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1 or 2 minute speed writing challenges

by ARBPW

Chapter 1: Salad

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Salad

Acting in 'Star Wars' I felt like a raisin in a giant fruit SALAD, and I didn't even know who the cantaloupes were. Cantalopes? Cantalopes, like from that song? No wait that was "home on the range" and that was antalopes. But what about zebras? Don't they eat salad? Zecora has loads of flowers, maybe she puts them all into one gigantic mixing bowl and cooks them up into a huge brownie. And knowing the shit that growing on the floiors of the Everfree forest, there's bound to be every kind of high you could imagine coming out of that thing. High as a kite. Floating in the breeze. Can you imagine what would happen if a pegasus' wings stopped working in midair? I'm sure Rainbow must have had that happen at least once. Twice. Three times a lady. Yesh. But I can't recall the last time I heard that song to be honest. Honesty and lies, same difference. Just another day. Poom. Modsfksdfgsadgfnjisdsing. Random typing on the keyboard is fun, but I only have 5 seconds left. Jesus christ my fingers hurt. Somepony help me. Kfgdfg.

Tanks

If the tanks succeed, then victory follows. And he will, knowing that badass tortoise. I mean how else can anyone comepete against the awesomeness that is Tank? No pet is as good as him! But can you imagine Tank riding in a tank? Tankception! I always liked that movie, pretty good. Bit weird. Chris Nolan is good. Dark Knight. But is he Quintin Tarantino. I think not. No,no,no,no,no there's no lemons! Or Tarantino in this case. But anyway, Pulp Fiction is a great movie, but I Iike Kill Bill too.

Corn

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine. The sunshine must be feeling pretty crap about itself, getting laughed at by the wind and all that. Or is it the corn? I can't remember and I've only been writing for 5 seconds. Six. Seven. Eight. Darnit stop trying to count, you're too slow. And I should be good at this 'cause I had an Enligsh exam today as well. But it went pretty badly. You can't fuck with the chocolate man? Nostradamus was pretty stupid wasn't he? Couldn't even predict his own death. Suddenly Applejack. Why can't I get this fic right? AB and AJ just seem to have the perfect relationship, why is this so frustrating? Could it be that I'm just not thinking outside the box? Or am I too stupid?

Next Chapter: Tanks Estimated time remaining: 1 Minutes
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