(Ah, so now we come to a chapter written by me, Dyrilby. Tonight we graze in hell!)

In the aftermath of the massive party which involved a buck-ton of sex, alcohol and illicit substances, the city of Manehattan returned to normal. Or at least as normal as it can be with Confetti, Pinkie, Seph and Dyrilby running around. There were still massive explosions randomly happening, the cause of which was Pinkie and Seph filling the sewer with several thousand fire crackers in a drunken rampage. The city hall was a smouldering ruin in a large crater after an atomic bomb had “accidently” been launched from the secret facility in which our heroes were now being held hostage.

“Okay, what the hay happened? How did we end up being tied to chairs by the ESP?” Confetti yelled. (Equestrian Secret Police, FYI.)

“Dude… I’m so high. That light looks pretty… So shiny…” Seph muttered before falling asleep and lolling back in his chair.

“Wait. Why am I here?! I’m not the one who decided to break into the Manehattan Project! Damn it, Confetti! I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you suddenly decide to turn this city in Fallout! Bah!” Yelled Dyrilby, “And where’s Pinkie by the way? She was here a second ago.”

“Surprise! Hehe, silly. Ponies can’t be tied to chairs, because we don’t have hands, silly. I mean, how did they even tie the rope without fingers? That doesn’t make any sense!” giggled Pinkie.

“Oh. THERE she is. Standing behind you, somehow holding a knife. Well that’s just great. Care to untie us, Pinks?” Said  Confetti.

“Sure thing, as soon as I kill Dyrilby, we can all leave.”

“Wait. Kill me? You’re going to kill me? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m getting out of here!” cried Dyrilby, as he unfurled his wings and flew towards the door, but missing it by half a metre and hiting his head on the wall, causing him to fall unconscious.

“Um, Pinkie? I think the Cupcakes joke is starting to get a little old. I think you should put the knife down now too. You’re beginning to scare me.”

“I’m not joking, Confetti. His number came up. It’s his turn to be baked.” She replied.

“Wait. How does he even have a number? He’s an OC, like myself. We aren’t canon, so we don’t have numbers!”

“Oh yeah. Well… My bad. I’ll go wake him up.” She said, before pouring a bucket of water of Dyrilby, waking him up.

“Shit, oh shit, oh shit! Stay the fuck away from me, you crazy bitch!” Dyrilby yelled.

“Calm down, silly! I’m not going to turn you into cupcakes!”

“Can you get rid of the knife then and untie me?”

“Sure thing!”

So our group of assorted individuals, yes they can be bought singly or in a bundle, left the secret facility without alerting the guards. Don’t ask me how, but they all magically seemed to have disappeared. When suddenly: a Smoker from Left 4 Dead appeared and grabbed Seph!

“Hooley shit! Get this thing offa me!” Seph screamed.

Pinkie somehow found a chainsaw and cut the darned things tongue off.

“Wait… What’s with all the alternate universes we seem to randomly appear in? Damn it, authors of this intriguing tale, why do you keep fucking with our minds?! Why?!” Confetti yelled into the night.

As he yelled this, an alert appeared on everyone’s heads up display: Confetti has alerted the horde!

As you can probably guess, this led to much fighting and bloodshed. Fear not though, readers. The heroes can’t die in a story! They must always pull through to defeat the bad guy! Which in this case is likely me, the co-author of this story, for fucking with people’s minds.

Suddenly, in the middle of the massive battle, the TARDIS appeared, squashing the tank. Doctor Whooves jumped out and yelled, “Quickly! Get in the TARDIS so we can put a stop to this madness once and for all!”

Naturally, the heroes followed his advice and entered the TARDIS, and slamming the door on the horde outside.

“Now, ladies and mentlegen, where would you like to go?”

“To the author of this damn fiction's house. I want to tear him apart for making us go through this!”

“Now, now. Let’s not have this end in bloodshed.  If you just get him to behave and not throw you in some other arena for sport, you could let him live. After all, he did send me to rescue you!”

“True enough. I still want to see him though!” said Confetti, “To the authors place of residence!”

True enough, the TARDIS appeared in my, the author of this chapter, bedroom, crushing one of my $500 guitars, causing me to rage so hard my floor turned to lava. Now forgive me, as there are two Dyrilby’s in this part so I must move into the first person of my, the author’s, perspective.

VWORP* *VWORP* *VWORP

“Le huh? Oh shit. No, no, no. This is very bad! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Curse these alternate realities and paradoxes! Damn you to hell, I say!” I yelled in surprise.

“Hello there author. Or should I just call you Dyrilby?!” Screeched Pinkamena.

“Wait, I’m Dyrilby! That’s who I am?! What the hell?!” Dyrilby yelled.

“He is you, Dyrilby. He created you along with the place known as the OC.” Confetti said.

“Yeah, guys, about that… I know why you’re here. You’re here to put a stop to this madness that I’ve created by writing this chapter. I also know how to stop you. Behold: My personal army; /b/! Oh… Wait. Never mind, no personal army. Heh, what do you know? I’ll behave! Don’t kill me! And put that knife down Pinkie!” I said.

“You had better not fuck us over any more than you already have, you bastard!” Confetti yelled.

“Wait. I’m the author of this story! You can’t tell me what to do! I can fuck you over as much as I want!” I yelled before Pinkie jumped at me with a knife, stabbing me in the eye.

“Die, die, die!” Screamed Pinkie.

“Pinkie, stop killing him!” Yelled Dyrilby as he pulled her off of me, “If he dies, we’re stuck here and I disappear!”

“Hehe, oopsie.” She giggled as she pulled the knife out of my face, causing me to yell in pain.

“We’ll let you live then. Now don’t mess with our heads again!” Seph said angrily.

“Deal! Just get that crazy bitch away from me!” I yelled.

And so our heroes entered the TARDIS once again and travelled back to Equestria. Or rather, they would have if I hadn’t wanted to get revenge on them for losing my eye, which had promptly grown back anyway. So I decided to send them to the world of Garry’s Mod.

TO BE CONTINUED Next Chapter: Datdamnface a.k.a DDF: Author's note Estimated time remaining: 1 Minutes