Twilight paced back and forth in the sunlit room, her hooves sending creaks through the wooden floorboards. Applejack stood in place next to her with an expression that alternated between bewilderment and general annoyance. Still further to the side was Pinkie, who fidgeted awkwardly while doing her best to keep quiet. The second floor of the library closed in all around them, doors securely shut and windows bolted.

After another few cycles in silence, Twilight paused and shook her head. “No, it still doesn’t make any sense, no matter how you look at it.”

She looked over to the other side of the room. The large table had been pushed towards the far wall, the books cleared off it and replaced with several large plates of food. Rainbow Dash sat hunched over and stuffing her face with everything edible that was within reach. Several large tarps hung on the shelves behind her. Another one was over the closest window, while two more were on the floor beneath her.

“It’s like I told you already,” Dash said between gulps, “I flew up, I floated around a bit, and I fried to a crisp coming back down.”

Twilight sighed. “I heard what you told me, and I even saw a few of your little ‘reentry’ explosions–”

“Oh cool, you saw those down here?” Dash grinned. “I bet they looked awesome.”

“–and I don’t know how you did them. Because you would’ve had to fly a lot higher to break into orbit, and go a lot faster to burn up coming back down, to say nothing of the angle.”

Dash shrugged. “Hey, you can deny it all you want. I was the one doing it. There’s probably still one or two of me floating up there right now. Grab your telescope and see for yourself.”

Twilight gripped her forehead and sighed once more. “Look, let me break down how the atmosphere works–”

“Uh, Twilight?” Applejack raised an apprehensive hoof. “Can we skip the science lecture right now? I think we’ve got bigger problems to deal with.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, right, sorry. Rainbow Dash, I just– how could you do what you did today? After what we talked about last night? After you specifically told me how everything would be fine and nothing terrible or revealing would happen?”

“I think we both remember that conversation a little differently,” Dash said.

“An’ let’s not forget what happened in my kitchen!” Applejack chimed in. “I knew that water looked too murky to just be rusty. You still need to let me in on what exactly went down, ‘cause I need to know if I need to be expectin’ any chopped up surprises when I get back!”

“Have I said I think you guys are treating this whole thing the wrong way yet?” Pinkie asked, looking back and forth between Applejack and Twilight.

“Yeah, several times,” Applejack replied.

“Pinkie, please,” Twilight said, “this situation’s gotten too out of control already.”

Dash swallowed down another bite of her hay sandwich. She pointed at Twilight. “Alright look, in my defense, pretty much all of what happened today wasn’t even my fault. I mean, yeah, alright, maybe the stuff with me flying really high was all me. I’ll take that. And I guess I wouldn’t have been quite so gung-ho about that dragon without this little curse–”

Twilight’s eyes bugged out ever so slightly. “The dragon what now?”

“–but everything past that?” Dash continued. “Totally not me. That’s where I’m being a victim of circumstances, and believe me Twilight, I haven’t been having a lot of fun doing it.”

“No fun at all?” Pinkie cocked her head. “Not even a teensy little bit?”

“Well… alright, maybe here and there.” A smirk flashed across Dash’s face. “But it’s mostly just been irritating. So feel free to ease up off my back about this, because it’s not like I ever wanted or even asked to be in this situation to begin with. Also, thank you for the food. Did Spike make this?”

“He got really into lunch preparations today. You could thank him now, except he’s busy consoling a nearly catatonic Fluttershy.”

“Oooooh, right, her,” Dash winced. “Also not my fault. Although I think that counts more as bad luck on her part than any trouble with the curse. I hope she’s doing alright…”

“I think you can ease up a bit on passin’ the buck, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “Still, I suppose you’re right. Some magical blast comin’ out of nowhere to turn you into some kinda flyin’ death magnet will cause a number of nasty situations. She’ll, uh… she’ll be all right, won’t she Twilight?”

“Yes, yes, it’s just… hang on,” Twilight gestured to Pinkie and Applejack. “Come take a look at this book. I’ll try and explain things a little more.”

“Can I skip the explanation?” Dash asked. “You fill them in, I’ll keep working at the food here. Oh, nice, celery stalks. Good call.”

While Dash pulled the plate of greens in front of her and proceeded to chow down, Twilight led the other two ponies over to her desk on the far side of the room. There they found the little black book sitting open to a blank page. Twilight shot a small magical spark at it, causing the small lines of text to reappear. Pinkie let out a small whistle of admiration.

“Neat trick, Twilight,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve seen you do that one before. Which is weird, because I’ve seen you with books enough times you’d think it would’ve come up before.”

“This is the spellbook I mentioned earlier,” Twilight said.

“So this is the thing that’s been causing all the trouble?” Applejack leaned in to inspect the tome. “Seems awfully… new to be some collection of ancient evil.”

“I’m not entirely sure what it is. It seems to go out of its way to avoid being properly translated and identified. And when all this is over, I intend to do a full investigation as to where it came from and who wrote it. Something like this is way too dangerous to be able to appear out of nowhere.”

“Twilight, this really isn’t as bad as you seem to think it is,” Pinkie said. “Sure, it can get a little messy sometimes, but think of all the pranking possibilities! All those setups and pratfalls that were too dangerous before? Back in the game! And who says Nightmare Night only happens once a year? Well, everypony does, but that’s not important, since it’s only so far away now. So we could just stick with this for a liiiiiiitle longer, then bam! Time for the best night this town’s ever seen. Come on, we don’t get chances like this very often. We need to take advantage of it!”

“Come on Pinkie, be serious. This ain’t somethin’ to be foolin’ around with.” Applejack turned back to Twilight. “Why don’t you ask the Princess for help? I’m sure she’d love to lend a–”

“Anyway, I think I’ve got a solution to the problem,” Twilight said, hurriedly turning a few pages. “I’ve been studying this thing since last night, and it took a while to properly translate into anything coherent, but I think this section right here is the answer I’ve been looking for.”

“Wait, that little line by the top of the page, or the one that just floated in near the bottom?” Pinkie squinted at the open page of the black book.

“What language is this exactly?” Applejack asked. “Ain’t nothin’ I’ve ever seen before, that’s for sure.”

“It’s tricky to explain that. And no, not that one, Pinkie, I meant this one over– hang on, let me show you my notes. That might work better.” Twilight reached in a drawer and pulled out a notebook of her own. It was blanketed in frenzied scribbles and incantations, many of which had been crossed out just as messily.

Back at the table, Dash slid a particularly long and vibrant stalk down her throat. A moment later, her eyes widened and her breath stopped. She jabbed herself in the chest several times, working to get a breath out. After a few moments of this, she pulled herself against the table and rammed herself against it. Still nothing happened. Her face turned a dark shade of blue as she raised her hooves in an effort to get her friends’ attention. However, they remained busy with the book. Dash sighed, or rather tried to sigh, and continued to flail at her chest. After another moment, a new look of inspiration crossed her face. She turned and stared down at a spot on the floor and concentrated as best she could.

Her face continued to darken, and it wasn’t long before she collapsed onto the floor. A few slight gasps for air managed to escape her lips, and then she went silent. Her eyes rolled up, and her leg spasmed out in a few weak kicks.

Back at the book, the others finally turned around.

“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack shouted. “What’s wrong? Rainbow Dash?”

Before she could take a step forward, a *POP* ushered in the appearance of a new Dash at the edge of the tarp. She stared at her friends for a moment before shrugging.

“See? You guys gotta keep a closer eye on me or something.”

Applejack’s face paled as she fought to keep her composure. Twilight groaned. Pinkie hopped over with a smile on her face.

“What happened this time, Dashie?” Pinkie asked. She scooted over and down to get a closer look at Dash’s body. “Did you choke on something?”

“Looks like it. I can eat a little fast when I get hungry,” Dash said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. “Hang on, I got this…”

Dash extended her elbow and, with a sudden drop, slammed down onto her body’s chest. The head jerked up, and a thin green object launched out of her mouth onto the floor. It slid a full two meters, covered as it was in saliva and a few streaks of blood, before coming to a stop at Twilight’s hooves.

“Ugh, really Rainbow Dash?” Twilight’s horn lit up, and the object floated away. “I think that was one of Spike’s emerald sticks. He won’t be happy to hear one’s… gone missing. He loves those things.”

“Alright, so maybe that was my bad. I’ll get him a whole pack of them tomorrow, promise.” Dash raised a hoof in a solemn gesture. “And hey, Pinkie, guess what? I appeared back where I pictured I would. You were right about that. It totally worked.”

“I knew it!” Pinkie cheered and bumped hooves with Dash. “Awesome work, Rainbow Dash. Now, all we have to do is get some good planning in, and we can get right back out to town to–”

“Hold it!”

Dash, Pinkie, and Applejack turned to Twilight. She took a deep breath and leveled her horn with Dash.

“I think it’s time to end this,” she said. “I’ve been playing this spell over and over in my head since you arrived. I’m sure… I’m pretty sure it should do the trick and cure you.”

“Wait Twilight, there’s got to be time for just one more–” Pinkie was abruptly cut off as Applejack grabbed her and pulled her to one side.

Dash smiled at her, then pushed her corpse back and stood at the center of the tarp. “Well, alright Twilight. If you think you’ve got it, then lay it on me. I don’t want to waste any more of my day on this anyhow.”

Twilight nodded. “Okay, so just… hold still… and…”

Green sparks flashed around Twilight’s horn, followed by a large burst of solid light. It fired out in a single short burst that crossed the room and struck Dash square in the head. Dash braced herself for impact, only to not move in the slightest as the energy burst dissipated over her. Small twinkles of light surrounded her body for a few seconds, each of them going out one by one until they had all completely vanished.

For a few seconds, the group stood in silence. Dash glanced around her body, raising her wings and checking under her hooves.

“So, uh, Rainbow Dash… how ya feelin’?” Applejack asked. She moved away from Pinkie, who looked on eagerly.

“Um… the same? I think?” Dash looked at Twilight. “How should I be feeling?”

“Well, ideally, you should start feeling… well, anything at all,” Twilight said. She took several steps forward, studying Dash’s face closely as she leaned in. “I mean, if the spell worked, that means the curse is gone. Which means that numbness goes out along with it. So… do you feel anything?”

“Not really, no,” Dash said. “Maybe it takes a few minutes? Like, the feeling has to slowly come back to–”

And then Dash exploded. Her legs and neck burst open, spraying the surrounding floor with several pints of blood and shredded muscle tissue. Her back, gut, and face were next to burst and sputter into a fine putty. For a brief instant, a standing fleshless skeleton stood in Dash's place, until it too cracked and crumpled to the floor. In a single fleeting, gruesome moment, Dash was reduced to little more than a pile of red mulch, which lay resting at the epicenter of a deeply red and sticky circle. A soft mist of blood droplets hung in the air, along with a smattering of wayward feathers that somehow managed to escape intact.

One *POP* later, and a new Dash stood exactly where the old one was. She blinked several times, shaking her head to dislodge a feather that landed on her nose.

“Wait, what just happened?” She asked, glancing around at her remains. “Did I miss something?”

To one side, Applejack and Pinkie emerged from under the table. The gory residue hadn’t made it across the room to them, save for one of her entrails that almost made it, and they looked a little shaken but otherwise alright. Dash turned to Twilight and winced. Twilight’s head, chest, and front legs were completely coated in blood. A few strands of muscle hung from her mane, and what might’ve been a tooth was stuck to her cheek. She stared back at Dash, her expression neutral.

“Oooh, Twilight, you, uh…” Dash pointed to her face. “Got a little something there. You… uh… do you want a napkin or something?”

Twilight didn’t respond. Dash waved her hoof in front of Twilight’s face.

“Hey, Twilight? Uh… you feeling alright?” Dash asked.

After another pause, Twilight released a sharp breath and blinked.

“If you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to take a quick break,” she said, her tone blank and emotionless. Without another word, she turned and walked toward the bathroom door next to her desk.

“I think she stresses too much,” Dash said when the door shut.

“She made a good call on the tarps, though,” Pinkie pointed out. She glanced up to the hanging coverings, now far from their original blue color. While a few spots of floor had blood pools on them, as did a full shelf of books to one side, most of the damage was indeed contained to the covered area. She skipped over and kicked the spare piece of gut off the floor and onto the closest tarp.

“Yeah, that should make her happy once she clears her head.” Dash stepped out of the mess, wiping a hoof off to scrape away some chunks of what looked like her liver, and wandered back to the table. She smiled when she saw that a good portion of the food escaped without any extra red coloring.

“I worry about you two sometimes,” Applejack finally said. She held back a retch and avoided looking at the scene. Instead, she turned and looked Dash in the eyes. “Rainbow Dash, back in my kitchen… whatever did happen, I’m not sure I wanna know. Won’t make much difference beyond givin’ me more mental images I don’t want. What I do wanna know, however, is if there’s any… part of you left over in there. Last thing I need is Granny or Apple Bloom stumblin’ onto something.”

Dash thought for a moment.

“…no. There shouldn’t be anything else in the kitchen. Maybe a puddle or two, but that’s all. For sure.” Dash glanced shiftily to one side. “As for your yard… look, I’ll help you clean up and dig when we’re all done here.”

“Dig what?” Applejack stood back and shook her head. “Actually, you know what? Never mind, we’ll get to that later. The rest of the family isn’t due back until tonight anyway, an’ I cleaned up as best I could after you left an’ before I found Fluttershy. Right now… I think it’s safe to say we’ve got a new mess to worry about.”

“Where do you think Spike keeps the mops?” Pinkie asked. She moved around the room, circling the bloody spots and making sure to keep her hooves from trotting in it.

“I’m more worried about this right now, to be honest.” Dash kicked at her choked corpse. It was close to where she had erupted into a bloody purée, and was therefore covered in a thick layer of innards and blood.

“Yeah, that we gotta get on,” Applejack said. “The tarps we can roll up an’ toss, but this will be a little trickier. Can’t just stuff that into a trash can an’ move on.”

“Says you,” Dash muttered. She avoided Applejack’s look and quietly chewed on a sandwich.

“Hmmm…” Pinkie scratched her chin. “Where do you think Spike keeps the carving knives?”

“I think we can just move it.” Applejack took a few tentative steps forward, taking deep breaths as she studied the corpse. “Dunno where we’re supposed to put it, though. An’ I don’t want it endin’ up anywhere that’ll just make Twilight more upset.”

“Oh, it can go in the basement,” Dash said. “There’s a few more of me down there now anyway. Just grab a leg and we can get it down there in no time.”

“Lemme take a stab at it,” Pinkie said. She leaned down and kicked the corpse forward. It slid under the table, coming to a rest next to Applejack.

“Hey, careful with me, Pinkie,” Dash said. “Well, not that that’s the worst I’ve been treated today, but still…”

“That was… actually a pretty solid kick there, Pinkie.” Applejack let out an impressed nod. “Very nice form.”

Pinkie beamed. “I’ve been moving a lot of big flour bags for the Cakes lately. They’re about the same size, and also good and squishy. So same idea, except you really don’t want to bake anything with something like this.”

Dash twitched, causing a plate to clatter to the floor. She crouched under the table to retrieve it and the rolls that had fallen off with it.

Applejack nodded. “Right, right. Still, Rainbow’s right, we gotta be careful.”

Tenderly, Applejack scooped up Dash’s body. She had a good grip under her legs, even if the blood made for a slippery grab. “We don’t wanna make too much of a ruckus sneakin’ this downstairs. Remember, we gotta do this without alertin’ the others about what–”

The door to the room swung open. Spike walked in at a calm pace, a small parchment clutched in one claw.

“I don’t know what you guys are doing up here, but Twilight, you got a letter from… from…” Spike trailed off. His eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. Applejack stared back in surprise, letting Dash’s body flop out from her embrace and back onto the floor.

“…now just stay calm, Spike, this ain’t what–”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Spike screamed and jerked sideways, doing his best to avoid being too close to Applejack or Dash’s corpse.

Dash poked her head up from under the table. “Huh? Oh, hey Spike–”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! ZOMBIE!” Spike screamed again and zigzagged across the room. Suddenly a purple flash stopped his path, and a half-clean Twilight stood before him.

“Just wait a second, Spike!” Twilight pleaded. Spike’s eyes somehow grew even wider as he looked at her blood-smeared features. His gaze shifted from her to the pile of organs to the blood-covered body to the exasperated ponies. He continued to scream until a small purple cover descended over his lips. A second cover wrapped over him, and Twilight levitated him a half-meter into the air. He struggled back and forth against the magical embrace, working to free himself and continue wailing as best he could.

“What happened out here?” Twilight asked, her head working to stay still against Spike’s wriggling body.

“It was an accident!” Pinkie said.

“An’ it wasn’t our fault!” Applejack added. “He just walked in on us.”

“I thought I locked that door…” Twilight reached up to clutch her forehead.

Dash looked around the room. “Wait, wasn’t Spike supposed to be with–”

“Spike? W-what’s g-going on?”

The soft patter of Fluttershy’s hooves approaching in the hall made everypony freeze once more. Heads turned to meet the pegasus as she stepped into the doorframe. The only sound in the air was a stray drop of blood falling from one of the shelves.

As wide as Spike’s eyes were, they had nothing on Fluttershy’s. She took one steady look around the room, blinked, and turned to flee the tree so fast her scream had to catch up to her.

“You know, she can really move when she wants to,” Pinkie said. She hopped over to the window in time to see a yellow blur speed around the corner at the end of the block. She waved, but the stunned ponies standing around the street failed to notice her.

Pinkie’s comment snapped Spike out of his trance, and he resumed his squirming. Twilight wavered back and forth, her mouth stammering as she search for the right words. “Spike, it’s not… look, what I mean to say is… uh, see, it’s only just a… uh…”

Dash sighed and walked over. With one hoof in the air to silence Twilight, she moved in and stared Spike in the eye.

“Spike, I’m not a zombie, or any other weird thing. I’m still me. I just got a nasty curse out of that book over there–” she pointed to the book with her wing “–and it makes me get into ugly accidents and die. Frequently. But then I come back and I’m fine. Also, I can’t feel pain at all. Also also, I ate one of your emerald stick thingies. Sorry about that. Point is, I’m fine, Twilight’s working on a magical cure, and we all just need to chill.”

Spike froze, his mind working through Dash’s statement. Finally, after a few seconds of contemplation, he gently raised a claw into the air and motioned Twilight to place him on the floor. Once free of her magical hold, he brushed himself off, and turned to Twilight.

“You see what I was talking about?” he asked with an exasperated sigh. “I could really do without surprises like this. Especially ones that I’ll probably have to clean up later.”

“I tried to find the mop!” Pinkie said. “I don’t know where you guys keep them.”

“Third cupboard in the basement.” Spike scratched his forehead. “Come to think of it, I’ve been locked out of the basement since yesterday… is that because of this too?”

Dash nodded. “Yeah, it was, uh, getting a little crowded down there.”

Spike gulped. He glanced at the blood spray on the shelves and shuddered. His eyes swept down towards Dash’s corpse, but he thought better of it and diverted his attention to the book on the desk.

“So this book you’ve been studying since yesterday… what’s the deal with it?” Spike asked. Applejack shook her head while Dash rolled her eyes and Twilight sighed.

“I… don’t know.” Twilight hung her head. “I thought I had figured out something that might work, but well…”

“It didn’t,” Dash said. She grunted and walked past Spike up to the desk. “It’s not your fault, Twilight. So don’t start blaming yourself. It’s this stupid book that caused all the trouble. It comes out of nowhere, freaks up in some magical fit, stumps you, and curses me.”

“I don’t reckon I can figure it out,” Applejack said, resting a hoof on Twilight’s back. “But if anypony can figure this out, you can Twilight.”

Pinkie scooted over wearing a large smile on her face. “Yeah Twilight. You can take on any magical doohickey, no matter where it comes from. Always have, always will!”

“Especially now that you’re going to let me help,” Spike added. He prodded Twilight in her leg, quickly wiping away the flecks of blood that scraped off. “I mean, you’re going to let me help now, right? Cat’s out of the bag and everything, so no point in keeping it a secret from me.”

Twilight sighed again, but managed to work out a small smile. “Thanks everypony. I really am trying. I… I just don’t know. That book’s really stumping me.”

“It was probably written up just to confuse ponies like you,” Dash said. She glared down at the open pages, which presently appeared blank. “That would make sense, wouldn’t it? Gives up a spell to ruin somepony’s day, then up and erases itself whenever anypony tries to get some answers out of it. Somepony’s stupid, cruel idea of a joke. It just… uggh, what a day!”

Dash grunted in frustration and slammed a hoof down on the desk. Twilight opened her mouth to protest, only to be cut off by a booming voice that filled the library all at once.

“WATCH THAT HOOF!”

For the third time that afternoon, the occupants of the room froze in place. Eyes shot all around the room, searching for the source of the mysterious outburst. Before anypony could speak, the floor began to tremble beneath their hooves, followed by the desks and shelves. Spike nervously grabbed at Twilight’s leg, while Dash backed up next to Applejack and crouched into a defensive posture.

“What’s happening?” Spike asked. “Twilight, did you–”

“Look!” Pinkie pointed at the book. A small green glow surrounded it, and as the others watched, it lifted itself off the table and hovered in the air. It leveled out high above their heads, spine facing the floor and both covers wide open. The pages brushed themselves back and forth, like a breeze passing through them from every direction. Then all at once they stopped in place. The edges of every page ripped themselves free of the binding, forming a mass of floating pages just over the book. Moving under their own power now, the loose leaf pages rolled and molded themselves together into three long, wavy strands. One end of each strand attached itself to the now-empty shell of the book, while the other end reached down to touch the floor.

The glow vanished. The strange creation loomed over the group, leaning gracefully on its tripod legs. Up at its head, the black covers pivoted in Dash’s direction.

“Right! I’ve had enough of this. Nothing but complain, complain, complain and blame, blame, blame!” it said in that same strange voice, albeit now at a much lower volume. “You’d think I’d actually killed one of you for real or something. You’ve got no reason to resort to physical abuse here.”

Twilight was the first to speak. “What… what are you? What’s going on?”

“And what are you getting mad at us for?” Dash snapped. “You’re the one who caused all the trouble today you big… little… book thing!”

One of the paper tentacles whipped out towards Dash, snapping loudly in just in front of her nose. Dash instinctively retreated several steps.

“Oh right, like I’m the one who made you decide to spend the day out, about, and generally acting irresponsible. You’re lucky I didn’t just leave you floating up there. And you should be thanking me after that display I let you have when you came back down!” The book adopted a mocking tone in addressing Dash, then turned to Twilight. “And you! Just how in Equestria can you be so impossibly thick? Always moaning about trying to translate me, thinking I was trying to hide it all from you… please. If anything, I tried to assist you when I could. Do you know nothing about old world grammar structure and syntax? I might as well have been scribbling things out to some foal. I swear, Mystar would roll over in his excessively lavish mausoleum if he found out I ended up with the likes of you.”

“Hey, back off!” Applejack shouted. “You don’t get to talk to her like that! Just who do you think you are?”

Pinkie hopped forward with a scowl on her face. “Yeah, what gives? No book can talk to Twilight like that! Especially not a book that can actually talk!”

“Ooh, the pink one, good, good.” The book’s tone noticeably brightened. The tentacle reached over to pat her on the head, though she scooted back before it got too close.

“Uh, what did I do?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“At least you tried to keep the right sort of attitude about all of this,” the book said. It gestured to the others. “Try as they might to keep you down. Good show, keep it up.”

“Hey!” Twilight’s shout made the book whirl around in her direction. It faced her just in time to catch the purple burst of energy headed its way. With a shifty hop and slide, it managed to dodge the magical beam, which dissipated onto the wall behind it in a slight black burn.

“What did I just say about the abuse?” the book cried.

“We want answers!” Twilight shouted back to it. “What are you? Who created you? Why are you doing this to us?”

A tentacle reached up to point at the book. “Me? Doing this? You’re just blaming the messenger here. I just did what I was made to do, thanks completely to your magical energy and comically inept translation skills. Speaking of which, what is with this modern tongue of yours? So lazy, yet wordy, it just… ugh. Makes my pages curl, I can tell you.”

“You’re still the one speakin’ it,” Applejack said.

“Yeesh, you’re the worst of the lot. Like listening to a cat fall into a grinding mill… actually, that would be pretty funny. Hang on, let me think of a better example.”

The book lowered its head in concentration, taking a moment to casually dodge another shot from Twilight’s horn.

“Uh, Twilight? Shouldn’t we be trying to do something other than destroy it right now?” Spike asked.

“I’m just trying to get a grip on the thing,” Twilight said. “If I can do that, maybe I can–”

“Stop!” The book put a tentacle in the air. Couple with the authoritative echo in its voice, Twilight stumbled on her next attempt. Her magic fizzled before it left her horn. The paper leg arced over and pointed at Spike.

“What is that doing here?”

“I live here. You’re the one butting in!” Spike shot back.

“Dragons? With ponies? Have we finally enslaved them?” The book scratched its non-existent chin. “Huh. Well, that’s a dozen or so centuries of progress for you I supp– whoa!”

Applejack and Dash, moving swiftly while the book concentrated on Spike, executed a quick attack on the spindly paper appendages. Applejack went low, springing out in a fierce tackle to grab at two of the legs, while Dash took to the air to swoop in from on high. The three individuals collapsed into a heap on the floor. Applejack struggled to keep the legs in her grasp while Dash kept the covers in a vicious headlock.

“Alright, enough of this!” Dash squeezed as tight as he could, keeping the book’s spine right under her elbow. “Hurry up and fix me so we can deal with getting rid of you.”

The free tentacle waved back and forth through the air, gaining length with each frenzied slash. It narrowly missed cutting through Pinkie’s cheek, and Twilight had to duck out of the way moments before it got to her neck. Spike backpedaled towards the door, tripping over a fallen book and falling into the hall. The tentacle closed the door in front of him, slamming it with enough force to knock a few more books off the high shelves.

“I’m losin’ my grip here!” Applejack looked over to Twilight. “Come on Twilight, give us a hoof here! Or a magical field or somethin’!”

Twilight nodded and aimed her horn. Before she could fire, the tentacle swung back around for a second pass. Though it missed her again, it disrupted her concentration just enough to cause her to aim at Applejack instead. A purple force field grabbed the pony and tossed her to the other side of the room, where she sat trapped in a small bubble.

“Come on, Twilight!” Applejack said, pounding on the purple field to no avail.

The book, now with all of its writhing tentacles free, reached up and wrapped around Dash’s body. Two pulled her legs off the book, while the third wrapped around her neck. It flexed in and squeezed, flashing off a faint green glow in the process. The paper dug deep into Dash’s throat, and she scrambled with her hooves to push it off while still trying to draw in a breath. Her eyes went wide, then bug-eyed, and finally they popped out of their sockets all-together. Hanging on thin red strands, they dangled by her chin while the tentacle squeezed even tighter. The other tentacles switched places, gripping around her shoulders and pulling down simultaneously.

A faint cracking sound emerged from her neck, and then her entire head lifted upwards. The top of her ribs pressed against the paper wraps, then, with an even louder crack, her spine popped out, still attached to the base of her skull. The broken remnants of her rib cage fell forward within her chest, taking most of her major organs with it. Her wings drooped and her back shifted in place as blood worked its way to fill the cavity within and cascade out the top. Her head and spine, meanwhile, were tossed against the far wall. They slid to the floor, coiling around like some large red and teal snake. Somewhere along the way, one of her eyeballs broke free of its anatomic connection, and rolled off to parts unknown. Its twin stayed in place, now wrapped partially around Dash’s outstretched tongue and stuck against her chin.

“Hehe, never gets old.” The book chuckled, ignoring the *POP* behind it and a very cross-looking Dash standing back in place. Instead, it turned to the others, all of whom wore sickly expressions. Now hovering in the air, it snapped its blood-soaked tentacles in succession. The red streaks vanished, and it was back to having three stark-white appendages. It snapped them again, and a misty green wall moved out to engulf the room in front of it. Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack could only watch as the emerald wave engulfed them and knocked them back against the wall.

“Hey, what’d you do now?” Dash flared her wings and tried to take off, only for the book to drive all three of its tentacles straight through her skull. Her speech was reduced to a sputtering batch of broken syllabus, and her eyes drooped in turn. Her jaw sagged open, and a small puddle of drool and blood gathered on the floor beneath her.

“Shhhhhh…” the book waved Dash back and forth. It twitched one paper leg, making Dash’s legs shoot up and her wings fold back in. A few more twitches, and Dash was walking across the floor, moving in step with ever prod of her motor control center and losing brain cells by the minute.

“Haven’t practiced this in ages, so I’m sorry if I’m a little rusty. Still, one never forgets the basics.” With a quick flex of movement, Dash’s wings popped open and she flew into the air, the long paper strands still sticking out of the top of her head. She flew face first into a high shelf, taking a piece of hard oak right to the mouth. Some of her teeth managed to fall out the side, but most of them were shoved back into her throat, the ripped roots shredding her tongue to bits along the way. Finally the book sighed, tossed her hard to the ground, and pulled itself free. A red geyser burst out of the resulting hole, and a series of wild twitches ran up and down Dash’s broken body.

“Now then, since I can tell I’m clearly not wanted here, I believe I’ll be on my way.” The book took a look around the room, gave a quick bow, and hustled for the door. The other three ponies, still woozy from the magical blast, struggled to right themselves. Meanwhile, Dash continued to bleed out in the corner, her body still technically alive.

The door to the library snapped open. Spike tumbled forward, having been pressed against the wood in an effort to push it opened. A tentacle quickly shot out and grabbed his legs.

“Hey, lemme go! Put me down!” he shouted in protest as he was lifted up into the air, swinging upside down level with the book.

The book pulled him in close, studying him through the folds of its black covers. “Hmmmm… an enslaved baby dragon. Truly extraordinary.”

It hoisted Spike higher in the air and turned around. “I’m gonna borrow this, alright? I’ll get it back to you… well, I’ll owe you, how about that? Gotta be plenty of these little guys running around anyway if somepony like you ended up with one.”

“Spike!” Twilight sprang to her hooves, brushing aside her disorientation. Her horn lit up in a bright purple light, and she aimed straight at the book. “Freeze! You’re not going anywh–”

Suddenly, like a shadow under a spotlight, Twilight vanished into thin air. The book laughed again.

“Yeah, you all enjoy this. Don’t say I never did anything for you!” The book gave one final bow and ducked out the door. Spike continued to try and break free of its grip, only to be enclosed in a small green bubble that froze him in place. The book scurried down the hall, moving lightly on its now-softened paper tips. In a few moments it was down the stairs, out the front door, and promptly vanished into the late-afternoon light of the outside world.

Back upstairs, Pinkie was the first to rise, albeit in a very haphazard fashion.

“Twilight! Hey, Twilight! Where’d ya go?” her head spun in every direction as she stumbled about. She reached a hoof out towards where Twilight last stood, but a misplaced back leg sent her tumbling back down. However, her hoof kept right on reaching out. Before she knew what was happening, Pinkie’s foreleg stretched clear across the room like a giant pink fire hose. Pinkie blinked, glanced over at her other foreleg, and reached towards a shelf high on the wall. The leg extended in turn until it reached the target.

A glint passed through Pinkie’s eyes, and she grinned.

Applejack rubbed her eyes. “Alright, I think I’m still a bit groggy over here. Head’s definitely makin’ me see some… unsettlin’ things.”

“Don’t worry Applejack, I got your back here.” Pinkie giggled and redirected her noodle legs towards Applejack’s head. “A few nice headrubs and you’ll be good as new!”

Pinkie patted Applejack’s head once, twice, three times, and off her head fell. It was a clean break, like pulling the head off a doll, leaving neither a scratch nor spot of blood on Applejack’s body. It rolled across the room, finally coming to a stop face down in front of Dash’s still twitching hoof.

Pinkie frowned, her outstretched leg still patting the space recently occupied by Applejack’s head.

“…yup, definitely seein’ some strange things,” Applejack’s head said. Back at her body, a hoof reached up, only to find empty air where the head should’ve been. “Uh… anypony else suddenly gone really numb? An’ also just seein’ a lot of brown where the library should be?”

Dash’s body kicked one final time, complete with a last spurt of blood out of her mouth, and went still. One *POP* later, and a new stood Dash awkwardly by herself.

“Uh… what?” Dash looked back and forth between Applejack’s bodyless head, her headless body, and Pinkie’s newfound limberness.

“I don’t know!” Pinkie said. She hopped up, her legs quickly receding back to their usual length and nearly throwing her balance off again. Working through the stumble, Pinkie rushed over to Applejack’s body. “I just touched her head a few times and then it was over there! Only she still seems to think she’s over here. Hey Applejack! How do you feel?”

“Why? What’s wrong with me? An’ why can’t I see anythin’? Or feel anythin’?” Applejack’s head rocked back and forth as she spoke. “Getting’ a bit tough to breath here, too.”

Slowly, Dash reached out and flipped Applejack’s head around.

“Ah, thanks for… that…” Applejack trailed off as she looked over at herself. Back at her body, her hooves moved with a renewed vigor as she tried to feel for her head.

“What in tarnation… my head’s off!” Applejack’s body leapt to her hooves, shoving Pinkie back in the process. Pinkie reached out to stop her fall, sending her leg length back out until she was grabbing at the top of the doorframe.

“Just relax, Applejack! Everything, uh, everything… uh…” Dash searched for words as she hovered up in the air.

“Just another magical brouhaha Applejack, no worries!” Pinkie assured her friend. She reached a hoof out to pat Applejack’s foreleg. Much like the head, it abruptly fell off, again leaving no mark on Applejack’s body to ever indicate there was a leg there to begin with.

Pinkie stared hard at her hoof. “I guess I should ease up on doing that for a little while.”

“I’ll say!” Applejack’s detached leg flopped around on the floor, while her body worked to keep itself steady. “Anypony mind tryin’ to get me back together here?”

“I got it, I got it…” Dash flew down and scooped up Applejack’s head. “Okay, lemme just… uh, well, I guess if I just put it where it needs to go, it’ll…”

Dash placed the head back on the body. It reattached itself immediately, with Applejack’s neck popping back into place like it was never gone. She flexed her jaw and shook her head back and forth.

“Yeesh, always some magical nonsense comin’ our way.” She glanced down to the floor. “Anypony see where my leg went?”

“I’m looking for it! If it’s already off, I can’t do any more damage, right?” Pinkie gave a quick nod and dropped down to move around the floor. She extended her legs in front and behind her to further her search field, becoming a kind of stretchy, four-legged, and very pink spider.

“Pinkie… please stop doing that. It’s weirding me out,” Dash said. “Also, her leg is right there.”

Pinkie turned to her right, and found Dash was right. She grinned sheepishly and reached for it, only to be knocked aside by Twilight’s abrupt reappearance.

“–ere with Spike, so just don’t… even… try?” Twilight’s thunderous shout quickly tapered off as she surveyed the scene around her. “…really? All in the second it took me to stand up?”

“You were gone for a few minutes,” Applejack said while Pinkie reattached her leg. “An’ as you can see, I think that book fella left us all with a little partin’ gift.”

“Also, weren’t you charging some kind of magical laser thingie when you stood up?” Pinkie asked. She looped her leg around her head twice and pointed to Twilight’s horn. “See? You’re still glowing.”

“I’m still wha– oh!” Twilight looked up, suddenly aware of the purple field above her eyes. No sooner has she seen it then it released with all the built up energy, sending a solid ray of velvet out into the room. It struck Dash through one shoulder, cut a clean, crisp hole through her skin, fried her lungs and heart to quick blackened crisps, and exited out her other shoulder with enough energy left to turn a shelf of books into a puddle of ash.

“Whoops, sorry,” Twilight said when the new Dash appeared over the still-smoking one.

“No biggie.” Dash waved it off and glanced down at her fresh corpse. The hole through her had fused on entry, making it a remarkably bloodless affair. “That’s a pretty strong shot you’ve got there.”

“Never mind that now,” Applejack said. “What are we gonna do? Some evil book’s come to life, snatched Spike, disappeared to Celestia knows where, and now the lot of us seem to be experiencin’ some weird collection of magical illnesses!”

Twilight paced back and forth, her eyes fixed in concentration. She muttered softly to herself, her pace taking her in a wide loop around the rest of the group. Finally she paused next to one of Dash’s corpses and looked up.

“I know what to do. Because I know where that thing’s headed.”

Pinkie leaned in expectedly. “Ooh, are we at the part of the adventure where we have to go out and face the baddie down on its home turf already?”

“In more ways than one, Pinkie.” Twilight took a deep breath. “We need to go to Canterlot. Right now.”

Dash raised an eyebrow. Pinkie squealed and clapped her hooves together. Applejack stepped forward, only for a very large book that had been teetering on a high shelf for quite some time to fall forward and strike her on the back of the head. It popped off again and dropped to the floor, leaving her body stuck in a lurch to try and find herself.

“Ooh, it wasn’t my fault that time. Although I wonder why my Pinkie Sense didn’t catch that…” Pinkie scratched her chin. She watched Applejack’s head roll towards the wall, muttering profanities all the way.

Twilight clutched her head and sighed. “I hope we get this one wrapped up soon. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”