I've seen My rating slowly rising guys. You must be liking me more. I'm gonna go ahead now.

I woke up the next morning curled up next to Fluttershy in her bed the next morning.

Oh...oh..oh,oh,oh-oh, oh,oh
OMG
dude do you remember yesterday?
Nuh-uh
We switched spots so I could hit on Dark Shy and you wound up exploding for some reason
Actually he exploded twice. Once from stress and the second was from Fluttershy response to his question.
Which was?
Will you go on a date will me?
And She said?
Yes
Oh...well exploding hurts...
That's why Flutters switched out with Dark Shy and made Dark Flare switch out. But you only suffered mental exhaustion from your pain so when you switched you passed out...because exploding hurts.
Which is why you're in her bed. Turns out she doesn't have guest beds and wanted to be near if you appeared to need help.
Well I'm gonna get up now.

This is when I heard a knock on the door.

Whoever it was sounded extremely pissed

"Oh...uh...who is it?" I say meekly. It isn;t everyday you wake up from exploding.Twice.

"You know Damn well who this is!Open the Damn Door!" Roared the voice.

I hope that's ain't who I think it is.

"Open Up!"

"Ok, you can stop knocking now, I'm opening the door but calm-" I said as I opened the door. The second it was open though, a purple thing attached itself to my face.

"Oooookay...Spike, get off of me or pain will come to you." I say as calmly as possible while muffled since I thought this was a spider at first. I even had a surprise cast iron skillet behind my back.

"Fine but you still need to explain yourself." Spike muffled into mt face.

He then jumped down and glared at me. What did I do?

"Ok first what do you want me to explain bro?"

"I ain't your bro. Not after Canterlot."

"I was wondering how you got out anyway."

"You know Pinkie Pie?"

"Not personally but I've adopted her random ways."

"Wha?"

I show him the skillet.

"You thought I was a bug didn't you?"

"eeyup!" I say proudly.

"Anyway...I got out after blowing sparks in the plot of the pony that grabbed me. I then surrounded myself with a fiery armor."

Cue a confused look for me.

"We can't hurt ourselves with fire."

Cue an understanding nod.

"Anyway I walked around scaring off the mares because they didn't want to tackle me and the unicorns were too stupid to put me out. Actually I didn't see that many mares on the way out though. What happened."

"After you got grabbed, Fancy pants directed everyone to the secret passageway. Think a huge slide. Well it ended in a hallway and after we stepped out the hallway we saw ALL of Canterlot's mares along with Ponyville's mares.On top of that I think all if Manehattan's mares made their way to Canterlot cliff. I everyone freaked out since it wasworse than odds against the Spartans at Thermopylae."
Oops.
"What are Spartans, what's a Thermopylae?" Asked Spike curiously.
"Spartans are trained warriors. And...uh...Thermopylae is a made up place where they fought. It a big legend." I said. No one even knows I 'm not from here.

I do.

Um..who was that? One of you guys bucking with me?
Normally yes. This time I'm innocent.
Yea bro,I ain't done nothing...Yet.

I'm going to bring you here..right now.

I run to grab Fluttershy before I get teleported(how is this not a word?) Since I figure Teleporting(this also isn't a word?) rules work on a area o effect thing. I was right. The Second a jump on Fluttershy, scaring her I might add, we teleport.

After the room comes into view, we find ourselves in some kind of throne room. I relax but Fluttershy panics.

"Hey Shy relax. Nothing's gonna happen."

I always give life these openings.

Without fail two more flashes appear in the room. One a bright sunny flash, the other a darker midnight blue flash. I lookde up and lost my mind. Literally, Dark Flare had to look for it because I saw two ponies that were taller than me back when I was human. One was as white as white could get with Aurora colored hair. She had a sun cutie mark and had kind of wierd feel to her. Like normally, it would be a motherly kind of deal but this time...I dunno. The other was a couple inches shorter, was kind of light blue with Midnight Blue hair. She had the moon as a cutie mark and had the air of..well the average teenager. Which was bad considering the time it was.

Aww..dude. Are we about to get it?
What do we do?

Fluttershy bowed and I followed suit figuring these two mares were royalty.

"Hello there, Fluttershy, Phoenix" Said the white sun mare.
"um...hello there...Princess." Fluttershy's voice was almost mute right now.

Princess? the which one?
maybe it's both?

"If...you don't mind my asking.....w-w-what's your highness' name?" I stuttered. It was my first time around royalty.

"I am Celestia." I knew that but I didn't want to give up my secret.
"And we are Luna." said the Light blue pony next to her. You think she said that loudly? nope. She just likes the royal we.

"I am honored to make your acqaintance princesses." I said.

Soooo....Miss Luna....When's the last time you got laid
Dude..screw you Celestia is where it's at
You two need to get laid

"Is that what you think of us?" Asked Celestia

"uh...er.....ah....no?" I say sheepishly

You two are assholes
No I'm the asshole. White is a prick. Get it right.
Fuck you Dark Flare.
You gotta pay first.
She can still read our mind guys. Chill out.
Celestia giggled and so did Luna.
"Wait...I get why you laughed Princess Celestia but why'd you laugh Princess Luna?" I asked

"Well...We share a mind link. Anytime one of us thinks something, the other hears the thought. A bonus is if she uses her mind reading ability, Both of us hear it. Oh and Dark Flare...a long time ago." Luna Explained with a flirtatious wink.

Phoenix, Can I-
No!
What about Dark Shy bro? You can't forget her.
Can I?
Nope we won't let you
Eh..aw well
I guess you aren't a total asshole.
Isn't Celestia still listening to us?
Waaaaiiiiit.....
WHERE'S FLUTTERSHY!?
Gone obviously
Yes She is back at her house Phoenix Flame, or should I say Phoenix Inferno?
"Can we just talk normal, this telepathy thing is a little unnerving" I finally say

"Ok I'd like to ask you something anyway."

"Well um...ok...your highness. Anything."

"You weren't always a pony were you?"

"I think you know the answer to that m'lady."

"I also know what we are where you came from."

"I don't have to tell anyone do I?"

"No but my sister and I do have one request."

Uh oh. How many days is it until mating season is over?
Um...At last count.4
Guys ready the link, Ready the LINK

"I don't think your little transformation can't stop us from getting what we want" Said Luna confidently.

"So there's no way out of this is there?" I ask aggressively

"Nope."

Then Luna starts this particular speech.

"Now we like you, and we want you. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours."

I transformed into Phoenix Inferno (minus the Seizures this time)

"Ok I see you chososin the hard way"

I slow time and run up to Celestia kissing her on the horn. This distracts her from trying to stop me. I see Luna trying to magic me to i run over and lick her horn. I know, I'ma a tease. While they're both distracted, I through one of the random windows around the room. Time speeds back up and I fly around the Castle trying to find the best way home. Suddenly Celestia and Luna appear behind me.
"You won't get away Phoenix!"
"We will get what we want"
"Not while I'm still conscious!"

I should've kept my head and eyes straight forward, cause right after I said that I flew through a tower collapsing it. Like Rainbow said, I'm not one for crashes despite being a pegasus, so this knocks me out of my Inferno state. I struggle to get up knowing getting away is almost futile at this point. I feel tingly and then a flash appears. This time it's purple.

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I must've blackout during the flash because when I woke up I was strapped to something again. It wasn't so bad this time around because they had the decency to just blindfold me. I mean if you're gonna be raped...at least try to enjoy it.

"Phoenix Flame...You are charged with attempted evasion of royalty, insubordination and being SDMS while outside." I hear Luna say

"SDMS?"

"Stallion During Mating Season." Celestia explains.

"How do you plead?"

"I plead studly your honors." I say using my best Zapp Brannigan impression.
"I'll say." said Celestia in a wanting fashion.
"We sentence you to 24 hours hard labor."
"With breaks?"
"when we feel like it."

I don't know Phoenix, They say the most reserved females are the freakiest. These two are the most reserved females ever.
It's time to shag baby. Yeah.
No. White. No.

Tried to hard?
Yep.
Sorry.

"It's ok" Celestia Said

"Stop Doing that!" I yelled.

Now until we get ready You're going to stay in the dungeon.

One blue Flash later I'm stuck against the wall in a random prison cell.

Great guys. Now what do we do?
Plan on how to escape
We're doing that now.
You're slipping white
Actually I got him to eat some Poison Joke earlier. Now he's kind of like that pegasus everyone calls Derpy.
Now why would you do that?I knew something was wrong, White never tries for humor.
I thought the result would be funny. Guess I was wrong.
Me too you really are an asshole.In fact...I manage to single out White Fire in my brain to get him to knock out Dark Flare
I hear a couple of random fighting sounds effects when The door to my cell opens. I break out in a cold sweat waiting to see who's gonna come through the door. Inside steps 3 mares. Three mares? Who's the third?

As the ladies step in I noticed White and Dark are both panting, I guess Dark doesn't want to fight today, lucky bastard.

"So what's the deal ladies, the sooner we get started the sooner my sentence ends."

"We just needed some help is all." Says Luna in a matter of fact way.

"So who's the third?" I ask hoping to...well hoping that they didn't call Pinkie Pie.

"Remember me?" Says the familiar voice.

Shit, it's Twilight. So the three most powerful mares in Equestria are about to send me to poundtown. Could be worse.

"So what are you gonna do to me?" I ask curious as to what they are scheming.

"We're gonna separate you so they can be more fun!" Said Twilight.

"Have you done this before?"

"Nope!" The magical females say in unison forcing an admittedly girlish scream of terror from me.

A second later a midnight blue aura surrounded me, then a purple aura, then a white aura. I felt a portal open up on my head then I got a very weird sensation as I felt their magics penetrate the portal. The sensation? It's kind of like when you get a cut on your dong and then your girlfriend tries to (*Slurpslurpslurp). Yeah. It's like that but in my brain all over.

"AAAUUUGH! WHAT ARE-OOH-YOU DOING!" I screamed while trying to fight the sensation entering my head.

"Well It's like Dark Flare and White Fire are running around avoiding our magical sights" Twilight said annoyed

Stop running!This is really uncomfortable!
Keep running, you really feel comfortable? What?
Stop running or I'll envision you in 'cupcakes'.
What's that?
see that door?
Yeah.
Open it right quick and tell me if you wanna keep fucking around.

Two seconds later.

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK, IT'S MY JOB TO BE THE SICK SADISTIC ONE AROUND HERE!
Then let yourself be caught or I'll be forced to put you in Rainbow Dash's place.
I fucking hate you right now Phoenix
Aww take your raping like a stallion!

Five seconds later I felt an unimaginable pain as both Dark Flare and White Fire came through the portal on my forehead.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH!"
"uugh man....where the fuck am I?"
"Oh you're in a dungeon. My most faithful student Twilight and my sister Luna and I are going to rape you all for the next 24 hours." Celestia said.

"uh-uh, I didn't sign up for that."

"Relax, Dark Flare." Luna said seductively."I want you the whole time anyway."

"uuuuh......" Did Dark Flare just blush?

"I'll take White Fire." Twilight said eagerly.

I gulped as I realized who that left me with.

"Are you ready Phoenix Flame?"

This is gonna be a bumpy ride.....