Avarice

Chapter Two

You did it. It was four days, six hours, and twenty seven minutes later, but you did it. You had gone south-west from Manehattan in a direct course towards Ponyville. Unfortunately, this meant that you had to bushwhack through a large forest, traverse through a ravine between two mountains, and nearly get hit by a train as you crossed the tracks. It seemed like everything tried to stop you from reaching your destination. Manticores, basilisks, rockslides, and passenger trains were just some of the things that Equestria threw at you.

You had managed to make it to Ponyville unscathed. Well, mostly unscathed, but that wasn't the point. The point was: you had made it to your destination. It wasn't easy, but you did it. Your legs were sore, your feet were on fire, you had cramps everywhere, but you had still somehow managed to beat the odds and make it your soon-to-be hideaway town. There was only one problem...

You didn't know which house among the dozens was the safe house. Your safe house.

Fuck, you thought, eloquence ever your strong point.

It was nearing dawn, meaning you didn't have much time before the ponies started getting up and about. You knew that you wouldn't be able to find the safe house today; that much you were sure of. You hoped to keep your presence a secret until you had gathered enough information on the local inhabitants to determine whether they would be friendly towards you or not. The ponies in Manehattan had certainly proven to you that they did not like anybody that they deemed strange or otherworldly.

Jackasses, you thought, your thoughts turning ugly upon remembering. I am most definitely not sorry for robbing you xenophobic nutcases blind.

You wiped some sweat off of your brow and continued to ponder your preposterously precarious predicament. Let's see here...I can do one of two things. I can either reveal myself to the ponies now and risk getting the shit beat out of me or, seeing as I have nowhere to stay for the day, I can hide in and amongst the architecture. Hide and watch. Yeah, I think I'll do the latter...

You adjusted the bag that was currently slung around your shoulder and pulled out your ski mask from one of the many pockets in your outfit. You were comforted by the feeling of the black cotton that embraced your head like a second skin as you pulled it on, adjusting it so you could see out of it properly. With your 'disguise' in effect, you cautiously descended down the hill that you had used to observe the town that you would be spending time in.

As you crept along the base of the hill, the sky went from a dark purple to orange in a matter of seconds. You still had trouble wrapping your head around the fact that the moon and Sun here were...controlled by the Princesses. It was completely and utterly illogical, but after Fence had shown you overwhelming evidence that it was indeed possible, you had grudgingly accepted it as fact. After all, it wasn't any crazier than talking, sentient, multicoloured ponies, right?

Nope. Not crazy at all. No siree. You sighed and shook your head, eyes continually scanning for a good vantage point that you could scale to spy on the townsponies. You spotted a large tree in the center of town that seemed to be repurposed to act as some sort of house. You thought that it would be a great spot to observe, as there even seemed to be a conveniently placed balcony near the top. As you started walking towards it, you noticed one glaring problem: you couldn't see a feasible way to climb up.

Damnit! C'mon, think! There's gotta be a spot around here somewhere... you thought desperately, as you were running out of time.

Luckily for you, you caught a glimpse of a strange, tall structure out of your peripheral vision. It looked like it was made of candy, with a gingerbread roof, frosting overhangs, candy cane pillars, and a cupcake on the very top, complete with three candles. What interested you more than the strange architecture of the building was the conveniently placed balcony near the very top. You figured that if you laid down, you'd blend in with the scenery nigh-perfectly.

Quietly laughing, you stealthily ran over to the building and started to climb. You found that the eccentric design of the building gave it a great many hand and footholds, making it perfect for scaling. Less than a minute later, you found yourself lying down and peeking out over the edge of the balcony, your bag of loot tucked away in an indent of the roof.

Making yourself comfortable, you breathed a contented sigh and waited for the ponies to come out.

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Fucking. Bullshit.

These were the words that you repeated to yourself after watching the ponies for several hours.

Motherfucking bullshit.

You had watched the town slowly come to life after the Sun fully rose. You saw neighbours greet each other on a first name basis, friendly vendors sell their goods to equally friendly customers, and you even saw a yellow pegasus stop and guide a family of ducks across the pavilion so that they wouldn't get stepped on by passing ponies.

There was no swearing. There was no conflict. The streets were clean, the drug dealers non-existent. It was as if someone had taken your whole perception and understanding of how Equestria worked and flipped it upside down.

"I feel ripped off," you muttered quietly. "I figured that all of the cities and townships were the same as Manehattan, but no. There happens to be this little fucking oasis just waiting for me, and I get dumped in a shithole..."

You quelled your complaining when you noticed a few ponies beneath you stop and cock their ears, trying to hear. Thankfully, after a few seconds of silence on your part, the ponies went back to doing...whatever it was they were doing. Thank Christ that they didn't look up, you thought. That would've been awkward.

You glanced up towards the Sun, noting its position in the sky. Noonish, you reckoned. You also saw a blue streak speed along across the sky, leaving a rainbow trail in its wake. Probably just yet another physics defying thing in this weird ass world.

With a grumble and a sigh, you slid your way off of the balcony and onto the roof. You made sure to grab your bag before climbing down the back of what you presumed to be a bakery, if the freshly baked smell and ponies exiting the domicile carrying various pastries was any indication.

After landing softly on the hard, cobbled alleyway behind the bakery, you heard a loud growling noise echo off of the walls, seemingly coming from behind you, beside you, and in front of you at the same time. You whirled around, half-expecting a Manticore to be in the act of pouncing. With the luck that you'd been having the last couple of days, it was certainly a possibility.

You scanned the area thoroughly, even going as far as looking under a tarp, but you couldn't find the source of the growl. Frowning, you made to walk towards a small alleyway between two houses that were adjutant to the bakery. A few steps in, you heard the same growl, although this time, you knew exactly what was making the noise.

"Shut up stomach," you whispered to your torso. "Now is not the time."

Your stomach growled even louder in reply, voicing its own opinion on exactly what time it was. For crying out loud, you thought to yourself. It's only been two days since I ate. Two...whole...days...

You glanced down at your stomach, feeling newfound respect for the tenacity of your digestive organ. "Alright, fine, you make a good point. I am really damn hungry." As if to punctuate your admission, the smell of fresh baked cookies wafted over to you. Mmm...cookies...

You glanced at the back door of the bakery and noticed that there was no place to put a key. What the hell? No lock...? You leaned your bag against the outside wall and carefully placed a conveniently placed tarp over it, doing your utmost to stifle the noise. You reached over and tested the door. To your surprise, it was unlocked and swung open with a quiet creak.

This is too easy, you thought. Far too easy...

You crept into the bakery and closed the door behind you with a soft click. Following your nose, you smelled your way into a moderately sized kitchen. You didn't have to worry about creaky wooden floorboards, as the floor seemed to be made of slate or some other type of stone. Probably to make spills easier to clean up, you reasoned.

The kitchen was empty at that point in time and you could hear the voices of several ponies nearby, presumably customers along with the shop owner. Your eyes were drawn to a fresh batch of cookies that were laid out along a cooling tray, beside the large oven. Chocolate chip, you thought as you sniffed the air expectantly. My favourite. Rubbing your hands together greedily, you grabbed four of the cookies as quietly as you could and then snuck back out the rear entrance, closing the door behind you and laughing in your head at how easy it was.

You grabbed your bag and made your way towards the other small alleyway you spotted earlier, in-between two smallish houses. Normally, you would've blatantly disregarded sitting on the ground, as Manehattan was definitely not a clean city. Ponyville, on the other hand, seemed like everypony did their part to keep the town hygienic and sanitary.

Sitting down on the hard ground, you leaned up against one of the walls and ate your cookies. They were really good, too.

************************************************************

The all-too familiar sound of hoofsteps clonking towards your rough direction woke you up with a start. Sonofabitch! Freakin' cookies! Why did you betray me, body? There will be time for sleep when I figure out which bloody house is mine, you thought to yourself. You cocked your head to determine which direction the noise was coming from so you could pack up and move if need be.

"Are you sure you heard something, Lyra?" called out a pony from a lot closer than you would have preferred.

"I'm positive, Bon-Bon," replied another pony, the one you presumed to be 'Lyra'. "I heard somepony mumbling to themselves back here, loud enough for me to hear it through the wall."

Ah, bugger, I guess I still talk in my sleep. Fuck, this is not what I wanted right now...

"Well, if you're sure, then let's get to searching."

Swearing softly to yourself, you stood up as quietly as you could manage, slinging your bag over your shoulder in the process. You could see the two ponies shadows slowly grow as they trotted towards you. As a master of stealth, you managed to tiptoe around the corner before they caught sight of you and proceeded to pummel your face in.

C'mon now, you thought, trying to dispel your own fears. The ponies here should be nice, right? Yeah, I could walk up to them, say hello, and...

You felt a phantom pain in your chest, in exactly the same spot where an angry earth pony had hit you with enough strength to break three ribs and nearly puncture a lung.

...Or I could keep out of sight and not risk it.

You may have been a slightly insane kleptomaniac, but that didn't mean you liked to take risks. They just happened to pay better, that's all. At least, you kept telling yourself that in the hopes that it would actually come true.

Making an agitated grumble-like noise in the back of your throat, you decided to climb back up onto the bakery that you recently robbed. Never go back to a crime scene, a small voice inside of you scolded as you went from handhold to handhold. Always have an escape route.

"Shut up, brain," you mumbled as you dragged yourself onto the roof. It wasn't exactly easy scaling the side of the bakery, so you took a few seconds to catch your breath before peering over the edge.

No less than thirty seconds later, the two ponies that you heard before walked directly underneath you, talking quietly amongst themselves. Do ponies never look up? you wondered.

Sighing with relief, you turned around in an attempt to find some other crevasse to call your own for the time being. You didn't make it a single step.

Right in front of you, jumping up and down like it didn't have a care in the world, was a two-toned, vibrant pink pony. It's mouth was going a mile a minute.

"HiI'mPinkiePiewhat'syournameohmygoshIhaven'tseenanyponylikeyoubeforedoyoulikecookies?!"

Naturally, you said the first thing that came to mind.

"...Bollocks."