Hey, hey dude, wake up. Wake up! Wake up dammit! Your in SPACE! Dont you know that?! SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE! LOOK! THERES A STAR! THERES ANOTHER ONE! SPACEEEEEEEEE! SPACE GODDAMNIT! WAKE UP! Or are you getting bored of space? I know i am. Getting bored of space.

Son, i am proud of you for being of space

I AM THE BEST SPACEMAN EVVVERRRRR

*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep*

Oh my god, why did i program this thing?

*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep -*

  Oh thank god, it shut up. Have to remember to... wait a minute, if it stopped, that means.

Fuck.

FUS RO DAH!

'Fuck!" A loud thump indicated his falling to the floor

Spacespacespacespacespacespacespacepsacepsacechickenspacepsacespacesapcepscasespacespcaespacespace

He clutched his head "Goddamnit, just... shut up..." He said weakly

SPACESPACESPACEPSPACESPASPACESPACESAPCESPACESPACESPCAESPCAESCPAESPCAELLAMASPACESPAC-

"SHUT UP YOU DAMN BUCKET OF BOLTS!"

What was that, you say? You want us to shut up, you say? Well i say you have to try harder The alarm clock kept on with his morning troll.

And go get a shower,yeeesh it smells like some Gorilla gave birth while trying out diuretic medication... Oh, wait.

"Fucking..." He started to rummage for something to throw at the clock

Wasn't that your mom that tried a diuretic while giving birth to you?

"That's it, this is the last straw dammit"

Ooooh, im sooo scaaaaaaaared, what are you going to do, unplug me? Böring! I've seen BASIC encryptions more complex than that threat you just spewed to me Another thump indicated that the clock was smashed by a book that somehow managed to fly.

"You asked for it, bastard." he said as he slid from his bed.

  "Aah master David, you're awake, i was beginning to wonder if you ever will" He said as he entered the room

  "Oh god, Robert, do you know what i did yesterday

"Ahh, you mean the -ehm- party that you attended yesterday as a end-of-the-world celebration?"

  Huh.

"I only went there to see the looks on their faces after midnight passed, not to drink or anything..."

"Yes master David, and im a Purple Unicorn that shits out rainbows and pisses lemon candy"

Oh Robert, you so silly, making jokes and whatnot

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, so maybe i got persuaded into drinking one glass"

"Pfft, more like thirty"

"Whatever, what did i do after?"

  "Well... you came here with some people you met during the party, dig up the cable for the gate, fed it to the pigs that your dear Auntie Esperanza sent you for Christmas..."

  Friggen' bitch, she's still jealous that i got the family land

  "After they died, you guys drank Chloroform from the medicinal cabinet. Most of you passed out, leaving only you and the fifty-something lady trying to seduce you into bed."

  Damn. "And what happened to her?"

  "Oh, i gave her some of the cookies that you baked spiked with knock-out liquid saying that it will 'make it feel better'"

David shivered at the idea of having a drunken intercourse with an old woman.

"Damn Robert, i don't know what i would do without you."

"Well, as a thank-you favor, you could get showered, and begin working on the electrical gate, the backup cable is in the tool shed, Doctor Ahmed is coming at  to deliver the last three boxes of Chloroform for your cannon"

   "Oh right! the cannon!"

  "Before you go though, please get showered, it smells like a Gorilla gave birth while on a diuretic regiment in here."

  "Ha-ha Robert, ha-ha. You're just lucky that your basically part of the family."

      He sniffed his armpits. It made his eyes water.

    "Well, of to the shower"