Ledge
Chapter 1: On a Ledge
A/N: Want to say the feelings are meant to be confused- more from me at the end.
He took a deep, long intake of the crisp night air, hoping it was going to be one of his last.
He slowly turned his gaze to the near empty sidewalks and the silent street.
Look at all these idiots, oblivious to their meaningless lives. They have no idea they're wrong. I used to think so, that life really mattered, that love existed, that people were compassionate and caring. That happiness was real. Boy, I sound like a suicidal freak. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Well I am. I need to show real feelings to myself- no lying, the ones that people have, hate, distrust, anger, sadness. Mom always said life was great, that the years pass by too quick. She couldn't be more wrong. Life is slow and degrading, always wanting to kick you when you're down, passing by like nails on chalkboard. He thought, surveying the pitiful scene below him. The end is near, he continued, the only reprieve from these haunting thoughts and imprisoning emotions.
He shuffled his feet on the edge of the window sill, still hesitant. The only image that willed him to fully stand on the ledge was the image of his garbled body on the pavement, and the finally sad faces of his family. He cracked his back and gave a small dark chuckle, thinking his last action was popping his back. He glanced up at the full moon, shining in all its glory. So much for that childish book- nothing happened, no matter how much I prayed. He thought about the suicide note attached to the inside part of the window, saying his goodbyes and reasons. He though about how easy it would of been to just have taken one of his brothers giant knives. Not that I could do that, though. I have enough willpower to fill a triple A battery- max. His gaze filly rested on the concrete below him, surely his final resting place. He closed his eyes in a moment that seemed to be an eternity, bunched his muscles and-
"WAIT!" A shrill cry came from behind.
Too late, he thought grimly as he free fell to his doom, head first. He waited for his insides to splash against the ground not far beneath him, but that moment didn't come. Instead, he peered open his eyes to find himself inside a purple glow, not looking unlike the bacteria he had studied in his science class. He levitated there, stunned, not even able to think. He felt this haze slowly pull him upwards, back towards the ledge he had surely jumped from. His head began to function properly, but was overloaded by the sheer improbability of it all. He temporarily forgot the suicide attempt as he tried to think. Eventually, he arrived back at the window. He was shuddering- not from the chilly night, but from how illogical it was. But he was in for a ride if he thought that was a mystery. He lazily, out of fear, opened his eyes to the most puzzling sight he had ever seen.
A small horse with huge eyes, a horn, and an eerie cartoonish quality looked at him sternly. The horse was a lavender purple, her hair a similar albeit darker tone with a single strip of hot pink in the middle. The eyes seemed to stare through his soul, and shocked him into a fully comprehensible state. "Wha...wha...what ARE yo...you?" He meekly asked, not fitting his character.
The animal slowly yet pointedly shook its head. "That doesn't matter. What matters is you jumped off a building in the middle of the night without any protection or supervision for that matter, leaving a note behind that looks like a suicide note." The horse said, now showing itself to be a girl.
He was stunned it could speak, let alone be so aware of the situation. He only blankly stared at the horse, too dumbfounded to from words.
The horse sighed, and sat down. Its strong yet caring gaze rested upon him. “Do you want to talk about it?” It reproachfully prodded. His shocked stare instantly turned cold when she said that. He shook his head, still not trusting his mouth.
The purple animal seemed unfazed. “When I was younger, I lived a city we call Canterlot. I lived alone, only my assistant there with me. I had moved out from my parents, pursuing studies under my mentor. I had shoved the idea of friendship out of my priorities list. I had only small amounts of spare time, and I assumed friendship was trivial, and instead decided to get ahead in my studies instead. When my mentor told me to go and make friends, I was extremely hesitant. I was tricked into it, though, but it was the best trick that has ever happened to me. I met my 4 best friends there- Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.
They have greatly improved my life, and I care about them and they care about me. You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. Here’s my point- if I had not come, you would have died. But did you think about anything else? Your family, your friends- best friends, and anyone who cares about you would be torn. Did you ever think about the dreams- your dreams- of the future; did you think how you would never achieve them? That book you wanted to write, that movie you wanted to film, that invention you wanted to make, did you think about those? You would give them all up- just for a little more than a year of emotion? One year for an eternity. Did you think about that?”
He sat there, a stoic expression on his face. He wanted to cry, to sob all of it out. To finally be able to have someone’s, or something’s, shoulder to cry on. But he was stubborn. He wanted his way. He felt his façade weakening though, and tried to shove the emotions away for once.
He stood up and sighed, stretching. “You wouldn’t understand. You haven’t been called god awful things for more than half your life, and not had friends for more. For you, not having friends was a choice. No one wants to hang out with me, and I’ve been a nice caring person. All this caught up to me though, really making me think. I figured since no one really wanted to see me, why be here when the grass is greener on the other side? I just want to leave, to get away from the drama. But I couldn’t possibly do that, I live with my parents, I’m broke, and I don’t speak the language they do here in Germany! So, the only other option is death! If you’d please, horse; leave me to my own devices.” He spat as he walked closer to the open window.
The same aura from before encompassed him, forcing him to stop. “One, I’m not a horse. I’m a unicorn. Second, even though you don’t believe me, people do care about you. If you really are nice and caring, then you must have some effect on people. It’s only logical. If not even that, your parents and brothers are sure to miss you at least a little. If you-“
“THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG! I WANT THEM TO MISS ME! THEY NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME, EVER! I TOLD THEM I FELT SUICIDAL, AND MY BROTHER DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO STOP PLAYING HIS FUCKING GAME!” The boy yelled, not caring anymore about his family hearing him. In his rage, he didn’t even think about how the unicorn knew everything about him. “AND I DON’T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR PERFECT LIFE SHIT, BECAUSE YOU’RE CLEARLY NOT FROM HERE! LIFE ON EARTH SUCKS, AND I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IT ANY MORE! NOW GOOD DAY TO YOU!” He sprinted toward the window, breaking free from the clearly stunned animal’s purple hold.
He nearly reached the window when he lost it. He lost the mask. He doubled over on his knees and cried. He cried for a long time. He cried about all he had done while depressed, he cried about how much in denial he was, he cried about how much trouble he was going to be in, and he cried about how it took a being from somewhere else to change his mind. After an indefinite period of time, the unicorn silently walked up to him and snuggled next to him. He cried harder. After what must have been an hour, the purple creature said softly, “I could change it you know. You could, too.” The boy looked up from his hands with puffy, red, and soaked eyes. “Wha…wha…what?” he asked, mid sob. She returned the gaze with a kind look.
“You could choose to fix your life, apologize to your family, have everything go back to normal, and live a happy life. Or, you could come back with me, and change your whole life and my whole dimension as well.
He studied her, thinking. “What’s your world l…like?” He asked.
She spent the next hour explaining her world full of ponies, called Equestria. All the magic, winged animals, weather alteration, and setting and rising of the moon and sun fascinated him. He got lost in the continuous explanations of their history and physics, silently making his decision up in his mind. It must have been a few hours by the time the animal finished its explanation, judging by the moon. He bit his lip, looking up at the moon. He looked back at the now silent unicorn, waiting for his answer.
He stood up. He studied her for a second, and spoke. “What’s your name?”
The purple unicorn looked slightly stunned from the question, but composed herself. “My name is Twilight Sparkle,” she presented.
The boy nodded, and then looked out the window to see it was almost dawn. “Well it seems this is your time of day, Twilight.” Twilight giggled. He smiled a genuine smile, the first one in months. He felt like he was a new man, and he felt that he needed to make everyone feel this euphoria. He looked back at the setting moon, the one, only a few hours ago, he thought was to be his last.
He took a deep, long intake of the crisp dawn air, hoping it was going to be one of many to come.
He turned his attention to Twilight. He simply said, “I’m ready.” She smiled, for she understood what he meant.
A light purple aura came off from Twilight’s horn, and a tall, doorway appeared, just wide enough for the boy to pass through. He turned to Twilight. “Thank you Twilight, for all you’ve done. I hope I see you again someday,” he expressed. He faced the portal and took a deep breath, and went in.
She yawned, waking from a peaceful sleep. She looked down at her bubblegum colored coat and smiled. She faced the window beside her bed, watching the golden rising sun. “Thank you,” she whispered. She quickly got out of bed, eager to face the new day ahead.
A/N: Well, that's all I have for this story. I have a couple things I want to say. First off, the boy in the story reflects me. But this isn't a self insert. This was me when I went through a stage of chronic depression, and this story came to be when I was reminiscing on those times. That was 6 months ago. So, that being said: all of the things the boy feels are actually feelings I would of had and all the facts he says are true as well. Yes, my brother did actually continue to play his game when I told my family I felt suicidal. Anyway, second: I left you to fill in the blanks of what happened to him, however I might be making a bonus chapter if this story gets a decent amount of views or if anyone's confused. Or, I might not. It depends.
Anyways, thanks for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
MisterFluttershy