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Dr. McNinja goes on an Equestrian Adventure

by Mysterious Stranger

Chapter 20: Epilogue: The new era

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Radical Land, two months before the founding of Equestria

Discord yawned as he woke up from his slumber. The spot he had picked to sleep was underground, a mere pocket among millions of rocks mashed together by pressure. Because it had no tunnels or exits, it was completely devoid of air. For Discord, the lack of oxygen hadn’t been a problem to his napping. Discord willed himself to be intangible as he shot straight up from his granite bed. Through layer after layer of earth he traveled. A faint and unreasonable hope was inside his heart. Discord truly wished that Rainbow Sparkle had recovered from his transformation by now. Discord desired a real friend, not just another worshipper. It was this hope that urged Discord on faster and faster until he reached the surface of Radical Land.

Discord blinked in surprise when he saw his surroundings. The Radical Land he saw was not the Radical Land he knew. There were no trees. No castles. No skateboard parks. No rivers of mountain dew. No life. The entire land was black, burnt away by a fire that couldn’t have had natural causes. A frown of puzzlement appeared on his Discord’s face. Had long had he been asleep?

“Discord! My God!” A voice suddenly cried out in joy.

Discord felt the magical aura of the speaker before he appeared. The speaker was Alondro, King of the Windigos and Discord’s first attempt at creating a real friend. The being was an entity of wind and ice, chilly breezes that whirled around while still maintaining the general form of a horse.

“Where have you been?!” Alondro practically sobbed like a child. “I haven’t felt your presence in nearly three weeks!”

“I was taking a nap,” Discord replied flatly, not at all thrilled by the reunion.

Many times throughout the eons Discord had considered thinking his failed friend attempts out of existence. Sometimes he had, only to find himself extremely lonely afterword. His worshippers were not true friends, but at least he could talk to them.

“You were asleep for three weeks?” Alondro said in disbelief.

“I’m part dragon,” Discord explained. “Sue me.”

“I would be more than glad to file a lawsuit against my God!” Alondro declared happily, completely oblivious to Discord’s sarcasm.

“Yeah whatever,” Discord yawned. “Since you’re here, why don’t you tell me why Radical Land is nothing but charred rock?

“Oh, my Lord, it was a glorious display of chaos! A great army ravaged the land with fire!” Alondro said gleefully.

“An army huh? Was it being led by a unicorn with a rainbow colored mane?” Discord inquired.

“Not that I saw,” Alondro admitted. “Nor any of my Windigos.”

Discord gazed over the land, his senses extending even further for any sign of life or magic. But Radical Land was now nothing but an empty husk. Discord was silent as he took it all in. The death. The silence. The stillness.

“This is boring!” Discord yelled at the sky.

Discord snapped his fingers and a table appeared in front of him. With a howl of rage he flipped it over, but it did nothing to lessen his frustration.

“Perhaps you could create some chaos?” Alondro suggested.

“What’s the point?” Discord demanded to know. “There’s no one around to toy with!”

Discord crossed his arms and levitated in a sitting position for a much needed pouting session. For several minutes he sulked, until his dark mood was punctured by the sharp needle of inspiration. As the details began to form in his mind, a smile crept over his face.

“Ooh! What are you going to do?” Alondro asked eagerly when he saw Discord’s smile.

Instead of responding, Discord straightened and lifted his right arm, his paw open. With a mighty tremble, the continent that was formally Radical Land began to rise. Rocks cracked and fell from the underside of the massive land as the ocean began to flow in beneath it with a loud roar.

“Up is down,” Discord smirked as he made a lazy gesture with his paw.

Slowly but surely, the land began to rotate. Mountains on one side became stalactites on the other and black charred earth was replaced with fresh brown. Discord chuckled when he saw that diamonds and other precious stones were now abundant on the top instead of miles below. The light of the sun glistened on the exposed treasures, creating a multitude of reflected colors that lit up the entire land with their brilliance.

“Beautiful! Just beautiful, God! Your works are wonderful!” Alondro cheered.

“Yeah yeah, I know that,” Discord agreed distractedly as he studied the new country.

In Discord’s opinion, it was a good start to a new age of chaos. Not that it would exactly the same as before. After all, chaos had destroyed Radical Land and all its inhabitants. Therefore, if he wanted it to last longer, he would need chaos of a different variety. Namely, chaos that was a lot less lethal. For Discord, it was hardly a sacrifice. He didn’t make chaos for the sake of killing everyone, he did it for the thrill of messing with them. If non-lethal chaos lasted longer, then he was certainly ready to try it.

Discord snapped his fingers, and trees randomly shot out from the ground all over the new continent. Cracks in the ground for rivers and lakes popped into existence as well, waiting to be filled.

“Alondro,” he announced as he turned to look out to the sea. “I have a mission for you.”

“Yes, God! Anything you want!” Alondro said eagerly.

“I want you and your fellow Windigos to search the planet,” Discord informed him. “And I want you to find the most easily riled up race in existence. A race that would lose their cool in the face of even the slightest grievance. Bonus points if they’re a rather cute species and already have a lot of racist tension.”

“And what should I do when I find them?” Alondro pressed.

Discord turned back to the new land and smiled.

“What should you do when you find them? Why, convince them to come here of course,” he replied.

Author's Notes:

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed the story. One last shout-out to Totallynotabrony for all his help with editing and ideas. Of course, props to my sister for making the cover art and to Jamey4 for the cover art background. Also, now that you've read the entire story, it's not to late too rate if you haven't already.

Best wishes,

-Mysterious Stranger

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