of a newborn foal in the middle of, as I think you described it, a country-wide midden populated by more blood-sucking disease-carriers than parliament."

"What is it with ponies always using my words against me," Star growled. She folded her forelegs and looked away. "I'm going."

"And I say you're staying. And before you argue," Indy continued, holding up a hoof. "Let me explain a few things to you."

The professor leaned back in her seat, arching her hooves in front of her face as she watched Star for a moment. Satisfied that she wouldn't face any bitter complaint, she lowered her eyelids a little and let out a quiet breath.

"You've always been impetuous. Most of the faculty consider that a fault, but those old stick-in-the-muds would see it that way. Too busy filling in their expenses claims to get a good look at the world." The grin was back again as Indy lowered her hooves, but her voice betrayed little humour. "I've petitioned the Dean of Colleges to grant you an assistant professorship. After two years your tenure will be all but guaranteed and you'll be able to do almost anything you want, provided you don't do something stupid in the meantime."

"Like what?"

Again Indy's eyes strayed to Star's belly. She didn't even have to voice it, Star could almost read her mind. "All I'm asking from you is a little patience."

"I have to be on that trip, Indy."

"You're potentially throwing away your career and endangering your foal's well being for a half-baked theory about a lost city?"

"It's not half-baked! It–" Star closed her eyes. Again she was rhythmically stroking her belly but she didn't try to stop herself this time. It felt oddly comforting. "I have a solution to that anyway. Crinkle here can help me."

The younger unicorn's head jerked back as if she'd been struck. "What?"

"It's not complicated. You can help me with language." Star poked her belly. "And you can help me with this little bundle of joy when the time comes as well."

"You want me to travel half way around the world with you to be some sort of glorified foal sitter? Star! How–" Crincile closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I can't just abandon my studies at your whims, Star. I'm sorry, but I have to decline."

"Oh now you choose to grow a backbone," Star groused. Crincile refused to look at her and instead tilted from her seat and stumped away to the door. "Where are you going?"

"Home. I need to study." Crincile paused with her hoof on the door and looked over her shoulder at Star. "I'm sorry. It was nice to meet you, professor."

"Any time," Indy replied with a cheery wave. She waited for the door to close and then turned back to face Star. "So."

A simple statement, but it demanded an answer. One that Star knew she couldn't give. She took a deep breath and pursed her lips, not daring to look at her old mentor lest she say something she'd regret to one of the few ponies still capable of making her life hell.

"I'm not willing to see this taken from me, Indy. Not again."

"It's the nature of life that sometimes our dreams are taken away from us, Star," Indy said, her voice low and quiet. She took a deep breath through her nose and slid from her seat to circle the table and rest a hoof on Star's shoulder. Briefly her ruined wing flexed against her side before settling back down. "Your setback is only temporary and you get something good out of it as well. See it as a blessing. Spend a little time at pasture."

"Easy for you to say, you've got everything you always wanted."

Indy's wing flexed again. She patted Star on the shoulder and retreated to the windows with her eyes fixed on the clouds. "You're wrong, Star. I mean, look at me. An old buzzard with a broken wing stuck in a gilded cage. This is where my career ends."

"From the sound of things you're trying to put me in that same cage with you."

"Hardly," Indy snorted. She flapped her wing and leaned her head on the high window sill. "I know you. With your contacts at the Foreign Office and and that attitude of yours, you could use this place to launch yourself across the world. For you this would be the beginning."

Sniffling quietly, Indy turned from the window, briefly touching at her eye with the back of her wrist as she stumped across the room to her desk. "I'm stepping down in a few years. I'd like to think I can leave this place on a firm back."

"Well it sounds like you've got my life planned out quite nicely there, professor." Star stood up, wishing she could still pull of the dramatic leap from her chair instead of the awkward wobbling roll to which she had to resort. Letting her tail sweep from side to side probably saved the effort somewhat.

Strangely, Indy's smile only grew wider at the sight. She nodded her head and lifted her wing again. "I'll see you around, Star."

And then she turned away to stare at the clouds again, leaving Star unable to think up a suitable retort. She did the next best thing and stomped out of the office, making sure to slam the door extra hard before kicking Sugar Shanks' chair for good measure. The secretary just rolled his eyes.

By a combination of her demands and the doctor's orders the room was almost entirely dark, save for the light of a single glowing crystal on the bedside cabinet, though Star still saw her namesakes twinkling across her vision whenever she tried to move. It was like a hangover with the pain, for which she was deliriously thankful as pain wasn't something she had ever particularly enjoyed.

Right now she lay in her side, facing away from the light, her eyes fixed on the darkest part of the wall as she watched the latest batch of bright sparks dance and fade. At the pit of her stomach a bundle of heat and magic was huddled, a tiny snout pressed against her coat. She could feel a little cloud of hot breath on her skin with each of its exhausted sighs.

With a sigh of her own, Star rolled her eyes toward the filly nestled by her teat and stared, unable to summon even a momentary reaction to the sight. She lay on her side too, tucked up close to Star's belly with her legs curled up in what Velvet would probably describe as an adorable little ball of cuteness or some such rot. Her nose was pointed toward Star's teats, still glistening wet with milk and saliva, and her little round stomach bulged with her first greedy meal. And to top it off she'd already crapped the bed.

The twinkling morass was coming back. Star let out a breath and closed her eyes as she tried to find a position that would send them away again without also forcing her to roll in her foal's muck. Just as she was getting comfortable again the room brightened with an opening door that let a flood of noise wash over the room. The silence returned a moment later and two distinct sets of hooves shuffled quietly around the bed. As soon as they stopped moving, Star opened her eyes wide to glare at the newcomers.

"Well now isn't that just the most adorable thing you've ever seen," Twilight Velvet cooed to Crincile at her side. She leaned in close to lay a gentle kiss on Star's forehead and for just a brief moment Star was able let herself forget where she was, or what she'd just been through.

It took only Crincile's quiet sniffling to bring her crashing back to the present. The younger unicorn was biting her lip, a wrist pressed against her eye to stem the tears. She seemed to be smiling and bawling at the same time.

"What's the matter with you?"

"She's s-so tiny..."

"I would beg to disagree," muttered Star, closing her eyes again. "What are you two doing here anyway?"

"Visiting." Twilight drew back from Star and seated herself on a nearby chair. In the crystal lamplight her pale coat glowed almost white against the dark wall. Her eyes shone beneath a slight frown.

Crincile joined Twilight a moment later, primly seating herself on the edge of a second chair.

"And Crinkle?"

"Star, I do prefer Crincile,"

"I know," Star muttered darkly. Feeling an itch on her side she rolled a little to scratch, dislodging her new foal from its empty dreams. The filly squawled and gasped its resentment at the sudden disturbance but Star ignored it. A moment later the foal had settled back into her sleep.

Having waited a moment to be sure the foal really was asleep, Twilight spoke again. "Scintilla and Crystal have taken a week in Trottingham."

"Figures. She nearly went ballistic when she found out I was having a filly. She's probably gone to hire an assassin."

"I think she'll come around," Twilight replied with a wry smile. "Have you thought of a name yet?"

"No." Star didn't bother looking at either mare, preferring to glare at the same ark patch of wall she'd found earlier. She took a breath. "Nothing came to me."

"Surely you must have felt something–"

"I felt plenty. Kicks in the bladder, a craving for nachos, that delightfully intense aroma of vomit in the toilet and a right now distinct urge to buck every stallion I see in the head. I felt my nethers torn to pieces by a melon with a spike and I felt the indignity of shitting myself the minute she popped out, and right now I can feel all the muscles in my belly turning to soggy elastic." She took a long breath and let it blow out through her nose. "If you mean that mystical magic nonsense I'm supposed to feel when she quickens inside me, no. No I did not feel that. All I felt was a black hole into which I poured my entire life, my career and a goodly portion of everything I ate and in return I get a little parasite who takes all the good I produce and turns it to a stinking mess on the sheets."

A firm kick against the foot of the bed punctuated Star's last word. The sound shook the little foal out of her sleep and she began to gripe, tired little quailings that betrayed just how exhausted she still was.

"Oh you poor little thing." Twilight leaned forward to peer at the foal. "She's not wearing a diaper?"

"I can't use my magic," Star muttered. "Gives me a headache."

"Then you should have asked for help," Twilight replied as she gently lifted the foal from the sheets. Her eyes widened as the filly rose from the shadow of Star's belly and into the light. "Star, she's filthy."

"She made that abundantly clear all over the bed," Star groused. She had her eyes closed again as if that would somehow send the pestering mare away.

"I mean, Star, that it's been hours since she was born. You were supposed to clean her." Twilight Velvet stood up, with her head low and her ears folded back. She thrust herself across the room, pausing only a moment to deposit the filly in Crincile's unresisting forelegs. The little foal fell silent almost straight away, nuzzling curiously at the strange new scent that surrounded her before yawning and falling straight back to sleep.

"You think I'm going to put my mouth anywhere near that?"

"You of all ponies should understand the need for grooming newborns, Star," Twilight grunted. She tugged a cloth from the sideboard and splashed it in a jug of water before returning to the newborn. "If you want to have any sort of bond with your foal–"

"What makes you think I would? Besides, Shining tasted bloody awful. I'm not putting myself through that again."

"She's your child," Crincile whispered. She rocked the foal back and forth for a little while until Twilight brought the cloth down on her coat, gently dabbing back and forth to mimic a tongue.

"Only by bad luck! I never wanted her."

"How could you be so heartless?"

"I'm not heartless, I just..." Star clenched her jaw. She didn't have the energy for this. "I'm so tired."

"It's all right, Star, we understand," Twilight replied. She was smiling again, but there was an undertone to her voice that Star had never noticed before. And her eyes didn't mirror the smile either, but instead were narrowed at her. Guarded.

Star let her head flop against the pillow while the two mares fussed over her newborn. The foal squirmed, signalling her reluctant return to the waking world with a series of little squawks and whinnies. Her eyes opened and fixed on Velvet almost instantly.

"Sounds like she might be hungry," Twilight Velvet said, keeping her voice low. Before Star could disagree the filly was shoved back up against her teats, where it immediately latched on and began eagerly sucking the life from her yet again, accompanied by sharp little gasps and chokes for air. Star glared at the curled up foal, its grey-purple coat now shining bright and clean. What sort of connection was she supposed to feel with a hairy little vampire berry? She looked away again and closed her eyes.

"Now. Is there anything else you need, Star?" Twilight's voice sounded caring but again there was that undercurrent. Star didn't know how to react to it so she did the only thing any sensible pony would: she ignored it completely.

"I just want to go home."

"It'll be a few hours yet before you can," Twilight sighed. She trapped around the room to the door. "I have to go and find Lucent before he does something silly, but Crincile can stay with you if you want."

The door opened, letting in another wash of noise. Star was too weary to protest the imposition. She let her eyes wander back to the darkness and wondered how long it would be until she could be rid of the child.

She heard a sniff. A moment later Crincile's seat scraped as she pulled it closer to the bed.

"I'm sorry, Star, I didn't mean to offend you before."

Inside Star groaned. The last thing she needed was contrition, especially from someone who hadn't done anything wrong. Outwardly she merely flicked her ear and shifted her hips to accommodate the foal a little more comfortably.

"It's just, seeing you with a filly and being so... so ill-disposed toward it, I– I don't really know–""

"I had the same conversation with Twilight when Shining was born, you know," Star cut in. She cleared her throat and snuffled at something blocking her nose. "And I'll say the same to you as I said to her. If I could swap, I would do so in a heartbeat."

"Why?"

I had a career. But there was more than that. "When I look at her, I know I'm supposed to feel something. In my head I know. I just can't seem to muster it. She might as well be a lump of rock for all the attachment I have to her."

"But she's your filly."

"And given time I'm sure I could learn to tolerate her in some fashion, but I don't have the time." Star swallowed again. Her throat felt unusually dry for some reason as she turned to look at Crincile. "If I have to choose between being her mother or my career..."

"There's no need for one to rule out the other," Crincile replied. She reached out to stroke the foal's mane; the filly curled up a little tighter and let out a relaxed sigh.

Star's jaw clenched as her foal tugged at her teat, trying to draw out more milk. "Boarundi was my big chance. The university won't authorise another expedition for years and I can't just arrange one for myself. I'll have work commitments, responsibility to those fools in the Foreign Office–

"A foal to raise."

Again Star's jaw tightened as she bit back on the instinctive response. She closed her eyes and let out an enormous sigh that somehow turned into a yawn half way through.

"Perhaps I should let you sleep," Crincile murmured, sliding from the chair. Star tried to respond but she was already drifting away in a twinkling cloud. It was amazing how quickly sleep would come upon her these days.

She dreamed of alicorns.

"Star, what are you doing?"

"Packing."

Twilight closed the door behind her as she entered Star's private study. "What for?"

"Changed my mind," Star grunted, nosing along a shelf. She pulled an old and battered tin cup from behind several worn journals and tossed it in her bags. "Going on the Boarundi expedition, told the university. They're fine with it."

"You're still nursing."

"It'll wear off after a few weeks."

"Star, that's not the point! She's too young to be weaned yet, you can't just abandon your foal like this!"

"Heaven and all its powers preserve me, Twilight, we herd for a reason! You're so damnably desperate for a foal of your own, why don't you take the little runt and play house for a few months?"

"But–"

"I don't want to hear it!"Star hefted her overstuffed saddlebags onto her back and marched toward the door until Twilight grabbed her tail. With a surprising strength she tugged Star back into the room.

"None of us has the time, Star. Scintilla's working, Crystal is useless with foals, Crincile is starting her doctorate next year, I have a job too."

"Get a sitter," Star growled.

"You're going to be gone for four years!"

Star yanked her tail from Twilights grasp and returned to the door. "And I have to leave now otherwise I'll miss the damn boat!"

"Star, if you walk out of that door then so help me I will–"

"You'll what, Twilight?" With a sneer Star turned back to look at her heredmate. Twilights face almost glowed red and she was pawing the ground. "What will you do? Kick me out of the herd? I was the one who courted Lucent, do you really think I would let you or any other pony take him away from me?"

"How could you even think that you– you ungrateful, conceited, arrogant–"

"Ungrateful! What am I ungrateful for Twilight? Being forced to give up my career just so you could have a little doll to play with? If there were any justice in the world I would have had your useless womb and you'd be pushing melons out of your cunt till the cows came home!" Ignoring Twilight's choking sob Star kicked the door open and stepped out into the hall. She glanced over her shoulder at her partner. "Unlike some ponies around here I actually have things I want to do with my life."

"Well– well fine, run away again why don't you! It's only what you've been doing ever since we met isn't it?" Twilight stalked around the edge of the room with her eyes fixed on Star. "Oh don't you worry, Star Sparkle, I'm going to keep up my end of this pointless charade of a relationship. I'll raise your foal. Properly."

"And turn her into a nice little mindless princess while you're at it."

"You– you'd probably just end up murdering her anyway!"

"Believe it," Star growled. She slammed the door on Twilight's wordless screech and immediately turned and ran toward the foyer, not even slowing as she shoved one of the maids roughly aside in her haste to leave. The young mare stammered a surprised apology but Star was already well away across the lobby. The doors flew aside under her magic, her hooves crunching gravel as she stormed away across the drive.

She glanced over her shoulder as the doors crashed again. Twilight shot out in pursuit, eyes blazing with righteous indignation. Somewhere along the way she had found Star's foal; the youngster was heft across Twilight's back, squalling and screeching at being so rudely awoken and doing not a damn thing to change Star's mind.

"Dammit Star Sparkle, you get back here right now!"

At the threshold of the gate Star rolled to a halt, one foreleg lifted in the air. Twilight was tramping back and forth near the porch, the filly on her back still warbling and nosing about as she sought the comfort of her mother's scent. Behind Twilight the door stood open and dark. Lucent stared out at Star from the shaded interior, his face empty of any emotion, eyes shaded beneath his brow. He spoke to Twilight; whatever words he used seemed to finally snap her out of her mindless rage and she turned, head hanging low and weary as she broke eye-contact with Star and walked slowly back into the house.

Lucent remained at the door, watching her. Just watching. By now Star would have expected an angry outburst, or at least a petulant stomp, but all she got was an empty, broken stare that refused to turn away. And neither could she turn away from it if she wanted to maintain any sense of dignity. Star willed Lucent to move first, to break their contact and look away, to let her leave without having to have all that shame and guilt inflicted on her. He refused her urgings and simply stared, with his jaw set and his ears pressed forward so that she could be sure she had his full and undivided attention.

Nothing she could do would turn Lucent's gaze from her; he wouldn't grant her the opportunity to escape unseen. Star lowered her hoof and then her gaze as she turned away. She could feel his eyes burning on the back of her head all the way to the first turn in the road, where a row of trees finally took her from his sight.

A bright summer sun beat down on Star's back and neck as she toiled across the heat-baked, hard-packed earth of a market square, ignoring the bustle as ponies packed their stalls in the draining heat and shuffled away to find shelter. Her destination was ahead, a small café, barely alive at this time of day with just a scant smattering of ponies lurking beneath the shade of a pair of dusty, tattered parasols that gave feeble protection to the café's patio.

The market of Châtaigneroux was hardly the Marengeti, yet to Star it felt more alien than any place in the Zebra homelands she had travelled. The heat was something she should have been used to; so to the bright sun, but the air was too still and the atmosphere cloying and dusty, choking her lungs and leaving her coat several shades darker than usual, not to mention itchy. On the grasslands the air was clear and bright, the sky blue and distant and studded with herds of feral white clouds. Here everything was the same ruddy grey, the horizon blending with the sky in a veil of dust and shimmering heat-haze brought on by another of the country's apparently never-ending droughts.

As she reached the patio a waiter launched from the shade and bounced toward her – literally bounced – grinning and calling out to her all the while, much to the disgust of those few patrons who hadn't retreated to somewhere cold and dark for the duration.

"Ah la belle mademoiselle Étoile, so nice to see you on such a fine warm summer's day," he sang, simultaneously adjusting a parasol and pulling back a chair for Star to be seated. Star had seen few earth ponies capable of multitasking so effectively – or flamboyantly, for that matter. She couldn't help but give him a brief, grudging smile for the effort.

"Morceau, the day is horrendous."

"But of course," the waiter trilled, glancing at the sky. "Les météorologiques have their, how might you say, special training requirements again today."

"That's a new one."

"Toi connaît la musique," Morceau said, laughing as he flipped open his order book. He leaned closer to Star and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "They are blockading Chevalais for better pensions, or so I am told by mes amis down at the bureau, though how making life difficult for our griffon friends will bring them more money I have no idea. Still, what can you do but enjoy the sunny day they have so generously given us in exchange mh? Now what can I get for you, my dear Étoile? Your regular? Or perhaps something a little more," he licked his lips, "non-toxic?"

"Just water," Star replied, peering out at the square. The last of the stalls had shut up and been dragged away, leaving nothing but bare dirt and cobblestone, and the peculiar, stultifying silence that always seemed to come with certain kinds of heat.

Morceau snorted and shook his head as he departed with Star's order. "Water she says. You are ill, Étoile, if you are asking for water; or touched by the sun perhaps. Maybe the silver lining has its cloud after all mh? Ah but there is not a cloud in the great wide sky..."

The café door rattled its bell as Morceau disappeared into the shady interior. That left Star another few minutes to herself, with nothing to do but stare at the deserted town square and mull over the last few months of her life as she had done every single day of the three weeks she'd spent in Châtaigneroux. It was unbearable, or almost so. She found herself wishing for a newspaper or a book, or even some trashy gossip magazine to pass the time. Or her journal, safely stashed in her room at the two-bit dive that laughably claimed to be a hotel.

The quiet sound of hooves on the pavement brought Star back to the dismal present, but at least it was something to hear. She turned a little to the newcomer, half-smiling. "Morceau I've changed my mind."

It wasn't Morceau. Star's voice caught in her throat as she looked up at the stallion standing over her, into eyes filled with so much longing and unvoiced desire. He tilted his head at her and blinked so very slowly, the way he had when they'd first started courting.

"Lucent."

The word was almost choked out between shallow breaths as she tried to take control of her body again. Lucent's eyes widened just a fraction at the sound but he didn't otherwise react, not even when the waiter returned with a clattering tray on his back.

"So that normally would be two and fifty-six but for you ma cherie it is– oh-hoh? But what is this?" With a casual smile Morceau set the tray down on a nearby table and wandered over to Star's side, though his eyes lingered more on Lucent than anything else. "Why, ma Étoile, you did not tell me you had such a fine stallion at your beck and call! I would have tried to seduce you sooner had I known."

"Coffee, Morceau. Marabica, black, honey, lemon, bring it out and then leave us in peace."

"If you say so, mademoiselle," the waiter replied, sighing and shaking his head. He set Star's water on the table and flipped the tray onto his back once again. As he left he hummed a jaunty tune that Star thought familiar, but couldn't place for the life of her.

She waited. Lucent, for all his usual personality, seemed strangely quiet and distant as he tilted his head at her again. It was as if he was waiting for something. They stared at one another for a while longer until Star threw her forehooves in the air, kicked back the other chair chair and shuffled around the table. She pointed at the empty chair and motioned for Lucent to sit.

"What are you doing here?"

Lucent lowered himself into the seat. He took a breath and looked around the square, finally breaking eye-contact, but still he didn't speak. His eyes strayed to the café door, briefly flashing with something that might have been anger before the resigned emptiness returned.

"I could ask you the same," he finally replied. "The university said your expedition ended months ago."

"I felt like travelling a little longer."

Lucent just raised an eyebrow at the statement. A shallow breeze wandered through the square in the silence, swirling up a cloud of dust into a briefly-standing devil that wandered past their table, bowing and dancing and circling back as if it couldn't get enough of their company before abruptly falling apart as the wind died. It took with it the last hint of sound in the square; even the crackle of baking earth and the creak of their seats seemed to cease, leaving just the heat and solid, lifeless air between them.

"See the world," Star continued. She tapped her hooves on the table and leaned back, watching Lucent for any reaction, but all he did was stare at the far side of the empty market. "Explore some place I hadn't explored before, you know? Trotyes was nice, that's where the expedition disbanded if you're wondering. Rather pretty little university town up in the pays de Râblé. Celestia alone knows how I managed to survive there. You know I never learned Prançais? No, wait, they called it Gambadoise up there."

Words failing her, Star reached for the glass of water and took a deep draught. Its short stay in the heat had turned it tepid, the warmth of the liquid tricking her tongue and making the drink taste sour and musty. Old. With shake of her head she put the drink down. A moment later the door creaked and rang as Morceau returned, bearing a tray atop his head with two steaming cups of coffee and an assortment of fresh-cut flowers.

"Mademoiselle, monsieur, deux café, les fleurs, l'addition," he sang as he laid out the items from the tray, before giving Star a quick bow. "Bon appétite."

Morceau turned to leave, then paused for a moment longer to examine Lucent. The elder stallion raised an eyebrow at his silent interlocutor, soon joined by the other as Morceau winked and briefly licked his teeth before dancing away into his café, humming the same tune Star had heard every day she had been to the place.

It was only once the door had closed that Lucent reached for his coffee, the cup floating gently upward in his magic until it reached his lips. He snuffed at it once, took a tiny sip and then set it back on the table, before leaning forward with a sigh.

"What will I do with you, Star?"

"I can think of one or two things," Star murmured. Lucent rolled his eyes and leaned back again, but he was smiling. Just a little. "Enough of the dancing, Luci. What do you want?"

The smile vanished, replaced with a downturned lip that really didn't suit Lucent's noble muzzle. He turned back to stare across the square, swallowing and blinking at imaginary tears before he spoke.

"Come home."

"Luci..."

"I need you, Star. We all–" Lucent closed his eyes and swallowed again. The tears were real this time.

"Luci, I've been away for long periods before. It's not as if you can't live without me."

He shook his head. "It's different this time. Those other times we all knew when you'd be back, we all knew... Star, you've been gone and almost completely out of touch. Scintilla, she's making noise about t-taking Glint away from me, or– or taking us both, taking over the herd. Crincile can't stand up to her, Twilight is just pretending nothing is happening. And the foals... Star, they have no idea what's going on and I can't– I can't help them. We need you back, Star. I need you back."

A hoof slid toward her. Now that she looked closer Star could see signs: a badly brushed coat, deep, dark bags peeking through the hair under red-rimmed eyes. Lucent hadn't slept well for some time if she was any judge.

"I'll deal with Scintilla," she said quietly, ignoring that her mind had apparently made itself up without asking her. Lucent swallowed again and didn't reply, but she could see the tension draining from his body like ice melting in the sun.

Somehow her coffee had managed turn cold despite the heat. She drank it anyway. She'd paid for it after all, or at least she would have in a few moments. Lucent was fiddling with his cup, eyes darting nervously back and forth between it and Star's hooves on the table. He cleared his throat and seemed about to speak, but again stayed silent.

"Okay," Star growled, rolling her eyes. "I suppose I should ask the ten thousand bit question. How is she?"

"She's, ah, well. Well enough. We had her naming ceremony a few weeks after you left." He gave Star a reproachful look; another important moment you've missed, it said. Star rolled her eyes.

"As long as you didn't pick anything ridiculous. If my daughter has ended up with a name like Sliced Granola or Scooter Skater I will not be held responsible for my actions. I'm serious," she exclaimed as Lucent started laughing. She couldn't help but smile. It looked like the first decent laugh he'd had for quite some time.

"Her name is perfectly acceptable. Even to you." The coffee cup by his hoof rattled as his magic toyed with it again. "After all you're the one who chose it."

"I did?"

"When we three first courted, Star, the pair of you told me that your first filly would be named after whoever didn't have it, remember?"

Star rubbed the side of her head as the memories of her youth slowly returned to her. It had been a very long time ago. "I see. The rash impetuousness of my quondam days catches up to me yet again."

With a slight smile she reached out to Lucent and touched his shoulder. It was the first physical contact she'd had with him in quite some time and it was as if she had just touched a piece of heaven itself. How could she ever have run away from this?

"It could be worse," she murmured, running her hoof up and down his foreleg. He didn't smile. "So. Twilight. I assume she has a few more? You noble types do like your long birth certificates."

"Amaranth," Lucent said, leaning toward Star. "After your sister."

"Is that so? I'm sure she must be delighted. What else?"

"Guinevere."

"After the first duchess of Canterlot? My goodness you do have your pretensions."

Lucent laughed and bobbed his head. He leaned closer and kissed Star on her snout. "And Sparkle, after the light of my life."

"I would hope so. That name is all my family has to hang on to these days." Star closed her eyes. Somehow she had found her way around the table to Lucent's side; her stallion leaned across her, resting his head atop her mane as a foreleg traced small circles against her chest and neck.

"I've missed you so, so much, Star," he said, voice quaking out of nowhere. "Don't ever do this to me again."

"Lucent..."

"Promise me," he said. "And come home."

The sun still burned, the air still clawed at everything, holding its heat close to their bodies. Pressed as she was against Lucent, Star should have been painfully overheated, but all she could feel was the deep throb of his heart and the cool of his breath against her ear. She turned slightly, bringing her nose against his coat to breath his scent, dark and musky and so achingly familiar. With a resigned sigh, Star closed her eyes.

Author's Notes:

Two things briefly.

First my eternal thanks to CinnamonSwirltheBreaded, who did a far better job editing this than I could manage on anything in a billion years (or possibly more) and to whom I have already tried pledging my firstborn without success. Honestly you guys, you should have seen it before...

Second, the academic titles used throughout this story conform loosely to the standards adopted by UK and Commonwealth universities. A professor is generally the administrative head of a department or school, with a small number of assistant professors under him or her, and beneath those a bunch of lecturers and instructors who go by "doctor" if they've got a doctorate, or just plain old mr/mrs/ms otherwise.