"Wait, I can explain!" Rainbow Dash took to the air by reflex. She felt wind at her back, from the balcony, and risked a glance that way. She knew she could sprint the short distance out to freedom- only Fluttershy could fly, and if Rainbow wanted, she could have outpaced and outflown her friend easily.

If she wanted.

"She's trying to get away!" Twilight shouted, dismayed.

"Oh no she ain't!" Applejack flicked her tail, and her lasso sailed across the room. With a practiced yank, the cowpony tightened the loop- Rainbow Dash barely had time to twist out of the way so it closed around her back legs, and not her wings. Ensnared, and with little room to manuever, she could do little but flail her wings and front hooves.

"Hey, leggo!" Rainbow Dash yanked on the rope- though with the way Applejack had dug her hooves in, she would've had better luck trying to tow Canterlot castle itself. Applejack yanked on the rope again, and pulled Rainbow Dash down to the ground. The pegasus saw the floor rushing up at her, and gritted her teeth as the marble floor knocked the wind out of her. Her vision blurred as a fresh wave of pain washed over her, all of her earlier bumps and bruises flaring up again. Groaning, Rainbow Dash tried to stand- only to find a delicate, gentle hoof at her shoulder.

"Please, darling." Rarity said, looking down at Rainbow Dash. "Don't get up. We don't want to hurt you, you know that."

"Coulda fooled me." Rainbow Dash rubbed at her side and wondered what kind of bruises she'd have the next day. If she lasted that long.

"Y'all didn't break nothin'. Don't be such a big baby." Applejack said. With practiced ease, the cowpony looped several more lengths of rope around Rainbow Dash, entangling her further. "'sides, you've had worse."

"Well, yeah, but that's not important!" Rainbow Dash fumed, "Look, guys, you've got to listen to me. Do you really think I'd mess around with...uh, whatever it is that you think I did?"

"I was hoping you didn't, but..." Twilight Sparkle sighed, and then tilted her chin up higher, resolute. "I've got a theory. It's your sonic rainbooms, Rainbow. I think you're doing more than breaking the sound barrier- I think you're breaking the reality barrier when you go so fast. And so, whether you know it or not, you've been steadily eroding the etheric threshold that holds our plane of existence together."

"I did what now?"

"I think she's saying that bad things happen when you go too fast." Fluttershy murmured.

"But...that's not what happened! It wasn't me, it was the djinn! The djinn!"

"Oh no, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie looked down at the bound pegasus. "What did I tell you about getting all liquored up and messing with the fabric of reality?"

"Um. Nothing?"

"So it's my fault!" Pinkie Pie's eyes watered, "I'm so, so sorry, Rainbow Dash! I promise I'll visit you every day in magical exile jail and bring you cakes, but not the kind with files baked into them. Sorry!"

"Actually, Pinkie," Twilight said, "in a case like this one, Rainbow Dash would need a lot more than a file to break loose. Why, the thaumaturgic containment wards alone would be nearly impassible to anypony who wasn't a properly trained unicorn- and that's assuming a best case scenario, where Princess Celestia doesn't have Rainbow Dash turned to stone-"

"She can do that?" Fluttershy said, not bothering to mask the horror in her voice.

"If nothing else, Rainbow Dash, I'll make sure you're a beautiful statue." Rarity said.

"I don't think that's very reassurin'." Applejack said as she pulled the knot binding Rainbow Dash tighter.

"I'm being optimistic." Rarity huffed. "Or...trying to, at least. Silver linings, and all that."

"Hey now!" Rainbow Dash squeaked, "Can we at least talk about statue-ifying me as a last resort?"

"Rainbow Dash's right." Twilight said. "Magical exile jail is far more probable, given the circumstances."

"Oh, uh, that's good?" Rainbow Dash managed. "So, um. Can we...like...talk this over? Do processing, and all that?"

"What n' tarnation are you talkin' 'bout?"

"She means to say 'Due Process,'" Twilight corrected. "Which...I'm not exactly sure how to deal with, in this case. Usually, whenever Princess Celestia gives me a task, it's more...action oriented. The aftermath kind of resolves itself, you know? Unless Princess Celestia wanted me to focus more on the aftermath, because she knew Rainbow Dash would give up without a fight."

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said, "I'm not giving up! I'm just letting you guys tie me up so you'll listen to me!"

"We're listenin'." Applejack said.

"You better!" Rainbow Dash gave an indignant tug at her bonds. "Seriously! None of this is my fault! I just found this weird teapot thing and all of a sudden this pony with no legs came out of nowhere and started talking about giving me wishes, and then things totally got weird from there, and then I wished you guys would show up, and now...uh, you're here. So I guess that worked. Sort of?"

"Hold on," Twilight said, "Rainbow, did you say 'wishes?'"

"Yeah. Do I need to start talking louder?"

"Ooooooh. That makes more sense. Djinn with a D."

"That's what I was trying to tell you!" Rainbow Dash squeaked in desperate exasperation. "Except for the spelling part. Weird wishy-lady didn't tell me how it's spelled."

"That...makes a surprising amount of sense, actually." Twilight rubbed at her chin. "Especially since, now that you mention it, I don't recall the train ride to Canterlot...does anypony?"

"I do." Rarity said. "The train was running slow, so I tried to teach Rainbow Dash how to play baccarat-"

"But that was from before, when it was just you and Rainbow Dash." Twilight said. "And even then, I bet you don't remember talking with any of us before we kicked in Rainbow Dash's door. Am I right?"

"You are." Rarity said. "I hate to say it, but it's a bit...disconcerting. What's going on?"

"I'm not sure." Twilight frowned. "But I'm beginning to think that there's something else going on here. Something bigger than just Rainbow Dash."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "Now can you guys untie me now?"

"Allow me, miss."

A burst of orange smoke blinded Rainbow Dash- but as soon as she felt the ropes slip free, she beat her wings as hard as she could, dispersing the smoke as soon as it came. When it cleared, however, she saw all five of her friends tied up in turn. Various cries of anger and dismay arose from the bound group, but the cloth gags stuffed into their mouths shut muffled the specifics.

"Okay, for the record, that wasn't my fault." Rainbow Dash swooped over and began to tug and pull at the knots binding Pinkie Pie.

"Not directly, no." The djinn materialized from the wisps of orange smoke at the corners of the room, only bothering with the barest outline of an equine form. "But it's well within my duties to ensure your ability to make your final wish."

"These are my best friends! They'd never hurt me!" Rainbow Dash said.

"I dare say the last few minutes have been proof to the contrary, Miss."

"But...that was you just being a jerk again, wasn't it? I wished they were here, and then you made them think the world was going to end if they didn't catch me."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that, no. But when you do make your last wish, the links holding me to this plane of existence will be severed, and I shall be free."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Yes." said the djinn.

"Nnnf!" Twilight Sparkle rolled over onto her side and wriggled closer to Rainbow Dash.

"Okay, not a good thing?" Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight nodded.

"I got it." Rainbow Dash turned to glare at the djinn. "What's the catch? There's always a catch with you, isn't there?"

"I wouldn't call it a 'catch,' miss. Rather, it's a matter of...balance. When I'm freed from the bonds of the wishing contract, it will create a vacuum- somepony will have to take my place, and thus be trapped inside the lamp until the cycle begins anew."

"That's a bad thing, right?"

"That depends, miss. Are you claustrophobic?"

Rainbow Dash pulled her wings in tighter against her sides. "Um. No?"

"You will be after the first century."

"Oh, I got it-" Rainbow Dash smiled, "I can just wish that I don't get stuck in there, right?"

"A clever idea, and one that's entirely feasible. But the magic will still have its way- I imagine it'll just make do with whoever's closest." The djinn turned her glowing, otherworldly gaze over the five tied-up ponies on the floor. "Unless you have somepony in mind?"

"Hey! I'm not going to let you magicify any of my friends, jerk!"

"Fair enough. I'll just pick somepony at random, then. Don't worry, I'll make sure it's somepony you've never met."

"Uh." Rainbow Dash bit at her lower lip. "That's...not really better, is it?"

"It's all a matter of perspective, miss. I imagine it'll come as a surprise to my replacement, to be suddenly pulled from his or her life and stuffed into a cramped, enchanted lamp for hundreds of years. But to you, miss, you'll be fine. You'll just be able to put the whole episode behind you and forget it ever happened."

"Crap." Rainbow Dash hid her face in her hooves. "There's no right answer, is there? Even if it's somepony I've never met, I'll still know I made them take a hit for me!"

"So you'd rather it be one of your friends, then?"

"No!" Rainbow Dash spat. "Why do you have to make this so hard? No matter what I do, you're going to twist it around so something horrible happens!"

"I do find the dramatic irony rather delicious, miss."

"Why do you gotta be so mean about it, though? I wish you weren't such a jerk!"

Silence fell over the palace chamber. Rainbow Dash had just enough time to see the shock and fear suddenly writ across her five best friends' faces.

"As you wish, miss."

A sudden fog of orange smoke rolled up, blinding Rainbow Dash. She instinctively started to spread her wings out to fan the smoke away, but she soon felt her feathers brushing up against something cold and unyielding.

"What the crap?" Rainbow Dash said. Her voice echoed through the cramped metal corridor. She craned her head around to get a better look at what was keeping her pinned, only to smack her head into a low-lying ceiling. The entire room rang like the inside of a hangover. Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves over her ears, muttering a few choice obscenities to herself (again, much like a hangover).

"Okay," she finally said, once the ringing began to die down. "No need to freak out. You can handle this. Just a super dark and weird room made of metal." Rainbow Dash bit at her lower lip, and slowly began to feel along the walls. The walls of the pipe she'd wound up in flared out towards one end- soon, Rainbow Dash had enough room to stand upright and stretch her wings- barely. She rapped on one of the walls, producing that same hollow, metallic tone. "Okay, better. Kinda. Stupid Djinn. Once I get out of here, I'm gonna-"

And then, in another burst of smoke (blue, this time) Rainbow Dash was back in her hotel room, back to facing her friends.

"That was weird." Rainbow Dash said. She pushed herself up into a comfortable hover, then looked down at her five friends. "Hey, what're you guys looking at? Have I got something on my face?" She reached up to wipe her muzzle, but stopped. As soon as she'd brought her hoof up to eye-level, she could see her friends right through it.

"Okay, now I'm getting a little freaked out." Rainbow Dash's voice broke. She looked downward. "Guys? Has anyone seen, um...the rest of me?"

"She's a ghost!" Pinkie Pie cried. "Rainbow Dash, I'm so sorry we couldn't save you! Please don't haunt us! Unless, like, you're one of those good ghosts who shows us the true meaning of Hearth's Warming Eve or maybe tells us about how you got murdered by your brother 'cause he wanted to be king and had a bunch of ear poison laying around! But now that I think about it that ghost wasn't very nice because he kinda sorta set things in motion so everyone killed each other at the end of the play- maybe he was just lonely and wanted some company? OH!" Pinkie Pie wheeled around on her more substantial friends, "Quick, everypony! If Rainbow Dash starts telling you to kill somepony to avenge her, don't do it!"

"I'm not telling you to avenge me, Pinkie."

"Whew!" said Pinkie Pie.

"Everypony, calm down." Twilight Sparkle said, firmly. "Pinkie, Rainbow Dash isn't a ghost. She's...well, as far as I can figure, she's a djinn. She's not dead- it's just that she's attuned to a slightly different phase-plane of reality than we are, so our visual perspective is naturally distorted."

"Say what?" Rainbow Dash said.

"It's like we're looking at you through a dirty window, Rainbow." Twilight said.

"Weird." Rainbow Dash looked down at her semi-transparent self. "So. Uh. If I'm a djinn...what happens next?"

"I was waiting for you to say that, miss."

The djinn- the former-djinn, at least -stood nearby, cradling the brass lamp with her foreleg. Without the ambient aura of potent magic around her, she looked like any other pony (if a rather tired looking one). "Now that I have your attention, I wish I had a cupcake."

Rainbow Dash felt her entire body quiver. Before she realized it, the pegasus was in motion- streaking out the window. She banked downwards, gravitating towards the nearest corner-bakery. She burst through the door, swooped down on the display case, and barely had enough time to pick one out before she reversed her course and headed back the way she came.

Rainbow Dash skidded to a halt in front of the djinn-pony, and thrust the cupcake outward.

"Ha! Joke's on you, this one's coconut! Nobody likes coconut cupcakes! How's it feel to have your wish turned around on you, jerk?"

"I haven't eaten anything in hundreds of years." The djinn set the lamp down, and took the cupcake. She savored the smell, and then slowly, sensuously, sunk her teeth into it. She shivered faintly, then closed her eyes, ignoring the ponies all around her.

"Uh." Applejack said. "Should we be watchin' this? It's gettin' weird."

"I know!" Pinkie Pie said. "Who doesn't like coconut cupcakes?"

"Ah, sorry." The former djinn said. "It's the little pleasures, you know. I would've wished for a feast, but I don't think I could've handled it. Not to mention the fact it would've given Miss Dash entirely too many opportunities to exact ironic retribution on me- and I would've deserved it, too."

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash said.

"She's afraid you're going to try to get even." Twilight Sparkle said.

"I won't try. I will. Once I figure out what her least favorite kind of cupcake is."

"Um, Rainbow?" Fluttershy peeked out from behind Rarity. "Don't you think it's a better idea to just be the better pony and just be nice to her?"

"No!" Rainbow Dash crossed her insubstantial front legs across her insubstantial chest. "You weren't even there, Fluttershy. Stupid jerkface made me the laughingstock of Canterlot, turned all of you against me, and then she stuffed me in her stupid teapot-"

"Lamp." Twilight said.

"-and turned me into a ghost!"

"Djinn." Twilight said.

"You guys are making me thirsty." Pinkie Pie murmured.

"You forgot your last wish, miss."

"No I didn't!" Rainbow Dash said, "that's the one that made me all see through!"

"True. But you wished for me to be less of a jerk, as you said."

"Oh yeah, I did, didn't I? Shoot, I should've wished for something cool, at least." Rainbow Dash muttered. "So you made me waste a wish, too. Crap."

"I...don't think you wasted it, miss. As...you've gotten me to think. I don't know if it's just my own magic turned against me, but...well, with the tables turned, I...remember things. It was a....long time ago when I found that lamp. I don't even remember what I wished for before I was bound to it. But...I saw you fly, miss. And now, I can't stand the thought of seeing you cooped up inside that damned thing. So I'm going to make my three wishes, and then I'm going back inside. I'm used to it, after all."

"So, lemme get this straight." Rainbow Dash said, "All of a sudden, you feel bad about all that stuff you did to me, so you're just going to make three quick wishes so we switch back again?"

"That's my plan, yes."

"Wow. That's...kinda deep, right there." Rainbow Dash fidgeted, and scratched at the back of her neck. "I'm...not sure what to think of that."

"What you think is immaterial, miss. You, in fact, are immaterial. You're the djinn, after all. Now...I wish I had something to drink."

"Oh come on!" Rainbow Dash materialized next to the former-djinn in a split second, either through her own innate speed or her new otherworldly powers. She poured a large measure of cranberry juice, then a larger measure of vodka into a glass on a nearby table, then nodded. "You could've gotten that yourself!"

"You're correct, miss, but I wanted to keep things quick and simple." The djinn slipped a straw into the cocktail and took a sip- only to immediately go into a shuddering, coughing fit. "Ah. Still punishing me, I see. Well done."

"Uh. I was trying to be nice, right there. Y'know, if you're gonna get stuffed into a teapot for the next hundred years, at least you can get a good buzz going, or something."

"Maybe you should've gotten her a gin and tonic?" Pinkie Pie said, already pulling out a setzer bottle from...somewhere.

"No no, that's alright." The djinn said, pushing her drink aside. "It...wasn't entirely bad, all things considered. I just wanted to enjoy some of the more...physical indulgences while I still had a tangible form."

"Hold up." Applejack said. "Does that mean you're gonna wish Rainbow Dash ta-"

"Of course not, silly!" Pinkie Pie said, "She's just gonna wish for Rainbow to find somepony to-"

"Hey now!" Rainbow Dash said, "All of you stop talking about whatever it is I think you're talking about because this is weird enough as is! And you-" Rainbow Dash wheeled around on the djinn, "Stop wishing for stuff!"

"I know it hasn't been long, but the traditional setup is that the pony who rubbed the lamp is the one who gives the orders."

"No, that's not it!" Rainbow Dash said, "Or, uh, it is it, or...just stop talking, okay? Because, here's the thing- I wished for you not to be a jerk, and now you're not a jerk! I mean, you're already getting ready to get stuffed back into that stupid teapot-"

"Lamp, miss."

"Whatever it is, it sucks! So now that you're nice and stuff, we need to figure out how to keep you a normal pony. Make sure that nopony gets stuck inside it ever again!"

"That's...going to be difficult, Rainbow," said Twilight Sparkle, "but, with enough time and planning, I might be able to rig up some sort of mana siphon, which would theoretically allow us to draw off enough ambient energy to change its magical balance so it's no longer self perpetuating."

Rainbow Dash scratched at her head. "Say what?"

"Oh, sorry." Twilight smiled. "Think of it like...a teapot."

"You mean a lamp?" said Rainbow Dash.

"No, I mean a teapot, this time. And the magic is the tea inside. So we'd be pouring out all the tea so you can clean it out. It's not that simple, of course, but do you get the idea?"

"It's fitting, miss," The djinn said, "but, to build on your analogy, this still presents us with some challenges. The first being a matter of where the tea goes. Proverbially speaking, there's quite a lot of tea to deal with, and it's quite hot, and we wouldn't want to make a mess of things. Complicating things further is the fact that we can't pour it all out- there has to be just enough left at the bottom for one last cup, so to speak. If the amount of magic in the lamp runs out, Miss Dash's consciousness would dissipate. She'd be lost forever."

Twilight set her chin, resolute. "Which is why we'll just have to get it right the first time. Pinkie Pie, you're with me- we're going to hit up the royal archives, and start our research. Rarity, you and Applejack handle the logistics- I'll write up a shopping list of supplies we'll need. Fluttershy, you stay here and keep Rainbow Dash company, keep her spirits up." She turned to smile up at the semi-etherial pegasus. "Don't worry, we'll have all this fixed in no time!"

Resolute nods were shared, and the ponies galloped out of the room (except for Fluttershy, who stayed put and didn't say a thing).

"So...that's it?" Rainbow Dash said, after about three seconds of silence. "We just stay here and wait for Twilight to fix everything?"

"That, um, was the plan, yes." Fluttershy murmured. "I think it's a good one."

"If that's the case, Miss-" The djinn turned to Fluttershy. "Do you think you might get me something to eat? It's...been quite some time since I've been properly corporeal, and I'm beginning to fear that cupcake wasn't nearly enough."

"Oh, okay." Fluttershy murmured, and slipped off as quietly as she could manage, relieved to have an excuse to get out of the room.

"Good." The former-djinn said. "I thought they'd never leave. I didn't want them to see this."

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Little trails of etheric magic floated outwards with each agitated beat of Rainbow Dash's wings. "I don't know what you've got in mind, but it sounds totally not-cool. All you have to do is just chill here and then Twilight's gonna do some magic junk and then everything will be okay. Like it always goes."

"Your optimism is...inspiring, miss," said the djinn, "but, as I told your friend, it's going to be an extremely dangerous operation. Quite simply, I cannot allow your friends to put themselves into such danger for my sake."

"Sure you can! We love danger!" Rainbow Dash said, "seriously, you should see some of the crazy crap we do. It's pretty awesome."

"But, there's a much easier alternative. All I have to do is make my final wish, and then we'll switch places, and it'll be the end of that. I trust you'll find someplace safe to keep the lamp so I won't hurt anypony else?"

"Uh, sure! I mean, wait, no! You can't just give up! Quitting is for losers!"

"I don't understand you, miss."

"Do I need to talk louder? I CAN TALK LOUDER."

"No, not that." The djinn sat back on her haunches, then looked down at her hindquarters, surprised at the simple gesture. "It's just...I corrupted your lifelong dreams, turned your friends against you...and now you're trying to help me?"

"Well, yeah." Rainbow Dash scratched at the back of her neck. "I mean, sure, you did some pretty bad stuff...but now it's kind of like you feel bad about it, and so we're going to help you. Being the better ponies, or something."

"If only it were so easy." Said the djinn. "It's better this way. I wish it didn't have to be like this, but-"

"OH NO YOU SAID IT!" Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves over her ears. "YOU SAID THE 'W' WORD! BUT I TOTALLY DIDN'T HEAR IT AND NOW NOTHING WILL HAPPEN LALALALALALALA."

"I...did, didn't I?" The djinn said, looking around, "after all these years, I should have learned better. Damn." She pulled in a deep breath, and stood up again. "Well, back into the lamp with me."

"NOT LISTENING LALALALALALA."

For a long moment, nothing happened.

"Um." Fluttershy poked her head from around the doorway to the kitchen. "I made you a salad? You like salads, right? It's got fresh carrots and apples and asparagus and everything. I bet you'll love it."

"STILL NOT LISTENING LALALALALALA!"

"Oh, um. Okay." Fluttershy shrank back. "I'll make some sandwiches instead."

"Er, wait!" Rainbow Dash swooped towards the kitchen. "Fluttershy! That's not what I meant!"

"Okay!" The pink-haired pegasus squeaked, shrinking down lower. "No sandwiches, then."

"Fluttershy, stop it! I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at her! Stupid djinn made her last wish and now she's ruined everything before Twilight could fix it!"

"Oh no!" Fluttershy galloped out of the kitchen, looking from pony to pony with wide, panicked eyes. "Is that true?"

"Technically, yes," said the djinn. She poked herself in the chest. "I was honestly expecting to be transported back into the lamp by now. Or maybe Miss Dash has to perform some feat of magic to do it."

"Hah! Joke's on you! I'm not doing any magic to you, jerk!" Rainbow Dash landed on the ground and glared at the djinn. "Looks like you still have a third wish to not-make."

"Um. Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy squeaked. "You're not clear."

"Sorry Fluttershy," said the blue pegasus, "I didn't mean to get all eggheady. It's just that, like, so long as I don't do whatever she says, everything's going to be okay. I think. Does that make sense?"

"Um. I guess so? But...that's not what I meant. It's just that, uh, you're not all glowy and see-through now."

"I'm not?"

"Your friend's right, miss. You appear entirely corpreal." The djinn poked Rainbow Dash in the shoulder.

"Hey! Hooves off the merchandise!"

"This...is puzzling." The djinn said. "You should still be bound to the magic of the lamp. Quick, try to do something magical?"

Rainbow Dash blinked, suddenly put on the spot. "Um." She looked to her left, then to her right, and then scratched one hoof with the other. "Like what?"

"Um. Well. Twilight does magic all the time." Fluttershy said. "Maybe you could do, like, one teensy tiny little spell?"

"Uh, sure. Right. Spells. I got it." Rainbow Dash sighted in on a nearby table and stared at it, furrowing her brow in concentration as she summoned up whatever arcane powers the lamp had cursed her with.

Nothing happened.

"What're you trying to do?" Fluttershy asked.

"Uh. Something? Like, maybe I'll lift it up, or maybe I'll light it on fire, or maybe I'll turn it into a frog, or...something. Aaaaany minute now." Rainbow Dash stared harder at the end-table.

"That's enough of that," the djinn said, "if anything were going to happen, it would've happened by now."

"I don't get it." Rainbow Dash said. "If I'm back to being a normal pony, that means you should be back in your teapot-lamp-thingie, right?"

"That is the way it works after a third wish, yes."

"After a- oh! That's it!" Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide as the realization struck her. "You wished it didn't have to be like this, or whatever! So now it doesn't have to work where somepony gets turned into a genie or whatever. Nice!"

The djinn frowned. "How is that possible?"

"Don't know, don't care." Rainbow Dash said. "I'll let Twilight figure out all the magicky stuff. Right now, the important part is, I'm back to being the raddest pegasus in all of Equestria. And I'm not gonna do anything anypony tells me to do!"

"What if they ask nicely?" Fluttershy said.

"Unless they ask nicely, sure." said Rainbow Dash.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that antique shops aren't as boring as they look, because sometimes they have really old magical stuff in the back.

Also, I learned that taking the easy way to get what you want is never a good idea, especially when you're using really old magical stuff to do it. Seriously,

But sometimes, if you set a good example, you can inspire other ponies to do good stuff, and not think about themselves, and then everything works out in the end.

Sincerely,

-Rainbow Dash

P.S: Twilight told me to tell you that you might want to talk to this djinn girl sometime, 'cause she's all old and stuff.