Chapter 8: Lunch in Equestria

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

Leaving behind Big Mac and Zecora, Rainbow Dash had made her way into the post office. Her mission was clear: to find the pony who had given Ditzy that package, whoever this pony in black was. A small bell jingled and a creaking of age-old hinges welcomed her as she opened the front door. The inside was a scene of absolute chaos, far worse than what appeared on the outside. Piles and piles of mail were stacked so high and in such long rows she could have believed it possible to lose an adult dragon among them. Several pegasi ran or flew back and forth in dizzying patterns attempting to try and sort out as much of the mess as possible, a critical shortage of capable hooves doomed their punitive efforts, however.

“Hello, my name is Penny Post, can I help you?” said a gray pegasus mail carrier with yellow eyes and a copper mane. Apart from the hair color, and the fact her eyes didn’t spin like free-falling clouds, Penny resembled Ditzy Doo so much that Dash was almost convinced that the two were related somehow.
.

“Oh my gosh, you’re Rainbow Dash!” Penny gasped and then hopped in delight, “I saw your amazing air work at the ‘Young Fliers Competition’ in Cloudsdale. You were so awesome!” Penny squealed with such raw joy that Dash couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

“Yup, that’s me.”

“Oh! Oh! Can I have your autograph?” Penny reached into her post bag and extracted a blank shipping form and a quill pen.

“Sure!” Dash proudly obliged and signed the blank side of the form. No pony had ever asked for her autograph before so she had to make sure this one was an extra twenty percent more special than just her regular signature. So she adorned it with a cursive form she invented on the spot, decorating it with a superfluous amount of curls and swirly patterns.

“Ohhh, my friends are going to be, like, so jealous.” Penny hugged the signed paper like it was a check for a million bits.

“It’s all in a day’s work for the greatest flier in all Ponyville. No, in all of Equestria!” Dash was swollen with pride, she pumped her chest out and held her head high.

“Thank you, thank you!” the postal mare happily tucked the paper away for safekeeping, “So, how can I help you today, Rainbow Dash?”

“I’m just curious about a package I saw Ditzy carrying earlier.”

“Oh, you mean the one tied with the golden thread?” Dash nodded, “That’s easy, it was sent by Mr. Ledger, one of Celestia’s supervisors. He comes here all the time for the mail.”

“Doesn’t Celestia have her own mail carriers in the castle already? Why doesn't he use them?”

“Sure he does, but to be honest the gossip on the street is that Ledger has a thing for Ditzy. He always specifically requests her when he has to ship some mail. I don’t know why he tries to hide himself under a black hood and cape since every pegasus here knows who he is. He’s probably just shy,” Penny concluded, sighed wistfully and clutching her arms to her cheek, “it’s so romantic.”

“Blegh,” Dash stuck her tongue out in disgust, “I just want to find out what he wanted Ditzy to deliver?”

“Hmm, I think I overheard him say something about a book. It seemed rather important since he gave Ditzy royal permission to get out of the city. Normally I don’t get involved in or talk about another pony’s mail, but there was just something totally weird about it.”

“Weird? What do you mean?”

“Well,” Penny leaned towards Dash with a hushed whisper, “when I got a close look at it I felt like something was off about it, y’know? It’s hard to explain; it’s like, when I saw it I felt as if something was looking back at me. It gave me the heebie jeebies.”

“Did you see anything unusual happen to Ditzy?” Dash felt a chill down her spine at the memory.

“It was just a creepy feeling, that’s all. Are you saying something has happened to Ditzy Doo?”

“No!” All eyes present shot towards Dash, their owners startled at the sudden outburst from the tomboy mare. Dash felt her cheeks heat once again in embarrassment under the scrutiny, “No, she’s perfectly fine, um, thanks for your help!” She turned and made a hasty exit.

“Okay,” Penny flinched at the mare’s awkward behavior, “please do come again. The Canterlot Residential Post Office is always open for your shipping and postage needs.”

Outside, Dash soaked in the cool breeze as it washed away her heated humiliation. Big Mac and Zecora remained unmoving from where she had last left them. She was thankful that they had shown the patience to wait for her Dash explained what she’d learned and all three continued their trek towards the castle.

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

Twilight Sparkle gave a lazy yawn when she gazed out the window at the beautiful midday sun as it shined over Ponyville. Just another normal beautiful afternoon in Equestria, only to her it wasn’t. The sunlight caressed and warmed her aching body, yet failed to sooth her unease. There was something inside her that had begun to eat away at the edges of her consciousness, a sort of emptiness. It made sleep more tempting than ever, but it was past noon and she had made a promise to help out Applejack with some farming chores after lunch time. Hoping the unrest would eventually sort itself out she went about her daily routine, albeit with a little more haste than usual. She cleaned herself up and changed her bandages, before finally turning to nudge Spike out of his bed.

She looked upon the chubby little dragon all nestled snugly in his bed, sucking contently on a half eaten ruby. The covers rose and fell under his measured breathing; his easy snoring told her that he was dreaming of something pleasant. Maybe it was about him wooing Rarity or something else as equally rambunctious. Even though Twilight had told him all about the conflict with the necromorphs in the mines, she saw he was unable, or unwilling, to fully appreciate the severity of what had transpired. Though to be fair, if any other pony had told her about this gathering threat she would’ve regarded it as a morbid fabrication at best, or a case of flagrant exaggeration at worst, at least until sufficient evidence was presented. The itching on her cheek and the bandages on her body turned out to be all the evidence she needed now. Twilight left her assistant to rest and headed down the stairs, content to let her companion sleep for a little while longer; just a few more minutes of peaceful innocence.

She had wandered into the kitchen, a rumble in her stomach, deciding that a good lunch is just what she needed to lift her spirits and confident that Spike and Isaac would both similarly appreciate it too. Isaac’s helmet was still on the table where she’d left it, and it raised an interesting question.

“What exactly do humans eat, anyway?” She asked aloud to nopony in particular.

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

“Achoo, achoo!” Isaac sneezed an answer to a sudden intense irritation in his nose. He bolted suddenly upright and erect, sending an eruption of pillows and feathery down flying everywhere. Freed from the pillow prison, the first thing he noticed was how unnaturally bright the room was. He soon realized that it was not the sun shining in his face, every object around him was done up in bright, smooth, and vibrant pastel colors. It was all so lively and cheerful looking that it immediately put him on edge. The last time he’d been in a place like this he’d been ambushed by hordes of exploding baby necromorphs crawling out of the very walls. This led inexorably to the second thing he noticed: that he was still stuck in la-la land and continued to lack the normal human extremities.

He sat for a few minutes trying to carefully examine his surroundings and listening for signs of danger. He found himself deposited in a bedroom of sorts, with the bed carved directly into the wall. The room was irregularly shaped, made entirely out of wood, and had a faint, sweet smell of tree sap. Opposite from him was a small desk, below a single circular window, with stacks of blank paper, an ink bottle, and a cup of quill pens placed upon it. Any left over space on the walls were covered in shelves that held a massive array of books covering an even more impressive array of topics; ‘The Complete Equestrian Guide to Mythical Creatures and Supernatural Entities,’ ‘Sleepovers 101,’ ‘A Unicorn’s Thesis on the Nature of Magic and the Flow of Energies,’ and, ‘Advanced Quantum Mechanics and You,’ were just a sampling of the categories held here. The last two books especially caught his attention, but they’d have to wait for another time.

One of the room’s two doors was ajar and headed into what appeared to be a bathroom. Isaac felt incredibly stiff and gritty from having spent a whole night inside his exo-suit and was looking forward to a hot shower. The restroom was well stocked with all the sorts of toiletries and accessories that went with a well planned household.
“Something is wrong here.” He told himself when he realized just how ‘human’ the bedroom and bathroom had appeared. Almost every single object was easily recognizable; lamps, a toothbrush, combs, sink, medicine cabinet, and bathtub. Even the toilets, with the bowls built into the floor, were similar to those he’d seen while serving a stint on a Japanese-built frigate. It gave him an ominous foreboding, he was stuck in an alien reality; logically he had expected that they’d do things at least little differently here.

He didn’t feel comfortable taking the suit off here, but he couldn’t wear it forever. There was a hiss of air as Isaac triggered the suit’s manual release, a switch seated just below the triangle shaped holographic projector that stuck out from his chest. If the suit had power the switch would’ve been magnetically locked to prevent an accidental release. With the seal broken air was allowed to flow into the hermetically locked suit, filling air bladders behind the chest armor and the rig on his back. This allowed the skin tight suit to ‘unfold’ and hang from Isaac’s frame like an oversized bag of burlap, allowing it to easily slide down off of his body.

Carefully putting it aside he went to examine himself in the mirror, one glimpse confirmed everything he’d feared. The thing looking back at him was definitely not human, but rather a gray colored pony with short black hair. Everything about its face was wrong; the ears were too big and too high, the nose was too low, the blue eyes seemed monstrously huge, and it even sported a five o’clock shadow. He couldn’t remember if horses had facial hair - he was pretty sure it didn’t grow like this even if they did.

The parade of discoveries didn’t end at his face, a full examination of his body revealed a pair of new problems. He closed his eyes and in his mind’s eye traced down his spine, along the path of nerves and muscles, looking for the new connections. He found them and concentrated at moving them, flexing and contracting. With a little effort he had managed to fully extend a pair of wings. His face was twisted with indecision, an ambivalent expression. On one hand a part of him felt in awe at his new feathery appendages and wanted to test them out to see if they actually worked. On another hand his engineer’s proficiency told him that in no way, no scientific discipline, could such fragile things ever work on someone his size and weight.

By this point, after realizing he’d broken into a cold sweat, there came a rising panic that gripped his stomach, making him feel incredibly nauseous. He broke away from the mirror and steadied himself over the sink, just in case, while taking slow deep breaths.

“Okay,” he tried to reassure himself, “it’ll be fine. I’m fine.”

“I don’t think so.”

He felt a pair of hands close around his throat, tight and unyielding, choking the air out of him while his head was jerked upwards to once again stare at the mirror, his whole body lifted off the ground. He saw himself, no, his human self, emerged halfway through the mirror and looking at him with an expression of complete repugnance and glass-eyed insanity.

“Our diseased brain brought us into a world of magical talking ponies. Does that sound… fine to you?”
Isaac struggled in vain to break his own hold on his neck while his doppelganger laughed maniacally at himself. His legs dangled uselessly and even his wings were flapping in rebellion. It was useless, his big fingerless hooves just couldn’t gain leverage around the fingers at his throat so, instead, he brought his arms up and punched his mirror self several times across the jaw. His strength was quickly fading and the choke hold failed to weaken.

“You’re only hurting yourself, Isaac.”

“No,” Isaac croaked, “you are not me.”

“Then what am I? Just a hallucination? Perhaps I’m the real one and you’re the imposter, the disease that haunts my mind.”

“Go to hell!” There was a loud crack of glass as Isaac’s head slammed into the mirror. The impact left a spider web like tapestry of slivers throughout the surface. The frightful presence was gone and once again left only his pony-fied self reflecting back at him, but no less taunting. He felt rattled, his whole body shaking as hopelessness took over. He reared his head back and shot it forward. A second, even louder, crash of glass echoed throughout the room as he smashed the mirror again, pieces falling into the sink and on the ground. He followed up with a third strike and then a forth, by now the mirror was completely and utterly destroyed. Several blood trails flowed from his cut forehead down and around his nose to gather at his chin, falling to form a small puddle on the floor.

He didn’t care about any of that; he hated this place and what it had done to him. He just wanted to go home, go back to Earth. To return to the way things were before he discovered that damed Red Marker, before the love of his life was taken from him.

“Damn it, Nicole. Why did you have to leave?”

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

Twilight gave a contented sigh as she inhaled and delighted in all the pleasant fragrances that filled the dining room. Unsure as to what her unusual guest would find pleasing for lunch she had pulled out all the stops and cooked up a little of everything. The table was filled with all sorts of simple culinary delights. Among them were daisy and daffodil sandwiches, whole apples, apple fritters (her favorites), apple sauce, bowls of oats and barley, a bowl of salad, hay fries, nuts, chips, scrambled eggs, and finishing off the meal were glasses of milk, soda, tea, orange juice, apple juice, and coffee; and that was just the first course.

Her preparations finished, Twilight was heading upstairs to roost her guest out of bed when she suddenly heard multiple abrupt instances of shattering glass. Galloping upstairs, she didn’t bother to knock before hurdling into the guest bedroom, she didn’t see Isaac. The restroom door was open, however, and from here she could see broken glass all over the floor along with a trail of blood and accompanied by the sounds of water.

“Isaac?” Twilight called from the doorway. She didn’t want to walk in on him unannounced, but when she received no reply it was her only course of action. Stepping over the shards of glass she found Isaac curled up in the bathtub while the shower head rained cold water.

“Isaac, what happened?” She asked, truly concerned. He looked at her briefly, but didn’t respond before settling back into his depressed state. At a loss of what to do Twilight examined his suit-less body. She was surprised to find, in contradiction to her earlier deduction, that he was in fact a pegasus. While that was in interesting discovery she found herself more interested in what cutie-mark was. She looked at it carefully from several different angles. It was unique, to say the least and she remembered seeing it from some of the memories gained from him, it was a weapon of sorts, but that was all she knew. A metal object that looked like a pistol grip and trigger guard connected to a rectangular head with three line of blue light coming out of it.

“Um, I hate to ask, but what exactly is your cutie mark?” she pointed at it.

“My what?” Isaac, finally acknowledging her, raised an eyebrow.

“Your cutie mark, uh, of course you wouldn’t know anything about that. It’s the picture on your flank.”

“Oh,” Isaac deadpanned, “you mean the tattoo of the plasma cutter? That’s a standard engineer’s tool, useful for cutting metal and rock. Though I’ve also found it also has other useful applications.” He sat up in the tub while turning off the water.

“Maybe you’d like to tell me why you put a tattoo of it on my ass?”

“Every pony gets a cutie mark when they find what their special talent is, or purpose in life is.”

“You get branded for that?” He seemed somewhat appalled at the idea.

“No, it just appears on a pony’s flank.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that, don’t humans have something similar?” Honestly, she’d be surprised if they did.

“No, humans don’t grow tattoos out of thin air. Besides, you should never describe anything about me as ‘cute’ to begin with.” Isaac sarcastically retorted while air-quoting, “It’s a tattoo, plain and simple, because I am a man, damn it.”

The argument continued on like that for awhile with neither of them willing to concede the point, but in the end she was able to convince him to join her for lunch. It hadn’t taken much coaxing since both of their stomachs began to growl right in the middle of the heated exchange.

“Is that coffee I smell?” Isaac asked as he sat at the table, sniffing the air in deep longing breaths.

“Yes, made it myself, there is sugar and milk if you care to…” Twilight stopped when Isaac grabbed the coffee mug and had downed its contents in a single gulp. He exhaled in delighted exclamation.

“Its coffee, real coffee,” he had a warm laugh and a genuine smile, she found herself sharing the feeling “I would’ve been happy with just the synthetic stuff, but this is real and it's so good!”

“Would you like some more?” Twilight hovered the nearly full coffee pot over to him. His good mood faltered as he scrutinized her magical display, but he held the mug out regardless.

“Thanks.” He said while downing a second cup, followed by another refill.

“I’m happy you like it. I made all of this,” she drew a hoof over her labors, “as a way for me to apologize for, well, you know.” Twilight nervously twiddled her hooves. She had once read in a book that the best way to win a pony over, especially if it was a stallion, was through their stomach. That meant good food and good company, first impressions were everything and they’d certainly gotten off to a bad start.

“I do know.” Isaac examined the food, a mixture of unreadable feelings, but didn’t seem to reach for anything else.

“I just want to apologize for making such a mess of things.”

“Apology accepted.” He said dismissively. She felt her jaw clench, this wasn’t good, she was losing him and she needed him, no, all of Equestria needed him. Whatever the reasons for him being here, she knew that he had a critical role to play in the fight against the Marker.

She knew it.

“Isaac, I know you’re upset right now. It’s my fault,” Her ears dropped as she looked away ashamed, “I know I would be lost too if I suddenly found myself trapped in your world. I can try and find a way to turn you back into a human, but for now I ask that you help us. We can be friends and work together to sort all this out.” She followed up her plea by giving him her biggest puppy-dog expression she’d ever made. An effective trick she’d learned from Applebloom, and although she hated using such under hoofed tactics, she couldn’t readily see any other way.

“Y’know what, fine,” Isaac took a few steps away from her before attacking her with a very stern tone of barely restrained anger, “you turned me into a Pegasus pony, it’s a little awkward, but I can certainly think of a thing or two far worse to get ‘morphed’ into. I’ll get over it once I’m back to normal, might even make a movie out of it.”

His sudden outburst, the words of undisguised scorn, wounded her terribly. It felt like her heart was being crushed under the weight of his anger. She had seriously messed up this time, and such failure only brought her misery. She loathed that feeling, so much wanted to please her friends, and especially Princess Celestia. To show she was reliable and talented, to be entrusted with a great task and succeed against all odds. It also made her angry and sparked a fire in her belly with a sensation she’d never felt before. She was trying to apologize and show how truly sorry she felt and yet this horrible pony across from her couldn’t understand that simple fact. She was trying her best, what else could she do?

“I’m not that upset about being dumped in your little pony fantasy land of magic and sunshine.” He continued, getting even redder in the face. “I can get down with that. I used to watch these kinds of shows when I was seven, even had a unicorn poster over my cubicle when I worked at the CEC home office. This is a fate far more appealing than anything I had to look forward to back home. I’m willing to forgive all of that, but please drop the friendship act. You just want me to make your Marker problems go away and I’m just looking to survive it and go home.”

“Stop yelling!” Twilight’s rage overflowed her senses and she lashed back, screaming at the top of her lungs. “I’m sorry, okay, I just wanted to help. But I didn’t know that this would happen, I couldn’t have. If I could make things right I would, but I don’t know how to make the spells that would send you home!” She tore at him with her words. Her uncontrollable tirade did nothing to help her overcome this burning ire. It did have the effect of stopping him dead mid-sentence and she began to slowly come down. “I don’t care if you hate me, but don’t you dare accuse my offer of friendship as merely an act!” The empty silence stretched on between them as they stared at each other. Isaac was the first to regain control.

“Sorry,” he looked down, “I guess I hadn’t realized how much these feelings needed airing. It's,” he choked, “it's just.. I’m so tired of all this crap. I didn’t mean to take it all out on you. I’m just a tired broken old man. I’ve lost everything to those damn Markers. I have nothing left.”

“No, you’re wrong.” She gingerly approached him, suddenly forgetting the reasons why she was mad in the first place, and put a hoof on his shoulder, “You’re alive. That must count for something.”

“Tch,” Isaac snorted pensively, but didn’t refuse the touch. “Yeah, I guess I have that. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I do.” He gave a long deep sign before breaking out in a second wind. “So, you want me to help? Then you’d better make it well worth my while. I’m thinking maybe a great hall built in my honor, or a museum dedicated to my great works.” Although Isaac seemed serious, Twilight found herself suddenly laughing with him instead.

“You have my word. As Princess Celestia’s star pupil I can assure you that you will be well rewarded for your help.”

“Not sure I really believe you, I’ve been betrayed before. Though, I guess I can take a chance. Never worked with a pony before, might be interesting.”

“Agreed, I’ve never worked with a human before.” Twilight rapidly nodded in approval, happy to have a chance to fix the animosity between them. “So, let’s eat, then. Afterward I’ll take you to Sweet Apple Acres to meet a good friend of mine who can help us.”

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

Isaac wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or accident, but Twilight’s trail took them through the center of the aptly named Ponyville. All the different kinds of colored equine critters made it look like Jackson Pollock had vomited a rainbow all over his canvas. The residents milled about as a close-knit community, very open and innocent; it was strangely inviting. Almost all of them had acknowledged him as a newcomer and welcomed him with a friendly wave, a warm smile, or offered up simple greetings and well-wishes. Isaac felt his long tense muscles start to relax in the friendly atmosphere, but he didn’t allow himself to become complacent, continuing to stay alert for any sudden attacks or signs of trouble.

Along the way Twilight gave have him the abridged tour of the town, pointing out all the major landmarks as they passed.

“Over there is Sugar Cube Corner,” the purple unicorn happily pointed out to him, “That’s where Mr. and Mrs. Cake live. They bake all sorts of wonderful treats.” She turned to him, “We’ll have to stop by for a snack after we help Applejack and I can introduce you to another friend of mine.”

“Shouldn’t we save the meet and greets for later?” Not that he was against meeting new people, or ponies, but there were more pressing matters on hand. “We should be working out a plan.”

“One step ahead of you,” Twilight declared confidently, “when we meet my friends we’ll pull them to the side, someplace secluded preferably, and explain the problem. With the seven of us together there’s no problem we can’t face with the power of the elements.” Isaac just rolled his eyes.

“I did just fine solo.” He muttered, stepping aside to avoid a mare walking the other way.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

“I wish I shared your optimism.” He quickly filled in.

“Over here is the town hall where Mayor Mare oversees the day to day business of the town.”

“Hey,” Isaac stepped in front of her, “Concentrate on the business of the Marker. Our best bet is on getting my suit up to code so I can rip the schematics from the RIG and build us some weapons, like the plasma cutter. They’ve saved my life in more ways that I can recall, but building them from scratch will be a significant investment in resources and, more importantly, time provided your world has the technological means of doing so. Failing that we still need to find out who our enemy is and where they’re building the Marker.”

“Again, just wait until you meet my friends.” Twilight replied, unfazed, “All of them each have their own special talents that I’m sure will help us.”

“Such as?”

“Take the pony we’re going to meet, Applejack, she runs the apple farm and-”

“Twilight, ohhh, Twiliiiight.” Isaac heard a beautiful voice call out with an intense air of sophistication and class.

“Rarity, good afternoon.” Twilight returned the cordial greeting.

“A most marvelous afternoon isn’t it, darling.” The white skinned unicorn with the immaculate mane of violet hair said as she trotted up to the two of them, “I was hoping to catch Spike with you but I see you have, instead, a handsome new friend. I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of an introduction.” Rarity batted her eyelashes at him.

“Oh,” Twilight stumbled, having failed to plan this far ahead. There were too many strangers around them and their secret was for Rarity’s ears only, “Rarity, this is Cutter. He’s an old friend of mine from, uh, Manehatten.”

“Ma’am.” Isaac greeted, bowing his head slightly. He then mouthed towards Twilight, “Really? Cutter.”
To which she mouthed back, “Best I could think of.”

“So polite too, but please, any friend of Twilight’s is a friend of mine. Feel free to call me Rarity. I run Carousel Boutique, the local fashion shop, perhaps you’ve heard of it?”

“Sure have, Twilight told me all about you.” Actually she hadn’t, but he was sure she would’ve gotten around to it eventually.

“Fantastic, and you’re from Manehatten you say? Such a marvelous city full of such glamour, glitz, and so many sophisticated socially connected fashion-centric urbanite ponies. It’s the capital of all things hip and stylish in all Equestria, not even Canterlot can follow it.” Rarity took one of Isaac’s hooves in hers and in a joyous proclamation said, “My dear Cutter, you should join me for tea tomorrow and tell me all about it, all about you.”

“Well,” he nervously fidgeted under her twinkling eyes of hope and anticipation, “I’m afraid I’m only here on a short business trip, sooo, I won’t have time in my schedule, I’m sorry.”

“Then we’ll make it a dinner date. Tonight!”

“Uhh,” The way she emphasized ‘tonight’ had made him afraid to refuse and he felt his vocal chords seize.

“Well, would you look at the time,” Twilight separated the two, “we gotta go, a lot of business to take care of and all that.” Twilight poke Isaac’s side with her horn in order to get him moving, but only succeeded in getting a dirty look.

“Wait!” Rarity called out dramatically, “before you go, could you direct me to where Spike is?”

“He’s still sleeping in the library,” Twilight said, “need him for something?”

“I’d love it if the little dear would accompany me on another gem hunt in the stone foothills next to the Everfree Forest.”

“Are you sure that’s safe? You remember what happened last time?”

“Twilight please, remember who you're talking to. I can handle myself against a couple of diamond dogs.” Rarity had propped her head up while giving a winning smile, “Besides, have you seen the cost of gems nowadays? They’re through the roof and I suspect the clouds as well.”

“I’m sure he’d more than eager to help, once you wake him up.”

“I know he would, he’s such a dear. Well, I won’t keep you two from your business, ta-ta, and do remember, Mr. Cutter, dinner tonight at the Riverside Café at 8, byeee.”

“Would you mind explaining to me what the hell just happened?” Isaac stood frozen in place with a look of complete bafflement and shock, one eye twitching.

“Sorry,” Twilight apologized softly, “Rarity is drawn to anything and everything that can help her fashion business make it big. She can sometimes come across a little too strong.”

“A little?” he protested, “I was afraid she was about to jump me.”

“Well, if you think Rarity is bad,” she added with a sly wink, “wait until you meet Pinky Pie.”

“Christ!” he shouted, “is everyone in this town crazy?”

“Yes, but you get used to it after awhile.”

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

Ditzy Doo made a strong landing just outside of the Everfree forest. She bounced slightly as her hooves contacted against the soft earth. She loved visiting Fluttershy’s cottage, located just outside the Everfree forest. Close enough to see the darkness beyond the inviting exterior, yet far enough away to where it was safe from the wild denizens of the woods. She was at the border between the natural and unnatural and here there was an exciting mixture of smells and fragrances that could not be found anywhere else.

The forest was not her purpose for coming here but rather a respectably large abode made of wood and decorated with a ceiling constructed of finely woven lattices of leaves and moss. It was positioned on the opposite end of a small stone bridge crossing over a narrow river. The river flowed directly out of the forest, yet its waters were clear and pure for any pony to drink.

It was easy enough for Ditzy to canter her way across the bridge up to the front door of Fluttershy’s home. However, along the way, she noticed that Fluttershy’s chicken coop and various outdoor birdhouses had been knocked to the ground and scattered about. The area around the house seemed to be covered in an awful lot of bird feathers, but there were no signs of life; no chickens, birds, or wildlife to speak of.

“Postal Delivery.” Ditzy made three firm raps on the door. The windows were closed and there were no lights on, still she could hear slight amounts of movement from inside.

“Come in.” spoke a low-key voice. Ditzy recognized the friendly tone; but it wasn’t Fluttershy’s.

“Fluttershy-shy has guests,” she reasoned, “I hope they have delicious muffins.” Ditzy nudged the door open and stepped inside. The interior was very dark, but the light from the door revealed an absolute mess. Birdhouses and cages were thrown everywhere, bags of food, chairs, tables, and other items were overturned and broken. Amongst the shattered furniture were many little bodies of mice, birds, and other critters that had been mercilessly slaughtered and discarded. It filled the room with an overwhelming smell of death.

“Fluttershy-shy?” Ditzy whispered with a sudden feeling of dismay when she spotted her friend. The blond pony was lying in the middle of the room, face covered in dry tears and a little bit of blood. Her wings and legs were tightly bound with thick lengths of rope and were both simultaneously gagged and blindfolded. Her pink mane was frayed and her body had several pronounced welts and thin cuts.

“Mmmphh!” At the sound of her name, Fluttershy began to fight against her restraints, her normally soft voice was hot with fear and she seemed to be trying to shriek something that sounded like a warning.

The moment Ditzy made a step to help Fluttershy, the front door slammed shut behind her, casting the room into near total darkness. Furniture skittered along the floor as three pairs of heavy footsteps flanked Ditzy while clawed fingers materialized out of the shadows. With her back to the door, she was cornered and vulnerable. Ditzy instinctively went on the defensive, bucking her legs at a random attacker. There was a loud ring and a grunt as her hooves struck metal and managed to send one of the fiends reeling into the wall with a loud thud. But the other two were already upon her and they clawed at her legs, grabbing them tightly before lifting her up and forcefully slammed her to the ground and onto her side. The saddlebags of mail cushioned the blow; however, there was a crack as her skull impacted against the hard floor and left her bewildered while stars circled in her eyes. Her next instinct would’ve been to scream for help, but there was already a gag in her mouth before she even realized what was happening, and all that came out afterward was a muffled whimper.

It was over as quickly as it had begun and in only a few seconds Ditzy had her legs and wings bound with a very course rope that irritated and chaffed her skin the more she struggled. By this point the attackers had already stripped her of her postal bags and the package she’d been in the middle of delivering.

There was a click of a switch and suddenly the room was filled with lamp light, allowing Ditzy to look upon the faces of her assailants. Three brown furred diamond dogs stood over her; each pit-bull was a bulky mass of muscles and stood nearly a head and a half taller than she was. Each wore an armored helmet, chest piece, and shoulder guards that were made of crudely smelted and beaten iron plates. To Ditzy they looked more like medieval hoof-ball players than knights-errant.

One of them held the brown package with the golden thread and handed the item off to another pony that had entered from the back room. Ditzy immediately recognized the newcomer as the voice that had greeted her into the house. This neon bright pony with a coat of pink and a mane of yellow accepted the package eagerly, her lavender eyes dancing with a gleeful hunger. Ditzy was well acquainted with this pony, but the two were not friends. Still, it hurt so very much to see one of Ponyville’s own betray her.

“At last,” Secret Cherry, secretary to the Mayor of Ponyville, spoke with adulation, “the tome is ours now.” The pink pony tore at the thread and wrapping like an eager foal on Christmas day. She held up a leather bound book that carried no title and no noticeable features save one; the monolithic symbol of the Black Marker burned onto the cover. Cherry lovingly traced a single hoof over the symbol.

“Ten thousand years,” she inhaled sharply, “ten thousand years we’ve been looking for this book. You two ponies should feel honored to be in the present of pony-kind's greatest legacy, the key to our return to greatness. Can you feel its power? I’m sure you can.” She held the book over Fluttershy who began to brutally writhe about, twisting and arching her back in intense spasms. Her pitiful moans and screams reflected a state of intense pain, as if she was being burned alive by the book itself.

“That’s right, bathe in its glory,” Cherry beamed in pleasure as she practically placed the book against the mare’s head.

“I guess the good Doctor was right. You and your friends, all the Elements of Harmony, are especially sensitive to it.” Cherry pulled the tome back and slowly Fluttershy’s aggrieved seizures ceased, leaving the gentle caretaker in a puddle of tears, sweat, and blood soaked mucus. That wasn’t good enough for Cherry, she wanted these worthless ponies to suffer, so she lashed out with a brutal kick to Fluttershy’s midsection. The remorseless blow caused the pegasus to squeak in agony before fainting.

Despite the hopeless situation Ditzy felt her fear melting away at the sight of another fellow pony who dared to treat Fluttershy in such a cruel manner. Bad enough Cherry had completely disregarded the sacred postal rule sixty-five, but this was too much. Ditzy would never be able to find it in her heart to forgive her for committing such heinous acts, even for all the muffins in Equestria. Ditzy glared with unbridled fury, unfortunately it only made her eyes act more derpy than usual due to the intense cocktail of emotions.

“You! Take this tome back to the labs,” Cherry shouted the order while handing off the book to one of the guard dogs, “I’ll be sure to inform the Doctor that we are ready to begin construction tomorrow, in earnest.”

“What about the ponies?” A second guard asked in a deep bass voice that sounded like two stones grinding against each other. Cherry shrugged, with a groan of exasperation, as if the answer was plainly obvious.

"Take them back to the gem mines as per usual,” She back-hoofed the guard, knocking away the helmet from atop his dome, “this is why I’m the one in charge of this operation, for my brains. We can always use more slave labor to help in the construction, and afterward I’m sure the Doctor will love to have a couple more test subjects.” The traitorous pony was about to trot away when she noticed how Ditzy was snarling at her.

“However, I very much don’t like the way this one is looking at me.” She glanced over the defiant gray pegasus. To think such a pathetic creature would dare challenge her. She decided that it was necessary to make an example of it.

“Pluck out her eye.” She commanded the guard, while watching the pegasus’ defiance crumble into complete shock.

“Which one? The guard asked plainly.

“Tch, I don’t know. Does it matter?” she replied in a sing-song voice while waving a hoof back and forth, carefully considering the two options. Ditzy cried, forming a puddle on the ground. She didn’t want to lose an eye, and couldn’t understand why this would happen. She didn’t know Secret Cherry very well, but would never have imagined she was so cruel, so heartless. It felt as if everything she’d ever known had turned against her and she was wracked in terrible sobbing fits as she tried desperately to beg for mercy.

“That one.”
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

As she made her way down the trail towards Ponyville, Cherry whistled a cheerful tune. From behind she could clearly make out a series of high-pitched, stifled screams, burst from the cottage. She felt a flash of ecstasy wash over her being. It was unfortunate that the pegasus had to be gagged, otherwise it would’ve been such a delicious scream to behold.

“This has been a great day.” She mused, and knew that it would only be the first of many to come. She particularly looked forward to when her superiors finally wised up and sent the order down that would finally free her break that goody-four shoes Twilight Sparkle, and her other friends, too.

(…………………………………………………………………………………………)

Author’s Note: The chapter title is a play off the song “Breakfast in America” by ELO. A brief warning; next chapter update will upgrade the story’s rating from T to M. So adjust your ff.net filters accordingly. Lastly, the best idea I got for how Isaac could remove the suit was inspired by “Back to the Future 2,” where Marty Mcfly puts on the oversized futuristic coat and the computer makes adjustments so that it fits him better.