A Simple Luncheon

"Why, hello girls," Mrs. Cake greeted good-naturedly from the counter. Behind her was her husband who was busy stacking and stashing cakes and other sweets on display. "If you're looking for Pinkie Pie, I'm afraid I haven't seen her all day." Cup Cake shook her head. "Oh, she's such a dear but sometimes she can be a little, well, unreliable at times." The baker smiled apologetically. "Or are you here for lunch?"

"Lunch please," Twilight answered as she tried to hold a drooling Spike back from the displays. "Let's see, we'll have...hmm, what should we have?" Behind her, the line groaned.

Rainbow Dash ruffled her feathers impatiently. "Eh, let's just go with the cupcakes."

"Oh, but the low-sugar ones this time," Rarity quickly added.

"Got any gems?"

"Sorry, Spike dear." Mrs. Cake smiled sadly at the little dragon. "Still trying to fix that emerald recipe. Maybe next time. Oh, well hello there." She had just noticed the grey stallion who stood awkwardly to the side. "I haven't seen you before."

"Oh, I'm, I uh..."

"He's new," Twilight quickly interjected as Ash struggled to speak. "Just got into town and we're helping him get settled."

"Really? Well, that explains where Pinkie Pie is. Probably preparing you an official welcome. Somehow that pony knows whenever a new pony arrives in Ponyville."

"A new pony, eh?" Carrot Cake took a break from his work. "Want some advice son?"

Ash nodded. Any help or information could be useful, he decided.

"If Pinkie Pie offers you her friendship, then by Celestia feathers accept it. Just ask Cranky Donkey if you see him around. What was your name again?"

"Uh..."

"What's the hold up?" a brown stallion called from the line. The other customers were getting antsy.

"Oh, I'm sorry for our rambling. Pinkie Pie must be rubbing on me. Either that or we're getting old." Mrs. Cake sighed as she handed Twilight a bag full of pastries in return for a few small gold coins.

"Next!" the motherly baker called as the group left the counter. Mr. Cake continued setting up the displays and went back into the kitchen to check on the twins and his batch of cookies. While the twins remained safe and sound in their restrictive highchairs, the cookies had mysteriously vanished. The only clues were the crumbs on Pumpkin Cake's face and the chocolate smears covering Pound Cake's hooves.

As the father began to the scold his naughty foals, Ash, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike, and Twilight sat at the nearest table.

"Let's see...the low-sugar for Rarity, coffee flavor for me, seven-spectrum frosting with sparkles for Rainbow, two grab-bag cupcakes for Spike, and this one's for you, Ash."

Twilight handed to him large cake with pink frosting on the top. The bottom was covered by a paper wrap. A cake in a cup: cupcake. Clever.

As everypony else dug into the delicacies, some with more manners than other, Ash simply stared at the "Pinkie Pie Welcoming Delight".

"What's wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked with a mouth filled with cake. She swallowed hard under Rarity's disapproving eye before continuing: "Don't tell me you don't know how to eat. Seriously, you just stick it in your mouth and chew."

"I figured as much." The stallion looked back at his meal. "So, we're having cakes for lunch?"

"Why, is there some sort of problem?" inquired Twilight.

"No, no. Is this common?"

Spike managed to hold back a snort. "I wish. Cupcakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Mmm..."

"We can always try a different place," Rarity offered.

"No, no. This is fine." Ash took a cautious bite from the cupcake. The sweetness almost burned. He took another bite and this time got more than just frosting. It was a nice change from apples and celery stalks, Ash had to admit.

The stallion placed the cupcake back down. "I need a name."

"Huh?" Everypony looked up from their meal in confusion.

"I need a name," Ash repeated. "Something to go by."

"We know what a name is," Rainbow Dash said in irritation. "Why though?"

"In case someone asks me for it, like the yellow baker did. So I was thinking along the lines of something like 'Sunshine
Meadows'..."

"Pffffft!"

"No good?" Ash wiped bits of rainbow-colored frosting off as best as he could with his hooves. "I thought it fit."

"Oh yeah, it fits your sunny personality perfectly," Rainbow Dash responded, her voice dripping with pure sarcasm.

"Alright then, how about Shadowfax?"

"Now that's just silly."

"Why are you looking for a new name when you already have a perfectly good one already?" asked Rarity.

"Trying to fit in here. Somehow, I'm doubting that 'Ashley' would be a popular name around here." Ash's features seemed to darken. "It's also not exactly the kind of name I'd like to keep."

"Is this part of your little guilt-trip baggage sort of thing?" Rainbow Dash scoffed, winning glares from the other two mares.

Twilight considered transforming the brash Pegasus' mouth into a zipper. It wasn't the first time.

"I think 'Ash' is a fine name," Rarity declared.

Twilight thought for a few moments. "Well, it definitely matches your coat. I think it'd work fine. In all honest, I think we're making too big of a deal. It's just a name."

"Just out of curiosity, Spike, who named you?" Ash inquired.

"Uh, I think Twilight did."

"Thought so." Ash sighed. Sighing was quickly becoming a habit of his, he realized. "Names have deeper meanings. Each has a tale behind it."

"A name doesn't define a pony though," Twilight argued. "A pony defines his or her own name."

"Besides," added Rarity, "your name has its own story, one that you created yourself. Do you really want to give that up?"

Ash was tempted to say yes, that he was more than willing to throw away his name and the life connected to it but in his heart, he knew otherwise.

Another sigh. Rainbow Dash quickly jumped in: "Or do you really want to be called 'Sunshine Meadows'?"

A grin slowly spread across his face. "Eh, better than Rainb--"

*Splat*

"Gah! It burns! The frosting burns!"

"Oops, sorry."

"You got cupcake in my eye!"

"Hey, I apologized, didn't I? 'Sides, you started it."

"You. Got. Cupcake. In. My. Eye!"

"Geez, you're acting like a filly. Just go wash it out."

"You. Got--"

"Forever!"

Ash slipped and fell straight onto the table into his partially eaten cake as Pinkie Pie poked her head out of the empty pastry bag.

"Gah! My other eye!"

"Pinkie Pie!" Rarity struggled to keep her voice at a tolerable indoor level. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I thought somepony was making a Pinkie promise but looks like Ash really did stick a cupcake in his eye. That's silly, cupcakes are for eating, you silly."

Ash vainly rubbed his eyes with his hooves. What he wouldn't do for fingers right now. Twilight produced a handkerchief which Ash gratefully accepted.

"Welp, gotta go! Still've got plenty to do," Pinkie said cheerfully as she ducked back into the bag. "Still've gotta make and send invitations."

Ash have the little bag a strange look. He picked it, shook it, peeked inside, stuck a hoof in. He looked back to his luncheon group with confusion painted on his face. "How did she..."

"Don't worry about it," Twilight said with a shrug. "It's Pinkie Pie. The less you try to understand, the easier life gets."

"If you say so..."

A small bell rung, indicating that the door had been opened and somepony was entering the bakery's premises.

Pinkie Pie jumped in wearing the strangest hat that was spewing out confetti from the top. Streamers hung from the sides.

The pink Earth pony began handing out colorful letters.

"Surprise welcome party today! B.Y.O.B! Bring your own buddy! In fact, bring all your buddies and friends! Here you guys!"

She gave invitations to Spike, Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash.

"What about me?" Ash asked.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Oh Ash, if I gave an invitation to your own surprise welcome-to-Ponyville party, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"...Guess not."

"You're so silly sometimes," Pinkie said with a snort. "Well, gotta run. Got some last minute touches to touch." And with that, the pink party pony bounced off.

"...That was also Pinkie Pie, right? I should just ignore it, right?"

"Well, I wouldn't say ignore," Twilight said as she unfolded the invitation which ejected a cloud of confetti into her face. "Last time we chose to ignore Pinkie Pies's antics the entire town was almost completely devoured."

".. What?"

"Hmm, at two huh?" Rainbow Dash gave the clock on wall a quick glance. "Wow, that's only a few minutes from now."

"Guess you could say it's a bit last minute."

"...."

"Not funny," said Spike.

"Don't lie," Ash responded. "That was hilarious."

"Where is the location?" Rarity asked, unwilling to open her own invitation and subject herself to the torrent of streamers and confetti hidden away behind its folds.

"Hmm, says here it's at the library."

"Wait, what?" Twilight grabbed the paper from Spike and gave it a hard scrutinizing stare. After she determined that no mistake had been made on the baby dragon's part, the purple Unicorn groaned. /Why at the library?/ she wondered. /Last time we hosted a party there I spent the rest of the week cleaning frosting from all the cookbooks./

"Alright! I love it when Pinkie Pie has her parties at our place." Spike grinned wildly. "We get to keep all the leftovers, right Twilight?"

"Just don't try to ration everypony's portions like before. I saw you give Scootaloo and dirty look after she got seconds."

"Didn't you see how big that piece of pie was though? I was just looking out for her."

"...Right."

"Not to interrupt," Ash jumped in, "but is it just me or is this place really empty all of a sudden?"

Everypony else looked around. Sure enough, the entire bakery was seemingly deserted. Half-eaten desserts were abandoned on the tables. Not even the Cakes could be seen.

"Huh, wonder where they all went." Twilight looked back to the clock. "We should probably get going too. It's almost two. Maybe I can convince Pinkie Pie to have the surprise party somewhere else."

The five left the bakery and headed back to the library. Ash threw the rest of his cupcake away. It was a regretful waste but he wasn't sure he wanted to eat something after it had been in his eye.

The entire town seemed eerily empty as well. Ash couldn't help but feel as if someone or something was following them, watching closely. Whether it was a case of clairvoyance or simply paranoia, the Unicorn could not tell. Regardless, Ash missed the solid presence of a wooden staff clutched in his fist.

Old memories surfaced, of abandoned villages, ghost towns, ambush points. Ash tried to push such thoughts out but as they got closer to the library, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was walking into a trap. It was a silly notion, he told himself but past experience argued otherwise.

The grey stallion flinched as Twilight slowly opened the library door, half-expecting something grotesque or sharp to pop out. When nothing happened, Ash released his breath. Rainbow Dash gave him a look of disapproval but bit back a comment on Ash's sissy behavior.

"Huh, that's strange." Twilight also expected something to jump out but instead of reanimated corpses or poisoned barbed spears, she thought of a certain pink pony yelling "Surprise!" followed by a wave of colored shrapnel from Pinkie's trademark confetti cannons. Instead, the library was completely empty; no ponies, no decorations, not even a simple "Welcome-to-Ponyville" sign. "Maybe Pinkie Pie wrote the wrong location."

"That doesn't explain where everyone else is," Ash said. "The locations on the invitation are all the same. You'd think we'd find a bunch of confused ponies around here at least."

"Pinkie Pie's always so thorough and careful with her invitations," Rarity noted. "It doesn't seem like her to mislabel the library."

"And look, there's even a hoofnote." Rainbow Dash lifted her invitation up. "'Note: not a mislabel, definitely at the library.'"

"Well, where do you think she is?" Twilight tapped her chin thoughtfully. "It's already two and when it comes to parties, Pinkie's always punctual."

"That's 'cause the party doesn't start till Pinkie gets there," said Spike.

"Do you think she's still handing out invites?" Ash asked.

"Doubt it," answered Rainbow Dash. "She must've finished by now. Maybe she's just finishing up decorations."

"But the library doesn't look the least bit different," Rarity protested. "Perhaps she's working on the desserts."

"Maybe..."

"Or maybe she's right behind you."

Ash froze as the familiar cheerful voice interrupted him. Slowly, he turned around.

"SURPRISE!"

*WHAM*

"Pinkie!" Twilight gasped. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Pinkie Pie replied while laughing. "I'm surprising of course. See, I knew you guys were going to go the library cuz that's where the party was but because Ash was with you, it wouldn't be much of a surprise. So I told everypony to hide outside and wait for you to go into the library and then yell 'Surprise' and surprise Ash and boy does he look surprised. Come on, everypony, lets get all the food and streamers and balloons inside."

"Pinkie, please leave your party cannon outside."

"Ooh, good thinking Twilight. If I fired it at close range, somepony might get hurt. I'll just fired it out here."

"Wait--"

With a loud bang, the entire library was covered in party decorations. A large sign that read "Welcome to Ponyville Ash the Hu--Unicorn that most certainly is a pony and not a hairless ape monster in disguise" hung itself on the wall.

"Whoa."

"Don't get to excited, Spike. You're cleaning up afterwards."

Pinkie Pie pulled out a large turntable out of her far-too-small saddlebag and placed it on a table as ponies began piling in.

"Come on Ash, I've gotta introduce you to everypony. There's Cheerilee and Twist and Pipsqueak and Ace and Berry Bunch right there at the punch table and Bon Bon and--Ash?"

"Up here."

Ash hung from the ceiling, his horn stabbed into the tree's trunk. Pinkie Pie's sudden surprise caused the tense Unicorn to jump a ridiculous height.

Speaking of ridiculous... Ash waved his legs uselessly as a slow and steady blush of embarrassment reached his face only to retreat back to his hind legs as they began to lose blood. The grey Unicorn was beginning to feel a little light-headed.

"Oh, no. Pinkie, I think we startled him."

"Hmm, I think you're right Fluttershy. I don't think I've ever seen anypony jump so high. Welp, I guess I won't need to hang the pinata up now. Who wants to go first?"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PINATA MONSTER SLAYERS!!! YAY!!"

"Applebloom, you drop that stick. Don't you go--ow! Hey, Ah'm gonna tell Big Mac! Gimme that stick!"

"Sweetie Belle! Stop climbing the bookshelves!"

"But sis, I can't reach the pinata."

*Whack*

"Ow!"

"Rainbow Dash, why are you hitting him?"

"I have no idea."

A/N: Cutie Mark Crusaders Pinata Monster Slayers are owned by Pen Stroke, author of Past Sins. If you got the reference yeah for you!

über-urlaub --> uber means super or hyper; urlaub means relaxation or vacation, go figure.

An entire chapter without a page break? Madness!