Shining Armor stifled a yawn as something brushed up against his nose, instead he looked around to find the source of the noise that was bugging him. He sat up, blinked, and then saw Camo laughing as he played his ukelele. Following the unicorn's line of vision, he saw the changeling moving around, slightly sporadically.

"Oh, good, you can move again." Shining said making Camo stop and the changeling fall back down. "Very funny, now get up. Hey," he looked around with a confused expression. "Where's Big Macintosh?"

"You were spooning him just a second ago," Camo said. "Don't worry, I won't tell your sister. But, as for Spike..." He smiled as a snicker was heard.

Spike came out from behind the stallion, smiling even with his arm still in a cast he was trying to hold his gut. Shining looked back and saw the apple farmer laying on his back and stretching his legs.

"We need to get going, now." Shining said. "Are you getting up?" He asked nudging the changeling. "Camo, he was moving perfectly fine, and you paralyzed him again. Great."

"Actually, he was still paralyzed." Camo said. "I just discovered a few hours ago that I can make him move by playing certain notes. So," he took out his map and put away the instrument. "We're going to need to go into Ghastly Gorge, and, in doing so, there is also a short cut! It could cut our trip in half to only three days on hoof."

"Then what are we waiting for? We need to get moving!" He said. "I'm still carrying the changeling, aren't I?"

"Oh yeah." Camo said with a smirk. "You could have gotten Spike, but you missed your chance. Besides, I'm carrying my own passenger. Oh, morning Mac, how'd you sleep?"

"Fine aside from the rock in ma'h back." The farm pony said yawning. "Shining, next time, ah want ya to sleep away from me." He said making the guard captain snort in embarrassment. "Ah heard Camo as ah was gettin' up."

"Just get Spike so we can get going." Shining said huffing.

As Spike got onto Big Mac's back, Shining slung the changeling over his. They both stood in attention while Camo checked a compass he had pulled out from a separate pocket in his bag. Turning once towards Shining, he squinted at it before doing a one-eighty. Nodding, he tucked it back in and began walking.

Sharing an uneasy glance with Macintosh, the two stallion's followed.

The green hills were behind them now, in front of them stood tanned dirt, rocks that jutted out from the ground, ferns, and even further up, Ghastly Gorge. They walked in silence, the only noise coming from the rocks crunching underhoof.

As the gorge was coming up, splits in the earth began to form. The two stallions were hopping over them while Camo just stepped over them, inches away from tripping. At one point, a large hole had opened up, a steep slop led down into darkness, and the two stallions watched in shock as Camo just walked down without a thought, his own eyes still on the map.

"Should... Should we go after him?" Spike asked as they stood at the edge.

"I'm sure he knew he went int here. He can get back up." Shining said. "Although, he does have the map."

"Let's just wait a second." Big Mac said.

"Hey! Could I get some help?" Camo said from within the hole. "I almost got crushed by the rubble from the wall collapsing!"

"Or were gonna die..." He said before going in.

"What do you think?" Shining asked the immobile changeling. "Because I trust you with my life, more than I trust him."

Hesitantly, he went down into the hole, a trail of dust following him. Seeing nothing, he lit his horn and casted a blue light around. Cracks lined the walls and ceiling, the floor was worn from time and covered in a layer of sand-like dirt, roots stuck out from the ceiling and reached down into the floor in some places. He squinted around and saw another light ahead, a dingy red shining past roots.

"Camo! Camo, is that you?" He called out.

"Yeah, it's me." Camo said as Shining got closer. "Macintosh and Spike are here too. And you might also want to start galloping! The roof is going to cave in!"

Shining stopped, letting his brain process what Camo had just said. He heard a loud crack, and then another, looking up he saw the ceiling above him begin to split with a webwork of cracks. Galloping from that, it collapsed and he was soon running from rubble as the cave caved in. Making a last ditch effort, he jumped and him, and the changeling, went rolling before stopping in front of Camo.

"That was awesome!" Camo laughed. "Let's do it again!"

"No... Let's not..." Shining said getting up. "I doubt me coming in here caused that, so, what did you do Camo?"

"I made a wall collapse, and in turn caused the ceiling to collapse. Oh well, all's end that ends well." He shrugged. "So, if I'm right, this should lead to the entrance of the shortcut... I can't tell because something has now moved in front of the current."

"Current? What current? It's all rock and dirt." Spike said. "What kind of current would there be?"

"You know, for a librarians assistant, you're not that bright. Haven't you ever heard about the savage land tunnelers living in the gorge's cliffs?"

"Y-Yeah. Those big eels. What about them?" He asked looking past Camo and at the wall.

"This, is what I mean." He said before firing a electric bolt at the wall.

As the electricity disappeared, the chamber shook, the walls threatening to give out. They all watched, one with a burning stare, the others in shock, as it began to move past them. It lasted for a full minute before it became a hole of darkness in contrast to the other walls where the unicorns light shone on.

"Was that a land tunneler?" Spike asked staring at the hole. "And did you just shock it?"

"How else would I have gotten it to move?" Camo said simply. "Great, there's too much iron floating here. One second." He said before sticking his head in there.

They stared at him as his body jerked to the right for a second, he put all three hooves against the walls of the opening. Using his prosthetic, he dug into the ground below him and pulled himself out. His head was soaked, the fur around the base of his neck was dripping water. Rubbing his eyes, he lit his horn again before looking at Shining Armor.

"Alright, the current is flowing in the right direction. No pun intended." He said. "I hope you all can hold your breath, because were going for a swim."

"How is there water in there?" Big Mac asked. "And how's it not floodin' in here?"

"The iron in the water," Camo said putting the map in his bag. "Is so concentrated, that the rocks here, are also magnetic might I add, that when an opening forms, the iron can block the flow of water. That's how the tunnelers can shoot out from cliffs and not fall out. They're constantly going around, looking for food."

"And ya want us to go in there?" Big Mac said.

"Well, it's either this, or we can suffocate in here. Your choice." Camo said stepping towards the water. "And by the way, two things before I leave... No, three. One, if the changeling can't hold his breath, just put a shield over his head. Two, all the currents, or most of them, flow to a large, unmapped reservoir in which, the eels have no interest in. Three, if you can, keep your fore-legs crossed at all times."

He stood up on his hind leg and prosthetic, crossed his fore-legs, winked and fell back with a splash of white foam. The others just stared at where he had dived in, and they did so until a flicker of light caught their attention. Shining looked down at the changeling and saw it's horn begin to glow.

"Need... Energy... To... Move..." It sad slowly, it's jaw cracking from the effort.

"Energy? Like magic?" Spike said getting in front of it.

"Yes..."

"Shining, could you give him a charge?" Spike asked making the guard captain roll his eyes.

"Fine, but if Camo starts playing that Ukelele again and paralyzes the changeling again, I'm smashing it over his head. Lift his head, I'm going to make a direct connection."

Spike lifted up the changelings head; getting away, Shining armor leaned down and put the tip of his horn between the changelings eyes. Channeling his own magic, he pumped the changeling full of energy. He stopped when he felt a hoof on his shoulder, looking he saw the changeling get up.

"I... I need no shield." The changeling said. "I can filter the water through the holes in my legs. Come, we must hurry if we are to catch up to the nut job." He smiled.

"Well, get going." Shining ordered.

The changeling nodded once before jumping into the water. Shining sighed before taking a deep breath and plunging in himself. Big Mac shared an uneasy glance with Spike before they both took a deep breath, with Big Macintosh holding Spike for good measure. With a final, dread filled gulp, and a few thoughts on what to add to their wills, they plunged in themselves.

The water, surprisingly, was rather warm that what they thought. What didn't surprise them was the clarity of the water; they couldn't see anything but the rocks and dirt as it passed. The pull on them was strong enough that Spike was nearly ripped from Macintosh's fore-legs each time they hit a wall, which, he took the most of the force. At one time, they dropped through an air pocket before falling into a whirlpool and sucked down into more rapids.

As the last breath of air was beginning to run out, they were suddenly being propelled up. Looking up, they saw a bright light, feeling a disturbance in the water though, when they looked down they saw a large eel tearing through the tunnel. Spike and Big Mac then began kicking furiously as the eel made its way towards them.

They passed the barrier between the tunnel and the open water, immediately the eel shied away from the opening. The two didn't bother looking back in fear of the eel returning. They both let out smiles as they saw the surface coming up, but even those were short lived as they realized their air was being released.

They broke the surface and looked around before Spike, climbing onto Macintosh's head, pointed towards the others mere feet away on land. Big Mac quickly paddled over, getting an extra push from Shining, they were pulled out and set down on land.

"Well," Camo said. "It seems as though I have led us off track." He said pulling out the map. "I have apparently, been reading it upside down. How funny is that?" He said giving a guilty smile.

They all paused from drying themselves to stare at him; Shining's left eye twitched, Big Mac's jaw was clenched, the changeling was hissing and Spike had smoke coming out from his nostrils.

"You did what?" Shining asked. "Could you repeat that for me? I'm afraid I misheard you."

"I read the map upside-down." Camo smiled. "B-But! This is still a short cut, it's just not a reservoir. It's a waste dump apparently."

They all looked behind them and saw a large building with three pipes leading over the water; all three pipes gave the occasional spurt of clear, brown, or yellow fluid before stopping.

"Where are we?" Spike asked.

"Princess Luna's liquor factory apparently." Camo said. "She shares half with her sister. Did you know Celestia is a major light weight? But her sister can drink enough alcohol to kill a hydra and she'd be tipsy. That's why she orders her drinks strong."

"Do you honestly think we care?" Shining said. "You led us the wrong way! I should drown you right here!"

"Hey, hey!" Camo said. "Just let me get out my pickaxe and get to a higher vantage point, that way I can see exactly which end of the factory we're at so we can find another shortcut."

"Give me that pickaxe and I'll give you a 'shortcut' right across the belly." Shining said shaking a hoof at the other unicorn.

"Even if I was reading the map upside-down, this is still a short cut. And no, you hitting me with my pick axe does not count as a 'short cut' no matter how lightly you use it on me." Camo retorted. "Hey... Does anypony else feel that?"

"No, Camo," Shining said. "But tell me if you feel this."

As he was pulling his hoof back, Camo's ear splayed back as he looked down. As Shining swung forward, a savage land tunneler shot up, swallowing Camo before falling into the water. Shining, with his hoof just barely brushing the eel's hide, stood in open shock. the only thing left was Camo's prosthetic leg which spun on the rubber hoof before falling over.

Big Mac, the changeling, and Spike watched as the eel began rising from the water and looking towards them. As it was opening its mouth, a sudden white light burst from the back of it its throat. It stopped before ice began enveloping it; when it hit the land again, the bottom half of its body floated up towards the surface.

As they all stared at it, labored breathing could be heard, and slowly, appearing between it's teeth, was Camo with his snow globe. He spit out a mouth full of water before laying against the teeth and sticking the snow globe in his bag.

"I never said they wouldn't come up from under us." He said. "Macintosh, could you give me a hoof here?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac said going over.

Big Mac turned around and raised up onto his fore-hooves as he bucked. The frozen teeth shattered and Camo rolled out as the rest of the body went into the water.

"I'm good, I'm good..." He said. "Just let me get my leg and we can continue. Oh, thanks." He said as Spike gave him the appendage. "It's a bit damp though..."

"Here, let me get that." Spike said before grabbing the leg.

Camo's eyes widened, and before he could say anything, Spike blew a small puff of fire on it. The leg went up in flames and Spike immediately ran to the water and plunged it in. The effect was instantaneous; the surface of the water from their end to the other caught fire, and, unfortunately the factory also let out another jet of alcohol into the water and the flames traveled upwards.

They waited for what felt like hours, but only a minute passed by until Spike spoke up.

"Well, at least there wasn't an-"

The factory went up in a sudden fireball, bricks and metal flew towards the sky, glass that had been blown out. The middle sections of the walls exploded out and feel onto the ground or into water, the pipes shot out flames for a few seconds before falling into the watery blaze. As the roof collapsed, a tall pillar of smoke rose into the sky.

As they all stood there in shock, bottles of liquor began falling from the sky. They all just stared at the destruction, even the changeling was shocked by the turn of events. Spike finally lifted the leg out from the water and gave it back to Camo who, immediately reattached it.

"I'm dead..." Spike said. "I just blew up the royal liquor factory. I'm going to be banished, no... Exiled to the moon for this!" He said falling to his knee's.

"It's like a dream come true!" Camo said hopping around gleefully. "Booze! Booze everywhere! And it's just falling from the sky, like some holy gift from the heavens above! Sweet golden, clear, and amber gifts!" He laughed jumping up and catching a bottle in his mouth.

"Hey! That's royal property!" Shining said going up to the unicorn.

"Well, considering it's raining from the sky, how long do you suppose before others start getting bottles?" He remarked uncorking the bottle. "Besides, you might just need it when you hear how I'm going to get us back on track within minutes. I'd suggest, for a stallion of little imagination, take this." he said grabbing another bottle and throwing it too Shining.

"For once, I think you're going to be right about this. Let's here the plan." He groaned, shutting his eyes for the inevitable pain of his brain cells committing suicide one by one.

"We're going to sail at least halfway there on an iceberg!" Camo smiled before taking a swig. "That's good rum."

"Would ya mind lettin' a sane pony get a swig?" Big Mac asked as the guard captain downed the bottle. "Ah'll find ma'h own bottle ah guess."

"Alright, I know it sounds a bit silly, but trust me! I know what I'm doing!"

"And," Shining paused to get another bottle. "How are you planning om sailing across land, much less on a giant chunk of ice?" He asked before staring at the amber liquid. "Cadence is going to kill me when she finds out about this..." he mumble. "I'd better get another bottle."

"Well, how do you think the changelings managed to travel across Equestria without being noticed?" Camo remarked. "There's a series of underground networks leading from point A, which since I was reading the map correctly, is at the edge of a desert, and Ghastly Gorge is point B. What I'm planning on doing, is freezing a chunk of the burned-out alcoholic water and making the natural wall were standing on, collapse and the initial tidal wave will carry us through the tunnels."

"Can I just go back?" Spike asked. "I'd rather be killed by the princesses than you. You're insane!"

"And don't you forget it." Camo said. "Now, huddle together and wait for me to break the wall. Just let me get my snow globe and we'll be on our way."

As he was getting his snow globe out again, The two stallions, changeling and dragon hatchling all huddled together at the edge of the water. They simultaneously gulped as he brought out the cursed object and began walking towards them. They all crossed their hearts as he leaned forward and pointed the object at the water.

Camo but the bottom in his hooves and just let the glass touch the water; in a moment of sudden energy, he began shaking it as fast as he could. As he did it, the inside began glowing a faint white, a shrieking began emanating from it. With a flash, the water began freezing rapidly. The others stared in fear and wonder as the water froze until it was as large as a royal chariot, with the guards added.

"Alright, now, just let me get my dynamite and we can get going." Camo said putting the glob back in his saddle bag.

"What!?" The group said backing away from the stallion as he lit his horn.

"Don't worry," he said opening a small portal. "I've only messed up once. And don't worry, nopony was injured. It was a deserted island after all. Now, if you will excuse me." He said before emptying the contents of his saddle bag.

They watched him empty the contents, place the pickaxe head, the rope, and the snow globe in the rip. He reached back in and pulled out a large fuse, duct tape, and a roll of dynamite. Closing the small portal, he took the fuse and put it into a stick's hole, and taking the duct tape, he wrapped it around the roll and bit it off when he had gotten a good rope of it.

"Alright, everypony on the ice, we'll be taking off shortly." He said going to the hole the eel had made. "Good, I can see the water trickling in; Spike, light the fuse when I say so, got it?"

"What? Why me?" Spike said as he sat atop Big Mac's back.

"You already blew up the factory, could one more explosion hurt?" He said throwing the roll of explosives in.

"It might kill us." Spike said pointing at the duct tape rope.

"You should have known that when you decided to let me tag along." Camo said quickly running the fuse to the ice and getting on. "Shining, before he lights this, could you magnetize our hooves and feet, in Spike's case, so we don't fall off the ice?"

"Is that even possible?" He said looking at the other stallion.

"Yes, for this case it is, because of the iron in the water. That's why we haven't been swept away by the wall collapsing, the magnetic pull of the rocks is keeping us here. But, if a sudden force disrupted that, it could free the water and send us on our merry, and hopefully sometime in the evening for myself, drunken way. Now, go on."

Shining, nodding, lit his horn and with a quick flash of blue, the group felt a sudden heaviness in their legs. Camo then put the fuse up to Spike, who, giving a sigh, blew a small puff of fire and lit it. Camo dropped the fuse and they all watched as the small flame traveled off the ice, across the ground, and finally into the hole.

After a minute, nothing happened. Spike, deciding to speak, went against that as the ground shook and flames erupted from the hole.

The ground in front of them gave way as the rock and soil fell away and the ice broke began moving. They fell down as the water rushed by them; Big Mac, Spike, Shining and the changeling all began yelling as they saw the dead drop in front of them.

"Don't worry!" Camo yelled as they fell. "The eels should be getting here any second, and they'll open up more holes for the water to pass through! You see, the disruption is sure to attract dozens! Possibly hundreds!"

As they neared the bottom, the right wall below them caved in and an eel came out. The iceberg they were on, hit it on the head as it passed to the next wall. As they slid off, the water caught up and hit the bottom. Looking back, they all saw more eels as a large wave began forming and quickly, hurtling towards them.

The wave hit them and they were launched forward and upwards as the water surrounded them for a brief moment. As they were pushed along, the eels were in an outrage, shrieking and roaring could be heard or mistaken for the wave or wind rushing by.

As Big Mac shut his eyes, trying to not get any of the mist in, a loud draining sound was heard, expecting it to be Camo, he spared a glance at the stallion and saw him with a frown, and staring straight ahead. Big Mac, looking forward let this hoof go to Shining Armor's chin and turn the guard captain's head forward. What they were both looking at, terrified all of them.

A small hole in the wall, just big enough for the ice to fit through, but not them with it, opened up directly in front of them. With no other entrances, Camo sighed before giving Shining a salute.

Standing, Camo reached into his bag and pulled out the glue. twisting the orange cap, he pointed it towards the opening and bit his bottom lip.

"I hope this works." He said before squeezing the bottle.

The glue, instead of splattering against the ice, flew forward and hit the top of the opening. The glue on the rock bubbled visibly from where they all were at, and then just simply fell away revealing the caverns that were behind the rock.

"We're going to live! Were safe! Or as safe as we could be at the moment..." Spike muttered.

As they neared the entrance, part of the ceiling fell down and an eel's head hung down, its massive jaws wide open.

"We're going to die!" Spike yelled. "I haven't even kissed a mare yet! I'm to young to die!"

"Hey! What am I? Chapped liver?" Camo said pointing the glue at the eel. "Open wide, you slimy son of-"

"Just spray the eel already!" Shining yelled.

Camo fumbled with the glue and almost dropped it, pointing it back at the eel, he squeezed the tube and another streak of glue shot out. It hit the eel in the back of the throat, it gave a shriek before the rest of it fell into the torrent of water as a large hole let the current of the water hook it and drag it away.

Finally entering the cavern, they were immersed in darkness, the only sounds that could be heard was of the raging water, or the other eels. Letting out a collective breath, the changeling lit his own horn and bathed them in a green light.

"Finally, we-" Camo was cut off as he was hit with a stalactite. "Ow! My-" he was cut off again as another hit him in the nose. "Get down!" He yelled dodging another. "Shining! Put up a shield!"

Shining Armor lit his horn, and suddenly they found themselves with a pink shield over their heads. Smiling, Camo peeked to the side and saw the eels still chasing them. Rolling his eyes, he reached in his saddle bag and pulled out a single stick of dynamite and a short fuse.

"Spike," Camo said. "Did you know, when a land tunneler smells blood, even a drop, it and any surrounding ones will go into a feeding frenzy> They'll attack and kill anything near them, even other eels. So, Spike, could you light this?" Camo asked tilting the fuse towards Spike.

"But the fuse is too short. It'll blow us up!" He said.

"Trust me, Spike, we are not dying today." Camo said shaking the fuse in front of the dragon hatchling. "I promise you."

Spike, looking into the stallion's eyes, sighed and lit the end of the explosive's fuse. Camo turned back towards the eels, and, spoke directly to Shining Armor.

"Shining, when I say so, open the shield and immediately close it, understand?"

"Just throw it!" Shining said.

Camo, rolling his eyes, threw the explosive through the gap Shining had made. Looking at the swarm of eels, he saw a fireball explode from between two. They both were injured, from the skin that had been blasted away, leaving blood to flow freely. The effect was immediate, the eels stopped and turned on the injured two. As more and more eels were injured, the slaughter grew until only a few eels were seen moving on their own accord.

"Now... Now are we safe?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, we should be safe for now. "Shining, you can drop the shield, it's smooth sailing from here on out." Camo said getting on his belly. "That's freezing! I should have made hot ice instead!"

"You can make hot ice?" Spike said. "Wouldn't it melt?"

"No, because it's hot ice. Well, it will melt in a way, but not from heat." Camo said. "So, while were being pushed along, why don't I get my Ukelele and-"

It was at that moment, that Shining Armor grabbed the stallion by the fore-legs, turned him around, and set him down an inch to the left. Before he could ask why he had done that, another stalactite hit Camo in the back of the head. Camo's eyes rolled up and, sliding slightly, fell onto the ice unconscious.

"Finally, it was about time." Spike said.

"Eeyup."

"Agreed; I only wish you had done that earlier before I was paralyzed."

"I would have smashed my bottle over his head," Shining said taking the bottle of royal rum out from his chest plate. "But that would have been a waste of rum."

Author's Notes:

This is a bloody long chapter name. And Camo Travels is a total bad ass.