Canterlot, a pristine city carved entirely out of the marble of surrounding mountains. No amount of seismic activity or raging hurricanes have ever made the slightest dent in its precarious foundations, making it the longest standing pony-made landmark in Equestrian history.

A child with indomitable power couldn't shake the city and all a horde of amorphous arthropods could possible accomplish was a few moments of terror.

There's an old joke about the royal city, that it's the center of the very universe. However, for all most ponies know, it may as well be. Two gods, or goddesses if everypony is still whining about political correctness and all that garbage, literally walk the streets every single day! They control the skies themselves, skies and heavens that they know create. A clumsy little wall-eyed pegasus bouncing around on a cumulonimbus has nothing on these beauties.

This city honestly is nothing more than one gigantic aristocratic bore-fest. Everyday is almost the day that came prior to it. Rich ponies walk with their snouts so high in the air one would think they were trying to see their tails. Actually, that sounds like it could be wonderful. A snap of a talon and ka-blam, instant rendition of those fortune tellers in that incredibly long poem about Tartarus.

Though I have to admit that the whole thing is a paragon of literature, that Dainty guy really knew his stuff. Wait a second, where was I? Oh right, the bitching and whining, that seems to be about all I can do these days.

All I can do while I just sit here in this block of cement made out of my once handsome- Right, right, Canterlot.

Seriously, the place is the direct opposite of the Everfree Forest! Everything, absolutely everything, is completely controlled in Canterlot. Two mares, beautiful or not, decide when the sun and moon rise. a council of a bunch of less than beautiful ponies get together and decide laws and festivals for years to come. None of that garbage ever happens in the Everfree, even I couldn't tamper with any of its intrinsic matters in good faith. Timberwolves rip each other apart if there's a lack of food, the trees grow wherever they want to, and the weather flows based entirely upon the whim of nature.

Nature, Mother Nature, such a beautiful name that rings ever so synonymously to Chaos. Nopony remembers that anymore, well, so long as we extrapolate the Big Three from the average. So many poor souls that are too young to recognize the fact that their land is only natural by the standards of ponies, so many have forgotten that nature was chaos in the very beginning.

I remember the beginning, at least what my mother told me of it. There was a time without shape and, well, time. Then she would ramble on about things naturally coming together in the same fashion of equine coupling and I would get bored.

I was always bored for some reason, but I always had an outlet. I had friends, plural in the sense of their only being two. Oh, don't go thinking I'm telling a sappy story here, I only wanted them. Chaos knows why I would want anypony else. We were all so sweet back then, back when we were Dissy, Lulu, and Tia. Tia, oh sweet Tia, Dissy had such a little crush on you; still does, but that's not the point. We were kids and then we were gods, gods! Over time the royal sissies discovered their powers through their obligations and responsibility. They got so much taller, their manes probably stopped being actual hair, and they started controlling the skies and expanding their empire. Their legs went up to Cloudsdale too, woof!

Where they grew, I grew. My antlers finally grew in and my magic doubled in power, the beard wasn't too bad either. I've never been able to grow back my fang that Tia kicked out when I she caught me stealing looks at her flank though, I really should go see a dentist or something if I ever get out of my bodily prison. There I go rambling again, but what do you expect from a god of Chaos?

A bearded wizard once said that creatures are products of their environment. That old bag of bones had no idea how right he was. The girls started to get a little more annoyed with me and I with them, but I just dismissed it as puberty or something. Eventually, though, we started fighting. Those beauties wanted order where I wanted beautiful chaos.

They were just little scuffles at first, I would blow up a settlements courthouse and they would fly out from the palaces to send lightning through my favorite leg, nothing major. I never won those little fights, what with little old Discord being pitted against the terrifying forces of the royal sisters. After a string of losses my memory gets all hazy, like I'm looking at it through a vanilla ice cream mist, then I can see them standing above me. Celestia was wearing two necklaces with this dumb crown thingy to somehow finish the ensemble and Luna had on a bunch of Gothic looking bracelets, I guess she hadn't grown out of that phase yet.

Those two positively radiated power, to be honest I really did think that it was curtains for me. I was probably bleeding and just may have been missing a head, but that's just me. Those stupid gemstones on those stupid chains hurt just to be around, like they were magical nails pressing into my beautiful brain. All of their stupid alicorn magic hit me like an all powerful impact from Celestia's gigantic butt, despite the pain, the power was titillating.

I wanted those jewels. I wanted them, so I stole them. It was such an easy task, all I had to do was snap my talons. It was a trick I had seen mother do once. "A snap away", she used to say anytime I would ask her where my dessert came from. I thought about her so much when I would lay bleeding before my friends. I remember how they looked as cute as Tia and Lulu when a pile of cake fell on their heads, I do believe that was the first time I had ever used my personal magic.

One could say I mugged the two and I could say, "semantics." I wanted their girly amulets so I took them, the ends justify the means. You really can't imagine what I could do with those things, it was like they were made only for power! Those rocks taught me how to flip cities and turn even the most loving of ponies on one another.

I wasn't Dissy anymore.

We weren't kids anymore.

We were gods.

I was a god.

It took me a while to realize that, but I exploited that fact the moment I learned it. My first order of business was to dump off my stolen goods on a bunch of nameless ponies. What I wasn't expecting was the results of my little scapegoats interactions with their gifts. Something just brought out the worst in those ponies. They got greedy, malicious, and everything else horrible. So long as I'm still being honest here I can say with my paw at my heart that it made me cringe.

I would use them as my personal delta squad for a given amount of time while I went around "Discording" everything in my path, sometimes I wouldn't. Those ugly little things hated me, but always obeyed me if I told them to spread chaos. They kept calling themselves the Elements of Disharmony, but they spat it out like it was my idea. Sure, the name was cool, but I'm an honest draconequees, I wouldn't steal a patent like that.

For a while there, things were pretty nice, I ruled Equestria and had everything I could ever want. Eventually though, my fun just had to get sent tumbling downhill by my old friends. There wasn't even much of a climactic battle prior to my first imprisonment. The royal pains in the flank came in wearing my little trinkets and started yelling at me, telling me it was over or something. I remember how hard I laughed and then how much everything absolutely hurt.

I was frozen for well over ten thousand years after that, pining to get out. And what do I do not three days after getting out? I get tossed right back in to my rock hard abs to sit and wait in such an emasculated position for chaos knows how long.

I want to move.

I want to move so bad I can barely stand it.

I want to reach out and snap my talons and send this entire world toppling into an endless sea of despair. I want to watch cities burn in blocks of ice. I want to make those six mares that turned me into a tacky lawn ornament crumble themselves and everything around them.

I at least want to stare at Celestia's butt or something. Seriously, I see the exact same thing every day. I'm not sure if I actually see it or not, but I digress. The same day guard walks by, followed soon after by a night guard, nothing special. Everywhere there's lights, everywhere there's somepony walking around with their own lives, and here I am encased in my stone body.

If I could only just reach out and touch somepony, somepony I know, I would be satisfied. If I could snap my talons or anything I would, trust me. I don't even need to use my own magic, If I could just have a few connected nerves I could channel the intrinsic magic in nature just like unicorns do. In he end I can concentrate all I want and nothing happens, nothing but the sensation of that stone shifting into a new shape.

Nothing but the...

Hang on a second here.

As part of his sworn duty to his princess, Sunshine Smiles made his rounds about the palace's garden. Being a night guard was an easy job, all he really had to do was make his rounds and look at the same statues. He silently trotted along before stopping, looking back out of pure curiosity. With a sigh, he turned and made headway towards the guards headquarters to fill out a good mountain of paperwork. How nopony had noticed the obscene art yet was a mystery to him. "Leave it to a villain to go and raise his middle talon to anypony passing by", he sighed into the night air.