Dozor

The ponies were throwing everything they had at the field. Panic twisted their faces as they unleashed spell after spell. The Raisers of the Sun and the Moon were throwing powers around that would have turned me to ash, but all they did was smash impotently against the barrier mere centimeters from my face. The mare that had destroyed my Queen’s plans and had caused us so much suffering was frantically flipping through the pages of the ancient book that had guided us here. That they had stolen it was of no consequence. It had served its purpose. It had brought us here, to the big moment of triumph for the changelings. Our enemies were defeated and salvation was near. The long awaited retribution for the bitter defeat they had dealt us was finally coming.

I turned away from the display, without taunting or gloating and galloped to catch up to the human, my human, the only one who I could still talk to. I wondered how. My Sister had completely cut me off from the Hive, but not him. Like always, magic worked strangely around this alien.

My wings fluttered as I pondered the warning of the ponies, about how humans couldn’t be allowed to live here, or to be more precise, die here. It could have all been a lie, of course. Unlike the rest of the ponies their leaders could be very cunning, but I had seen it in their actions and in their words. They were afraid. The ones who had the power to strike my Mother down in our moment of strength, the ones who controlled night and day, had been afraid, as afraid as the dragon had been. They looked at the man that walked in front of me and all they could see was the death of our world. There had to be another explanation. There simply had to be, but no matter how I tried to fit one I found none. Perhaps I should ask the Hive what to do.

Nearly stumbling I stood still. For a moment it hit me how much I had lost. It actually physically hurt deep down in my stomach. Frantically I buried those thoughts as well as I could. It was a pain that was too great to acknowledge. I didn’t want to know what would happen to me if I really thought about it.

Chewing on my cheek I stalked behind Yuri through the tunnel. Tiles were slowly replacing the rocks. Faded murals started to pop up on the walls here and there with scenes etched into them that were so fantastical they had to be legends. Neither of us cared and we wandered past them without comment. The silence that hung between us was awful, too much like my time in the forest. Would I start to hear voices again? I’d almost welcome them, anything was better than living in this silence.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” My human had stopped walking. I stared at the back of his legs, suddenly wishing it was quiet again.

’I thought you didn’t want to talk anymore.‘

“I don’t get you, Dozor. I just can’t wrap my head around you.”

’Is this really the time for this?‘

He walked to the side and leaned against a mural, staring down at me. “Do you honestly think we’ll see each other again after this?”

My ears fell flat against my head. ’No.‘ It hurt to think about, like it hurt to think about being cut off. To my surprise I felt a passion flare up inside me. What was I doing acting like a beaten dog? I was a changeling and proud of it. I had made mistakes, more than I cared to admit, but I was not some weak creature that would be crushed under them. Here was my chance to do something right and I would grasp it like a true changeling would. Straightening my posture I countered his stare. ’I want to show you something, Yuri.‘

“And why would I want to see what you have to show?”

’You were the one that wanted to talk. Why are you always so difficult!‘ I stomped my hoof on the floor. Didn’t he realize how hard this was for me?

“You don’t understand me, Dozor.” He walked closer and kneeled down in front of me. “I’m giving you a chance here, because I owe you. You helped me when your sister attacked me and that is what I don’t get. You betrayed me, but also betrayed your own family for me. It makes no sense. And-“ He looked to the side, “I like you. I really thought we were friends and some stupid part of me wants to go back to that. So this is your chance, Dozor. But I want more than an apology. I want the truth and it better be something good or we are done.” There was a fierceness in his eyes that had long been hidden under his demureness. I had seen glimpses of it sometimes, but now it was finally out in full force. He really was more like a changeling now.

’There is a way to make you understand.‘

“Why do you want me to understand? What are you getting out of this?” He did not say it unkind.

I swallowed. Every instinct told me to lie against this strange creature, but then again, he wasn’t a stranger at all, was he? You’re all that I have left and I- I don’t know. Since I met you the world seems so different. Things used to be good before you showed up. I used to be good or at least I thought I was. And you took that all away from me, without even knowing it. I hated you for that.’ I traced my hoof along the ground as my face grew hot. ’But now I think you were right. Everyone that wasn’t a changeling seemed like less than dirt to me, until I saw your mind. Day in and out you were the evidence that we were wrong. You aren’t dirt, none of you are. We changelings are good at lying, but the truth is a powerful thing. I can’t bear to go back to the lying and stealing. Even if a changeling has to do that to survive.‘ I hid in my shawl. ’I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done, Yuri, but what I feel doesn’t matter much. It can never all be made right again, but I wanted to at least give you some closure. And- and if you don’t want that from me, that’s fine. I’ll accept it if you never want to see me again and hate me, I deserve that. But if you want to-‘

“Okay,” the human cut through my stammering. “Okay, you can show me.”

With the shawl I wiped something from my face. ’Thank you.’

The human held up his hand. “This isn’t me forgiving you, Dozor. I’m just giving you a chance.”

’I know. Thank you.‘ Shivers ran through me. ’Sit down.‘ The human did so and I leaned close into his face. ’Take my head in your hands, like this.‘ I placed a hoof against the sides of his helmet, the cold metal feeling like carapace. I hissed as he brushed against my torn ear, but I went on. His gloves felt weird and soft. ’And now you’ll just have to trust me.‘

My horn lit up with a soft glow against the ancient walls. This was a point of no return. It would be so much worse than hitting a Sister. If I did this, there would really never be a way back into the Hive. If any changeling ever found out, I would be more than a pariah. I would become a bogeyman we warned our nymphs about for generations to come. I looked into Yuri’s eyes, my friend’s eyes. A last thought went out to my Sisters and Brothers. A last thought for my loving Mother and my brave Father that I had never really known. ’Look through my eyes as I look through yours.‘ Carefully I pressed my horn forward until it touched his helmet. ’See me as I see you.‘

A stream of thoughts invaded me. They swirled together with mine as memories bubbled to the surface. Rats flooding a tunnel. My Sister cutting me from the Hive. A bottle full of stars. Brother reading a book. My home. Betrayal. Regret.

It was confusing, more than it had ever been before. The human had been solitary for all his life and it made his thoughts more rigid than I had anticipated, maybe brittle was a better term. They were nothing like the malleable thoughts of changelings that wrapped and bend around each other, but more like a glass fortress that was built to stand alone and that would also break under the slightest pressure.

For a moment panic spread through me. Yuri’s mind was so fragile it seemed impossible to meld together with him. Soon however I saw a last and unexpected gift from my family: the entrance that Mother had made to introduce the Human to the Hive. She had never meant it to serve this purpose, but still I thanked her with a warm thought and entered.

Focusing magic through my horn I stemmed the tide of random thoughts that streamed between us. There was something the human deserved to see. The memory floated to the front.

My prey was fast asleep on a pile of coals. Smears of sooth blackened the wooden planks I was standing on. The roar of the fire from the great steam engine nearly overpowered the rattling of the train on the old railroad, but only nearly. The air smacked of smoke and the heat was intense enough to hurt through my thick carapace. With a resounding metal clang I shut the iron door to the engine fire.

Steam Trail was holding her daughter in a tight embrace as far away from the human and me as she could be, hidden in the shadows that the fire cast. She seemed absorbed with muttering words to her oblivious foal. I scoffed and turned around, looking at the levers and various gauges that commanded the train. She would be useful for when we arrived in Canterlot. I had to build up trust with the thrall and she could help, if I carefully controlled her. After that-

A plank creaked behind me.

As I turned my head I felt something heavy and blunt crash into my skull. White light exploded behind my eyes and I stumbled for a second. Turning around I saw the vague image of a pony holding a shovel between her teeth, raising it like it was a club. “What’s the big idea, mare?” I slurred my words despite my best efforts as I fought down vomit. The pain had started sharp, but now felt like it was rolling through my head like thunder after lightning. “I hunt for a living by crashing into things, was that supposed to hurt?” I didn’t mention we protected ourselves with magic when we did so. I needed to intimidate her. Another hit of that shovel could knock me out or worse.

Sweat was dripping from the ponies’ brow as the shovel trembled in her grasp. Her foal was shaking like a leaf and all the color had drained from her face. With a clatter the shovel dropped on the floor.

“Good”, I said while keeping the relief out of my voice. “Now go back and sit in your corner.”

“N-no,” the mare said. “W-we’re getting away from you and that thing.” Before I could respond she grabbed her daughter and rushed towards the door. She opened it and cold wind and snow invaded the train. The sound of the wind rushing into the train was overwhelming and I stumbled again on my hoofs. My stomach felt like it was trying to force its way out of my throat and I could barely stand. The human merely stirred in his sleep, he must have been pushed to the point of exhaustion before.

I tried to walk to her, but it felt as if the ground shifted in four directions under me. “You’ll die out there, you fool. Are you that blind?” The mother stood her ground.

“You’re going to kill us or worse. You won’t hurt my daughter!” She took another step towards the open door. The wind blew her mane violently around as she stared me down. “The snow will break our fall.” She said it like she believed it or maybe she just wanted to convince her foal.

“If you don’t speak to anyone about us I’ll let you go when we are in Canterlot. That was the deal.”

The mother let out a bitter laugh. “Changelings are all liars. You won’t get us.” She took another step with her daughter in a tight embrace and jumped. She was gone in an instant.

I shook away the pain and confusion and ran to the door. The icy wind smashed into my head as I looked behind us, but I could see nothing but snow and trees. “Idiot! Damned idiot!” Anger spread through me like fire, burning away the last of my disorientation. I slammed the door shut and walked back towards the control panel, cursing to myself all the way. I would have let them go. I really would have. There was no benefit to me hurting them, why couldn’t she have seen that?

I sighed. It was my fault, of course. I had pressed her too hard. I had made her hate me instead of merely fear me. I had messed everything up. I stomped the floor with a curse.

My prey was still sleeping, not having noticed a thing. How was I going to explain this? He couldn’t know the truth. A mere pony had overpowered me and the whole situation had spun out of my control in seconds, like I was a bumbling amateur. If he knew, he would think I was weak and useless. I would not be pitied!

Even if he would hate me for this, at least he would not think I was incompetent. I was a changeling. No one would look at me with pity!

I walked towards the coals again, drawing trails in the dirt with my tail as I moved the black rocks towards the oven. I had to lie, think of something, but that would all work out fine. Steam Trails had been right. I was a very good liar.

I powered my horn down and carefully removed it from Yuri’s helmet. Opening my eyes, for a moment I saw myself through his eyes. I looked terrible with scratches over my side and a torn ear, just a small thing that was hiding in a worn out shawl. There was nothing proud or strong in what I saw.

Blinking again I regained my own sight and looked at Yuri.

“You didn’t throw them out.”

’I might as well have, with how I treated them. She would have never jumped if it hadn’t been for me, but it wasn’t my intent.’ It was a strange thing to look back on what you’d done and realize how wrong it was. It was like I had watched a stranger, but I knew that it had been all me. That made it so much worse. ’When you asked me in that boneyard if it made me feel anything, it didn’t at first. I only felt angry at her and ashamed that I had let her slip by. Looking back on it now though, with what I know now.‘ I felt my throat tighten. ’Do you know that it wasn’t even the worst thing I have ever done to someone else? It doesn’t even register on the list of things I’ve done. If you knew you’d-‘ I took a moment to breathe. ’It seems wrong to feel like this now. I did so many terrible things it seems like I don’t deserve to regret it. I have to set it right though. I don’t know if I can, but I have to. That is why I- I did what I did to my Sister. I can’t be like that anymore.‘

Yuri had an unreadable expression on his face as he looked down on me. “Why didn’t you tell me about all this?”

I bit my cheek as I avoided his eyes. ’Changelings can’t be seen as incompetent. What damn use is a Scout that can’t scout or a changeling that can’t steal love anyway? You throw away a tool that is broken. It’s worse than death to be useless, to have a purpose that you can’t fulfill.‘ I forced out a harsh laugh. ’That must sound really stupid to you, right? Maybe it is. I had to show you that though, to clear up the lie. Changelings don’t lie to each other, even if it’s painful, and you’re the closest thing I have to one now.‘

“I-” the human faltered, “I didn’t know they cut you off from your hive. I didn’t know it worked that way.” He seemed to struggle with himself before he stood up. “So, what now?”

’Now we look out for each other.‘ I walked to him and extended my hoof. ’Because we need to stick together, right?‘ I tried my best to smile.

The human stared at me and I felt my heart sink as time went on. Of course he didn’t want me around. I had lied to him from day one. Who had ever heard of someone depending on a changeling? It was ridiculous, nothing more than a desperate fancy.

“Right”, he said as he took my hoof. “But no more lies. I haven’t forgiven you, but I understand. That doesn’t make it right, but I understand.”

My throat felt tight as we stood there. I didn’t deserve this, I really didn’t, but I would earn it. I promised that to myself right there. With a nod to him we went on.

We walked through the hall, further and further as the murals became more elaborate and less touched by time. The Wish Granter must have been preserving them somehow. It seemed like a waste of a wish to do so, but I didn’t feel like judging.

Excitement came with every step. I could almost smell the magic in the air here, like when lightning had struck. Tingles creeped along my wings as the energy in this place grew. The hall abruptly ended and a simple wooden door stood in front of us.

I put my hoof on the wood. It felt cold and ancient. No one had been here in thousands of years, but it was all still in a good condition. I pushed and it swung open smoothly, like the hinges had been fed oil yesterday. Before us stood a simple square altar that was carved out of white marble inside a small chamber. On it floated a golden sphere that was about as big as my head, just like in the book. It seemed to me it looked far too plain for what it was, outside of the materials it was made from.

I set a hoof inside. My hearth jumped in my throat as warm light started to radiate from the ceiling. A fresh breeze blew through the closed off chamber as the smell of grass filled the air. The calm sound of waves on a beach rolled through the chamber. ’That’s… unexpected.‘

“It doesn’t hurt my eyes.” Yuri said in wonder as he walked in. “The light is fine, like my eyes are used to it.” He took of his helmet to reveal his dirty blond hair. Breathing in deeply he stood silently for a while, taking it all in. “So that’s what it is like.”

’It must be an illusion of some sort.‘ I sniffed the air. Someone must have put great care in it, but why? An oasis like this in these horrible tunnels was welcome though, maybe that had been enough reason to wish for it?

Yuri wrung his hands together as he looked at the altar. Before I could protest his rashness he took a step forward and placed his hand on the Wish Granter. “It’s there. It’s real.” He spoke with such relief that I forgot to admonish him for his reckless move. The human’s head shot up as he looked around nervously. “Who said that?”

’Who said what?‘

“Oh. I see. Do you mean me?” Yuri looked at the golden orb with understanding growing on his face. He nodded while he ignored me. “Yes. I’ll tell her.” With a smile he turned towards me. “Dozor put your hoof on it.”

My wings shivered as I looked at the orb. It sounded like a trap, but the book had mentioned none of this. Then again, the human had put so much trust in me. If I really wanted to change, maybe it was time for me to take a plunge for once. Hesitantly I shuffled forward until the Wish Granter was just within reach. Slowly I extended my hoof as my whole body was ready to bolt at the first sign of foul play. After a deep breath I touched the golden surface.

’Hello, vessel.‘ The voice was calm and without any cadence. No emotion whatsoever radiated from this strange presence. It was like it wasn’t even alive.

’What is this?‘ I stared at the non-creature that the orb was in morbid fascination.

“It’s the wish granter.” Yuri smiled. “It says that its makers had to give it some way to communicate and think. Many creatures that made wishes weren’t articulate or smart enough to figure out how to make the right wishes. Though the orb says it isn’t alive, just intelligent.” He paused for a second. “I don’t really know how that works.”

’Why does it call us “vessels”?‘ I asked.

’You are vessels,‘ the strange voice answered. ’Magic flows through everything and gathers in empty vessels, like water flowing downstream. In turn vessels transform magic, give it a shape and a purpose. That is the reason vessels exist.‘

I balked at that. ’I am a Scout. That’s my purpose! I don’t exist to give others purpose, I only serve Mother.‘

’The vessel does not desire to make a wish then?‘

Sheepishly I looked down. ’I do,‘ I admitted. Even before that, I realized how hollow my words were. I was barely a Scout anymore and how could I ever serve Mother again? Still, I didn’t like it. Purpose and loyalty was not something to just lightly throw around or switch.

What was I talking about? It had all been a lie. The hate I had felt for our prey had been one. It had been my life. It had shaped me and who I was, even my very thoughts. When I looked to my past, now all I saw was shame and regret. The future was nothing but a vast emptiness. Lies had always flowed with ease, giving me safety and control. But now the truth had come along, sweeping across the webs I had weaved like a raging fire, leaving nothing in its wake, not my beliefs nor my goals. My family had been lost to me and worse yet I could no longer know who I was now. Who was the changeling under all the lies? I could not recognize her or understand her, if she was even there.

“You don’t have to be that person anymore, Dozor.” It was strange. I felt my face scrunching up as a sharp retort burned on my tongue, but all of a sudden, I realized he was right. I wasn’t a Scout anymore. And if I didn’t recognize myself, who was I to make assumptions about what I was like? What purpose was there left for someone like me? Only one sprung to my mind right now.

’I’m ready to make a wish.‘ I had already waited far too long for this. I could ponder all this later. The Wish Granter awaited me silently. ’I wish for my Hive to be restored. Heal the wounds of my Sisters and Brothers and replenish their magical and food reserves.‘ I felt a little flustered, but I wanted one more thing from that wish, something not necessary and a bit selfish, but just this once I had to indulge myself. ’Can you show it happening to me?‘

’Certainly,‘ the orb glowed once. A tear opened in front of us, like a curtain that had been cut open. Through it we could see the Hive, such as it was. My Sisters no longer were working in the tunnels and cracks littered the halls as dust gathered in the corners. The orbs of light we used were either turned off or flickered with futile attempts to shine light. All of the changelings were now in the medical chambers with the injured, whose wounds had started to fester or were only half healed because there simply wasn’t enough magic to do more than a patch-up job. The ones who did their best to administrate care did not look much better than their patients. Their carapace was a sickly grey and their eyes had lost all shine, even Mother, who rushed from changeling to changeling to help, looked half starved.

The orb glowed once more. A green wave of magic washed over the Hive. My Siblings hissed in surprise as they jumped left and right and against each other in the confusion. I saw the wounded light up as their injuries closed. Legs, eyes and wings mended wherever the healing light touched. They stood again on certain legs and slowly but surely I could see smiles break out in the crowd. My Siblings jumped up and flew through the air as their magic was restored.

Mother looked up and gave a tired smile as a Sister that had been badly wounded jumped up and hugged her as soon as she was healed. For a moment I entertained the idea that she could see me, that she would tell me how proud she was of me. A little sound escaped from my throat. No, now was not the time for selfish crying. I would cherish this forever, without sadness. Whatever happened to me in the future did not matter now. This was worth it all.

I could have looked at them all day, but I was not only here for me. ’That’s enough,‘ I said and the tear closed up again. I turned to Yuri, who was staring at the orb in deep thought. He blinked as he noticed me. ’Your turn.‘

He waved his hand dismissively. “That’s okay, I can wait. I need some- Do you have another wish?” I cocked my head to the side. “It’s okay, really!” He made a poor attempt at a smile before returning to his thoughts while he bit his thumb through his glove.

I fidgeted with my hoofs. Why was he wasting time now? Did he not see his people needed him as soon as possible? Well, I supposed a few more seconds wouldn’t really matter. We now had the power to make everything right, after all. Besides, Yuri was right, there was one more very important wish I had to make. There was someone I desperately wanted to see. One who had to share in our victory. ’Can you bring back my Brother?‘

The Wish Granter glowed. ’No.‘

’What- what do you mean no? What kind of Wish Granter are you?‘ My wings fluttered in erratic shocks. ’You have to bring him back.‘

’The vessel’s Brother died. The wish granter can not change the past. It is permanent. The wish granter could make an exact copy of the vessel. With the same memories, body, and personality, but the original vessel would still be dead. Though some vessels would argue that this does not matter, copied vessels do not always agree. Especially since they remember the original dying.‘ The calmness of the voice really started to grate on me.

’Useless piece of trash!‘ I stood ready to strike, but stopped myself. Yuri still needed it. I let out a curse as I stomped the ground. I nearly had made it all right again. But nearly was just another word for ‘not at all’. Just like getting something that was “nearly” Brother was as bad as not getting Brother back at all. Changelings were interchangeable when it came to our jobs and positions, but we weren’t just copies of each other. I could never insult Brother like that, to treat him like he was just a tool and not something more. And what of his copy? Who brought someone in the world knowing they would have to die a few months later? It was unacceptable.

I stopped my brooding as I felt a hand land softly on my mane. My friend was crouched beside me. “You did everything you could.” For once I did not swat him away.

’And it just wasn’t good enough,‘ I spat the words out.

He pulled me a bit closer. “I didn’t know him all that well, but I think he would have been proud that you made it.” I said nothing, but after a while I nodded.

I gently shook the human’s hand off. ’There’s no sense in wasting any more time. Go make your wish.’

The human sighed and stood up. “I’m ready.” The orb hovered in silent anticipation. “Can I see my station?”

’Certainly,‘ the artifact said. Another tear slowly opened. I had to admit I was somewhat curious. I had seen the station in his memories and heard about it in our talks, but minds and words were not always reliable. With a jump I was in the air and hovering next to the human.

Tall and thin figures huddled about, sleeping on cold stonework in the dark or beneath ragged tents. There were too many of them for the precious little space they had, that was something I could see plainly. Humans stepping over humans, bumping into each other and sucking in air that must have been poor in oxygen, judging from the dull eyes and people holding their heads.

It must have been a rotten existence for anyone but a changeling.

It was a bizarre sight. I didn’t believe many had ever seen an alien world. The strangest thing was, the more I looked at it, the more familiar it seemed. If I ignored the strange, lanky bodies, it was somewhat like looking at a Hive. If I closed my eyes I could almost see myself walking down there, among them.

Yuri let out a sharp breath. “I’m not too late.” He shivered as he spoke again. “It’s not too late, but-” He stared through the rift for a moment longer, observing a few men and women exchanging bullets for what might have been food and clothes as they spoke their strange words. It seemed to give him some comfort to hear his own language again, even if they were said in such an abysmal marketplace. He looked at me for a moment before speaking. “It’s not supposed to still be this crowded. Something must have-” he swallowed. “Wish granter, show me my friends.”

Another tear opened up and it revealed a world of ice and ash. Winds were violently blowing up snow against ruined gigantic square buildings. One of them had half collapsed in on itself and spread over a dark road that was blocked by rusted heaps of metal. “Cars”, I plucked the word from Yuri’s mind, but he himself didn’t really understand what it meant. I felt my breath quickening as I looked at the carcass of a city that had once surpassed whatever this world held.

My friend let out a shout as he looked closer at the broken road. Something was scurrying excitedly down near the metal husks. Sickly creatures with grey patches of rough fur and long, emaciated forms clawed at each other as they fought for the slumped over rags in their middle. The creatures’ faces were dumpy and round, with a mouth that spread across it like an axe wound. Much like a wound, there was blood pouring out from their maws. I recognized the clumps they were eating from. I had seen them in my own human’s mind before: Sasha, Sergei and Stepan. ’That’s enough.’ I glanced over to Yuri as the tears closed.

“I- It’s just like- they couldn’t- they-“ His hands tightened into shaking fists as he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and opened them again, the seemed empty. “I was expecting it, but seeing it is a different thing.” He tried to smile at me, but it was a losing battle.

To my own surprise I hugged him. It was an awkward maneuver, he was much broader than my Sisters and Brothers and my legs did not bend in the right places, but somehow I managed. After a moment he answered with a hug of his own. We didn’t say anything. We both knew that no words could help.

After a while the human let me go and I returned to the ground. “It’s okay. I’m okay.” He wiped his face. “It’s okay.” He straightened himself and turned to the Wish Granter again, “I need some answers.”

’Certainly.‘

“Was it true, what they said? About what happens when humans die?” He stood defiantly, like he dared the Wish Granter to talk, but I could sense the nervousness oozing from him. “What would happen if the remaining humans came here?”

’It was correct,‘ the orb glowed once again. ’If human vessels were to come to this world, they would be unstoppable. No other vessels would be able to oppose them. Every human vessel that died would make the place of dead uninhabitable for anyone else. Their territory would stretch as far as they desired and would be theirs forever until the end of this world. But when they die the vessels will not pass on and be stuck in a magical feedback loop that would last far past the end of this world. Just as they are now locked in the vessel’s original world. Noted side effect: human vessels would concentrate magic upon their dead in such a way that all vessels that are reliant on magic would be extinct within an estimated three hundred years if two thousands humans were to arrive today. It is more likely however that the vessels of this world would try to exterminate the human vessels as soon as they arrive in this world. Their armies are not in place and they will likely fail. Estimates are the native vessels will be broken and defeated in 2 years if they try this tactic.‘

“I see,” was my friend’s quiet answer. “What if- what if I wished for our own world to be healed? If I wished for the poison, radiation, monsters and dust clouds to simply go away? Could we have at least that?”

’Possible. Side note: there is currently a buffer of several billion dead human vessels. To overcome this buffer such an amount of magic needs to be subtracted from this world that all magic reliant vessels would perish instantly.‘ The voice answered in its cold way.

“So we’re doomed either way.” Silence answered him. “But- but we could live here. If I wished it. Everyone back home is going to die if I don’t. Everyone. I only have to wish it.“ For one moment I felt a wave of dark emotions emanating from the human. For the first instance in our time together he was tempted to make the practical choice. It was like catching a glimpse into mirror of how I used to be. It made my chitin crawl.

The ponies said love was a healing force, a force of good that would bring harmony to the world. I had been guided by love for my family when I stole, ruined lives and did worse. Now the human was considering killing this world, because he loved his own people too much to let them die. It struck me that it was fitting that we fed on that emotion. Something that was disguising itself as something good, when it could turn into such a cruel and wretched thing in a moment.

I stared at Yuri’s slumped shoulders with unease. I had to help him. I had to do something, but what could be done? How I wished I still had access to the Hive. Then I could ask thousands to think alongside me. I shook my head. It was useless to think about that now. There had to be some way, I just had to be clever, like a changeling. My ears shot up. Perhaps there was one way.

’Wish Granter,‘ I started. ’Could changelings steal the magic from these “ghosts”?‘ Yuri looked at me incredulously. ’To put them to rest,‘ I added.

’Theoretically,‘ the Wish Granter said.

’What’s that supposed to mean? Can we or can’t we do it?‘

’It can theoretically be done. To clarify: imagine magic is like heat. Heat flows to places that are relatively colder. Vessels are special in that they can extract “heat” from the environment in higher concentrations than the background “temperature” and keep it from flowing away, but only to a certain degree. If something extremely “cold” were to be placed next to it, the vessel would lose its “heat”. In essence, this is how both changeling vessels and dead human vessels extract magic from other vessels. Dead human vessels are “colder” than anything in the world. Even changeling vessels can’t extract magic from them. However, it is possible to alter changeling vessels in such a way that they can become even “colder” and steal the magic from the dead vessel until it is dispersed. The problem is that there is always background magic, which would flow in fast rates towards these two “cold” vessels. The human vessel would be impossible to deplete in practice.‘

I blinked as I tried to process it all. How could we have this much power and still be unable to do anything? But what there was something the Wish Granter had said that would make it possible. ’What if there was no more background magic?‘

’With no background magic a sufficiently altered changeling vessel could disperse a dead human vessel in an average of five minutes.‘

My friend eyed me nervously. “What is this, Dozor?”

I hushed him. ’Let me think for a moment. Is it possible to close this connection between our worlds, so that no more magic flowed between them?‘

’Certainly,‘ came the unfeeling answer again. ’When cut off from this side, there would be no need to overcome the magical buffer of the other world’.

’And is it possible to alter a changeling in such a way that she could use magic to purify an environment?‘

The orb hovered in silence for a moment. ’If enough dead vessels are dispersed it is possible to purify an area of a certain size. Estimation: completely restoring the human vessel’s home city to a habitable state would cost one hundred and fourteen years of continuous work for a single changeling vessel. With further modifications, the changeling vessel could sustain itself for the necessary time span.‘

“Dozor, you don’t need to do this.” My human had evidently picked up on the plan that was forming in my head. He was, once again, being too soft.

’I have nothing left here. I’m no longer a Scout, my family has cast me out and I have no purpose or role in this world. If I stay here, I’ll be nothing and die so slowly over the years I’ll not even notice when the end comes.‘ I avoided my friend’s face as I stared intently at the golden sphere. ’And I have to make things right. Do you know how many have suffered because of me?‘ I shrugged my wings. ’Because I don’t. I lost count of that long ago. No. I never even counted them, because it all didn’t matter to me.‘

“My world isn’t your responsibility.” The human was becoming red in the face again, as he was want to do when he started arguing. “It’s not your fault. You don’t have to become some- some kind of slave to punish yourself.” He gestured at the entrance we had come from. “If you must make amends, do it here.”

’I want to do this! I have to do it!‘ I stomped the ground, but he did not relent.

“You’re forgiven, okay?” The human blurted out and I stopped. “I forgive you for it all. Now please, please don’t do this.” When no reply came he pushed on. “You have to understand. We are done for. It’s over for us. We’re not even going to make it for a hundred years anymore.” He grew quiet and stared at the tiles. “Don’t throw yourself away for a lost cause. Go and live in this world. Try to find some happiness or forgiveness here.”

A sad smile formed on my face. ’Forgiven? Yuri, you know you can’t lie to me.‘ The warmth of the fake sun caressed my face and for the first time in ages I felt a deep sense of purpose and peace descend on me. ’I always admired my Mother. To bring so much happiness to your children. To see them grow up to be strong and healthy. Her life is sacrifice, but one made with no regrets.‘ I unfurled my wings as I let the warmth of this place soak into me. ’If I no longer have a purpose, I think I should chose a new one. I think I’d like to be a Mother. At least of sorts.‘ Yuri was silent, watching me with great intent as his lips formed a thin line. ’Us lost causes have to stick together, you know. And I’m afraid you sold me on mankind a long time ago, human.’

I looked into the golden sphere once again. The face it reflected was distorted, looking like another changeling entirely. A changeling that would not live like a ghoul feeding on others and stalking in the shadows. One that could look in the eyes of others without shame or hiding herself. Her name was Dozor.

“Are you-“

’I am sure.’

The human rubbed his neck as he looked to the side. “My world is unkind. Not just the poison and ice on the surface, but some of the people as well. Not all of them will understand or care. It will be a dangerous life.”

’I suppose I’d need a guide of some kind, if that’s the case.’ I gave him a coy smile as I took to the air and hovered at eye level.

“I suppose you do.” He stuck out his hand. “Together?”

’Together’ I nodded as I stuck out my own hoof.

Unexpectedly he enveloped my hoof with both of his hands. For a second it looked like he was going to say something, but he thought better of it. After a gentle squeeze he let go and ruffled my mane.

’Hey!’ I shouted, trying to pretend to be annoyed, but we both couldn’t stop smiling.

For one moment I wondered what the ponies would think when they finally got past the shield and happened upon this room. And when they would finally discovered after weeks or years that no humans would ever again be found in their lands and that they had been saved. Would they think we had failed somehow? Would they believe some strange kind of mercy had been granted to them by these strange creatures from another world? Those creatures that had seemed foolish to the point of self-destruction, those creatures who had worked together with parasites that shared so many of their qualities. What would their history books say of this encounter, if anything at all?

Maybe they would deem it better to simply forget about the whole ordeal, to forget mankind and all its paradoxical motives and movements. To not think about the changelings who had haunted them for so long. I would not condemn them for it. Still, some part of me hoped they would look back on this, every now and again, and think of us.

Maybe it would one day make the difference. I had no idea how, but maybe one day there would be more changelings like me. On that day, perhaps the ponies would remember. A seed of doubt that had been planted in their minds that said maybe it didn’t have to be like it was now.

I straightened myself. That wasn’t for me to know anymore.

Smiling to Yuri again, I nodded. There we stood, next to each other, as we turned and addressed the Wish Granter for our final wishes.

It was time to go home.