"Starting Today, You Are a Host!"

---

A cold wind blew through the empty streets of Ponyville.

What should have been a nice little town; bustling with inhabitants going to and fro, sat an empty ghost town, devoid of life. Save for a lavender unicorn mare and a small, purple dragon. The unicorn was Twilight Sparkle, prized pupil and faithful student of Princess Celestia herself. The dragon was Spike, Twilight's assistant and dear friend whom she raised from an egg.

"I thought this place was supposed to be inhabited?" Spike grumbled as he kicked some dirt.

Twilight sighed and looked around. "I thought so too," she quietly admitted. "Where is everypony?"

The dragon merely shrugged. "Perhaps it's nap time?" he chuckled.

Twilight scowled and trotted forwards. "Or perhaps everypony's too busy preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration," she retorted with a small smile. Her smile dropped, however, when she saw no signs of planning, preparations or anything that resembled the celebration. Or maybe it is nap time here in the sticks.

She felt a tug at her mane as Spike steered her towards the sound of approaching hooves. The owner, a pink pony who looked strangely familiar for some reason, smiled blissfully as he trotted up to the two.

"C'mon Twilight," the dragon started as they approached one another, "perhaps the ponies (the ones that are here, anyway) in Ponyville have interesting things to say." He smiled at the stallion and nudged Twilight forwards.

She tentatively smiled at the newcomer. "Uhh... hello?"

The pink one jumped two hooves into the air and gave a loud gasp as his eyes turned to the size of planets. He darted away to some corner of the world for who-knows what reason, leaving a small trail of smoke in his wake.

"Well that was interesting, alright," Twilight snorted disapprovingly. "Where's first on the Summer Sun Celebration Overseer's check-list?"

Spike whipped out a scroll and furrowed his brow in thought.

The unicorn blinked a few times as she struggled to think where he pulled it from. No matter. I guess.

"Banquet Preparations: Sweet Apple Acres," he eventually cried with delight. "Does this mean we get to be food tasters?" he asked with a mischievous glint in his lizard-green eyes.

Twilight laughed. "No. We're just going to check up on them, then we'll move on to the next so I can hurry up and stop Nightmare Moon."

***

Eventually they found Sweet Apple Acres, with nopony available to give directions as well, much to Twilight's disapproval. As they approached the quaint looking farmhouse, a loud "YEE-HAAW!" made them both jump as an orange stallion in a dapper looking ten-gallon hat buck a tree, knocking all the apples off in one fell swoop.

Twilight sighed and hung her head low as she moved forwards. "Lets get this over with then," she muttered to Spike. "Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle and I'm-"

The stallion surged forwards, lowering one knee and taking her hoof in his. "A pleasure ta meet ya, Miss Sparkle, might I say you look..." He paused for a moment. "Uh... what was it?" he muttered to himself. "Oh, yeah! Might ah say that ya'll look simply divine?" he chuckled and released her hoof. "A pleasure makin' your acquaintance, ah'm Applejack." he grinned at her and tipped his hat politely as he rose to his full height.

She blushed profusely and struggled for words. "W-well, uh... I, um... Th-thank you, Applejack-"

"Aw, tain't nothin'." He eyed her up for a few seconds before continuing. "Say, you're not from around here, are you?"

She shook her head, still reeling at the unexpected compliment of such a good looking stallion- Focus, Twilight! Focus.

He gave a little hop and whooped with joy. "We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!"

"F-friends?" Twilight stammered. "Actually, I, uh-"

"So, what can ah do ya for, Miss Sparkle?"

The unicorn's blush did not relent as she gazed into his emerald green eyes. "Uhh..." Oh bravo, Twilight. One of the smartest unicorns in Canterlot and can't even speak. Good job. Never as Celestia had such a more deserving student.

Spike saw his friend's failure and quickly stepped in. "Hi, Applejack, I'm Spike," he said. "Twilight raised me since I was an egg in Canterlot. She even hatched me too!"

Applejack smiled down at him, then shot his head back up with a terrified expression. "Oh. Uhh. Hi. S-sorry, Miss Sparkle, ah didn't know you had kids. 'Specially dragon kids."

Twilight's jaw rocketed to the floor. "Oh! He's not my- I mean, he kind of is, but he's morelikemyyoungerbrotherand-" Her words sped up as she began to hyperventilate. Ohhh. Why doesn't he stop staring at me with those eyes of his?!

The stallion rubbed his neck awkwardly and looked away, a large, red blush spreading across his orange cheeks. "Well ah've gone and made a foll of myself, haven't I?" he chuckled as he looked back at her.

She nodded silently as sweat trickled down her brow. Spike was writhing on the floor beside her, almost crippled with laughter. "Twilight!" he gasped. "He thought you were... you were my mommy! Bwahahahahahaha!" He pounded the ground and begged for it to stop. "I'm going to wee!" he wailed.

Applejack's mouth twitched upwards into a smile. "OK, now we've gotten that awkwardness outta the way, what can ah do ya for?" he repeated his question from earlier.

Spike's laughter must have relaxed Twilight, for she gained the power of speech once more. "Ahem. Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration." She smiled at the stallion, feeling her cheeks burn red again. "And I take it you're in charge of the food?"

He nodded proudly. "We sure as sugar are, care ta sample some?"

The dragon stopped pounding his fist into the ground at the mention of food. "So we'll get to be taste testers?" he excitedly asked.

Again, the stallion nodded. Spike looked up at Twilight with large, puppy dog eyes, just begging her to accept the offer.

Twilight sighed. "Alright. As long as it doesn't take too long."

Applejack took a step back and whistled loudly. "SOUP'S ON EVERYPONY!" he hollered at the top of his voice.

The ground began to shake as a herd of ponies charged from out of nowhere towards the trio. Twilight and Spike felt themselves be picked up and moved somewhere amidst the stampede, only to find themselves actually moved and at a round table with a yellow plaid tablecloth set over it.

Applejack sidled up next to them and beamed. "Why don't ah introduce ya'll to the..." He paused for dramatic effect (what little there was). "Apple family."

It was not a question.

Twilight thought fast. "Thanks, but we really need to get going-"

"This here's Apple Fritter, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Apple Cinnamon Crisp, Apple Cobbler, Apple Strudel, Caramel Apples, Apple Pie, Apple Cider, Apple Salad, Cousin Braeburn Apples, Apple Juice, Ant & Uncle Orange, along with Squeezed Oranges, Orange Crush, Babs Seed and mah side of the family: little Applebloom, Big Macintosh, annnnd." He jammed an apple into the unicorn's mouth with a grin and gestured to a sleeping, very old looking mare on a rocking chair. "Granny Smith." he trotted over to her and nudged her gently. "Up at at 'em, Granny, we got guests."

Her eyelids creaked open slowly. "Well howdy do, ya'll," she wheezed.

Applejack clapped a hoof on Twilight's back. "Why ah reckon they're already part of the family." He beamed with pride and stuck his chest out proudly, winking at the large, red stallion known as Big Mac.

At this Twilight couldn't take anymore. She opened her mouth, not wishing to be rude or crude but having little choice, and spat out the apple in her mouth. "Blech! Ah haha! OK, well, I can see (and taste) the food situation is well in hoof, so we'll be on our way now." She put on a brave smile as Applebloom moved closer to her. Oh please Celestia. Don't, she thought.

"Aren't ya gonna stay fer brunch?" The filly stared up at her with eyes so wide Twilight thought she was going to get lost in them.

"Ohhh, sorry," the unicorn apologetically told the filly, "but we've really got a lot to do..."

The entirety of the Apple family groaned and hung their heads. Cousin Braeburn took of his hat, same as Applejack and wiped tears from their eyes.

Twilight bit her lip as she caved. "Fine."

The family whooped as one and began chatting amongst themselves.

Applejack beamed at Twilight, who was beginning to suspect the "tears" were all just a ruse.

***

Spike licked his chops as he and a very, VERY full Twilight moved away from Sweet Apple Acres. "Food preparations... check!" He crossed one off the list.

Twilight groaned. "Ohhh. I ate to much pie..."

The dragon stifled an immature giggle as he looked at the next item of the list. "Huh. There's supposed to be a pegasus pony called Rainbow Blitz clearing the clouds."

The unicorn groaned again as she turned her head skyward, counting several clouds immediately. "Well they're not doing a very good job, are they?" Suddenly, the world turned rainbow coloured, then black, then felt very cold and muddy.

The pony on top of her, a large, smaller than Applejack, blue pegasus with a rainbow streaked mane and tail shook his head and looked down at her. His mouth curved upwards as giggles took him. "Woops. 'Scuse me?"

Twilight grumbled something inaudible as he flapped off her.

"Lemme help you," he giggled and zipped off without a further word.

The unicorn sat up, covered from head to hoof in mud and glared after him. Her full stomach grumbled with indignation of being disturbed while it was digesting.

The pegasus flew back with a dark cloud in front of him. He positioned it over Twilight and hopped onto it, shaking it back and forth until all the rain came crashing down onto the poor mare. He peered over the edge and stifled another fit of giggles as he spotted a soaking wet Twilight. "I guess I over did it," he mumbled through some more laughter.

Twilight glared at him. Is laugh all this pony ever do?

"Umm." He tapped his chin. "How 'bout this?" At once he began to fly around and around the mare, creating a miniature tornado made up of rainbows. "My very own patented Quick Blitz Dry." He flapped down with a smug expression as the tornado ended. "No, no. Don't thank me." He grinned at the unicorn as she glared back at him. Her mane was all frizzled and poofy with the wind's effect.

The pegasus bit his lip as tears formed in his eyes. "Bahahahahahahaha!" He collapsed onto the ground in a final fit of laughter and giggles.

I guess this makes up for Applejack's... complimenting attitude before, thought Twilight as she tapped her hoof in disapproval. "Lemme guess. You're Rainbow Blitz?"

The pegasus stopped laughing and straightened up proudly. "The one and only." Suddenly, as if a light came on inside his head, he sank to his front knees and bowed before her. "And I am begging my pardon, Miss..."

"Twilight Sparkle."

"Miss Twilight. I certainly hope I did not disturb you too much with that..." He groaned and shut his eyes. "Unruly behaviour. Please accept my humblest apologies." With that, he took her hoof in his and kissed it, then reared up to his full height and swept some of his rainbow coloured mane out his eyes.

And Twilight found herself without words once more. What is it with these stallions and being so... charming? she wondered. "Um... thank you, Mr Blitz."

He wrinkled his nose but said nothing.

"But I heard you're supposed to be keeping the sky clear. My name is Twilight Sparkle and the princess sent me here to check on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. That includes the weather."

Rainbow Blitz smiled and waved a hoof as he flapped upwards and rested on a cloud. "Yeah, yeah, that'll be done in a jiffy. Just as soon as I'm done practising."

Twilight frowned. "Practising? For what?"

Blitz stuck a hoof out and pointed to a large poster over on the far wall. "The Wonderbolts! They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow and I'm gonna show them my stuff. Plus Spitfire's gonna be there."

The unicorn grinned devilishly. "The Wonderbolts? And Spitfire? Their captain? One of Equestria's most talented flyers?"

"You bet." Rainbow beamed with pride. "And I'm gonna be one someday."

Twilight snorted and turned away. "The Wonderbolts would never accept a pony who can't even keep the skies clear for one measly day. What makes you think they'd want you? That she'd want you?" She couldn't help but grin as she heard the flap of wings fast approach.

"Now hold up, missy." He glared at her as she turned around. "I can clear the sky in ten. Seconds. Flat. Also, that was kind of mean. Apologise!"

The lavender mare kept the devil grin and looked into his eyes. "Prove it, then I'll apologise. Consider this payback for sticking me in the mud."

Rainbow Blitz furrowed his brow as he shot up into the air.

Ten seconds later, no jokes, the skies were crystal clear.

"What I'd tell ya? Ten. Seconds. Flat." Blitz grinned and winked at the mare as he settled down in front of her. "You should see the look on your face," he laughed and took off once more.

Twilight stared at the sky with an open jaw and unbelieving eyes.

"Ha ha! You're a hoot, Twilight Sparkle," he cried as he flew away. "I can't wait to get to kno you better. Hope we see you at the Host Club!"

Before she could ask what the flying feather the Host Club was, he was gone, zipped off to some other part of the world in probably ten seconds. Spike stifled another laugh a he fluffed part of her mane up and into her face. "Hrrrrrrm," she grumbled and started off, towards the town hall. "What's next on the list?"

Spike flicked through the list once more. "Decorations."

"Lets hurry up then, I don't think I can take much more of these stallions-"

A soft singing interrupted her, coming from somewhere behind the town hall.

Both dragon and unicorn stopped to listen to the beautiful sounds. "What is that?" the former asked.

"I'm... not sure..." the latter whispered as she found herself entranced by it. It just sounds so peaceful, so... calm... so much like... She shook her head. "I... guess decorations can wait a bit. Music's on the list too, right?"

Spike nodded absent-mindedly as he shut his eyes and listened.

"Well... lets go see what this is about first then. Just this once."

They both quietly followed the source of the music, as if they were being pulled by it. To Twilight's surprise, it was actually a stallion, a yellow pegasus with a pink mane making the music with a choir of birds. She gazed at the back of the stallions head with dreamy eyes as memories flooded her brain. The trance was broken, however, as a blue jay began singing out of tune.

"Oh my, um, stop please everyone," the stallion quietly said as he flapped up towards the out of tune blue jay. "I'm sorry, sir, but -no offence meant, of course- but you're rhythm is just the teeniest, tiniest bit off." He smiled apologetically and flew to the front of the birds again. "OK, now follow my lead please. A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three-"

Oh Celestia, he's about to start singing again, Twilight thought. If he starts, I might not be able to help myself! Just as the stallion opened his mouth, she surged forwards. "Hello!"

The stallion gave a small shriek and the birds all darted off.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" the unicorn apologised. "I didn't mean to frighten your birds, I swear!"

The stallion pegasus touched down on the ground as his cheeks turned as pink as his mane. His hoof pawed at the ground nervously.

Twilight's face broke into an awkward smile as she felt a blush coming on. "I'm just here to check up on the music and it sounded.. amazing. You are a really talented pony, if I do say so."

The pegasus nodded shyly. "Thank you," he mumbled. His cheeks began to slowly turn from pink to red the longer she stared at him.

An awkward silence fell upon them. Twilight felt a smile creep onto her face. "My name is Twilight Sparkle," she ventured, hoping for an introduction to this cute, quiet stallion.

More awkward silence.

She began to feel anxious. "What's your name?"

"Um... my name is Butterscotch," the stallion whispered.

She flicked her ear. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Um... Butterscotch..."

"One more time?"

His lower lip trembled as he hid in his pink mane, giving only a quiet squeak as his answer this time. Twilight felt awful. She sighed, thanked him for speaking (if even that) to her, then moved on. "OK, now lets go to decorations, Spike," she mumbled as Spike came into view of the shy pegasus.

Shy no longer, it would seem, for the stallion surged forwards with a huge smile on his face. "A baby dragon!" He charged forwards, accidentally knocked Twilight out the way, and stared down at the dragon. "I've never seen a real one! He's sooo cute!"

Twilight grunted in acknowledgement as she picked herself up. "Well, we'd better be going, c;mon, Spike."

"Aww, Twilight, I have a fan, see?" Spike chuckled. He was loving this, you could tell.

The pegasus gaped. "He talks too? I didn't know dragons could talk." He beamed with delight as his eyes moved back over to Twilight, seeing her brush some dirt off her shoulder and glare at him impatiently. "Oh my, I'm so sorry Miss, I just got so excited. Please forgive me, I mean... if you want to."

She sighed. "It's quite alright, Mr, uh?"

"Butterscotch. Are you TWilight Sparkle?" he asked tentatively, eyeing up her messy mane.

She nodded. "How did you know?"

"Rainbow Blitz flew over this way. Said something about a newcomer in town, then he went into the town hall with Applejack. Oh my gosh, a real dragon! I'm so excited I just don't know what to say!"

Twilight's eye twitched. "Rainbow Blitz is in the town hall? With Applejack?" she gulped.

Butterscotch nodded. "So, Spike, was it?"

Spike nodded, grinning and sticking his tongue out at the unicorn.

"So, Spike, wow a real dragon! What do dragons talk about?"

"Well what do you want to know?" the dragon asked, puffing his chest out with pride.

"Absolutely everything," Butterscotch declared with a small smile.

Twilight Sparkle groaned as she started into the town hall with the (apparently) talkative pegasus and bay dragon behind her, chatting away to one another about everything Spike had experienced.

***

The town hall was extravagant to say the least. Goodness knows how many ponies were gathered in the large building, all seeming to surge towards a pair of doors at the far side. A loud cheer went up as the crowd spotted the newcomers.

"Eeeee! it's Butterscotch!"

"Who's that mare with him?"

"She looks new."

"She is new."

"And she has a dragon!"

Butterscotch smiled as the crowd parted for them. "Thank you very much," he quietly said. Several of the mares swooned at his soft, kind voice. "Come on, Twilight," he told the unicorn as he took her hoof in a wing. "Let me show you the Host Club."

Twilight gulped. She had no idea what to expect from something called the "Host Club", but she could only guess it had something to do with the stallions she'd already met and their charming demeanour.

The crowd squee'd with delight as Butterscotch pushed the doors open, revealing a gleaming, white light and four stallions. Three of which Twilight instantly recognized: Applejack, Rainbow Blitz and the strange pink pony she'd "met" when she arrived in town, before he vanished to who knows where.

"Welcome," they all said in unison.

Applejack strode forwards. "Well ah'll be! If it ain't Twilight Sparkle!" he laughed as he examined her.

Next was Rainbow Blitz. "You know her, AJ?" he chuckled. "You sly dog."

The farm pony immediately turned as red as the apples on his flank. "That's not what ah meant an' you know it! She came 'round fer a visit and ta check on the food preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration."

Blitz nodded thoughtfully. "Actually, yeah, she came looking after me next, wanting me to clear the skies." He winked at the lavender mare. "Ten seconds, remember?"

How could I forget? she thought. "Well, uh, I need to check on decor-"

Suddenly the pink pony jumped forwards and enveloped her in a hug, much to the terror of the other Club members.

"Well hi there! I'm Bubble berry and I would've thrown a party just for you, but the Club was opening soon and these guys won't last a day without me!" he cheerily claimed.

Blitz started forwards, only to have his tail caught in-between Applejack's clenched jaws. The latter merely tilted his head towards the white unicorn slowly moving forwards out of his chair. The former settled down and fell silent.

Bubble Berry continued to bounce around the unicorn, making her head spin with all the fast movements, and also continued to ramble on about partying, cupcakes and, much to her shock, what Twilight's sexual preferences were.

"I beg you pardon?!" she yelled.

"What? I'm only asking 'cause that's what we kinda do, silly."

Clearly this pony is mad. They all are. What sort of place is this Host Club? Twilight furiously thought.

Bubble berry was about to ask another question, or perhaps burst into song, who can say? When the alabaster unicorn silenced him with a single hoof.

"Apologies, my dear," he said in a calm, soft, endearing and charming voice. "But what. On Equestria... is... WRONG WITH YOUR MANE?!" he bellowed. His dark blue eyes shone outwards in shock and horror as he glazed over Twilight's messy mane.

The lavender mare started backwards in absolute terror. Clearly this pony is mad, she thought as he swerved around her. "W-well, um-"

"Who did this to you?" he growled. "Whom is responsible for such a crime against beauty? Whom is responsible for making a mare such as yourself the pinnacle of everything against what we stand for? Whom-" He stopped mid-sentence, and slowly turned around, glaring at the cuplrit. "You."

Rainbow Blitz whistled nonchalantly and tried to move away.

The unicorn's eye twitched. "Mr Blitz. Apologise. Now." The levels of serious business in his voice made Butterscotch, Spike and Twilight tremble.

"I already did. After I made her all muddy, anyway."

Another eye twitch. "You did... what?"

"Oh. Uhh. Well, I... oh... Damn."

"What do you mean you made her all muddy? You made this beautiful, young maiden muddy? You dared to stain her coat with anything other than ravishing love?!" the unicorn exploded. Almost literally. His white face turned red as he yelled into Rainbow's face. The pegasus simply shrugged and sighed.

"Alright, alright, keep your hooves on, boss." He closed his eyes and smiled a little. "I am sorry, Twilight. I didn't mean to make you muddy, or to give you the hilarious mane cut."

Twilight gaped in horror as she tried to hide behind Spike. The other unicorn's burst had caught her completely off guard, as it would anypony, let alone a pony as out of touch with social interactions as Twilight Sparkle was.

The terrifying unicorn swept his mane out his eyes and looked down at the purple mare. "Forgive my outburst, m'lady, but you see, I simply cannot let such a crime against beauty go unpunished." He smiled and leant in close, his mood abruptly changing form outright scary to perfectly charming. "My name is Elusive, and this is the Host Club."

Twilight fainted.

She just straight up fainted.

She could hear Spike calling out to her, a mere muffled voice in the void that swallowed her up.

Then nothing.

***

"Ugghhh..." she groaned and sat up. "Where am... I?" she murmured as she gazed into the faces of five stallions crowded around her, plus one baby dragon who looked mortified. Then it all came back to her. "Oh yeah. Host Club..."

Elusive's face was suddenly pressed into hers. "Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, fair maiden, please forgive me my princess, I didn't mean to give you such a fright you'd collapse from sheer terror!" he wailed, rather over dramatically.

Applejack sighed and shoved him out the way. "What he's tryin' ta say, sugarcube, is that he's sorry fer givin' ya such a startle there."

Twilight nodded with wide eyes. "Uh... huh..."

Bubble Berry bounced into view. "Yeah, old King Elly does get a bit excited every now and then."

The alabaster unicorn scowled. "The name is Elusive, Bubble Berry. King Elusive. Not Elly."

"But Elly sounds so much more cooler!"

"Even so." The strain was heavy on Elusive's voice as he looked back down at Twilight. "Again, I believe apologies are in order, as well as a proper Host Club greeting." He straightened up and cleared his throat as his mane fell over his eyes. "Gentlecolts. We have a new guest. You know what to do."

The scene changed as a sudden darkness fell upon them all. Twilight and Spike watched and waited quietly with slight awe mixed with fear. Then a light came on, temporarily blinding the unicorn and dragon.

First the light shone on Applejack. A voice began to speak over as the stallion bowed and tipped his hat.

"Applejack. The most dependable of ponies in Ponyville. Never has a client been unsatisfied when they've met Applejack Apple. One of the strongest stallions the town has to offer, and occasionally found at his home in Sweet Apple Acres. The strong type."

The light dimmed on the farm pony as it shone above the brazen pegasus. "Rainbow Blitz. Possibly the fastest flier in all of Equestria. The Club's mascot and loyalist of ponies. Mr Blitz will never let a friend fall. Never. Usually found on a cloud above Ponyville, napping. The mischievous, cool type."

Blitz's spotlight faded as it shone above Butterscotch, eliciting a small shriek from the timid pegasus. "Butterscotch. Full time animal lover and unofficial vet of Ponyville. Timid and shy, he proves to be one of the Club's most requested Hosts. The shy, reserved, cute type."

Butterscotch started breathing again as soon as the light was off him, moving next to the energetic pony. "Bubble Berry. Party rocker and cupcake enthusiast. Always trying to make ponies -friends and enemies alike- smile for whatever reason. Usually found in Sugarcube Corner, residents of the Cakes and backup base for the Host Club. The hyperactive, boy-lolita type."

Finally, the light, three lights to be exact, shone on the speaker: Elusive. "And finally, me, the Host Club's King." He swept his mane out and gazed into Twilight's eyes, caressing the side of her face with a tender hoof. She felt her temperature increase tenfold as she gazed back into his dark blue eyes. "My name is Elusive. Welcome, my princess, for today, you shall be treated like royalty as an honoured guest of the Host Club."

Twilight Sparkle sat with wide eyes as he moved away. Spike prodded her in the side, making her jump. She blushed profusely and attempted a straight face.

"And together..." Elusive continued. "We are the Host Club. Dedicated to chivalry and the well-being of mares everywhere in Ponyville."

The lavender unicorn blinked a few times before standing up. Her mane covered her eyes. "Well... that's very... nice," she mumbled as she inched towards the doors. "But I really have to get going." Shoot, I completely forgot about Nightmare Moon returning. I hope there's still time-

Rainbow Blitz shot to her side. "What's the rush? Why don't you stay a while, maybe we could show you around Ponyville?"

"N-no, really, I'm fine."

Bubble Berry bounced up and down, waving a hoof in the air.

Elusive sighed. "Yes, Bubble Berry?"

"Butters and I just had a great idea!" he cried gleefully.

Butterscotch looked around worriedly. "Did we?"

The pink pony laughed and ruffles his mane. "Why don't we throw a "welcome to Ponyville party" for Twilight? I meant to throw one earlier, but Elly wanted me here-"

"You said that already," Spike deadpanned.

Now the Host Club (minus Butterscotch and Applejack) noticed there was a small dragon in the room.

Elusive shrieked and dove backwards. "AHHHHH! KEEP HIM AWAY FROM MY GEMS!"

Rainbow flapped his wings in annoyance and took a step forwards.

Bubble Berry leaned down and scrutinized the baby dragon. "He sure is a tiny dragon," he murmured.

Spike scowled. "I am not tiny," he warned. "I have thick scales and can breathe fire, too."

"Oh yeah, pipsqueak? Prove it," Blitz snorted as he hovered above the small dragon. Elusive still cowered behind his "throne" as Twilight stepped forwards to defend her young charge.

"Now hold on a minute, Mr Blitz!" she warned. "What gives you the right to speak to Spike like that?" To her and the Club's surprise, Butterscotch nodded in approval.

"Yeah. He is just a baby, after all." The pegasus' attitude quickly changed when he realized everypony was staring at him. "I mean, if it's OK with you..."

Spike gave a sudden groan and clutched at his stomach. "Uhh, Twilight?"

Twilight turned to him. "What is it, Spike?"

"I think... I'm gonna be..."

*BELCH*

A scroll materialized out of the green smoke which escaped the dragon's mouth.

The unicorn sighed and grabbed the scroll in her mouth, then passed it into her assistant's claws. "It must be a letter from the princess. What does it say?"

The Host Club sat and watched with mild interest at the mention of the princess. Elusive actually came out from behind his throne and joined the group now.

"Ahem," Spike cleared his throat before he began to read.

---

Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student.

Perhaps I should have included this in my earlier letter. Oh well. As you have probably guessed, Ponyville is home to the well known and well received Host Club. As part of your ulterior motive, I would like you to join this Club and make some friends.

Best of luck to you.

- Princess Celestia.

P.S. Do send them all my regards.

---

Twilight felt the colour drain her body.

Applejack whistled. "Wow. A female Host? That'd be a first."

"Yeah... hot."

"Rainbow!"

"What? It would be, you're all thinking it."

Spike ignored them and prodded his friend's side again. "Twilight? You OK?"

The unicorn's mouth moved up and down, resembling a goldfish far too much as she processed this information. How could she do this to me? Have I messed up in my studies? Is this because of my Nightmare Moon theory? Is sending me away to Ponyville not enough? Questions shot in and out of her mind, each one without an answer. She was brought back to reality by a hoof clapping around her shoulders.

Elusive grinned as he stuck his other hoof out. "Alright men, you've heard the princess's wish: she wants Twilight here to be a Host, so by all the powers, we'll make her one! I shall take her under my metaphorical wing and show her how to woo the mares and stallions. Bubble Berry, you can put away your transvestite costumes, we actually have a female Host now!"

Bubble Berry's face drooped. "Aww. I liked playing dress up," he murmured.

"Way too much information, dude," Blitz chuckled as he clapped his friend on the back.

Applejack whinnied in a cheer. "Woohee! Welcome ta the ranks, Twi!"

Butterscotch gave a soft "You rock, woohoo!" as his contribution to gaining a new member of the Club.

The King's face suddenly broke out in realization. "You're... Twilight Sparkle..." he murmured, and quickly removed his hoof from around her shoulders.

Twilight was drawn out of her thought-provoking trance and turned to him. "Yes."

"The Twilight Sparkle? Princess Celestia's personal protégée? The apparent daughter she never had?"

Twilight swelled with pride at that, but remained a tad confused. "How do you know that?" she murmured.

Applejack smacked his head. "Ah thought ah recognized yer name, Twi!"

Elusive smiled. "Why you're infamous. It's not everyday that a young filly manages to create nuclear levels of magic and earn a cutie mark is magic itself. You made the newspaper headlines for a week. You must have quite the audacious attitude to study for that much magic in so few nights."

The lavender mare flinched. Audacious?

"Why you're practically royalty, Miss Sparkle. Our very own little princess of Ponyville." The King grinned gleefully. "Now, first things first, if you are to be a true Host, you must look like one and act like one. Like me."

"I don't think it's that important, really. I mean, if the princess wants me to, then I guess I'll try but what really matters is just finding out more about Nightmare Moon so I can stop her evil return of ever lasting night."

They all stared at her blankly.

"Nightmare Moon?" Rainbow asked. "That old mare's tale? Aw c'mon Twilight, she doesn't really exist."

Bubble Berry nodded. "Yeah, that big ol' meanie pants is just an old story that Grandma Berry used to tell so we'd behave."

"Yes, yes. Now, we need, as in need, to sort your mane out, Miss Sparkle. It has gone too long as that abomination atop your head. Butterscotch, could you go and tell the guests we'll be running a bit later than usual?"

The pegasus nodded reluctantly. "I guess so."

"Good. Applejack, Rainbow Blitz? Help escort Miss Sparkle to the Boutique. Hopefully without letting anypony see her dreadful mane. I'll be along shortly."

The two saluted as they reached around Twilight's middle and hoisted her up into the air. She shrieked and tried to squirm out of their grasp as Spike trotted along behind them.

"And what can I do, Elly?" Bubble Berry excitedly asked.

Elusive looked at the pink pony bouncing on the spot. "You, Bubble Berry..." He paused as he thought of something suitable for the pink one to do. "You... go eat some cake." With that, the King was off, gone to take care of some business of his own.

Bubble Berry pouted as he trotted over to a desk and opened the drawer. "It's just you and me again Bubblini Davinci Berry," he muttered as he pulled out some cake and began feasting upon it. We'll get to Bubblini later on. Much later on, granted nothing takes a turn for the worse.

The plan were in motion, and Twilight was becoming a Host.