It was quiet up on the roof this late at night. The stars were strangely visible, and the traffic below seemed even more distant. Pete sat on the block that was his own apartment with Luna next to him, the princess calmly looking at the sky as well. After a minute Pete looked over and chuckled.

“Usually this is Celestia and I in the morning,” he laughed.

Luna let out a small giggle of her own and looked at the human. “I am well aware. … There was something I wanted to talk to you about, Pete.”

Pete shrugged, “Go for it.”

“I was wondering,” Luna said looking solemnly at Pete, “What makes you hate humans so much?”

Pete gave a sour laugh. “What isn't to hate? … Look, I've had people ask me that before, parents, therapists a couple of times, and here's what I tell them all. You try growing up with people picking on you. 'Loser' or 'fat ass,' making fun of anything I'm doing. Mocking me, dumping their half eaten food on my tray going, 'eat up piggy.' Then you follow that with every friend after using you, dumping you as soon as someone else comes by. Everyone talking behind your back, it drives you insane, Luna.”

“Why?” the Princess of Night asked, worry in her eyes.

“Because people suck.”

“No,” she shook her head, “Why would they call you a … 'fat ass' or 'pig?' You hardly seem overweight, or like a donkey.”

Pete chuckled derisively, “Because I used to be fat. Very fat. And there's something people don't see about that. Yeah, I was overweight, but what I didn't know, and what those other people didn't know, is what that did to me. Being overweight makes the rest of your body start to mess up, and not just as long as you're fat.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, orange, cylindrical bottle.

“What is that?”

Pete looked at Luna sadly. “Heart pills. I'm only 25, and I have heart problems because of being grossly overweight for my entire childhood into my early adulthood.” Pete gripped the pill bottled hard, fighting back tears. “I didn't know why I ate so much, I still don't know why I did, I knew it was unhealthy but it didn't matter. Days and days of abuse and I stopped caring. Dying would have been fine, but I didn't know how irreversible it would be. A lot of teens hate themselves, hate everyone, depression is rampant, but you can get better like I did. Then you find out that being fat made your heart pump too hard, cut years off your life, left you at risk for more complications down the line, and then you start to hate those people. The ones that made fun of you for being fat, because by doing that they were essentially cheering on your death.”

“Pete,” Luna said, her voice trying to be comforting.

“I could take all that. I could stand the verbal abuse, but then the fighting started. Escalated in high school, didn't stop till college. Even then it was difficult. D'you know how hard it is to lose weight, work out, when everyone around you is pointing and laughing? It's no wonder so many people are fat with that attitude being all over.”

Luna was still caught on his previous statement. “Fighting? They became physically violent?”

“Yeah. More than once. Pretty often actually, at least once a week. After a while I got good at fighting. Not fantastic mind you, but I could hold my own in a scrap. Learned how to use my weight to my advantage. Then I found out it was literally killing me. Some might say I got lucky, found out before it killed me, lost the weight, but … I still have a weak heart.” Pete slowly sunk to the ground, unable to hold himself up any longer. “Even now I'm at risk for a heart attack, all these years later. Too much stress and just, boom. There I go. There's no avoiding it either. Old age will only make it worse, my lifespan is completely down in the toilet.”

Suddenly, Luna laughed bitterly. “This is what I would want, isn't it? To hear that he's broken, that I could do something.” The blue alicorn turned and looked at the cityscape. “That my people could still need me...”

“Luna, what the hell are you talking about? You think I'm kidding right now?”

“It's a nice fantasy,” she said quietly, obviously to herself.

Pete struggled to his feet and positioned himself in front of her, anger evident on his face. “Dammit, Luna, look at me!”

Luna's face changed to one of amusement, then slowly into horror. “You-you're not...”

“Not what?” Pete asked, utterly bewildered at the last several moments of the conversation. Here he was, pouring his soul out, and she was laughing? His anger then faded into sadness. Of course she was, they'd all said since day one that ponies were very much like people. Of course they'd all let him down eventually.

Consciousness returned to Pete in small waves. He stirred slowly in the dark, until he finally realized that he was in the dark. Groaning lightly and grasping at any thought that passed him, hoping for a thread of consciousness to guide him back to his mind. He promptly wished that he hadn't as the throbbing of his head made him wish he'd died. Though the sensation was unfamiliar through experience, he'd dealt with enough of them to know what it was. He was hung over. He felt the sheets and blanket on his body, the sensation telling him he was naked, and in his bed. The party the night before slowly filtered back into his mind and he groaned in annoyance. Obviously someone had spiked his drink, or he'd picked up the wrong cup, and that led to his current pain. Sending a mental swear to the sunlight that would surely be out his door, Pete pulled his soft, warm pillow closer to his face and started to nod off again.

That was, until he recognized those two words did not fit his pillows. Pete's pillows were flat as books and typically lukewarm at best. Taking a deep breath he caught a strange scent of flowers, though he could not identify what kind he was positive it was a floral scent. Steadying himself for pain, Pete opened his eyes, immediately cursing his lack of glasses, and tried to take note of what he was holding. Of course, as he expected, it wasn't a 'what' but rather a 'who.' The who was a unicorn, as evident by the lack of wings and the small protrusion atop their head. He gave a small sight of relief at this, slowly remembering Celestia making a few very obvious, if not overtly playful, passes at him the night before.

A million worries played through his mind, the least of them not being Applejack's reaction to this event. After a moment of panic, and headache, those worries faded. The deed was done, nothing more could be said, and something within Pete grew bright. He had made love to one of the mane six. He couldn't recall the event at all, but considering his position and nudity that was obviously what had happened. For Pete, it was a dream come true, and he opted to revel in it for a while. He pulled the mare closer to himself and buried his face into her chest, where the fur was thickest. She responded with a light giggle, the sound identifying her as Twilight, which sent another small surge of victory through Pete as she wrapped her hooves around his neck.

At this point Pete made two observations. The first being that pony hooves were warm. Not body temperature, but not cold either. They were also somewhat soft, though still tough enough to shatter bones. The second being in relation to his feeling of triumph, that he'd slept with Twilight Sparkle, leader of the Elements of Harmony, and the closest you get to the throne without the public notoriety. Though that didn't mean anything in his world, it was still a nice feeling. He laid there snuggling Twilight, throughly enjoying how soft her fur was and how nice she smelled, before the mare started to stir.

“Agh,” she groaned, a hoof leaving Pete's back and reaching up to rub her face. “Where am I?”

“Careful,” Pete whispered in response, Twilight physically tightening up with fear, “Relax, we're in my room. How's your head?”

“It's pounding.”

Pete chuckled, “Mine too. I'd guess everyone else's is as well.” Pete paused for a moment as Twilight stretched out, evidently got more comfortable, and then slowly realized where she was. “So, uh, do you remember how we got here?”

“Not really,” she replied slowly, thinking her way through the night before. “What happened?”

“I have no idea,” Pete said earnestly, “But, um … I'm kinda … naked.”

There was a long pause, only broken sometime later, though Pete had no idea how long, by Twilight letting out a lack luster, “oh.” Pete watched, as best he could thanks to the darkness and lack of eye wear, as Twilight tilted her head upwards and creeped a hoof down. Confirming for herself that the human was naked, by finding his own horn no less, she suddenly scrambled out of the bed and ran for the door. There was a brief flash of sunlight as the door few open, and then darkness as it shut.

Pete rolled over to where she'd been laying. The warmth of summer had started to fade in the early August week, and his naked form craved the body heat she had left. He laid there for several minutes, smiling wide and hoping some more sleep would cure his hangover. At least until reality set in. The worries from before came back, but this time amped up to ten. Twilight had ran out very fast, and she was close to Celestia. As close as you could get without being headlining news. If Twilight felt violated, and she was crying to Celestia right now...

A vivid image of Celestia tearing Pete's entrails out with her magic, then sending his husk to the surface of the sun got the man out of bed quickly. He switched on the lamp in his room, finding his glasses tossed haphazardly on the bedside table, and put them on. He then proceeded to dress, slipping into his usual all black attire, and almost ran out into the main room. He found the mares gathered around, most of them still disheveled from the night before. Except for Twilight, who was clearly still slightly damp from a shower, and nursing a mug of coffee. Pete silently stepped into the semicircle that had formed around the couch, which included the two alicorn rulers, and sat on the poorly upholstered cushions.

Across from him sat Twilight and Celestia, arguably the least disheveled of the group. Twilight was only missing some brushing from her shower, with her fur still matted in places. Celestia simply looked tired, as did the rest of the group. Luna, to his left, was only slightly worse than Celestia, probably thanks to their ethereal manes not being capable of tangling. The Princess of Night did however seem much more tired, with bags visible under her eyes. Next to her were Fluttershy and Rarity. The white unicorn looked the second best of the non alicorn group, brush in her magical grip and slowly going through her mane and having obviously already done her tail. Fluttershy would be third, with only her mane looking slightly messy, which was an accomplishment for how long it was. Applejack and Pinkie Pie were to the right of the couch, and Pinkie hardly looked wrong at all. Like Fluttershy, Pinkie's mane was only slightly messy, and neither mare had significant bags under their eyes. If Pete had to guess, they were asleep fairly early. Applejack on the other hand was quite the mess. Her mane and tail were undone and looked like she'd slept in a field. Her posture perfectly reflected the state of heavy drinking that had taken place, somewhere between laying down and a slump. Rainbow Dash was up on the couch with Pete, her mane only out of place if one were intimately familiar with her usual unbrushed look. However, she had possibly the biggest bags under her eyes, and was letting out a near continuous yawn, teetering on the brink of passing back out. The human slowly rubbed his face and forehead, most of the collective around him understanding his pain.

“I got drunk last night,” he said flatly.

“We all did,” Applejack retorted in her usually surly tone.

“No,” Pete shook his head, “I don't drink. I do not drink, at all. Someone spiked my drink.”

“If you're insinuatin' somethin' then you better-” Applejack's heated words were cut off by an intense giggling next to her.

“The only reason you didn't like drinking before was because you never had one of my drinks!” Pinkie shouted and giggled, hangovers apparently not affecting her.

Pete leveled a flat gaze at the party pony. “Care to explain?”

Pinkie was surprised at how well the party was going. She knew how to throw a party, sure, but with the events of the last few days combined even she was dubious that the others would lighten up. That changed though when the alcohol started to pass through her hooves, into cups, and finally into mouths. The only one not drinking was Pete. Their host was standing almost awkwardly in the corner in the kitchen, simply watching.

Pinkie had many thoughts about the young man. Largely based around his personality. It seemed, to her, that he was a genuinely happy guy inside, but he kept pulling himself into pessimism for some reason she didn't know. He always had this strange air of self restraint on, but the few times it had broke she'd almost clapped with joy. She blamed his mood partially on his chosen attire, constant black had to drive somepony's mood down. Even his drink, some doctor soda, was a black brown color.

However, that color made it perfect for her idea! Pinkie giggled slightly and trotted over to the drink table, formerly the kitchen table, and mixed together a drink using Pete's soda. She sat the drink on the table and slipped closer to Pete. His attention was on the other side of the room, on the princesses and Rarity in the corner near the door to the roof.

“Perfect,” the pink pony whispered to herself, edging closer to her prey.

When she was just a foot away, Pinkie bounced straight up and shouted, “Hi,” causing Pete to jump, and drop his soda. The human groaned at his soon to be sticky clothes, and shot Pinkie a look of irritation.

“What the hell?” Pete asked calmly.

Pinkie giggled, “I didn't think you'd jump THAT much!”

Pete opened his mouth to respond, but quickly closed it. With a light sigh he stepped off to his room for a change of shirt. When he returned in his clean clothing, a light blue shirt rather than his typical black, Pinkie handed him her preprepared drink, as an apology.

“You don't have to apologize, Pinkie,” Pete said, taking the drink in hand. “I'm just kind of... I dunno, off tonight.”

“How so?” the bubbly mare asked.

“Lotta things on my mind. About me, and … well, everything really. It's all kinda leaving a bad taste in my mouth.” Pete took a gulp on the laced soda and grimaced. “That's not helping much. … Could it be going flat already?”

“Maybe,” Pinkie replied seriously, “That bottle was almost empty.”

“Ick, best power through this then. Don't want to open the other bottle before finishing this one.”

“And I made you drinks for the rest of the night.”

The group was staring at Pinkie in shock. Obviously it wasn't acceptable behavior in either world to spike someone's drink. Pete, however, was slightly shaking. Luna looked over at the man and tilted her head.

“Is something amiss? I mean, other than what we have just learned.”

“It … no … okay,” Pete sighed, “Yeah, there is. … I have something I need to tell you all.”

“And what's that?” Applejack asked, irritation evident in her look.

“I … have somewhat of a heart condition.” Immediately after finishing his sentence, Pete visibly deflated.

By contrast, the rest of the room looked on in shock.

“What does thou mean?” Luna half shouted.

“I just … I have a weak heart, and so things like alcohol can seriously damage me. I mean, I'm already damaged, but it doesn't help. I don't remember what happened last night, so who knows what kind of insanity I got into, or if it mixed well with my pills, or any number of things. I could have had a heart attack last night and not have known until it was too late.”

Celestia gave a short look around the room, “None of us would have known.”

“These are the kinds of things you tell folks, Pete!” Rainbow Dash shouted, a look not unlike shock in her eyes, the emotion powering through her tiredness.

Even Applejack looked apologetic, biting her lower lip and averting her eyes. The other ponies looked concerned, though Luna was more stunned, but Pinkie Pie was the one that flew off the handle. The pink mare leapt up into Pete's lap and hugged him tightly, bawling much like she had the day before around Rainbow's neck. The human merely sighed and gave her a light hug back.

“I'm sorry,” he said to the group, “You're right, Rainbow, I should have said something. This is just as much my fault. If I had been up front about why I don't drink this never would have happened.” Pete glanced at Twilight some what sadly, “None of it.”

Rainbow slowly wrapped a wing around Pete, which the human gently touched the edge of with his opposite hand. The trio sat like that for a moment, before Pete realized that Pinkie had gone quiet. Looking down, he found the mare had the side of her head pressed against his chest.

“Uh... what are you doing, Pinkie?” he asked, a slight blush on his face.

“I'm listening to your heart,” she replied quietly, “It doesn't sound weak...”

Pete chuckled and ran a hand over the mare's mane. “No, and that's what the doctors tell me too. But what's weak about it is that it could give out any time. If I'd gotten too active last night, with the booze making it beat all funny, something bad could have happened.”

Applejack looked around for a moment, then up at Pete. “Ya mean, like maybe a fight?”

Applejack had just trounced Rainbow Dash in a small bout of friendly wrestling, the cyan mare now sleeping off her loss on the couch, and was eying Pete sitting in the kitchen. He was talking to Rarity, the white unicorn seeming a little worried from where AJ stood. The farm pony was thinking about their human host for several reasons. Firstly, she still wasn't over what she'd seen, even drunk she remembered that. Secondly, she was thinking of a way to help let off that steam. Pete and Rainbow had wrestled before, so maybe she could convince Pete to have a round with her.

“Hey, Pete!” Applejack called over the loud music in the apartment, catching the man's attention. She gave a smirk and a 'bring it on' motion with her hoof, which caused Pete to raise a brow. Even half drunk the man couldn't believe Applejack had called him by name. He was sure he knew what she wanted, he'd seen the match earlier, but he couldn't fathom why.

With a casual shrug, Pete rose from his chair and stepped across to the center of the room where Applejack stood. The tan pony popped her neck and smiled wide, confident that she could take the creature on despite his size. Pete responded with a sigh, and raised his hands slightly, leaving them lightly cupped for quick grappling. Twilight and Pinkie took notice of the pair and started clapping their hooves, Twilight from drunken joy, and Pinkie because she thought the two were starting to get along.

The fight started off with AJ gaining the upper hand, or rather hoof. Because she lacked the ability to fly that RD had, and being as her opponent was twice her size, she opted to start by launching herself at Pete's face. Using her powerful bucking legs, the farm pony crouched slightly and then shot forward, knocking Pete off his feet and onto his back. Applejack expected shock, what she got was the grin of a madman. Pete was a grapple expert, and starting off with her right in his grip was perfect. He grabbed hold of her lower forehooves and promptly flipped sideways, putting the mare on her back.

AJ blinked, stunned, for a second. She hadn't counted on him being so comfortable touching her, and slowly their position sunk into her mind. The farm pony cocked her hind legs and let loose a hard double kick to Pete's lower stomach. The human coughed hard as the blow landed and the pain registered. Realizing his mistake, Pete quickly rolled AJ onto her belly, at which point she started to fight back with renewed vigor. She was in a position of power and weakness. Pete was heavy, not heavy enough to bring her down with just his weight but his hands were pulling at her forehooves in an attempt to pin her, but her ability to buck was perfect in this position.

Unfortunately, that was where her plan failed. As her back legs coiled, putting more stress on her forelegs, Pete pushed with everything he had. Applejack's front legs went out, her face came down, and Pete right on top. He waited a few seconds while the mare under him struggled, finding no avenue of escape and finally surrendering, before standing up. He gave a small smile, which AJ scoffed at, and went back to his chair near the table.

Pete inhaled deeply at the conclusion of the story. That was dangerous. The reactions around the group ranged from shocked to nearly appalled. However, a different question was raised.

“What were we talking about, Rarity?” Pete asked, shifting his focus to the fashionista.

Rarity cleared her throat, “Princess Celestia had spoken to you earlier, and I was curious what she said.”

Pete looked at the princess, “And what did WE talk about?”

“I made a few … passes at you,” Celestia chuckled.

“Passes? Like, actual ones, or just fake ones? I thought they were fake.” Pete blinked.

“That's what you said,” Rarity replied, “Well, you said that she 'hit on you,' specifically.”

The human let out a disbelieving laugh, “I had the princess herself on me? Nice.”

The group half groaned, Applejack specifically shooting more dagger eyes at Pete, and even Twilight seemed to struggle for words. Pete responded by laughing and waving it all off.

“Oh, c'mon. Like she would actually have been interested in bland ass me. Please, a bum off the street would have a better chance than me.”

“Okay, that's too far!” Rainbow interjected. “Sure, you don't seem to really stand out, and from what we've heard you might not be the only human that would have put us up, but how many would have gone out of their way like that?”

“Like what?”

“Well,” Rarity said, biting her lip and looking away, “You did spend quite a bit on my own health care products.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed, “Mane curlers and make up are NOT health care, but that for sure. Plus, you've been pretty out of your way to make us feel more at home. I mean, massages, a party, lining up movies and sitting through them with us.”

“Unlimited access to an unending stream of perpetually updating information about any subject,” Twilight said, obviously referring to the internet, with a slightly vacant expression and possibly drool starting to form at the corner of her mouth.

Fluttershy blushed and said, “Um, you completely changed your eating habits since we, uh, shown up.”

Pinkie Pie nodded against Pete's chest, “Yeah! Just a week or two in and you didn't even mention that you weren't eating meat! Plus, there was all that baking stuff for me.”

“Now hold on,” Applejack interjected, “That meat eating thing is still gross, and that baking stuff was more for him than you! You're just using it so we aren't running him into the ground.”

The group turned to Applejack, several obviously with retorts on their tongues, but Pete spoke first.

“What is your deal? You've been this way since day one, and it hasn't stopped. It's like everything I do digs me deeper. I already told you that I'm not the best person ever, but that isn't enough for you. So tell me, just what is?”

Applejack snorted, “How about getting us home?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. One magical portal to Equestria coming RIGHT UP,” Pete retorted with an eye roll.

“I bet you don't even like apples!” AJ shouted back, obviously going for what would make the top of her shit list, but Pete just grined.

“Contrary to that, I actually love apples.”

“Well, we saw that particular scene.”

Pete gritted his teeth, ready to spit more acid, but a whimper from the pink pony against his chest stopped him.

“I heard it,” she whispered.

The human blinked and then took a sudden breath. He fell back against the couch, his eyes slightly unfocusing as his breath went shallow. Applejack stayed on target, her face hard even as the mares around her clamored, until it finally became obvious even to her that Pete wasn't faking.

“Forgot pills,” Pete spluttered, pressing a hand to his heart.

“Well where are they?!” Rainbow shouted, already airborne.

“Bathroom, orange bottle, cabinet.”

The cyan pegasus sped off and back in the same blur, struggling with the lid when she was back. Twilight stepped in, her horn lighting up and taking the bottle from the magicless pegasus. She quickly read the dosage, opened the bottle, and floated the pills to Pete. He didn't even bother using his hands, he simply leaned forward and took the pills into his mouth out of the air, swallowing them dry and resuming his leaned back position. The group remained on alert until their host's breathing returned to normal.

“Can't forget those,” Pete muttered angrily when he recovered.

Celestia looked to Pinkie, who had returned to holding the human tightly with her fore legs. “What exactly did you hear?”

“It was like it skipped a beat,” she said quietly.

The alicorn sisters looked at each other. “Arrhythmia,” they said at the same time.

“Pete,” Luna said slowly, “That is … an incredibly dangerous condition.”

“Had a heart attack before I graduated college,” he replied almost absently, his head laying against the back of the couch, looking at the ceiling with his eyes closed. “Had it ever since. Had to be careful when I worked out to loose weight, and even now it's there. Nothing I can do about it.”

The sisters shared another look, before Celestia excused them with a short, “Luna and I need to talk privately.” With the two out on the rooftop the mares left suddenly looked around the apartment.

“Place is … kinda messed up,” Rainbow said slowly.

“Well girls,” Applejack said, standing up, “We had the fun, we gotta help with the mess.”

Twilight stood up and walked over to the shelves of movies and games, “I'll start here.”

“I'll go to the kitchen,” Fluttershy half whispered.

“I'll help, dear,” Rarity chimed in and moved to follow her.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Pete said, raising his hands, “We aren't done yet. I … We still need to know what happened last night.”

Rainbow sighed, “Okay, I know what happened. I guess after AJ and I had our little match I slept off some of the booze. At least enough to be sober later...”

Rainbow Dash had woken up to a very shocking sight. Pete was wearing a shirt that was almost the exact same shade as her coat. She was certain he didn't know, but it was very common for stallions to wear an accessory or piece of clothing that matched the color of the mare they wanted to woo. It wasn't uncommon for mares to go for other mares, or stallions for stallions, but the point was, he was wearing her color. In Equestria it could be several mares, but Rainbow was the only one with that color here.

A quick look around the room shown that she was one of the few awake, along with Pete, Twilight, and a very drunk Applejack. She carefully moved off to the bathroom, a stress building in her stomach. With the door closed, she ran cold water over her face and looked herself in the mirror. She'd never been much for beautification, but the feeling in her gut pushed that away. She ran her hooves across her mane a few times, her mind going over the last two weeks. Since arriving she'd spent quite a bit of time with Pete, they all had, but Rainbow specifically. He watched movies with her, he suggested new ones, and they seemed to have similar tastes. For having so many eggheaded tendencies he liked things simple and impressive. Not long drawn out documentaries, not movies with lots of talking, but movies with bad villains, awesome heroes, and epic fights.

They'd talked a bit and she couldn't help herself. Now he was wearing a shirt with her coat color, half drunk, and she knew, oh did she know, that he was interested. That porn on his computer had shown her that, and Rainbow would be lying if she said she wasn't just a little curious about what he had had on her. She wasn't nearly as prudish as the others. Tonight was the night, she could make her move. She would make her move.

Grinning to herself, Rainbow opened the door and exited the bathroom. Applejack had passed out in the corner, her hat on top of her face, and Twilight and Pete were on the couch. Together. Lips locked against each other, Pete's hands taking every single opportunity to feel the unicorn's fur. Rainbow stared for a moment before the couple broke their kiss, Pete picked Twilight up and carried her into his room, leaving Rainbow Dash alone. A pack of emotions roiled inside her, but she moved to the kitchen. She knew what to do. The pegasus pulled open the only bottle of alcohol left and downed it. It didn't bother her that Pete was making out with her friend, it bothered her that she could feel what she felt.

Rainbow Dash was angry, not at Pete, but at Twilight. She didn't know why, she couldn't justify it, but she was mad, and jealous. Celestia, was she jealous, and it hurt her. She wanted to kick open the door and boot Twilight out, take her place, feel those hands on her flank. Rainbow finished the bottle at that thought, hurting Twilight like that. That wasn't loyalty, that wasn't her.

“So you two were making out when I finished using the bathroom. I couldn't take THAT sight, so I went into the kitchen and finished off the alcohol. When I came back you were both in his room,” Rainbow said, shrugging.

“That... pretty much seals it,” Pete said.

Twilight paused for a minute before shaking her head. “We should get this place back together.”

Pete simply nodded, but found himself suddenly held down by two mares, Rainbow and Pinkie, who shook their heads at his attempt to get up. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it, instead laying back against the couch.

Rainbow sighed, “I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you from now on, sick guy.”

“I can keep a check on it myself.”

“Like this morning?”

“That was...”

Pete never finished that sentence. At that moment the princesses returned and took a seat on the floor close to Pete's position on the couch. Their expressions were very serious and flat. Luna looked at Celestia one last time, the white alicorn nodding, and then to Pete.

“Pete,” she started slowly, “Your heart condition … we could fix it. Or rather, Equestrian doctors could.”

Once more the room became charged with emotions.

“What are you saying here, Luna?” Pete asked, sitting forward slightly.

“I … rather we, my sister and I, are suggesting that when we solve this interdimensional conundrum we take you back with us.”

“A-are you kidding?”

“Yeah,” Applejack shouted, “Please tell me you're jokin'!”

“We're not,” Celestia replied flatly, “Pete blames many of his problems on this world and the inhabitants, so we offer a multitude of help. Luna and I have long wondered if our ancestor's choice in banishing the humans was made in haste, and our guess is that it was. Whatever Pete may think of them, humans have clearly done well. In lieu of magic they have developed far in the fields of science and technology, while those can not match magical potential they are very good stand ins.”

“What my sister is trying to say,” Luna cut in, “Is that we want to bring humans back to their original home, back to our world, and we want Pete to be the first.”

“Why me?”

“Yeah, why him?” Applejack asked at almost the same time.

Celestia sighed, “Mostly because of all the help he's given us here. He has paid for our food, amenities, and given us access to many things I feel most would consider intrusive, such as his computer which my student has free access to, and has been a source of grief the past several days. Quite simply, he could have asked us to stay on a very short leash and had us work out our issues as frequently as possible, instead he's been accepting of our inability to solve the problem and given us nearly free reign. He has been courteous, kind, understanding, and very patient with us. I feel that a simple relocation would not be too much of a repayment for such actions.”

Applejack grumbled and walked off, leaving the rest of them to think on this offer. Of course the first thought on everyone's mind was the medical attention. Pete had spent the last several years of his life afraid that any minute could be his last, but this offer could change that. He could get those years back. It was more than tempting.

“Of course the choice is up to you,” Celestia said, noticing Pete's contemplative look.

“I … yeah, I just need to think on it for a bit,” he said, patting Pinkie's head and setting her aside before standing up and heading for the roof.

He sat on the upper roof for about a half hour before Twilight appeared, literally. There was a flash a few feet away from him and there she was. The unicorn looked around for a moment and then trotted over and sat next to the human. Several minutes went by before the silence broke, surprisingly by Twilight.

“Well, I hope it was good for you,” she said, obviously trying to play their happening last night off.

“Wish I could remember,” Pete said with a half smile, “It was my first time after all.”

Twilight's eyes went wide and she looked at him, “Your first time? You've never...”

“Nupe. Not once. Well, I've gotten close, but I'm kind of a high standards guy. I don't just want sex, I want sex with the right person. ...or pony, I guess.”

Celestia's student was quiet for another moment. “My first time,” she finally said, “Was back during my school days. He was a nice stallion and … I think I gave in because he wore that dumb sweater for almost a month.”

“Sweater?” Pete laughed.

“Yes. It's common during courtship for the interested party to wear something bearing the color of the pony they want. He wore the dumbest purple sweater, during summer, for almost a month. Of course the heat cycle probably had a hoof in it by that point, but I also felt sorry for him. We were together just over a month and then … it kinda fell apart I guess. I wanted books and he wanted parties.”

“I know that feeling. Basically me during most of college. I'd rather hang out in the library or my dorm room, everyone else would rather get drunk and party.”

Twilight was about to respond, but a sharp beeping rang out from Pete. The man blinked and pulled out his cell phone. Pressing his finger to his lips he hit the receive button and placed the phone to his ear.

“Yellow?”

“You dick,” Clarissa, Pete's sister and only sibling, said in an irritated tone. “A half dozen texts last night about your creepy porn folders again and no apology this morning?”

“Creepy porn folder?” Pete asked, his voice half trembling.

“Yeah. You sent be a whole bunch of crap about Twilight Sparkle and how you going to do her, right before you got tired and put your dick away.”

Pete went slack jawed. “I what?”

His sister sighed, “You said that she 'fell asleep' and that you were going to just go ahead and go to bed. Guessing your computer died before you could finish.”

In a heartbeat Pete was scrolling through his texts, and sure enough there was the evidence.

“You're right,” he said to Clarissa, “I was having a bad night, actually tried drinking, it did not work out well at all, and I'm sorry.”

There was a moment of silence from the other end followed quickly by a phone being hung up. Pete then looked at Twilight and smiled.

“Did you notice anything when you showered this morning?”

“Um, like what?”

“Like … semen.”

Twilight blushed for a moment before hitting realization. “No.”

“Yeah,” Pete said quickly, “And I don't remember any condoms in my room. I don't think I even have any. And the bed wasn't sticky or wet.” Before Twilight could say anything Pete pushed his message list up to Twilight's face. The last two messages read, “i'm totaly n bed wif Twilght!” and “O, shit. shes aslep now... thas okay shell be hre 2marrow.”

The two looked at each other for a moment, worry washing off both of them, but a sense of failure surging into Pete. He had, in fact, done nothing. On one hand, he'd done nothing! Everything was fine, no need for more weird relationship drama. On the other, he'd done nothing, he was still a virgin, he hadn't slept with the leader of the Elements of Harmony, he was just … Pete.

Of course the news went over better with the mares in the apartment, Twilight laughing it off and saying she should have noticed from the “lack of evidence.” Mostly Pete stayed out of it, once more leaning against a corner of the apartment while the mane six had their moment of friendship. This was noticed by a certain alicorn, however, who decided to crash his one man party.

“Made your decision, Pete?” Celestia asked almost casually.

“Not yet,” he responded, shaking his head, “One thing before another. Maybe once we've got a sure fire way of getting you all home I'll make a choice. Right now though, this is enough.”

Celestia nodded briefly, “I supposed that is a good enough answer for now, but don't forget about it.”

Pete chuckled, as if he could forget such an offer, and stepped off towards the bathroom on the other side of the apartment, Celestia heading for the doors to the roof near where they spoke. As he passed by a shelf of cases stacked on their backs, he noticed something. A slip of paper. Carefully pulling it out to examine it, Pete frowned. It was a ticket, a police ticket. A fine for disturbing the peace. It suddenly occurred to Pete that no one shut the music off, the police would have knocked, maybe battered their way inside if he didn't open the door. But he didn't. The citation was issued for three in the morning, but his last text was at two.

“Where was Celestia?” a voice in the back of his mind pondered.

She was at the party, Pete thought back, until he realized that she was only mentioned once. A drunk, passed out alicorn would be noticed, but no one mentioned her beyond Rarity. Where had Celestia been?

Pete changed course, sticking the ticket back where it was, and went for the roof again. He climbed to the upper roof only to find it vacant. Celestia was gone, and it dawned on Pete that this wasn't the first time.

“Celestia,” Pete half growled, “What are you doing?”