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Out of Place

by Dan_s Comments

Chapter 8: Out of Context Part 2

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Out of Place - Out of Context Part 2

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

Billy Joel - Piano Man

Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us all feelin' all right

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke and he'll light up your smoke
But there's some place that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
As his smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie, is going to need a great and powerful nap," the caped mare said as she trudged towards the entrance to the Wonderbolts' training grounds. The guard she encountered was charcoal gray, and had an attitude that none would cross the threshold without a pass. The Great and Powerful Trixie displayed her pass. A paper-thin sheet of metal, on which were scribed: Ponyville, major or minor. Then send her to breakfast, Barnum.

"Major or minor, ma'am," the guard said on looking at the pass.

"Minor, very minor," the Great and Powerful Trixie replied haughtily, implying the town itself, or her defeat there.

"Please follow the mare," the guard said, friendly now that the Great and Powerful Trixie was permitted entry.

"Thank you," she replied and accompanied the white, earth pony mare.

"I heard all about you from Twilight Sparkle," the empty-headed functionary gobbled, "But Barnum says we're wrong about you. That you are really a good wizard. I mean skilled wizard."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is among the finest practitioners of magic in all of Equestria," the Great and Powerful Trixie told her, and yawned.

"Really?" the mare asked as they passed through some sheds. They seemed to be catching up to the odd mechanic or other drone as they headed towards our destination. "I heard you said you'd taken on an Ursa Major, but only the alicorn sisters have won against those. Then I heard you single-hoofedly captured the legendary Hoovy gang. I thought the Intelligence service caught them."

"Well, they had help they daren't acknowledge," the Great and Powerful Trixie explained.

"Oh, well, don't go lying to Barnum. Not only will he see through them, but he'll get really, really, really mad," the idiot got close and provided the Great and Powerful Trixie with the following intelligence, not that the mare could spare it, "They say he single-hoofedly beat up Sunny Days, he's a massive unicorn, big as a farm pony. And he might have really hurt him, if Celestia herself hadn't dislocated his legs to get him to stop. There's also the rumor that Barnum and Glory beat up Celestia herself, and they won! Can you believe it?" the mare gasped.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie puts little stock in rumors," the unicorn replied loftily.

"Okie Dokie Loki GeePeeTee," the mare said and grinned, "But, I think they may be more than rumors." She held the door to a barracks-style cafeteria open so The Great and Powerful Trixie could enter first.

"Thank you, and how would you know that, pray tell?" the unicorn answered.

The earth pony closed the door behind her, and Trixie froze as she stared at the revealed form Celestia herself. "Because I was there," the sovereign of Equestria said, "And you are right, they had help getting the gang. I think you'll like the pancakes. Barnum is a master of the griddle. And he has high hopes for you. Please don't disappoint him, GeePeeTee."

The Great and Powerful Trixie just got trolled by her Highness herself, the mage considered. She continued to the queue to get a stack of pancakes. With her breakfast in horn, The Great and Powerful Trixie took a place on the edges of the cafeteria, away from all the other ponies. Then a white unicorn mare she recognized as part of last night's group sat down across from her.

"So you're the mage who thinks she's hot stuff, and can do things the rest of us can't. I think you'd better consider that humiliating your opponent rather than answering their challenge won't work here," the mare said, all the while smiling, "This place spins on results, not the applause of the crowd."

"I would think showmareship would matter more here than in my little performances," The Great and Powerful Trixie replied calmly.

Who of yours did I humiliate?! she wondered of the smiling mare giving her visual daggers.

The retort was cut short by the arrival of a lummox of a mechanic, who sat down next to The Great and Powerful Trixie, and shoveled half the immense stack of pancakes he carried onto Trixie's plate. "Oh Great and Powerful Trixie, I must know, you have the trick of making the fireworks go in what seems like the sound of your voice. Oh, hello Glory Bell, pretty morning. So often, my rockets are off by the littlest bit. If perfection in synchronizing I could acquire, then perfection in the displays I would see. Understandable I am?"

"Yes, I understand you," Trixie replied disdainfully, and watched the lummox nod happily.

"Just watch yourself," the white mare warned as she stood away from the table.

"You gonna be too busy wit' you own watch, to fix other pony's," the lummox said, then looked around, "Ooo 'scues me, blockin' you's view." The lummox hooved his plate to the other side of Trixie, and then squeezed into the small space on the side with his plate, shoving Trixie down the bench. "She gonna get's what's coming to her. You see, is good you bet!" he said happily.

Trixie was about to dress down the moron, when she saw both alicorn sisters at the other end of the cafeteria. The Wonderbolts' leader, Spitfire tapped a cup on the table. The sound of eating and the conversations died away.

"As you well know. The flying machines, have been tested, broken, and repaired with amazing frequency. We have two ponies to thank for that."

"Soarin' for breaking them!" came the call from the kitchen. Everyone laughed, but Trixie tensed up.

"You wanted'em tested, I tested'em," the stallion in question shot back, "And quicker than you would have got otherwise." The crowd laughed at the riposte.

Okay, they trade barbs, but they are a group, and I'm on the outside, Trixie thought, And the 'them' includes both Princesses. She noted the two smiling mares standing with Spitfire.

"I was actually thinking of Barnum, and our own Glory Bell. I say our own because . . . " the Wonderbolts' leader turned to their Highnesses. From boxes in front of them, her Nightjesty pulled out a Shadowbolt's uniform, and her Majesty pulled out a Wonderbolt's uniform. The white unicorn mare gasped in astonishment. "You more than earned them," Spitfire told her.

"And about fricken time," Shadow Pearl threw in.

The mare stood stock still, staring at Spitfire. "I, I don't know what to say."

"Yes or no would be a good start," Trixie suggested, then grinned, "This place spins on results, not the applause of the crowd."

"Well said," Spitfire said, ignoring the mare's sour look at getting her comeuppance. "In case you're wondering, you're being invited to join both groups. So." Spitfire opened the box at her feet and pulled out a uniform that tiger-stripped the Shadowbolts' and Wonderbolts' colors. Glory was speechless as her friends stomped their hooves and whistled.

Trixie ate silently, feeling alone in a crowd. Enjoying the food. At least I don't have to 'perform' for my supper, Trixie thought, How long has it been since I could be alone in a crowd? When people weren't either screaming insults at me, or demanding stories or tricks? She looked around at the crowd of Wonderbolts and presumably Shadowbolts, who were congratulating Glory Bell.

Barnum, the stallion who'd humbled her the previous night sat down across the table from her. He horned over the syrup and poured it over the stack of pancakes he'd brought over with him. "When you're ready, we'll head out to the hanger. And I'll show you what I need your expertise for."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie works for more than a mere hand out," Trixie said.

"Okay, I'll give you a free piece of advice. Steer clear of Glory Bell. Be polite, but don't engage. You did your usual trick on one of her cousins. The 'only one with artistic pretensions who's worth a damn'. After you humiliated him, it took him six months to start producing art again. Much of that time was Glory urging him on. She deeply resents that, and before you say 'what could she do', the boy's father, Glory's uncle, is Sir Eagle Bell. While he isn't enthused about his son being a painter, he dotes on his niece and takes her word that the stallion's talent will reflect well on the family."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie knows not of this 'Sir Eagle Bell'," Trixie replied.

"The difference between Sir Eagle Bell and the full might and attention of the civil service of Equestria, is thin enough you could shave with it. As a strolling player, you probably have nothing to fear, but if you have higher aspiration, he would be well able to block them. At the moment, you are under my aegis. But that protection is neither infinite nor absolute. If you antagonize her, or me, I'll leave you to their tender mercies. As for your fee. I am prepared to pay 200 bits now, and an additional 300 if you can solve the problem."

Trixie had ignored the implied threat, she was powerful and very good at avoiding such things. Five HUNDRED!? she thought, glad he'd waited until she had nothing in her mouth to choke on, I was hoping to make that much in a month. If I can make it in a few days, and they'll be picking up the food bills. Trixie smiled.

"I'll be ready before you're done with your breakfast, then you can show me this problem," the Great, Powerful and soon-Rich Trixie told him.


"She's planning to rip you off," Mulberry Sun warned, his act as a moronic lummox dropped once he was away from his charge.

"I know that. But I hope to get the 500 bits worth. A few insights neither I nor Glory have latched onto will be more than worth it, even if we have to run down the details ourselves. Besides, 500 bits is pocket change. I can spend that much fixing one of Soarin's minor crashes. She's doing nickel and dime cons for the audience. The group you're with can raise a hundred kilobits for charity by selling their old uniforms. She's strictly small time, and I don't think that's going to change."

"Sad, she's seems a clever mare," the stallion lamented.

"There are people, ponies, who have to prove they are the smartest ones in the room, no matter who is, or what they could gain by patience and a little humility," Barnum said, "But, it's my habit to give people enough rope to hang themselves."

"I think she's going to do that," Mulberry said. They waited for several minutes for the mage to appear. Mulberry got back into character, talking about timing of fireworks. Barnum carefully removed the covers to the quadra-Diane's drive train.

The Shaken and Befuddled Trixie wandered in, looking like most ponies did after a 'chat' with their Highnesses.

"They are real ponies, and try to act the part," Barnum added, not helping.

One of these days, he's going to have to realize he's the only one immune to the Princesses' presence, Mulberry thought, Although, it may be better to give them someone to talk to and play with, who isn't completely intimidated.

The mare looked up at him as a rabbit might look at a passing train. "The Great and Powerful Trixie finds your sacrilege, unsettling."

"All right then. On a more secular note. These linkages lead from these pedals, all the way to these rotors. The rotors rotate, and lift and direct the machine. How would you go about enhancing the carrying capacity and maneuverability of the machine?"

Poor mare, now she's really confused, Mulberry thought as the unicorn looked at the complicated transmission and drive shafts. Then at Barnum, and then back.


"Doom has settled on us," Glory moaned as she trudged back to the workshop, "The demonstration is tomorrow. Oh, we could get GeePeeTee to help," she accused, "Oh wait, she ran off in the middle of the night after you paid her. Whatever was I thinking? We are never going to be ready."

"Sure, if we work all night," Barnum reassured her, as he wobbled drunkenly on his hooves, his own exhaustion rivaling hers, "If we can keep from falling asleep in the paint, we'll get the job done by morning." Only a quick bump from Sergeant Mile Stone kept him from walking into a pillar. "Thanks. As for the showmare, she did what we asked. We had no right to hold her, and no expectation she'd agree to another job. Although it might have helped if you'd offered to put her in the half-time show. And I did offer her another commission, and I offered to build her a new wagon. I think she ran off because we were accepting her, and she couldn't deal with that. Although maybe she knew a wake-up spell. Keep us alert for the flying, after the painting."

"I don't think you can do it," the Sergeant lamented, "Especially the last. Not and safely fly tomorrow."

"It will be a most honorable death," Glory intoned, and nearly collapsed on the floor. Claire caught her by the scruff of the neck and prevented that. "Thanks, what are we going to do?"

"You're asking me?" he asked incredulously, "I can't count past four without using some otherpony's hooves."

In the workshop, stood the two single-seat Dianes needing painting, and the most gorgeous, alluring mare Glory had ever seen, save the princesses. "Ah . . . " she managed.

Barnum looked up, squinted, trying to bring the apparition into focus. The mare looked like a zebra-unicorn, with the long legs and small body of an alicorn. Glory immediately felt inadequate and clumsy next to this vision of grace and beauty.

"Good evening," Barnum managed, the only one not struck dumb by the vision of loveliness.

"I was engaged for the evening," the mare said, even her voice was as smooth and warm as melted chocolate, and hinted at things Glory was not really supposed to know about. "I was told you know a mutual friend, Moon City?"

"Ah yes," Barnum said brightly, "I take it your, services, are widely varied."

"You take it correctly," she said and watched as the colt approached her, "Although, you are a little young. And you seem to have a lovely partner your own age."

Glory blushed right through her fur.

"The tribal markings and flame ornamentation, tattoos, or body paint, and your own work?" Barnum asked as he circled her.

Glory ashamedly refocused, trying to take the mare in as a whole, and realized she was a fanciful vision of a tribal war-dancer. More from popular literature, but fairly accurate none-the-less.

"Body paint," she said proudly, "My own work." The mare turned, letting both see her paint brush cutie-mark, disguised among a far more intricate design.

"Fan of the Wonderbolts I see," Barnum said as he crossed around in front of her.

"Young sir, you do know what I was hired for, don't you?" she asked nervously.

"Milady, you are quite attractive. Even I can see that, although I am seeing three of you. But if their Highnesses burst in at this moment, both in season, demanding I father their heirs, I would hope they brought a doctor along, because I would not be able to be an active participant. Now, I hate to sound like the punch line of a joke, but those two machines need painting, one in the Wonderbolts' colors, the other in the Shadowbolts. You have some skill with intricate details, and I think you'd be perfect for the job, and believe me, you're sent right from Celestia herself if you can do it."

The mare actually looked uncomfortable at that comment. "You're joking, right?"

Barnum walked over to a table and pulled a slip of paper off it, and handed it to Mile Stone. "Here's how much I'm joking. You've heard about the big Hoofball game tomorrow."

"Everyone in Equestria has. None of my, other friends have engaged me to escort them there."

"That's a pass to the Royal Box. You do a good job painting, it's yours," Barnum said.

Glory gasped.

Barnum faced her. "If you think I'm going to be anywhere other than checking out the equipment, especially the safety equipment, until the half-time show, you're out of your tree," he told her, "I don't know why you kept yours, you're going to be dancing on eggshells too."

Glory shrugged. "Sergeant, if you can get the lady through the security, you might as well get your wife through as well," Glory said as she horned over her pass to the sergeant.

Now the sergeant seemed thunderstruck.

"Well, I thank you and blessings be on whomever hired you," Barnum said, "I'm going to bed."

"I don't think that's a bad idea either," Glory added.

"Your own bed," Claire insisted.

"Allow me," the mare said as she horn lifted the frame and set it down, then pulled the blankets and sheets, arranging them carefully.

"Thanks," Glory managed, and collapsed onto the bed. She was vaguely aware of Claire covering her.

She heard the mare quietly ask, "What kind of nut house did I walk into?"

"The gentle kind," Mile Stone replied, "Do you need a smock, or just a wash after?" he asked, before Glory drifted beyond the walls of sleep.


"At least somepony had a sense of humor," I say as I look at the two, superbly painted Dianes.

"It's your fault," Glory says as she heads to the bathroom, "Everyone around you goes a little crazy." Claire giggles slightly as she walks past it.

"I think the lady more than earned her place," Merry Lifter comments.

The Dianes are marvelously painted. One is in Wonderbolts colors on the port side, and Shadowbolts on the starboard. The other is the opposite. On the main shaft fairing, the faces of each of the current Wonderbolts, and the current Shadowbolts on the appropriate side.

"It's a beautiful job, and it shows everyone." I turn to Merry Lifter. "You're right, the lady earned her place."

"Considering none of the ruling princesses are going to be in the box, while they're on the field, it's not going to cause too much of a scandal," Merry Lifter says.

"Where's Cadence going to be? I heard she was back in town," I say as I finish my inspection.

"She's going to be working with the umpires and officials. I suspect she's working with Captain Armor." The wiggling eyebrows tell me that he buys into the rumors about them getting closer.

"I'm just worried how their Highnesses are going to keep this from being a complete magic-fest, instead of a more usual contest," I say as I plot getting the Dianes out of the room, without damaging the paint job.

Glory exits the bathroom, and Claire darts in after. I'm going to wait a bit longer.

"So what do . . . oh, wow!" Glory says as she sees all the details. "How do we get to the . . . ?" She looks around Wonderbolts' practice field. "I think her Majesty wins this level of the 'prank war'."

"Yeah, and I'm going to have to explain to Claire where you suddenly went," I reply.


"Hoofball is very like football/soccer," Barnum said as he looked over the stands, the pageantry, and flags denoting team loyalties, "A huge amount of activity to little result. Boring."

It's all Captain Armor could do to keep himself from berating or assaulting the arrogant colt. "It's the most popular game in Equestria!" he managed.

"It's perfect for kids," Barnum responded, "Let's them burn off a huge amount of energy, and no score to result in hard feelings. Older kids and adults can then spend a couple hours over age-appropriate drinks going over what might have been."

"How can you even think that?" Armor stammered.

"I believe in accomplishment. If nothing is achieved, it serves no purpose," Barnum replied evenly, "Like I said, for a pick-up game it's good exercise. That's its accomplishment. But as a spectator sport, it's perfect for any crab-bucket culture. Might as well watch lice races."

Only Cadence's giggles prevented homicide. "You're so angry, we're nearly the same color," the princess laughed.

"Besides, Celestia is going to mop the floor with them," Barnum said, "So you might actually get an interesting game."

"Then why aren't you going to watch?" Cadence asked.

"I don't want bloodshed during the half-time. Excellence and innovation take constant care," Barnum said and walked back down the ramp to oversee preparations for the half-time Diane demonstration.

"Everyone is entitled to a few wrong opinions," Cadence offered.

"Yeah, okay," the captain admitted.

"Besides, considering what he did to Sunny Days, you might not come out as well as you think," Cadence teased, before moving out.

The captain sighed and walked after her. He glanced up at the other aberration Barnum had added. The soiled dove had arrived, with a ticket, properly signed pass, and Mile Stone and Bran Scone as escorts and chaperones. She'd painted one side of her face to match Luna's colors, and the other to match Celestia's. Then she'd somehow convinced a sensible mare like Bran Scone to go along with it and get the same. Now the soiled dove was applying similar make-up to many of the younger society 'ladies'.

"Are you going to stay partisan?" Cadence asked as they walked towards the officials.

"I'm Celestia's guard captain," he replied, "So yes, I'm staying a Celestia partisan."

This seemed to amuse her.

The teams headed out onto the field. Their Highnesses wore identical jerseys. Both a pleasant blue marked on both sides and front with an interlinked Sun and Rays and Crescent Moon symbols, like their cutie-marks. Some idiot reporter had actually asked if that would cause confusion. Her Majesty had answered, with a perfectly straight face, that they'd measured, and she was substantially taller than Princess Luna.

The official the teams were collecting around, was one of the most respected and fairest in the professional leagues. The rest of his staff were similar stallions and mares. They also knew this 'fun' match would be scrutinized more closely than the Equestria Cup.

The introductions began. Luna's team was a complete squad with a fair number of backups. Some were players from the farm teams. None of the pros had sided with the NLR, except to teach some of the more novice players the finer points of the game.

Celestia stood by herself.

"The statement is heartbreaking," Cadence whispered as the introductions went on, "Luna has her friends and supporters, but Celestia has to stand apart from all of us. Because if she fails, only she can shoulder that burden."

"So why aren't we out there?" Armor whispered back.

"Like I said, so if she loses, only she can be blamed," Cadence said.

The symbolism doesn't seem lost on the other players, or the crowd. Nor did it receive the same interpretation. Armor caught comments on 'arrogance' about her Highness. Luna put a stop to those among her team, but she seemed torn in two that she was opposing her sister, even in a 'friendly' game.

The first pitch moved Celestia out of the poor, lost lamb category. Poné, the most famous kicker in the history of Hoofball walked to the center of the play field with the ball, and kicked it straight up as high as she could. Even three years of retirement hadn't dulled her skills. The ball went literally straight up. Celestia and two pegasi strikers raced into the air to catch it.

The two mortals had no chance. Celestia instantly outpaced them, and headed the ball into higher and higher altitudes. They could barely keep up with her Highness, let alone prepare a plan to steal the ball.

Then, in a move that while totally legal, had every coach, striker and the Wonder and Shadowbolts studying it, Celestia turned on her back. She zigzagged across the sky, flying inverted, dodging any attempt by the pegasi to intercept, while dribbling the ball with her forelegs. Luna, in the goal, moved just as randomly, trying to prepare for the goal attempt she knew was coming.

Celestia dove, still zigzagging. Only when the sun was behind her did she hammer the ball so hard it was a miracle it stayed together. Luna tried to sight the ball, but only spotted it too late to prevent her sister's goal. Celestia pulled up and flew out of bounds, but it didn't matter, she'd already fired the ball, and the ball was what mattered.

As the crowd went absolutely insane, Celestia raced back to her goal. Luna placed the ball, and back kicked it on a shallow arc. The wind caught it, but Luna had already compensated for that.

"You can't do that," Armor whispered as he watched someone kick the ball across the entire field, and straight to the goal. Any other goalkeeper might have been overwhelmed, but Celestia kicked the ball back in a high arc. Luna watched and waited in her goal as the ball descended.

"Clear the field!" her Nightjesty shouted as she calculated the approach. As her team scrambled for the sidelines, Luna kicked the ball back down the field. It screamed past, knee high, and unstoppable. For anyone but Celestia. She kicked it back. It bounced a few times, but came straight at the goal.

Luna waited, and back hoofed it, sending it up over the heads of her team. For an instant it looked like it was way off course. Then it curved back towards the target.

"I've seen unicorns do that with baseballs," Cadence asked quietly, "How do you throw a slider with a Hoofball."

"I haven't figured out how they're kicking it the length of the field," Armor answered.

Celestia's answer was a bouncer that landed near some of Luna's teammates, but far enough away that they weren't the targets. Luna fired back a lightning bolt of a shot. Celestia intercepted it, and returned another slow bouncer that was child's play for Luna to fire back. This time a high arc.

"Is that ball ever going to come back?" Cadence asked as she shielded her eyes to stare into the sky.

"If it does, there's no guarantee it'll land in Canterlot, let alone in the stadium," Armor replied as he too watched the sky, "Twilie would probably say it would have to compensate for the rotation of the planet as well." The captain paused. "I don't want to think that her Nightjesty did those kinds of calculations in her head, and then kicked a ball that accurately."

Celestia walked over to a specific location in her goal, and stood ready. After what seemed like minutes, the ball came sailing down, and Celestia jumped up to head it back across the field. It bounced several times, and towards the end, moved slow enough any decent gradeschooler could have fielded it. Several of Luna's teammates, who had been basically sidelined during the goalie duel looked ready to lunge after the ball. They all let it pass, and Luna fired the ball back as a scorching streak. Celestia kicked it back as a gentle bouncer which Luna fired back.

After several repetitions of Luna firing high, low, curve, slider, and Celestia returning a gentle bouncer, Luna's team broke from position to charge the ball and got back into play. The ten of them mobbed the ball and charged down field with it, Celestia countercharged straight into them.

She intercepted the ball in a brilliant steal, and stripped of all defenders, charged the goal screaming a terrifying war cry. As she drew near, and Luna braced to defend, Celestia switched to a bloodcurdling shriek, like an owl's cry as an ululation, going up and down in pitch as well as in volume. Celestia suddenly flared her wings as the cry reached a crescendo.

Luna shied from the sight, missing that Celestia had kicked the ball in. She came to her senses too late and dove for the ball. She slowed it, but it still crossed the goal line. Two-nothing, Celestia's favor. The period ended and the crowd went absolutely wild.

"Even if she's overthrown, there's no team in the world that wouldn't snatch her up as a striker," Armor whispered in awe as her Highness cantered back to her goal, and Luna's coaching team called a time out and assembled the entire squad together for a brief consultation.

"Why don't they let Luna play?" Cadence asked.

"She's the goalie," Armor replied.

"What about 'the best defense is a good offense'?" Cadence asked pointedly, "They practically have no offence to speak of. Except Luna."

Armor considered. "I suppose that they wanted her to take a supporting role. Symbolism," he replied.

"It's symbolic that they get their heads beat in?" Cadence said, "That makes a lot of sense. I'm going to talk to some of the VIPs. Let's go."

Armor watched as Celestia knelt on the grass, seemingly meditating, while the coaches talked to Luna and the others.

The officials whistled for the time out's end, and Poné kicked the ball high in the air again. Celestia again stole the ball from the now five pegasus strikers, and dove for the deck, faster than they could dive. At seemingly the last moment, she pulled up and charged the goal at a full gallop. As the ground defenders massed to try to steal the ball, and the pegasi closed in from above, Celestia kicked the ball up, into the middle of the pegasi. As the bewildered air team tried to take advantage of Celestia's seeming mistake, Celestia herself leapt into the midst and seemed to be in control of the ball as she brought the 'air-game' close enough to ground defenders that they leapt and bounced to support their comrades, all the while the milling sphere drew closer to the goal. Luna danced side to side as she tried to be ready when the ball came sailing out of the sphere.

"She's trying to distract you!" Luna shouted, "Leave only one or two, and let the others -!" The ball shot out of the mass, but at such a bad angle Luna almost didn't chase it down. The ball hit the ground, bounced off one of the divots created during the mortar volleying, and bounced over Luna's rump and away from the goal. But Celestia headed it back in for the point as Luna had to reverse her charge.

Luna stamped her hooves in fury and frustration as Celestia raced back to her own goal. She called a time out on her own and called the coaches and players together for a conference. As they discussed, a second team appeared on the field. The cheers of the crowd thundered over anything previous. The teams were the heroes and legends of the game, some still active. Some recently retired. Enough for two full teams of eleven each. With each team was a ball. They formed up, the same formation: four in front, three in a second line, two groups of two on each wing. The last pony, simulating the goalie, patrolled the rear of the formation. In both cases, the last pony was a famous player turned famous coach. A bit slower on the hoof than the others, but faster upstairs.

"That formation's illegal," Armor gasped as he watched the two teams start at the midline and advance steadily.

"Yes," Cadence replied, "Let's forget there's two full teams on the field."

"No, that's the 'armored wedge'," he said as the second line's trios dribbled the ball among themselves, as the whole formation advanced steadily down the field. "There is no way to break that formation without injuring somepony. It's been banned from regulation and scholastic play for decades!"

"So two of them, staffed by the greatest, living players of the game, is unstoppable?" Cadence asked.

Armor nodded numbly.

"Then they understand," Cadence said with relief, as Celestia leapt into action, charging straight down the middle of the field between the two formations. The two center wings moved, not to engage her, but to protect the second line.

The crowd gasped as Celestia leapt over the defenders, and practically landed on the ball. Pausing only to kick it out of bounds, she jumped back into the air, performed a Wonderbolt-worthy Immelmann turn and again, nearly landed on the ball, kicking it away from the formation. She'd only kicked the second ball hard enough to get it into the clear, and she leapt after it as the entire formation tried to close in. She kicked the ball the length of the field, but didn't wait to see that effect. The other team had gotten the ball back and was preparing to kick it back in bounds, and the kicker was Poné herself.

Celestia landed in the goalie box as Poné prepared, her Highness lowered her horn, flared her wings, and her tail spread like a peacock's. The sheer unadulterated menace pouring off her serene majesty was palpable. Poné visibly shook herself. She braced again and pawed the ground in clear challenge, as it to tell the world, 'I am Poné, I care nothing for goalies, no matter who they are!' The crowd went absolutely nuts.

"She's going to kick a Thunderbolt," Armor said.

"What's that?" Cadence asked.

"A powerful kick, aimed straight at the opponent's head," Armor said, "More than one goalie has flinched at receiving one of those." He concentrated on raising a shield before her Majesty.

"Let her stop it," Cadence said sharply, "Those two understand."

"Understand what?" Armor demanded, his concentration momentarily broken.

Poné had kicked, and for an instant it looked like Celestia would catch the ball on her horn. But she reared at the last moment and caught the ball with her forehooves.

"She caught a Thunderbolt?!" Armor squeaked as her Highness reared up, and drop kicked the ball the length of the field. The ball sailed through the air with the sound of ripping canvas, tore through the net on the goal, and continued down the stadium tunnel behind it.

"Some kid is going to get a marvelous souvenir," Cadence suggested, as Celestia walked over to Poné, and hugged the mare like greeting an old friend. "That's what I meant by 'they understand'. This is a demonstration, and her Serene August Solar Majesty, gets to run around and show what she's really capable of."

"So the best players, formed two, illegally effective formations, and Celestia was able to break them without hurting them, and score two goals in response?" Armor said in confusion.

"Exactly. And no hard feelings or animosity from either side once it is over," Cadence clarified.

"Politics," he said disgustedly.

"Of course," Cadence teased, "For Equestria!"

The extended break was over, and this time, a lone pegasus was left as the goalie. Luna would lead from the front.

Poné again kicked the ball as high as she could, and only Luna and Celestia pursued this time. Fully two-thirds of the other players spread out to receive the ball when it landed, and the other third to defend the goal. The two alicorns headed, kicked, wing buffeted, and even tail struck the ball. Higher and higher, until both were lost from sight of all but those who'd brought powerful binoculars or telescopes.

One such were the referees, who blew a whistle and signaled a foul. No card was displayed, so it wasn't a serious foul. The unicorn official used a spell to amplify his voice. "Striking an opponent, Celestia will be awarded a direct kick. Also, in view of the safety of the spectators, all contests for the ball will remain below one mile above the field. No card for this instance. Any following infractions will yield a yellow card, the second by that player will result in a red card and expulsion."

"I bet they never had that problem before," Armor commented.

While the official was announcing, Luna and Celestia had landed and were conferring. The two princesses approached the officials. The small group consulted, there were nods from both princesses and finally from the officials. The unicorn stepped away, and reactivated his spell.

"At the request of both team captains, and with the understanding of the officials. The normal 'no magic' rule has been suspended for this kick. Princess Luna will replace the goalkeeper, and Princess Celestia will kick. All others will clear the field, and if the magic endangers any spectator, player or official, the kick will be ruled blocked, and that player will receive a yellow card."

"This is nuts," Armor said, "What are they going to do against each other?"

"That's part of what people deserve to see," Cadence said as the officials placed the ball at mid field, not at the usual range. Then ran for it, shepherding the other players off the field.

Luna stood in the goalie box, and pawed the ground. Celestia walked behind the ball, back and forth, back and forth. A pacing tiger would have wanted to look like Celestia.

Celestia's horn glowed, and with every step, another Celestia appeared, dozens circled behind the ball, ready to make the kick at any movement.

Luna knelt down in the box, another appeared beside her, then one atop the pair, more on each side, as a second, then a third rank appeared on top of them. Kneeling shoulder to shoulder, horns facing outward, they completely blocked any access to the goal.

The Celestias stopped pacing. The first rank lay down, the second rank knelt, the third rank crouched while the fourth rank stood tall. Twenty-wide and four-deep, the Celestias' horns began to glow. The dozens of Lunas' horns glowed as well. The ball trembled as a light gold aura surrounded it and it moved slowly towards the goal. A moment later, a cobalt-blue aura pushed the gold aura back to cover only half the ball. The ball came to a halt. Slowly the ball moved side-to-side, forward-and-back.

Small dust devils swirled near the ball as the horns blazed. Little arcs of lightning formed where the auras touched and earthed themselves in the field. The wall of Lunas became hard to look at, while the phalanx of Celestias had passed to point of being painful to look at. A Celestia disappeared, then another. A Luna vanished. And the ball oscillated more widely. Two Celestias vanished, then three more. A Luna on the bottom row vanished, and the two second row Lunas extended their legs to support the row above them. On the ball, the gold and blue flowed over each other, like oil and vinegar in a dressing, mixing, separating and swirling again. Celestias continued to vanish. Lunas' formation wobbled as they likewise disappeared.

The decision came. The ball exploded. The Lunas began tumbling and vanishing. The Celestias disappeared until only one weary alicorn remained. The uniformed officials swarmed out on the field.

"The kick is blocked. Each team will be charged with a time out, to gather themselves."

Medics raced out to check on the two grinning 'combatants'.

"Okay, who won that one?" Armor asked.

"I think they showed why they don't fight," Cadence said, "Especially each other. How much force does it take to crush one of those balls?"

"More than a skull," Armor admitted, "And were those real, or illusions."

"You're the soldier, what would you do?" Cadence asked.

"Real enough to hurt you is real," Armor replied.

The medics had both mares up and walking slowly around. Both of them grinning at the 'battle' they'd just fought.

Finally, Poné set the ball at the midfield, and ran away. Celestia kicked the ball over the heads of most of the team. Luna jumped up and kicked it back towards Celestia's goal. Celestia intercepted it, knocking it to the ground and chasing it down as Luna's players closed in. Celestia used the players as cover and concealment as she advanced the ball down the field.

The officials blew a whistle. The players dispersed, revealing a player wrapped around the ball.

"Ball handling, or tripping?" Armor asked, and awaited the call, "Both are direct kicks." He turned to Cadence. "Or was that political, getting her Highness to kick or step on one of the NLR players?"

"Possibly both." Cadence nodded towards Luna talking with the player, and directing her off the field. "Someone wants a clean game, even if she loses."

The goalie is sweating bullets as the officials set up a classic penalty kick. Celestia feints one way, kicks it in another. The goalie falls for the feint and can't get back to prevent the real short.

"Four-zip." Armor looked at the clock and realized no one was eager to kill themselves over the last 30 seconds. They let the clock run out. Luna hugged Celestia, who hugged her back. The two walk off to their dressing rooms. Luna was visibly trying to buck up her team members, but both she and Celestia seemed very weary.

"Are you going to get revenge on Barnum by not watching his demonstration?" Cadence asked.

"I am going to check on my sovereign, and talk to her trainers and doctors," Armor said as he headed after Celestia.


"Have you seen any of the game, Barnum?" Captain Armor exclaims, "Even if that was Union out there, she'd still be up two nothing!"

"You're surprised?" I ask as I escort the Dianes out onto the field. Nothing gets near the rotors as I watch and make corrections.

"Relax, dad," Soarin's says, "Nobody's gonna hurt your babies."

"If they were my daughters, you wouldn't be anywhere near them," I tell him, "Except as a gelding."

"Ooo!" Topaz says as she guides the non-flight quadra-Dianes to their display sites.

Other unicorns are assembling the piles of stone segments that the Shadowbolts and Wonderbolts are going to be carrying. A cart squeals under the load that Neanderpony and I will be carrying aloft. The segments weigh in around 50 lb./25 kilos. Ours weighs 10 times that. Glory is running the ground crew for us. Shadow Pearl will work for the pegasi. On the field, the normal ground crew are rushing to set up the tall flag poles that mark out the course. Once around the oval described by the seats of the stadium. Then through the slalom of the flag poles set up down the length of the field centerline. And a last time around the oval.

It's a run I know the Dianes will lose, even the little ones Storm and Soarin' will be flying, let alone the quadri-Diane I'll take through, I think.

"The real test is running the stone through the same course. The two 'winners' will be our opponents," I remind Neanderpony as we do the final checks on the quadra-Diane, an abbreviated version of the test we'd done. Unless the lieutenant's plan is needed, I think and note how excited the crowd seems.

"Ready," Neanderpony asks as he shakes himself out, stretching slightly to warm up.

"As anything."

"You want to run through the course backward?" he asks.

"No, let's run it straight. If we win the last part, when we drop the load, we should do that run as our 'victory lap'," I tell him.

The Wonderbolts and Shadowbolts are introduced, and the basic rules are explained. That they and the Dianes will race through the course. The finalists will compete against the fully-loaded Diane. The crowd reacts to the announcement that the bizarre-looking machine would carry such a weight into the air.

"I guess we don't warrant an introduction," Neanderpony complains.

"Do you really want everyone knowing your name?" I ask 'Fluffy'.

Neanderpony grimaces. Princess Cadence approaches. "Good luck, to you all," she says, "Uh, can you stretch things out?" she asks nervously, "I know it's a race, but I think their Highnesses need the time."

"There are plans in work. The lieutenant can brief you," I tell her.

She nods and heads to talk with the Wonderbolts and Shadowbolts.

"Nice mare," Neanderpony comments, and studies the rotor as I look at him.

"Some day, I'm going to get revenge by telling you what I really know," I tell him.

He stares at me as we mount up.

The rotors turn and we lift off the ground. An adjustment and we shift to faster flight mode. We reach the entry at roughly the same time as the others, but the pegasi, and the smaller Dianes quickly outrun us, and it gets worse. Spitfire is through the slalom, before we even enter.

"Don't worry, this is just the warm up for us," I remind Neanderpony.

He doesn't like getting beat any more than I do, I remind myself, But the speed test only decides who's going to lose against us in the real test. We're way behind by the time we finish the course, dead last.

Glory is waiting, and grinning suspiciously as we fly in and hover over the heavy stone. Claire standing off to the side has her hand up, warning us not to lift, until Glory has the strap locked in place. Claire signals Glory's done, and I catch her running away through the corner of my eye.

We take up the slack slowly. The two of us strain as we put more effort through our legs and into the rotors. The quadra-Diane lumbers into the air. The massive swaying load reduces our speed considerably. Both Neanderpony and I are straining to keep the speed up. But not as much as Spitfire, Fleetfoot and Jubilee are straining, while carrying their much smaller loads. I can't hear the crowd noise over the singing of blood in my ears, but I can count to three just fine.

Okay, the agreement was two, but if it gives a better show with three, then so be it, I think then glance at Neanderpony and nod, I see it too, but we'll still win.

Spitfire and Fleetfoot are putting down their first loads as we enter the slalom. The slung load forces us to compensate just like it had in practice, test as you fly, but we take it slow and steady. Not much faster than a trotting pace, but we're moving. Spitfire passes us with her second load as we exit the slalom. Once clear, we accelerate as quickly and as much as we can. Fleetfoot passes us soon after. Jubilee passes us as we pass the quarter-mark on our last circuit of the loop. The three mares are all straining as they pass.

My legs are warning me that I don't have too much more. Neanderpony has a determined stare as he is straining too.

I could use my magic, I remind myself of the tricks Trixie came up with, before she slipped away, But that's not the point.

We're on our last leg when the two smaller Dianes race off with a load slung underneath, and Tuxie leading the way. Neanderpony looks at me with worry as we maneuver to put the stone down inside the walls of the cart that brought it out. Prove the precision possible in the design, I think as we hold the quadra-Diane over the cart as Glory guides us to place the massive stone. Spitfire picks up the last of the ten pieces as we are sideslipping with the stone according to Glory's hoof signals. We get it down in perfect position before Spitfire makes it to the slalom. Claire unhooks us, and we back away.

Neanderpony grunts and nods at Lieutenant Solitude. She's giving us the signal to extend things a bit. Glory is leading Princess Cadence, Claire is giving us hand signals to prepare for a hook up. We wait and watch her signals. I'm too focused to look down at the pair beneath us. I register the sound of the load clip being engaged. Neanderpony and I take up the slack and gauge the load beneath us. We lift off and reverse through the course. We aren't racing, just proving we can do it. Below us, Glory and Cadence wave to the crowd as we perform our Kulwicki-style 'Polish Victory Lap', flying backward through the course.

I risk a glance down. Glory, in her mixed-bolt uniform is enjoying every moment of the performance. Cadence looks like she'd rather be facing an angry dragon, but waves gamely. The crowd loves it, although only a few seem to realize we're flying backwards.

As we settle back onto the ground after completing our circle, Glory and Cadence scramble out of the sling they'd been riding in. As we land, with a slight bump, Glory approaches and tells us, "The other Dianes took a medical emergency. We decided to let you finish rather than call it off."

Shadow Pearl approaches. "Some kid fell from bleachers. With a concussion, teleporting him wasn't a good idea," Shadow Pearl tells us, "Blaze and Surprise took the kid and a doc to the hospital with Tuxedo warning the hospital they were on their way."

"Not the way I'd want to prove the usefulness of the machine," I say and look over the crowd, "Do they know?"

"Only that someone was hurt. They don't think you were showboating. Cadence and Glory told the crowd that the two little ones were standing by in case of such an emergency."

"Give credit to the Princesses," Neanderpony says appreciatively.

"I think you also sold them on the idea of using it for other purposes," Shadow Pearl says, "I think I also understand why you're so persnickety about the equipment. Jubilee pulled some wing muscles carrying those loads."

I nod. "I think we'd better get our stuff off the field so her Highness can finish."

"Think Princess Celestia will still keep her lead in this?" Shadow Pearl asks.

"I don't know, because I'm going to go sleep through the next hour," I tell him.

"Let one of our trainers give you a rub down," he says, the tone makes it an order, but I wouldn't have argued. The teams carefully move the Dianes back to their temporary hangers. Claire is supporting Neanderpony. My legs feel like rubber, and I can't keep up with the slow moving Dianes. Two ponies move up and support me, I recognize Topaz and Fleetfoot.

"You're going straight to Specter Dancer," Fleetfoot informs me.

"As if you could run away from an angry turtle in your condition," Topaz adds.

The pony is either a stallion, or a burly mare, but the pony easily picks me off the ground and puts me on the table. I'm asleep while the trainer is still working out the kinks in my legs.

Next Chapter: Out of Context Part 3 Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 5 Minutes
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