My shadow's
shedding skin and
I've been picking
Scabs again.

I don't know how long it's been. It feels like only yesterday that I sent her to Ponyville. To learn the magic of friendship. To make friends. To keep her away from me.

I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.

I can't remember why, or how, I kept it a secret. Maybe my body is finally shutting down. I always figured that the memory would be the first to go...

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.

We. We could've been. I know this as fact, not fiction. I just know it. It was inevitable that we would become closer, given our relationship. I was practically her surrogate mother all those years ago...

I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.

All I have left is a figment. An apparition. A misconception. No matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about where she is right now. About what's on the other side. Thinking. It's all I can do now. Nopony needs me. Nopony wants me. I have always pondered what lay in store for me at the End. I can only hope that it isn't any more damned thinking. Maybe...maybe I could get another chance.

I wanna feel the changes coming down.

Anything different than these monotonous, trifling thoughts of an alicorn. By the Stars, I hope my so-called immortality is nothing but an exaggeration. I loathe to spend any more time on this world.

I wanna know what I've been hiding in
My shadow.

For too long I have regretted my choices. Even if it was only for the length of a fleeting mortal life, I would have gladly mourned her for the rest of my days had we only been together.

Change is coming through my shadow.

I can feel...something. Something different. A whisper in the wind...a whisper calling my name. Soon...

My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again.

It hurts to think about her and her friends. They're carefree attitudes, they're forever positive outlook on life...I was proud to call them my little ponies.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.

I wonder what has become of my sister since the Collapse...I'm sure she is still sane. Saner than I am, at any rate. I wonder how the Moon is this time of year...

I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.

I wonder if she's thinking about me...I speculate that she must still have some sort of...presence. She had...has...a strong will. I would even go so far as to say her will is stronger than mine. Not just now, when I am losing coherence and stability, but before. She was strong. She is strong.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.

What I wouldn't give to see her right now. To feel her soft fur against my own. To embrace her magical aura with my own. To contemplate the secrets of the Universe with her.

I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within

Trial by fire. My sister and I had to go through it when we banished Discord the first time, and her and her friends had to go through their own set of challenges when my sister returned. I miss them, all of them.

My shadow
Change is coming.

Pinkie Pie. Always laughing, always bringing a smile to other people's faces. I could sense the darkness within her ever since I first laid eyes on her, the darkness that she tried so hard to ignore. She fought it admirably and in the end, her friends were able to dispel the stain upon her poor, misunderstood soul.

Now is my time.

You were happy until your last breath. You made other ponies happy long after you passed on. If there were any left in the land of the living, I'm sure that you would still be making them smile. You were one of the few ponies that could cheer me up, Element of Laughter. May your rest be pleasant and your endless dreams bring you joy.

Listen to my muscle memory.

Applejack. Steadfast, honest, reliable. All the attributes of the simple farmer. She was always a shoulder to lean on in your time of need, somepony who would stick by you through thick and thin. I know that she felt like the inferior pony compared to some of the other bearers, but little did she know, she was the one who kept them all together.

Contemplate what I've been clinging to.

You always spoke your mind, Element of Honesty. Some other ponies didn't like that about you, but I always found it admirable that you would tell it like you saw it. It was a welcome relief to talk to somepony that I wouldn't have to second guess. I'm sure that you are still around, watching over me like the loyal subject you are. You won't need to watch for much longer, Applejack.

Forty-six and two ahead of me.

Rainbow Dash. The self-proclaimed fastest flyer in Equestria. Not that it wasn't true, mind, but she always was self-assured. She was the most confident pony that I have ever known, completely sure of her own abilities, which may have been misconstrued as laziness by others. Brash, competitive, mischievous...she was an interesting mare, to say the least.

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.

You were the only one that I was not entirely sure of, Rainbow Dash. When I felt the Element of Loyalty being passed on to you, I thought that it was a mistake. You were rash and wavering in your decisions, arrogant and proud in your own opinions and your opinions of others. But you never abandoned your friends and loved ones, which is more than I could say about myself. Despite my early misgivings, you proved yourself to be a shining role model and the true Element of Loyalty, never leaving your friends behind, even though you could. May the wind be always at your back, Wonderbolt.

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.

Rarity. Many thought of her as being stuck-up, with a propensity for the overly-dramatic, but I always knew that she had everypony's best interests at heart. She always strove to be 'perfect', to always be the center of attention. Her seamstress skills were second to none, and she went down in history as one of the greatest designers of ponykind. A shame that none of it matters any more.

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.

Your attention to detail was second to none. Although you became carried away with them on more than one occasion , the benefits greatly outweighed the hindrances. You were always gracious, always giving, even when you had no reason to be. I hope that your unending magnanimity has given you some sort of reward at the End, Element of Generosity. You deserved it.

Soften this old armour.

Fluttershy. Always gentle. Always quiet. She was the most benevolent, kind-hearted soul that I ever had the pleasure of knowing. She was almost unanimously loved by all.

Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.

Your death hit me the hardest, aside from hers. When you passed, the entirety of Equestria was awash in the tears of mourning. May whomever guards the other side shower you with the love and admiration you are entitled to, Element of Kindness.

Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

"Celestia."

...

Finally. My name has been called. My time has come. Oh, how long I have waited for this glorious moment! Release me from my torment!

---

...

Drifting. Drifting through the endless void. No sign of them yet. Must keep searching...

...

"...Is that you, Princess Celestia?"

...

It is good to see you again, Twilight Sparkle. And please, call me Tia.

---

Author's note: Written entirely whilst listening to the song 'Forty Six & 2' by Tool. Hopefully it's a slightly different take on most of the Celestia dying stories that I've seen around.

Song here.