7. First Wound

Although Celestia had told Twilight there was no rush to moving back to Canterlot Castle, she had moved back there within two weeks. This was primarily because her new wings made her a little nervous. She had made lots of friends in Ponyville, and was worried her new status as a Princess might cause them to behave...differently with her, much as she'd seen them behave towards Celestia or Luna. To top it off, all her close friends - besides Rarity - were off world at the moment, and a strange mystical imbalance had rendered the world gate temporarily inoperable, making visits impossible...and Rarity and Spike's exact location at any given time was still unknown.

Shadow had used Chaos Control to get them to Canterlot straight from the library, as Twilight didn't really want any long goodbyes. Once there, they settled in quite easily, although they were both a trifle embarrassed by the fact that Celestia gave them one room to share...and the room only had one bed. This had brought raised eyebrows and knowing looks from the guards and Luna...and a wicked cackle from Discord.

At the moment, Twilight was reviewing her duties here. It seemed - among other things - her first duty would involve aiding Luna with the night sky by conjuring the stars into view. Shadow sat next to her, nuzzling her happily. After a bit, she giggled. "Shadow, what's made you so...affectionate lately?" she asked.

He smiled. "You."

Twilight blushed. "Not exactly what I meant. I mean, just a month ago you seemed wary of people almost, not scared, just...wary. And now, you're..." She blushed harder. "What's gotten into you?"

Shadow shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you could say hope."

Twilight looked right at him. "Huh?"

Shadow sighed. "You know what I mean. As the Ultimate Lifeform, I'm immortal. I'll never age or fall ill."

Twilight nodded. "I knew that, but what does that have to do with you not having hope?"

Shadow lowered his eyes. "After the fight with Discord, I looked around at my friends...and noticed how much they'd changed and grown. Some things were small and hard to notice...but Sonic actively seeking romance? I never would have believed it. Seeing that...I realized my friends were growing up...growing older. And I hadn't changed at all."

Twilight was silent, listening, but a seed of cold fear began to form in her heart.

Shadow continued. "I realized that if I stayed on Mobius, I would just watch as all my friends grew old and faded, left alone with the pain of loss. It would be like losing Maria all over again, only many times over. I...didn't think I could deal with it, so...I ran. I came here, to Equestria, where I knew I was not the only immortal. I thought living with other immortals, I might find comfort for my pain...but then I saw you."

Twilight smiled. "And moved in with me."

Shadow nodded. "You were so alone...the same loneliness that had haunted me for so long. With you, I found comfort...friendship...love." He lowered his head. "When I woke after Hearts and Hooves Day, I felt a cold knot of fear deep inside. While I knew that what had passed between us was right and something I wanted...I was still immortal, and you weren't. One day, I would lose you, and I didn't know how I would bear the pain."

"And then my wings spread," Twilight replied, no emotion in her voice.

Shadow nodded, smiling. "I knew then I wouldn't lose you, when Celestia explained you had ascended to become an Alicorn. That...you had become immortal." He nuzzled her, but paused. "Twilight, are you alright? You feel...cold."

Twilight looked at him, forcing a smile, although in the depths of her soul she felt as cold as a Windigo's tears. "I'm okay. I just...hadn't really thought about all of that yet."

Shadow looked stricken. "Twilight...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay," she said. "I'm glad I heard it from you." She stood up. "I think I need some air. Be right back." She turned to walk out, leaving Shadow staring after her.

She walked up to her room, staring out the window. She hadn't realized it before, but being an alicorn did mean immortality. That's why Celestia had been glad it happened while she still had her youthful vigor; so she would be eternally young. She would remain as she was, unchanging and unchangeable, down through eternity...as her five closest friends grew old and faded. And she would have to watch them slip away...and then live without them.

As the temperature in the room dropped, she fell into her thoughts. Could she live without Fluttershy's kindness? Rainbow Dash's confident swagger? Applejack's steadfast heart? Rarity's drama and generosity? Pinkie Pie's crazed antics? ...and what about her Big Brother Best Friend Forever? And her parents? Could she watch them all simply fade away from her? Could she bear being left behind?

As sorrow swamped her, she knew...she couldn't. Using her magic, she levitated a pair of shears up from the garden below. "I'm sorry Shadow," she whispered, positioning the shears over one wing, "but...I can't live forver." Opening the shears, she held them against her body with her wing spread, clenched herself, and forced them closed.

Before the shears closed, a beam of golden light knocked them from her magical grasp. "Twilight, no!" Celestia cried, true fear in her voice.

Twilight rounded on her teacher. "I can't do it!" she cried, seizing the shears in her magic again. "Please don't stop me! I can't handle forever alone!"

Celestia lunged forward, knocing Twilight back against the wall, breaking her concentration. "Sister, help me!" she called in desperation.

Twilight didn't bother trying to fight Celestia physically. She called on ehr magic, seeking the shears. Suddenly, Celestia's horn was against her own...but the sensation was far from pleasant, as Celestia was using her own magic to try and supress Twilight's. Twilight screamed in rage as her vision filled with golden light, and she pushed against it with every drop of magic in her possesion. To her amazement, she saw purpl force the gold back, and heard Celestia cry in pain.

Then a blue light joined the gold, and between them her own magic was suppresed. Then the blue pushed the gold aside, and the blue magic cradled her mind gently. When she could see again, Luna was leaning against her, her horn gently touching, her magic surrounding them both. Celestia was leaning against the far wall, breathing heavily. Purple crystal formations dotted her horn, but were slowly fading.

Luna turned to Celestia. "We shall handle this, sister. Thou art much too overraught."

Celestia started to say something, then fell silent and departed.

Twilight turned to Luna. "Why?" she demanded. "Why didn't she let me do it?"

Luna gazed at Twilight calmly. "She could not bear to lose you."

"But I don't want to be immortal-"

"Thinkest thou if all it took were the discarding of wings or horn to become mortal, that we would have hesitated longer than the time it took to chose one?"

Twilight stared at Luna in shock. "What...what do you mean?"

Luna gazed at her calmly. "We know the pain you go through now...the fear of eternal loneliness, driving you to find any way to escape it. Every alicorn faces this at some point in their lives, and how we deal with it can define us. However, mortality is not an option, not even for those who ascended."

Twilight looked at her. "How do you-"

"You are not the first to attempt this. We were once three sisters."

Twilight gasped in shock. "What...happened?"

"We do not speak our youngest sisters name. However, when she turned 20, she was in love with a unicorn stallion. She chose to turn her back on immortality to spend a mortal life with him. Facing the pain, she severed her wings from her body. ...she died on the spot."

Twilight gasped. "But...pegasi have survived without their wings in the past. How..."

Luna shook her head. "A pegasi may survive without wings, and a unicorn may survive without a horn...but an alicorn is a combination of all three pony races. We have Unicorn, Pegasus, and Earth Pony magic within us. That balance of the three forces is what makes us so powerful...and vulnerable. Should we lose either horn, wings, or hooves, we will die...instantly." As Twilight stared in shock and fear, Luna continued. "That is why our sister was so rough in stopping you. She feared losing the one who she sees as the daughter she cannot have."

Twilight snapped into focus on that last comment. "What do you mean?"

Luna sighed. "A long lived alicorn becomes sterile over time. We only have a 100 year period in which we might bear young. Our sister's came whilst we were trapped in the moon, and she had no time to pursue a mate, as she had to tend to the entire kingdom and all it's denizens on her own. Her time of fertility passed, and she bore no offspring."

Twilight shook her head. "But...Prince Blueblood-"

"Is a descendant of Princess Platinum. When we arrived in Equestria and defeated Discord, we were adopted into her family. We have seen the descendants of that line as neices and nephews ever since."

"Oh..." Twilight sat for a time, digesting this information. "Luna, what about..." She paused, unsure if she should ask this.

Luna glanced down. "Our time began when our sister's ended...and was expended completely whilst we were sealed in the moon. That was the price of our fear of eternal loneliness...the fear that caused us to fall to darkness, and become Nightmare Moon." She shook her head. "We blame ourselves, although our sister blames herself."

Twilight looked downward, but another question spilled out before she could stop herself. "What about Princess Cadence?"

Luna shook her head. "That we do not know. She did not ascend of her own accord. She is descended from the Queens of the Crystal Empire. When Sombre slew her mother, Cadence was only a filly, and the Crystal Heart imbued her with its light before it was hidden away. Unlike other alicorns, she has aged. We do not know how her magic works, only that it is strongly tied to the crystal heart."

"Oh." Twilight looked away, lost in thought. "So...mortality isn't an option to me anymore."

"No." Luna watched Twilight silently for a time. "We are somewhat envious of you, Twilight Sparkle."

"Jealous?" Twilight asked, surprised. "Of me?"

"Yes," Luna said quietly. "An ascended Alicorn's period of fertility is the 100 years immediately following ascension. You may have children...and you of all Alicorns have a beloved who is as immortal as you."

As both sat in silence for a time, a noise could be heard in the corridor outside. It was one of the palace guards speaking with Discord.

"What do you MEAN I can't visit the schools? Everyone loved me in the Hearths Warming Eve pageant, the kids will love me, too!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid a large majority of the parents are worried that you might...eat their foals."

"Oh please, I haven't eaten a pony in 3000 years! ...unless you count Celestia last night, but she was literally asking for it!"

"DISCORD!"

"Gotta run!"

As the sound of thrown magic and Discord's laughter faded into the distance, Luna glanced at Twilight. "One who isn't THAT, at any rate."

Twilight couldn't help but laugh. As they sat in silence for a while, she thought about what had happened...and a detail stuck out. "What were those crystals on Celestia's horn? They looked like-"

"That is what happens when one's magic is damaged by that of another. When you forced our sister's magic back, it damaged her briefly."

"Oh my goodness!" Twilight looked stricken. "I hope she forgives me!"

"She would gladly have face dthe total loss of her magic if it meant not losing you."

Twilight sighed. "Oh." She thought for a time. "Did I...really overpower Celestia?"

"No," Luna said firmly. "Celestia did not use ehr full power against you. Neither of us would dare to do so against one for whom we care. You, however, were unaware of the full extent of your new power, and turned its full might against her."

Twilight stared. "Why didn't she respond in kind?"

"Because when she wields her full power, she channels the might of the sun, and is surrounded by a corona of its heat. Had she drawn forth her full power, the flames would have consumed you." Luna shook her head. "I was able to supress your magic by reaching into your mind to touch your heart."

Twilight shook her head. "Looks like I have a lot to learn." She sighed. "And eternity in which to learn it."

Luna smiled at her. "At least you will never be alone." She leaned against Twilight briefly, wrapping one wing around her. "And we will always be here as well, Twilight Sparkle. We are glad we shall never lose your friendship."

"Never, Luna," Twilight replied, leaning into the embrace. After a time, she stood up. "I should go. I need to talk to Shadow."

Luna nodded. "He is probably worried about you. The entire castle felt your sorrow."

"Oh dear." Twilight raced back downstairs. "S-shadow?"

Shadow cannoned into ehr, wrapping his forelegs around ehr and holding her tight. He didn't say anything, just held her, as though he would never let her go. Twilight leaned into the embrace for a time.

A few hours later, they sat, leaned against each other, just enjoying each others company. Finally, Twilight sighed. Shadow looked up at her. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Twilight smiled. "Just...wondering how I'm going to tell my friends about this. I mean, it's not like I can say it in a letter, right? 'Hi guys, Twilight here. Just thought I'd write and let you know I've got a coltfriend now, and hey, I'm an alicorn!' Yeah, that wouldn't go well."

Shadow smiled. "I think we're a bit beyond me being a coltfriend."

"Yeah, but I couldn't put down a lover! That would sound wrong."

"And the rest of it doesn't?" They shared a brief laugh. "Well, you could try calling them."

"Umm...there aren't any phones in Equestria," Twilight said. Shadow had told her about telephones when they'd talked about Mobius.

"I meant with your magic." He tapped her chest gently with one hoof. "Your bond with your friends...that means they're in your heart, right? If you look for them in your heart, your friendship - strengthened by the bond of the Elements - should guide you to them." He shrugged his shoulders. "At least, it seems that way to me."

Twilight shrugged. "It's worth a try." Closing her eyes, she let herself sink into her magic. She sought the tie to Rainbow Dash first, focusing on all her memories of the cyan pegasus. She felt something, but it was at the barest edge of her reach. She opened her eyes. "Rainbow Dash is too far away," she said quietly.

Shadow shrugged. "Believable. She's with Sonic. They're probably world hopping, looking for new adventure."

Twilight chuckled. "Yeah. I'm gonna try Pinkie Pie next." Closing her eyes, she sought her tie to her bouncing pink friend.

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Everything was just within reach of understanding, but just beyond the mind's capacity to grasp. But she didn't need to understand something to make use of it. In fact, understanding got in the way. The truth was that through not knowing, she could do more than she could dream. The chaos of her thoughts went beyond her capacity to contain, and she didn't bother to try. Her thoughts spread beyond the edges of the cosmos and within the confines of a quark. The truths of the universe self evident, but only if she didn't seek to grasp them...

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Twilight pulled back with a gasp, shaking all over. "Wow," she breathed, catching her breath.

"What happened?" Shadow asked, concern in his voice.

Twilight managed to catch her breath. "Remind me to check with Discord if there's any chance he and Pinkie Pie are related."

Shadow chuckled. "I could believe it."

Twilight shrugged. "Well, Applejack should be easy to find. She's either at Sweet Apple Acres or in Mobius seeling her wares." Closing her eyes, Twilight felt for her friend.

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Warm hands caressing her body, the heady scent of wolf musk, the pleasurable sensation of a long wet tongue caressing her-

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Twilight shot back into her own mind, blushing. "She's...busy," Twilight told Shadow luntly.

Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Busy?"

"Yes," Twilight said, giving Shadow a direct look. "Busy."

Shadow blushed. "Oh."

"I'm gonna try to find Rarity," Twilight said calmly. Sinking into her magic, she thought of the white unicorn.

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Breath as hot as fire against her flank, scaley flesh against her coat, the sinuous body wrapped around her, caressing her entire body-

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Twilight pulled back to herself. "Should ahve seen that one coming," she mumbled, blushing again.

"Busy?" Shadow asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There are some things I don't need to know about my little brother," Twilight said, her face bright red. "Well, at least I'll be able to talk to Fluttershy." Closing her eyes, she sought the yellow pegasus within her own heart.

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Darkness, the scent of human sweat, the feel of hands on her body and bare skin beneath her sensitive fingertips, the sound of heavy breathing.

Fluttershy's voice. "Have you been a good boy?"

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Twilight shot back into herself. "Oh, COME ON!"