Okay, today we've got a rather infamous little piece called "Pattycake", which you can find unriffed here. I can't really judge it properly since the writer has stated this is meant as a parody of Cupcakes and not something to be taken seriously.
I don't know about any of you, but I didn't really find this disturbing at all. It's more one of the stories where I read, looked at the ceiling, took a walk, came back to the computer and said "Why am I spending my time reading this?"
I mean, don't get me wrong; The grammar is really good and fairly well written. Granted, it has the logical nitpicks I find in every story, but it isn't too bad. Well, it isn't too bad if you completely ignore the concept, OOC's, and the odd tinglyfeeling you get in the back of your skull.
Enjoy!

---

Author and Rarity: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Author: Yes! Fifty wins in a row!
Rarity: You know, this game doesn't seem really fair...
Author: Look, it's not my fault you keep choosing rock.
Rarity: What else am I supposed to do?!
Twilight: Enough fighting, girls.
Author: Um, I'm a guy.
Twilight: Like I said, enough fighting, girls. (Author grumbles under his breath.) I've got a message from Pinkie Pie. Apparently she's sick and can't give us the prank today.
Rarity: This is great news!
Twilight: Which is why she picked a replacement.
Rarity: Oh, um...
Author: That may or may not be good news...
(Doors shut and lock.)
CMC: (From TV) CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PRANKSTERS!
Author: You're kidding me...
Apple Bloom: Nope! Pinkie knew we was looking fer our Cutie Mark, so she said we could try seein' if our special talent was prankin' ponies!
Author: I'm not a pony. Does that mean I can leave?
Scootaloo: (From TV) She means ponies AND humans!
Author: Oh...
Sweetie Belle: (From TV) We wouldn't want you to miss out on the fun!
Twilight: Okay. What did you pick.
Scootaloo: (From TV, clears throat akin to Rainbow Dash) We can get a bit sick and tired of being treated like silly fillies sometimes, so we're giving you a taste of your own medecine. Or, at least, Rainbow Dash will get a taste of it. Enjoy the story known as "Pattycakes"!
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!

---

“Pattycakes”

Rarity: This writer would later go on to writer the highly acclaimed "Ms. Mary Mac".

by Pegacorn Ondacob

Author: Why does that sound like a name one would give a Mary Sue?

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everypony was out having fun in the nice weather.

Twilight: Great. One sentence and I can just tell this is going to be the most original thing in the world...

It was all thanks to the most dependable pegasus on the weather team:

Rarity: Derpy Hooves?

Rainbow Dash. The pony in question was at the moment resting on what to her might very well be the most comfortable cloud in all of Equestria after a hard day of handling the weather like she normally did.

Author: Oh, she "handled" that weather all right! Hoo-ha! (Kicked in the face by Twilight.)

She had been resting for awhile when she just thought about another appointment that she had to keep.

Twilight: Rainbow always seems to have appointments, doesn't she?

Getting up and stretching her wings, she flew low over the busy town.

Author: And smashed into a sign that said "no low flying".

Looking down she spotted Scootaloo who gave her idol a friendly wave. Smiling, Dash waved back and went on her way to her

Author: Final.

destination. It didn’t take long for her to reach her long time friend’s house. Rainbow Dash landed on the front step of Fluttershy’s moss grown house and knocked on the door.

Twilight: Wait... Her house is made of moss?
Rarity: Just smile and nod, dearie. Smile and nod...

A short while later a familiar yellow pegasus answered the door and smiled sweetly at her.

Author: "You'll be the first to die."

The two of them had been friends since they were fillies. But whereas Rainbow Dash continued to remain in Cloudsdale following the events of the sonic rainboom, Fluttershy chose to remain on the ground and build her home just beyond the outskirts of the Everfree Forest where all the animals lived.

Twilight: Isn't that nice? The writer, in one sentence, said something completely incorrect AND something completely unnecessary to mention in the same line!

Fluttershy had garnered a reputation among her friends as someone who was good with

Author: A gun.

animals and taking care of injured or sick woodland creatures. She despite herself also proved herself capable in foalsitting as she had when she was put in charge of the Cutiemark Crusaders when Rarity was unable to look after them. It was a lifestyle that Rainbow Dash could never imagine having as it was too slow paced for her.

Rarity: Perhaps if the life sped up to 40 mph.

Yet despite the two pegasus’ vastly different lifestyles and interests, the two remained very close friends, which is why Rainbow Dash didn’t think twice when Fluttershy requested that she join her on this day.

Twilight: So all of this description was just to convince the reader that the scenario is plausible. This does not bode well...

“Oh, Rainbow Dash! Thank you so much for coming! Please come in,” said the pink haired pony.

Rarity: Oh, Pinky! I didn't see you over there!

“Dun mind if I do, Fluttershy,” said the blue pony as she stepped over the threshold.

Author: Of pain.

“I hope I’m not too late.”

Twilight: "Just thirty five seconds, but whose counting?"

“Oh no, Dash. I may have said ‘some time after noon’ but I didn’t have a specific time in mind.”

“Good, cause I took a little nap after getting the sky cleared early.”

Author: Pattycakes; a riveting story of psychological horror!

“Oh!” said Fluttershy, “Well in that case you must be thirsty!”

“Come to think of it, I am a little parched.”

“You wait right there! I’ll be right back.”

Rarity: One week later...

Fluttershy disappeared for a moment and reappeared shortly after holding a silver tray in her mouth. On the tray was a single glass full of ice and a transparent yellow liquid, topped with a flexible straw.

Author: Guess you better not show me where the lemonade is made.

She placed the tray on a nearby table and Rainbow Dash at once approached the table and sucked on the small plastic tube, drawing liquid into her mouth.

Twilight: "Uh, Rainbow? That's cleaning detergent."

“Mmmm! This is tasty and refreshing! What is it?”

“It’s a sports drink that Pinkie Pie came up with. It’s supposed to help rehydrate the body faster than water can alone. She calls it ‘Gummyade.’ ”

Rarity: The writer of this story would later get sued for illegal use of a copyrighted name.

“Well remind me to thank her later on,” said the blue Pegasus as she drank some more through the straw. “So what did you call me here over for? It is something having to do with one of your small critters?”

“No. I wanted you to come over because you’re my best friend and I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind for awhile. Foalsitting the Cutiemark Crusaders got me thinking.

Author: Congratulations.

Looking after animals is nice and everything, but eventually I want to be a mommy. I want to have a baby of my own to raise and nuture and pamper.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll make a great mommy.”

Twilight: "Who said anything about being a mommy?"

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I’m really glad you say that. That means a lot to me coming from you.”

Rarity: "Especially since you're the father."
Author and Twilight: (Spit take.)

The blue pegasus took another sip of her drink.

“Do you know the lullaby I used to try to put the Cutiemark Crusaders to sleep?” asked Fluttershy.

“Not off the top of my head,” said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight: Try the side.

Fluttershy cleared her throat and began to sing.

“Hush now, quiet now,

It's time to lay your sleepy head,

Hush now, quiet now,

It's time to go to bed,

Drifting off to sleep,

Leave exciting day behind you,

Drifting off to sleep,

Let the joy of daylight find you.”

Author: This is probably the one good thing in this story.
Rarity: But isn't it copied word from word from the show?
Author: Precisely!

As she sang, Rainbow Dash began to feel tired and light-headed. At first she thought she was more tired than she realized. Then she thought that maybe her friend’s lullaby was really that powerful.

Twilight: Then she realized she was in for a very stupid fanfic.

Finally her suspicion fell upon the glass of the unnaturally colored yellow liquid. Looking at it and smelling it, she turned to her friend. She wanted to say something, but Fluttershy continued to sing her song and soon Rainbow Dash collapsed on the spot, lost to the darkness.

Author: That's okay, I put a GPS tracker in her iPhone. (Pause.) Why does she eve have that?

***

Author: Look out! Incoming ninja stars!
All: (Duck.)

Rainbow Dash regained consciousness sometime later, but still found herself in darkness. She started to stretch her limbs only to find that she couldn’t. She was restrained and could barely move her arms and legs which were strapped down. Immediately she called out to the darkness for help.

Rarity: "Help! I'm trapped in a horror story! I know because I'm strapped down which always happens in these things!"

“Oh good. You’re awake. We can get started!” a familiar voice called out.

Author: A familiar voice, eh?
Twilight: Sounds a lot like Pinkie pie to me.

A light turned on to reveal everything.

Author: "AHHH! Put some clothes on!"

Rainbow Dash appeared to be strapped down to some sort of changing table by her legs, torso and arms. She was restrained in such a way that she could not move her wings at all. The room appeared to be some sort of nursery. The walls and carpet were decorated in pastels. There was a playpen, a crib, a closet, baby toys and other paraphernalia suitable for the youngest of foals.

Rarity: Meh. Needs more entrails.

More disturbing than her being restrained in such a way was that none of the items seemed size appropriate for a foal. They seemed made for an adult pony.

Author: I guess that makes them "adult toys"! (Smacked by Twilight.)

Fluttershy was in the doorway and looked at the restrained Pegasus with a smile on her face.

“Fluttershy, what’s going on here?” said the blue pony with more of a sense of irk than disturbance. “Why am I strapped down?”

Twilight: (Puts a bit in a jar labeled "The victim of the story asks about what's going on.")

“Well … remember earlier out how I said I wanted to be a mommy and have a baby of my very own?”

“I vaguely remember something like that before blacking out. Hey, wait a minute!

Twilight: "Was that a vital plot point? Because I wasn't really paying attention."

What did you put in my drink? Did you drug me?”

“I did and I’m sorry. But it was necessary for you to cooperate.

Author: Technically, drugging a person doesn't mean they're cooperating...
Rarity: Why do I get the feeling that the difference isn't too important here?

You see I’ve been going over a lot of options. At first I thought about giving birth to my own foal, but I don’t even have a boyfriend. Then I thought about adoption, but that’s full of complications and often a lot of red tape. Then I thought about us and how we’ve been friends longer than any of the other girls.

Twilight: "Then I decided to just try dating."
Author: Conflict resolved! The end!

That’s when I realized that you would be a perfect baby for me.”

Rainbow Dash just stared at Fluttershy for a bit and burst out laughing.

Rarity: That sums up the reader's reaction to how the plot's unfolding.

“Oh that’s rich, Fluttershy. Wanting me to be your baby. How did you come up with this prank? Did Pinkie Pie help you?”

Fluttershy tilted her head.

Author: Just barely dodging the bullet shot by a sniper.

“Prank? Oh no, Rainbow Dash. I am being most sincere. And I guarantee that by day’s end, you will be calling me ‘mommy.’ ”

Author: Oy vey... Why is it that the first image that popped into my head was not a mother-daughter relationship?

“Pfft! Like that’s going to happen.”

“Time will tell. Let’s get started.”

Fluttershy began by reaching for something that was in one of the compartments of the changing table. She presented a set of four bondage mitts

Author: ... I repeat, WHY IS IT THAT THE FIRST IMAGE THAT POPPED INTO MY HEAD WAS NOT A MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP?!

that were covered in pink fleece so they looked like booties for newborns. Before Rainbow Dash could protest, Fluttershy was already working to secure the mitts on Dash’s hooves one by one.

Twilight: I prefer three by one, but that's just me.

“What are these for?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“So that you don’t mess with the next thing I’m going to put on you.”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at her friend.

Rarity: "Here. I want you to have this."

Fluttershy said nothing and continued to put the bondage mitts on her friend’s hooves until they were nice and snug. Once she was finished she pulled out what was clearly a thick yellow diaper

Twilight: Should I ask why it's yellow?
Author: I really hope it's just to match Fluttershy's coat...

that was made to fit an adult size but still decorated to look like one for a filly. She began to undo the diaper. Dash looked on with disgust.

Rarity: As did the reader.

“Oooooh no! You don’t plan to put that on me, do you?” said Dash.

“Not only will you wear it, but you will use it too.”

Author: "Because I'm gonna (puts on shades) beat the shit out of you."

“Like Hell I will!”

Twilight: Who's Hell?
Rarity: Does he wear diapers?

Fluttershy pretended she didn’t hear that and proceeded to put the diaper on her friend.

Author: That's the problem with society! Let your kid get away with that once and they'll do it every time!

Rainbow Dash couldn’t exactly struggle much since the straps held her down. So it wasn’t long before the diaper was on her rear and secured in place.

Rarity: How in Equestria was she able to slip that on so easily? Isn't there a back to that chair? Fluttershy would need to get Rainbow Dash out of the straps before she could get it on.

Dash stared in awe at the piece of cloth, plastic, tapes and absorbent material hugging her waist. She hasn’t worn of these since she was very young. The first filly among her peers to be potty trained, and here she was in diapers again. She looked down at it and noticed the pattern on the diaper.

Author: "Skulls and crossbones?"

“Pink butterflies?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Yep. My cutiemark. That way anyone can look at your diaper and know right away who your mama is.”

All: (Shudder.)

“Look, Fluttershy. I don’t know what’d gotten into you, but I am NOT a little filly and you are NOT my mama.”

“Awww. A little grumpy, I see. Let me remove those straps.”

Fluttershy began to remove the straps one by one. Rainbow Dash began to stretch her limbs with each new liberated limb. She waited with bated breath as Fluttershy began to remove the strap holding her chest down.

Twilight: There was a strap for her chest?
Author: Now it really doesn't make sense how she got the diaper on.

Finally there was nothing holding her down.

Rarity: What about her convictions?
Twilight: Or gravity?
Author: Or society?

“I’m outta here!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

She sprang from the changing table with every intention of flying out of the room and out the front door. But she had barely gotten off the table when she fell down, crashing head first on the floor. Fluttershy helped her up and held the diapered pony in her arms.

Author: She grew arms! The apocalypse is upon us!

“Are you okay, Dashy?” she asked.

“Ugh. I’m feeling kinda weak for some reason.”

Twilight: That's the "damsel in distress" syndrome. It's normal.

“Silly filly. You know very well little that you’re not strong enough to fly. Not yet, at least. After all, you’re just a baby.”

“Oh yeah? Well I can still remove this diaper!”

Rarity: Oh how literature has fallen when this is a serious line in a work of fiction...

Rainbow Dash shuffled out of Fluttershy’s grasp and tried to remove the diaper, but try as she might, between the loss of grip due to the mitts and her noticeable lack of strength, she was unable to do so. She sat on her padded duff, crossed her arms and gave a slight huff when she realized it was hopeless.

All: THEN WHY DID FLUTTERSHY BOTHER STRAPPING HER DOWN?!
Twilight: If she was already weakened, then there was no point to the straps!
Author: That's like saying you're tying up a man with no arms so he can't punch you!

“Oh Dash, don’t be silly. You can’t leave. Not looking like that. What would people say?

Rarity: "Not again"?

What would Scootaloo say?

Twilight: "Stuck in a bad story again, eh?"

You simply aren’t strong enough right now.”

Rainbow Dash glared at Fluttershy. She knew very well she was at the yellow pegasus’ mercy.

Author: There's still hope! Crawl! Crawl as fast as you can!

“Okay, Fluttershy. What will it take to get this diaper off?”

“Humor me for the rest of the day. If you’re not happy by day’s end, you’ll be free to go.”

Rarity: Alright, riffers, place your bets. Who says that Rainbow Dash is going to go free by the end? (No hands or hooves are raised.)

“That’s it? I just have to play baby with you for a day and I’m free to go?”

“That’s it.”

“Okay … I guess I can deal with that. What did you want to do first?”

Author: "Try a somersault!"

Fluttershy gave a squeaky grin and sat down in front of Rainbow Dash.

“Pattycake!” exclaimed Fluttershy.

Twilight: "Title drop!" replied Twilight.

“Pattycake?” said the diapered pony.

“Pattycake!” said Fluttershy holding her hooves out in front of her.

Rarity: "Just get on with it!" shouted Rarity.

Rainbow Dash sighed and put her hooves out in front of her. Fluttershy sang but Dash declined to join in, and only matched Fluttershy’s claps with her own.

Author: Well, that IS what you're supposed to do in patty-cake.

“Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s colt,

Bake me a cake as fast as a bolt,

All: (Collective groan.)

Pat it, and prick it, and mark it with a D,

And put it in the oven for Dashy and me!”

On that last part, Fluttershy gave one of her signature cheers.

All: Hooray...
Author: I want to die...

“Yeah … that was really … something,” said Rainbow Dash.

Rarity: Please, Rainbow, don't flatter the rhyme by calling it something.
Author: Try 'crap'. It's much more suiting.

Just then Rainbow Dash’s body was telling her something she didn’t want to hear, especially not as she was now. She wiggled her legs a bit.

“Uh, Fluttershy. I don’t know how to say this but … I … need go water the flowers.”

Twilight: So you do know how to say it.

“Oh you don’t have to Dashy. I already watered my garden this morning.”

Author: Hah. Hah.

“No, what I mean is I need to go use the little filly’s room.”

“Oh! Well then by all means! You’re free to go.”

Rainbow Dash blinked.

Rarity: I'd assume she does that on a regular basis, but if you want to mention it, go right ahead.

“Really? Then in that case could you help me get this diaper off?”

“Oh no, no, no. You misunderstand. You’re free to go … in your diapers.”

Author: You know... I could be doing something productive right now. I could be helping to feed the poor. I could be helping to protest discrimination at some rally. Nope, I 'm reading about Fluttershy trying to get Rainbow Dash to poop in her diapers. Where did I go wrong?

Rainbow Dash was about to protest, but before she could she thought about what Fluttershy said earlier about her being free to go if she cooperated and simply huffed.

“I can hold it,” she Rainbow Dash.

All: Please do.

“If you say so,” said Fluttershy.

***

Author: AAGH! They hit me right in the face!
Rarity: I think it's an improvement.
Author: Oh, shut up!

The two of them spend the next half hour or so playing as any mother and daughter would. Fluttershy had put a lot of effort into the nursery room. There was a table with a pink tablecloth and a tea set.

Twilight: Wow. That's really a lot of effort right there.

Rainbow Dash was not entirely keen on having a tea party with Fluttershy, but abided as best as she could. The closet was also filled with all manner of infantile clothing. Fluttershy had Rainbow Dash try one each outfit and model it for her much to the blue pony’s dismay.

Rarity: And to the horror of the reader.

“These dresses look adorable on you, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow Dash, who was currently wearing a pink frilly maid-like dress only huffed. Just then Fluttershy looked as if she had suddenly remembered something.

Twilight: "Oh yeah, I completely forgot that this is all out of character! Sorry about that!

“Oh, I just remembered that I have to check on one of the animals in my care. I’ll be right back, baby,” said Fluttershy as she went out of the room

Author: Well that's cold. Who just calls their baby, "baby"? That's be like me coming home and saying, "Greeting mother and father. Is brother and sister home? Oh, and I can't forget to feed bird and fish."

Fluttershy had left the door to the nursery open. Rainbow Dash was tempted to escape to the outside, but decided against it considering how she was dressed and had no way to change that.

Rarity: Try, "HELP! SOME CRAZY PONY HAS KIDNAPPED AND DRUGGED ME!"

By now she realized that she could no longer hold in her bladder. She needed to relieve herself one way or the other.

Twilight: I suppose this part was inevitable...

Looking and listening around to make sure Fluttershy was not around, she spread her legs, pulled up her dress, and finally let it all go in her diaper, giving a sigh of relief.

All: AUUUUGH!

When she was done, the pink butterflies on her yellow diaper had disappeared

Author: What, did they just fly away?

and her diaper was much warmer and softer. Curiosity got the better of her and she started to play with her wet diapers.

All: ...
Rarity: So, one more time?
Author: Indeed.
All: AUUUUUUGH!

“Enjoying your diapers, I see.”

Rainbow Dash almost peed her diapers again when she heard that. She turned and saw that Fluttershy had returned and she hadn’t noticed.

“Er … no!” said the blue pony pushing her dress down.

Twilight: Why'd she pick it up in the first place?

“I hate these things. Get them off!”

“I’ll tell you what. Just call me ‘mommy’ and I’ll change your diapers.”

Rainbow Dash considered the option but quickly put it out of her mind.

Rarity: And into her pocket.

“I’ve been in worse situations. I don’t mind the diapers.”

She stopped for a moment and realized what she just said.

Twilight: Can the writer stop for a moment and think about what they just wrote?

“Er … that’s not what I mean,” said the blue pegasus waving her hooves in front of her. “I meant that I would rather be in diapers than call you ‘mommy.’ ”

Suddenly Rainbow Dash’s stomach began to grumble.

Author: Even the stomach is complaining about this story!

“Looks like someone is hungry!” said the yellow pegasus, “Follow me. I’ll fix you up something.”

Rarity: "How do cupcakes sound?"

Fluttershy trotted out of the nursery and Rainbow Dash followed after. The diaper on her rear made a distinct crinkling noise as she walked.

Twilight: Yes, quite, uh... Distinct.

Rainbow Dash cringed at the feeling, but tolerated it for the moment if playing along meant her eventual freedom. Fluttershy went into the kitchen while Rainbow Dash remained in the dining room. There was a table, but no places to sit at it. Fluttershy came out soon after with a tray with a bowl filled with hot cereal and spoon and set the tray on the table.

“Oatmeal?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Indeed,” said Fluttershy.

Author: "I was going to continue my sentence since I put a comma after indeed instead of a period, but-
Twilight: Oh, shut up author. Grammar is the least of our worries here.

“I suppose I could go for some oatmeal.”

“Have a seat, please.”

Author: "Please keep your tray in the upright position til after take off."

“Where? There’s no place to sit.”

Fluttershy pointed to a piece of furniture that escaped Rainbow Dash’s attention when she first came into the room. It was a high chair, complete with built-in table and buckling belt to keep the occupant safe in it.

Rarity: So the narration lied, and there was a seat this entire time.
Author: What an asshole.

“There is no way I am sitting in that!” said Dash as she crossed her arms.

Fluttershy gave Rainbow Dash a look like that of a puppydog as a means of silently pleading with her. Rainbow Dash only shook her head from side to side in defiance.

Author: Watch out! We got a bad ass over here!

Then Fluttershy did something she had never done to her friend before. She gave her the stare. It was the look that always filled those she gave it to with dread.

Twilight: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Rainbow Dash lowered her ears and backed away slowly. Without a word she got into the high chair. Once she was seated, Fluttershy returned to her normal disposition and came over and buckled the blue diapered pony in and closed the tray, effectively locking her into the chair.

Rarity: There were also manacles, but they were just for show.
Author: Ugh... Speaking of manacles, I need to escape from this story for a bit.
Twilight: Break?
Author: Let's.

---

Twilight: Have any of you noticed how often these horror stories involve trapping the victim in one place? Specifically with leather straps?
Rarity: A little.
Author: I'm sure it isn't that bad.
Twilight: Oh really? Let's run through the horror stories we've riffed.
Rarity: (Picks up list of riffs.) Well, first was, of course, "Cupcakes".
Twilight: Strapped to a table.
Author: I blame Cupcakes for starting that trend.
Rarity: "Parchments".
Twilight: I think she was tied to a rock.
Rarity: "Sweet Apple Massacre".
Author: They were tied up to begin with, at least.
Rarity: "Rainbow Factory".
Twilight: They weren't tied down, but they were trapped in a room made of clouds.
Author: No wonder they never escaped.
Rarity: "My Little Bakery of Horror".
Twilight: "Cupcakes" rip-off. Do you really need to ask?
Rarity: "The Expedition to the Everfree Forest".
Author: No bondage there.
Rarity: "New Tricks".
Twilight: It was way too short to accomplish anything, including tying a pony up.
Rarity: "Shadows of Requiem".
Author: Again, no.
Rarity: "Apple Cinnamon".
Author: Actually, we haven't riffed that yet if we look at the chapters chronologically. We'll include it anyway.
Rarity: And finally, "Pattycake".
Twilight: Would this be considered horror?
All: (Exchange glances.) YES.
Rarity: So that's... six for ten.
Author: Isn't this community so original?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!

---

Once this was done she brought the bowl of oatmeal and spoon and placed it on the highchair tray.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” said Fluttershy.

Twilight: She is really forgetful, isn't she?

She ran out for a bit and returned with a bib. Rainbow Dash was a bit tired of protesting, so she let Fluttershy put the bib on her without much of a fuss. Then Fluttershy took the spoon and put it the oatmeal.

“Now, Dashy. Are you going to be a good filly and let me feed you?”

Author: In my experiences, parents prefer not actually having to do the work themselves.

“Eh, whatever.”

Rarity: That's what the readers said after sitting through so many paragraphs of this stupidity.

Fluttershy gripped the handle of the spoon with her teeth and scooped up a helping of oatmeal. Smiling she brought it to Dash’s mouth. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth and allowed the spoon inside.

Twilight: She made sure the spoon wiped its feet before hand.

Wrapping her lips around the spoon, she drew the food into her mouth while Fluttershy drew the spoon out.

Author: This is probably the weirdest eating scene I've ever read. Besides "The loving Spoonful", of course.

This process repeated over and over again until the bowl was empty.

Author: Scratch that. This writer must be a fan of that story.

All the while nothing but thoughts of sheer and utter humiliation filled Rainbow Dash’s head as well as fears of what anyone might say if they saw her like this.

All: ...
Rarity: Should I break the news to her about how this story's online or not?

“There. All done,” said Fluttershy with pride.

Twilight: "Why am I reading this?" the readers cried in shame.

“Oh my! You spilled some. Good thing you have that bib!”

Fluttershy used the spoon to scoop up the excess oatmeal and feed it to Dash. Once she was done, Fluttershy removed the bowl and spoon and set them to one side.

“Now I imagine you’re thirsty, right?” said the yellow pony.

“I could use something to drink … as long as it’s not anymore of that Gummyade stuff.”

Rarity: "Nope! Try some delicious Winonade!"
Author: Bleh. Smells like wet dog.
Twilight: Ugh...

Fluttershy nodded and went into the kitchen and returned with a baby bottle.

“I should have seen this one coming,” said the blue pony.

All: We already did.

Fluttershy held the bottle with her hoof up to her friend’s mouth. Rainbow Dash gave a sigh of utter defeat and wrapped her lips around the amber nipple and began to suckle.

Author: "The amber nipple"? "Began to suckle"? I think I'm "about to puke".

Her efforts resulted in a trickle of warm milk in her mouth. It seemed like an awfully lot of work just to drink some milk. But as she did so, something happened that she did not expect. The suckling action was calming her down.

Twilight: No.

Soon the suckling motion became autonomous and Rainbow Dash drank to her heart’s content.

Rarity: No.

Fluttershy seemed to notice this change as well and smiled widely. Once she was done, she removed the bottle, but Rainbow Dash was still making a suckling motion with her lips.

Author: NO.

Fluttershy responded by placing a pacifier on a pendant in Dash’s mouth which she took to quite well.

All: NO!

“Come on, my little filly,” said Fluttershy as she removed the tray and restraints from the high chair, and helped Rainbow Dash down.

***

Twilight: It would be a lot easier to get through this story if we didn't have to keep stepping over these asterisks.

After a nutritious meal, Fluttershy escorted Rainbow Dash back to the nursery. Fluttershy saw that Rainbow Dash was visibly beginning to break down, but knew it was a little premature to tell if her efforts were completely successful.

Rarity: Well, I guess the story is going to be from Fluttershy's perspective now.
Author: Nothing like disconnecting us from the thoughts of the victim to draw the reader in! And by "nothing like it" I mean you shouldn't do it.

For all she knew, the blue pony was merely playing along with the promise of freedom at the end of the day if she cooperated. Rainbow Dash was still suckling on her paci when she walked into the nursery, her rear crinkling behind her.

Twilight: Ugh. That just gives me a weird mental image.

She walked over to a nearby teddy bear and began to cuddle with it.

Rarity: "Oh, Teddy... Make sweet, sweet, love with me!"

Fluttershy decided that now would be a good time for a story, so she reached for a book from a nearby bookshelf

Author: "The Call of Cthulhu" by H.P. Lovecraft.

and went over to a nearby bean bag

Twilight: She bought that during her hippie phase.

and called Rainbow Dash over to her. Rainbow Dash seemed quite disorientated but found her way next to Fluttershy and sat in the beanbag chair with her. Fluttershy opened the book and read aloud. The story itself was nothing terribly earth shattering. It was about a pony wishing to hold the world’s biggest tea party.

Author: A spin off of "Alice in Wonderland"?
Twilight: I think I've heard of this book. I think the pony realizes she'll never achieve her dream and falls into a horribly deep depression.

But Fluttershy read the story as if she were the newly elected mayor of Ponyville reading her inaugural address.

Rarity: Sooooo... She was incredibly boring?

When she was done, she closed the book and turned to Dash.

“So, Dashy. What did you think of the story?”

Twilight: "Well, there was obviously no editing done as many of the sentences had grammatical errors. The plot was overly simplistic, failing to delve in to the psyche behind the main character and neglecting to properly explain his motivations."

Rainbow Dash spit out the pacifier which was attached via a pendant.

Author: I'd use glue myself.

“Eh … it was okay. It’s no Harry Trotter and the Fillyosopher’s Stone, though.”

Rarity: As if! The Rainbow Dash I know only watched the movie!

“I see. Then in that case maybe I should show you something else.”

Fluttershy got up and put the book away and returned with a photo album. She sat down next to the diapered pony and opened the album. The first photo was that of Fluttershy as a young filly, still living in Cloudsdale.

“Aww … how cute,” said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight: Wasn't Rainbow Dash there at the time?

Fluttershy turned the page which revealed photos of the other five ponies in their circle of friends as young fillies, including Rainbow Dash. The blue pony smiled and laughed at the sight.

Author: "Hah! Getting friends! What was I thinking?!"

Then Fluttershy turned the page and Rainbow Dash’s laughter stopped. The first photo was of Cheerilee in a short dress, diaper and pacifier and holding a stuffed animal.

Rarity: I can sense a prequel somewhere just over the horizon.
Twilight: Oh, sweet Celestia, no...

She was clearly not a filly in this photo, but of adult age and posed proactively for the camera. The next photo showed the mayor of Ponyville dressed similarly

Author: WHY?
Twilight: Because Flutt-
Author: I know why, I want to know WHY?

and then Carrot and Cup Cake also dressed in baby outfits.

Author: No, not Cup Cake! She's my fav- Wait, who's Cup Cake?
Twilight: Is that supposed to be a nod to Cupcakes?

One by one Fluttershy turned the pages of the album to reveal more of the same: citizens of Ponyville turned into adult foals. Futher pages revealed intimate diapered photos of Lyra, BonBon, Spike, Braeburn, Big McIntosh, and sure enough Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack and Twilight Sparkle too. When Rainbow Dash saw a photo of various members of The Wonderbolts in diapers, she jumped up and made a run for the door.

Rarity: I'm sure most of the readers did, too.

“Where are you going?” asked Fluttershy.

“Away from you!” said Rainbow Dash in disgust. “This is sick! Grown ponies in diapers? What did you do to them all?”

“Now Dashy, all these photos were taken with permission. These ponies and I consented to a little adult foal play

Author: Blegh. I just got a sour taste in my mouth...

and each photo is a fond memory of it.”

“So why force this on me?”

“I told you. You’re going to be my baby.”

Twilight: "And when I want a pony to be my baby, I FORCE them!"

“Screw that! You think I am going to take this? You think I’m going to allow you to treat me like a baby just becau…?”

But before Rainbow Dash could finish, something happened that the blue pony never foresaw. She messed her diapers.

Author: Oh crap! (Socked in the face by Rarity.) What?! It's a reasonable reaction!

She didn’t even feel it happening, nor was she given any time to react to it. It just happened. One moment she was talking and the next minute she was filling her diapers with excrement as it were as natural and automatic as breathing.

All: That's because it IS!
Author: Pooping we mean!
Rarity: Ponies naturally go to the bathroom, so it's hardly something to be amazed about.
Twilight: It's a bodily function much like breathing is.
All: ...
Author: WHY THE HELL ARE WE EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?!

All this paralyzed the blue pony with fear. When the deed was done, she reached behind her and patted her diapered rear, causing it to squish.

Rarity: Oh, you broke it! Nice going, imbecile!

Rainbow Dash realized that for reasons beyond her understanding, she had messed herself uncontrollably and it frightened her to the core. She began to cry.

All: (Collective face-palm/hoof.)

“Aww … there, there,” said Fluttershy comforting the blue pegasus. “It’s okay. Want me to change your diapers?”

As much as she hated to admit it, she needed a good diaper change and nodded.

“Okay, but if you want me to change you, you need to call me ‘mommy’ and then ask me to change you.”

Twilight: Can't she be Rainbow's father instead? Maybe play a nice game of baseball instead?

Rainbow Dash thought about this and what it would mean for her. She was in quite a predicament right now and the only way out was through the very person who put her into this mess.

Author: Actually, you put yourself into this mess. Rim shot!
Rarity: Kindly refrain from speaking.

She had little choice in the matter. Prolonging the inevitable would only make it worse on her.

“I … I … I” began the scared blue pegasus.

“What’s that?” asked the yellow pegasus.

Twilight: She said "I... I... I..." Or are you deaf?

Rainbow Dash was beginning to feel really filthy, both internally and externally. She knew what she had to do.

Author: Please, PLEASE tell me she just takes off the diapers!

“Mommy, I want you to change my diapees,” she said.

All: AAARGH!
Rarity: How long is this story?!
Twilight: I don't know, but it isn't ending fast enough!
Author: Hold strong, troops! I can see the ending over the horizon!

Did she really say “diapees” instead of “diapers?”

Twilight: No, the writer just forgot to spell check.

Fluttershy smiled approvingly and escorted Dash to the changing table. It didn’t take any fancy instruction of what she was supposed to do. She laid down on the changing table and held her hooves up. Fluttershy swiftly undid the messy diaper, rolling it up and throwing it away. Then she started to clean up Dash with a series of moist towelettes.

Author: The towelettes made it to their fourth season before being cancelled.

As she felt the baby wipes cleansing her, Rainbow Dash was put further at ease, as if each wipe was wiping away any doubt and fear in her mind. By the time she was completely cleaned, Rainbow Dash felt much better and more receptive.

Rarity: Fluttershy cleaned out her ears too.

Fluttershy took some baby powder and spread is all over the blue pony’s nether regions. Finally Fluttershy unfolded a new diaper and placed it on Dash and secured it in place. The diaper sealed the deal.

Author: The diaper had trained under the Godfather.

Everything up to this point had been in a effort to break the blue Pegasus known as Rainbow Dash, but the diaper made certain that she would stay broken. Rainbow Dash giggled and put her paci back in her mouth and patted her new diaper.

Twilight: It must've been a fascinating diaper.

Fluttershy giggled and picked Dash off the table and set her on the floor.

“How do you feel, baby?” asked Fluttershy.

Rarity: "I have an overwhelming need to crawl into the corner and cry..."

“I feel wonderful, mommy!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

“Wonderful! I couldn’t have asked for a better filly. I love you, Dashy.”

“I love you too, mommy!”

Author: ... Well. All together then?
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

As a teenage pony, Rainbow Dash was always so adventurous and apt to crashing into things. As a mentally regressed filly, she retained these traits, but now found herself answering to Fluttershy.

Twilight: And the writer will answer to the angry mob of readers holding pitchforks and torches that have gathered outside his or her house.

Her best friend was now her mommy, and it made her happy to be a filly again with a mother who loved her. Fluttershy on the other hand got to experience the joys of being a parent through a filly made from her best friend who was now completely dependent on her.

Author: Oh no. You cannot possibly have the balls to insinuate that this is a happy ending. No way.

Caring for the regressed Rainbow Dash much to her surprise had brought Fluttershy more joy than any baby bunny, sick bird or animal in need of care had ever done before. Rainbow Dash would never “grow up” as it were since Fluttershy’s influence would always keep her in check.

Rarity: Because that's how parenting works, I suppose.

Sooner or later some pony would discover what had befallen Rainbow Dash, but until then there was a limitless supply of diapers to use, bottle to suckle, clothes to wear and games to play.

Twilight: What? Did Fluttershy hijack a truck of baby supplies?

And right now for Rainbow Dash, that was all that mattered anymore.

The End.

Author: Well, I feel like my soul shattered into millions of pieces. I guess we'll call it a day!

---

Sweetie Belle: (From TV) Well?! Did we give you a good one?!
Rarity: Define "good".
Apple Bloom: (From TV) Sounds like we picked a winner!
Author: I hope you all feel satisfied... Forcing poor, innocent riffers to indulge in such stupidity.
Scootaloo: (From TV) You know... (CMC exchange sinister glances.) I think we are satisfied. Press the button, Sweetie Belle!
Apple Bloom: (From TV) But I want to press the button!
Sweetie Belle: (From TV) No me!
(As the two begin fighting, they accidentally knock against the button, turning the TV off with a blip.

Next Chapter: Guest Submission: Princess Molestia, Chapter 1 Estimated time remaining: 22 Hours, 33 Minutes