... What? Do I need to say anything else? It's the riff of Past Sins, part two of three. Just read it or something.

---

Crazy56U: B-but the Weather Channel said it was going to be sunny! (sad face)
Anon13: Isn’t that a Rush album?

Twilight stepped down the stairs of the library, having just tucked Nyx into bed. The filly was exhausted, falling asleep almost as quickly as her head had hit the pillow.

Stars: The pills didn’t hurt either.
Lightsideluc: It helped that the pillow was filled with bricks.
Vimbert: She repeatedly attacked the bricks with her face.
Anon13: That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

Down in the library’s main floor all of her friends had gathered, as well as Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

simonAJ: Very important to make the distinction between "friends" and "Spike".
Anon13: It's official: Spike is Zoidberg.

Twilight was touched by how worried her friends had been, but she offered them a gentle smile.

Ezn: “Gentle smiles! Get your gentle smiles here! Smiles fresh off the faces of happy ponies!”

“She’s okay, just tired. I just put her to bed.”

Disco: “Chloroform never fails.”

The breath that was being held by everypony was exhaled at once,

Anon13: “Damn! Who had onions for lunch?”
Ezn: So Spell Nexus DOES give breathing lessons to fillies...

the tension in the room dissipating. Twilight embodied this release in tension

Crazy56U: Well, this isn't being rated PG now.

by dropping to her haunches,

Ezn: Nah, too easy.

taking a deep breath. It had been a long several hours...

Ezn: Sixty long minute-length minutes in each of them!

but Nyx was back and safe. No worse for wear... mostly.

Disco: Aside from the traumatic flashback and anguish.
Svensvenderson: Nyx'll get over the PTSD sooner or later.

“Well, this has been fun but I am exhausted.”

Lightsideluc: Hello Exhausted. You look an awful lot like Rarity, Exhausted.

Rarity offered. “I hope you don’t mind Twilight, but I’m going to take Sweetie Belle home.”

CTOONfan1: Mind? I’ll pop the champagne!

“No, I don’t mind. I know you are all tired and Nyx is safe now.

Ezn: “We’ll get her someday...”

You should all go home and get some rest.”

“You sure you don’t want some of us to stay?”

“No, I couldn’t ask you to do that. You all dropped everything to help me find Nyx...

Svensvenderson: "Could you clean that up? I'm OCD about that."

I couldn’t make you stay now that she’s safe.”

Vimbert: Counterpoint: telekinesis.

“Well shoot, Sugarcube, that’s what friends are for. You’d do the same if Apple Bloom went missing.”

Vimbert: “For a filthy earth pony? Oh, your lowborn humor is so ADORABLE!”

“Or Sweetie Belle.”

“Or Gummy!”

Disco: Scootaloo would die alone.
Vimbert: As it should be.

“I know. Still, I can’t thank you all enough. I was... I was really worried about her.”

CTOONfan1: What if I no longer had my excuse to go to Chuck E. Cheese?

“It wouldn’t be right if you weren’t concerned; you obviously care about that cousin of yours.”

Ezn: “You care about her in the way only a canon character can care about a Mary-Sue.”

Applejack said, starting to head for the door. “Still, Twi’s right. We all should be in bed, includin’ three certain fillies that have school in the morning.”

“Awww.... but we want to stay and make sure Nyx is okay.” Apple Bloom whined.

Svensvenderson: Having taken lessons from Rarity.
Ezn: “Very thoroughly.”

“No dice Apple Bloom.

Lightsideluc: Applebloom rolled a critical failure on her bluff.

You got school in the mornin’. You can come and check on Nyx after class.”

“The same goes for you Sweetie Belle.” Rarity added, looking at the smaller white unicorn.

CTOONfan1: “You’re going to Applejack’s too!”

“We need to get you home and into bed.”

“And I know your mother’s got to be worried, Scootaloo.” Twilight said.

Ezn: Scoot: “Really?!”
Twilight: “Nah, just messing with you, kid.”

“Oh no! My mom is going to flip out!” The orange pegasus realized.

Anon13: Or do a barrel roll!
Ezn: “It’s going to be my first birthday all over again...”

“Hey, don’t worry Kid, I’ve got you covered.” Rainbow Dash said

Ezn: to somepony named Kid, ignoring Scootaloo entirely.

, giving Scootaloo a noogie. “I know your mom.

Hellioning: Biblically.

How about I fly you home and explain everything?”

“Hey, you stayed here just to make sure Nyx came home safe. That’s a kind of loyalty I can appreciate.”

E]zn: “It’s not one of those other bogus kinds of loyalty to non-Mary-Sues.”

Dash said, landing on the ground, and motioning for to her back.

Ezn: The strangely-named dance sensation that’s sweeping the nation!
Vimbert: She’s bringin’ back... back?
Hellioning: For to her back... what? What should to her back do?
Anon13: Well, it definitely shouldn’t front. (rimshot)

“Now, get up here before we worry your mom. I’ll talk to her.”

Anon13: And probably scare her to death.

Scootaloo grinned ear to ear,

Ezn: “You wanna know how I got this grin?”

more than eager to accept Dash’s offer of a flight home. With that, the mass of ponies

Ezn: Being equal to the energy of ponies over the speed of a rainboom squared.

filtered out of the room,

Vimbert: Nothing like a good filtration system to rid the air of unwanted characters.

Twilight offering good nights

Bravetriforcer: The ungrateful bastards wouldn't take any of them, though.
Ezn: “Buy two good nights and get a gentle smile free!”
Anon13: Meanwhile, for a little more, Rarity offered a GREAT night.

and thank you’s

Bravetriforcer: You is so ungrateful for refusing my good night.

as she watched everypony leave.

She then shut the door to the library, letting out an exhausted sigh

CTOONfan1: Talking is tiresome. So much more than reading.

as she began to head for the stairs. She was dead

Ezn: And then Nyx was an orphan! Her Sue levels have gone critical!

tired and starving, but she was too tired to eat. So, she’d just wait for Spike’s big breakfast

CTOONfan1: she ordered him to make

in the morning.

KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK...

Anon13: Hey, sound guy’s back!
Disco: And this time, it’s personal!
Ezn: Who’s there?
Crazy56U: Thank God it isn't four knocks; Doctor Whooves would've had a fit.

Twilight turned, eyeing her front door

Ezn: “Oh door, you so fine!”
Vimbert: “You so fine you blow my mind! Hey door!”
Lightsideluc: Sorry guys, the door doesn’t swing that way.

as she debated opening it.

Svensvenderson: "My opponent fails to understand the severity of opening the door..."

Still, her more courteous nature got the better of her,

Ezn: “I’ll be good, courteous nature! I will! Just don’t slap me with your white glove again!”

the unicorn turning as she magically opened the door.

Vimbert: “Spike, I told you to get rid of our guest! Why is she still here?”

“That’s her Daddy.”

Anon13: No, no, it’s “Who’s your daddy?” Get your taunts straight!
Ezn: Twilight’s secret birth gender, revealed at last!
Disco: I knew it!
Vimbert: TwilightxSpell Nexus OTP

Twilight’s eyes hardened as she saw Diamond Tiara standing on her doorstep,

Ezn: Eyeboner?
Bravetriforcer: I was going to say "Too easy," but then I realized I had mis-read the sentence

this time accompanied by an older stallion. He had grayish violet mane and a complementary grayed red tone for his coat. He was substantially sized, not as big as Big Macintosh but substantial

Disco: So he’s Little Mac?
Vimbert: And suddenly Fallout: Equestria happened. THE END

and he had a cutie mark of a jeweled necklace and jeweler’s eyepiece.

CTOONfan1: He was mocked royally for it in elementary school.

His azure eyes were turned down

Vimbert: Over and over by the other eyes, leading to an inferiority complex.

in a hard glare set directly upon a certain purple unicorn.

Ezn: Sparkler, how’d you get into Twilight’s library?

“Can I help you?” Twilight asked.

“You certainly can. My daughter says you threatened to turn her into a cactus!

Eclipse: Why didn't you go through with it ?!
Stars: Yes. If you don't follow things up, Twilight, people will stop believing you.
RLYoshi: "Why would you not follow through with it?! Now I have to put up with her constant complaining!"
RingmasterJ5: “I DEMAND you change your threat to a much more fitting plant! Like a venus fly trap, for example!”

I will not stand to have my child threatened, and I expect a full apology or I’m going to the authorities.”

Disco: Turning ponies into plants is a heinous crime!
Vimbert: Poor Fluttershy will never have her forbidden wish fulfilled.

Twilight’s eyebrow furrowed, the unicorn stepping so she was directly in front of the stallion, her eyes locked on his as she glared him down.

“Now you listen here;

Vimbert: “TAKE ME, YOU MAGNIFICENT BEAST”

your daughter sent Nyx into the Everfree Forest alone. Into a place where she could have gotten hurt, lost, or even

CTOONfan1: Trampled by annoyed bronies!

eaten!”

Ezn: “And what’s worst, none of those things happened!”
CTOONfan1: I still think bronies are the more feared opponent.

“It isn’t my fault this Nyx doesn’t know any better.

Ezn: “The other Nyxs, however...”
Crazy56U: Yes, tell Twilight it's Nyx's fault; that will end well!

I’ve made sure my daughter knew the Everfree Forest was dangerous;

Ezn: “Back when she was able to know things, and before the forest stopped being dangerous.”

maybe you should consider doing the same.”

Anon13: For starters, stop calling it the Happy Happy Fun Zone.

“Diamond Tiara still put Nyx in danger, and not accidentally.

Ezn: “You must be SO PROUD!”

She did it on purpose; she even gave Nyx a map and drew a line

Ezn: On her face

so she would get

Ezn: Mocked for being a zebra.

lost in the deepest part of the forest.”

Disco: She also stole cookies!
Lightsideluc: Forty of them!
Anon13: And that’s terrible.

“A likely story. Let me guess: Nyx told you that. Well, she is lying. My little angel

Eclipse: No! No new toylines!
RingmasterJ5: Well, at least it’s not “My Little Unicorn”.
Crazy56U: Who said anything about a new toy line? Maybe it's foreshadowing the inevitable MLP/Buffy crossover?
Vimbert: My little blasphemy, my little blasphemy... AHHHH~

wouldn’t do anything to endanger one of her fellow classmates.”

Ezn: “Filly classmates though... yeah, I see your point.”

“Nyx has no reason to lie to me, unlike your daughter who has every motivation to not tell the truth.

Crazy56U: Like a politician. ZING!

On top of that, from what I’ve heard, your daughter is nothing but a bully, and you are doing no favors protecting her from the consequence of her actions.

“So, let me make this crystal clear.”

Svensvenderson: "No, Crystal Clear is my wife."

Twilight continued, her voice getting low as she stood on the tips of her hooves,

Ezn: Being careful not to stand in her voice

trying to make her eyes as level with the stallions as possible.

Ezn: “Maybe I should have listened to that optometrist. Double vision is weird.”

“If she does anything like this to Nyx again, being turned into a cactus will be the least of her concerns.”

Bravetriforcer: Because threatening a child's life to their father's face is the best solution to this problem.

“Who do you think you are, threatening my family like this? I am a respected member of this community!”

Disco: “I draw tons of fan art!”
RingmasterJ5: “Sorry, clop doesn’t count.”

“And I’m the unicorn that beat a Ursa Minor bare hoofed and also the unicorn who is Princess Celestia's private pupil! So, if you really want to push your luck, I’d be happy to take this outside. Otherwise, get out of my library!”

Anon13: “These stacks ain’t big enough for the two of us!”
CTOON: Whoa! Shit just got REAL.

The stallion swallowed at this, his conviction wavering.

Svensvenderson: “Not guilty! No, wait; guilty!”

There was a tense moment where Twilight began to worry she might have to actually “take this outside”, but the stallion followed, taking a step back in defeat.

Ezn: “Fine, you’ve won. I’ll take this lousy step off your hooves.”

“Da... Daddy, what are you doing?”

“We’re going home Diamond Tiara, and when we get there you are grounded.”

Anon13: Until you learn to only threaten ponies that can’t hit back!

“What!? For how long?”

Disco: FORRRREVVVVERRR!

“Indefinitely!” The father snapped back, he and the young bully walking down the street.

Ezn: (carefully stepping over stray comma splices as they went)

Twilight shut the door to the library at this, taking a few slow deep breaths to calm herself.

Ezn: Spell Nexus watched through a window.
Anon13: Breathing heavier than usual.
Crazy56U: STRANGER DANGER!

Finally, her anger broke

Bravetriforcer: KRAC-CROOO-OOOM!
Ezn: They just don’t make emotions like they used to...

and Twilight felt a cool wave of calmness flow over her,

Crazy56U: Actually, that's from the brownies she ate earlier.

allowing the unicorn to regain her composure.

“Whoa... that was pretty scary, Twilight.” Spike offered,

Ezn: Free with every can of thank-you!

the baby dragon having stood at the back of the library,

Blahdeblah: Like a good little slave.

keeping out of the fight. “I’ve never heard you pull rank like that, using your position as Celestia’s student to threaten somepony.”

Ezn: “Completely out-of-character, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah... and Celestia wouldn’t be happy if she found out I did.”

DiStort: "Fuck the moon, she'd send me straight to Pluto for that one."

“Hey, my lips are sealed. Personally, I think you should have turned him into a cactus just to prove a point.”

Hellioning: No pun intended, Spike?
Ezn: “The point being that cacti are cool.”
Crazy56U: Nope, fezzes are cool. Cacti are just pointy.

“No... that wouldn’t have helped at all.

RingmasterJ5: Of course it would! Turn him into a cactus, then push cactus-him onto his daughter. There, both your problems are solved.
Disco: The library could use some new decor.

Still, I can’t believe that little filly actually sent Nyx into the Everfree Forest. I mean, what was she thinking?”

Disco: She wanted to save us from the rest of the story.
Vimbert: Suddenly, I find myself liking her much more.

“Couldn’t tell you; I don’t make it a habit trying to understand bullies.” Spike replied, yawning as he glanced at the clock. “Well, it’s late. I’m surprised Owlowiscious hasn’t come in yet.

Crazy56U: Owlowiscious confirmed for existing in this story.

He’s usual-”

“Hoo.”

Spike jumped, spinning around to see the horned owl was sitting on top of a nearby book shelf.

“Seriously, we need to tie a bell on you. You’re like a ninja owl or something.”

Disco: Pirate owls are out of the question.
“Hoo.” The owl replied in his usual fashion.

“You.”

“Hoo.”

“Hoo.”

“I’m... you know what, no... I’m not getting into that with you.”

Bravetriforcer: Even though you already did just now, but whatever.

Spike said, heading towards the staircase.

Anon13: You’re missing out on a comedy classic, but OK.
Ezn: In a scene cut from the final story, Spike and Owlowiscious launch into a soulful duet of a classic Who song.
Anon13: Idiot-ball Wizard?

“I’m going to bed. Night Twilight.”

Ezn: Afternoon Midday Morning Dawn! This is a fun game!

“Good night, Spike.” The unicorn replied, watching her assistant climb the steps. She then turned to look at Owlowiscious, the owl titling his head a little bit expectantly.

DiStort: "Where's my sandwich, woman?"
Ezn: A little bit curiously, a little bit excitedly, and a little bit enigmatically! This guy’s a gamut of emotion!

“Sorry Owlowiscious, but I’m really tired. It’s been a long day.

CTOONfan1: I counted. I'm sure there were at least 24 hours!

I hope you don’t mind if I just go to bed too.”

Ezn: “That, and owls aren’t one of my many kinks.”
Vimbert: “The princess hasn’t taught me that yet.”

“Hoo.” Was all the owl replied, taking flight.

Ezn: No way.

He swooped around the room, grabbing a book of a shelf.

Anon13: “The Shelf, an Intimate Exploration” by Horizontal Surface.
RingmasterJ5: From the same series as “Outdoor Tables: 1,001 Uses for That Hole in the Middle”.
Ezn: I do so enjoy Horizontal Surface’s thought-evoking prose. That passage on proper varnishing had me in tears.
Disco: Truly the furniture epic of the ages.

He then dropped the book on a reading table,

Ezn: “tl;dr”

the pages flipping open as the owl too landed, bending over as he began to read. This made Twilight

Ezn: very angry. What kind of monster bends the pages of books?

giggle a little, happy to see the owl was able to keep himself busy at night,

Disco: Binging on Appledash shipfics.
Vimbert: At least it’s not this story.

even when the unicorn wasn’t up late studying.

CTOONfan1: Whoa whoa whoa! You don't stay up late to study ALL the time?
Hellioning: It's as if you have more then one personality trait!

Leaving Owlowiscious to his reading, Twilight climbed her way to the library's second floor.

Ezn: The staircase was out-of-order; Twilight hadn’t fixed it because the climbing kept her fit.

Spike had already curled up in bed and shut off the light, the only light in the room coming from the moon through the window. It was enough light for Twilight to cross the room without any trouble.

Ezn: Luna’s a friggin’ bro.

Next to Twilight’s larger bed was a smaller bed, which she had purchased for Nyx.

Ezn: Kinky.
WhileItsStillFunny: She purchased the Tails Doll, which resulted in several deaths. She knew that "Toys R' Evil" wasn't a nice place...
Crazy56U: Aw, but that giraffe seemed so promising...

Still, the filly was not there, instead curled up on top the covers of Twilight’s bed.

DiStort: Better get the spray bottle.
Stars: That's for cats and dogs, get the whip.

The unicorn had been trying to encourage Nyx to sleep in her own bed,

CTOONfan1: You sleep there! DO IT!
Disco: She knew about Nyx’s ticks.

but, after the day they both had, Twilight was more than happy to share her bed.

Anon13: with evil.
Svensvenderson: Incoming slash fics!

Being sure not to wake Nyx, who was sleeping on top of the blanket,

Hellioning: I believe the phrase is "ur doin it rong".
Anon13: Nyx usually sleeps above the covers. Four feet above the covers.
Anonymous: Who you gonna call?
Crazy56U: The priest from "The Exorcist".

Twilight slipped herself slowly beneath the covers. She then used her magic to levitate the blanket off Nyx’s bed, using it to cover the sleeping filly.

Disco: She couldn’t smother her, despite numerous attempts.
Vimbert: WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!

Despite being asleep, Nyx seemed to sense Twilight’s presence.

Ezn: Only seemed to; she was just having nightmares.
Vimbert: “No, I was good today Twilight... I promise...”

She woke up just barely, a sleep walking like state.

Ezn: In her tired haze, she had lost her hyphens.

Blanket hanging of her little body

Crazy56U: Man, even the blankets don't like her.
Ezn: This is great! I would’ve settled for just a regular hanging!
Blahdeblah: Shh! You'll spoil the surprise!

she moved over beside Twilight, lying back down right beside the unicorn in the bed, her little head resting in the crook of Twilight’s neck.

Anon13: Her horn sweetly and gently stabbing Twilight in the carotid.

It was something that brought a smile to Twilight,

Ezn: But just a smile - she sold all the ones with adverbs.

gently nuzzling the sleeping Nyx. Memories of what she had seen in at the ruined castle still lingered in Twilight’s mind,

Ezn: As memories do.

the moment she had seen Nyx with the magically infused mane of Nightmare Moon.

CTOONfan1: It seems we can't go a chapter without that Nightmare Moon thing coming up. Wonder what this means.
Hellioning: I think it means that Diamond Tiara is secretly Nightmare Moon. Hey, it'd be an actually interesting plot twist.

She still didn’t know what that meant,

Disco: Her books didn’t have anything on demonic possession.
Svensvenderson: Her copy of Tobin's Spirit Guide hadn't come yet.
Vimbert: Because she was still using her illogical mind.

but that could wait until morning.

Vimbert: “This could doom all of Equestria! Eh. It can wait until tomorrow.”

At the moment, the pair had both had a long day... and deserved a simple, peaceful night sleep.

Crazy56U: "Night sleep"? ...must be a pony thing.

==============

KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK

Anon13: OK, I think he’s just padding his part by now.
RingmasterJ5: No, that’s the readers banging their heads against the wall.
Ezn: Again, who’s there? I’m getting comedy build-up not hearing the rest of this joke!
CTOONfan1: Stop screaming, I’m coming.
Anon13: TMI, CToon.

A white coated unicorn with a perfectly trimmed and slicked back black mane moved towards the door of a stately manor, magic undoing the locks and gently cracking open the large, elegant doors. Just beyond the doorway was a sleeping Canterlot,

Hellioning: As opposed to all of the awake Canterlots that dotted the countryside.
Ezn: It was a pretty big manor, and belonged to a very prolific thief.

the manor nestled in a part of the capitol populated by the elite of Equestria. Celebrities, politicians, and anypony else that was widely known and very well paid.

Ezn: We’re not even trying to make proper sentences anymore.

The butler pony who answered the door, Proper Etiquette,

Anon13: who vigorously denied he was the brother of Gross Sight Gags,
Ezn: “He’s a half-cousin at best.”

looked out at the three figures now standing in front of the manor.

Svensvenderson: ]"Nightmare night, what a fright, give us something sweet to bite!"
Ezn: “No solicitors!”

Two pegasi and an earth pony, who currently were dressed very casually... meaning they had nothing on. The very definition of pony casual.

Ezn: If not for this paragraph, I may have assumed they were wearing clown suits.

“Yes?” Proper Etiquette asked, looking over the three guests. “May I help you?”

“Etiquette, just open the freaking door!” The gray pegasus snapped. She was one of those rarer ponies

RingmasterJ5: As opposed to one of those overcooked ones.

that had a mane color very similar to her coat color, the hairs just a few shades darker.

Ezn: They’re like the pony equivalent of gingers.
Anon13: So, they have no souls?
Ezn: No soles either, poor dears. Fortunately they’re usually pegasi.

Her cutie mark was that of a dark gray, swirling tornado.

Ezn: I wonder who this could be.

“Of course Miss Gale.”

Ezn: Mystery solved!

The butler replied,

Ezn: Sadly, his name was not Proper Dialogue Punctuation.

stepping back as he opened the door wide. The three ponies stepped in. The other pegasi was a

Ezn: pair of Siamese twins.

dark purple colored mare with a black mane and a pair of black feathered wings

Ezn: Methinks she’ll be the star of the sequel.
Anon13: Don’t even joke about a sequel to this!
Disco: Past Sins 2: Electric Hoofaloo!
Ezn: Past Sins 2: Electric Hoofaloo: The Wrath of Rustle: In 3D!
DiStort: Directed by Michael Bay.
Crazy56U: Scripted by M. Night Shyamalan. The twist is that Nyx is actually a flower sack!
Hellioning: Shouldn't that me M. Nightmare Shyamalan? Why do you ignore the opportunities for an equine pun?
Crazy56U: That's the second twist!

and some swirling wind lines for a cutie mark. The sole earth pony was a dull clay-red colored stallion with a tall build. His blond mane was cut very short and his cutie mark was a stone wall

Anonymous: Jackson? Wait. We already used that.
CTOONfan1: Wonder who this guy is.
Hellioning: Night Wind?

that looked like castle battlements.

“Sir Spell Nexus is in his study.

DiStort: "Reading teen dream magazine."

I believe you know the way.” Proper Etiquette offered as he shut the manor’s front door.

“Yeah yeah, we know the way.” Gray Gale said, jumping into the air. “But Nexus better have a good reason for calling us like this.”

Ezn: Girls’ night!

“Yes.” Night Wind, the purple pegasi agreed.

Ezn: So was the one twin’s name Night, and the other’s Wind? Were they talking in unison? So many questions!

“Not only is it late but we are trying to lie low after that grand failure

Ezn: in last week’s Limbo Championships.
DiStort: As opposed to that regular failure they had a few weeks ago.
Stars: And that mild failure two days before that.

in the Everfree Forest. The town guard is much more alert

CTOONfan1: They're actually doing their job now.

and is stopping ponies on the street if they run across them this late at night.”

“I do not know why Sir Spell Nexus called for you as he did.” Proper Etiquette assured as she began to walk away.

Ezn: Proper Etiquette worked as a butler to make ends meet, but his/her real talent was gender-bending magic.
DiStort: Oh, that explains why Nexus hired him.

“But I do believe you will find it difficult to get an answer unless you go and speak with him.

Ezn: Proper Etiquette was a pony of many firmly-held beliefs.

Now, I must be off to the kitchen

Ezn: having become female and all

; Sir Spell Nexus does not like to host company without refreshment.”

CTOONfan1: He gets a drink, and you all have to watch him drink it.

“Seriously, that pony takes his job way too seriously.”

Anon13: Is somepony out there half-flanking demonic summonings?
RingmasterJ5: Yeah, Stan’s Demonic Summoning Emporium.
DiStort: I heard he was offering a two-for-one special on summoning Beelzebub.
Hellioning: Buy one apocalyptic hellspawn, get a second one for free!

Gray Gale mumbled to herself as

Ezn: Proper Etiquette shifted again.

the three ponies made their way through the elegant manor.

WhileItsStillFunny: While obviously drinking their hot coffee, and making sure they didn't forget their monocles.

After climbing a flight of stairs

Ezn: These ones weren’t out of order, but the ponies enjoyed the challenge of rappelling up the banister.

and passing down a lavishly furnished hallway they arrived at a door they all knew quite well.

Anon13: They and the door would often go barhopping together.

Moving inside, they entered the manor’s study.

The study was a cozy little room with very large windows and a fireplace. One wall was lined with book shelves, properly filled with

Ezn: Horizontal Surface’s complete works.
Svensvenderson: All first editions, too.

either books or small nick-nacks and pictures. The windows looked out over Canterlot, an elegant city scape

Vimbert: Of a completely different city.

and a view that the manor’s owner had been complimented on a number of times.

DiStort: "DUDE. YOUR WINDOWS ARE AWESOME."
Vimbert: Two is still a number! Spell Nexus just knows that NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!

The final detail was an oil painting above the fireplace, a regal portrait of the manor’s owner. The painting depicted a dark blue unicorn with a light gray mane sitting behind a very elegant looking desk,

Ezn: I’ve always wanted a looking desk.
Anon13: What are YOU lookin’ at?
Vimbert: It has its eye on you.

a few papers spread around as the unicorn in the painting offered a gentle smile.

Ezn: Hours after the painting’s completion, Twilight sued him for copyright infringement.

A metal plate at the bottom of the portrait was engraved with beautiful, cursive writing.

Disco: AKA Epic Failure
Crazy56U: AKA. Mr. Definitely-Not-A-Bad-Guy
Stars: AKA Sir I-Am-Totally-Not-Up-To-Something.

CTOONfan1: Celestia sure knows how to pick 'em.

Disco: Cliched Antagonist
Microshazm: The word 'Mystical' obviously added with a Sharpie.
Ezn: Spell Nexus was really glad to have that portrait when he lost his memory that one time.

The pony from the portrait was standing in front of the fireplace, its fires reflecting in his turquoise eyes. He did not turn to look at the three ponies who had entered his study, instead motioning with a hoof to some chairs.

Disco: So they’re the Cult of Lyra?
Crazy56U: It's better than the Cult of Derpy. I'm not sure about you, but the idea of a Muffin God is just plain silly.
Hellioning: Says you. Free baked breakfast foods? Sign me up!

“Please, have a seat.”

Ezn: “Why thank you! I can sell it to feed my family!”

“What’s this about Nexus?” Gale asked. “Even you don’t send messengers for us in the middle of the night.”

CTOONfan1: “It's usually just as we're about to go to bed. Kinda rude, really.”

“It is strange Nexus.”

Ezn: Strange Nexus? Where?

Night Wind agreed. “You are the one that is always telling us to keep our movements subtle and hidden,

CTOONfan1: The swirling clouds, forest fire, and loud incantations are proof of that.

and this is far from subtle or hidden.”

Disco: He’s setting new standards of villainous idiocy.

“That and not all of us have cushy jobs like you do.” Stonewall grumbled.

Ezn: Some of us are earth ponies!
Vimbert: Yes, yes, and we’re all very sorry about his birth defect... I mean race.

“The commander is already suspicious why I was late reporting in after what happened in Everfree. I’m skating on thin ice with the Town Guard.”

Ezn: Nice going Nexus, your cult is going to make spring late again!

“Yes, I apologize for the late hour my sisters and brother,

CTOONfan1: Dysfunctional family, anyone?
Stars: they put the fun in dysfunctional.

but there has been an... interesting turn of events.”

Vimbert: In this story? Well, this is a nice change.

“It better be interesting.”

Disco: Unlike this story.

“I assure you, it is.” Nexus said, turning away from the fire

Vimbert: As a random spark lit his tail on fire. Soon, the entire building burned down. THE END

and walking towards the three seated ponies. “It would seem that our efforts on the past full moon were not wasted.”

Ezn: “Look at this bit I found next to the lake!”

“How were they ‘not wasted’? A large chunk of our brothers and sisters

Ezn: Wow, this just took a gory turn.

were arrested by the guards, we barely escaped, and Celestia interrupted the spell and we’ve lost the remains of Nightmare Moon!”

Ezn: “And Johnny didn’t ask me to prom!]”
Vimbert: Spell Nexus swiftly summoned Proper Etiquette to fetch the Emergency Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.

“Yes, but all that is no longer needed... for Nightmare Moon lives.”

Anon13: Trumpet sting, zoom in, fade to a commercial.
Disco: Someone’s been watching too many reruns.

There was a dead silence in the room,

Vimbert: Dead Silence? I love that guy!

the earth pony and pegasi looking at each other in disbelief.

Ezn: “I thought Dead Silence was a myth!” “Us too!”

“Wait... wait wait wait.” Gray Gale began, pointing a hoof at Nexus. “Are you saying the spell worked?”

“I did not dare to hope so, but in part... yes.”

WhileItsStillFunny: Which resulted in the moon falling three days later.
Crazy56U: A lot of ponies were upset, including the one in green clothing. I think his name is "Luke" or something.

“And just how do you know that Nightmare Moon lives? I mean, wouldn’t she have overthrown Celestia by now?”

DiStort: Rather hard to overthrow someone who can step on you.

“It is true, if our queen was at full strength, Equestria would already be bathed in the glory

DiStort: "If not the logic"

of a night eternal and we would have received our just rewards as loyal servants to Nightmare Moon.

CTOONfan1: Being banished to the moon?
Hellioning: No, no, no. Getting banished to the SUN.

Still, I cannot deny what I sensed and saw. Early this evening, a brilliant bolt of arcane lighting shot up from Everfree Forest, and in that moment I sensed her. I sensed our queenin all her power and glory. Something inside me shifted,

Disco: His lunch?

and... and I felt positively giddy for a moment and had to fight the urge to race to the forest.

Anon13: Laughing and giggling like a little schoolfilly!

“Yes, a brief, brilliant flame of our queen’s magic that then faded back into the cool of the night.”

Ezn: Ponies talk like this all the time.

“While its nice to hear we weren’t wasting our time with that spell, just what are we supposed to do

Ezn: without our magic, help the earth pony way!

now?” Stonewall asked.

Crazy56U: "Jefferson Davis can only do so much, darn it!"

“Brother... sisters, we must find our queen.

Anon13: “I thought that was you, EF.”

I believe her form, like the spell we cast that night, is incomplete...

CTOONfan1: We must look for any scattered limbs lying about.

but it something that can be completed.

Ezn: Well DUH, it IS an incomplete thing!

I believe she is in hiding, either amongst the trees of Everfree

DiStort: "Of course, with all of the echoing across I did to them before, they're probably not going to give her to us easily."

or in some area close to that. It is our duty, as Children of Nightmare, to seek her out and aid her however we can.”

Ezn: “We’re gonna give her AID(S)!”

“And just how are we supposed to do that?

Vimbert: “How do you look for things? Using my eyes is harrrrrd!”

It’s not like we can just drop what were doing and take a week long stroll through Everfree.”

Ezn: “We can’t just drop our work like we drop apostrophes!”
CTOONfan1: Well we could, but then the plot wouldn't become even more convoluted.

“This is true, but thankfully not all our brothers and sisters were arrested in Celestia’s interruption. Gray Gale, in the morning you will find I’ve contracted out your services as a pair of wings for hire

Ezn: Don’t worry, you’ll be under anaesthetic when we saw them off.

to deliver important letters to a number of individuals around Ponyville.

Disco: How many muffins did it take to bribe Derpy into this?
Crazy56U: Well, it IS Derpy, so maybe it took 50.
Hellioning: I'm betting 40 and a free scholarship for Dinky.

Some of these letters are simple letters from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, but a few of those letters are

Ezn: complicated letters from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns

notes to our brothers and sisters, telling them to keep an eye out for our queen.”

“Will I know who is who?”

simonAJ: "No, that's the owl. He's not a member."

“No, their anonymity must be preserved; it is how we’ve been able to function so long without detection.

Ezn: “The Brotherhood cannot be wiped out because it is not an organization in the ordinary sense. Nothing holds it together except an idea which is indestructible. You will never have anything to sustain you, except the idea. You will get no comradeship and no encouragement. When finally you are caught, you will get no help. We never help our members.”
DiStort: That was a lot of words.
Crazy56U: Maybe he thinks he's actually Spell Nexus.
Stars: tl;dr

Only I truly know all those who stand with the Children of Nightmare.”

Disco:Their codename is CMC.
Crazy56U: CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CULTISTS! YAY!
Hellioning: Loud chanting, garish costumes... I'm fairly certain the only thing they'd need to change from their talent show performance is a couple of words about how awesome NMM is.

“Which, as I’ve said before, is really creepy.”

Anon13: As opposed to that whole evil-summoning-eternal-night thing, which ought to be a barrel of laughs.
Disco: All the cool kids do it!

Gray Gale said, only to get elbowed in the side

Svensvenderson: Do ponies have elbows?
Hellioning:They're more knees then anything else.

by Night Wind.
“And what about us Nexus?” Stonewall asked.

Ezn: Yeah, I wanna know what happens to Us Nexus too!
Vimbert: Stonewall was quickly punished for speaking in the presence of superior races.

“Stonewall, you must simply continue your duties with the Town Guard.

Ezn: I trust you to do it “simply” because you are a dim-witted earth pony.

Night Wind, however, has a greater responsibility.”

“And that is?”

Disco: “You get to feed my cat!”

“I have little doubt that Celestia will have sensed Nightmare Moon, and this will undoubtedly cause her to step up the research team she has working on deciphering our spell. Through my efforts and our brothers and sisters, you were placed as a guard for that team.

CTOONfan1: Once again. Quality control is not Celestia's strong suit.

If Celestia speaks with them tomorrow I want you to tell me exactly what she says. We must discern how much Celestia knows.”

Disco: Not much.

“Eavesdropping is easy for guards. Most of those we guard see us as little more than statues,

CTOONfan1: Then they blink.

though, considering how still we stand at times, I am inclined to agree with them.”

Ezn: Uncharacteristically subtle.

“Then continue as the silent statue, but keep your ears open.” Nexus advised. “Celestia was able to stop us once, but fate has given us another chance to see our queen rise... and I will not see it slip through our hooves. For the Night Eternal.”

“For Equestria’s True Queen.”

Disco: Lauren Faust!

The three ponies chimed back.

simonAJ: someone having replaced their vocal chords with bells while no-one was looking.
Hellioning: If this whole "insane cult" thing fails, they could always be a barbershop quartet.

==============

KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK...

Anon13: Enjoy it while it lasts, sound guy.
Ezn: Uurgh...

“Just one moment.” A light blue unicorn stallion called, pulling himself out of bed. Bastion Yorsets

RingmasterJ5: “See? We’re using an actual background character! Look at our adherence to canon!”
Disco: Past Sins is officially legit!

glanced at the clock, grumbling at the late hour as she began to head to the front door.

Anon13: He loved that recurring dream in which he was a pretty filly, damn it. Somepony’s about to get the slapping of their life.
Ezn: So the late hour is female and can head to the front door? The plot thickens!
Vimbert: I want to hear more of Late Hour’s struggles. She sounds like a nice pony.

His very light gray mane and tail

Ezn: Yep, Past Sins’s canon reference still checks out.

were a wreck

Vimbert: No, they were a mane and tail.

but he

Vimbert: WAIT, what about Late Hour?

didn’t have any desire to try and make himself presentable for anypony who would come knocking at such an hour.

Disco: He is only a background pony, after all.

Horn glowing, Bastion opened his front door and then froze still as a

Ezn: guard

statue

CTOONfan1: The curse of the Weeping Angels.
Hellioning: I hope that Celestia doesn't blink.

when he saw Princess Celestia standing on the door step.

“Your... Your Highness!”

Ezn: “Hey... horsie. Look... look at my hoof. How weird is my hoof?”

“I do apologize for the late hour Bastion

CTOONfan1: “I've been meaning to fix that ‘time’ thing.”
Ezn: Celestia was an indie game enthusiast, and would often play her favourite titles long into the night.

, but may I come

Vimbert: Celestia practices proper surprise sex etiquette, like the classy god-princess she is.

in?”

“Of.. of course... please, make yourself at home. I’ll be with you in a moment.” The stallion then galloped off to his bedroom.

Ezn: to slip into something more comfortable.

Bastion Yorsets

DiStort: In case you missed that link the first time.

was teacher at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and had even been there when the young Twilight Sparkle revealed her immense aptitude for magic.

Anon13: Remember, My Little Pony fanfic. For those of you who dozed off or something. Or, you know, are in active denial.
Ezn: Yep, the reference still checks out. Move along, folks.

He was among the senior teaching staff, but recently he was also the unicorn leading the team of ponies who were studying the spell created and casted by the cult ponies who had ponynapped Twilight Sparkle.

Anon13: The Return of Exposition Man!
Crazy56U: He's the Superman of writing!
Vimbert: Exposition Man II: Return of Exposition Man
Ezn: Bastion Yorsets has a lot of irons in the fire.
Disco: And most of them have melted.

Within a few minutes of the princess’ arrival, Bastion re-emerged from his bedroom far more presentable, his mane brushed. He had even slipped into his normal work attire, a collared shirt, and light brown sweater vest. The ensemble was finished off by his thin, black tie.

Disco: Hasbro should get on this.
Ezn: If only all this effort had been put into sentence structure and characterisation.

“My apologies for making you wait, Your Highness.” Bastion offered as he entered his living room, where the princess had laid down on his couch.

Anon13: “I had to go into the next room and poop myself in fear.”

“You need not apologize Bastion.”

CTOONfan1: 1000 years on the moon will be fine.
Hellioning: "On a completely unrelated question, do you like bananas?"

Celestia offered as the stallion sat down in a nearby chair.

Ezn: “I have that effect on ponies.”
Anon13: “It’s this whole ‘god-queen’ thing. Makes social stuff tricky.”

“I would not normally disturb you at your home, or at such a late hour... but I was curious how things were going deciphering the spell.”

“It is progressing, but slowly.

Disco: Like the plot.
RingmasterJ5: Which is?
Crazy56U: Convoluted.
Stars: and beating us with sticks.

The unicorns were making use of several very old forms of magic of which there are few records. The oil soaked powders they were burning came from zebra magic,

Disco: Zecora is in on this too?!
Ezn: She was the one who cursed Bastion’s hair.

and while there are records of unicorns using arcane designs to direct the flow of magic, there are no actual books describing how such magical lines work.

Svensvenderson: Their copy of Tobin's Spirit Guide hadn't come in either.

It’s information lost.”

“Well... purposefully hidden may be the more accurate phrase.”

DiStort: "We always enjoyed a good scavenger hunt in those days."

“Princess?”

“Bastion, in the morning I want

Ezn: “to play you again and then post about it on TIGSource.”

you to move your team out of the library and into the royal archives.

CTOONfan1: because you are history!

I have already arranged with the guards for your team to have full access to anything in the archives.”

“Princess... those... those books are hundreds of years old!”

Ezn: “Get with the times, grandma!”

“Yes, but that is the point. The tomes in that collection are the final copies of books and knowledge that I wished to have preserved but not available to all of Equestria.

Ezn: “We’ve got Appledash from before Fall Weather Friends!”

There are very powerful magics in some of those books, spells that, if attempted by ponies who do not fully understand them, could have dire consequences.

Ezn: “Full-life consequences, even.”

Some of those books, however, describe such ancient arts as the diagrams made use in the cult’s spell.”

Anon13: What the hell were they looking in before, the Weekly World News?
Crazy56U: Nope, Wikipedia. Unfortunately, some punk kept changing the articles they wanted to say nothing but "Farts".

“We will make our move to the archives first thing in the morning.”

“Good, but one other thing Bastion.”

“Yes Your Highness?”

Ezn: “Where’d you hide my commas?”

“While I want your team to figure out what the spell was supposed to do, I now need you to find out something else.

CTOONfan1: Why is the story getting even more boring?

I need to know what the spell did.”

“Pardon?”

“The spell was started when I arrived with the royal guards and I interrupted it. I need to know if the spell did anything, even though it did not get casted to completion.”

simonAJ: It only managed to get through half of "Pants on the Ground" before Simon Cowell told it to leave.

“That is a very theoretical branch of magic, Princess. Incomplete spells have been known to do a variety of things, some never doing the same thing twice.”

CTOONfan1: Much like lightning, but not as mystical.
RingmasterJ5: Ah, Lightning Dawn, then.

“I have every faith in you Bastion. You are the greatest theoretical magic mind at the school.”

Disco: That’s not saying much.

Bastion couldn’t help but blush, bowing his head. “You flatter me, Princess.”

“I make no habit of flattering, Bastion, I only offer the compliments ponies deserve.” Celestia replied, getting up from the couch. “Now, I best depart. I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Disco: “There’s a filly in my chambers awaiting my... attention.”

“You are never an imposition Princes...

RingmasterJ5: Right at that moment, Celestia decided to try out a new spell she was working on that turns the user into two smaller, opposite-gender beings.
Ezn: And then ate all the food in Bastion’s fridge, screaming “I am too an Imposition Princes!”

though, none of this seems terribly pressing. Might I ask why you felt I needed to hear all this now?”

RingmasterJ5: “Because some higher force that calls itself ‘plot’ needed me to.”
Ezn: “It was a very shapely higher force; I couldn’t say no.”

Celestia paused at the door, having already put one hoof

GelidEnmity: You put your right hoof out...

outside when she turned back to look at Bastion.

“I have simply realized

Ezn: There’s a lot of simple things in this chapter. Must be an effort to appeal to the earth pony demographic.
Disco: Surely Stonewall appreciates it.

that I have not been providing your team with the materials it needed to decipher this spell quickly, and... I have also come to realize this evening that swiftness in this matter is of the utmost importance.”

Anon13: DUN DUN DUN!

=====================================================================

Anonymous: What is the plot?
Hellioning: The only question I have is thus: Why?
Stars: Can I have a kitty?



Anonymous: Plenty.



Disco: Several.
Stars: The sanity of those here perhaps, myself included.
GelidEnmity: I’m CONCERNED about the questions and comments.

RLYoshi: The PHYSICAL properties, on the other hand...

Nyx sat on the sole swing outside the Ponyville Elementary Schoolhouse.

Ezn: swinging her sole.
DiStort: Must've been some budget cuts.

It had been a few days since Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s prank gone bad,

DiStort: Bad? You got lost in the forest. Sounds like it went pretty good to me.
Hellioning: Yes, but Nyx wasn't supposed to survive. It's a major wrench in their plans.

and while Twilight had

Ezn: ]told Nyx to throw it out before it attracted rats.

let Nyx skip a few days of school

Ezn: and a little sentence punctuation
CTOONfan1: She missed school? I want to be emotionally scarred next!
Crazy56U: Then do I have just the thing! (pulls out a copy of "Sweet Apple Massacre")

she felt the disguised alicorn

Anonymous: In case you forgot.
Bravetriforcer: I'll be honest. I thought Nyx was a mule before this line clarified things.
Crazy56U: Really? I though she was the Unabomber.

couldn’t just hide in the library for the rest of her life.

Casca: Given Twilight's early years of doing just that, I find this train of thought ironic.
Dark Pinkie: Well, you see, its easy being a hypocrite when you are taking care of someone else.

The black coated filly stared at the ground,

CTOONfan1: Nyx: I think that rock's slightly bigger than the one next to it by 0.01 inches... I need more friends.
Ezn: eating a bucket of KFC
Vimbert: One Crusader down, two to go.

the swing rocking back and forth just a few inches.

Ezn: Rustle was off sick, so the exact number of inches was impossible to ascertain.
Casca: I swing mah swing back and forth, I swing mah swing back and forth...
Hellioning: Just swing it. Swing it real good.
Dark Pinkie: I’m sorry... She does not swing that way.

Despite the fact all her classmates were laughing, giggling, and playing, Nyx couldn’t bring herself to smile.

Disco: She’s gone emo?
Vimbert: Crawwwling innn her coooat, these ticksss they cannnot flick...

And two certain fillies weren’t helping the situation at all.

Ezn: Don’t even get me started on the three uncertain fillies...

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had become unbearable

CTOONfan1: Become?

since Nyx returned to school, Diamond Tiara enacting her vengeance for getting grounded because of what happened. They had spread nasty rumors around the school, picked on Nyx openly, and even tried to frame Nyx for putting a tack on Cheerilee’s desk chair.

Disco: Those sick bastards!

Thankfully, the teacher had seen through the ruse.

Crazy56U: Well it wasn't hard, seeing as how they placed the tack WHILE SHE WAS LOOKING.
Ezn: After all, it was merely a distaction.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were now missing recess, sitting at their desks

CTOONfan1: Oh the irony!
Anon13: Now they might learn something, and that would be terrible!

as punishment for the tack. It gave Nyx her first peaceful recess in days, though it did little to raise the filly’s spirits. She... she had wanted to hurt Twilight at some point in time.

DiStort: As opposed to now, where it's the other way around.
Anon13: And the readers want to hurt everyone involved.

She didn’t know when she had or why... but the memory lingered in Nyx’s mind... making her feel horrible.

Ezn: I know that feel, Nyx. I had my iPod stolen once.

How could she have ever wanted to hurt Twilight? She was such a nice

Disco: but idiotic
Vimbert: and out of character

pony.

It was Twilight that had found her in the forest, had taken her in, and had been taking care of her.

Vimbert: Nyx knew the bruises would heal.

How could she wanted to hurt somepony who was willing to do all that?

Casca: Because plot and bananas.
Hellioning: It's called being evil. I highly recommend it.

Who was willing to read

Vimbert: This story?

bedtime stories and help Nyx catch up with the rest of her class?

“Hey Nyx, how are you doing?”

Looking up, the disguised alicorn

Anonymous: Forgot again.
Bravetriforcer: I could have SWORN that she was a pistol shrimp before this line happened.
Dark Pinkie: I thought she was a bulldog.
Ezn: And suddenly this story became Sunny Skies All Day Long.
Vimbert: HAHAHAHA NO

was surprised to see Apple Bloom and Twist standing near the swing. She hadn’t even noticed them walk up.

Vimbert: Failed Spot checks. Failed Spot checks EVERYWHERE.
Casca: Cutie Mark Crusader Ninjas, go!
Dark Pinkie: What would a ninja cutie mark even look like?

“I’m okay.”

“You don’t sound okay.” Twist pointed out.

CTOONfan1: Neither do you with that strange lack of lisp accent you're speaking in.

“Can... can I tell you two a secret?”

“Of course.”

Ezn: “I once killed a man, just to watch him dye. The carpet, that is. With his blood.”

“And you promise not to tell any pony else?”

Vimbert: Soon, Spike and Zecora would rise to the top of the seedy rumor underbelly of Ponyville, their fortunes buoyed by technicalities.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Apple Bloom rattled off.

“What was that?” Twist asked, confused by the sudden movement and rhymes.

Microshazm: Apple Bloom was just about to start a full-on rap battle, but came to her senses.
Dark Pinkie: Rap battles of fanfiction! NYX! VERSUS! APPLEBLOOM! BEGIN!

“It was a Pinkie Pie Promise.”

CTOONfan1: Copyright Pinkie Pie, Sugarcube Corner Productions.

“There is a promise named after Pinkie Pie?”

DiStort: Patent pending.

“Oh yeah, it’s a promise between friends that you have to keep forever.”

Ezn: Forgotten by Studio B, held sacred by fans.
Vimbert: Just in case you had forgotten, this is a STORY ABOUT MY LITTLE PONIES.

“Forever?” Twist echoed.

Anonymous: NO! WAIT! THAT SUMMONS HER!
Crazy56U: TAKE COVER! (hides under table)
Ezn: Oh how I wonder what’s going to happen next...
Vimbert: Oh?

“Fooorreeevvveeerrr!”

Anonymous: Told you.
Ezn: No way.
Vimbert: Oh.

Nyx, Apple Bloom, and Twist jumped, turning to look towards the path that went by the school.

Ezn: 180 degree flip!

Standing on the other side of the fence that surrounded the playground was Pinkie Pie,

CTOONfan1: She's everywhere!

the earth pony eyeing the three fillies.

Ezn: Why is everypony in this story a pedophile?
Vimbert: Because fanfiction!

She was carrying a tray of cupcakes on her back and her saddle bags were loaded down with assorted goodies.

Disco: Her unmarked van was around the corner.

“Uh, hey Pinkie Pie.” Apple Bloom said, giving the earth pony a weak wave.

Ezn: “Daaahhhhling!”

The serious expression on Pinkie Pie’s face

CTOONfan1: Did we just encounter the rare Serious Pinkie? GO POKÉBALL!

quickly shifted back to its normal, cheerful nature.

CTOONfan1: Aw. It appeared to be caught.
soFreeKey: Next time, throw a rock at it.

“Hey girls! I was just taking some sweets to a party. Well, I’d better get going.

Disco: “I have to bury the evidence.”

You have fun.”

“Uh... okay, see ya.” Apple Bloom replied, the three watching Pinkie Pie bounce down the path.

“That... was weird.”

CTOONfan1: THAT was weird? Have you read this story?
Hellioning: No, your lack of a lisp is weird.

Twist offered once she was sure Pinkie Pie was out of ear shot.

“It’s Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, that’s just how she is.”

Disco: Terrifying? Deranged?
Anonymous: Murderous? Crimanly insane?

Apple Bloom replied. “Still, a Pinkie Pie promise is a promise you have to keep, since losing a friends trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever.”

Anonymous: NOT AGAIN! (Grabs riot shield)
Ezn: The second fastest way is to lose a friends possessive apostrophe.

“FOOOREEEEVVEEEEER!”

CTOONfan1: Will these girls ever learn?

The three fillies jumped again, turning their heads.

Ezn: 180 degree flip 2X COMBO!

Pinkie Pie was a long ways down the path, almost out of sight of the school, but at the moment she was staring down the three fillies, as if she was able to hear their conversation, despite the distance. That or her strange Pinkie Pie Sense let her know when somepony was talking about her Pinkie Pie Promises

DiStort: The signal for that one is constipation.

It was a tense moment, Pinkie Pie eyeing the three fillies.

GelidEnmity: *Licks lips*
RingmasterJ5: *slowly backs away*
Anon13: *subtly dials 911*

But just as quickly as she had spoken out Pinkie Pie returned to her normal perky nature, turning and bouncing around a bend in the path as she continued on her task of delivering food for a party.”

Disco: Creeeepy.

“If it’s okay with you Apple Bloom, I think I’ll just use a normal promise.”

Anonymous: Good call, Twist.
DiStort: Suddenly, Pinkie felt a stabbing pain in the back of her head.
Crazy56U: The voices in her head got meaner.

Twist said, the yellow farm filly offering no protest.

Ezn: “No protests! Get your no protests here! Fresh off the inoffensiveness grill!”

“So, what did you want to tell us Nyx?” Apple Bloom asked.

Disco: “I am your father!”
Ezn: “Soylent Rainbow is made of ponies!”

“When I was in the forest... I remembered things.

Ezn: “It was like... there were these images and sounds... in my brain. It was really weird, you guys.”
Vimbert: What in Celestia’s name is a memory?

Or... it felt like they were memories, even though I don’t think they are... and, in some of those memories... I wanted to hurt Twilight.”

DiStort: Join the club.

“Why would you ever want to hurt Twilight?”

Disco: “Hey, you try sharing a room with her every day.”
Ezn: “Well, she asks me to sometimes, but I’m not supposed to talk about that...”
Casca: Have you even read the books? Really, such silly questions you ask.
RingmasterJ5: I thought the RiffTrax guys did a pretty good job of that already.

“I... I don’t know!” Nyx half blubbered.

Ezn: and half-whaled, sorry, -wailed.
Vimbert: Half-offered
Anonymous: How does one "half blubber"?
Svensvenderson: Very carefully.
Crazy56U: You cry with one eye open, natch.

“But I wanted to. I really wanted to... but I don’t want to hurt Twilight now, she’s so nice... but...”

Ezn: If you really want to know *deep breath* she’s obsessive-compulsive, she studies too hard, she’s a kinda antisocial and she’s got a crippling complex about magic kindergarten.
Vimbert: I suppose we were about due for another “Remember, this is a MLP:FiM fanfic” moment.

“Whoa, easy Nyx.” Apple Bloom said, seeing her friend was starting to tear up.

Ezn: in a swirling universe-correction wormhole, which left nothing but a shattered pair of glasses behind. And there was much rejoicing.
Hellioning: flutteryay

“Is that why you’ve been so sad, because you thought you wanted to hurt Twilight?”

Nyx nodded.

“I’m not even sure when it happened or why, but... I remember wanting to hurt her before.

CTOONfan1: I think we've all had that feeling before.
Anon13: When she's acting this dumb Darwin demands it.

We were both standing in some old castle ruins and I was really tall and when I spoke my voice was all strange, but I remember wanting to hurt her... but why would want to hurt somepony so nice?”

Hellioning: I repeat, because it's hilarious.

“Are ya sure you weren’t just dreamin’?” Applebloom asked.

Disco: Or watching Season 1?

“Dreaming?” Nyx asked.

“Yeah, dreamin’. I mean, Twilight said you were way out in the Everfree Forest. Maybe you just got tired and passed out and dreamed the whole thing up and just didn’t know it because of how scared you were. I mean, since when were you ever taller than Twilight?”

“I...I guess that might make sense

CTOON: Sense? Pshaw!

....but even if it was just a dream, I still feel bad about it.”

“Have you told Twilight about this?” Twist asked.

“Yes.”

“And did you apologize?”

“Yes, I apologized

DiStort: “And then she took out Mr. Naughty Stick. I don’t like Mr. Naughty Stick...”
Vimbert: "Twilight says I will one day."

and she said it was all right.”

“Well then why are you worryin’ about it, you silly filly?” Apple Bloom asked, smiling gently.

Ezn: Twilight’s most faithful customer.

“Like you said, you don’t really want to hurt Twilight and it sounds like she’s already forgiven you. As my big sister would say, its all water under a bridge now.”

“What does a bridge have to do with any of this?”

DiStort: Wasn’t Twist supposed to be smart or something?
Anon13: Wasn’t the ENTIRE CAST supposed to be smart or something?
Crazy56U: Hmm... "Past Sins Abridged"... ...it could work.
Anon13: Sorry, but unless you abridge this thing down to a haiku it won't be enough.
Disco: Nightmare Moon is back?

Mary Sues are annoying!

Because Nyx has ticks.
Ezn: Good job so far, but it needs a wiki link and some rows of equal signs.
Vimbert: Don't forget Twilight with a creepy obsession with an unfulfilled maternal instinct.

Twist asked.

“No, you see, it’s an expression.”

Ezn: Like the ones Twilight’s always trying to get ponies to buy from her.

“What does it mean?”

“Well... it kind of... look, I don’t know for sure,

Vimbert: Metaphorgottened.
CTOONfan1: I just say things because they make me sound smarterer.
Crazy56U: Thanks, now I can't stop picturing Twilight dancing and singing "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

but I know it does mean somethin’ like that once you apologized for doing somethin’ and somepony has forgiven you then it’s okay just to forget about it.”

“Oh, so since Twilight’s forgiven Nyx for thinking she ever wanted to hurt her they can both just forget about it and go back to being happy?”

Disco: Denial is magic!

“Exactly!” Apple Bloom said with a smile.

“But... I may have wanted to hurt Twilight for real, and I don’t know why.

CTOONfan1: There's a lot of things in this story we don't know why.

What if I want to hurt her again... I don’t want to hurt her!”

“Okay, we’re going in circles, time for an Apple family remedy.” Apple Bloom said, walking behind Nyx.

“Apple family remedy, just what is- WHOA!”

simonAJ: It's an expression of shock or surprise. Pretty common, actually.
Crazy56U: And Nyx has been possessed by Keanu Reeves.

Nyx went wide eyed as Apple Bloom, putting her practice apple bucking to use, turned and bucked at the swing Nyx was sitting on.

Disco: Damn it, just missed!
Ezn: I think she hit that sentence’s hyphens instead.

This sent Nyx swinging skyward, her purple mane flowing behind her.

Ezn: An opportunistic camera crew was quick enough to capture the footage for a shampoo commercial.

The swing reached the peak of its swing,

Ezn: The swing had its own swing, with a peak and everything? Dayum, playgrounds are fancy these days.
Anon13: That may explain why there was only one, though...

and began swooping back. Apple Bloom had already gotten out of the way, she and Twist laughing at Nyx’s panicked face.

Casca: Cutie Mark Crusader Schadenfreude Practicers, go!
Hellioning: Am I the only one having Carrie flashbacks?
Crazy56U: That depends: are you thinking of "Carrie 2: The Rage" as well?

“Come on, go higher!” Apple Bloom encouraged.

Disco: Kick her again! Kick her again!

“Yea! Higher!” Twist added in her nasally tone.

Nyx gulped a little

Ezn: bird that flew past just then. It got caught in her throat and she died.
Vimbert: And that was the second time Scootaloo died.

, but then began to do just that. She hadn’t ever really gone this high on the swing before... but the cheers from Apple Bloom and Twist drove her one.

Disco: Peer pressure is a bitch.

Nyx threw her weight into the swing,

DiStort: Crushing it instantly. You really shouldn't throw anvils around, kid.

and it began to work its way higher. Nyx started to get so high that the swing would hang in the air at the top, a few brief moments of free fall before the chain snapped taut again.

Crazy56U: ...thanks for reminding us that physics exists?

Nyx swung back and forth a number of times, to Twist and Apple Bloom’s cheers

CTOONfan1: They enjoy watching her misery and confusion.

before she stopped and let the swing slow down, eventually using her hooves to skid to a stop, a broad smile on her face.

“See? Apple family remedy works every time.”

Ezn: “Except that one year when the swing was out-of-order. We don’t talk about that.”

“And just what remedy is that? Swinging on a swing?”

“No, havin’ fun. Nothin’ can get a pony feeling better like havin’ a little fun.

Disco: And alcohol. Just look at Berry Punch!

Now, scootch over, it’s my turn.” Apple Bloom replied, moving over to the swing. Nyx gladly obliged,

CTOONfan1: Such a pushover.
Ezn: And a crybaby. Oops, that's not in this version, sorry.

relinquishing the swing to her friend and even pushing Apple Bloom with the use of her magic.

==============

Twilight smiled gently

Ezn: keeping this gentle smile all to herself.

as she looked at the calender on the wall, striking off another day.

Ezn: She really hated days.

It had been about a month and a half since Nyx’s arrival, and Twilight was happy to say that the little black filly was doing well.

Casca: Psychotic breakdown? Murderous impulses? Sure, Twilight. Suuuure.
Disco: Given how crazy her friends are, she probably thinks it's normal.
Hellioning: If she hasn't acted on the murderous impulses, she's still better than Pinkie.

She had gotten caught up in school,

Ezn: A dangerous drug. Once you study, you can’t stop!

so now instead of spending afternoons studying with Twilight she was able to go out and play with her friends, though Nyx still liked to come back to the library anyway and have Twilight teach her more about something she learned in school. The alicorn’s curiosity was, at times, insatiable.

DiStort: Damn, already made the bendy straw joke.

School itself had been going better as well. After Twilight’s confrontation with Diamond Tiara’s dad and a few other altercations between the fillies at school, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started to going to Cheerilee’s afternoon class,

GelidEnmity: LOL how 2 grammer?

which in turn let two fillies in particular join the morning class. Those two fillies were Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Add that to Twist and Apple Bloom, and Nyx had four solid friends...

Disco: But no liquid or gaseous friends.
Crazy56U: What about plasma?
more than Twilight could say she had at that age.

CTOONfan1: Twilight, the only friends you had as a kid were books, and I'm sure you had a lot of those.
Crazy56U: Thanks, now I'm imagining the creepy birthday party scene from "Party of One", but with Twilight and some books.

Moving away from the calender, Twilight began to shuffle and clean up books around the library.

Ezn: Shuffling has more practical applications than you might think.

Spike was over at Rarity’s place helping her, Owlowiscious was asleep, and Nyx was at school.
Ezn: Rainbow Dash was napping, Fluttershy was wrestling with a bear, Pinkie Pie was watching TV, Derpy was cleaning a well...

All in all, it gave Twilight a quiet morning to clean up the library, a mess caused by her usual study practices.

DiStort: I mean there is studying, and then there's STUDYING.
Ezn: The library sure is a mess caused by her study practices. Now that that tree’s been cleaned up, Ponyville can get a stripmall!

Putting the books back on the shelves, Twilight glanced at some of the titles,

CTOONfan1: “Where did I keep that Blockhead's Guide to Raising Possible Demons of Darkness?”
Crazy56U: Unfortunately, the last book she had by Horizontal Surface had been checked out.

thinking about whether or not she had read them. At this point most of the books in the library had been read by the unicorn,

Ezn: Sparkler, get out!

but she still at times came across books she hadn’t read, some by choice

Ezn: She had Past Sins? Meta...

and others because she just hadn’t come across them yet.

Disco: Some were so bad that she burned them out of her memory.
Casca: Ones, for instance, that shared her name.
RingmasterJ5: Or any by that deranged “Mykan” colt.

All the books Twilight put away were ones she had read, but the unicorn lingered on the last book. It was brown, with golden clasps on the corners and a gold unicorn on the cover surrounded by six golden gemstones.

Ezn: Its thick binding sent her into throes of pleasure.

It was a book of folklore, old stories from Equestria’s past.

Casca: Behold, mortals, the Necronomicon.
Ezn: *Neighcronomicon
Vimbert: Just in case you didn't know what "folklore" meant, readers. Are you confused? Do I need to define more terms? Hold on, I'll insert more explanatory wikipedia links.

It was, in fact, from that book that Twilight had read about the Elements of Harmony, which lead her to discover that Nightmare Moon was going to return.

Without even thinking,

Disco: Like she does with everything else,
Vimbert: (at least in this story)

Twilight opened the book to the folktale in question,

Ezn: Twi’s a loose canon reader who reads now and thinks later.

her eyes glancing over the beautifully illustrations before reaching the first line.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest-

“I’m home!”

Twilight smiled, looking up from the book as Nyx came running into the library, quickly moving over to and nuzzling up against Twilight.

Ezn: *holds up ‘Awwww...’ sign*

“Hey there Nyx, how was school today?”

“Great!”

Disco: “I was only beaten up twice!]”
simonAJ: “They didn’t even use the stick this time!”

The filly chirped. “Cheerilee told us that were going to be putting on a play.”

Ezn: were doing it man

“Really?”

Ezn: “No, she wrote it on the board in Pony Hieroglyphics and we had to decipher it before time ran out and the classroom exploded.”

“Yep! She says every spring the school puts on a play for the Ponyville Spring Festival. It’s this really cool thing where a bunch of musicians, artists, and entertainers come to Ponyville and every pony has a lot of fun.”

Casca: Not the dragons and other, ahem, sub-races, though. They have to work and clean up and do other generally degrading activities.
Vimbert: We give the filthy earth ponies a break for once.

“The Spring Festival; if I remember correctly it was started by a traveling group of musicians that came to Ponyville every year around this time as they toured Equestria. Eventually, other musicians started showing up at the same time and after a few years it just turned into a festival.”

Anon13: A few more kilos of interesting plants and it’ll be our own Burning Man!

“Yea, that’s what Cheerilee said.” Nyx chirped. “And she says we can pick what the play will be about and that we’ll all have something to do.”

Disco: This won’t end well for anyone.

“Well doesn’t that sound fun?

Disco: More like ridiculous.

Do you have any ideas?”

“I... I was kind of hoping I’d find a good story in one of the library books.”

Casca: Like that one Rarity borrowed the other day, the one with the three mares and honey drizzles all over their midriffs, I thought maybe we could do that one.

Twilight smiled. “That’s a great idea. Books have some of the best stories

CTOONfan1: But worst graphics.
Crazy56U: Yes, just like my Pre-Calc textbook! It contains the most MAGICAL of stories!
Ezn: “and they will never call you mean names, or make fun of your Sailor Moon fanfiction, or go to the prom with Moondancer instead...”

, but just remember that it’s meant to be a school play, so try to pick a story that’s short

Ezn: “Remember, you have earth ponies in your class. They can’t focus on reading for too long before their tree-kicking senses start to tingle.”

that all your friends will want to help with.”

Disco: That means no Rent.

“Okay.” Nyx replied, about to open her mouth and ask for Twilight’s help further.

Ezn: “Help” is probably one thing you could call it.

Still, the filly was interrupted as the door to the library opened, Applejack running in.

“Twi, there you are! I need your help with somethin’ fierce!”

Disco: Is it down right fierce?

“What’s wrong Applejack?”

Disco: “I’ve lost my accent!”
Anon13: “The Plot demanded a distraction!”

“Some nasty plant showed up in Sweet Apple Acres; it’s a vine and it’s startin’ to grow up around some of the trees. You got any books in here that can tell us what it is?”

Casca: Iiiiit's theeee Great Big Book of Everything, with everything inside, see the world around us, let's look what we can find!
CTOONfan1: It's "this book's the perfect guide," not, "let's see what we can find." I'm sad that I remember that.

Twilight nodded, her horn glowing as she grabbed a number of phytopathology

Ezn: You learn something new every day.
Crazy56U: You have to give Pen Stroke credit; he IS saving us the time of Googling this stuff.
Vimbert: Me? Give Pen Stroke credit? Heck, I didn't even do that when I was editing this thing.
Crazy56U: Well, did he pay you?

books from the shelves and her saddle bag. The books flew into the bags, the bags settling on Twilight back as the unicorn looked over her shoulder.

Ezn: What’s a shoulder? Help, Pen Stroke! Give me links!

“Nyx, I’ve got to go help Applejack.

Ezn: “I’m going to try to teach her to count without using her hooves.”

Will you be okay by yourself for a little while?”

Vimbert: “She is an earth pony, so explaining this might take a while.”

“Sure, I’ll just try and find a story for my school play.”

Twilight nodded. “That’s an excellent idea. Now, if you need help Spike is at Rarity’s and Owlowiscious is asleep in the bedroom upstairs.

Vimbert: Translation: if you need help, too bad!

I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay Twilight.”

“Thanks again Sugarcube.” Applejack offered as she and Twilight galloped out the door. “I don’t know what that nasty plant is, but I know it ain’t good on my apple trees.”

At that the door to the library shut under Twilight’s magic, leaving little Nyx to her studies. The disguised alicorn

Anonymous: This again... Really?
Anon13: Apparently Pen believes when in doubt, assume the reader is a goldfish.

looked about the room for a few minutes, just mindlessly perusing the books on the shelves for something that looked like a story book before she noticed one book that was left setting out.

Disco: “Furniture: The Anthology?”
imonAJ: Horizontal Surface really lost his touch after the caterpillar incident.
Crazy56U: Yeah, after that, he went full on Hunter S. Thompson and tried to shoot his typewriter.

Trotting over, Nyx looked into the book and its beautiful illustrations, beginning to read the first line.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest-

Ezn: I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT.

==============

“So, do you know what the play is supposed to be about?”

Ezn: “It’s about life! And meaning! About real people... and sewer mutants.”
Disco: The tragic story of a Mary Sue corrupted by her own idiocy.
DiStort: Truly an epic tragedy for the ages.
Anonymous: From where I'm standing, its quite a common one at this point.

Twilight asked as she walked with Rarity in the direction of the Ponyville Elementary School. The pair of unicorns had volunteered to help the students prepare the show, though all the actual work was going to be done by the fillies and colts.

Ezn: Rarity had been appointed because of her experience with sweatshops.

It was a chance for the students to find their cutie marks,

Disco: And fail miserably.

and in truth it was a similar school play event that helped Rarity discover her special talent in fashions and clothes making.

CTOONfan1: So the bedazzled dancing food play is back?
Ezn: This play is something that would totally happen in Ponyville, you guys.

“I’ve asked Sweetie Belle but she’s refused to tell me; says we’ll find out today. She seems really excited though.”

“Is she going to be acting in the play or she helping some other way?”

“My sister wanted to help with the costumes but... after she mentioned to Cheerilee that she was the one that made the costumes for the Crusaders’ appearance in the talent show she encouraged Sweetie Belle to take on one of the acting parts... a part with singing.”

“Oh, that’s good. Sweetie Belle has such an amazing voice, it will be nice to hear her sing.”

“Yes it will. Personally, I’d bet that she’s destined to be a great singer...

Disco: Or a dictionary.
DiStort: Or a singing dictionary.
Crazy56U: Please; that's too silly for this series.
Anonymous: ...but not for Past Sins...
Ezn: This is your singing dictionary, I hope it finds you well!
Ezn: You're invited to a lecture 'cause we want you to go to Hell!

but we just can’t be sure until that little cutie mark of hers appears, can we?”

Twilight shook her head as the pair began getting close to the school house. While the school and its playground were set up on one side of the path, the school’s outdoor stage was set up on the opposite side of the road. The one and only permanent stage in Ponyville, unless you counted the town hall.

Anon13: Then again, considering the farces and tragedies that happen there...

Cheerilee was standing in the center of the many colts and fillies, giving directions to the eagerly listening young ponies. After all, doing the play meant they got out of normal school work

CTOONfan1: On second thought, dress me up as a ruby pie!

for at least part of the day. Still, when Cheerilee saw Twilight and Rarity approaching, the teacher decided to let the students slip off to recess a little earlier than scheduled so she could talk with the two unicorns.

“You two have excellent timing.” Cheerilee offered

Vimbert: A deep bow to her betters, as was befitting of her race.

as the children ran off to play, Nyx giving a wave to Twilight before running off with her friends. “I was just telling the class how you were kind enough to volunteer your time to help us make this play.”

Casca: Parent-teacher Relations 101: Tell guardian that he/she is being given credit for efforts to distract them from the lack of actual work being done.

“Glad to help Cheerilee, though we still haven’t been told just what the play is supposed to be about.”

“Oh, of course. Here.” Cheerilee replied, using a hoof to push a few scripts across the ground. Twilight picked up the one on top, Rarity looking over the purple unicorn’s shoulder as they read the title on the script.

CTOONfan1: “High Stable Musical”?
Crazy56U: (tries to leave) Darn it, the door's locked.
Vimbert: I've been trying to dig my way out, but since I'm not a filthy earth pony I'm not getting anywhere.

“Reunion of the Royal Pony Sister.”

Anonymous: We can all tell this will end just fine.

Twilight read aloud.

“Yes, it was Nyx’s idea. She found an old fairy tale about how Celestia and Luna kept the world in balance, and then how Luna became the frightful Nightmare Moon. Apple Bloom then had the idea to incorporate the adventure you and your friends had where you beat Nightmare Moon and restored Princess Luna back to normal.”

Disco: When in doubt, plagiarize.
Anonymous: I think I can hear Season 1 crying from here.

“Wow, that’s actually not a bad story. A little fairy tale.” Rarity mused.

Crazy56U: Damn, Rarity just burned the Season 1 premiere!
Disco: It’s a fanfic within a fanfic!
DiStort: FANFICCEPTION.
Anon13: We have to go derper!
RingmasterJ5: Yo, dawg. We put a fanfic in a mock of a fanfic so you can read while you mock while you read!

“What are the plays usually about?”

“Well, at least when I was a filly, our Spring Festival play was about a pony picnic that got stolen by ants. It was... cute... but not exactly what you would call great theater.

Disco: Unlike ripping off a children’s cartoon.

But this actually looks passable.” Rarity offered, flipping through another copy of the script. “Oh, and look here, one of the songs they sing, it’s the one Pinkie Pie sang

CTOONfan1: Be more specific, please.
Vimbert: Maybe we should include a link just in case.

when we were in Everfree Forest.”

“You mean when she was telling us to giggle at the ghosties and crack up at the creepy?” Twilight asked, flipping to the same page in the script.

“The very one. Oh, I can only imagine how Pinkie Pie will react when she hears them singing it. We won’t be able to stop her from bouncing for days.”

Twilight giggled, picturing Pinkie Pie’s reaction.

“Yea, she’ll probably start singing along right there in the audience.

Anonymous: Screw the audience. She's gonna jump on stage.

Still, this looks fun.”

“Oh yes, its going to be one of the best plays the school has ever put on!” Cheerilee energetically agreed.

Disco: Not like the standards are high.

“I’ve actually pulled together both classes because there are just so many parts to play and things to be done. And we’ve already got all the character’s casted.

Anon13: They’re made of pewter, and will be sold on TV for the Franklin Mint.

You can see who is who on the first page.”

Twilight and Rarity nodded, flipping to the first page of the script.

CTOONfan1: Or, What Happens When Your Sister Thinks She Got The Short Stick





Disco: At least we know who to blame.















simonAJ: I cast 404 at the darkness!
Crazy56U: Figures they got the worst Starfleet captain to be in this.
Anon13: Would you want Shatner in this role?
RingmasterJ5: Yes, actually.
Disco: It’d make this play somewhat entertaining.





Isphone: Convenient...
Anonymous: Like I said. It'll all be fine.
Disco: But where’s Derpy?!
Crazy56U: Hiding in the chicken coop.

Anon13: There’s a pony named after bleach?
DiStort: Dear God, that's a lot of links.
Anonymous: Lot of broken links.
Ezn: Remind me to thank Pen for graciously giving us these ponies’ contact details. I’m planning to put on a play, you see...

“Zecora... I’m surprised you were able to get her to be the narrator.” Rarity said, glancing up from the page.”

Ezn: “I didn’t know zebras could read!”
Vimbert: “Next you’ll tell me that filthy earth ponies can... err...”

“It was Apple Bloom that actually convinced her. From what I hear, she has a great voice.”

“Oh yes, her voice is perfect for a story of this kind of genre, narrating an epic tale. Yet, I’d suggest you let her come up with her own lines.”

“Why is that?”

Disco: She actually has taste.

“Zecora speaks in rhymes very naturally, and having a rhyming narrator would just give the whole play a very old fairytale appeal.

Crazy56U: Wrongo. It'll give the whole play a Dr. Seuss-ish appeal.

That, and I can’t imagine what her voice would sound like if she didn’t rhyme as she does.”

Disco: Normal?

“I’ll be sure to sit down with her then and work on the script.”

Ezn: “She can make the sandwiches and lemonade!”

Rarity smiled with a nod, reading further down the page.

Ezn: She then frowned with a cringe, barely containing her rage.

“Well, would you look at that. Sweetie Belle is going to be playing me. Though, I supposed that makes sense. She does have my wonderful white coat.

Ezn: “I lost it to her in a bet.”
Disco: “And my terrible personality.”
Vimbert: *nods*

Oh, and Scootaloo gets to be Rainbow Dash! She must be positively ecstatic!”

Ezn: “Now she can pretend to be a pony who other ponies care about!”

“Oh yes.” Cheerilee agreed. “Scootaloo was practically begging for the chance to play Rainbow Dash

CTOONfan1: Are you sure you don't mean "bribing" or "threatening"?
Anon13: I would guess "incessantly whining".

the moment realized

CTOONfan1: The moments are apparently alive.
Anon13: ♫ With the sound of faaaailuuuuure....[]♫

she’d be a character in a play. It is also a character that suits her, since she talks so much like Rainbow Dash.”

Disco: She also worships a small effigy made of Dash’s used chewing gum.

“Yes, Scootaloo is definitely a filly who you hear saying ‘awesome’ just about as much as Dash.” Rarity agreed, continuing to read down the page.

Ezn: An astute observation, my good lady.

“Let’s see, don’t know her, or her, or her... wait, Sea Serpent? Do you mean Steven Magnet?”

“Who?”

“Steven Magnet, that’s the name of the sea serpent we met on our way to find the Elements of Harmony.

CTOONfan1: And you learned this... when?
Ezn: “Well, that’s what this strange pony called Youtube Caption told us. She kind of scares me, actually.”

Oh, I do hope you are portraying him well. Such a well groomed and polite

Disco: And simply fabulous!

sea serpent shouldn’t be relegated to a role of a simple monster.

Ezn: “You have a point there. I think we should rename the play ‘Steven Magnet and the Pony Sisters’. We could even call it ‘Magnet!’ and do a musical...”
Blahdeblah: Yet another story that I would much rather be reading.

Wouldn’t you agree Twilight?....... Twilight?”

Rarity and Cheerilee turned to look at Twilight, the unicorn stiff as a statue and a few shades paler than she normally was.

Disco: The cockatrice finally got its revenge!

“Twilight, Dear, what’s wrong?” Rarity asked, noticing the unicorn’s eyes were focused on the page. Returning to her own copy of the script, Rarity read down a few more lines and then froze up too,

CTOONfan1: It strikes again! Someone get Fluttershy quick!

eyes narrowing.

“Is... is something wrong?” Cheerilee asked, concerned why the two unicorns were acting the way they were.

Ezn: It’s ‘cause they’re unicorns, dear. Weirdo magic does something to their brains.

“Oh... oh, of course not, Dear.”

Vimbert: Twilight, angered at being ignored in favor of Dear, left the fic.

Rarity replied, regaining her composure. “I was just curious about some of your casting. For example, what makes you feel Nyx will play a good Nightmare Moon?

Ezn: “It’s mainly because she’s black. The villain has to be black.”
Svensvenderson: But then won't she die first?
Anon13: No, no, no, being the main villain makes her an exception to that rule. She won't die until right before the closing credits.
RingmasterJ5: Only to be revived in the obligatory post-credits Sequel Hook.

She is, after all, such a sweetheart and Nightmare Moon is... well...”

Crazy56U: A hammy excuse of a villain?
Anon13: But still better than Serpent-Tyrant.

“That’s the point of acting, Rarity, to be characters we usually aren’t.

CTOONfan1: For instance, I'm acting right now like I give a crap!
Ezn: Oh! Let me try! *Ahem* i luv nyx shes sooo cwot pas syns is gratest wrok of literture evar!!1!

Besides, it was Scootaloo that suggested it

Disco: Because she’s such a fountain of good ideas.

and everypony in class agreed that Nyx would do the best Nightmare Moon,

Ezn: They decided to settle for doing Nightmare Moons of lesser quality

if only because she has a black coat.

Ezn: THAT’S RACIST!

I asked Nyx if she was okay with that, and she didn’t seem to mind at all.”

Ezn: “Well, she might have complained, but I don’t speak Mary-Sue.”

”Oh, well it’s good to know Nyx is looking forward to the role.”

Anon13: Ignore that ominous trumpet sting that just sounded out of nowhere.

“It is, especially because it’s one of the characters that has a lot of lines. Not as much as, say, your character, Twilight, but still a significant amount of lines.

Ezn: Litres and litres of lines! So much lines!

Still, I have little doubt Nyx will be able to memorize what she needs to say.”

“Of course, she’ll be a perfect Nightmare Moon.

Ezn: DUN DUN DUN!

Don’t you agree Twilight?” Rarity said, elbowing the purple unicorn in the side and snapping her out of her shock.

“Oh... oh yes of course. Perfect.” Twilight said with a forced grin.

==============

“But WHY!?”

Disco: That’s what the readers ask every couple of sentences.

“I’m sorry Nyx, you just... you can’t be in the play.”

Ezn: “It’s not you, it’s me. The play, that is. It’s afraid of commitment.”

“But...but that isn’t fair!” The black filly whined, stomping her hoof.

Ezn: A simple mare, living simple dreams...

“The play’s tomorrow! They won’t be able to do perform without me!”

Ezn: “They’re not even able to do perform with me!”

Twilight frowned, feeling her heart twist in her chest.

Casca: Bedurn'd burritos.

It had been a few weeks since the unicorn found out the little filly was going to be Nightmare Moon in the play, and over those two weeks Twilight had agonized over what to do.

Ezn: So much so that she lost her past perfect tense in the middle of this sentence.

Whether to let Nyx participate in the play or to make up an excuse and keep her at the library.

Disco: Twi’s cutie mark really represents indecision.

Twilight had actually started leaning towards letting Nyx be in the play, considering how much fun she seemed to be having. Two things, however, quickly changed Twilight’s mind.

CTOONfan1: Common and sense.
Vimbert: Oh no, she's afflicted too!

The first was

Ezn: that she liked watching Nyx suffer

the announcement that Celestia and Luna were going to be attending the Spring Festival, having heard that the Ponyville School was going to be telling the story of Luna’s return, the first stage performance of the story.

Twilight knew Nyx’s disguise could fool common ponies, but she couldn’t expect it to fool Celestia and Luna. Luna had been Nightmare Moon

Crazy56U: Gee, thanks for reminding us, Sherlock.

and Celestia was arguably just as familiar with the Mare in the Moon.

Svensvenderson: What with the banishing and all.
Ezn: You only really know someone after you banish them to the moon.

They would surely notice Nyx’s resemblance,

Ezn: What? Nyx has a resemblance? I want one of those!

and Twilight feared Nyx would be banished on the spot.

Disco: We couldn’t possibly be that lucky.

The other thing that that had swayed Twilight was when she finally got to see Nyx’s costume.

Ezn: That sure did sway Twilight (nudge nudge, wink wink)!

The armor was made of stiff fabric and wire, the wings were fake, and the sparkling mane was obviously just purple fabric with sparkles... but it was enough that Nyx looked just too much like Nightmare Moon,

DiStort: Nightmare Moon would probably take that as an insult.
Hellioning: I was unaware that Nightmare Moon was the size of a little filly when she was trying to take over the world.
Ezn: You've gotta watch the episodes quite a few times to pick up these little details.

especially with the moon cutie mark painted on her flank. Sure, some ponies in Ponyville might just think the costume was wonderful... but still Twilight feared they would draw unwanted connections.

Ezn: I prefer to draw unwanted conclusions, but that’s just me.

“I’m... I’m sorry Nyx, but they’ll just have to do the play without you.” Twilight assured.

“NO! It’s not fair! I’ve worked really hard and I learned all my lines!”

Disco: “I watched the episode ten times!”
Ezn: Pshh, amateur.

Nyx threw out,

Vimbert: some dope rhymes, revolutionizing the industry forever.
Ezn: “Yo my name is Nyx and I don’t no got ticks!
I’m an alicorn reanimated nightmare!
My Mary-Sue skills make you care!
The level of cuteness I’m throwing down
is over nine thousand, soyouwillbe going down
Down to E-Q-Daily, where you will love me
I’m super adorable, you will see
You’ll draw some fanart, until you’re sick
You’ll make sixty-seven threads on /fic/
Haters gonna hate, but I’m still sinnin’ in the past
You best read my story, I promise it’s a blast
N-Dawg OUT”
Anon13: Mad props, Ezn. Word. (Or whatever the hell they’re saying these days.
Crazy56U: I'd answer, but then I would be the whitest (and nerdiest) guy in the universe.
Disco: I’m jiggy with it.
Crazy56U: ...PAST SINS VERSION OF "EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY"! Pen Stroke, make it so!
RingmasterJ5: Who would Nyx battle? Actually...make it an “EPIC RAP BATTLES OF BAD MLP FANFICTION!” and have her battle Lightning Dawn. (All these future references must be confusing the hell out of everyone just starting with this MST.)
Anon13: Let’s just say people will look back on this and laugh.
RingmasterJ5: They’ll probably laugh harder at the MiB mock.

starting to enter a tantrum.

simonAJ: "Sorry miss, this tantrum's full. Try the one down the street."

“Nyx...”

“IT”

“NYX!” Twilight barked, forcing the filly to fall silent.

Disco: Twilight speaks fluent Dog.

“I”m sorry, I really am, but this is just how it has to be. Now, I want you to go upstairs and take that costume off.”

Disco: “You’d better be naked when I come up there!”

“But...”

“Upstairs!” Twilight said, stamping her hoof. Nyx met Twilight’s hard gaze... and then began to tear up. Breaking into a gallop, Nyx ran upstairs, crying the whole way before slamming the bedroom shut behind her.

Crazy56U: Oh, good one, Twi!

“Twilight, don’t you think you could just let her be in the play?” Spike asked. “I mean, she was really looking forward to it.”

Disco: No one else was.

“I know she was Spike, and I want to let her but... it’s just too risky. If Celestia and Luna were to figure out the truth,

Ezn: “I do not believe that they would be able to handle it.”

that she was made by the spell those cultists were casting... they’d banish her to the moon... take her away.

Ezn: “Even... even if she doesn’t like bananas.”

I... I can’t let that happen.”

Svensvenderson: "No matter how much I want to."
Anon13: On behalf of the readers... DO IT! DO IT NOW!
Disco: You can do it, Twi! Just believe in the me that believes in you!

“Do you really think Celestia would just do that? I mean, she trusts you completely. I’m sure you could convince her that Nyx isn’t Nightmare Moon.”

“I’m glad you think so Spike... but I just can’t risk it.”

Ezn: “This story’s still got another sixteen chapters to go!”

==============

“Now Spike and I

Disco: “But not Past Spike and I. Don’t want to create a time paradox.”

have to meet with the princesses this evening. Celestia expects me and him to be there to watch the evening performances with her and Luna.”

Crazy56U: "And if I'm tardy, I'm going to go bucking insane, so I have to leave now."

Twilight said, talking to Nyx, the filly dressed in her normal, everyday clothes. “Owlowiscious will be keeping an eye on you, and I expect you to behave for him.”

“Yes Ma’am.” Nyx said, the tone of disappointment thick

Svensvenderson: With just a hint of scorn for flavor.
Ezn: She was positively italic with disappointment and scorn.

in her voice.

“And... I am sorry Nyx, and I promise I’ll make this up to you.” Twilight said, having to turn to leave. “Now, try not to think about it. Spike and I will be back soon.”

Disco: Scootaloo’s mother said the same thing.
Ezn: I heard she left a note.

“Okay...”

With that Twilight stepped out the door, closing it tightly behind her.Owlowiscious then flew across the room, taking the key from the door lock in his talons before landing on the edge of Twilight’s writing desk.

Nyx’s eye brows furrowed once Twilight was gone, the little filly kicking at some books on the floor as she stomped around the floor.

Ezn: The books bounced around on the floor while the carpet sat on the floor and the floor held up the walls.

“It isn’t fair... it isn’t fair! Cheerilee is expecting me to be there, they’re all counting on me! I practiced so hard! It isn’t fair....”

“Hoo.”

DiStort: Translation: SHUT UP.

Nyx looked over at Owlowiscious, the horned owl watching her. Nyx then went wide eyed, quickly scampering over to the owl.

Disco: There was no food in the library, and she was starving.

“Please, Owlowiscious, let me go to the play. Everypony is counting on me. They won’t be able to do it without me. I’m supposed to be Nightmare Moon and you can’t tell the story without Nightmare Moon.”

Crazy56U: For some reason, her shadow moved when she said that.
Ezn: Meta.

“Hoo?”

“Nightmare Moon, the bad mare.

Ezn: Bad mare! Bad mare!Bad mare! She’s bad!

Please, Owlowiscious... Please please please please PLEEAASSEEE.”

Casca: The power of caps lock compels you!
Disco: Ugh, Rarity flashback.
Vimbert: I know that feel.

The owl’s gaze met Nyx’s for a moment,

CTOONfan1: They leaned in and... oh sorry. Wrong fic.
Crazy56U: ... (scoots away)
RingmasterJ5: Sadly, that probably exists.

the filly looking up at him with the biggest, most pleading eyes she could muster. She was evening

Casca: Because being a certain time of day will do wonders for your complexion.
Hellioning: I dunno, it doesn't seem to do much for Twilight.

doing a trick Sweetie Belle taught her, the filly pushing out her bottom lip in a pout.

Ezn: Then the owl pecked off her face for being an emotionally manipulative little brat.

“Hoo....”

Casca: Translation: Darn this plot, it drives me to betray my owner.

The owl replied, almost in defeat. Taking off, he flew across the room and expertly placed the key in the door lock.

Ezn: “When you bin doin’ this as long as I have kid, puttin’ a key in a lock’s as easy as puttin’ a key in a lock.”

He then flew around, making another pass as he turned the key and opened the door.

Disco: No! Look what you’ve done! Bad owl!
Ezn: Bad owl! Bad owl! Bad owl! He’s bad!
Crazy56U: Silly Disco; the plot says this is a GOOD thing! ...I think.

“OH! Thank you Owlowiscious! Thank you thank you thank you!!!” Nyx said with several bounces before running upstairs.

Ezn: Where she was met by the police and taken to jail for exclamation point abuse.

In a flash the filly alicorn got out of her vest and tossed off her glasses

Ezn: I don’t really even need to say it anymore.

before pulling out her costume.

Casca: I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Ezn: The rest of the night was spent trolling Omegle.

With a single leap Nyx landed in all four of the costume shoes

Svensvenderson: Able to land in four shoes in a single bound!

and began putting on other bits of fake armor.

Disco: “Comic-Con, here I come!”

Cheerilee would paint on the cutie mark once Nyx got to the performance, but first she needed to get on her fake wings.

Ezn: Cheerilee was kinda weird about painting that way.

While it seemed pointless, since the filly alicorn already had wings,Twilight insisted that if she was going to be in the play that she had to wear the fake wings that went with the costume and keep her wings hidden underneath.

Ezn: Plothole averted!

The fake wings, however, were difficult to get on. The one part of the costume that wasn’t very well designed and usually needed to be put on before the helmet, which Nyx was already wearing. Still, not wanting to waste time taking off the helmet, Nyx struggled to just get the wings on. She was making progress

CTOONfan1: Actually, I think Andrew Joshua Talon writes that.
Crazy56U: Great, now we have two cases of plagiarizing! Pen Stroke is SO sued!

after fumbling with the wings for a few minutes, only to trip tripped

CTOONfan1: Double the tripping, double the OUCH!
Ezn: Huzzah!
Anon13: That often happens when you don't put your verb tenses where they belong.

over her own hooves. The wings hit the floor and Nyx landed on top of them, the fall punctuated by the sound of snapping wood.

Ezn: I wish more things in this story would be punctuated.

“Oh no!” Nyx half shouted,

Vimbert: Half-whimpered

looking at the now horribly bent wings.

Disco: It’s just like every Rainbow Dash fic ever!
Ezn: “Help! Help! Someone did a find-and-replace with Nyx and Rainbow Dash on the Past Sins docs and now Seth has banned the fic!”

The filly pushed at them with her hoof, which only caused one of the fake wings to snap in half. She looked down at the costume wings for a time, and then glanced back at hers.

“It... it will be fine. I just have to keep my wings standing up.” Nyx said, smiling as she extended her little wings vertically.

Disco: Must...resist...wingboner joke!
Anonymous: I won't! WINGBONER! HAH!
Crazy56U: Dude! She's a filly!
RingmasterJ5: Uhh, Crazy, you do realize that Twilight’s probably taught her all about that during their “special times”, right?
Anon13: With help from Rarity’s “Special” book collection?
RingmasterJ5: Yes, those are used to weigh her down.
Disco: Wow.
Anon13: … you went there.
RingmasterJ5: It happens when you’ve read every ComicsNix fic. You go EVERYWHERE with fanfic sex jokes.

The filly knew she was going to be in SO much trouble with Twilight once she got home, but that didn’t matter at the moment. She had responsibility to her friends and the rest of her class.

Disco: By stopping that travesty of a play.

Making sure the rest of her costume was secured and in good shape, Nyx galloped back downstairs and out the front door, racing towards the Spring Festival after offering a final loud “Thank you!” to Owlowiscious, who replied with his characteristic hoot.

CTOONfan1: It's literally all he has to his character.

=====================================================================

DiStort: More than you can count.

Hellioning: And thank Faust for that.





Crazy56U: Tonight, on a very special Jerry Springer.



Twilight, along with the rest of the audience, applauded as the preceding performance ended.

CTOONfan1: Thank Celestia it's over!
Crazy56U: Not even close, junior.

All of Ponyville as well as a number of ponies from other towns were sitting in the city’s central square, which had been transformed into a outdoor theater for the Spring Festival.

Ezn: Theater is a art.

A large stage, with all the bells and whistles of proper lighting and the such,

Anon13: Whoa, the such is in this? Awsum!!!
Drizzel: EXCELLENT! (guitar riff)

had been set up on one side of the plaza that surrounded the town hall. The area was packed with ponies, all eagerly standing

Ezn: Dayum, that standing. I know I get eager when I’m standing.

and waiting to see the many performances. Twilight, however, wasn’t among the ponies below but instead was seated up on a balcony of the town hall.

Svensvenderson: 'Cause she's special.

She, Spike, and her friends had been invited to sit with Princess Celestia and Luna

Disco: and her abacus

in what was being called the VIP section, for

Disco: Vaguely Idiotic Protagonists?
Vimbert: Very Idiotic Protagonists.

Very Important Ponies.

“Oh, that was a funny one!

GelidEnmity: “So funny I completely went out of character!”
Vimbert: “Not that anypony noticed, because none of us are in character!”

I loved the one part where they threw a pie.” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing on her sitting cushion.

Vimbert: “Pinkie Pie, that was all they did for twenty-five minutes.”

“Yea,” Rainbow Dash agreed, “That was pretty sweet.”

Vimbert: Unfortunately for Rainbow Dash, the pies had been left out too long, and were becoming decidedly sour by that point.

“Total laugh riot.” Spike added.

GelidEnmity: “The laughs circled around the bank, screaming ‘We are the 99%!’ while being sprayed in the face with pepper spray.”

“The humor was low brow...

CTOONfan1: Is there any better?

but enjoyable.” Rarity offered as a counter point.

Vimbert: She counters a point by agreeing completely. Master debater Rarity is not.

“Though I particularly liked the joke about blues music.”

Ezn: And suddenly this fic became Tangled Up in Blues.
DiStort: Wait, Equestria has blues music? Who invented it? Zebras?
Svensvenderson: I smell a Blues Brothers crossover fanfic in the works.
Crazy56U: Not before the "Big Lebowski" crossover; Season 2 demands it.

“Really? Cause that one was kind of stupid if you ask me.” Applejack argued.

“It must have simply gone over your head.”

GelidEnmity: Much like everything in her school years.
Vimbert: Well, she isan earth pony.

“Really, then wouldn’t it have hit her hat?” Pinkie Pie asked, a question that made Rainbow Dash snort.

Svensvenderson:Just say no RD!
Ungulateman: Winners don’t do drugs!

“Oh... oh geeze, somepony should tell those stallions that one; that’s a joke that should be in a play.”

The others were giggling right along with Dash, including Celestia and Luna.

Anonymous: The abacus just made a few clacking noises.
Ungulateman: Luna then spent the next several years studying her abacus’ newfound language instead of being in this fic. THE END.

While the group of ponies had been a little tense around the royal sisters at first,

CTOONfan1: "Don't send us to the moon" was heard a few times.
Drizzel: A few others were panicking about bananas for some reason.

a few good performances and Celestia cracking a particularly witty joke let everypony act a bit more casually.

Disco: Celestia riffs in her free time.
Anon13: She actually knew the bit about the young colt from Nantucket.

“So, what’s next on the program Sister?” Luna asked, eager to see what’s next.

Ezn: “Banana break.”
Private Sprinkles: "I think we should go to wonderful play called Cupca-" "NO!" "awww"
Anonymous: The no came from Pinkie.
Svensvenderson: And everypony else, everywhere.

“Let’s see... the Reunion of the Royal Pony Sisters by the Ponyville Elementary School.”

“Oh yeah, this is the one I’ve been waiting for.” Dash said eagerly, sitting up on her cushion. “This is the one about us!”

Disco: “Get your rotten tomatoes ready!”

“Personally, I just hope Apple Bloom don’t make me look like a foal.” Applejack admitted.

Disco: A bit late for that, AJ.
Ezn: You’re already a silly pony.

“Don’t need no ponies snickerin’ behind my back because of this.”

Disco: Don’t worry, they’ll laugh in your face.

“I’m sure Apple Bloom will do fine.” Fluttershy reassured. “After all, she actually knows you. I don’t even know the pony whose going to be playing me.”

GelidEnmity: When Fluttershy stopped talking, the camera panned to reveal a fat pony with foals attempting to escape her folds.

“Yea, I guess yer right.

GelidEnmity: Not her left?

Hey, says here in this program they got Nyx to play Nightmare Moon.”

“Really! That’s awesome! I bet she’s gonna make a great Nightmare Moon.” Rainbow Dash offered.

CTOONfan1: Oh you have no idea.
Anon13: Spoilers, dude.... oh who am I kidding.

“I... I wouldn’t get your hopes up, Girls. Nyx

GelidEnmity: From now on, I’ll always yell at the mention of Nyx.
NYYYYYYYYYYYX!!!
Midnight: Hi Nyx, would you mind playing yourself because we’re not quite sure that everypony is ostracising the incarnate remnant of evil quite enough this week.

wasn’t feeling well earlier.”

“Oh, the poor thing; did she have a stomach ache?” Fluttershy asked.

Ezn: “You could probably call it that, yeah.”

“Oh yes, really nasty tummy ache.” “Twilight lied.

Disco: Our heroine, folks.
GelidEnmity: Did she eat too many apples?
Vimbert: Apples filled with POIZEN

“I actually left her back at the library with Owlowiscious.

Svensvenderson: “Who?”
Crazy56U: That is true, Who is in fact on first base.

I doubt she’ll be able to make it.”

“Twilight, it sounds like this little filly is living with you.” Celestia pointed out. “I’m surprised you haven’t told me.”

Vimbert: “We weren’t going to reach pedophilia until next month. I applaud your enthusiasm.”

“Oh... really? Ha ha...

Private Sprinkles: What a story Mark. So how is your sex life?
Crazy56U: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, SPRINKLES!
Ungulateman: Oh, hi doggy.
GelidEnmity: Doggy: “Don’t touch me mother focker!”

I thought I’d told you about her back when she first arrived. She’s my cousin... half-cousin,

Ezn: and half-shouted
Ungulateman: It’s not very nice to buy someone half a drink.

really ... but yea, she’s been staying with me for a while now.” Twilight answered, trying to keep as casual as possible but unable to stop herself from putting on

Ezn: formalwear
Ungulateman: airs of nobility

a stupid, forced smile.

Disco: Twi, Celestia doesn’t even need to be omnipotent to know you’re lying.
Anonymous: Its official. Twi is now a worse liar than AJ.

“Well, I do hope you’ll introduce me to her.”

Vimbert: Someone botched a Sense Motive roll.
CTOONfan1: Apparently living over 1000 years and ruling a country hasn't taught her how to read an obvious lie.
Ungulateman: I’m more worried about what Molestia would do to Nyx.

“I’d love to, but like I said she wasn’t feeling well so she may not be up to it this evening.”

Ungulateman: Go on. Read this out of context. Consider Molestia. Read it out of context again.

“I understand. Perhaps another time.” Celestia assured,

Vimbert: And another botch.
Anon13: Dude. Get new dice, yours suck.

turning her pink eyes

Ezn: And suddenly this fic became a popular Fallout Equestria spinoff.

back to the stage where Ponyville’s mayor was stepping out.

Disco: “I’ll banish her one of these days.”

“Ladies and Gentlecolts,

Vimbert: No “Fillies and gentlecolts”? PAST SINS CANON STATUS LOST

I am now proud to present the Ponyville Elementary School’s original

Ezn: lol

play, The Reunion of the Royal Pony Sisters.”

DiStort: "Copyright Cheerilee."
Anonymous: Ahem You mean: Stolen by Cherilee.
Crazy56U: Hey, what Faust doesn't know won't hurt her, right?
Anonymous: But Faust knows all.
Vimbert: No, you see, Cherilee made a FAUSTian bargain to obtain the rights.

The crowd applauded, the parents in the crowd particularly loud

Vimbert: As they had been drinking to dull the pain.

as the mayor stepped off the stage and the curtains opened. Some smoke began to curl out from the stage, a few dark set pieces looming in the sea of mist.

Disco: Oh, look. Someone set the stage on fire. Can we go home now?

The only light came from the stars and moon above, and for a moment all things were quiet.

“Beware... Beware you pony folk, for the tale I am about to tell is no joke.

Disco: You sure about that, Zecora?
Vimbert: Unlike the tale we’re reading.
Ezn: Beware, beware, you riffing folk, for this riff here is no- oh wait...
Midnight: beware beware you zebra folk, to speak in rhyme, it is no joke. If your meter’s off or candence wide, your poetic license will be denied.

A story begun in days, months, and years gone by, about the pony sisters who, in harmony, ruled the sky.”

simonAJ: The Earth was left to the care of some guy named John.
Anon13: He didn't mind, he had a well-cared-for lawn.
Midnight: And as we all know, earth ponies ruled the land and the sea ponies ruled the sea. shoo-shoo-be-doo.

At this one of the set pieces on the stage moved, causing a few ponies to gasp as the figure stepped forward and one of the stage lights clicked on. Zecora stood for a moment in her cloak, eyes glowing beneath the hood, but she then lowered it and offered a smile to the crowd, taking in their shocked faces.

Disco: “Ugh, what’s a zebra doing here?!”
Vimbert: Even the earth ponies could look down at a zebra.

“The eldest did guide the sun, raising it up at the dawn. The other brought the moon to the sky when the day had ended and the sun to bed had gone.”

Ezn: A half-rhyme at best. Minus 9001 points.
Midnight: That... that was supposed to rhyme?
Ungulateman: I dunno, accents make rhymes hard. Damn zebras.

At this two more lights clicked on stage, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing on either side the stage in their Luna and Celestia costumes.

CTOONfan1: Celestia: I don't really look that much like a bitch, do I?
Private Sprinkles: DOES SHE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!?

As Zecora stepped to one side of the stage, where she would narrate the rest of the play, the two little fillies climbed up some steps hidden behind the backdrop of the play, standing on the backs of the painted wooden mountains while a number of the other students came out and began to dance and play on stage.

“The two sisters brought harmony to the world as they brought balance to the moon and sun,

Ezn: The moon and sun have notoriously complicated accounting records.

and beneath their guidance all different ponies lived, laughed, and had fun.”

“Wow, Zecora is doing a really good job with the whole narrator thing.”

Ezn: “I guess zebras are good for something after all!”

Dash whispered to Applejack, the pair sitting next to each other.

Disco: Appledash sense is tingling!

Anon13: “I’ve totally forgotten everypony’s names, so I just call you all ‘Sugarcube’ like it’s all there is to my character.”

“But, not all would be well in Equestria as the younger sister grew resentful, her actions set to make the future of the land quite eventful.

Crazy56U: But... the future refused to change. The task was quite out of her range.

The ponies of the land did frolic and play, lived much of their lives under the sun’s golden rays. Yet they slept through the night and its majesty. Something, in truth, that was a horrible tragedy.”

DiStort: This was before the days of nightclubs, sadly.
Anon13: And before serenades done by drunks singing badly.

As Zecora narrated, the fillies and colts on stage performed out the scene.

Ezn: while the foals of indeterminate gender performed in the scene

Diamond Tiara, dressed as Celestia,

Ezn: Just in case you forgot.
Anon13: Goldfish rule still in force.

stood proud as the ponies on stage played and laughed, but then when she hid behind the set pieces and Silver Spoon came out as Luna, the other ponies on stage all quickly fell asleep, some playfully snoring.

Anon13: Even fillies could spot a one-note character.
Vimbert: When not even the actors can stay awake, you know you’ve got a winning script on your hooves.

“In time it all became too much for the younger to bear, to have her night ignored... to feel as if no pony cared. One one fateful night she did protest, refusing to lower the moon in the west. All of this in spite of the elder sister’s

Ezn: tea chest
Midnight: feathered vest?

distress.”

“Luna, why won’t you lower the moon? It’s time for the sun to come up.” Diamond Tiara said, over extending the words as she gave a very forced regal tone to her voice. She and Silver Spoon were on the raised steps behind the plywood mountains again, calling to each other on either side of the stage while the other little actors and actresses continued to pretend to sleep.

Disco: The audience wasn’t pretending.

“I am tired of no pony seeing my night.

CTOONfan1: Well maybe if it wasn't so dark...
Ezn: “Can we just kill all the zebras and dragons and stuff? I don’t want them looking at it.”

I work so hard on it and all they do is sleep through it. It’s beautiful and no pony ever sees it but me.”

Ezn: And then Luna started the goth movement.
Ungulateman: CRAWLIIING IIIN MY SKIIIN THESE WOOOUNDS THEY WIIILL NOT HEEEAL

“Well... well...”

“Looks like somepony forgotten her lines.” Rarity whispered.

CTOONfan1: No I have a script right here. Celestia is supposed to say, "Well... well... oh crap I know what the rest of the story is. Just give me a moment."
Anon13: An earlier draft just had a tirade of swearing here.
The story, not the play.

“Personally, I don’t think it could have happened to a nastier filly. Did you know how she used to tease Apple Bloom?”

simonAJ: IWASN'TBULLIEDINSCHOOLANDTHISISN'TWISHFULFILLMENT I mean... Hi! What?

“Well... what else are ponies supposed to do? It’s too dark to work at night and, like, it’s too bright to sleep during the day.”

Ezn: The play had been tailored to the sensibilities of modern audiences. In a deleted scene, Celestia returns from the sun on a rocket-powered surfboard.

Diamond Tiara finally answered. This caused some chuckles to go through the audience, Luna herself snorting at hearing some pony that was supposed to be playing her sister speaking like that.

CTOONfan1: Hehe. Her failure as an actress brings us joy.

Still, Celestia took it in good humor, chuckling a little to herself as well.

Disco: “Add another one to the Banish List!”
CTOONfan1: Honestly, she should've been on it long ago.

“I don’t care!” Silver Spoon replied, able to remember her lines better than Diamond Tiara. “I won’t have my work be ignored anymore. They are going to see the majesty of my night, whether they want to or not.”

CTOONfan1: I shall teach them all to sleep with their eyes OPEN!

“But Sister...” Diamond Tiara called, only for her voice to fall silence as the light on Silver Spoon grew dark

Svensvenderson: We always knew Sliver Spoon was a bit dim...
Crazy56U: Uh, no. She was the smartest of the pair.
Anonymous: And yet still the equivalent of a damp match.
Anon13: This is like the perennial debate over whether Beavis or Butthead is "the smart one".

and Zecora began narrating again.

“But it was too late for kind words to sooth the younger’s heart, too deeply had she been hurt by the ponies who ignored her sky bound art. The bitterness inside her did twist, writhe, and contort, to the point that even the princess’ exterior did

Ezn: come apart

distort.

“Gone was her gentle visage in the emotional monsoon, behind all that was left was the dreadful Nightmare Moon!”

The light on the right side of the stage clicked on again, and gasps cut through the audience.

Ezn: killing hundreds. The event later came to be called the Great Gasp Massacre

Silver Spoon had been replaced by another little filly, with wings stretched high and perfectly still and an all black coat.

Ezn: I WONDER WHO THIS COULD BE...

On her flank was a fairly well painted crescent moon cutie mark and the fake armor looked rather convincing from a distance. The final touch was the filly’s eyes, which appeared to be shaped like dragon eyes,

Ezn: It took some extensive surgery to make them not look like daggers.

a brilliant turquoise with the whites of the eyes replaced with a lighter, blue/green color.

Disco: Her glasses! She can’t be seen without her glasses!

“Hey look, Nyx made it!” Applejack whisper-cheered.

Anon13: OK, how exactly would you do that without hurting yourself?
Ezn: You’ve gotta half-whisper, half-cheer. Every character in this story can do that in their sleep.

“Sweet apples, that little fully does pull off a nice Nightmare Moon.”

“Oh... oh yes, of course.” Rarity agreed, glancing nervously at Twilight. “She’s positively a doppelganger.”

Ezn: FORESHADOWING.
Anonymous: You're really pushing it Rarity.

“Yes, it is very impressive.”

Ezn: “I even feel my banishment senses tingling!”

Celestia commented, leaning towards Twilight. “And its good to see she’s over her tummy ache. Must have just been pre-show butterflies.”

Vimbert: Either Celestia has the worst d20 in the world or she’s just toying with Twilight before she busts out the banishment.
Blahdeblah: Well, she IS called "Trollestia" for a reason...

“Uh... uh yeah... butterflies.” Twilight half answered,

Vimbert: Half-yodeled
Ungulateman: And half-sang (three halves? I DON’T CARE!)

the unicorn suddenly feeling like she was about to lose her dinner.

simonAJ: The dinner is the most likable character in the story. If it goes, I'm outta here.

“Never again will the ponies of Equestria see the sun! I do hereby decree that this night shall last forever! MUWAHAHAHA!!!” Nyx

GelidEnmity: NYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYX!!!

said, faking the evil laugh at the end which brought a small round of laughter from the crowd... laughter that made Twilight look around the crowd in disbelief, wondering why an angry mob hadn’t already formed.

Disco: Most of the readers were too bored to make it this far.

“And night did last across the pony lands, despite the elder sister’s pleas and demands. In the end, with no other choice to be made, the elder sister had to take up the crusade. With the Elements of Harmony, a power beyond all measure, the elder banished her sister... an act in which she took no pleasure.”

DiStort: Though that opinion may vary, depending on who you ask.

The lights on the stage began to flicker on and off in a rainbow of colors

Ezn: To Dash’s approval.
CTOONfan1: Giving everypony seizures.
Crazy56U: Celestia summoned a rave to do in Nightmare Moon! Quick, pass out the glow sticks!
Ungulateman: Illegal drugs for everyone!

as Nyx

GelidEnmity: NYYYYYYYYYYX!!!

offered faked cries of anger.

Ezn: Don’t be fooled, people! Get the real deal. Don’t buy fake!

When the lights returned to normal Nyx

CTOONfan1: There's a normal Nyx? Where's she been?
GelidEnmity: NEEEEVER mind I’m getting bored.
simonAJ: Took you this long? Patience of a saint, hot damn.

had disappeared from view and, in her place, a plywood moon had been lowered down into view on which was painted the visage of the Mare in the Moon.

“To the moon the younger was sent, so that the ponies of Equestria she would never again torment.

CTOONfan1: You just know Luna's squirming.

The elder took on duties two fold,

Ezn: and made all the papercraft ponies without any help.

tending both the moon silver and the sun gold. Harmony was returned, the elder’s actions many did commend.

Ezn: Sadly, the previous sentence did not receive a semicolon in the end.

And for a thousand years all was good... but this story is not at its end.”

Disco: No! End this now! Please!
Ezn: Still seven chapters, bro!

===================

While the play had the level of professionalism that you’d expect from something put on by colts and fillies,

Ezn: or fanfiction on the internet, HYUK HYUK
DiStort: Which is to say, zero. Same for talent.

the crowd as a whole was enjoying it, even those who weren’t parents. After the first scene ended the next part of the play was Nightmare Moon’s return and Twilight meeting up with her friends.

Vimbert: And Spike.
Disco: Derpy was snubbed!

The third act was them going through the Everfree Forest, and facing the trials within.

And, of the crowd, Twilight’s friends seemed to be enjoying it the most. Dash was thrilled to see how awesome she was being portrayed by Scootaloo and Applejack and Rarity

simonAJ: Come on, she's not so fat that you need three actors to portray her.
Crazy56U: No pony decided to question why there were 3 Rainbow Dashes in the play now, and they CERTAINLY didn't question why two of them were played by adults.
Vimbert: Oh my god, triple rainbow...
Ezn: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

were also satisfied by how well their sisters were acting. Dinky Doo was pulling off a pretty darn good Twilight, though the little filly tripped on her lines occasionally,

Ezn: A vindictive stagehand had left them lying around, you see.

and Pinkie Pie was still grinning ear to ear

simonAJ: This is a lot less endearing if you actually picture it. Go on, try.
Anonymous: HI GIRLS!

from hearing the pony acting her character and sing the song about ghosties and giggling.

It was something they were all enjoying, even Twilight.

Ezn: They were narcissistic like that.

Nyx had appeared on stage a number of times more.

CTOONfan1: Each time met with all the attention a Mary Sue doesn't deserve but gets anyway.

Okay, not exactly on stage.

Disco: She fell off several times.

She had stood on some steps in the background during the town hall scene and, during the forest scenes, she was lowered down on a rope, saying a few lines about what she had planned next for the little ponies before being raised back up.

Ezn: Sadly not as high as the moon.

The unicorn was furious that Nyx had disobeyed her...

Ezn: Sparkler had never babysat a more badly-behaved filly.

but she didn’t dare risk running off to speak with Nyx in the middle of the show; that would have drawn too much attention.

Crazy56U: Especially considering how she was going to use swears.

That and Celestia and Luna were just sitting there, smiling.

Disco: They were waiting for a chance to strike.
CTOONfan1: It took hours to realize they were wax dummies.

They didn’t seem at all phased with how much Nyx resembled Nightmare Moon,

Hellioning: So...the concept of "good costumes" and "looking like the person being portrayed" are foreign to Twilight?

even though the filly’s true, dragon like eyes were visible to everypony.

Twilight needed to figure out a way to explain that before the play ended, but she couldn’t focus on that too much.

Anonymous: OCD and ADHD!
Disco: They have prescriptions for that.

The fourth act was about to start, each act respectably short, but now it was the climax... the part of the play Twilight worried about the most.

CTOONfan1: She worried her hammy speech on friendship wouldn’t be dramatic enough.
Ezn: Twilight often worried about climaxes.

The fourth act was set to occur against the backdrop of the old castle... and the unicorn feared this scene might dredge up unwanted memories in Nyx.

Disco: Like all of Chapter 1.

Ezn: What made things worse was that Act 5 was to be set against the backdrop of Twilight’s bedroom.

“And with the final trial passed the ponies did arrive, to the resting place of the elements they hoped to revive.” Zecora narrated, the zebra’s part in the play becoming smaller after the first act.

Ezn: In a daring metaphor for the zebra’s part in the labour market.

The six ponies playing Twilight and her friends stepped onto the stage, drawing close to the wooden pedestals that held the fake elements of Harmony.

“The Elements of Harmony, we’ve found them.”

Ezn: No, you’ve found the fake ones! Haven’t you been reading this story?

Dinky Doo chimed out, the unicorn cast to play the role of Twilight.

Disco: In case you’ve forgotten.
Anonymous: We seem to be doing that a lot.
Dark Pinkie: Forgot what?
Anon13: Goldfish rule still in effect.

Unlike the real elements, the fake ones were set on pedestals low enough to the ground that the little colts and fillies were able to get them down without actually having to fly or lift them with magic.

“One, two, three, four... There’s only five!” The pony playing Pinkie Pie chimed out.

Ezn: Earth ponies can’t count! Suspension of disbelief = broken

“Squeee!” Pinkie Pie whispered, trying to keep her voice down but finding it difficult. “I said that... I said that! This is so cool. They got everything just right.”

“That’s mostly because of you, Sugarcube, since you somehow remembered everything we exactly said.”

“Oh, that was easy. I just read the transcript.”

Disco: Pinkie memorized all the episodes.
Anonymous: WARNING. FOURTH WALL BREACHED. Twi, please go get the duct tape.
Ezn: The fic! It’s becoming self-aware!
Dark Pinkie: Self aware fics!? RUN! RUN FOR YOUR PONY LIVES!

“You read the what now?”

“Shhh! I’m trying to watch!” Dash grumbled, knowing her character had a line coming up.

“Where’s the sixth?” Scootaloo asked, she and the other fillies looking around while Dinky Doo stepped forward to the five fake elements.

Ezn: Your mom took it with her when she went to buy you ice-cream, Scoots.

“The book said when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed.”

“What the hay is that supposed to mean?”

DiStort: It means you clearly dicked something up.

Apple Bloom said, pulling off her sisters accent fairly well.

CTOONfan1: You mean the accent she also has?

“I’m not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back, I don’t know what will happen.”

Disco: Can we skip this part and just watch the episode? Please?

“Come on now, y’all. She needs to concentrate.”

Svensvenderson: We’re going to be here a while.

Apple Bloom said, ushering the others fillies off the stage, leaving only Dinky Doo alone with the fake elements. The little unicorn knelt down beside the painted, round props and made her horn glow, not actually attempting to cast a spell but more for the effect.

The stage, however, began to get enveloped by smoke,

Ezn: But stopped about halfway because no-one wanted to lick the envelope.

fog machines in the back casting out the thick white clouds as purple lights shown on the mist. A few of the students, who had slipped out costume, used some ropes to pull the fake pedestal that had held the elements back, out of the middle of the stage.

Hellioning: So, um, the concept of a "stage crew" is foreign to Equestria?

Then, other students working backstage pulled on some fishing string. The fishing string was attached to the fake elements of harmony, causing them to slide away from Dinky Doo and then hang in the air above the right side of the stage while Nyx stepped into view.

Ezn: All this technical information is sure to come in handy when I steal some ponies from the petting zoo and take this show on the road.

“The Elements!” Dinky called, reaching out a hoof.

Ezn: “THEY’RE ALIIIIIIIVE!”

Nyx only replied to this with a laugh, the lights flickering on stage while students smashed pots and pans together in the background to simulate thunder and lighting.

Ezn: VERY VERY FRIGHTENING
Anon13: Galileo, Galileo, Galileo Figaro.....
Disco: MAGNIFICO-O-O

Still, despite her laughter, Dinky did as the real Twilight Sparkle did.

Ezn: and handed Nyx over to the Princesses just in case she was actually Nightmare Moon.
Svensvenderson: Dinky must be a method actor.
Disco: The amount of studying must have scarred her for life.

She lowered her head, and beat her hoof at the ground aggressively.

Ezn: And blew air out of her nose. You forgot that part.

“You're kidding. You're kidding, right?”

Disco: A common reaction to the story.

Dinky, however, charged at Nyx, the black filly doing the same.

Ezn: It had taken a lot of practice before Nyx fully mastered charging at herself.
Isphone: It’s just like chasing your tail, but really fast.

Just as the two were about to cross paths

Svensvenderson: Don’t cross the paths!

the stage lights went pitch black. When the lights came back on Nyx was still in the center of the stage, but Dinky Doo was over by the fake elements, her horn glowing.

CTOONfan1: Suddenly the props were muffins. Mom was so proud.

Some students began flashing flashlights

Ezn: Flashlights? No evidence of flashlights in canon. Past Sins canon status revoked.
Midnight: Again.

on the painted props, trying to make it look like they were starting to activate.

Nyx raced across the stage,

Ezn: bringing fall to a close in record time.

but before she could reach Dinky Doo the stage lights flashed a bright white, a number of them turned out on the audience to blind them as well. When the blinding effect was gone,

Disco: Numerous ponies were rushed to the hospital.

Dinky Doo was on the far side of the stage, looking like she had been thrown back while Nyx stood in the center of the fake Elements of Harmony, the students around her still flicking flashlights on and off and waving them around as if the elements were about to activate.

“No, no!” Nyx snapped, shrinking back in fear of the fake elements, but as in reality the elements did not activate, the students playing with the flashlights stopping while Dinky Doo put on an overly large expression of shock.

Ezn: The expression bunched up around her ankles in a rather unsightly manner.

“But... where's the sixth Element?!”

Hellioning: Um...everywhere? carbon’s pretty common...
Crazy56U: Isn’t it obvious? There IS none! You got Punk’d!

Nyx, however, only broke out her playful, evil laughter as she stomped on the fake Elements of Harmony, causing some of the more invested crowd members to gasp.

Ezn: “Damnit! I knew I shouldn’t have invested in ancient magical stones.”

Twilight, however, was holding her breath.

Disco: She enjoyed indulging in her kinks in public.

This was the moment, this was the part of the play she had worried about the most.

DiStort: This would make or break Nyx’s acting career.

Nyx finished stomping on the last of the elements,

Ezn: Rustle was there with his ruler; the broken bits of element were each less than two centimetres thick.

turning about to face Dinky Doo on the far side

Ezn: brandishing her cow tools

of the stage. The filly put on the wickedest smileshe could manage,

Ezn: She’d spent hours poring over Twilight’s collection before choosing it, and it had not been cheap.

lifting a hoof to point at Dinky.

But then Nyx froze up, her eyes narrowing.

Disco: She had to sneeze.

The audience all leaned forward in anticipation, none more so than Twilight who felt her heart skip a beat.

Ezn: Poor little Miss Who-Felt-Her-Heart-Skip-A-Beat was always picked on at school.

Off stage, Cheerilee calling to Nyx from offstage, not getting into view but close enough she could whisper at the filly, trying to remind her of her lines.

“You... you little foal! Thinking you could defeat me!?” Nyx finally said, her voice shaking at first and then turning very dark, very serious, and very convincing.

Disco: And very redundant.

“Now you will never see your princess, or your sun!

“The night will last forever!” Nyx finished before letting out an evil laugh, the most convincing evil laugh the audience had heard from the filly all evening.

Vimbert: It was about as menacing as Fluttershy when she wasn’t Talking The Monster to Death. BECAUSE IN CASE YOU FORGOT THIS IS A PONY FIC, GUYS
Anon13: Goldfish, Vim. All the best fics assume the reader’s a goldfish.

It sent a shiver down Twilight’s spine, as she had heard the real Nightmare Moon say those very same words and in a very similar way.

Vimbert: It was almost as though someone had tried to recreate every line said! However, Twilight knew such an idea was ridiculous.

It made the unicorn swallow nervously,

Ezn: Still, she swallowed.

looking over at Celestia and Luna. The princesses still seemed to be just enjoying the play...

Disco: Luna was nuzzling her abacus.

but Twilight still couldn’t shake the thought from her mind.

CTOONfan1: “Did I leave the curling iron on?”

Nyx had said those last lines too well.

Anon13: Actual talent in a school play is always suspicious.
Anonymous: Like common sense or plot.

===================

“And thus the night again became ruled over by the younger, banished from her body the vengeful hunger.

Crazy56U: So...Luna went evil because she skipped dinner?

And from this story may a lesson you firmly grip, there is nothing stronger than the power of friendship.”

With those last lines from Zecora the stage curtains fell shut, and the audience broke into a roaring round of applause.

Disco: It’s over! It’s finally over!
Ungulateman: If only the fic was too!

A few moments later the curtains opened, Cheerilee stepping onto the stage and offer a few quick bows and waves.

Ezn: At half-price!

“Thank you all!” The teacher offered. “I’m happy to see you all enjoyed the play.

Ezn: “On an unrelated note, I’ve always had trouble reading emotion in facial expressions.”
DiStort: Actually, they're all just baked out of their minds right now. Good effort, though.

The students worked really hard and, because of their efforts, this became one of the best plays ever put on by Ponyville Elementary School.

Vimbert: It was actually our first, but that’s beside the point!
Isphone: This also technically means it’s the worst.

Now, let’s have a round of applause for these colts and fillies who did such an excellent job. First, a round of applause for the colts and fillies who played our story’s heroes. First, Dinky Doo!”

Ezn: “First, her horn! Clap for her horn’s ability to light up. Second, her mouth! Clap for her mouth’s ability to deliver lines!”

The crowd complied, stomping hooves as the students began to stream onto stage. Cheerilee introduced every filly and colt by name as they came out, doing her best to shout above the applause of her crowd.

Ezn: She had trained them well, and made a note to give them a treat after the show.

The first to come out, doing so one by one, where the fillies who played the parts of Twilight and her friends. Applejack gave out an extra loud holler

Svensvenderson: “YOU STINK!”

when Apple Bloom came on stage, and Rarity put her hooves together and whistled when it was Sweetie Belle stepped out next.

“Next, we have the fillies who portrayed our dearest Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, who grace us with their presence this evening. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.”

Crazy56U: Get the tomatoes ready!

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were the next to come out, acting like proper divas as they smirked and bowed in their Luna and Celestia costumes. They, of course, lingered on the stage for a little longer than they should, soaking in the appropriate and proper amount of applause

Ezn: The ever-diligent Rustle was on hoof with a stopwatch and a decibel meter.

before Cheerilee motioned for them to back up

Ezn: ‘cause their daddies taught them good

and stand with the others.

“And now, playing the wicked and dastardly Nightmare Moon, give a big round of applause for

Ezn: “Nightmare Moon!”

Nyx!”

Twilight was shocked when the crowd cheered very, very loudly as Nyx ran onto stage,

Ezn: Rustle had run some wires between her chair and the decibel meter.

as loud as the applause had been for Dinky Doo and the other fillies who played the mane characters in the play. Applause that was also a whole lot louder than what Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had received, and by the looks on their faces the two snooty fillies knew it.

Twilight couldn’t keep herself from applauding either,

Disco: A side effect of Mary Sue Syndrome.

even though Nyx was still in SO much trouble. Twilight even heard a whistle come from her side, Celestia putting a hoof to her lips and offering a very loud, very supportive cheer whistle for Nyx.

Private Sprinkles: I’m having trouble imagining how you could whistle with a hoof.
Crazy56U: It’s really not that hard. I’d tell you how I know...but that petting zoo told me to never mention it again.

Even Luna was applauding, despite the fact Nyx had been portraying something that Luna probably only wished to forget.

[bUngulateman: Just like this story.
CTOONfan1: I wish we were allowed to forget.
Ungulateman: Forget what?
Anon13: Goldfish syndrome!

Did the two princesses really just believe Nyx was in costume? It was a saving grace Twilight would never have believed possible.

Anon13: PRAISE the Random Number God for sucky die rolls!

Nyx bowed just a few times before stepping back to stand with the others, the rest of the fillies and colts who had played parts in the play taking the stage

Ezn: back home with them

and bowing. Some of the colts and fillies then stepped forward again as they were given credit for the costumes and set construction. The final two ponies invited up were Lyra, a mint green unicorn who had composed the background music to the play, and, of course, Zecora, who had really kicked the play up to the next level with her eloquent narration.

Anon13: Granted, in this case it meant going from “atrocious” to “terrible”, but good effort!

Cheerilee was last to bow, since she was the one that took the stories and transcribed them for the kids to perform,

Disco: It’s all her fault! Get her!

and, with a final bow from the group,

Ezn: So Cheerilee actually wasn’t the last to bow! Stop lying to me, Pen Stroke! I thought we had something special!

the curtains closed, the performances of the Spring Festival taking an hour intermission

CTOONfan1: You mean it STILL isn’t over?
Ezn: They still have to do the rest of season one.
Lily: OH! The horror! The HORROR!

so ponies could stretch and get dinner if they wanted.

================

“Mommy!” Dinky Doo chirped

Ezn: Nyx wiped a solitary tear from her eye, and beamed with pride.

as she ran up to a gray coated and blond maned pegasus. “Did I do good?”

Disco: “No, you were terrible. No dessert for you.”

“You were wonderful Muffin.”

Vimbert: Am I the only one that thinks using one’s favorite thing to eat as a term of endearment is creepy?

Ditzy Doo replied, giving her little filly a noogie

Ungulateman: Ditzy doesn’t like her child.

and a hug. Twilight passed by the warm scene with Rarity,

Ezn: Good thinking, Twilight! Let’s roast some marshmallows!

Applejack, and Rainbow Dash as they moved backstage to where the students were getting out of their costumes.

Ezn: Twilight moaned in anticipation.

It didn’t take long for the quarter to find the fillies they were looking for.

Ezn: These aren’t the fillies you’re looking for.
DiStort: Talk about a determined 25 cents.

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Nyx drinking some water from paper cups.

Disco: Celestia spiked their drinks with roofies beforehand.
Ezn: And suddenly this was The Hangover.

Three of the fillies had already gotten out of most of their costumes, while Nyx was still completely in hers.

Ezn: Evil night demons were that evening’s kink.

“Darlings that was positively fabulous!”

Disco: “Just like Steven Magnet!”

Rarity chimed, alerting the four fillies

Svensvenderson: “When alerted, the fillies’ fight or flight response is activated.”
Hellioning: *insert Snake-being-spotted sound effect here*
to the group’s approach. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle all quickly turned and ran over,

Ezn: a dog that foolishly tried to cross the road

grinning ear to ear. Nyx, however hung back a bit, trying not to meet Twilight’s gaze.

“Really, was it good?”

“Positively pitch perfect.” Rarity assured.

Disco: “Like my fake accent!”

“Yea, big props,

Ezn: “I like plays with big props.”
Anon13: And I cannot lie/you other fillies can’t deny...

Scootaloo, you got me down pat.”

“ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.” Scootaloo rattled off,

Ezn: JUST LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN S01E16 “Sonic Rainboom”.
DiStort: Dash! You know Scootaloo is prone to seizures!

overwhelmed by the fact that she was getting such a compliment from her personal hero Rainbow Dash.

“How about me Big Sis?”

“It was like lookin’ in a mirror Sugarcube.” Applejack said, giving Apple Bloom a big smile.

CTOONfan1: So did Apple Bloom grow or Applejack shrink?
Ezn: “First one’s free.”

“Y’all did a great job, didn’t they Twilight?”

“Yes, they all did an amazing job.” Twilight agreed.

Ezn: It was much better than that one time when they tried to build a table in S01E17 “Staremaster”.
Isphone: They were building a table?

It was the first time since the unicorn arrived that Nyx chanced looking up, her currently undisguised dragon eyes meeting Twilight. In that silent moment Nyx was able to smile, seeing that Twilight wasn’t glaring at her with disappointment or anger.

Disco: Unlike the readers.

“Even me?” Nyx ventured.

“Shoot, of course Nyx.” Applejack reassured. “Especially that last Nightmare Moon laugh. Whoa nelly, sent a shiver down my spine.”

Ezn: “Nelly’s a kidder like that, with her shivers.”

“Wow, nice work on her eyes Twilight.” Dash said, the pegasus fluttering over and inspecting Nyx’s dragon eyes more closely. “I didn’t know you knew a spell for this.”

“I just learned it.”

Svensvenderson: "You know, because of all the reading I do. In the library. With the books. That I read."

Twilight lied, thankful Rainbow Dash had assumed it was a spell, which was going to be Twilight’s cover story anyway.

“That is so awesome. I got to try it.”

“Say what now?”

Ezn: What now.

“Come on Twi.” Dash said, landing and using a hoof to motion towards her eyes. “I want to see what I look like with dragon eyes.”

Twilight forced a smile, having not realized that she might actually be asked to perform the spell. Still, there was no going back now. She’d have to try, at least once, and if she failed

Ezn: she’d be sent back to Magic Kindergarten

then she could tell Dash she’d do it tomorrow. And then she’d hope that Dash would forget or that she could figure out the spell before then.

Disco: Assuming she didn’t fry Dash’s skull accidentally.

Still, maybe she could pull it off. It would just be an illusion spell, like the one she put on Nyx’s glasses... she’d just have to apply it straight to Dash’s eyes.

Vimbert: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE EYE
Crazy56U: Hmm... Unicorn horn... plus eyeballs... ...I don't see anything wrong there!

No biggie... okay, it was a biggie,

Disco: Twilight’s spells come in Short, Tall, Biggie, and Venti.

but Dash and the other

Vimbert: The Other was there. The Other was watching. Always.

were watching her expectantly so Twilight couldn’t do anything but try.

Svensvenderson: ...and fail hilariously.
Ezn: Do or do not. There is no “try”.

Closing her own eyes, the purple unicorn focused her magic as her horn glowed. She gritted her teeth, concentrating, and then she felt the flash

Ezn: SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE!

of the spell going off. For a moment the unicorn didn’t dare to look, fearing she had done something horrible to Dash.

Disco: She’d read enough fanfics to be worried.

But “awwws” of amazement from the other ponies around encourage Twilight to look, and to see Dash’s now very

Ezn: broken wings and exposed intestines.

dragon looking eyes. A strong pink center,

Disco: With a creamy chocolate filling,

with dagger shaped pupil and the whites of the pegasus’ eyes now a lighter pink.

“Whoa... this is so awesome!” Dash said, catching her reflection in a nearby wall mirror.

Ezn: “This spell lets me grab reflections!”

“I am, like, 20% cooler now at least.”

Anon13: Whoa, where’d that catchphrase come from? The show should use that!

“Well don’t get used to it. The illusion spell will wear off quickly.”

Disco: If your illusion lasts for more than four hours, consult a physician immediately.

“Still, I’m going to enjoy this while it lasts. After we’re done here we got to find Pinkie Pie. She is so going to freak out when she sees this.”

Anonymous: Careful. Pinkie is easily suprised and is known to have a hacksaw concealed in her mane.
Crazy56U: ...why DO they call it a hacksaw, anyway?
Anon13: They keep showing up in hack fics.

“Yea, I reckon all you little fillies have worked up quite the appetite with all this here acting. How about we catch up with Fluttershy and Pinkie and then all go get dinner together?”

“YEA!!!” The fillies cheered out in unison.

“Sounds good.” Twilight agreed, “Why don’t you go on ahead and find us a place to eat. I need to help Nyx out of her costume.”

CTOONfan1: If you hear screams of pain or cries for help, it's just a stuck zipper.

The others offered nods in agreement,

Ezn: for just $2.99.

heading off the stage and leaving Twilight and Nyx alone.

Disco: Nyx was never seen alive again.

When their friends were out of sight, Twilight turned her gaze down on Nyx, raising an eyebrow as she tapped a hoof expectantly.

Ezn: “Get that costume off and go directly to my bedchambers!”

“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?” The filly asked.

“Big time.”

Ezn: “but small space.”
DiStort: "You're getting a visit from mister naughty stick when we get home."

Twilight replied, but with a smile “But... you were right. It wasn’t fair of me to try and keep you from the play and you did an amazing job.”

“Really?”

Disco: Haha, no. The Abridged Series was better!

“Yes, really.” Twilight reassured as she nuzzled the filly. “Though, would you mind telling me why I can see your real wings and why you don’t have your glasses?”

“Well, when I was trying to get my costume on, I kind of... broke the costume wings. But, I’ve been keeping my wings up like this all night so nopony has been able to tell the difference.”

Vimbert: Because feathers look exactly like cardboard!

“And the glasses?”

“I... forgot them.”

Disco: “I’m cosplaying Velma, remember?”

“Well, if there was a night to forget your glasses this was it.” Twilight said with a chuckle. “Now, stay close to me. I’m going to have to teleport us back to the library real quick so you can get your glasses and vest. Then we’ll come back here so we can have fun and eat dinner with your friends.”

“Really? You aren’t going to make me stay at the library?”

CTOONfan1: No. That would be merciful to the readers.

“Kind of pointless now that the play is over.

Disco: “I don’t want another tick infestation.”

So, no, you can come back with me and have dinner with everypony.”

“YAY!!!”

“And then we’ll discuss your punishment in the morning.”

“Awww...”

Crazy56U: At least Pen Stroke decided to not use the "WAH WAH WAAAAAH" thing here.
Vimbert: SHH, YOU KNOW HE'S LISTENING

================

“But Daddy, how could they cheer louder for her? She was the bad mare, and I was Princess Celestia.”

DiStort: I think you just answered your own question, kid.
Ezn: “Nightmare Moon doesn’t turn ponies to stone, dear.”
Crazy56U: Easy, villains are cooler.
Isphone: And because Nyx's guardian can, and will, turn ponies into cacti.

“Diamond Tiara, please be quiet and eat your dinner.” The filly’s mother scolded. Diamond Tiara’s family and Silver Spoon’s family were seated together at one of Ponyville’s cafes, the restaurant a fair distance from the festivities of the Spring Festival so it wasn’t too crowded. The parents had been chatting lightly about the performance, but had since gone onto other topics despite Diamond Tiara’s continued desire to keep whining about what had happened.

Anon13: Mainly the parents’ unspoken agreement to sell the kid at the first opportunity.

The worst of it was Diamond Tiara hadn’t been able to escape Nyx either.

Ezn: I know that feel, DT.

Within ten minutes of her family’s arrival at the restaurant Nyx had arrived with a large group of ponies, and were now laughing and having fun at the far end of the restaurant.

Ezn: “She’s even got an entourage! Why can’t I have an entourage?”

“Oh, look Honey.”

Ezn: Mmm, honey...

Diamond Tiara’s mother whispered, drawing the father’s attention as well Diamond Tiara’s.

Ezn: DT’s mother was a master at Pictionary.

The whole restaurant in fact had turned their heads, watching as Celestia and Luna not only approached but then walked into the restaurant.

Anon13: “THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT WANTS ONE OF THESE ‘HAPPY MEALS’!”
Drizzel: Then she gets a sad meal and turns into nightmare moon.

“I wonder what brings them to this quaint little eatery. It’s not exactly what I would consider royal class.” Silver Spoon’s mother whispered.

“Well, isn’t it obvious?

Disco: “They’re here to banish us!”

They were so enamored by our daughters’ performances that they came looking for them.

Anonymous: Seriously? I mean... Seriously?
Crazy56U: (2X Facehoof Combo)
CTOONfan1: Make that 3X.

Now, everypony look your best.”

Ezn: “Silver Spoon, go hide in the bathroom.”

Diamond’s father assured, and soon the four adults and two fillies were doing just that, quickly primping and preparing themselves as the princesses began to walk in their direction. Still, despite Diamond Tiara’s wide grin, the princesses strolled right on by.

“Where are they going?” Diamond Tiara whispered harshly. “No, they aren’t... they are! They’re sitting with those losers!”

CTOONfan1: You mean her personal student and the bearers of the Elements of Harmony who've saved your ass multiple times? Yep. Losers.
Disco: “We’re saved!”

“Diamond Tiara, hush. It’s isn’t our place to judge who the princesses sit with.”

Ezn: “Not in public, anyway.”

“But it isn’t fair! I actually had to dress up and put on a real costume to look like Celestia. Nyx didn’t have to do anything but put on some fake wings to look like Nightmare Moon.”

Drizzel: I’m confused, are we supposed to care?

Diamond Tiara’s father opened his mouth to tell his daughter to be quiet, but as he did, he looked over his shoulder and got a glance of the foal in question. “She does look a great deal like Nightmare Moon, doesn’t she?”

Midnight: FORESHADOWING!

“Like, totally. She didn’t have to even dye her coat or mane or anything. Those are her natural colors. It isn’t even fair.”

Diamond Tiara’s father just kept staring, his azure eyes

DiStort: FORESHADOWING.
Crazy56U: Dun dun DUUUUUN!

flashing a bit before he turned back to the table. “Yes, the natural resemblance is uncanny.”

Disco: “To my fan art.”

================

“Well... that was a long night.” Twilight said, door opening to the library as she strode inside. Both Spike and Nyx were sleeping soundly sprawled across the unicorn’s back,

Disco: Spinyx = OTP.
Ezn: Sparkler was an au pair as well as a babysitter

a cute scene but one that wore Twilight out

Vimbert: Clop clop clop

since she had to carry them all the way back to the library. Owlowiscious offered a welcoming hoot, which Twilight returned

Ezn: for manufacturing defects.

with a nod as she carried Spike and Nyx up to the bedroom.

Spike was the first to get tucked into bed, the dragon mumbling something about Rarity and donuts as he turned over and snuggled into his blanket.

Disco: It’s one of those dreams.
Anon13: “If I hear ‘Who wants a spanking, you naughty filly?’ one more time you are SO out of here.”

Nyx was next, Twilight slipping the filly out of her vest and glasses before putting her under the covers.

Vimbert: Go for the smother!

With the two tucked away, Twilight turned to head down stairs, only to hear a small voice call out to her.

Private Sprinkles: If you build it, they will come...
Drizzel: They told me to burn things...

“Twilight?”

Disco: Think! You’ve got to think! Think Big!

“Oh, sorry Nyx. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Twilight apologized, turning back to see Nyx’s bright turquoise eyes staring at her in the dark.

“It’s okay. Thank you for letting me go to dinner with everypony.”

Disco: “Thank you for not turning me into a cactus.”

“Well, you’re welcome. Now, you should get some sleep. You’ve had a long day.” The unicorn replied, making sure Nyx was properly tucked into bed

Ezn: She quickly skimmed over her well-worn copy of Proper Bed-Tucking Practices

“Okay... but, Twilight?”

“Yes?”

Crazy56U: "Why did you take that poor sentence's period?" "Go to sleep, Nyx."

“You remember what happened in the forest...

Ezn: “What happens in the forest stays in the forest.”

that thing I remembered or dreamed about in the castle... how I wanted to hurt you?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Was... was that Nightmare Moon’s memory?”

Disco: Nah, just a rerun.

“What... what makes you ask that?” Twilight said, swallowing nervously.

“When I was on stage... when I was saying my last lines...

CTOONfan1: I realized how much better they were than our writing.

I remember that I heard those same words in that nasty memory. I then started saying them just like the nasty voice I heard did... like I had really said them before. Was... what I acted out in the play... was it really the same thing Nightmare Moon did?”

Vimbert: “No, the play written to be an exact recreation of Nightmare Moon’s return added lines.”

Twilight froze up a moment,

Ezn: This moment right here. She made it last forever.
Hellioning: Twilight Sparkle has suffered a fatal error...
Anonymous: Plot.exe has crashed. Please restart fanfic and try again.

debating how to answer the question.

Ezn: “I think I should use words. Words and sentences.”
Ungulateman: “Maybe even clauses!”

She had been striving to try and protect Nyx from the truth... but, after the long day, Twilight didn’t have the metal strength

Anon13: Being mere flesh rather than steel
Isphone: Rainbow Dash: I am the iron pony!
Crazy56U: Can she see, or is she blind?
Ungulateman: Nightmare Moon tried to kill the metal..she FAILED, and was thrown to the ground!

to try and contrive some new lie to shield Nyx. And Nyx was too smart for anything overly simple.

Svensvenderson: That's an interesting definition of 'smart'.

In the end, Twilight could only nod.

“Yes...”

Disco: Yes, except she was far less annoying.

“Twilight... is the reason... is the reason I remember that night... remember you... remember wanting to hurt you...is because I’m.... am... am I Nightmare Moon?”

Hellioning: Yes. Now, we tell Celestia and send her back to the moon!
Ungulateman: THE END. (Apologies to GelidEnmity)

“No.” Twilight said firmly but comfortingly. “You are not Nightmare Moon.”

Blahdeblah: "You just look exactly like her and have her memories. Total coincidence."

“But, what about...”

Twilight gently shushed Nyx, the mare sitting down beside the small bed as a small sigh escaped her lips.

Ezn: “I’M FREE AT LAST!”

“Nyx... I know you’re little, and you may not understand all of this...

Ezn: “Damnit, Twilight, I’m not an earth pony!”

but, I think you deserve to know the truth... or at least, what I think the truth is. You remember where I found you, in the Everfree Forest? How, at the time, you didn’t have any memories before then? How you didn’t even have a name?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I think that is because that was where you were born... or made... and that you only came into existence a few hours before I arrived. You weren’t even a pony until that first moment you woke up tangled in that bush.

CTOONfan1: You were originally a puppet named Pinnyxio.

“Is that how all little fillies are born?”

DisTort: “No, Nyx. That’s how freaks are born.”
Ungulateman: “Although that’s how most fillies are conceived...”

“No, most fillies come from a

Ezn: magic mirror
Ungulateman: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most Sueish of them all?

mother and a father, but you... I believe you were created by a spell.”

“A spell?”

Twilight nodded. “You see, there were some very mean,

Disco: Cross-dressing, bland,
CTOONfan1: Obnoxious, incompetent,
Vimbert: Stereotypical, fabulous,

evil ponies who were trying to bring Nightmare Moon back.”

“Why would they do that?” Nyx asked, sitting up in bed a bit.

Svensvenderson: ‘Cause they’re EEEEEVVIIILLLLL!
Anon13: And stupid. Like most of the characters in this fic.

“I don’t know, but that’s what they were trying to do. They even ponynapped me to use me as part of the spell. They also had pieces of Nightmare Moon, shreds of her magic and body that survived being purified by the Elements of Harmony.

“They were going to use all that to bring Nightmare Moon back, and they were actually able to start the spell. Nightmare Moon began to take form, started to have a new body... but then

Ezn: she got cold feet about the whole “eternal night” thing and decided to pursue other interests.

Celestia arrived and stopped the mean ponies. She interrupted the spell, rescued me, and her guards arrested all the mean, evil ponies involved.

“Then... where did I come from?”

Ungulateman: “I dunno. Internet?”
Disco: “I wish I knew, so I could send you back!”

“The thing about magic is that if you interrupt a spell you can’t really be sure what you’ll get.

Disco: Twilight is well-versed in fanfic cliches.
Ezn: “Although it’s usually transdimensional teleportation.”
midnight: “followed by exploding wings, mind swaps, gender bending and evil doubles.”

The spell that was bringing back Nightmare Moon wasn’t complete when it was interrupted, and... I think you’re the result.

Vimbert: Twilight’s logic. Step 1: spell to create Nightmare Moon.
Step 2: Interrupted, Nyx produced because of spell.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Nyx is not Nightmare Moon!
Anon13: Step 3 is something about underwear theft, I think...
Drizzel: Profit!

I found you right next to the same clearing where the spell was cast. The whole reason I was there was because the

Ezn: plot demanded it
Midnight: lots of things are demanded by plot...

mean ponies had taken my saddle bags and left them in that part of the Everfree Forest.”

“So... I am Nightmare Moon...”

“No; no, Nyx you are

Ezn: the demons.
Ungulateman: And then Nyx was a zombie.

not.”

DiStort: "Nightmare Moon was a halfway interesting character."

“But you said that I came from that spell!” Nyx snapped,

Ungulateman: her reptilian jaws now matching her extremely sharp eyes

starting to tear up. “And you said that spell was supposed to bring back Nightmare Moon. If that spell made me, then I must be Nightmare Moon!”

Ezn: “Well, when you put it like that... uh, Celestia wants to know if you want an aisle or window seat on your ride to the moon.”

Before Nyx could break down further

Disco: She couldn’t handle those sudden bursts of logic.

Twilight brought her head close, nuzzling the filly’s neck.

Ezn: “I know! I’ll turn you into a vampire! Nightmare Moon’s not a vampire!”

Nyx responded by hooking her little front legs around the unicorn’s neck, hugging her tightly.

“Nyx, you are not Nightmare Moon.” Twilight assured, being both comforting and firm.

Crazy56U: “Stop using logic, you crazy filly.”
Anon13: Stop using what?
Disco: Never heard of it.

“But...”

“You do look like her, and... and you do seem to have some of her memories... but Nyx, you are not Nightmare Moon. What you are is a perfectly normal, wonderful little filly.” Twilight reassured.

DiStort: "Y'know, aside from the eyes, wings, horn, whiny attitude..."
Anon13: dark miasma, horrific destiny, blatant Mary-Sue-ness...
Private Sprinkles: Don't forget Nightmare Moon's memories.
Crazy56U: And that tick problem that you apparently have.
CTOONfan1: Not to mention she keeps making chirping noises.

“A sweet little filly who has four really great friends.

Disco: And several more enemies.

Who likes going to school

Ezn: That’s Nightmare Moon, alright. Pure eviiiil.

and was willing to get in big trouble with me just so you didn’t let your classmates down at the play.

“Nightmare Moon wouldn’t do any of that; she wouldn’t even have friends. Nightmare Moon was a bitter, vengeance driven mare who was willing to doom Equestria to eternal night just because ponies didn’t stay up at night to look at the stars.

“And that isn’t you. You aren’t the same pony. You are not Nightmare Moon, and you will never be her.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Disco: “Pinkie Pie Promise?”

Nyx smiled, but it wasn’t a very strong smile...

CTOONfan1: Her cheeks need to lift more weights.

something was still troubling the filly, and Twilight took notice.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Does that mean we’re not really cousins?”

DiStort: Wow. There are no words to describe the levels of stupid Nyx is radiating here.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile and try to suppress a chuckle at this.

Disco: The readers couldn’t help but facehoof and groan.

“Nyx, you silly filly, you knew from the beginning that we weren’t really cousins. It’s just a story I made up so that I wouldn’t have to tell other ponies you came out of thin air in the Everfree Forest.”

“But you said I probably did have family someplace, and that they’d eventually come looking for me. That I could live with you until my mom and dad came to get me. Is that still true?”

Ezn: “Yeah, we’ll go to meet your Uncle Spell Nexus in the morning.”

“Well....... No, Nyx... that isn’t true.” Twilight said, pulling her head away from the filly’s embrace. “I’m sorry I lied to you, but... I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Still... no, what I said isn’t true. You were created by a spell, so you don’t have parents like normal ponies. And, because you don’t have parents, you don’t have any normal blood relatives like uncles, brothers, aunts, sisters, or grandparents.”

Disco: Way to traumatize, Twi.

Twilight soon cursed herself

Ezn: But there’s no such thing as curses!
Crazy56U: STOP USING LOGIC!
Ungulateman: We started?

as she realized she had explained a little too much. The small smile Nyx had from being told she was not Nightmare Moon was now long dead, a frown on the filly’s face as she tried to keep herself from crying. The unicorn had to think fast,

Ezn: as a ball was coming right for her!

she didn’t want Nyx to have to go to sleep with the knowledge she was born from a spell in the forest AND that she had no real family. That was just too much to ask of the little filly.

“But,” Twilight added, “Just because you aren’t related to anypony by blood doesn’t mean you don’t have a family.”

“It doesn’t?”

Ezn: “No, that’s exactly what it means. I guess you don’t get your brains from either of your parents.”

“No. You have all the family you could want right there in Ponyville.” Twilight reassured. “Family is more than just the ponies you’re related to. Family can also be your friends and the ponies who care about you. After all, don’t you have four really great friends?”

“I do.”

“And not just them, there are plenty of others who care about you. I mean, just look at Owlowiscious and Spike. They’re practically your brothers.”

“But Owlowiscious is an owl and Spike is a dragon; how can they be my brothers?”

DiStort: Alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
Disco: I smell a spin-off fanfic.

“Owlowiscious keeps an eye on you when I can’t and he brings you those little flowers and other presents once in a while.

Ezn: As we’ve seen in the story so far.

He’s also helped you with your homework when I don’t have the time and, like some big brothers, he’s gotten himself in trouble

Anon13: with the cops while drunk

to make you happy by letting you go to the play.

“And Spike, well... he’s your crazy older brother.

Disco: “Unlike me, the embodiment of sanity.”
Hellioning: "Hey, Nyx, want my Smarty Pants doll? :D"
Vimbert: “So believe me when I say that you are definitely not Nightmare Moon, in spite of a mountain of evidence stating otherwise!”

He picks on you sometimes, and gives you a hard time, but he’s never really mean and you two always laugh about his pranks after they’re done.

Ezn: As we’ve seen in the story so far.

He’s also helped look after you, and both him and Owlowiscious would be among the first to jump up and help you

Disco: And die senselessly

if you were ever in trouble.

“So, even though Owlowiscious is an owl and Spike is a dragon, they both treat you like their little sister. They take care of you, and would rather seem themselves get hurt

CTOONfan1: Not really get hurt. Just seem that way.

before seeing you get put in any danger.”

“So... if Owlowiscious and Spike are like my older brothers... what does that make you?”

Anon13: Really, really dumb!

Twilight felt the air catch in her lungs at this, looking down at the little filly. What was she to Nyx? What was Nyx to her?

CTOONfan1: A plot device comes to mind.

She could easily say she was just an older sister, like Owlowiscious and Spike were brothers, but... that didn’t feel right.

Applejack was an older sister to Apple Bloom, and while Applejack had to take some responsibility raising the little filly they still had a sisterly relationship. Apple Bloom teased and tormented Applejack from time to time, and the orange farm filly did the same to her little sister once in a while.

But... that wasn’t the kind of relationship she had with Nyx.

Ezn: Well, considering AJ and AB are from the South, it could be.
Ungulateman: Applejack IS Texas!

Twilight began to think of all the things she had done for Nyx since the little filly’s arrival. She had sent her to school, read bedtime stories to her, made her meals from time to time. She helped Nyx catch up to the rest of her class, held sleepovers for her and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Most of all, Twilight thought of the day Nyx got lost in the Everfree Forest because of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Twilight had never been so furious.

Svensvenderson: Or the readers so joyous.

She was really on the verge of turning that spoiled little filly into a cactus, and then her father came by the library wanting an apology. Oh, Twilight could have strangled him right there. Just wrung his pompous neck.

And yes, one could argue that was anything a big sister would do. Applejack would have probably beaten the tar out of that father stallion for trying to defend what his daughter had done. But... sister just didn’t seem to fit. Twilight... Twilight felt Nyx was more to her than a sister.

Hellioning: Woah, woah, Twilight, at least wait until she can consent!

Nyx depended on her, if it weren’t for Twilight she arguably wouldn’t even still be alive.

Ezn: Nice going, Twi!

She could have easily died in that bush in the Everfree Forest.

Disco: But we couldn’t get off that easily.

No... Twilight was no older sister to Nyx... but she was something else.

Disco: A control freak?
Vimbert: An enabler?

“Well... Nyx... if I was really honest... I’d say...” Twilight had to swallow, the words getting caught on the knot in her throat. “That... I’m like... well... your mother.”

Ezn: “Nyx, I am your mother.”
Dark Pinkie:Nyx: NOOOOOOOOOO!

There was a moment of silence, Twilight watching Nyx to see the filly’s reaction. It shifted through a number of expressions in this order. First shock, then disbelief,

Disco:That’s not true! That’s impossible!
Crazy56U: Search the author's notes, you know it to be true!

and finally a big, wide smile.

CTOONfan1: She searched her feelings and knew it to be true.

“Really? You’d want to be my mom?”

DiStort: "Wow, Twilight! I had no idea you had such low standards."

“I’d love to be your mother... if you’d let me?”

Ungulateman: “Hell no, bitch.”
Vimbert: In Twilight’s world, all foals get to choose their parents.

Twilight replied, leaning her head in close so she was eye to eye with Nyx.

Ungulateman: She was then blinded by Nyx’s daggers.

Nyx’s answer was not in word but in gesture, the filly sitting up in her bed.

Vimbert: Truly, a dramatic answer that shows us that sometimes language cannot convey all.

Before Twilight knew it, she was once again being hugged by the filly, Nyx nuzzling the side of the unicorn’s head while her front legs hooked around Twilight’s neck.

Disco: Look out, Twi! She’s trying to kill you!

“Of course you can be my mom! You’re the best mom ever.”

“Oh... oh Nyx.”

Disco: “Can’t...breathe...”

Twilight whispered, eyes starting to tear up

CTOONfan1: as she realized what she just did.

even though she was smiling ear to ear. The pair sat in the moment for a time, Twilight nuzzling Nyx while the filly continued to hug her neck.

“Twilight?” Nyx asked a few minutes later, still holding tightly to the unicorns neck.

“Yes Nyx?”

Disco: “You’re turning blue.”

“Thank you... for everything.

Disco: “For lying to and traumatizing me.”

I love you.”

“I... I love you too Nyx.”

Vimbert: “When you establish a new world order, make me Head Inquisitor.”

Twilight replied, tears starting to roll down her cheek. The unicorn very gently pulled herself away, quickly rubbing the tears off her face with her fore legs before using her magic to tuck Nyx back into bed. “Now it’s time to go to sleep. It’s late and you’ve had a long day.”

CTOONfan1: I think time goes slower for Twilight or something.

“Okay.” The filly alicorn replied, yawning as she snuggled into her bed.

Ezn: Princess Cadence? How’d you get in here?

Twilight offered a gentle smile, and, thinking of her own mother, the unicorn bent forward and gave Nyx the gentlest kiss on the forehead.

Disco: The kiss of death?
Vimbert: We wish.

This seem to be the final trick, Nyx drifting off to sleep.

Stepping back from the bed on the tips of her hooves, Twilight began moving towards the door. It wasn’t what the unicorn expected, being called mom for the first time. She had always thought she’d want a filly of her own some day... it just never occurred to Twilight that Nyx could really be that filly.

Ezn: “Damnit! I have a filly and I’m still a virgin!”

And she’d have to convince Nyx to keep calling her cousin around Ponyville,

Ezn: Twilight’s cousin’s real name wasn’t something that little fillies should say.
Ungulateman: Bella Swan?

since that was how every pony else thought they were related.

Still, Twilight realized that she had really been acting like Nyx’s mom for a long time, considering how she had been taking care of the filly. Reading her to bed at night and making sure she went to school. Running out to find her when she got lost and being on the verge of turning Diamond Tiara into a cactus for the bully filly’s cruel prank.

Ezn: In case you had forgotten.
Anon13: Goldfish rule, Ezn.
Drizzel: Where am I? Who are you people!?

Yeah... she’d been acting like it, but it was a whole other bucket of hay

Svensvenderson: Hay comes in buckets?
RingmasterJ5: Of course, how else would they feed the lowly worker earth ponies?

actually being called mom. Still, Twilight would think about that in a minute. First she needed to go have a world with Owlowiscious

Disco: A Whole New World?
Crazy56U: A dazzling place I never knew?
Blahdeblah: Where everyone tells the author "no", and Nyx where to go, and says we've only been dreaming this fic.

about why the owl had let Nyx sneak out to the play. Yet, just before Twilight could reach the door, a voice whispered to her.

Ezn: “Open the door. Get on the floor. Everypony walk the dinosaur.”

“Hey, why am I just ‘the older brother’? Can’t I be her uncle or something?”

The unicorn turned, smiling gently as she saw Spike was sitting up in his bed, hands on his hips as he eyed Twilight from across the room.

Ezn: “You really need to learn to smile with other adverbs, Twi.”

“Spike, I was the the one who hatched you and raised you before you could talk and look after yourself. And technically speaking, you’re still a baby dragon. So, if anything, I’m sort of a mother to you too.”

Ezn: And suddenly this fic became A Day for Spike and Twilight.

“Pfft. Whatever, I still say I’d make a better uncle. Especially if you let me have back that awesome mustache. No uncle is complete without a mustache.”

“Sorry Spike, but no mustache.

Disco:How about a goatee?

Now you should get some sleep.”

“Yeah yeah, I heard you the first time ‘Mom’.” Spike scoffed before he laid back down and threw the blanket back over himself, snuggling into his bed. The baby dragon was back to sleep almost instantly, making Twilight giggle quietly before she crept out of the bedroom and began heading down stairs.

“Owlowiscious, can I have a word with you?”

Ezn: Only one.
Anon13: Bleeped.

“Hoo hoo.”

“Uh-oh is right, Mister.”

CTOONfan1: Twilight speaks owl now, apparently.

Twilight firmly assured, needing have a word with the owl of why he let Nyx leave despite her direct orders.

Disco: And they had fried owl for breakfast the next morning.

=====================================================================

Anonymous: I think you know the answer at this point.
Crazy56U: Yep, 42.

Disco: Mostly barrel rolling.
Crazy56U: Yes... if you call driving into the wall "careful maneuvering".
Vimbert:

Crazy56U: Um... I don't mean to judge but... who had the bright idea of giving Derpy a driving license?
Anon13: Who says she has one?

Dear Revered Brother

Disco: Epic Failure

Nexus -High Prophet

Anonymous: Low standards.
Ezn: Nexus always got higher on the swingset than the other prophets.

of The True Queen

DiStort: Did you get that thing I sent ya?

I write in regards to the assignment you gave me several weeks past.

Ezn: TAR-DEE!

As chosen Prophet of Ponyville I received your orders that we were to search the Everfree Forest for our queen,

Ezn: I am telling you this just in case anyone else reads this letter. We wouldn’t want them to get confused.

that she may have survived the sun tyrant’s interference in our resurrection spell.

And, as I reported to you just last week, our searches of the forest have proved fruitless.

Disco: We’re unbelievably inept.
Vimbert: We trained our cultists wrong, as a joke!

Those amongst us that are unicorns have not been able to find traces of our queen’s magic anywhere in the forest. Even the traces that once remained at the ancient castle have now dissipated.

Yet, this past evening, I believe I have spotted our queen, or at least one who bears a striking resemblance to her.

Crazy56U: Oh boy, they found a cosplayer.

A filly, who is currently in the care of Twilight Sparkle. Yes, the same Twilight Sparkle to which we are all so familiar.

DiStort: In so many dirty, dirty ways.
Anon13: Not that kind of fic!

I first saw her in an elementary school play, and then once again later in the evening when she shared a meal with Twilight Sparkle

Ezn: Her doppleganger spell is most impressive.

as well as Celestia and Luna.

Anonymous: and an abacus.
Disco: As suspected, the abacus was the life of the party.
Drizzel: I’ve never seen an abacus drink so much.

Upon speaking with my own daughter, who shared a class with the filly for a number of months, I’ve come to discover the filly was admitted as a new student to Ponyville Elementary around the same time our spell was cast, near the beginning of spring.

Vimbert: Just in case you forgot that detail, readers. Do I need to summarize Chapter 1? Are you confused at all?

I have been unable to ascertain any further information, due to an altercation I had previously with Twilight Sparkle which has put us at odds.

Disco: I now have a cactus phobia.

That and my daughter, who might have proved useful in this matter, has

Vimbert: Disappointed me, as usual.

made herself just as unwelcome around the Ponyville Library.

I request your guidance in this matter in how you wish for me to proceed, and patiently await your reply.

For the Night Eternal
For Equestria’s True Queen

Anonymous: FOR FAUST!

Honored Brother Regal Cut - Prophet of Ponyville.

The scroll, which had been hoof delivered to the manor, lay across the desk in

Ezn: a seductive pose.

Spell Nexus’s study. The dark blue unicorn was standing near one of his windows, horn glowing as he held a glass of fine orange juice.

Disco: It was a Tequila Sunrise in the uncut version.

He gently swished the glass, the contents dancing under the gentle motions as his turquoise eyes focused on the moon,

Ezn: in a gentle fashion
Drizzel: … Gentle.

which was a beautiful crescent shape in the sky.

“A filly...” Nexus whispered to himself before sipping from the glass. “A filly who attends school, who lives with Twilight Sparkle, who was seen in the presence of Princess Celestia no less. Who participated in a school play, of all things. A filly...

DiStort: "Lucky bitch..."

it is not what I would have expected.

“What are your plans, what are your schemes?”

Ryo: What are your strategies? How 'bout your guides. Leads? What's the big picture? Your procedures? Suggestion? Intention? Orders? Tactics? Scenarios? System-

Alright, I'll put down the thesaurus.
Anon13: Give it to Pen if it has alternatives to ‘offered’!
Disco: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
Crazy56U: I think so, Disco. But why would Charlie Brown agree to kidnap the mayor of Retroville?
Ezn: I have a cunning plan.
Anon13: EF, you wouldn't see a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "Cunning plans are here again!"

Nexus asked, as if posing his questions to the moon itself. “Do you act to keep your enemies close? Do you seek to find a weakness to exploit? Do you bide your time until you can overcome the Elements of Harmony and the ponies who wield them?”

Casca: Does GEICO save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance?
Drizzel: Do you believe it’s not butter?
Disco: Do you ramble on in pointless monologues?

Nexus drank from the orange juice again, draining every drop. The glow about his horn grew just a bit brighter as the unicorn took hold of a large elegant pitcher on the nearby table.

Disco:He’s going to have such a hangover tomorrow.
Crazy56U: Last time he drank this much, he wandered into the Everfree Forest wearing a lampshade and screaming the lyrics to Margatriaville. It was a fun birthday for him.

From the pitcher he refilled his cup with the fruit juice,

Svensvenderson: Fruit juice. Right.
RingmasterJ5: Well, wine is technically fruit juice.

giving it a gentle swirl before setting the pitcher back down and turning from the window.

CTOONfan1: "I'm too good for you."

“Perhaps you are merely waiting for us, your children, to discover you. To prove ourselves capable

Anon13: Don’t hold your breath.

and deserving of your grace.” Nexus mused, crossing the room. “Though... I assume much taking Regal Cut at his word. This filly may resemble Nightmare Moon, but a resemblance is not enough.

CTOONfan1: For instance, I resemble someone with brains.

No doppelganger will do.”

“In any case, this warrants further investigation.” Nexus surmised as he neared his reading table.

Ezn: “Go away,” said the table. “I’m busy reading!”

In the bookshelves on the nearby wall a book floated out from the shelves, gripped by Nexus’s levitation magic. Yet, the book the unicorn sought was tucked behind the other, a small black book which floated across the room and set itself upon the writing desk while the other book was slipped back onto the shelf.

Disco: The Complete Works of Horizontal Surface.

Nexus turned open the book, seeing in it names etched out in his own hoof-writing. The only true record of Children of Nightmare, the only record of all the ponies who had sworn strength, magic, and life to the return of Equestria’s true queen. It was his duty alone to guard such precious information, for if such a list were to be found by Celestia... all hope would be lost.

Svensvenderson: He then immediately loses it.
Ezn: Stonewall standing just behind him, beaming with pride and wiping a solitary tear from his eye.

The unicorn’s turquoise eyes read across the names and the notes accompanying them.

Ezn: “Ooooo, Night Wind has a crush on Indigo Chalice!”

He would need agents, ponies that could travel to the small town of Ponyville and verify Regal Cut’s reports. Ones he trusted, ones like Gray Gale, Night Wind, and Stonewall

Vimbert: He trusts Stonewall? No wonder he can’t rise above Harmless Ineffectual Villain.

who had proven their loyalty to Nightmare Moon.

CTOONfan1: They haven't proven their competence, though.
Anon13: They’re in if they grade on a curve.

Ponies who were not just honored brothers and sisters, but ponies among the Exalted. Those who were just below him in the order. Him, the one and only Revered brother of the Children of Nightmare.

Blahdeblah: I didn't realize Him was in on this operation. That explains the crossdressing.
DiStort: He's the only one who gets to use the executive bathroom.

Other books began to make their way off the shelves,

Ezn: two by two, preserving the world’s knowledge against the upcoming flood.

cradled by levitation magic as Nexus began checking information. Every move made by the Children of Nightmare had to be planned with such care, for his opponent in the high-stakes game of chess was none other than Celestia herself. A mare with a thousand years of rule and wisdom behind her, who had stumbled across less thoroughly thought outplans

Disco: That was a plan?

during the cult’s infancy.

He’d have to spread his agents like a fine powder, sprinkle them amongst ponies that the filly would be brought to interact with.

DiStort: Good thing he got his new grinder in the mail that day.
Anon13: Whoa, Fargo flashback...

Ones to simply watch her,

Yarrik: This is starting to sound kind of creepy.
Svensvenderson: I think we passed creepy at least two chapters ago.

others to try and examine her more closely, and others still to simply ensure all went smoothly.

Vimbert: Silk sheets were prepared.

“Sir?”

Nexus looked up from his work, Proper Etiquette having poked his nose in the study doorway.

“Yes?”

“There is another letter for you sir.” Etiquette replied,

Ezn: “It’s from a giiiiirl!”

holding up said scroll with his hoof. It was bound shut with a purple ribbon and a silver, crescent moon metal seal.

“Thank you Etiquette.” Nexus replied, taking the letter with his magic.

“Will you be needing anything else Sir?”

Ezn: “No, I’m good, and so is Spell Nexus.”

“No, not at the moment.”

“Very good Sir.”

Ezn: “Good Sir! Good Sir! Does Sir want a gentlecolt treat?”

With that the butler pony removed himself from the room.

Ezn: It was a slow and painful process.

Nexus carefully set down the many books he had been levitating, leaving them propped open on the floor so he could return to his place once the letter was written. A purple ribbon with silver seal: it was a sign of a letter from a brother and sister, and the full moon on the seal indicated it was of the up most importance.

Dear Revered Brother

Disco: Epic Failure

Nexus - High Prophet of The True Queen

Private Sprinkles: Are you interested in a horn enlargement program?
Crazy56U: "Hello, I am an Appleloosian prince who wants to give you his fortune..."

This is a written report

Ezn: I was too busy laughing to make an audio one.

on the comings and goings of the unicorns assigned by Celestia to study and understand the nature of the resurrection spell we attempted to cast in the forest.

I realize this report comes fairly quickly after my last, and that you did not expect another from me for another several days. There has been, however, a few developments I believe you would want to know about without delay.

Disco: There’s a sale on hoof polish this weekend!
Vimbert: ‘Cuz she’s an emo pony, nonconforming as can be. You’d be nonconforming too if you looked just like she...

Firstly, with the research team moved to the royal archives, their endeavours in understanding our spell are starting to make steady headway. They are beginning to decipher the arcane lines we used

Ezn: I fear Stonewall’s messy mouth-writing was not enough of an obstacle to their discovery of our dramatic performance of your fanfiction, sir.

to augment and focus the magic in the Everfree Forest clearing.

Vimbert: For some reason, they seem to think we have no idea what we’re doing.

While I will act, as I have, to try and stall their efforts,
Vimbert: Fun fact: the deleted scene of Night Wind comically tripping researchers and spilling ink on important documents is available in the Special Edition!

I can, at this point, only slow their progress. They will, in time, decipher the spell.

DiStort: In retrospect, it was a really bad idea to hide the details in a crossword puzzle.

Secondly, Celestia came to the to the research team this morning to check on the progress. They reported to her exactly as I have reported to you, that their progress has now become steady and dependable now that they have been granted access to

Ezn:Rainbow Dash’s pet tortoise.

some of the oldest books in Equestria.

Bastion Yorsets

Disco: Who is that again? I can’t remember without the wiki links.
DiStort: No link?! But what if I forgot what he looked like?
Crazy56U: Meh, the link was broken anyway.

and Celestia then began to chat casually, the princess talking about the Spring Festival she attended yesterday evening with her sister in Ponyville. She spoke highly of many of the performances, offering particular praise for a play put on by the town’s elementary school.

Ezn: I told you we should have gone, but you just had to watch Swan Lake again.

She then, at this point,

Ezn:on the complex plane

divulged to Bastion Yorsets that her

Ezn:sled’s name was Rosebud

student, Twilight Sparkle, was now taking care of a young filly by the name of Nyx. The only description she offered was that the filly was a black coated unicorn, and that the filly was a half-cousin

Vimbert: Gain a hyphen, lose a period. We just can’t win, folks.

I would have dismissed this as idle chatter if Bastion Yorsets hadn’t made a very interesting comment.

Ezn: I Digged and Stumbled Upon it!

He divulged that he had grown up knowing Twilight’s father,

Disco: Before he was tragically turned into a cactus,

and had been the one to invite Twilight to take the entrance exam for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

In his comments, Bastion admitted it was strange that Twilight had called Nyx a half cousin. He revealed that while Twilight’s father has siblings, her mother is an only child. He further pointed out that Twilight’s father and his siblings all share the same two parents, making it impossible for the unicorn to have any half cousins.

Celestia simply offered that Twilight must have misspoken when introducing Nyx

Ezn: The Princess is a little too sophisticated to be offering such trinkets as gentle smiles and hoots, after all.

or that she had a misunderstanding of what a half cousin was.

DiStort: She probably thought a half-cousin was a combination of cousin and half-wit.

Bastion accepted this answer, and soon their meeting was over.

Again, I would have believed this as nothing but idle chatter if not later that day in the barracks I overheard Celestia’s private guards talking. The two pegasi were discussing the princess’ day, and after ease dropping for a time I discovered that the princess made an unscheduled stop on her daily routine. She went to the Equestria Central Records Office during what was supposed to be her lunch hour for the day, and requested that family records pertaining to Twilight Sparkle and her parents be delivered to her royal chambers this evening.

Disco: Celestia’s obsession just reached a new low.
Ezn: She made the same request the next night, just without the “family records pertaining to” bit.

I was unable to discover more, since my shift had ended and I

Ezn: got all depressed about not being a pretty filly anymore

dare not risk lingering around the castle after work.

DiStort: It's when Celestia starts getting her weird urges. I pity the nighttime help.

That is all I have to report at this time. I will continue my observation of the research team and will alert you if I discover anything pressing.

I will submit my next regular report

Ezn: when and if I learn something new about friendship

at the scheduled time.

For the Night Eternal
For Equestria’s True Queen
Exalted Sister Night Wind

Nexus licked his lips, his mouth having gone dry.

Disco: He’s had a lot to drink.

The situation had become much more perilous.

Ezn: Penelope Pitstop was tied to the traintracks!

Celestia’s gaze was now turned upon the same black coated filly, her interest spurred by the blabber mouth Bastion Yorsets. He would have to have been a childhood friend of Twilight’s father.

Hellioning: Of course he had to. Don't you know anything about plot?
Vimbert: This has that?

Taking up the orange juice glass, Nexus swigged it in a few swift gulps before shaking his head, the perfectly chilled juice giving the unicorn a momentary brain freeze.

DiStort: Must be a pretty big lightweight to get brain freeze from orange juice.
Disco: He must have been smashed when he planned the resurrection.

There was now a need for both subtly and some haste, to ascertain who the filly truly was before Celestia could act in a way to make such investigation impossible.

The books that had been left on the floor moved back into the air, carried by Nexus’ magic as he drew out a feather pen and several pieces of parchment.

Vimbert: He enjoyed creating modern art in his free time.

Feverishly he began to work, his eyes moving between the little black record book of the Children of Nightmare and to the many other tombs that now encircled the unicorn.

Ezn: “Life... is pain.”

He would get no sleep that night, as in more ways than one Nexus was racing the sun and its master.

Disco: He’d wake up the next day, with bloodshot eyes and a drool-drenched cheek.

========

Twilight yawned,

CTOONfan1: This story's even boring the characters.

making no effort to control or stifle it as she walked down the path to Ponyville Elementary. The sun was still rising from the horizon, the sunrise’s tapestry of colors just starting to fade to the constant blue of midday. Normally, it would have taken an important research trip to make Twilight get out of bed this early. That was, however, before Nyx came into her life.

DiStort: She had to make sure to sterilize everything Nyx had touched from the day before.
Disco: That’s it! The ticks die today!

So, it was not an expedition to some a far off archaeological sight

Disco: As opposed to a near-sighted one.

or a rare celestial event that drew Twilight from her warm bed covers. Though, to a certain little black filly, it was nearly as important.

A few days after the Spring Festival, Cheerilee announced that she wanted to try something new for the school. A Saturday where students would set up educational exhibits and the school would host food and games. Something Cheerilee was playful calling the “Learn and Play Day”. It was an event that had quickly grown, Ponyville’s schools for older colts and fillies getting in on the event as well.

And, due to the fact that the event had grown so quickly, Cheerilee had called on Twilight, Ponyville’s number one

Ezn: Pest Control Service operator

organizer, to help get everything in order. The purple unicorn had been working alongside the teacher for the past two weeks to organize the event while the students had been researching and building their educational exhibits.

DiStort: "So how many potato batteries do you think we'll end up with?"
Anonymous: 39, a tree, and a ruined enrichment center.

It had turned into quite a bit of work, but... Twilight had

Ezn: been glad that she’d got Sparkler to fill in for her

accepted it. Nyx had been so excited about the event the moment she heard about it that Twilight wanted to be sure it went off well.

Approaching the schoolhouse, Twilight walked around the brightly painted building and to the open field behind it. There, Cheerilee was working with a few other volunteers to get everything set up.

“Good Morning everypony.” Twilight offered, trying to put on a smile only to

Ezn: curse the Korean sweatshop workers as it fell apart

yawn another time.

“Not much for mornings, Twilight?” Cheerilee asked as she walked over to meet the unicorn.

“Not usually, no.”

Disco: “What’s the sun doing in that part of the sky?”
Kurisu Fuyuumi: Trollestia strikes again?

“Well, thank you for offering

Ezn: “No worries, I do it ALL THE TIME.”

to come out and give everything one final check over before the big day. Everypony seems so excited! This little weekend may turn into a new Ponyville tradition if it goes off right.”

Ezn: “If it goes off wrong... well, there’s always Hoofington.”

“Well, let’s get through today first before we start planning for next year.” Twilight said, her saddle bags opening at the beckon call of the unicorn’s magic,

Ezn: Fact: unicorn magic has a very persuasive voice.

a checklist and pencil floating into the air and in front of Twilight.

“Now, let’s see. Are the exhibit tables set up?”

Cheerilee nodded, pointing a hoof to the area direction behind the school.

Ezn: breaking several laws of physics and geometry as she did so.

Several circular tables had been borrowed and rented from a number of ponies around Ponyville and covered in white tablecloths to form a veritable sea of tables.

Ezn: Little chair boats sailed across them, buffeted by the strong table-ocean wind.

Each table had two little signs on it with numbers.

“Thirty round tables with tablecloths with sixty numbered exhibit signs on yellow paper.”

Disco: Somewhere, Applejack gripped her head in agony.
Vimbert: Twilight was impressed an inferior earth pony could count that high.

“Perfect.” Twilight replied, making a check on her list, starting to look around the area the pair were standing in. “What about food?

Ezn: “We’re gonna eat that close bracket I swiped off the end of my dialogue!”
Private Sprinkles: We have a wondrous selection of the flesh of your enemies.
Crazy56U: You're penning a Cupcakes sequel while you riff, aren't you?

“We’re just about to finish setting up the tables for our little food court. Big Macintosh has brought in a food cart from Sweet Apple Acres. That just leaves Danver and the Cakes

simonAJ: "Danver and the Cakes" is my Beatles cover band.

who need to arrive and set up their food stalls.”

“Danver?”

“His family owns and runs the carrot farm next to Sweet Apple Acres.”

Ezn: Elsewhere, Carrot Top sighed deeply.

“Oh.” Twilight said, lifting a hoof to giggle. “Let me guess: Danver is a type of carrot.”

“You’d be guessing right.” Cheerile replied with a chuckle of her own.

Disco: Danver is easier to type than Chantenay or Imperator.
Vimbert: OH GOD SOMETHING SOMEONE MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD OF LINK NOW

“Still, I’d say the food and eating area are all taken care of.” Twilight said, checking off the next item on the list. “That just leaves the afternoon activities. Still, I doubt we’ll be able to check that one off just yet.”

“Why do you say that?”

CTOONfan1: "We need some sort of problem to keep the story going."

“Well, we put Rainbow Dash in charge of that. She’s reliable, but she kind of likes to procrastinate a little. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was still back at home snoozing away the morning.”

“Boo!”

Twilight quickly turned her head to the side, a little startled by the sudden third voice in the conversation. It was only then that she took notice of the sky blue pegasus that was hovering in the air near her head. Cheerilee had to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing as Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight with a smug grin.

“Back at home snoozing, huh?”

“Heh heh...” Twilight said, forcing a smile. “Rainbow Dash, I... didn’t expect you to be here this early.”

The pegasus just chuckled, landing next to Twilight and folding her wings.

“Relax Twi; on any normal day I would still be asleep.

Disco: “But Scootaloo wouldn’t shut up.”

But this is just going to be too awesome!

Anon13: Damn that pony has low standards.
Anonymous: At this point I think they all do.
Svensvenderson: We're still reading this. What does that say about us?
Vimbert: Nothing good.

I just had to get up early, not only to clear the skies but to make sure all my awesome sporting events were ready.”

“What all do you have planned?” Cheerilee asked.

“Oh, tons of stuff. I actually went and checked out a book with a whole bunch of killer ideas.”

Disco: They were all tagged (Grimdark).
Anonymous: Except one that had "as FUCK" following.

“It was one of the few times she came into the library without crashing.” Twilight offered, though Rainbow Dash ignored the unicorn

Ezn: “I’m not wasting any more money on your junk, Twilight!”

and kept going.

“We’ve got something for everypony. Got things for just the kids to do, things for kids to do with their parents, and things for the parents to do so the kids can cheer them on. We’ve got games for pegasi, for earth ponies, for unicorns and games where you get to mix it up.

Svensvenderson: Uni ponies? Earthsi? Pegacorns?
Ezn: “Well, at least that’s how our games guy, uh, ‘Discord’ put it... He was cheap.”

It is all just going to be so awesome!”

“Wow, that sounds like a lot.”

Disco: Of nonsense.

“Like a lot of fun, you mean.” Rainbow Dash said, lifting a hoof to a chest and gently brushing it against her. “Yea, I pretty much outdid myself.”

“And, since we got so many ponies to volunteer their time and things for free.”

DiStort: Equestria's economy baffles me to no end.

Cheerilee said with a chirp,

Hellioning: First Nyx, and now Cheerilee? Crap, it's contagious!
Vimbert: Bird flu has reached Equestria.

reaching under a nearby table and pulling out a box. “I actually was able to spend the last of the budget on some prizes for your events.”

“Prizes? Oh boy, nothing is better than having prizes.” Dash said, the pegasus already digging through the prize box as she took stock of what all Cheerilee had bought.

Ezn: Derpy, get out of that box!

“Cool, you got yo-yo’s in here.” Dash eventually offered, pulling her head out of the box with one of the said yo-yo’s. In a flash the pegasus had the yo-yo string around her hoof, giving it a flick and sending the little plastic disk down and up the string in a smooth motion before pulling off a simple sleeper trick, where the yo-yo stayed at the bottom of the string but continued spinning.

simonAJ: Did you seriously just spend 3/4 of a paragraph describing a yo-yo trick? I can't even make a joke about that. I'm flabbergasted.
Hellioning: Considering most yo-yo tricks are all about finger control, how does that work with hooves?

“Heh, I used to be pretty good at this.” Dash admitted,

Ezn: “But then I took an arrow to the yo-yo.”

a flick of her hoof bringing the yo-yo out of the sleeper trick. A few more flicks to build up speed and then Dash quickly wrapped some of the string around her hooves, resulting in the yo-yo swinging back and forth inside a triangle of string.

“This here is called ‘The Pendulum’.”

Disco: It’s like I’m in the third grade all over again!

“That’s great Dash, but shouldn’t you leave the prizes for the ponies who actually win them?”

“Sure, just one more trick. You heard of ‘Around the World’?

Hellioning: Yeah, I love Daft Punk.
Vimbert: Daft Pony?
Crazy56U: Honey, let it go. If we spend the entire riff pony-fying terms, we're going to be here for a while.

Well, this is my super, double loop, around the sun trick.” With that Dash gave the yo-yo a firm flick, the pegasus jumping into to mid air as she used her wings to spin herself. Still, a few seconds after starting the trick, Dash flopped to the ground, Cheerilee and Twilight laughing out loud as Dash had managed to hog-tie

CTOONfan1: There's that phrase again.
Ezn: a hog to

her legs and wings with yo-yo string.

Disco: And Phoe’s squees echoed through the halls of Equestria Daily.
Vimbert: And then everything sexual happened.

“Oh, wow Dash, that really was something.” Twilight prodded.

Vimbert: “Prodded”... see?

“Yeah yeah... laugh it up. Now, are you going to stand there giggling or are you going to lend me a hoof?”

Ezn: “You need five hooves to do this next trick.”

=============

The Learn and Play Day was in full swing the moment it opened to the public at 9:00 that morning. The students had already arrived and set up their exhibits, each having done a project on something that interested them.

Svensvenderson: And only 17 baking soda and vinegar volcanoes.

There were exhibits about farming techniques, about history, about how weather was made, and dozens of other little topics where the students tried to show off their work.

Disco: Yet none of them showed how the first Winter Wrap-Up was done.
DiStort: That's classified info, Disco.

That was the “Learn” part of the “Learn and Play Day”, where the students not only learned more about subjects they wanted to know more about

Hellioning: If pony children are anything about human children, that is a category consisting only of video games and candy.

but some parents and other ponies in the community had a chance to learn something new as well.

Anon13: Primarily the depths of boredom a pony can endure.

“Isn’t this so super duper fun Fluttershy?!” Pinkie Pie chirped,

Vimbert: And another victim is claimed.

bouncing along between the student exhibits while Fluttershy walked calmly beside her. “I mean, I knew Cotton Candy was good

Vimbert: Of course. She’s a nice pony.

and I knew how to make it but I never knew how little pieces of sugar turned into stringy, wingy goodness.”

Disco: She’s taking notes for the next Cupcakes sequel.

“Yes, that was a really interesting display.”

Private Sprinkles: What I really liked about it was when it ended.

“Which one’s been your favorite so far?”

“Well... um...I liked the one about how caterpillars become butterflies. I already knew about it,

CTOONfan1: before it was mainstream.
Anon13: Hipstershy!

but the student did such a wonderful job explaining it.”

“All the kids did a really good job. Oh, I wish I could have an exhibit. I’d do one about parties.”

“Parties?”

“Well duh; parties aren’t as easy as everypony thinks. There are lots of rules you have to follow, the Pinkie Pie Party rules.”

DiStort: "Parties aren't about WHY! They're about WHY NOT?!"
Anonymous: WHY are Pinkie's parties so dangerous?
CTOONfan1: Why not MARRY safe parties if you love them so much?

The pink pony offered matter of factly.

“Really?” Fluttershy offered

Blahdeblah: Please, for the love of Faust, use a thesaurus! They don't bite, I promise!

in disbelief.

Ezn: A bold sales technique.

“I would never imagine you actually had rules for your parties.”

Crazy56U: Fluttershy... please realize who you're talking about. This is expected of her!
Yarrik: First rule of Pinkie Pie Parties: Do not talk about Pinkie Pie Parties.
Anonymous: Rule 2: DO NOT TALK ABOUT PINKIE'S PARTIES!
Hellioning: Rule 3: Bring a friend!

“Of course! How do you think they turn out so good? I have rules you can never ever ever ever never ever break, and as long as you don’t break them then the party is a guaranteed success. Like, Rule #1: -

Disco: Don’t talk about Pinkie’s parties.

Every party must has

Ezn: cheezburger and pictures of cat slathered with Impact font
Blahdeblah: I can has grammar check?

decorations... or Rule #157: If the ratio of fillies and colts to mares and stallions is at least two to one, there must be a pinata.”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but tilt her head to one side, confusion across her face.

Ezn: “Everything’s sideways!”

“Rule #157? How many rules are there?”

“376.”

“Oh... oh my... that’s...

Disco: Ridiculously arbitrary.

that’s a lot of rules.”

“Hey, throwing parties is my special talent

Ezn: Just in case you forgot.

and it is serious business to make them seriously super, duper fun. OH! Hey, there’s Nyx’s booth! We should go see what she did.”

Hellioning: "I mean, she's the only reason we exist, anyway! ALL HAIL NYX!"

With that Pinkie Pie bounded ahead, forcing Fluttershy to break into

Ezn: song, bringing Past Sins several places higher in my fic hierarchy.

a quick trot just to catch up. A group of stallions and mares

Ezn: who were horses and not ponies

were just stepping away from Nyx’s booth

CTOONfan1: They wanted to get as far away as possible.

when the pink earth pony and yellow pegasus came up,

Ezn: Berry Punch? Raindrops? What?

the black filly offering them a big smile.

Ezn: “She’s trying to sell us something! Run!”

“Hey Fluttershy. Hey Pinkie Pie.”

Disco: Oh hai guys.
Crazy56U: Oh hai Mark.
Yarrik: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!

“Hey there Nyx.” Pinkie Pie chirped.

Hellioning: The chirps are spreading! It's an epidemic! We need to quarantine them!
Crazy56U: So, in other words... it's a birdemic. Quick, get the coat hangers!
Ezn: My little birdie, my little birdie...

I used to wonder what birdsong could be!

Until you shared your contagious birdflu with me!

“What super duper thing did you do for your exhibit? Give us the whole rundown.”

“If you don’t mind, that is.” Fluttershy offered, trying to curb Pinkie Pie’s enthusiasm.

Ezn: “Stop it! We don’t want Nyx to think we actually like her!”

“Of course not, it’s-” Nyx replied, before coughing into her hoof to clear her throat. “I chose to make my Exhibit about

Ezn: Those annoying People who capitalise random Nouns.

Transfiguration Magic.”

“Tranafigurwhatiewhat?”

Ezn: Pinkie Pie needs those wiki links too.

Nyx giggled.

Private Sprinkles: And an angel died that day.
Vimbert: Every time Nyx smiles, a puppy dies.
Crazy56U: And when she laughs, a pony has a heart attack.

“Transfiguration, Pinkie Pie. It’s the magic that focuses on turning one thing into another.”

CTOONfan1: Really? Can it turn this story into something more entertaining?

At that the filly pointed to a number of pictures she had set up on the backdrop of her exhibit.

Ezn: “Nyx, have you been looking under Twilight’s bed again? Those pictures aren’t nice, you know.”

“As you can see, Transfiguration Magic can be used to transform practically anything into anything else. A stick into a fancy walking cane. A stone into a hat. An apple into a horse drawn carriage.

Private Sprinkles: A good premise into a horrible execution.
Ezn: You forgot “mice into abomination horse-demons”.
RingmasterJ5: Mykan knows transfiguration magic?

“Transfiguration Magic is only truly limited by the skill and the ability of the pony casting it. Skilled unicorns, such as the local fashion designer Rarity, can use Transfiguration to turn fabric into a dress.

Svensvenderson: That's called 'sewing', Nyx.
Crazy56U: Please, she's too busy being a Mary Sue to know what sewing is... because that's how that works.

Or another unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, being able to transfigure four common mice into four full sized horses.”

Ezn: How could I ever have doubted you, Pen Stroke?
Disco: Nyx’s exhibit was surrounded by cacti.
Ezn: It’s so nice that she was such a good relationship with her adoptive grandfather.

“I remember that.” Pinkie Pie said with a giggle. “They didn’t exactly look like horses.”

“Yes, and that leads me to the next part of my exhibit. The limits of Transfiguration Magic. Transfiguration magic is, above all, temporary.

Ezn: “Much like all life. I’d like to digress into philosophy for just a moment...”

Everything transfigured will eventually turn back to normal.

Anon13: Wouldn’t that mean Rarity’s dresses eventually pop back into random bits of cloth? … And wouldn’t that be really fun to watch?

This is why most anything that needs to be permanent is still hoof made, like houses and clothing,

Vimbert: “even though I just said that Rarity uses it to make dresses. Guess my filthy earth pony side is showing at last.”

since Transfiguration magic only lasts for so long. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a need for construction works, carpenters, or any other ponies that make things.

“And, as a final part of my exhibit, I would like to provide a live demonstration of Transfiguration Magic.”

At that Nyx pointed to the rock setting on the table in the center of her exhibit.

Ezn: “This rock setting is designed to invoke primitive emotions in us ponies. Emotions of anger, and of love.”

The black filly then shut her eyes, focusing as her horn began to glow. The rock glowed until, eventually, it popped and turned into a small, potted flower.

Disco: Which began to scream in terror.
Yarrik: "For my next trick, I turn it into a whale!"
Hellioning: "Oh bother. Not again."

“Oooooooooooooo...” Pinkie Pie said, leaning in and sniffing the floor.

Isphone: Silly Pinkie. We're talking about the flower.

“It even smells real.”

“So, any questions?”

Hellioning: Several. First off, how does it feel, being a Mary Sue?
Disco: “Can I eat it?”
Vimbert: I'll take a flower chip... AND EAT IT!

“No, none at all.

Ezn: “I don’t question things. I just do what the Man tells me to.”

That was very well done, Nyx. You should be-”

Ezn: “-boiled in oil.”

Fluttershy began to say, only for Pinkie Pie to put her head between the pegasus and filly.

Ezn: “THREE-WAY!”

“OH, I got a question! Have you tried changing anything bigger than a rock? Oh, do you take requests?”

“Well... no, but I guess I could try. Uh... what did you have in mind?”

Ezn: “I’ve got thoughts in my mind, silly!”

“Turn that grass into cotton candy. No, turn that into a candy apple. Wait, you should turn that stallion’s bowtie into a squirty flower. OH, no no no no. I know what you should try to do!” Pinkie Pie smiled,

Ezn: “No, Pinkie. We’re going to do the same thing we do every night...”
Svensvenderson: Turn Scootaloo into a chicken?
Hellioning: That wouldn't accomplish anything, it'd be like turning Nyx into a badly written character.
Crazy56U: Or making Pinkie Pie insane.

pointing a hoof at Fluttershy. “Turn her into a tree.”

Disco: **** just got real.
Vimbert: Pardon me while I go break things for several hours.

“Turn who into a what now?” Nyx asked, tilting her head to one side in confusion.

“Turn Fluttershy into a tree.”

“Why?”

Ezn: The million-dollar question.
Vimbert: Because pointless fandom reference!

“Because this one time on a train I got talking with Rainbow Dash and Twilight and for some strange reason Dash thought Rainbow Dash was a tree, even though she obviously isn’t. But then Fluttershy said she’d like to be a tree, so can you turn her into a tree? It would be super duper fun.”

Ezn: “This is a fond memory that my friends and I have cherished. We reminisce about it all the time.”

“Well... I don’t know....”

“Oh come on, just give it a try. You never know until you try.” Pinkie Pie chirped.

“Are you okay with this Fluttershy?”

Ezn: Nah, I prefer that other Fluttershy. The one that comes with the gala dress.

“Well, it won’t hurt will it?” The pegasus asked quietly.

Ezn: Rainbow Day, it’s really rude to butt into other ponies’ conversations like this!

“It shouldn’t.”

Disco: “You’ll die too quickly.”

“And it won’t be permanent?”

Ezn: “Weren’t you listening to my speech? Nothing is permanent! We are all dust in the wind!”

“No, Transfiguration Magic is by definition temporary.” Nyx assured. “That and the first spell Twilight made me learn when I started this project was how to break a Transfiguration spell... in case I made a mistake.”

CTOONfan1: You? Make mistakes? Yeah right.
Svensvenderson: Silly Mary-Sue, you can do no wrong!

“Well... I am kind of curious what it would be like...”

“See? It will be so much fun!” Pinkie Pie half shouted,

Vimbert: Half-moaned

bouncing a little in excitement. Nyx could only swallow hard,

Ezn: Twilight had taught her well.

having been literally put on the spot

Anon13: Unless Pinkie picked Nyx up and put her on a circle on the ground YOU’VE GOT IT WRONG.

by the pink earth pony as some others in the crowd had gathered. Taking a deep breath, Nyx

Ezn: Not in public, Nyx!

shut her eyes as her horn began to glow. First a single level of glow,

Ezn: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about Nyx’s glow level?

then another took shape

Ezn: Fact: levels of glow can take shape.

as the filly focused on her magic.

============

“Man, some of these booths are really cool.” Rainbow Dash offered,

Ezn: I’ve run out of these jokes, but ponies just keep offering!

she and Twilight trotting amongst them. “I mean, did you see what Scootaloo did?

Ezn: “No, I don’t usually pay attention to that failure of a pony.”

She actually explained how my Sonic Rainboom works. I didn’t even really knew how it worked,

CTOONfan1: I didn't knew how it work, so her explanation really helping.

besides the fact I was breaking the sound barrier.”

Disco: Someone has been watching pony physics videos.

“Yes, all the students have really done-”Twilight

Ezn: The space has been left out here to visually display the abruptness of what interrupted Twilight. A bold typographical choice.

began, only to be silenced as the ground began to shake and a loud noise cut through the air.

ssssrrrr-RRRRUUUUGGGGHHHH-RRRUUUGGGHHH-frrggggh.....trrrssss-ssssttthhh-stttshh...

Private Sprinkles: Did someone break the T.V again?
Crazy56U: Either that, or Giygas was summoned.
Anon13: Or else some filly's doing an exhibit on passing kidney stones.
Yarrik: Don't be silly, that's the call of Cthulhu. Don't you feel your sanity oozing out your ears?
Hellioning: Remember children: Never summon Great Old Ones at home! Go to a friend's house instead!
Disco: I’a Cthulhu!
Crazy56U: HE COMES.
Anon13: For the love of god, do NOT make this a clopfic!

“What was that?” Twilight asked, regaining her footing from what had felt like a minor earthquake.

Ezn: It was something that felt like a minor earthquake.

When she got no answer,

Ezn: Oh, so NOW you ponies aren’t offering stuff anymore?

Twilight turned to look at Dash, who was staring narrowed eyed in the opposite direction. Following the pegasus' gaze Twilight nearly choked on the air in her own lungs at what she saw.

Ezn: Nyx had accidentally summoned Discord and single-hoofedly defeated him, and was now glowing with deadly Sue-radiation.

A large, leafy tree had appeared in the center of the exhibits, as tall as the school house with a trunk as thick as a pony was long. It was a weeping willow tree, its long hanging branches and leaves draping over the nearby exhibits. The tree, however, was very unusual as its bark was a bright yellow and all of its leaves were a light, frilly pink.

Ezn: I WONDER WHAT THIS COULD BE.

“Oh my Gosh! You DID IT!”

simonAJ: "You wrote something even more balls-to-the-wall retarded than Spiderses!"

Pinkie Pie’s voice burst out above the crowd,

Ezn: killing thousands.

drawing Rainbow Dash and Twilight out of their stupor. The two quickly raced through the network of tables and to the base of the tree. Pinkie Pie had climbed up into the branches, climbing around with speed and agility that would make a monkey proud.

Ezn: A little off to the side, Lyra wiped a single tear from her eye and beamed with pride.

“Pinkie Pie, where the hay did this tree come from?” Dash asked, the pegasus taking flight as she caught up to Pinkie Pie in the tree’s crown.

Jamie Norman: Fluttershy - Queen of the Trees!

“It was super duper amazing! Nyx did it with her magic!”

“Nyx did?”

DiStort: Way to raise a witch, Twilight.
Crazy56U: I don't think we should be concerned until the flying monkeys appear.

Twilight said, the unicorn looking up and down the tree in

Ezn: lust she couldn’t understand.

disbelief before her eyes narrowed. “Wait, where is Nyx?”

Ezn: “She didn’t survive the casting.”

“Over here.” The filly replied, climbing out from beneath her exhibit table. “Twilight, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean... well, I meant to

Ezn: “AND HAVE NO REGRETS! Fluttershy will be a tree... forever!”

but Pinkie Pie asked and Fluttershy said it was okay but I didn’t think I would be able to do it.”

“Do what?” Twilight asked.

Ezn: Nyx: “Have a believable character arc.”
Twilight: “You were right.”

“She turned Fluttershy into a tree!” Pinkie Pie cheered as she hung from one of the branches.

“Wait... wait wait wait.” Dash said, pointing a hoof at the yellow and pink weeping willow. “This, this tree right here. This tree is Fluttershy.”

Disco: Nobody move! She might start balding!

“Well duh. Of course it is! I just told you that Nyx turned Fluttershy into a tree. Seriously Dash, I’d think you’d be happy. After all, you were the one that thought Fluttershy was a tree when we were on our way to Appleloosa.”

Ezn: “We have a page about it in our photo album and everything!”

“I did not! I was being sarcastic.”

“Sarcastawhat?”

Ezn: I do not understand your pony sarcasm. Provide me with wiki links.
Crazy56U: But they'll be broken...

As Dash tried again to explain to Pinkie Pie why she had once called Fluttershy a tree,

Ezn: and this story rode on the laurels of S01E21 “Over A Barrel”

Twilight began to glance nervously around the steadily growing crowd of ponies.

Ezn: ZOMBIES...

They were all murmuring and whispering about Nyx, considering a filly had just done something that even she wouldn’t have been able to do without a lot of practice.

DiStort: Nearby, a torch and pitchfork salespony suddenly gets the feeling he's going to have a really good day.

“Nyx, Sweetie.” Twilight whispered, leaning into the little black filly.

Ezn: “I want you to try this transfiguration stuff again... tonight.”

“Can you turn Fluttershy back... now?!”

Disco: “This meme is so last season!”

The last words communicated the urgency of the request,

Ezn: This story is suitable for viewing by the italics-impaired.

Nyx nodding her head and shutting her eyes.

Ezn: putting her left hoof out and spinning all about
Isphone: Lets do the time warp again!

The filly’s horn glowed again, reaching the same brilliance it had when first casting the Transfiguration spell. Twilight watched and observed

Ezn: That’s why she has TWO eyes, y’see.

the glow around Nyx’s horn and how far it radiated out, a sign of how hard a unicorn was straining their natural magical ability.

The glow got about twice as bright and large as when Nyx was usually using her horn before the tree imploded in

Ezn: As opposed to imploding out.

on itself, its roots being pulled out of the ground. Dash grabbed Pinkie Pie before she could drop out of the air, the blue pegasus setting the earth pony down just as a resounding pop filled the air.

Ezn: Meanwhile, Pinkie slipped out of Dash’s hooves and fell to the ground, breaking her neck in the process.

With that pop Fluttershy reappeared, the pegasus dropping to the ground with a small thud.

Ezn: why won’t you die

“Fluttershy, are you okay?” Twilight asked, quickly rushing up to help her friend back to her hooves.

Ezn: “Yeah, I’m only a little traumatised.”

“Ye... yes, I’m...I’m fine.”

“Oh, what was it like? What was it like?” Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing in excitement.

“It was......”

Disco: Terrifying?
Vimbert: Painful?
Isphone: A level of disturbing that cannot be properly conveyed through spoken word?
Yarrik: STUPID?!
Anon13: That’s it.

Fluttershy began, pausing a moment to collect her thoughts.

Ezn: “It was like being a tree.”

Not only did Pinkie Pie and Dash lean in to hear the answer, but any ponies nearby who had witnessed the feat of magic leaned in as well, eager to hear the a first hand

Ezn: And suddenly Past Sins was a Human in Equestria fic.

account of what it was like to be a tree.

“Nice.” Fluttershy finally concluded.

DiStort: In other words, it was the most horrifyingly painful thing she had ever experienced.
Vimbert: Check another one off the list of pointless fandom references!

Dash’s disappointment in the answer was reflected on the faces of most ponies who had watched.

Ezn: The dragoneye magic had worn off by now, so she was unable to grab the disappointment off their faces and offer it back to them at exorbitant prices.

Hearing that being turned into a tree was “nice” wasn’t exactly the kind of answer they had been hoping for.

Vimbert: When not even the author is pleased with his own meta-joke, things are not good.

Pinkie Pie was, as usual, un-phased.

Vimbert: She had managed to keep herself in this plane of existence. She was fazed, however.

“Oh, now I want to be turned into something! A rose bush... no, a balloon! NO! Turn me into a cake, turn me into a-”

Anonymous: I wanna be a pie!
Yarrik: A Pinkie Pie! Genius!
Vimbert: And then you should turn Rainbow Dash into a cupcake!
Crazy56U: Hmm... "Cupcakes", but replacing Pinkie with Nightmare Moon... nah, it wouldn't be the same.

“Wow, would you look at that! It’s almost lunch time.”

Ezn: “Nyx, turn Scootaloo into lunch.”

Twilight interrupted, putting a hoof against Pinkie Pie’s mouth while she put on a forced smile. “Personally, I’m starved. Aren’t you starved Nyx? Of course you are,

Ezn: “I never feed you!”

you just turned a pony into a tree. That kind of thing must really work up an appetite.

CTOONfan1: "I should know. I've turned several ponies into cacti."

Why don’t we go get something to eat?”

Anon13: And just for fun, why don’t we go someplace quiet and just start screaming and never stop? ‘Cuz that’s what I’m gonna do!

Not even waiting an answer from the black filly,

Ezn: This is the plight of the black filly in our society.

Twilight grabbed up Nyx with a levitation spell and galloped out of the crowd of ponies.

“Aw... but I wanted to be a cake...”

Disco: Someone has been reading too many Nightly Roundups.

Pinkie Pie, her voice ringing with a twinge of disappointment.

The pink pony then quickly perked up, eyes darting around as she scratched at her neck.

“What’s wrong Pinkie Pie?”

Ezn: “My eyes just darted away from me!”

“Itchy Neck, Itchy Neck.” The pony replied.

Ezn: Go away, Hayseed Turniptruck!

“Itchy neck... wait, like Twitchy Tail?” Dash asked.

“No, Silly. Twitchy Tail is when something is about to fall.”

“Then what does Itchy Neck mean?” Fluttershy asked.

Jamie Norman: Horseflies.
Ezn: “It means I’m in fanfiction with Nyx!”

“Somepony is watching us.” Pinkie Pie replied, eyes moving around the now dispersing crowd of ponies.

Disco: She’s on to us! Hide!

“Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy just got turned into a tree. Everypony was watching us.” Dash pointed out.

“No, no no no no. That was an innocent ‘wow that’s a really cool thing that happened’ watching us. No, Itchy Neck is bad kind of watching.”

“Bad watching? What the hay is bad watching?”

Ezn: Bad watching is when you watch something bad. Or read something bad. Like the other day I was reading this fanfic called- OH SNAP!

“Ssssspyyyyying.”

Crazy56U: Damn it, the fan fic is having buffering issues!
Vimbert: The framerate is downright terrible here.

Pinkie Pie replied with a hush. “And the spy is... that way!”

Without another word the pink pony was off, galloping at a full sprint

Ezn: The bar was about to close and Berry Punch was still sober.

leaving a very confused Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

Ezn: She ran so fast that she made a new pony called Rainbowshy!

“She is so random.”

Ezn: Little did Rainbow Dash know that particle decay is the only TRUE randomness.

Disco: Next time, on Past Sins MST! Will Pinkie find the spy? How much can Epic Failure drink? Can Nyx ascend to new levels of Mary Sue-dom? Does anyone actually care?! To find out, tune in next time, to Past Sins MST!
Ezn: Same Past URL, same Sins channel!

=====================================================================
Disco: What, no Questions, Comments, Concerns?
DiStort: Aww, but I have so many!
simonAJ: Shove 'em. That's the old Pen Stroke. The new and reformed Pen Stroke knows he's perfect in every way.
Crazy56U: In other words, Nyx turned him into a Gary Sue.

Next Chapter: Guest Submission: Fan/fic/ Theatre presents: Past Sins, Original Edit, Part 3 Estimated time remaining: 28 Hours, 12 Minutes