I've decided that Fridays will be the day for guest submissions, and I'm going to follow some general guidelines for "Guest Submission Friday" (Name may need changing [it kinda sucks], and I'm posting this at the beginning of each guest submission this week (and eventually somewhere else) so you all will be guaranteed to see it.);

1. So readers don't die of riff overload, I'm going to post no more than 5 guest submissions each Friday. The last thing I want is for twenty riffs to be released on one day and only two or three the following week. Consistency and all that.

2. Only one riff per riffer each Friday. This is the rule I'm most likely going to make an exception for. If I have fewer than five riffs from different authors, I'll most likely remove the limit for that week.

3. Extraordinarily long riffs that are broken into multiple parts I'm going to spread out over the course one or more weeks. These don't count towards the one riff per week limit.

4. First come first serve. I'm not going to play favorites or anything. I'm posting the guest submissions in the order I receive them excluding when I receive multiple riffs from a single person. Then I'll push those riffs to next week.

5. No riffs by me. It's "Guest Submission Friday", not "RatherHomely Posts Silly Riffs Friday".

If you have any questions or suggestions about this, feel free to contact me.

We now return you to your featured Guest Submission.

I unfortunately didn't have a lot of time to closely read this one, so this intro is kinda pointless.

...

... It's "The Shadow in a Friend riffed by RJBachelor!

Enjoy.

Turn down your lights. (If there’s an alicorn available.)

In the not too distant future

Up in Equestrian space,

Twilight Sparkle and her friends

Are stuck in a nasty place.

Sent up there by the new Nightmare Moon

An evil mare trying to rule the world soon,

So she got the drop on the Mane Six

And put them into one hellva fix.

[Nightmare Moon]

I’ll send them cheesy movies

And the worst fics I can find, (La la la)

I’ll make them view them all

Until I break their minds! (La la la)

Now keep in mind Twilight can’t control

Where these things begin or end, (La la la)

She’ll try to keep her sanity

With some help from her friends...

EoH roll call:

Applejack! (What the buck?)

Fluttershy! (... Yay.)

Pinkie Pie! (Party time!)

Rainbow Dash! (I’m awesome!)

Raaarity! (Fabulous!)

If you’re wondering how they eat and breathe

And other science facts, (La la la)

Just remember: it’s just a show

You should really just relax...

For Mystery Equestria Theater 3000! (Twang!)

*SoF*

[The bridge is decorated to the nines for Nightmare Night;

Streamers, fake web, jack-o-lanterns, the whole thing. On the

console in a tray of blue cupcakes with what looks like rainbow

frosting on top. A knife embeds itself right next to the cupcakes as

camera pulls back to reveal Pinkie Pie. A very straight hair, crazed

look, covered in something dark red, and grinning like a cheshire

cat Pinkie Pie.]

Pinkie Pie: Hi everypony, and welcome to Satellite of Friendship and

Nightmare Night. A time not only of ticks and treats, both good and

bad... But also a time when the creatures that hide in the shadows

the rest of the year can come out play with everypony else. Of

course, without the need to stay hidden, what’s to stop them during

this day?

[Applejack, dressed in a blue farm dress and pigtails, comes in

dragging a basket for apple bobbing.]

Pinkie Pie: Nice ruby boots Dorothy. Cupcake?

[Applejack takes a cupcake and eyes it a bit wearying.]

Applejack: Where did you get these cupcakes?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, a certain blue pegasus had a hand in it...

[Applejack eyes the cupcakes wearying again, then Pinkie Pie. Pinkie

continues to have that demented smile on her face... Well, until

hair starts to vibrate faster and faster until it poofs back to its

normal curly look, along with Pinkie herself.]

Pinkie Pie: ... Nuts. Anyway, I got a recipe from Northern Breeze

at The Rainbow Factory bakery in Cloudsdale. ‘Best light and airy

cupcakes in all of Equestria!’

[Applejack starts eating the cupcake as Pinkie starts re-

straightening her hair via a comb and a lot of hair spray.]

Applejack: Oooo, raspberry filling. Okay, so what’s with the get-up?

Usually you go for something less horror inclined for a costume.

Pinkie Pie: Well, since I can’t get much candy up here, I decided to

go the scary route this year, so I went with the psycho killer

theme. Now if my hair will only stay straight when I need it to...

Twilight Sparkle: (offscreen) C’mon Fluttershy, nothing’s going to

happen.

Fluttershy: (offscreen) Are you sure? I mean you usually can’t tell

who’s who during Nightmare Night. It could actually be a goblin, or

a werewolf, or... eep...

Twilight Sparkle: (offscreen) Considering that’s it’s just the six

of us up here, I’m sure that’s not going to happen.

[Twilight Sparkle, dress in wizard robes, glasses and short grey

beard, comes in pushing a shaking sheet that’s in the shape of a

pony with two eye holes poked in it.]

Applejack: Fluttershy? You finally decided to join us on Nightmare

Night?

Fluttershy: Well, I heard that one of the ways to face and

understand your fears is to become them. So dressing up for tonight

might help...

Pinkie Pie: Standard ghost costume. Well, you do have to crawl

before you can walk.

Twilight Sparkle: And I’m Gygax the Great.

[The other three give Twilight a tad dumbfounded look.]

Twilight Sparkle: The unicorn that came up with the mathematical

equations for magic attack against defense?

[Still dumbfounded.]

Twilight Sparkle: He helped redefined the entire way magic battles

are done!

[STILL dumbfounded. Pinkie just shrugs.]

Twilight Sparkle: ... Fillystines.

Pinkie Pie: Oh don’t worry Twilight. I’m sure Gary was great.

Twilight Sparkle: Gygax.

Pinkie Pie: Him too.

[As the other three consoles Twilight, a tall, slender, pale white

pony wearing a business suit rises from behind them and looms. It’s

hard to tell which one it’s looking at since it has no facial

features at all. The other four seem to notice it at the same time

and turn towards it.]

Rest: Slendermane!

[All four, eyes wide with fright, back up as Slendermane follows

them until they hit the wall. The faceless creature seems to tower

over them, waiting... until it starts to break out into a fit of

laughter causing it to lean up against another wall.]

“Slendermane”: Pfffffttthahahahahaha! Oh, you should see the looks

on your faces!

Fluttershy: Rarity?

[Rarity magically pulls the Slendermane mask off her head, still

giggling a bit.]

Twilight Sparkle: ... That costume’s good. REALLY good.

Rarity: I know; I always make my own costumes for Nightmare Night.

And I almost always place first in the annual Ponyville costume

contest.

Twilight Sparkle: Huh, I didn’t see you out last year though. What

happened?

Rarity: Well, I was going to as Little Filly from that one game, but

I needed a Big Stallion to really hammer it home...

[Rarity shoots Applejack a dirty look.]

Rarity: And if SOMEPONY just asked her brother to be that Big

Stallion, it would’ve been perfect.

Applejack: And I told you Big Mac was busy like he is every year

before Nightmare Night: Building the Sweet Apple Massacre haunted

barn and wagon ride at the farm.

Rarity: Humph. Anyway, I didn’t have enough time to make a new

costume, but at least it wasn’t a total wash. I was able to work on

the holiday orders while giving out candy.

[An oddly familiar metal tune starts to build, rather quickly and

loudly.]

Rarity: And what is that racket?

[Rainbow Dash flies in, covered in red and yellow “armor” and poses.

The music seems to be coming from her.]

Rainbow Dash: That’s right, who’s the Iron Pony? This pony right

here.

[Rainbow Dash continues to stand there while the music also

continues to blast, looping a few times. It quickly annoys the

others.]

Rarity: Rainbow Dash? Can you turn that music off?

[Rainbow Dash give the rest a sheepish look while rubbing the back

of her head.]

Rainbow Dash: Yeeeeah, that’s gonna be a problem. You see, somepony

else is going to have to do it.

Rarity: Okay, how?

Rainbow Dash: ... Smack my flank.

Rest: ... WHAT?!

Rainbow Dash: It’s the only place I could put the sound chip, but I

can’t reach while I’m wearing it! It’s kinda under the costume

itself, so somepony’s going to have to smack my flank to turn it

off.

[The other look at each other and then huddle. There a bit of murmur

and one can see Applejack visibly wince before they turn back

around.]

Applejack: ... Fine. But you owe me.

[The others watch as Applejack takes aim at Dash’s flank and begins

smacking. The music changes volume, tempo, even songs, but doesn’t

stop.]

Fluttershy: ... Is this really necessary?

Pinkie Pie: Who knows, but you wouldn’t believe how many wanted to

see it.

[Right as Applejack lands another hit to Rainbow Dash’s flank, a

sinister grin crosses the pegasus’ face. The Commercial Sign also

starts flashing.]

Rainbow Dash: Ooooh, do that again!

[Applejack looks a bit ticked at that last comment. She rears back

just as Pinkie hits the commercial button.]

[MET3K logo. A heavy WHACK is heard over the bumper music.]

Rainbow Dash: YEOUCH!

[Come to Six Flags and ride the newest coaster: The Republicanator!

Loop-the-loop statements, hairpin and harebrained turns, and insane

spirals downwards! And best of all: NO BACKTRACKING, no matter how

stupid it gets! Come ride it before they do something else and we...

The said what? They did? ... The Republicanator will be shut down

until we can add *more track.* But come to Six Flags anyway!]

*SoF*

[Rarity and back-to-straight-hair Pinkie are teaching Fluttershy how

to be “scary,” while Rainbow Dash leans up against the console with

an ice pack on her flank.]

Rarity: One more time.

Fluttershy: (barely audible) .... boo.

Rarity: A little bit more...

Fluttershy: (A few decibels loud) ... Boo?

Rarity: Hmmm, it needs some oomph...

[Pinkie lets loose a noisemaker right next to Fluttershy as she

tries again.]

Fluttershy: ...booOOOOOOAUGH!

Rarity: ... Perfect.

[Applejack and Twilight trot in, dumping the shattered remains of

the sound chip on the console.]

Applejack: Okay, new rule! No more stupid gimmicks put in places

that make it difficult to deal with.

Rainbow Dash: Agreed.

[The Lab light starts flashing. Twilight quickly taps it.]

Twilight Sparkle: Speaking of something in a place that’s difficult

to deal with...

*The Lab*

[The Lab is also decorated for Nightmare Night, though a bit more

subdued than the SoF. Nightmare Moon is lounging back in a chair,

enjoying a bit of candy.]

Nightmare Moon: Oh what’s the matter girls? A bit ticked you don’t

have a holiday to call your own?

*SoF*

All: July Thirtieth.

*The Lab*

[Nightmare thinks about that for a second, and then a sneer crosses

her face when she realizes what day that is.]

Nightmare Moon: ... Shut up! Anyway, I’ve figured out how to keep

the kids away from the Lab. It’s not lack of decorations, a dark

domain, or threats of death and dismemberment. It’s all about what

you give out and I found perfect thing...

[Another bucket hovers into view, this one filled with toothbrushes,

floss, mouthwash, and the like.]

Nightmare Moon: Dental supplies! And word must’ve gotten around

because nopony has rung the doorbell in nearly two hours!

*SoF*

Pinkie Pie: Dental supplies? Why not give away pennies or apples

instead?

Applejack: Hey, I give away apples on Nightmare Night!

Pinkie Pie: ... And when’s the last time the farm house hasn’t been

egged?

[Applejack opens her mouth for a retort, but then quickly closes

it.]

Pinkie Pie: Exactly.

*The Lab*

Nightmare Moon: Say what you will, but I get to eat the good stuff

in peace and qu~

[The doorbell for the lab starts ringing off the wall. Nightmare

Moon is looking kinda pissed, but also somewhat perplexed.]

Nightmare Moon: ... Probably that one kid nopony talks to. Ah well,

one more should insure quiet for the rest of the night.

[Nightmare Moon goes over and pops open the door to the Lab, bucket

full of dental hygiene goodness at the ready.]

Nightmare Moon: (deadpan) Yeah yeah, Nightmare Night, what a fri~

[Nightmare Moon stops dead in her tracks, a look of complete fear on

her face. On the porch is a certain light blue unicorn, with a

hourglass cutie mark and hair that looks like a specific brand of

toothpaste. There’s an unnerving smile on her face.]

Colgate: ... Bruuuuuushieeeeeeee...

Nightmare Moon: ... OH SHIT!

[Nightmare Moon slams the door to the lab as fast as she can. As she

starts locking it, the doorbell starts going off again.]

Nightmare Moon: ShitshitshitshitshitshitshitSHIT! Snips! Snails!

[Snips & Snails rush into view, halting in front of Nightmare Moon,

who’s now leaning up against the door.]

Nightmare Moon: Lockdown the Lab completely! I don’t want anything,

especially HER getting in here!

[Snips & Snails salute Nightmare Moon and her orders... but as soon

as they do, the ringing stops dead. All three jump back, look at

each other, then at the door.]

Snails: Maybe she’s gone?

Nightmare Moon: ... I’m going to open it.

[Nightmare Moon goes back to the door and slowly undoes the locks.

After she undoes the final one, she pauses and then flings the door

open to... an empty porch.]

Nightmare Moon: ... She’s gone. Oh thank the goddess she’s...

[As if on cue, the lights in the Lab go off. The emergency lighting

crank on a moment later, giving an even eerier feel to it. Snips and

Snails have Nightmare Moon’s legs in a death grip.]

Nightmare Moon: ... She’s *inside the Lab.* And you two have a half

a second to let go of me and go get the equipment for a forcible

eviction!

[Snips & Snails detach themselves from Nightmare Moon’s legs and

bolt offscreen. Nightmare Moon turns her attention back to the SoF.]

Nightmare Moon: While I deal with this little problem, you six get

one of your own! It’s the next Griffy story: A Shadow in a Friend.

Griffy turns evil... I think. I know he turns black. Apparently

that’s enough these days.

[There’s a loud clatter from the direction of where two young colts

went off to. Nightmare Moon’s eye twitches a bit again.]

Nightmare Moon: ... But since it’s kinda short, even by Griffy

standards, and dealing with my problem down here may take a bit,

I’m tossing up a couple of pieces of spam to buff it up. Just think

of it like an extra couple of razor blades in your crunch bar.

Trick or... Well, it’s definitely NOT a treat.

*SoF*

Pinkie Pie: This is just like getting candy corn.

Fluttershy: Spam? On top of Griffy?

Applejack: The last thing we need is Griffy and penile enhancement.

Rarity: Oh THERE’S a painful image that’ll linger for a while.

[The lights and klaxon star going off.]

Rarity: Speaking of painful images, we got Fanfic Sign!

(Door 7: The heavy steel door with the Nightmare Moon logo on it.

It wheels to one side.)

(Door 6: The top of a cardboard box. It pops open easily.

(Door 5: Clouds. They part like a curtain.)

(Door 4: Tom the Boulder! Rarity quickly shoves him out of the way.)

(Door 3: Princess Celestia’s locker. A replica of her horn is

inserted into the hole, and it opens with a slightly noticeable

moan.)

(Door 2: The Ponyville Library door. First only the top opens, then

closes. The bottom then follows suit. Then it swings the wrong way.

Finally, it opens the right way.)

(Door 1: The safe. It unlocks and swings open.)

[Seated from left to right, and partially in costume: Fluttershy,

Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.]

Rainbow Dash: Maybe Griffy’s the Prince of Gabbagon?

Pinkie Pie: [Griffy] I have fallen into a large amount of gold.

Please to be sending your bits as so I can get it and send to you!

> Good Day.

Rarity: And good day to you, bot of spam.

> This is to inform you that this office was instructed to pay

> your alocation fund $1.500.000.00 Million U.S.A Dollars

Pinkie Pie: 1.5 million MILLION dollars.

Rainbow Dash: Cha. Ching.

Twilight Sparkle: Actually, it’s $1.50 U.S. A Dollars.

Applejack: That ain’t enough to buy a coke.

> bit by bit

Fluttershy: [spammer] We’re going to pay you all at once? Are you

nuts?

> as authorized by the America security Tax Force team

Applejack: Protecting your right to be audited for over 80 years.

> and America representative embassy immediately ,hencefort ,

Twilight Sparkle: Therefore, furthermore, and nevermore.

> you will be receiving the sum of $15,000 Dollars per day.

Applejack: Starting on the Twelfth of Never.

Rarity: (sarcastic) I will mark my calendar for the occasion.

>

> However, be informed that we have send you the sum of $15000

> Dollars this morning to avoid cancellation of your payment,

Rainbow Dash: Dumped it right in your account without you knowing!

> you have to call this office upon the receipt of this email

> because the maximum amount you will be receiving per day starting

> from today is $15000 as split in three different payments

Twilight Sparkle: 1.5 million in 15,000 chunks through three

payments. How much will you get?

Rainbow Dash: Absolutely nothing!

Twilight Sparkle: That’s right! Pinkie! Tell her what’s she won!

Pinkie Pie: Absolutely nothing!

Rainbow Dash: Yeaaaa... hey!

> and the Money Transfer Control Numbers of today is below.

>

> Sender's Name; = James Willson

Fluttershy: Man, did he go downhill after House.

>

> MTCN:630 021 7288

>

> MTCN:655 875 8900

>

> MTCN:456 676 1235

>

> Text Question: what color is your car.

>

Twilight Sparkle: The same as a tree’s when it falls in a forest

with no one around.

>

>

> Once again be advice to reconfirm your information such as;

>

>

>

> Name;

>

> Address;

>

> Cell phone number;

>

> Age;

>

> State;

>

> Country;

>

> Occupation;

Rarity: And please print these in big letters with crayon to confirm

your intelligence.

>

> Furthermore, you advised to call and communitate

Applejack: In better English than this.

> to MR.DAVID CHITEX JOHN

Fluttershy: He must be important! He has two first names.

Pinkie Pie: And lead rapper of the group Rednex Mafia.

> E-mail ([email protected] )for your payment infos details

> as the instruction was passed that without hearing from you.

Twilight Sparkle: Spam! Why should it bother to try and make sense?

> Count your payment cancelled. Number to call is below ,address

> your calls to the managing director office of release

> order:+229-99-86-80-75.

Pinkie Pie: Bingo!

> and e-mail as well.

Rarity: Both. At the same time. Or you get NOTHING.

>

> Thanks Dr.Mrs.Judy Amos John. Sec.

>

Rainbow Dash: Dr. Mrs.? Isn’t she married to the Monarch?

Applejack: (Singing) Now Judy Amos John was a Spammer; she lived by

her self in a basement funk. She spammed dumbasses for livin'; she

just knock 'em in the inbox with some junk.

>

> Dearest Friend,

>

Rainbow Dash: I'm not your friend, guy.

Pinkie Pie: I'm not your guy, buddy.

Rainbow Dash: I'm not your buddy, pal.

Pinkie Pie: I'm not your pal, friend.

>

> My name is Mrs. Susuan Patrick, I am married to (Eng Mr.Pius

> Patrick)

Fluttershy: To have and to hold, in sickness and health, in

parentheses and brackets...

> from United Kingdom (U.K) who has an appointment in Tokyo, Japan

> as the chief Managing director to(Abbes Suzuki Association Tokyo-

> Japan) under Engineering project/contract awarding section.

>

Rarity: [Susuan] Can you tell him how to get to the airport? He’s a

bit slow.

>

> My husband died as a result of brief illness called heart attack,

Twilight Sparkle: A real brief illness.

Applejack: The only symptom was “Hhhnnnnnngggg!”

> while he was coming back from (ASA) new location area on project

> inspection on Saturday 10th December 2006.

Applejack: ... Wait. December Tenth of ‘06 was a Sunday.

Rarity: (faux surprise) You mean this person is... lying?

> Before his death as a result of our joint account venture we have

> $7.3 million (US) dollars in our fixed deposit account.

>

Twilight Sparkle: They’re from one country, he worked in another

country, and was paid in currency for ANOTHER country.

Rainbow Dash: Would you like some swampland to go with that crock?

>

> Dear one

Pinkie Pie: Why do I feel like I’m be talked to by my aunt?

Fluttershy: [old] C’mhere dearie and have some five-year-old lemon

drops.

> I was brought up as an orphan and was married to my late husband

> for 5 years without a child and am of age, I am 37years now and

Rarity: Hooked on Phonics didn’t work for you.

> am suffering from kidney infection and a long time cancer of the

> lungs,

Twilight Sparkle: A roundabout way of saying “I smoked like a

chimney and drank like a fish.”

> which has partially affected my brain,

Applejack: Considering the email, I’m inclined to believe that part.

> and from all indication my condition is really deteriorating.

>

Pinkie Pie: [Susuan] I may have to stop pandering to the internet!

>

> According to my doctors, my health is very poor because of the

> cancer ailment,

Twilight Sparkle: (sarcastic) You don’t say!

Rarity: It’s better than a brief illness, like a heart attack.

> I can not stay to live up three months ahead, and I am having

> serious problem with my husband's family members.

Fluttershy: [Susuan] They simple don’t believe that I want to give

away money by stealing other’s!

> I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.

Applejack: And we know where this spam is going.

> I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14

> VS 14

Rainbow Dash: LIVE! And only on Pay-per-view.

> says that the lord will fight my course and I shall hold my peace.

Rarity: God will fight for your right to steal money from others

while you plead the fifth.

> Therefore I need a God fearing person who will assure me that

> he/she will use this fund to help the Motherless babies,

Twilight Sparkle: How does that even work?

Pinkie Pie: Scootaloo.

> Orphanage, Charity organization and less privileged once, and

> using for word of God.

>

Fluttershy: [Susuan] But screw doing that myself, I’ll email random

people to do it instead!

>

> I took this decision because I don't have any child that will

> inherit this money.

Twilight Sparkle: And willing it to a charity would be too easy.

> As soon as I receive your reply [email protected] I

> shall give you the contact of the Bank.I want you to always pray

> for me because I don't have many days to live.

Applejack: She then outlived every single person on the planet.

>

> Thanks

> Yours Mrs. Susuan Patrick

>

Fluttershy: You’re not my Susuan. Mine knows better.

>

> The Shadow in a Friend

Rarity: As you can see on the x-rays here...

>

> By Wesdaaman

Pinkie Pie: (singing) Daa... Daa... Daa... DAA MAN! Daa man daa man

daa man.

>

> Chapter 1: The Irritation Starts

Twilight Sparkle: The burning, the itching.

Fluttershy: There are creams for that.

>

> What if there was something dreadful inside you?

Rainbow Dash: *Belch* Nah, I’m good now.

> This dreadful thing is something that makes you unsettled. What if

> one day, it revealed itself by making you, its host, wickidly

> evil?

Rarity: Depends. Do you want sharks with lasers on their heads?

> Would you try and fight it as best you can?

Applejack: Yeah, but none of that’s probably going to happen here.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> For a while, Griffy (the Pygmy Griffin) was at first happy for his

> seven friends (Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie

> Pie, Applejack, Rarity and Spike) were the represenatives of the

> Elements of Harmony.

Pinkie Pie: And for the parentheses keys, and how awesome they are

(if used properly).

> But pretty soon, jealousy was slowly creeping into his soul very

> fiercely.

Applejack: How can you slowly creep fiercely?

Rainbow Dash: I don’t know, but I think it involves a box.

>

> He tried not to think of his yearning for being a hero, for that

> only made him feel worse.

All: (singing) I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night!

He's gotta be wrong, and he's gotta be egotistical, and he's gotta

be runnin’ from the fight!

>

> To Be Continued

Rarity: The only way this could be shorter is if it said “Griffy got

all emo and stuff.”

>

> Chapter 2: Reports

Twilight Sparkle: Lit: F. Sociology: F. Biology: F. Music: C-.

Stupid curve.

>

> Reports were then going around Equestria on rumors about two odd-

> looking Creatures snooping around the nations, searching for

> something.

Pinkie Pie: Hobbits.

>

> All the residents of Ponyville gathered for a town meeting.

Rarity: Well, they tried. Kept being interrupted by other ponies

wanting to see the mayor birth certificate and bitching about

health care.

>

> "Attention fillies and gentlecolts", anounced the mayor, "I

> believe you are all aware of the strange sightings of a bulky-

> looking, gray-colored Creature with Horse hooves and mostly the

> resemblance of a hornless Rhinoceros working with a tall, green-

> colored, Crab/Spider-like Creature with a hooked horn on its head

> and an almost Pony-like face?"

Rainbow Dash: [random pony] No, we’re here for the free food!

>

> Everypony and other Creature in the crowd nodded in agreement.

Fluttershy: [Mayor] Don’t worry. The contamination in the water

supply should subside by the end of the week, thus ending these

hallucinations.

>

> "We should all be ready", she continued, "To defend ourselves if

> they try anything life-threatening towards us all. Because they

> could come around here pretty soon"

Applejack: [Mayor] Pitchforks to your right, torches to your left.

Every third pony gets a noose.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> As all the citizens departed for home and being vigilent about

> those two wierd Beings, Griffy pointed out something to Twilight

> and Spike.

Rainbow Dash: [Griffy] I have not been portrayed as awesome in like

a chapter and a half!

>

> "These two Creatures sound like those mutated versions of Chop and

> Digger", the Griffin said.

>

> "Oh yeah", said Spike, "Didn't you say you met those two a while

> back on your journey for a new home?"

Twilight Sparkle: [Spike] It’s not like they locked us up during

that whole ant invasion thing...

Rarity: Continuity? In these stories?

>

> "And you said they were just two regular homeless Ponies?", added

> Twilight, "A Unicorn Pony and an Earth Pony?"

>

> "That's them all right", Griffy answered, "I still can't believe

> that they now serve darkness"

Rarity: [Griffy] The Bum Fights were open...

Pinkie Pie: Darkness has got a good dental plan.

>

> "Maybe those two mysterious Beasts could be Chop and Digger",

> suggested Spike.

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 3: Lack of Sleep

Fluttershy: Who needs sleep?

Applejack: Well you're never gonna get it.

Fluttershy: Who needs sleep?

Applejack: Tell me what's that for?

>

> Later that night, Fluttershy could not help but wonder what was

> coming over Griffy as she watched him pass by her house to get to

> his Maple Tree home. She decided to ask him what was up.

Twilight Sparkle: Did we just miss some story?

Applejack: Enh, it was just plot. Who needs that?

Rarity: [Fluttershy] I knew something was wrong. He was walking. Who

walks?

> After all, she was one of his closest friends.

Rainbow Dash: Right behind us five, Angel, all the other animals at

her place, the bear she wrestles, the manticore in Everfree...

>

> She finally caught up with him just when he was a couple more feet

> from his Tree.

>

> "Griffy", she asked softly.

Rarity: [Griffy] So close...

>

> "Oh, hey Flutter", Griffy moaned, "I'm just going down underneath

> my Tree to update the archives with the reports of the two

> maraculous snoopers around Equestria"

Pinkie Pie: GRIFFY WATCHES ALL.

Twilight Sparkle: So Griffy keeps track of everything that happens

in Equestria. That does not sit well.

>

> "You have an archives chamber beneath your Tree?", asked

> Fluttershy in amazment, "How do you get down there?"

Rainbow Dash: [Griffy] To quote Aerosmith...

Rarity: [Fluttershy] You have rats in your cellar?

>

> "There's an elevator inside the trunk of the Tree that leads to an

> underground cave beneath this Tree and that's the archives",

> answered Griffy,

Applejack: [Griffy] I got rid of all those roots. I don’t think

they’re needed.

> "It's filled with many ancient stories from the past as well as

> old objects such as weapons, fossils and the body parts of Animals

> that are still alive today.

Pinkie Pie: Archive or mad scientist lab?

> PS, I got help with building the archives place from Snips and

> Snails. Man, those two numbskulls will do anything for hay

> smoothies"

Applejack: Explains soooo much. At least on our end.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rainbow Dash: Better than a perfect game.

>

> "Anyways", said Fluttershy, "I really wanted to know why you have

> been acting so slow and blue lately. You're not acting like your

> usual funny and smart self"

Rarity: [Fluttershy] If you don’t mind the in story ego stroke.

Twilight Sparkle: [Fluttershy] It’s like you’re slowly becoming a

better OC.

>

> "Something's up with me all right, but I really can't put my talon

> on it", Griffy answered,

Fluttershy: [Griffy] Probably just a brief illness.

Rarity: One can hope.

> "In fact I haven't been sleeping very well for the past few days"

Applejack: The clue stares him right in the mug and... nothing.

>

> "Aaaawwww", said Fluttershy, giving Griffy a gentle hug, "Poor

> Griffy, you must be having an emotional problem"

Rainbow Dash: I would say get some drugs but the joke’s been run

into the ground.

Rarity: Really? Considering on much stuff these stories fall back

onto we’d still be on the high road if we did.

>

> "Perhaps you're right", said Griffy. He then kicked the base of

> his Tree, which caused one of the branches to lower down to his

> height.

Pinkie Pie: Nature bends to Griffy’s whims.

> He then got on the lowered branch and turned around to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: [Griffy] If you’ll excuse me, I have an oak that’ll be

doing the Macarena in an hour.

>

> "I'll see you and the rest of the gang tommarow", he said as he

> yanked one of the branch's smaller limbs sticking out and that

> caused the branch to go back up into its regular place.

Twilight Sparkle: Kids? This is the reason why climate change is

bad.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> At 11:00 PM, Griffy was already starting to have nightmares.

Applejack: [Griffy] No... No... I don’t want to play a lot for this

muffler...

> This time, he was having one about being confronted by an enormous

> black cloud with glowing red eyes.

Rainbow Dash: It’s the fart in the elevator no pony wants to admit

to!

> It spoke to him in a ghastly voice that Griffy would soon be

> enjoying its company.

Rarity: [voice] We will have tea! And crumpets! Mwhahahaha...

>

> Griffy then woke up to find it was still very late and realized

> that this was going to be a long night, just like the past few

> nights.

Pinkie Pie: TIME FOR NOT TO GO TO BED.

Rainbow Dash: Well, nothing to do but watch infomercials for the

next three hours.

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 4: Pinkie Fun does not Work

Twilight Sparkle: It lives off of welfare instead.

>

> Griffy headed over to Sugar Cube Corner the next morning after

> breakfest, and wondered if he might do bad at washing dishes

> today, due to bad sleep last night.

Rarity: [Griffy] No, no call immigration! I good! I clean yes?

>

> He opened the door rather slowly and was immediatley grabbed hold

> of by the scruff of his neck by Pinkie Pie's teeth.

Fluttershy: After escaping from her mouth because of all the sweets

she was eating.

> She quickly rushed him with him into the kitchen and finally

> dropped him onto the floor.

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie: Party pony and the manager from hell.

Rainbow Dash: [Pinkie] You’re late! Get to work!

>

> "Glad to see you could make it!", yelped Pinkie with happiness.

Applejack: [Pinkie] I was afraid I would have to do some actual work

today!

>

> "Yeah whatever", grumbled Griffy, rubbing the back of his neck,

> due to the bite Pinkie had left on him while holding him like that

> for no apparent reason.

Pinkie Pie: [Griffy] Treat me like Norman why don’t ya... Uuuugh.

>

> As soon as Griffy was washing the used dishes in the sink, Pinkie

> could not help but feel sorry for what ever was bugging him.

Rarity: Well, it did have to lower its standards.

>

> "Hey, do you need some cheering up Griffy?", asked Pinkie in an

> almost flirt-like fashion.

Fluttershy: [Griffy] Sure!

Twilight Sparkle: [Pinkie] Well good luck with that. Start scrubbing

some pots.

>

> "I don't think I'm in the mood for one of your crazy cheer-ups",

> sighed Griffy.

Pinkie Pie: ... WRONG ANSWER.

>

> "Are you sure?", asked Pinkie in a comical fashion.

>

> "Alright", moaned Griffy, "Show me what you got"

Fluttershy: [Pinkie] In the middle of the store? Okay...

>

> Pretty soon, Pinkie zoomed out of the kitchen and came back with a

> Bananna suit on and holding maracas in her front hooves and

> started to sing a very akward song about Peanut butter and jelly.

Twilight Sparkle: ......... *WHY?*

Rainbow Dash: Which part of funny does this fall under Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, the “complete and utter dogshit” variety.

>

> "Sorry", replied Griffy in the end, "It's just not doing it"

Applejack: [Griffy] Let’s get some midgets, that might get it up.

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 5: Stunts and Spies

Rainbow Dash: The true tales of Secret Agent Super Dave.

>

> As Griffy departed Sugar Cube Corner for the day, he wondered to

> himself why he was not himself still.

>

> "Why am I not as busy as an Apple-Loosan?", he pondered to

> himself.

Applejack: Janitor at the spa, helper at Rarity’s, dishwasher at

Sugar Cube Corner, and you maintain an archive. Appaloosans seems

lazy compared to that.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> Pretty soon, he stopped by Rainbow Dash's house and knocked on her

> cloud door.

Applejack: Promptly putting his fist through it.

Twilight Sparkle: [Griffy] Stupid water vapor!

>

> "Rainbow", he asked as she answered, "I think I need some

> professional help"

Rainbow Dash: I have a sign that says “The doctor is bucking

awesome.”

Rarity: [Dash] Long term care at an asylum. NEXT!

>

> "The best kind of theropy I do is do awesome stunts in the air!",

> she said with coolness,

Pinkie Pie: Do as I so is do, don’t as I say is do.

> "Do you think that will help you out, Griff?"

>

> After a few laps through the air and swating at the small clouds

> with Rainbow, Griffy did feel energized in the end but emotionally

> not.

Rarity: Just like drinking a can of Red Bull.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> Meanwhile, some 2 miles away in a dark canyon, the two Mega-Ant

> venom-mutated homeless Ponies (Chop and Digger) were searching for

> something.

Twilight Sparkle: Something interesting? Oh please say it is.

>

> "Can you believe we were temporarally friends with that Pygmy

> Griffin back at that mountain forest near Hoofington?", mused

> Digger his new, creepy voice.

Rainbow Dash: [Digger] We never found happiness either!

>

> "Yeah, I still don't believe we got super powers now", replied

> Chop in his new, deeper voice.

Fluttershy: [Chop] I got this thing called puberty.

>

> "You imbosell", Digger snapped,

Rarity: Sell all stock in IMBO!

> "We are not super-powered, we are geneticaly altered from the

> Mega-Ant venom, remember?"

Pinkie Pie: So they’re Captain Aenictinae?

>

> Just then, an evil-looking figure appeared from the shadows. It

> was a Rat with glowing, yellow eyes and a case of Mange Mites.

Rarity: Ah, the comforting blandness of generic crap.

>

> "The boss says to keep searching for the 8th spirit", said the Rat

> to them, "But this time, you should actually hurt others if they

> intentionally get in your way"

Rainbow Dash: [Chop] What if it’s accidentally?

Twilight Sparkle: [Rat] Get them to go in on that time-share then.

>

> "Tell the master that we shall not fail", replied Digger.

>

> "Yeah", added Chop.

>

> And the Rat slipped away into the shadows.

Applejack: Later that day they failed.

Rainbow Dash: [Chop] D’oh!

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 6: Signs of Darkness

Pinkie Pie: Only slightly less annoying than the signs for Meramec

Caves.

>

> Later that night, the old-acting Rat snuck into Ponyville,

Fluttershy: [rat] Damn kids, get off my lawn! Pestering me while my

shows are on...

> trying not to be seen by any resident.

Twilight Sparkle: It’s a bitch spreading the plague.

> The Rat finally reached its destination, Griffy's Tree. It climbed

> into the Tree and spotted Griffy sleeping, panting, sweating and

> twitching in his sleep, due to him having another nightmare.

Rarity: [Griffy] No... Don’t leave me Drew Carey...

> The Rat snuck over to him, approached his ear and whispered.

>

> "Master", it whispered, "Any progress yet?"

Pinkie Pie: [rat] I know this isn’t Chekov, but...

>

> "So far so good", said a ghostly voice from Griffy's ear, which

> followed with black mist coming from the sleeping Griffy's ear,

Applejack: Okay, when your earwax takes sentience its time to get

some q-tips.

> "Soon, this Pygmy Griffin shall be the one who shall locate the

> Spirit of Friendship, and I shall indeed destroy that spirit so no

> living thing will be able to stop me"

Rainbow Dash: [rat] What about an orbital rail gun strike?

Twilight Sparkle: [mist] Hush.

>

> "How are you getting anything good out of him my lord", asked the

> creepy Rat.

Applejack: [rat] He’s an OC. He’s filled with hot air and

masturbation.

>

> "This Griffin's stress is what I am getting that is good", replied

> the mist-eminating voice, "His jealously, It is so delicious"

Fluttershy: However Aarón Sánchez thought it was undercooked.

>

> "So long for now, great and supreme one", said the Rat with a

> formal bow and scurried out of the Tree.

Rarity: Might be a disease ridden rodent, but he does know his

manners.

>

> Chapter 7: Shadow Griff

Rainbow Dash: See, play long enough and you start unlocking

characters.

>

> Griffy woke up the next morning feeling very odd, with many aching

> pains coarsing through his body.

Fluttershy: And a wet spot on his sheets.

> He also had this overwhelming desire to hide in a dark and shady

> place, outside of his Tree.

Rainbow Dash: Listening to god-awful depressing music.

> Pretty soon, Griffy was just zooming out of his Tree, flying as

> fast as he could and into a dumpster in an ally.

Rarity: [Griffy] Someone tossed out a tux last week!

>

> Spike and the six Ponies all wondered what had happened to Griffy

> later that day, for he had not been seen by any living being all

> day.

Applejack: Great. Now we got to bother the dead.

>

> "We should probably go searchin' fer 'um", suggested Applejack.

Twilight Sparkle: [Applejack] ... What are we doing again?

>

> "I concure", said Rarity, "Today is a day were he is supposed to

> assist me in my clothes designs and be janitor at the spa, and I

> have not seen him at either place"

Rainbow Dash: Instead he assisted at the spa and cleaned up the

boutique. It’s Wacky!™

>

> As the seven searched for Griffy all over Ponyville, time passed

> and they were all still searching while it was dark. Rainbow Dash

> then spotted what looked like a dumpster shaking.

Pinkie Pie: Oscar’s moving up in the world.

>

> "I think we may have found him", she called down to the other six.

Fluttershy: [Dash] Never mind, it’s just Gary Busey.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> As the seven approached the dumpster with caution, they also could

> not help but notice that as the dumpster shook, it was letting out

> black-colored fumes.

Applejack: Well, that’s not a good sign. Garbage going bad like

that.

>

> "Gr-Gr-Griffy", whispered Fluttershy to the dumpster.

Rarity: Now now Fluttershy, no need to dis Mr. Nolte like that.

Rainbow Dash: Though all three are full of garbage.

>

> "Griffy is no longer here", replied a loud, deep and evil-sounding

> voice from within the dumpster, "You may now call me.."

Twilight Sparkle: If he says Zuul...

>

> Suddenly, the dumpster flew open and a dark purple smoke shot

> right out of it and started to take a new shape.

Rainbow Dash & Twilight Sparkle: Wonder Twin powers activate!

Twilight Sparkle: Form of a greenhouse gas!

Rainbow Dash: Form of a bland character!

> It was turning into Griffy, but his fur and feathers were all

> black, his wings were much bigger, his tail looked like a spear,

> his eyes were as red as blood and he was wearing dark blue armor

> (the same armor that Nightmare Moon wore).

Fluttershy: He looks like a Truxican wrestler moonlighting as a

dominatrix.

Applejack: Anymore black and he’d be crapping bats.

>

> "SHADOW GRIFF!", he called out in a very evil version of his own

> voice.

Rainbow Dash: So Griffy’s not only has gone emo, but also got into

goth and crossdressing.

Rarity: [Shadow Griffy] Does this make my ass look fat?

>

> To Be Continued

>

Pinkie Pie: With Griffy: The new black. [Pinkie’s hair starts

vibrating, and then poofs back to being curly.] Oh for the love

of...

[1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -6-7]

[The Bridge. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are pondering, of all

things, hitting the Lab button.]

Rainbow Dash: I can’t help but be curious about it.

Fluttershy: What’s there to be curious about?

Rainbow Dash: Well, I’ve never dealt with Colgate before; you have.

 What is she going to do?

Fluttershy: It’s hard to explain. Colgate’s usually a calm mare, but

 when she gets in one of these moods... Well, it’s best to let her

 get it out of her system as fast as possible.

Rainbow Dash: So Nightmare Moon fighting it...?

Fluttershy: Worst and dumbest thing to do.

Rainbow Dash: Damn, now I’m even more curious.

[Rainbow Dash hits the Lab button.]

*The Lab*

[Nightmare Moon and Snails are starting up at Snips, who is

currently glued to the wall of the lab in a cocoon made of denture

cream. Snails then grabs Nightmare by the face.]

Snails: There's something in here waiting for us, and it ain't no

 mare. She’s picking us off one by one... We're all gonna die. Game

 over man, GAME OVER!

[Nightmare Moon gives Snails a quick backhoof to the face, knocking

him silly and forcing him to let go. A toothbrush descends like a

reverse periscope from the ceiling behind them and just out of their

line of sight.]

Nightmare Moon: All she did was pick off the stupider of you two.

Snails: Aw, gee, thanks!

Nightmare Moon: That wasn’t a compliment, you twit. Look, there’s

 still two of us and one of her. It not that hard to get rid of...

[Nightmare Moon and Snails look at each other, then quickly turn

around, but the brush had already vanished.]

Nightmare Moon: ... C’mon, before this goes on any longer.

[As Snails trots off, Nightmare notices that the channel to the SoF

is open.]

Nightmare Moon: Hey! Back to the theater! Now!

*SoF*

Rainbow Dash: Should we tell her?

Fluttershy: Do you think that would stop Colgate?

Rainbow Dash: ... Point.

[The klaxon start going off.]

Fluttershy: Oh my, Fanfic sign!

[7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1]

[The other four, including back to straight hair again Pinkie, are

in their respective seats as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy take

theirs.]

Twilight Sparkle: So how bad is it?

Fluttershy: Oh, she’s screwed.

>

> Chapter 8: The Tale of the Past

Pinkie Pie: Meh, needs three more “a”s

>

> "What's happened to you Griffy?", exclaimed the seven in shock.

Rainbow Dash: In a shameful showing of synchronized stun.

>

> "Allow for me to explain mortals", said this new evil Griffy.

Rarity: [Shadow Griffy] I believe the phrase is “I’m your god now.”

>

> "I am a spirit-like being that tries to posess any living thing

> that I feeling great hatred, jealously or any negative thing like

> that.

Pinkie Pie: So he’s the embodiment of the GOP?

> In this case, I have taken control of Griffalonius Von Masterton

> III's body, for he was very very jealous that he was not a

> represenative of the seven Elements of Harmony"

>

> "How long have you been inside him?", asked Rainbow fiercely

Fluttershy: [Shadow Griffy] Since we got back form that bar last

 night. And it was more of an in and out motion.

>

> "Well you see", said the evil Griffy, "I have been around for

> millieniums, and have done many evil deeds in the past;

Applejack: [Shadow Griffy] I lasered my named into the moon! ...

 kinda.

Rainbow Dash: [Shadow Griffy] I bucked with Wu-tang.

Pinkie Pie: [Shadow Griffy] I put these guys on a satellite...

Rarity: [Shadow Griffy] I supported Ron Paul.

> for I am the source of all evil. I AM mass destruction. I AM total

> chaos. I AM THE Master OF EVIL!

Twilight Sparkle: [Shadow Griffy] I am the one, the only, single,

 solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence!

 Interloper of lawlessness! Menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil!

 I am Mojo Jojo, er, Shadow Griffy! Hahahahahaha!

Applejack: You sound like you’ve done that before.

> For I was the reason why Princess Luna turned into Nightmare Moon,

> for I had posessed her body when she was most jealous of her older

> sister's day, those many years ago.

Fluttershy: [Shadow Griffy] And what a day! Rrreow.

> When Luna was redemed, I slithered away into the shadows in my

> true form, which has the resemblance of a black cloud with glowing

> red eyes,

Twilight Sparkle: Smog everypony! Bringer of climate change and pure

 bucking evil.

> and I quickly posessed Griffy at that very moment.

Applejack: [Shadow Griffy] Because going with the griffin that lives

 in the park and eats random critters was the better choice than

 ponies with... the... powers... aw shit. I request a do-over!

Rest: REQUEST DENIED.

> Since then, I had been residing in his body, feeding off his anger

> and misery whenever he would unleash it. Yes, with ever bite I

> took, I grew stronger and stronger.

Rarity: Without realizing that anger if full of saturated fats.

> I later sensed that the legendary eighth Element of Harmony, the

> Spirit of Friendship, was about to reveal itself and supposedly

> defeat me,

Rainbow Dash: What? There wasn’t a build or even vintages leading to

 it! Crappy booking...

> so I hired Chop and Digger to search for it, while my posessed Rat

> minion would deliver messeges between me and those two idiots"

Applejack: Why didn’t we go get the Elements of Harmony and kick his

 ass during all this?

Rarity: Because he’s evil and he was divulging. And that would’ve

 been rude.

>

> "There's an eighth Element of Harmony?", Spike responded in

> confusion, "How many spirits are there anyways? 5,000?"

Pinkie Pie: Hey, self riffing story! Makes our jobs easier.

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but most of those Elements are Hong Kong

 rip-offs.

>

> "What is your name you demonic entity?", Twilight asked fiercely.

Rainbow Dash: [Shadow Griffy] It would be hard to pronounce it in

 your tongue.

[Rainbow Dash gets magically bapped by Twilight.]

Twilight Sparkle: NO.

>

> "History has given me many names",

Rarity: But what's puzzling us is the nature of your game.

> responded the thing inside Griffy through Griffy's mouth,

Applejack: And let’s stick with that orifice, shall we?

> "But you may call me by one of my local names, which is Kurayami"*

Pinkie Pie: Look what I can pull from Google Translate!

Twilight Sparkle: Griffy no baka.

>

> "There shall be nothing you 7 weaklings can do to stop me, for I

> have the physical abilities of a Pygmy Griffin now!",

Rainbow Dash: ... Um, yeah. That’s not exactly a good thing.

> anounced the evil thing through Griffy's beak,

Fluttershy: Story’s making sure we’re still going through the same

 hole.

> "Mwa-ha-ha-hahahaha!"

Rarity: Oh generic evil laugh, how I missed you...

>

> To Be Continued

>

> * The Japanese word for "Darkness"

Rainbow Dash: Still spreading!

>

> Chapter 9: Info on the 8th Spirit

Rainbow Dash: The eighth element is a crappy plot device used by OCs

 to hopefully put them on the same level as the first six...

>

> Shadow Griff then, after doing his evil laugh, twirled around in

> the air and, in a flash of red and black light, was gone.

Rarity: One of these days I would like to see the evil one disappear

 in a flash of laser yellow and lime green light.

>

> "Looks like we have some history on the 8th Element to research",

> said Twilight to the six others.

Pinkie Pie: But where are we going to look?

Twilight Sparkle: ... The Library?

Pinkie Pie: But all we have is the book tree!

Twilight Sparkle: .........

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> The seven friends were then at Twilight & Spike's house (the Book

> Tree),

Pinkie Pie: See?

Twilight Sparkle: ... Celestia dammit.

> searching for any information on the 8th Element of Harmony. But

> as they all searched, they new that time was short and that the

> fate of the entire universe was at risk.

Fluttershy: Why are we the ones saving the universe?

Applejack: All the other aliens are either pacifists or pussies.

>

> "I found it!", sang Pinkie Pie in an annoying way.

>

> "Where'd ya'll fahnd it?", asked AJ.

Rainbow Dash: [Pinkie] It was under ‘E’!

>

> "Under the old legends and prophesies section of books", answered

> Pinkie.

Rarity: Which ones?

Pinkie Pie: ALL OF THEM.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> The seven then found the chapter about the history 8th Element of

> Harmony, the Spirit of Friendship:

Twilight Sparkle: “One day, somepony wanted to have their own

 Element of Harmony. But upon finding out that all six have been

 taken, they decided to make their own without thinking about it fit

 in with harmony.”

>

> Just a few years after Celestia and Luna's ancestors had defeated

> the Antmen and hid the existence of the 7th Element away, they

> decided to create some new sort of guardian, that would not go

> evil and would defend the whole world from the forces of evil.

Rainbow Dash: [announcer] It is the Element of SuperFriendship.

> So they created the 8th Element of Harmony, the Spirit of

> Friendship, which was also given a mind of its own. The form the

> Element decided to take was that of a giant living stone statue

> soldier Pony with the powers of fire, liquid water, ice,

> subterrainean earth, stone, air, light, gravity, magnetism,

> electricity, acid and sonics.

Twilight Sparkle: So we made a golem.

Rarity: [Yiddish] Oy vey, and such a ruckus it made.

>

> Over time, the "Great Stone Pony of Friendship" protected

> Equestria from all evil threats and even created smaller, Deer-

> sized duplicates of itself to make the powerful force stronger.

Rainbow Dash: [Stone Pony] WE ARE LEGION.

> But however, these small copies could not defend themselves

> against one particular threat, the evil entity-like being of many

> names, Kurayami.

Applejack: Who could be defeated by a stiff breeze.

>

> Thank's to Kurayami, the smaller stone guardians fell one by one.

> This evil being continued to cast out its unrelenting shadow

Fluttershy: Alfred Hitchtrot?

> and planned to send all living things across the planet into a

> deep slumber, so that this dark being could create a time of dark

> order

Pinkie Pie: ... In a dark place while wearing dark clothing and

 reading dark stories.

> and awaken the world as their conquerer.

Rainbow Dash: Meet the new boss, same as the old.

>

> Reluctantly, the Great Stone Pony of Friendship battled against

> this evil spirit thing, hoping to defeat it.

Rarity: [Stone Pony, whiny] Do I haaaaave to? Can’t some other

 gigantic thing do it? Isn‘t Gamera on call or something?

> All of its elemental powers did not work on this wicked beholder

> of darkness.

Twilight Sparkle: [Stone Pony] I cast magic everything at the

 darkness!

> So the Great Stone Pony of Friendship summoned its best power of

> all that had hardly used in a while, the Harmony power of

> Friendship; itself.

Rainbow Dash: [Stone Pony] Hnnnnng...

[Pinkie makes a farting noise.]

Rainbow Dash: [Stone Pony] Aaaahhhh.

> Kurayami was defeated, but not gone.

Applejack: It vowed revenge at the Royal Rumble.

> Kurayami had become very weak from that blast of Harmony power and

> could do nothing more than posess bodies of living Organisms.

Rarity: Allegro, chassé, pas de cheval...

>

> The Great Stone Pony of Friendship then decided to pass the torch

> of leadership to a new generation of guardian hero, a female Pygmy

> Griffin

Twilight Sparkle: Made by ponies, is in the shape of a pony,

 protects the ponies... Bucks the ponies over when it dies.

> (no relation to Griffy).

Rarity: And already the character is the highlight of the story!

Pinkie Pie: [Griffy] I’m Griffy Griffin.

Fluttershy: [female griffin] And I’m Nameless Griffin.

Both: [ditto] ... No relation.

> The Great Stone Pony of Friendship passed the power on by turning

> back into the Spirit of Friendship and went inside that Griffin's

> body, giving her its powers.

Rarity: And giving her a coronary when it blocked an artery.

>

> Kurayami tried to destroy this Pygmy Griffin and the 8th Element

> inside her, but she was well armed and Kurayami disappeared; but

> that evil being said that it would return someday and that you

> cannot destroy it, for it is immortal (practicaly nothing).

Applejack: So it’s everything AND nothing at once?

Rainbow Dash: So what happens when you divide infinity by zero?

Twilight Sparkle: No! You can’t d~

[There and explosion and the screen goes to static.]

[The picture is reestablished, apparently via Pinkie since she’s in

tipping the camera back to position. The others staring daggers at

Rainbow Dash as Pinkie retakes her seat.]

Twilight Sparkle: DON’T DO THAT!

Rainbow Dash: (sheepishly) ... sorry.

>

> The Spirit of Friendship then departed the female Griffin's body

Fluttershy: [SoF] Yeah baby, I’d stay but you have to realize I’m a

 free spirit. I can’t be shackled to just one being.

> and decided to retire in the great old temple in which the other

> Elements of Harmony had always resided.

Rainbow Dash: [Olmec] Hidden beyond the Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

> It then took an unknown form, in order to camuflougue itself from

> any new evil threats and it has been disguised in the temple ever

> since.

Twilight Sparkle: Is it the Element of Friendship or the Element of

 MacGuffin?

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "Wow", said Spike, "That's a pretty intense tale"

Applejack: [Spike] It made me want to get my own Element of Harmony!

 ... wait...

>

> "So Kurayami was the real reason why Princess Luna turned into

> Nightmare Moon and why Griffy has turned into Shadow Griff?", said

> Rarity, "I think that this evil fellow might not really have a

> taste for good fashion like I do"

Rarity: At least SOMETHING is staying the same between the stories.

>

> "But what puzzles me is..", said Twilight, "Why did Celestia tell

> us that the reason why Luna bacame Nightmare Moon was because

> there was a spark of uncontrolable magic within her which resulted

> in evil behaviour?"

Twilight Sparkle: It’s had to be really evil then.

Fluttershy: Why?

Twilight Sparkle: I used the British spelling.

>

> "Perhaps she just wanted to let us all understand the threat of

> Kurayami taking control of you when you are at your most bitter,

> but without actually knowing of this evil Being", suggested Spike.

Applejack: [Spike] Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a tin foil hat I

 need to make.

>

> "Now we have to save the world, the 8th Element of Harmony, and

> poor little Griffy", said Fluttershy, "All he wanted to be was a

> hero, like the seven of us"

>

> "We've got a universe to save", anounced Twilight heroically, "Now

> let's go!"

Pinkie Pie: [Fluttershy] What about Equestria?

Rainbow Dash: [Twilight] Buck that, Pluto first!

>

> To Be Continued

>

> 10: Temptation Crawls In

Rarity: Drunk off its flank AGAIN.

>

> Spike and the six Ponies realized that this new journey would have

> to lead them through the EverFree Forest to get to that ancient

> temple they have visited before.

Rainbow Dash: New journey! Same trip.

Twilight Sparkle: Which would be the Ancient Castle of the Royal

 Pony Sisters. Which wouldn’t have existed since the eighth element

 was made before they were born. So how did it hide in someplace

 that didn’t exist yet? [Twilight curls into a ball in her seat,

 rocking gently.] Not going to think about it, not going to think

 about it...

> Spike, unlike the Ponies, was feeling more braver;

Applejack: We shat brix as soon as we seen the forest.

> for hew realized that the EverFree Forest was indeed his true

> homeland.

Rarity: That’s like saying Fluttershy knows her way around the

 Emerald Isle because she’s part Irish.

Fluttershy: (vaguely Irish) Aye, and ‘tis a fine place it is.

> As they all trecked through the forest, they still could not get

> over the scary feeling of being in a forest at night.

Pinkie Pie: Do I need to sing again?

Rest: NO.

>

> That's when Spike stopped to eye some interesting-looking Ferns

> with a blue phosphoresence eminating from them.

Rarity: [Spike] Free nights and weekends with a purchase of a Razor?

 Sign me up!

>

> "Glow Ferns", identified Spike, "It's a good thing I live in a

> library"

Pinkie Pie: [Spike] I might have had to Wiki it!

>

> That's when he realized that he was lost, seperated from the six

> girls.

Rarity: Isn’t this the same reason why we don’t take him to the mall

 anymore?

[Twilight slowly gets up]

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, he gets distracted by the lights from the

 arcade and he gets ‘lost.’

Fluttershy: Feeling better?

Twilight Sparkle: ......... I will, after I riff the Celestia-

 damned, ever-loving bucking FUCK out of this story.

>

> "Hello?" he called out, "Where are you ladies?"

Rainbow Dash: [Spike] I have many bits! I can make it rain!

>

> All of a sudden, the deep and creepy-sounding version of Griffy's

> voice came from the dark shadows.

Applejack: Griffy is being presented in THX surround sound.

>

> "Spike", it spoke, revealing two blood-red eyes just floating

> there in the shadows, "It is me, Shadow Griff"

Twilight Sparkle: And now we turn into a crappy Saturday morning

 anti-drug PSA.

>

> "W-w-What do y-you w-w-w-want from m-me?", Spike stammered in

> fear.

Fluttershy: [George Bailey] You want the moon Griffy?

>

> "Why are you even bothering in assisting those Ponies?", replied

> Shadow Griff,

Rarity: [Spike] Hello? Number one assistant for three years running.

> at that moment; revealing his true form (that armored evil version

> of Griffy), "Were they ever actually your friends?"

Twilight Sparkle: Well, yeah.

Pinkie Pie: We did forget to invite him to your birthday party.

Rarity: And we did ditch him at the Gala.

Rainbow Dash: And where was he when~

Twilight Sparkle: OKAY, I get it. Remind me to bake him a “Twilight

 needs to end her guilt trip” cake when we get back.

>

> "Well yeah", said Spike, "Twilight, specifically, has always been

> my best friend"

Pinkie Pie: [Spike singing] You've stood by me girl, I'm happy at

 home, you're my best friend!

>

> "You believe that gold mine of lies?", said Shadow Griff,

Applejack: [Shadow Griffy] Here, believe mine instead.

> "Sparkle never saw you as a friend, only as an assistant"

Rainbow Dash: Plus occasional footstool and living card catalogue.

>

> Spike's heart nearly sank from shock

Fluttershy: Uh-oh, a brief illness!

>

> "No", he said with small tears of sadness, "You're wrong, she's

> always cared for me"

Rarity: [Shadow Griffy] You’re acting like she hatched you or

 something.

>

> "But do you not remember?", replied Shadow Griff, "Princess

> Celestia sent her to Ponyville to make 'friends', meaning you were

> never her friend, only her servent/slave"

Rainbow Dash: And pack mule.

>

> "B-b-b-b-but-but" Spike stammered

>

> "Join me", said Shadow Griff, "You and I, a Pygmy Griffin and a

> Mountain Dragon, we are EverFree Forest inhabitants"

Twilight Sparkle: Anakin called. He said “That crap didn’t work for

 me.”

Rarity: [Spike] But getting my mail forwarded is such a bitch.

>

> All of a sudden, Spike's eyes started to turn slightly orange with

Pinkie Pie: Jaundice.

Twilight Sparkle: No, that’s more yellow.

> evil creeping into his heart.

Twilight Sparkle: And that would be red.

Pinkie Pie: Maybe it’s evil jaundice?

>

> "I'm listening", he said in a deep tone of his regular voice.

Fluttershy: [Spike as Barry White] Awww yeah. The ladies will come a

 runnin’ now.

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 11: Betrayal

>

> Spike had finally caught up with the girls and encouraged that the

> seven of them should keep moving.

Applejack: Encouraging via a cattle prod.

Rainbow Dash: [Spike] C’mon fat flanks! Move it move it!

> Twilight got very worried, for she could see that Spike's eys were

> not his his usaul green color, but a new orange color that looked

> very creepy in the light of the moon.

Rarity: But dashing in the afternoon sun!

Twilight Sparkle: Judging on the story’s spelling and such, Spike’s

 not the only one with eye problems.

>

> By the time the 7 friends reached the temple, they all started

> searching for any seemingly camouflagued items in hopes that they

> would find the 8th Element of Harmony.

Twilight Sparkle: Has anypony found anything?

Applejack: Ark of the Covenant.

Fluttershy: I’m in the Amber Room.

Rarity: Anypony need a Faberge Egg?

Rainbow Dash: What in the buck is a Templar?

Pinkie Pie: A tunnel leading to... Oak Island?

Twilight Sparkle: No, we’re looking for something important that’s

 been missing for years!

> Eventually, they all found something strange about the temple's

> main structure, the structure in which the other Elements used to

> rest upon.

Applejack: (inspecting the structure) ... “Made in Taiwan.”

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "Did you all actually think you could all find the 8th Element so

> quickly?", said a very familiar voice

Fluttershy: [Rainbow] Well, we did have a FAQ.

>

> And just like that, Shadow Griff emerged straight out of the

> shadows.

Rainbow Dash: [Shadow Griffy] Hi everyone! I’m evil™!

>

> "The Spirit of Friendship is right here!", he anounced, pointing

> at

Rarity: Please don’t say his crotch...

> the structure.

Rarity: Whew.

Fluttershy: [Shadow Griffy] ... MY structure.

>

> "What?", everyone, except Spike, gasped.

>

> "Now you shall never retrieve it", continued Shadow Griff as he

> then created a force field around the structure disquise of the

> 8th Element.

Pinkie Pie: [Shadow Griffy] Keep away! Keep away! Na-na-na-na-na-na!

>

> "You mean we've been staring at the 8th Spirit this whole time?",

> said Rainbow

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "Come now Spike", said Shadow Griff

Fluttershy: [Spike] ... Okay master. (Pervertly) Oooooohhhhhhh

 yyyyyeeeeaaaahhhhhh...

Twilight Sparkle: [Shadow Griffy] Oh Celestia, not like that!

>

> "Yes, my lord", replied Spike as he walked over to Griffy.

>

> "Spike!", exclaimed Twilight, "What are you doing?"

>

> "Why would you care?", growled Spike, "You never really cared for

> me, Sparkle!"

Rarity: And Spike hits the teenage years with gumption.

>

> "I-I don't understand", stammered Twilight in horror.

>

> "You never saw me as a friend", replied Spike, "Only as an

> asisstant. You only came to Ponyville so you could make FRIENDS!

> Meaning I was never your pal!"

Pinkie Pie: [Twilight] But ponies come a runnin’ when you got a pet.

Rainbow Dash: [Spike] Not helping.

>

> The six Ponies realized that something terrible had just happened,

> both their male friends had gone to the dark side.

Applejack: Of beer, sheds, hoofball, and leaving the seat up.

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 12: Signs of Hope

Pinkie Pie: Reminding you that you have finally passed the Mermac

 Caves.

>

> "Remember, my fellow EverFree Forest inhabitant", Shadow Griff

> told Spike, "You do not need her or any of those Horses anymore"

Twilight Sparkle: [Shadow Griffy] Now here, drink this kool-aid.

>

> Shadow Griff then shot out a great wave of power at the six Ponies

> and they were all suddenly locked in a cage of strong energy.

Fluttershy: [Shadow Griffy] Now dance for me!

Rest: No.

Fluttershy: [Shadow Griffy] Awww.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "Spike!", Twilight cried out with tears of a broken heart starting

> to shed, "You have been my friend! You always have!"

>

> "LIER!", snapped Spike fiercely, showing his sharp teeth.

Twilight Sparkle: Great. He needs braces now too.

>

> "I was just sent to Ponyville to make friends of my own species",

> Twilight continued worringly,

Pinkie Pie: Story’s been soaking in GonterLite for a bit.

> "But I have always had you as a friend, it's just you're a friend

> of a different species, that's all. And there's nothing wrong with

> having other species for friends"

Rainbow Dash: And if you’re Griffy sometimes they’re delicious.

>

> Spike then started to realize that what Twilight was saying to him

> was true, and thus his eyes started to turn back to emerald green

> again.

>

> "NO!", shouted Shadow Griff, "Don't listen to her!"

Rarity: [Shadow Griffy] C’mon, evil’s fun! You’ll always be my

 bitch, er, friend!

>

> Spike just ran right over to the energy cage and tried to free the

> Ponies.

Applejack: Which zorched him like bug zapper.

>

> "Twilight is right", he said, "I am her best friend of all"

Twilight Sparkle: [Spike] I go and get her pads from the supermarket

 all the time!

Rarity: ... does he?

Twilight Sparkle: No.

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> The seven then activated their Elements of Harmony powers and

> destoryed the energy cage.

Rainbow Dash: [Twilight] Oh yeah, we got stuff that can kick evil’s

 flank! I completely forgot!

>

> Suddenly, Shadow Griff deactivated the force field around the

> structure-like disguise of the 8th Element of Harmony and

> destroyed it. The seven all gasped in shock.

Applejack: He finally did something that can be perceived as kinda

 evil.

Rarity: Maybe soon he’ll graduate to jaywalking.

>

> As Shadow Griff was doing his evil laugh,

Pinkie Pie: Just needs a top hat, a moustache and some railroad

 tracks and we’d be firmly rooted in that trope.

> the Spirit of Friendship was at that moment invisible and quickly

> went inside Shadow Griff's body.

Rainbow Dash: [Mayhem] Hi. I’m the Element of Friendship. And you

 just freed me from my prison.

> This started to cause him to twitch rapidly.

Rainbow Dash: [Mayhem] Now I’m inside you, causing convulsions and

 spasms like it’s no one’s business. Maybe if you didn’t use a cut-

 rate Element of Harmony, this wouldn’t have happened...

> Shadow Griff was suddenly Griffy again and he spoke desperately.

>

> "Guys!", Griffy panted, "Help me!"

Fluttershy: [Applejack] ...  Enh, let’s see how this plays out

 first.

>

> He then suddenly turned back into Shadow Griff.

>

> "Quiet you!", roared Shadow Griff, "How are you turning back into

> your pathetic, mortal self?"

>

> He then turned back into Griffy.

Twilight Sparkle: Sybil had less switches than this.

>

> "The Element's spirit has taken refuge within this body", Griffy

> replied with a serious voice, "For I represent the Spirit of

> Friendship!"

Rainbow Dash: [Griff] When I’m not eating other beings. Or hitting

 Spike. Or stalking Twilight.

>

> "Well you have always given us good advice on friendship and

> everything", said Twilight,

Rarity: [Twilight] Mostly because we do the exact opposite.

> "You can fight the evil thing inside you Griffy!"

Pinkie Pie: [Twilight] And if you can’t... can I have your stuff?

>

> To Be Continued

>

> Chapter 13: The End of Griffy?

Rarity: And it was. The End.

Rainbow Dash: So... is the same crap still on Raw?

>

> As soon as it was declared that Griffy represented the Spirit of

> Friendship, parts from the structural disguise of the Spirit's

> previous form started to surround him.

>

> "Keep all that debris away from me!", exclaimed Shadow Griff.

Fluttershy: [Shadow Griffy] I know I suck, but this is too much!

>

> That's when a great aura of bright yellow light started to shine

> from his chest and in seconds, a massive explosion of great light

> bursted out of the temple from all directions.

Applejack: Griffy was a suicide bomber this whole time and nopony

 knew!

> Spike and the six Ponies were temporarily blinded by this intense

> light for a few seconds.

All: (singing) Blinded by the light! Revved up like a douche,

 another avatar in the night!

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "G-g-gr-gr-griffy?", stammered Fluttershy timidly.

Twilight Sparkle: [Fluttershy] Are you a dumpster again?

>

> And standing there, was Griffy with really awesome-looking golden

> armor around his body (even his head had a Griffin head-shaped

> helmet on).

Rainbow Dash: His head, however, was not currently attached to his

 body.

> That's when he collapsed with exhuastion.

>

> "That evil thing's power took a lot out of me", he spoke in a

> breathless voice, "I think I'm dying"

Rarity: Can we make sure?

>

> "No Griffy!", cried his friends, "You can't die!"

Twilight Sparkle: [Applejack] You still owe me money!

Fluttershy: [Twilight] You still have some books to return!

Pinkie Pie: [Rarity] The spa’s toilets are backed up again!

Rarity: [Griffy] Death can’t come fast enough.

>

> Just then, the sun was already rising and Griffy was immediately

> starting to lose his balance on his four feet and coughing.

Rainbow Dash: Apparently becoming not-evil is akin to going on an

 all-nighter.

>

> "Looks like he's going to kick the bucket", sighed Spike with

> sorrow while the girls started to shed tears.

Rarity: [Spike] ... So, who wants pudding pops?

Rest: I do!

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "Not if I can help it", said an extremely familiar voice.

Twilight Sparkle: Griffy, welcome to “This *Was* Your Life”

>

> It was Princess Celestia walking straight towards them

Pinkie Pie: [Twilight] Crap, OUR failsafe... er, HI Princess!

>

> After the represenitives of Harmony (except Griffy, due to him

> dying) gave Celestia a formal bow,

Rarity: [Celestia] ... I’m waiting.

Applejack: [Griffy] I’m dying!

Rarity: [Celestia] That’s not an excuse.

> Spike asked her, "How did you know to find us here during

> sunrise?"

Rainbow Dash: [Celestia] ... So this is what counts for omnipotence

 these days.

>

> "Well I am the one who controls the day", replied Celestia, "Now I

> have arrived to see that the source of all evil has been banished

> from a mortal body"

Fluttershy: [Celestia] So how are you feeling Spike?

Twilight Sparkle: [Spike] Pretty damned awesome.

>

> "But the guy who held that evil thang represents the Spirit of

> Friendship, the 8th Element of Harmony", said Applejack.

Pinkie Pie: [Applejack] Think we still have room to put him in with

 the rest of those other “element bearers?”

>

> "And he's fataly injured", sighed Rarity with sorrow.

Rarity: With a brief illness.

>

> Celestia walked right up to Griffy to see that her second best

> pupil was lying on the floor, wearing golden armor and was slowly

> going to pass away.

Rainbow Dash: [Twilight] ... Dead?

Pinkie Pie: [Celestia] Dead.

Rainbow Dash: [Twilight] Pizza?

Pinkie Pie: [Celestia] Pizza.

> Celestia then gently lowered her head and, with the magic in her

> horn, started to heal Griffy (practically reviving him).

Fluttershy: [Griffy] ...... braaaaainsssss...

Twilight Sparkle: [Celestia] Shoot, a bit too late. Anypony got a

 shotgun?

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> Griffy started to open his eyes to see the calming and relaxing

> face of Princess Celestia standing in front of him.

Applejack: The rest of her decided to cut out early.

> He slowly pulled himself up off the floor and smiled to the

> princess and his seven friends.

Twilight Sparkle: [Griffy] I have risen. Come, bask in the glory

 that is me. Once again I am your god now.

>

> "Thank you", said Griffy as he then hugged Celestia and began to

> shed tears and then went over to his friends, "I actually thank

> you all"

>

> That's when Griffy looked down to see golden armor on his body.

Fluttershy: [Griffy] Is this what everyone gets when they die? I

 should do that more often!

>

> "Whoa!", he said in amazement, "Check me out! I feel like I could

> take on the whole universe! Single-handedly!"

Rarity: [Celestia] Good idea! Let me give you a hand getting to

 space.

>

> He then found that the armor around his arms (or forelimbs) could

> tract a pair of gold-colored, sythe-like blades.

Twilight Sparkle: Because nothing says friendship like excavating

 Somepony!

>

> "Magnificently awesome!", he said with happiness.

Rainbow Dash: [Griffy] I can do those Mortal Combat endings in real

 life!

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> "Hey!", exclaimed Rainbow Dash, "Where's that evil Kurayami guy? I

> wanna kick his butt! If he had a butt"

Pinkie Pie: “The Evil With No Butt,” next on TBS.

>

> "Maybe he was late for a party!", suggested Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie: Well, at least I’m better portrayed than Rarity.

Rarity: Well, yeah you... hey!

>

> "Kurayami has escaped into the darkest of shadows and will

> obviously return in the future", declared Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle: Because who really needs suspense?

>

> xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

>

> Pretty soon, the 8 represenatives of the Elements of Harmony (2

> males and 6 females) were then the new protectors of the planet.

> When ever there is danger, they just activate their powers and get

> into action.

Fluttershy: By forming Captain Planet.

>

> These new adventures with the 8 heroes shall be for another time.

Rainbow Dash: Four days later...

>

> The End (The story continues in "Return of the Diamond Dogs")

>

Applejack: ... The Griffy saga continues. NOW we get evil.

[1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7]

[The bridge, where Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow dash, and

Fluttershy are gather around the console.]

Twilight Sparkle: This fic was sorta bad, but not in the way

 everypony’s thinking about. In the fic Griffy turns evil, and he

 thinks that means dressing in black and brooding. But the problem

 is that being evil isn’t even close to that.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, it’s all about actions and how they’re perceived

 in someone’s else’s eyes.

Applejack: ... Y’know, if you think about it, we’re more evil than

 Shadow Griffy.

Twilight Sparkle: How so?

Applejack: Well, take Spike. Spike’s greed caused him to change in a

 monster, kidnap Rarity, and nearly destroyed Ponyville. And he did

 that by himself.

Twilight Sparkle: ... I did break into the Royal Library.

Pinkie Pie: You do have full permission to go there whenever you

 want though.

[Pinkie’s hair vibrate one more time and poof back into curliness.]

Pinkie Pie: ... Ah screw it.

Rainbow Dash: Well, I broke into the hospital.

Pinkie Pie: I force other ponies to read bad fanfics! ... Or is than

 in a different dimension?

Twilight Sparkle: My magic changed the parasprites, which in turn

 helped wreck the town.

Pinkie Pie: The war we kinda helped start between the Buffalo and

 Appaloosa.

Rainbow Dash: Us eating the MMMM.

Applejack: And don’t forget the whole Grand Galloping Gala incident.

Twilight Sparkle: Heck, compared to Shadow Griffy, *FLUTTERSHY* is

 more evil than that. She was one of ponies that ate the MMMM, she

 broke into the royal garden to see the animals there, and then

 wound up releasing them into the Gala. She even birdnapped

 Philomena. Think about that.

[Twilight pats Fluttershy on the head... and her hoof sinks a bit

into the sheet. Twilight does it again and gets the same results.

She then ducks down and checks under the sheet itself. When she

comes back up she’s noticeably paler.]

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie? What do you do about real gho~

[Pinkie’s already gone. In her place is a note, which states: Fake

ghost: sing. Real ghost: RUN.]

Twilight Sparkle: Good idea!

[As the rest bolt off the bridge, the sheet collapses to the floor.

From behind the console rises Rarity and Fluttershy.]

Rarity: And thus your first Nightmare Night trick is complete.

Fluttershy: I don’t know... Is it supposed to be scary like that?

Rarity: Trust me Fluttershy; we could’ve been way worse. Besides,

 Twilight would’ve been expunging for the next hour or so, so we

 saved ourselves from that. Anyway...

[Rarity taps the Lab button.]

Rarity: What do you think ma’am?

*The Lab*

[Nightmare Moon is clutching what looks to be a star tipped magic

wand as she stares up at Snails, who’s currently wrapped up in

dental floss and hanging from the ceiling just like a spider’s

catch. She seems to be talking more to herself than anyone else.]

Nightmare Moon: ... I am not scared. I’m not. I am evil incarnate. I

 am going to take over Equestria and fear isn’t something a future

 dictator has. I am better that this mare with a brush fetish. I’m

 the one who brings fear. After all, I’M Nightmare freaking Moon,

 and I’ll...

[Something clatters to the ground off screen. Any bravado that

Nightmare Moon had started building up instantly vanishes as she

jerks towards the sounds, brandishing the wand like its a deadly

weapon.]

Nightmare Moon: I’LL FUCK YOU UP!

[Nightmare Moon swings wildly from one side to the other before

turning to face the camera, her bottom lip trembling slightly.

Something rises from behind her; the only thing you can make out is

the outline of a unicorn’s head with its horn is glowing and a

demented grin plastered on its face. A brush rises from behind it.

Nightmare Moon doesn’t even turn around; she knows what’s there.]

Nightmare Moon: ......... mommy.

- PWOOSH! -

Colgate: Bruuuuuuuuushieeeeeeee...

Number four, out the door. Plus poking fun at a few thing in the

fandom. Because I can.

The spam was added in because this story was noticeably short, so to

beef it up a short was added in. This will probably continue for a

bit considering that the next five of Wes’ stories are all under six

thousand words each. Therefore, the next MET3K will be a double

feature: Wes’ Return of the Diamond Dogs, but also a MLP: FiM fic

from an author who been a part of the MSTing community longer than

I’ve been, and on both sides to boot (MSTer and MSTie). An author

who has a great relationship with a site we were both involved with

(SVAM/EWiC).

The one...

The only...

... Dr. Thinker.

...... God, I hope I don’t fuck this up.

Contact:

Legal:

This MSTing is copyright of RJ Bachler. Permission to MST The Shadow

in a Friend was received in August of 2012. No permission was

received for the spam because IT’S FUCKING SPAM. And both fall under

the Fair Use Clause, as stated in Copyright Act of 1976, Title 17 of

the United States Code, Section 107. It is strictly for

entertainment and satirical purposes only. No licenses are claimed

or should be implied in the making of this MSTing, and no money will

be made from it.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all related characters are

trademark and copyright of Best Brains, Inc. Check out Rifftrax

[www.rifftrax.com] and Cinematic Titanic [www.cinematictitanic.com].

My Little Pony and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all

related characters are trademarked and copyright of Hasbro.

The Shadow in a Friend, Griffy the Griffin and all related

characters are property of Wesdaaman. The original story can be

found at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7168327/1/The-Shadow-in-a-Friend

Other props:

The SVAM Crew.

To Wesdaaman.

To MST3K.

To My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

To Hissara, who’s also read this... stuff.

And to the other MLP MSTs: Fan/fic/ Theater 3000 and Mystery Pinkie

Pie Theatre 3000. (Mmmmm, hosting...)

Stinger:

> My husband died as a result of brief illness called heart attack, Next Chapter: Guest Submission: How to Handle Grown-Ups Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 4 Minutes