Friday 17

So.. I'm gonna skip that whole "dear diary" crap, and just dive right in. I've decided to keep a journal of my new life here. It's been about a month since the
wedding now, and things are slowly getting back to normal. I don't think I've ever seen Luna so happy, and I've never been this happy either. Now, we
didn't actually take a honeymoon like people in my world do, we just spent a lot of time in our chambers. A whole lot. I wish my old family could have
seen me now, wife and everything..

Thursday 18

I think I finally understand. What Rarity was telling me, I mean. That talk about me "being controlled". I tried to destroy the Jormundgand today, since I
have no further use for it, and something I've never seen before happened: It attacked me. Or rather, that vision of Luna attacked me. Said she needed me,
that I would be nowhere without her. Then she screamed that she needed my power.

I think the Jormundgand has been using me. Aurora told me it was created to house nothing but pure knowledge, and in a way, one might see that as power.
It wanted me to kill Rarity so that it could absorb her power, and then it wanted more, and made me attack Twilight. It just wanted more and more power,
and used my weakness to get it.

Sunday 23

I can't help but wonder.. what if it manipulated my feelings as well? Maybe it twisted my mind into falling in love with Luna, simply so that it could get to her
and Celestia? Are my feelings for her my own, or just some deeply rooted spell?

Monday 10

It's been a while since I wrote, I've been busy with.. well, ruling, I guess. It takes a lot of work to keep order in a country, that's sure. At least I have Luna
to help me, and she fixes the things I don't. I'm lucky to have her as a wife.

Tuesday 22

A lot has happened since my last entry in this journal. In fact, I had forgotten about it, but I found it today, tucked away in my closet. I can hardly believe
it's been two years since last I wrote. I've.. been busy. Being a father takes away a lot of time. Me and Luna have talked a lot about children, but seeing
as I'm human and she's a pony, it's just not possible. God knows, we've tried. But then it happened. No, it wasn't a mistake or unplanned or something
like that, it was a long procedure that we'd planned for quite some time. All we needed was magic. Strong magic.

I'm not really sure how we did it, but with the help of our new Arch mage,(I believe her name was.. Huh, I guess she never told me her name.) we achieved
something we only thought were possible in dreams. This is gonna sound silly, but bear with me.. Fuck, I'm excusing myself to a book now.. Anyway, we
found a way to transform me for twenty-four hours. I got pretty surprised when I looked myself in the mirror and saw a pony staring back at me.

I had a black coat and blonde mane, with a few red stripes in it, which I suspect might have come from Jormundgand. It was a strange experience, and I'll
admit I did panic a bit at first. But luckily, Luna was there to comfort me. Once my original nervousness had subsided, we decided that it was time to try
out our plan. I think we probably spent every second of those twenty-four hours in bed. We really wanted to succeed.

And we did. I now have a son. We call him Stardust.

Thursday 10

I've come to realize that I probably never actually "saw" Rarity. She said it herself, there is no such thing as ghosts, and I don't think she had anything to
do with Jormundgand.. Maybe it was just me all along? That's what Luna thinks, that my "visions" of Rare was actually my sub-consciousness trying
desperately to cope with what I'd done, basically trying to force me into forgiving myself. Whatever it was, I guess I'll never know.

Saturday 12

Today, little Stardust said his first word, "Mommy". Fuck, it's no big deal, but I don't think I've ever been this proud before. I remember the day he was born.. At first, Luna wanted him to have a completely different name. She wanted to name him after me, but I told her that a pony called Mattias.. Is a bit odd. So we went with Stardust instead.

Monday 20

Stardust is growing fast, and he now speaks fluidly, and has started to ask questions about basicly anything. And every night when I sit by the fireplace,
he wants to sit on my lap and watch the fires dance, while I tell him about life on Earth, or how me and his mother met. He's still wondering why I'm not
a pony, and I've explained it.. vaguely. He's not ready for the talk yet.

Saturday 25

Every day now, little Stardust comes up with new things to do, new ways to try and earn his cutie mark. He really doesn't give up, he's so determined to get
it. Yesterday, Luna found him crawling around in the kitchens inside an empty potato sack. Said he would earn his mark by.. well, being a sack.
That boy has some imagination, that's for sure.

Wednesday 16

Today, Stardust turned 15, and.. he earned his cutie mark! I rarely use exclamation marks, so take good care of it, you.. book. Anyway, it's a bit late for him
to earn it, sure, but he still got it. For his birthday, I had arranged for him to learn a bit about fencing, since he's been nagging about me teaching him that
for a long time now. So, I let him try out a real sword, just against the air, though. And the moment he grabbed it between his teeth.. Two crossed blades
appeared on his flank. I guess he's going to be a swordsman. Or rather, swordspony.

Wednesday 21

We have been thrown into war. Yesterday, griffons attacked the eastern shores, and Manehatten was struck bad. I don't know how many died, hundreds,
maybe more, and I don't think I even want to know.. I'm not built for war.

Tuesday 22

Stardust has grown into a fine young man. Or stallion, I guess. Twenty years feels more like three.. Yet neither Luna nor me looks a day older than what we
did when he was born. I think that, when Jormundgand absorbed all that power, something changed, and once it got Celestias powers, I think I might
have been given some of it. Either I'm immortal or just age very slowly, because I haven't aged a day in all these years.

There's been more attacks from the griffons today, and Stardust actually asked me to let him fight them. He's way too bold for his own good. Too fiery.
Asked me to let him lead an assault against the enemy. I told him that he would lead an assault when Tartarus froze. Of course, he isn't too happy with
me, but I have done nothing wrong. I will not send my only son and heir to his grave.

Monday 26

That little bastard ran away this morning. Left a note saying he was determined to make me and Luna proud, that he would join the battle against the griffons.
Luna's been terrible since we found out, she won't stop crying. I can't stand to see her like this, it makes my heart break..

I just hope he'll realize how horrible war and fighting really is, and come back to us. I pray that Celestia keeps watch over him.

Saturday 31

Stardust is dead.

Tuesday 4

We've won the war. The griffons have been pushed back, and Equestria is once again safe, for now at least. But a heavy price was paid for this victory.
Thousands have died, but when I think of Stardust, those thousands dead feel unimportant. We will probably never find his body. Luna won't stop crying.

Don't care which date it is.

This will be my last entry. After this, I will leave this journal in my study. I had been out in town for a walk earlier this morning. I think winter is on its way,
I can feel it on the wind. When I came back home, something felt wrong the moment I stepped inside. I called out for my wife, but she didn't answer.
Upon entering our bedchambers, I found her. She was on the bed, with this journal beside her. She must have read it, and found out about what I've
done. About Twilight and No-Hope.

I don't know how she did it, but she did. Luna, my beloved wife and soulmate, is gone. The knowledge of my actions must have been too much for her.
But it doesn't matter, I'm about to join her. She's actually here in the room with me now, and she's waiting. Rarity's here too, and Stardust. Even Celestia.
They all want me to join them, and I will soon.

"Was it all worth it?" I ask myself as I look down on the lifeless body in front of me. Will I ever be forgiven for this sin?
The figure on the ground before me looks so peaceful, as if it's sleeping.
Will I ever forgive myself?
My god, what a beautiful creature I have ruined..

It's all my fault..

Right now, I feel like Major Tom. Every string to my life has been cut, and I'm about to drift off into the unknown.

I've had a good life. And now, I think it's time for me to finaly rest. Together with me sweetheart, my dearest Luna.

Farewell.