Professor Hooves
Chapter One
Professor Hooves sighed as she slid a bundle of envelopes through the next door in Ponyville. It appeared that they were largely cards celebrating Hearth Warming Eve, judging by their rigidity. But it was none of her business what was inside the envelopes she was delivering.

The Pegasus ponies responsible for the weather were going rather overboard with the snow, she thought as she glided over to the next house. It was already at least a hoof thick, with more drifting down. It looked lovely for the ponies enjoying the warmth indoors, and for the young fillies and colts out sledging and playing, but for hard-working ponies like herself, it was simply cold. And wet, of course, once it melted into her coat.

The next door was the one with the stiff letterbox, so she used one hoof to lever it open while posting the envelopes through. More cards, it seemed. She did enjoy Hearth Warming Eve, regardless of the extra workload. The extra pay she received for the overtime was welcome when it came to buying gifts. The only drawback was that since the unfortunate incident involving the dropped parcels on her first day, she was not allowed to carry parcels, which really did limit her earning potential. But, she didn't mind too much. Her main income from the university was plenty.

Few, apart from her students, were aware of the fact that her main job was not delivering the post in Ponyville. It was probably a good thing that it wasn't, anyway; her colleagues at the post office never allowed her to forget her only mistake on the job. They thought that overfilling her bag, and stuffing it with rocks, was an amusing prank, and once the bag overturned and spilt letters everywhere it was her fault. Well, you can't win them all, she thought.

Her postbag was nice and light now, so she was using her wings to zip around. When the bag was heavy, it put a strain on her wings so she preferred to walk. Not now, though. She could keep her hooves out of the snow and simply land gracefully next to the letterbox she had to post through. It was definitely an improvement, but it wasn't going to dry her soaking wet mane and tail. She sifted through her remaining letters to see which houses remained. It appeared that there were two more residential houses then a final visit to Cupcake Corner, to give them their post and pick up a muffin. Derpy was very keen on muffins. The elaborate cupcakes were delicious, but a warm muffin fresh from the oven with soft chocolate chips... it was the perfect end to a hard shift.

The final two houses behaved themselves as Derpy expected, so she was soon weaving through the streets to Cupcake Corner, which was easily visible from above thanks to its distinctive roof. She allowed the aches to leave her back by doing a couple of slow barrel rolls, and rued the fact that her teaching job didn't pay enough for her to live comfortably. Thus, she had to deliver the mail part-time.

“Welcome welcome welcome!” Came a familiar voice as Derpy pushed the traditional door open and stepped into the warm shop, with the doorbell ringing above her head. Stamping her hooves on the doormat to dislodge the snow, she beamed at Pinkie Pie, who was hopping on the spot next to the counter.

“Hi Pinkie.” Derpy replied, stepping forward and up to the counter. “Are Mr and Mrs Cupcake around, or are you running the shop?”
“Oh, I'm running the shop.” Pinkie zoomed behind the counter. “They trust me. What would you like, Professor?”
“One fresh muffin, if you please.”
“Coming right up!” Pinkie disappeared into the back, full of her usual energy.

Derpy pulled the post out of her bag and placed it on the counter. There were a few cards for Pinkie, so she put those on a separate pile to make it easier for her favourite pink pony.
“One freshly baked super-duper muffin!” Pinkie placed it in front of Derpy, beaming.
“Thank you Pinkie.” Derpy said, handing over a couple of coins in payment. “Here's your mail.”
“Thank you thank you thank you!” Pinkie replied, eagerly tearing into her cards and then oo-ing at the contents.

The Professor decided to eat her muffin indoors, rather than braving the cold again.
“So Pinkie, are you looking forward to Hearth Warming Eve?” She asked, knowing the answer well before the words came out of her mouth.
“Oh YES!” The party pony replied, looking especially happy at the thought. “I'm throwing FOUR parties and going to TWO others!! Can you believe it??”
“Sounds very exciting, I hope you have a lovely time.” Derpy nibbled at her muffin.
“It is, it is! Gummy is coming with me for ALL of them, I wouldn't want to leave him out.”
“Gummy is certainly welcome to join in.”

Pinkie trotted off to hang up her cards, or do whatever Pinkie did with her cards, so Derpy continued eating her muffin, savouring the taste. She spotted a calendar on the wall, counting down the days until Hearth Warming Eve, and she realised that it was the last day of the term at the university the next day. So, one more day of lectures then she was free to enjoy the holiday season like all the other ponies. That was certainly cheering her up.

She finished the muffin and thanked Pinkie, who seemed to be busy with something mysteriously Pinkie Pie-like, then headed back into the cold. A chill wind nipped at her neck, reminding her to wear her scarf tomorrow. Her wings were a blessing in the cold weather, allowing her to head home straight as an arrow and minimise her time in the wet snow.

Welcoming her home was a large pile of her students' work, which she had left on her desk when she went out to do the post. It couldn't dampen her mood, though, as she put some music on and sat down to mark it. The falling snow and decorations filling her house were perfect for making her feel better. It was even a Hearth's Warming Eve-themed pencil that she put between her teeth as she got down to the last of her work.

Chapter Two
The day dawned bright, which meant that there was no fresh snow falling. The alarm clock woke Derpy at six, and she quickly had breakfast and dressed in a warm scarf and hat. She'd heard somewhere that ponies lost most of their heat through their ears, so she tried to cover them up as often as possible when she was feeling cold.

Her route to the university was one well-travelled, and it took her over the outskirts of the Everfree Forest en route to Canterlot. The Forest looked beautiful with the boughs bending under the weight of the snow, and Fluttershy's cottage nestled in the snowdrifts. The winter winds seemed to blow all the loose snow there, but Fluttershy enlisted the help of Spike occasionally to keep her path melted and clear.

The mountains just looked white, so Derpy kept her eyes fixed on the towers of Canterlot to guide her to her place of work. She never seemed to be without her saddle bags full of marked work lately, but it didn't feel like much this time. Skirting round the mountain side, Derpy saw the observation tower of the university on the far side of Canterlot and made straight for it.

She landed in the courtyard near her department and brushed herself down. Flying through winds always left her looking a little dishevelled, and that was no way to present herself to her students. Unless, of course, she had worked in the school of magic, in which case she could turn up looking like whatever she pleased, but the university had rather higher standards of dress.

A sign on the wall nearby indicated that Derpy, or rather, Professor Hooves, was entering the mathematics department of Canterlot University.

She laid the marked work down on her desk in the lecture hall and shrugged off her saddle bags. It was five minutes until her students were due to arrive. Thankfully, mathematics wasn't particularly popular in Canterlot, so there were only about fifteen ponies in her class. Less students meant less work, and she couldn't complain about that.

“Good morning Professor.”
“Good morning Sweet Barley.”

“Good morning Professor.”
“Good morning Flower Dust.”
This repeated as Professor Hooves' students arrived, all with heavy textbooks and pencil cases in their saddle bags. They took seats near the front of the lecture hall, sitting eagerly. The Hearth Warming Eve spirit was infectious and the entire university was happier than usual.

“Welcome everypony to the last lesson before the Hearth Warming Eve break. I have marked your assignments, and you can pick them up on the way out at the end.” Derpy said, smiling at them all. “I was very pleased with the quality, so you have nothing to worry about. Anyway, let's move right on to the lesson today.”

Some of the students sighed a little at the idea of working on the last day of term, but Derpy ignored them with a small smile to herself. They would get over it.
“Today we're addressing the principles of fluid dynamics once again. I know we've been over this at least twice, but it was your weakest point on the assignment.” She picked up some chalk between her teeth and began drawing a diagram of a curved pipe on the wall.

“Professor?”
The question startled Derpy. Normally her students sat quietly and took notes, saving their questions until the end. To be interrupted mid-flow, as it were, was very unusual.
“Erm, yes?”
“How did you get your cutie mark?”

In any other lecture, Derpy would have ignored the question and gone back to the work. However, this was a special case. Partly because of the relaxed feel to the university, but also partly due to what she was actually teaching.
“Well, what would you guess?” Derpy asked, putting down the chalk and smiling.

The students looked a little confused, looking at one another and raising their eyebrows.
“Any guesses?”
“Professor, is it because you go swimming, or scuba diving?”
“Excellent guess, but no.”
“Um, do you blow bubbles for fun?”
“Also no.”

With that, everypony was stumped.
“Want to know the story behind my cutie mark?”
None of the ponies were enthusiastic enough to say anything, but they all looked intrigued as Derpy surveyed them. Actually, their keen gaze made her feel uncomfortable. She was acutely aware of her wall eye, which gave her a strange look. Coupled with her occasional clumsiness, she got a reputation she felt she didn't deserve. Excited young ponies were especially good at whispering to each other about her eye, which made Derpy self-conscious.

Thankfully, this time they simply looked at her and said nothing.

Chapter Three
“When I was a filly, younger than all of you, I really enjoyed learning. I enjoyed school. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I was surprised that my cutie mark didn't appear sooner. But I was last in my class to get my cutie mark, by quite a long way. And everypony knows that the last in the class to get their cutie mark is the awkward, shy one, right?”

The students nodded.
Derpy continued. “Well, I became concerned that school was holding me back. Surely if it didn't give me my cutie mark, it wasn't my special talent. So I left Ponyville, where I live, and came to Canterlot to look for other things to try. Which is when I first encountered Canterlot University.”

This twist brought an even more confused look to the faces of the ponies listening.
“Strange, isn't it. But I tried the library in the university, which you will all be familiar with. The only problem was, when I asked for directions to the story book area, I was laughed at. The ponies all thought I was a backward, country pony who had no place at the university.”

“Well, I ran away and cried. I ran straight past them, and hid in the furthest corner of the library. And in those days, that corner was full of dusty, unread mathematics books. When I was a filly, nobody studied it.”
This dramatic point was lost on the students, for whom Derpy's childhood sounded like a million years ago.
“Anyway, I lay in the corner and cried until I was sure nobody was looking for me. They turned off all the lights and locked the door, so I was stuck in the university library.”

“It was dark and a little cold, so I just stayed in my corner and waited. But boredom got the better of me, and I pulled a couple of the dusty books off the shelves to look at. The first few were boring, lots of text and nothing a young filly could understand.”
“But then, the best thing happened. I pulled out a particularly dreary looking book, and opened it to find a beautiful coloured diagram. I looked closer, and I actually understood all of it. By the time they came back to open the library, I had finished the book.”

Some of the students were staring to fidget with their manes, so Derpy hurried the story along. “Anyway, the book was all about... Fluid Dynamics. And the diagram I saw was the same one I've drawn here.” She tapped the diagram on the blackboard with her hoof. “As soon as I got back to Ponyville, I did some experiments in the bath with the flow of liquids around bubbles of gas. When I got out, not only was I clean but my amazing cutie mark had appeared.”

There was silence in response to the story.
“OK, I accept it's not the best story. But everyone's cutie mark means a lot to them.”
“Professor, were you doing an experiment when you pulled the plug out of the apple bobbing barrel on Nightmare Night?”

Derpy couldn't help but laugh. “Ah yes, rumours really do spread quickly. Where did you hear about that?”
“A few ponies from the university live in Ponyville and were there...”
“Well, yes. I wanted to experiment on the flow of water in a non-linear shaped contained of high-volume, but they are very hard to find. When I saw the barrel, I had to take my chance.”
This made everypony laugh.

Derpy returned to her lecture, glancing at her cutie mark occasionally and smiling. By the end of the lecture, she didn't even feel like setting an assignment over the holidays.
“OK, that's it everypony. You may go. Please pick up your assignment on the way out, and make your corrections over the holiday season.” She said, watching her students hastily packing their books into their saddlebags. “Have a merry Hearth Warming Eve.”

“You too, Professor.”
“Happy holidays, Professor.”

And then the lecture hall was empty, but for Derpy's drawings and the pony herself. She used a cloth to clean the blackboard, tidied a little then left herself. No point hanging around in the cold.

She had her dinner in the university cafeteria, enjoying some toasted hay and, of course, a dessert muffin, before making her way back to Ponyville for the holidays.

Chapter Four
The highlight of the season, apart from the complimentary muffins offered by the mayor's office, for Derpy was the play. The previous year she had played Rainbow Dash's assistant, and she was quite pleased with the performance. Auditions were being held in the town hall that day, so Derpy dressed up warmly and flew down to try and get a role in Equestria's favourite tradition.

“OK everypony, we will begin auditioning. Earth ponies, you will audition with me. Unicorns, with Cheerilee. And Pegasi, head for Big Mac.” The mayor called out as soon as Derpy arrived. Derpy smiled and headed for the short queue of Pegasi, keen to get started and show what she could do.

“Derpy Hooves?” Big Mac said, in his usual slow manner.
“Present.” Derpy replied, nodding and doing her best to look presentable. Big Mac raised an eyebrow, clearly recalling her previous clumsy incidents.
“OK Derpy, I'm not going to audition you... Twilight Sparkle wants a word.” He said, reading off his clipboard.
“Why?” Derpy replied, feeling worried that she might miss out.
“Just go, I'm quite busy. Sorry.” Big Mac said, before calling out the next name.

Twilight was waiting at the back of the town hall, where the stage was beginning to be set up.
“You wanted to see me, Twilight?”
The purple unicorn beamed when she heard Derpy, and turned around from whatever she was doing.
“Hi Professor!”
“You can call me Derpy when I'm not at the university, Twilight.”
“Oh, OK, well, anyway... I have a favour to ask of you.”
“What is it?”

“You see, the Princess has invited Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack and I to participate in the Canterlot production this year...”
“Oh, wow! That sounds like an amazing honour!”
“Yes, it really is! I'm certainly very excited. Anyway, the Princess has invited a number of ponies from Ponyville to go to Canterlot and join in... just minor roles, though.”
“So?”
“Well, since you were so good last year, I'd like to extend an invitation to you!”
“Oh my, what an honour! The Canterlot production is the centre of all the celebrations. I'd love to go.”
“Excellent! I'll tick you off on my list.”
“Wow, thank you for the offer.”
“It's quite alright. You'll probably have a role in the Pegasus crowd or something.”
“That's the role I've perfected here in Ponyville!” Derpy grinned, flexing her wings a little.

Twilight giggled. “Very good. OK, the train will be leaving on the day of the festival, if you'd like to ride with us.”
“That sounds perfect. I will see you then.” Derpy said, before heading back into the cold, feeling very pleased. Participating in the Canterlot show was... amazing. She might even see some of her old students in the audience!

On the way out, she was stopped by none other than her partner from last year, Rainbow Dash.
“Hi Derpy! How's it going?”
“Oh, good thank you Rainbow. You? I heard about your part in the Canterlot play.”
“I know! I'll be Captain Hurricane again, super awesome and the best in the whole play.”
“You'll be great, just like last year!” Derpy smiled.
“With you in the play, it'll be even better! You are going, aren't you?” Rainbow questioned her.
“Oh, of course!”
“Great! Well, I'll see you there... I need to rehearse my lines!” Rainbow said, before disappearing off with a flash of her signature Rainbow.

Chapter Five
In the excitement about going to Canterlot, and the too-frequent rehearsals organised by Twilight Sparkle, the time until the festival slipped away until it was the dress rehearsal, just the day before.
“Come on Rainbow, try harder!” Twilight complained, pointing her hoof up at the scenery.
“Okay, okay, it's not easy flying around with these massive wooden clouds up here!” Rainbow snapped back.
“Fluttershy can do it!”
“Oh, no, I'm just following Rainbow.”

Derpy was sat in a chair, watching. She didn't have a speaking part this time, so she was only needed towards the start, when there were crowds of Pegasi.
“Let's try it again!”
Really, everyone was perfect. It was just that Rainbow Dash got impatient and rushed things, leading to Twilight getting angry. They had been rehearsing almost constantly since the play had been announced, and Derpy had spent hours upon hours sat in the chair watching the others performing.

Rainbow didn't crash into the cloud this time, but she did clip it with her wings, and it looked like she might have done it deliberately. The cloud swung crazily, before the wire supporting it broke and it plunged towards the stage. Rarity just looked up in fear as the block of wood fell towards her, but a helpful hoof from the lightning-quick Pinkie Pie pushed her clear before she was crushed.
“RAINBOW!” Twilight yelled, her eyes wide with anger.

The rehearsal broke down into arguments over who did what wrong, while some of the younger ponies dragged the broken cloud away for repairs. Derpy felt a little bad, because their rehearsals were always running over because of problems like this, and the Ponyville play was losing out on valuable time.

“That will have to do.” Twilight sighed, sinking down onto a bench and shaking her head. Spike comforted her and Derpy decided it was time to go back home for the evening. After all, it was the big day soon, and she needed to be well-rested.

Arriving home, she made sure she had her scarf and hat ready for the next day, since the train journey went through the mountains and got pretty chilly. Her warm bed was now calling her name quite insistently, so she gave up and had an early night. As she lay with her eyes closed, she was thinking about her role the next day and how exciting it was going to be to be back in Canterlot.